333 More Joy And Doom

Oh, he's lost. He's hit. He wants to zum. Cuz what the fuck?

Well, you don't have to live like a refugee. Come on, so I'll join it. Do you know that song? No, I don't know that song.

What song are you singing? You don't know that you're supposed to go. Don't have to live like a refugee. Who sings that song?

Tom Petty, he's dead. God damn it. I'm sorry. What ever matter with that kind of stuff.

We were going to have a big musical moment. I shouldn't have sprang it on you. It's my fault. Totally.

Totally. Totally. My fault. Oh my God.

But we are here. Well, it's kind of interesting, but it's always interesting. So let's just go ahead and hit the little jingle, Solaris, and get into it. The following show is for Mature Audiences Only.

Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex life is quite lame?

Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky World of Play. Pfeiting like a... Woooo!

Yay! Wahoo! Hello and welcome to Proverted Podcasts. The show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle's sex and the human mind.

And I am Lady Solaris, a recording live on Zencaster from My Closet. That's right. You're back in the closet, Solaris. You're back in the closet.

We worked so hard to get you out of the closet and to get so many people out. And now, Proverted Podcasts, see, look, here's another rumor that's going to start. Proverted Podcast forces you back in the closet. This is not the reputation we worked for, Solaris.

I know, but there's better sound in my closet. And it's become picosi. It is. And the weather outside makes it a cuddly time to hang out in your closet.

And Psycho fucking new baby puppy will not be chewing on you in the closet. Correct. You have received a new family member. A new psycho pet.

I decided to torture myself and purchase a new puppy. Well, you know, you've been such a great sadist for so many years. I know. It's probably time you just jump on the other end of the spectrum and be a masochist who's psycho puppy.

Oh, definitely psycho puppy. Psycho puppy barked at me half of the day today for absolutely no reason other than he is demanding as hell. Psycho puppy also sleeps on my feet, which is adorable. So I kind of get both ends of the spectrum.

You're like, I hate you. I love you. I hit that's kind of like life right now. It's a very, you know, it's a little sugar with a little lemon.

Yes. Sweet and sour. Well, so I was anything other than getting the puppy anything, but have you played it all recently? I haven't actually since since things have opened back up.

I've just been so focused on trying to continue with soap and get so cemented again, which is the social, which is the social age players. It is a party that my husband, K-Lemon, I run. I'm trying to get that back up. I haven't really been focusing on playing, but I've been thinking about it.

I'm supposed to teach a class soon. So that needs to happen. Oh, my God. So people want to get a hold of social of age players?

Where would they find you? Soap dash LA.org. Fantastic. Now, Solaris, this is going to be weird what I'm going to do right now, but it's for your protection.

And I had an incident happen at a place that we will now refer to as doorway as long as you are with me on this show because I can't say the name in your presence because that will cause trouble for you, which I will explain when you're not here. But I do have a situation that happened at a place where you also are affiliated and I don't want you to be getting in trouble because we both know the history of people getting in trouble for speaking out about doorway. So what I am going to do, you have to say, Boogie, I do not approve of you talking about anything bad that has to do with a certain place. Boogie, I don't really approve of you talking bad about doorway.

Okay, good. Now that we have said that, you have officially voiced your concern that I not share about that place. So being said, you can still not be a part of this segment. I'm only going to do a short amount of time.

So I'm going to actually kick you out of this session and I will text you, just sit there. I'm going to talk for about 10 minutes, so don't go anywhere. I'm going to talk and then I'll give you a little text on the thingy that's set up right now and then come back on and you can join me. So you are not a part of this because this is my show and I can talk about whatever the fuck I want.

You don't have to be involved. So everyone say goodbye for a moment. Ladies and lardish, you will come back in just a moment. Bye.

Okay. All right, kids. So perverted podcast, we remember obviously this is about threshold and I don't really want to get too into it because the post that is coming up in FET life that ladies, lardish, and I are going to talk about Kathy is of course still on her thing that she's handling her business. I talked to her a couple of days ago.

She's hanging in there. She's getting stuff done. Hopefully we can get her back really soon. But in the meantime, we have people to talk about these amazing topics that apply to our lives in kink relationships, communication and stuff like this.

It's a very great topic that's coming up. So I don't want to spend too much time in this. I have made a very lengthy post if you are on FET life. You can go to my FET life page, my Count Boogie FET life page or you can go to the perverted podcast FET life page.

