33. The Hidden Ways Couples Self-Sabotage to Stay Connected

Are you holding yourself back in your relationship to keep the peace? This week on Who Do You Think You Are Talking To, we're diving deep into the surprising ways couples self-sabotage, not out of malice or lack of love, but out of fear. Fear of growing apart, fear of leaving someone behind, fear of rocking the boat. And guess what? It's way more common than you think. I'm Jenny Maxwell, and in this episode, I'm talking about how your nervous system is working overtime to protect love, belonging, and connection, even if it means holding you back from the growth you deeply want. You'll hear exactly how people-pleasing, micromanagement, and quiet self-sabotage sneak into relationships disguised as "compromise" and how we can start shifting those patterns today. Here's what we're unpacking together: The real emotional root of self-sabotage in relationships (hint: it's not laziness or lack of willpower) How fear of disconnection drives habits like over-accommodating, shrinking, or playing small Everyday examples across money, health, alcohol, and boundaries that will have you saying, "Oh wow, that's me" How self-protection can quietly erode intimacy, even when your intentions are good A step-by-step reset plan to shift these patterns gently, starting with naming what's happening This one is close to my heart, because the truth is, many of us think we're compromising when we're actually self-abandoning. But there is a better way. You can grow and stay connected. You can honor your needs without losing the people you love. This episode shows you how. Let's reset together. Resources mentioned: Free Pause + Reset Guide: How to move from trigger → pause → respond