329 – Dealing with high-conflict people in divorce, with Bill Eddy

This week on the show, I have the legendary Bill Eddy joining me. Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and is the world's leading expert on methods for managing disputes involving people with high-conflict personalities. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners' association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists, and others. He has worked as the senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center, a certified family law specialist representing clients in family court, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist. In 2021, he received the Lifetime Achievement award from the Academy of Professional Mediators. Bill serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law, and is a conjoint associate professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has delivered talks and training to lawyers, judges, and mediators in over 30 U.S. states and 13 countries, and has authored or co-authored 20 books. His popular blog on the Psychology Today website has more than 5 million views. He regularly consults on issues of alienation, family violence, and false allegations in family court cases. In addition, Bill is the developer of the New Ways for Families® method of managing potentially high-conflict families in and out of family court.  In this episode we talk about: What a high-conflict person is. The four characteristics of a high-conflict person. Why trying to change a high-conflict person doesn't work and what to do instead. The difference between high-conflict people and personality disorders. The characteristics of people with a personality disorder. What NOT to do when engaging with high-conflict people. Narcissistic personality disorders as one of the most common types of high-conflict personality. Some of the books he wrote relevant to single mums, in particular, are – 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (co-author Randi Kreger) BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email, and Social Media Meltdowns Don't Alienate the Kids!: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce Bill's New Ways for Families method to help manage high-conflict families in and out of family court.  Links mentioned in the episode:  You can connect with Bill on his Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, or his YouTube channel. You can also check out his Podcast, It's All Your Fault HERE. Join the Thrive Tribe waitlist HERE.  Download the E-book – Thirteen single mothers share their struggles, top tips, and their favourite things about being a single mother – HERE. To contact Julia, email: [email protected]. Visit us at Single Mother Survival Guide. And join the email list there too. Or connect with Single Mother Survival Guide on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Pinterest.