And I have posted this entire whatever my defense thing and that it's on there. But I do not stand down to bullies. You have known this for years. I have suffered great throwing out ofs and being kicked out and I have had many things in my life because I do not stand down to people that gather against you.

So this is a situation that was very bullshitty. It was handle bullshitty. And so I'm going to talk briefly about it. I did go to Threshold this weekend because I was talking about it like a fucking idiot because it went last month.

And apparently going last month must have really set off some people because they were waiting at the door for me basically. Like I didn't even get my fucking wallet out before a board member was there telling me that they had to talk to me with other board members. So I walk in like a dope and I got my toy bag and I'm going to go get a hangout, maybe write some jokes and do. Maybe see some people, try to flirt with some girls and then get some play going.

And so they pulled me aside for this conversation. So they didn't actually pull me aside. They specifically one board member in particular. I'm going to do my best to not mention names and keep my visceral anger and hatred to a minimum because you guys know I'm a fucking crazy hater and this was really shitty.

But I'm still trying to figure out how to approach this because it's still a club. People still play there. Solaris still has soap there. That's why she can't be on here because we know from the last incident that happened around episode 190 which I will be posting again that threshold leadership has policy of not letting anybody disclose facts about safety problems and leadership problems with the clubs.

It's like North Korea. You will be kicked out. And that's what we went through the last time. And I don't want Solaris to go through this.

She's my friend. She of course remains neutral. She's very outspoken about things that happen at threshold. And so I don't want her to get in trouble because that's what happened the last time to the other people that wanted to openly and honestly discuss problems at threshold.

So I go in there. They pull me into the lobby. They don't take me into the office. They don't take me anywhere.

I am completely unaware of what is going on. The second they said they want to talk to me, I figure because I know they hate me there. There's people there that do not like me. There's some people that know who I am and what I was but there's a lot of new people.

They have no idea who I was. All of the rumors about me being a predator and all this shit lies and whatever to make themselves feel better. Whatever. They don't know me that well.

So instead of having a meeting with me, instead of letting me know anything that this was even occurring, they pull me into the lobby of threshold. When you walk in the door, you go through the door and then there's like a little foyer where a fireplace used to be kind of a patio. And it's like literally right next to an open lobby area where there's probably 15 or so people milling about talking and things. This is a community party.

So there's non-members present and three board members flank me and begin to accuse me from four years ago to up until they kicked me out of threshold that I was part of a large embezzlement scheme that they've been stewing about for a couple of years now. They've been trying to figure out what it was. And they accuse somebody that used to handle money at threshold of a very, very large amount and unrealistically large amount of money being stolen from threshold. And I knew as this was going on that at some point somebody would probably who doesn't like me try to rope me into this shit.

And this is exactly what happened. So they accused me. They said, oh, we saw a discrepancy in the bank accounts. They have no real information because they don't have, threshold has been notoriously bad at bookkeeping for years because they have new leadership every year voted in.

And so everyone makes changes and doors and whatever. I mean, this is historically difficult to manage. There is no clear path to the financial history of threshold. So every board has to kind of make up and try to figure out what was going on in the past.

So they were accusing me of being a part of that. They were accused me not of the big, big money that they say was stolen, but they said that I was paid double checks that they said. And once again, I got no information. I got no call.

There was no due process. I was not brought into any meeting, any normal procedure. If you're going to try to ban somebody that you would do for any consent violation of accusation for any breaking of the rules for anything, there is a process where you tell that person, hey, there is a conflict with you. Somebody has posted a complaint about you.

Whatever. There is a fucking due process. And you go through that and you sit down with the people on the board. They can build a committee.

They will talk to you and say, this is what's going on. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I got none of that. They pulled me into the public lobby of threshold and accused me of being a fucking thief in the middle of the fucking threshold lobby and told me I was banned for life.

So as you can imagine, I was blindsided because I thought, oh, they're going to ban me because we talk about threshold now on the show, which of course, it's like North Korea. So you're not allowed to do that. So I figured at some point they would use that as an excuse to stop me from going there. So, and then they just literally like they're telling me I'm a fucking thief.

So to make a short story long, I'm just at about the time where I have to end this. You can go look up all the blah, blah, blah on FET life. The only thing I can think of is I don't, when I was there, I didn't have a lot of bills. So I didn't cash my checks on a regular basis.

So I would go to the bank and cash two or three checks at a time and then not go for a couple of months. So that's the only thing I can think of, but I can't defend myself because they gave me no amount. Like, who the fuck can't even give you an amount? I know people that owe me money from fucking 20 years ago.

I can tell you how much they owe me. They went nothing and they had no interest whatsoever in me defending myself or how that process would work or whatever. They wanted me fucking out and they wanted me to fucking leave. So as you can imagine, I'm a very aggressive person.

It might have got a little heated and everyone got a nice show. Some snowflakes who eavesdropped into the conversation heard things I said and got offended because they can't find things to be offended in their own life. They actually have to eavesdrop into people's conversations to get fucking offended now. So they ended the conversation.

They tried to kick me out once and I wouldn't. I wouldn't fucking leave because I was fucking pissed. And then they got all like, oh, this is happening. And I'm like, OK, don't kill people.

Don't kill people. Don't punch this little fucking face. Well, he's giving me that smug look. Don't do it.

So that's basically the gist. Sorry if this is all messy. I'm at my 10 minutes. That's where I stand right now that I was thrown out of threshold.

I wasn't given a due process. I wasn't allowed to whatever. I'm at the bank today. I'm looking through all my bills.

I'm looking through every deposit I check I have. I'm trying to get all that printed out. So at some point if they decide that they'll allow me to defend myself and then I have to decide do I want to do I want to go through this? And they know this because they know I'm at least some of the people.

They know I'm homeless. They know I'm fucking dealing with all sorts of shit. And they know this is old. I'm fucking tired.

I am tired of fighting threshold drama. I thought I could go back and just enjoy after years and years of service. Nine years I was at threshold. I was a schmuck just like everyone else doing everything for free.

And then it was the fat times and I charged a certain amount of money, about a thousand bucks a month and you were from a thousand to thirteen hundred a month to handle all the shit nobody wanted to do. And that was when I got paid. But the nine other years that I worked there was about my integrity and whatever. And for you to excuse me of being a fucking thief and trash that integrity that I have.

Fuck you motherfucker. Fuck you and you're fucking ass and not even give me a chance to defend myself to just say get the fuck out. But that being said shit I'm over the ten minutes I'm sorry I got a text to the lars. Sorry.

But you're my family. You're my fucking family. But where the podcast is my family. So I have to tell you what's going on in my life.

It's still one of the only clubs where people can go and be relatively safe. There are thousands of people that go into that club that have gone into that club. Some of the people that I hate more than fucking anything right now I acknowledge they have put in more time than I have to help people discover themselves and not feel judged for being who they are. So the mission of Threshold is still an amazing mission regardless of shitty scared people or ignorant people or conniving people or fucked up people.

It's still a basically good place and a safe place to go. And so I'm very conflicted because I want to see that fucking place burn because I'm so sick of being shit on. But at the same time I don't know how to proceed. So I'm telling you this is it.

I'm telling you what I think. I'm telling you what I feel. I wish Kathy was here to deal with this with me because I fucking she was I told her about it she was ready to go off. But she's got to deal with her shit.

So that's it. That's my potato fucking mayhem. I went into a club like a dope thinking I was going to have a nice time and hang out and just you know be a part of what's going on. And instead I was I was accused of being a thief.

So that's where I meant. And here's where it is. You either believe it or you don't. You either believe me or you don't.

Some people are going to be like you're a fucking thief. They said you're a thief. So you're a fucking thief. Some of you're going to go.

I've been listening to your show for fucking years. It seemed like you're the type of person that would do that either way. It doesn't matter. The information has been put out and I'll be goddamned if I'm going to have that slip out and me not say it myself.

This is where it is. So if you want to believe what you want, I don't give a shit. Like there's more shit I've done in the past. There's all the reasons I could be fucking kicked out of threshold.

Kick me out for something I did. Goddamn it. All right. Fuck it.

I'm sorry. I went over the 10 minutes. You don't have to listen. You can listen to other shows or skip ahead.

All right. Hang on. I'm trying to text the lawyers. Come back.

See you out there. Let's see if she's there. Hello. Are you there?

Yes, I am. Are you there? Yes. I am so glad.

Let's just say I talked about flowers. I talked about joy. I talked about things that you have no idea what it was. And thank you so much for being patient.

I know I said 10 minutes and I went over 10 minutes. But that's fine. I just watched random TikTok videos. And Kalem's watching the fucking Psycho Puppy.

So technically any amount of time that you're away from Psycho Puppy while it's learning and training is good time. All right. So now that I've talked about all my flowers and stuff like that, how about if I push this little button here and we get into a fat life topic? Sounds great.

That I helped you do with mental workies. Let's build a logic on the motor. Now we're better protected from a King Chaining World. For your peace of mind, the author of every post we talk about has given us specific permission to do so.

All right. So this is a I love this post. I'm just going to get into it. So for you, I think it's for you or for you or for yeah, frozen yogurt.

I fucking love frozen yogurt. Okay. Whatever. For you wrote the next step and the next step goes.

It's a short post, but it's really wonderful. So what's the next step? When you've come to that moment and life is no longer shaped as a ladder or it could be, but you figured out that the never ending climbing ladder might not be the obvious answer. When you've traveled around the world, when you've climbed Mount Everest and you have no interest of traveling to Mars, what then?

I've come to realize that growth might not be so connected to the outside as I used to think. Maybe the next step is a journey towards the insides to find internal peace. Just writing this makes me think, oh, I'm really far out. But then again, far out means it's a good thing.

I guess it will really be a hard journey. And I also suspect that that step will not have the shape of a step, but I'm really eager to pack my rucksack and get started. Oh my God, I love that post. It's just very interesting because I feel like everybody on the planet has started to come to this realization.

I think I absolutely, maybe not everyone on the planet. There's some people who know, maybe not everybody, but I think through the COVID, I think through COVID, it really kind of made people start to second guess why the hell am I trying to decline this corporate ladder? Why the hell am I trying to do all of these stupid things that people keep telling me that I have to do in order to continue to like one up in life in order to get to the next level in the game? I think when you're when the place you're in has said you have to move kind of like COVID or losing your job or being trapped in inside with somebody that you fucking hate for two years to where you realize this isn't a great relationship or any other number of things, your point of view may not have enough light to kind of see where that next step is because you know, we talk all the time.

Oh, I have this point of view, that point of view. Remember the word is point. I know we're speaking metaphor. Yeah.

Point is a very small, a very small thing. You have a point of view. It doesn't mean you get the full picture. You don't have a full view.

It's not said I have a full view. It says you have a point of view, which means that if you are only able to look at this point of view, you can't see all the other options of dealing with life. And that's where that next step comes in because when I get to like right now with everything that's going on, not just fucking that place that I won't talk about with you, but all of the things in my life, what I have done in my life is not working. As far as me being a happy person, it is not working.

So I need to take another step. And what I've shared before a number of times is because what's not working now is not working based on all my points of view, that step may not look at all like the step I think it should, like they said in the post. It may be a completely different thing. It may be a completely different way to go about approaching my happiness or who I am as a person.

It may be a completely different way to look at my kink, my kink relationships, my dynamics, my orientation, my lack of orientation, my identity, all of those things that are wrapped up in my point of view, I just might not have enough light, which means you have to take a different path. Does that make sense? It does. I mean, you know, over time trying different things in order to succeed in quotations, as well as in order to find happiness or to be happy because that's all it seems like people are telling everybody that they should be all the time, which is incredibly frustrating.

I completely understand that. It, I do personally believe that it does start from within the client, the client, the latter. And I think that being an individual that has disability really puts that thing into perspective, which is why I've been in therapy for so many years because I have had the pressure of climb the ladder, you know, go to college, graduate college, get your job, climb, you know, in the corporate structure and then, you know, make lots of money and then retire and all this other sort of shit that I was told. I was even told in the community itself, you know, this, these are these steps that you have to take in order to be the dominant that you want to be.

And I tried to smash the relationship that I had with my husband when we first started in the community into that tiny box that everybody around me kept telling me that I had to climb the ladder in order to be, quote, successful as a dominant. Right. Through, through my, through learning about myself, through, you know, expanding the relationships that I have, through actually really learning from the younger generations, quite frankly, people who have come in and have different perspectives and kind of don't care like that, like rules are not necessarily set in stone in terms of, of, you know, how you have to do this, that or the other thing. All those things put together have really made me understand and realize that I'm the only one that can set that path.

But I'm with you on sometimes you have no idea how to get to that next step. I'm current. I think we're all at some point in our lives in stuck in that. I know I am.

COVID hit me hard because as someone with a disability, some I did not leave the house for over a year really until I got vaccinated. I didn't really leave the house. I had everything delivered. And my husband, we were very, very lucky, very grateful.

He got to work from home and we did not feel the financial effects of the pandemic, but I felt the, I personally felt the effect on my career, on my ability to do a lot of the things that I was doing before. And I right now am in a position where I do feel stuck and there's things that I keep doing that I've done in the past over and over again that don't seem like they're going to get me to happy, but I keep doing them because it's the only thing that I don't have to do. That is, I mean, I think that is universal and, and yeah, it, for me, it boils down to fear because to change, to realize that what you're doing is not working. It hurts your ego, especially when you start getting older and you think you know some shit, you know, I have a show, I talk, I speak great wisdom of my, my amazingness.

And to all of a sudden be like, you know, I may know a couple things, but I don't know who Boogie is. I don't know who this person is. I know he's fucking terrified. I know he has a lot of fears.

I know he has a lot of pain and he, and, and I'm not comfortable in my own skin and the voices in my head are just a daily battle, but it's, you get so scared. You do the same thing, even though you know it's not going to work, you do it because that's all you know because it's kind of like a, just an existence, like because I'm so scared, like I know doing other things, seeking new wisdom, even revisiting old wisdom that maybe is in my head that I just haven't been doing and I just don't remember that I'm not doing those things anymore. It, to me, it, it represents a fear of more pain than I can handle because right now I'm just like electric. I just did so much just constant battle, fight or flight, you know, I went from the heat and I'm like, oh, just survive the heat, just survive the heat, just survive the heat summer and now all of a sudden, oh, it's fucking cold.

Now I got to survive that, you know, and, and so you're so afraid of more pain because there's no way you're going to look inside and not see shit you don't like. There's no way that you're going to see things that are going to humble you that are going to make you realize your faults and your vulnerabilities. So I think so many people are afraid of that that we just kind of buoy along with the same shit that we do, even though we know it doesn't work, but at least it kind of just keeps this existence going where at least I know this and I can kind of survive in the shitty relationship and the shitty job and the shitty point of view about who I am and how I should be with other people. But ultimately it comes for me, it comes down to a fear and, and I can't do it anymore.

I'm either going to kill myself or I'm going to fucking take another step and I don't know what that step is going to be and it's scary. Fear I think is my primary driving factor of literally everything. I say that because I am a person who has been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder with panic attacks. I am, I went through a lot of therapy in order to get to the point where it's not as impactful in my life, but anything I do.

It's always, well, wait a minute, what if this? What if that? What if this? And it does stop me from doing a lot of things in my life, from making certain decisions that as well as disability.

There's things that like mentally I feel like I could handle, but physically because of my disabilities, I cannot, which is also a, just a shit show in itself because to mentally want to do something so bad, but physically not be able to do it is very difficult, especially when it's a step that I feel like could get me, you know, a step forward, could get me one step closer to happiness. Sure, if you had the energy, if you had the energy and the physical and I mean, I know the things that you have to go through. So I'm surely wouldn't compare mine, but I wake up every morning in pain. Of course.

In my current, with my back, you know, it's arthritic. It's not going to go away. I have things, you know, I have, when you feel, and I can't even imagine what it's like to have to all of it also add 500 doctors and all the shit that you have to go through on that. But there is something when you start getting older and shit starts falling off or you're or if you're younger and you have physical limitations, you don't, you're like, it's going to hurt.

You end up a fucking anything hurts. And so you add that to, oh, I want to do this. Oh, you got to put in 12 hours. Oh, you got to go and do this thing and climb this ladder and do this.

You're like, it's just going to hurt. I don't want to do it. Yeah, it's correct. Exactly.

I don't want to pick it like I have a like, like I know my hurt level by how much change I would be willing to pick up on the ground. Like there's so many times because I'm cheap as mother fucking shit. I am the cheapest person in the fucking world. Like I'll see quarters now and that's laundry money right there.

I will see quarters and go fuck it. Let it get out of it. I've seen dollars and I'm like, I am, it is going to hurt more than that fucking dollar is worth in my pocket. Just walk away on a bad day.

So so yeah, physical has has something to do with it. But getting let's get to the hope. So we acknowledge their sphere. We acknowledge there needs to be another step.

We acknowledge that that step might not look from our current point of view what we think it will. How we find that step is is obviously the first step is admitting that you need to take a step. The first step is to go what I'm doing is not working and I need help. I need other points of view or I need objective points of you to point out that my points of view are not the points of you that used to be better for me.

But no matter what, you need to start with that first step that I don't know how to get myself out of this myself. And it's you got to set down that ego, which for me is catastrophic. And really kind of putting that to the point in terms of hope. One of the one of the researchers writers that has really helped me has been Brene Brown because of her research in shame and vulnerability and her really kind of talking about who you should and shouldn't talk to about your deepest things has been very helpful.

Wow. Because I'm able to be a vulnerable person to certain people who can then go what you're thinking in your head is stupid. You should do XYZ or wait a minute. Maybe you want to rethink that.

That's amazing. It's people that I very much so trust. So highly recommend speaking to people that you highly trust and become vulnerable with them, even though like we said before, it is scary as hell. There's a lot of fear there.

Well, I want to get back to this person you talked about in this thing because you just said something that's my thing. Like I try to be so honest and give so much information to people and just barrage them with facts that will make them think, oh, he's got to be telling the truth because he's given us all this fucking crazy information that no fucking human would share because it makes him look like an asshole. But I have consistently been burned, burned, homeless, burned, thrown out by what I share with people. So I would love to get some information on who I'm supposed to share with and who I'm not because apparently I have no fucking clue.

I have always been like this. Talk to everyone and be open with everyone. Go to the bus stop and tell the guy I had to dick up my ass when I was seven years old. Fuck and you fuck it.

Do you tell everyone everyone just close being honest person and you know what? It fucks you. It fucks you. Oh, wait, because I tell people it fucks you morally.

It fucks you everywhere. I tell people all the time always because I have had to learn this a lot over many years because a lot of people when they meet me initially feel that I am a cold and mean person. I don't know if I have resting bitch base. You do.

I know if it's because I I I tend to listen more than I speak in conversations with people because I'm very curious about people and about I don't know I'm just very curious about people. It's entertaining. I don't know it's entertaining. I like listening to people talk about themselves and I tell people a third of the people may like you a third of the people are going to be neutral and third of the people are going to hate you.

So basically two thirds of the people don't matter. Right. I probably have about 60% on the hate side. I'm kind of an aggressive person.

Maybe the other way. I don't know. So this is an amazing conversation. I'm so glad that I did not spend a whole show on the other thing because I'm so glad we talked to this because it's I mean this is my therapy being on this show and having to think about these things and like this post that Froyo wrote that just it we have to find other points of you.

We cannot stop learning. If you are suffering it's because something that you are doing is not working. There is a possibility to find that step and then the next step after that you don't have to worry about because you just got to find the first step and that first step may be just literally opening yourself up and doing a little research to find things like I just heard you talk about somebody that had something that absolutely impacts me and I'm like can you really write that down because I'd really like to read some of that shit and see if I can get a new point of view out of it. An amazing topic.

Solars thank you so much for hanging out with me and I know it was a little weird because all the shit went down. You were probably going to do some promoting that you are not going to be doing now. But I can promote myself and ladies on RS dot com. That's right.

God damn it. Well Solars thank you so much for being here and we're definitely if you're willing to come back I'd love hearing you talking. Of course as always always always. Absolutely.

Well Solars loving kisses happy psycho puppy training time. Yay thanks. I'm sure. You know Enigma if Kathy is going to be out handling her stuff.

I just want to feel like I can burp with someone. I just want to feel like thank you for letting me do that. You're welcome. I'm glad I could be there for you.

It was really difficult to hold that for the four seconds that the computer was lining up to start recording. I mean it was definitely a deep one so I appreciate that. I was it was this is how we start your segment Enigma because you're special. It's good to have you back any good stuff to report or what's going on.

How's the Halloween on you doing the haunt that I'm working on is a lot of fun. We did get a wrench thrown into our engine this last week in California instigated a much more intense mass mandate for large gatherings which an amusement park or any haunted defection is going to be. But it's been actually kind of a lesson in creativity because our makeup artist had to figure out how to put our makeup on top of masks. So I can still so I can still look like a creepy monster man but now I have a mask and so I'm a lot safer and and I can still do my job and get people also roused.

So are you guys having reports of of COVID to my knowledge? No, I personally have been trying to get tested every every couple weeks working at SixLags but I to my knowledge we haven't had anybody show up with COVID but I don't know what they would tell us. Well, no, I'm just saying have you had to outbreak some of some employees and stuff like that. Yeah, as far as I know, no we have not.

Alright, well so far so good and any nice boobies flash at you? I keep thinking at some point, has someone ever flashed you? No one's flashed me. I do get, I do get called Daddy quite a bit.

That's a win. Usually it's in a joking manner but every once in a while someone goes screams the elves goes Daddy and starts flushing. I do get hit on by older women a lot. Fucking Cougars are awesome dude.

I need a Cougar. There was one on I think it was Saturday this past weekend who I went up and scared her instead of screaming she turned and I don't know how to describe the look. The look of like I'm going to take you right here sort of look and her friend was like she likes to get whipped as she's pulling her friend away and I'm like oh okay you're all done. Yeah, you're beat got sad.

I'll give you my Instagram or something let's figure it out. So yeah I get little bits of like inklings of scourousness but other than that nothing really super exciting happens. Okay, perverted podcast listeners we're on a mission. If you ever go to Six Flags Magic Mountain and you go through a nigmas haunted maze.

Goddamn it show him some titties or ass. I mean or big flopping dick I don't know you don't want to be you know you don't want to make people offended apparently I offend a lot of people and the best people you probably don't want to see the dick you're not a dick person are you? I mean if it's attached to a fem person. Okay fair enough.

So I'm not open to it. I'm not open to it. I'm not as a genital specific as me. I was going to say in general but sure.

You know but like if you know if it's a cute person I don't really care what's between the legs. Fantastic. I never actually never knew that. I mean I knew you were a switch and I just never knew what you identified as orientation because I guess it really doesn't matter because we're not going to fuck.

So it's true but god damn it so then that gives you more options. Everybody flash a nigma. I'll take it. If you're cute.

But what qualifies as cute. I don't even know anyone. Goddamn it. There's so many questions.

It's been a long week for me. Don't ask. So we got two topics and I actually really like both of these topics. I especially like the second one.

Let's do can we do the the legal one first? Sure. So our first article up comes from WHBL.com. It's a pretty short article but if you wanted to find more on this topic it's pretty easily googledible.

The article is called California law prohibits secretly removing condom during sex. First off me a nigma is pissed this even had to be a law but humans are shit and so this was a necessary thing. Governor Newsom signed into law that prohibits removing a condom during sex without consent an act that is often called stealthing making it a sexually battery offense. It is the first law of its kind and it passed with no opposition.

Thank God. The assembly woman responsible for the bill Christina Garcia said that this was something affecting both women and gay men and it was just getting worse. She also cited a study that we wish didn't need to happen but needed to happen to show the numbers of how bad this was actually getting in our country. Okay so first off we did talk about this I think a couple months ago and you had brought this up and we had talked that this law was getting ready to be passed.

So I'm very happy that it was passed. Now then it's very important to point out that this was passed as a civil law. This is not they have not passed a criminal law against stealthing primarily as somebody who has a lot of defenslers in the family that this is an almost impossible he see he versus they or them. Let me say this again.

Goddamn it. This is a really hard case to get a legal conviction out of because it's a he said she said or he said he said or that was what I was trying to get to. Whoever it's a it's not an easy case to prove but civil cases are much easier and there needs to be a lot less factual evidence in order to get some sort of judgment or compensation in. So that's why I'm sure they went for this route instead of trying to tie up the courts for years and years and years on a legal case for stealthing.

So I hear the hatred coming and I hear I hear the douchebag saying whoa what are we supposed to like you know write a write a waiver out every time we want to have sex. If that's what you need to not violate someone's consent and to find out exactly what another human being wants during sex with you yes that that's what it takes that's what it takes. It's a simple negotiation. It's a simple conversation we talk about it in this lifestyle ad nauseam.

Negotiation can be sexy. It is about two people that both should be getting something out of that even if you're going to objectify someone in play we have to learn that humans deserve a level of respect before and after and during their sex. Very much so. Yeah and I think it goes back to the whole like oh it doesn't feel good or I don't I can't feel sensations as well as you know I can without it but like it's about respect and it's about like if you're having better communication with your partners maybe you can try different kinds of condoms there's different kinds of condoms on there.

They're thinner it's like or they have special kind of lubes that can give you all tingly sensation while you're using it. Like they have different kinds of things that you can try so if like if you're not comfortable with a standard issue condom you can try other things you can try an internal condom you can try like there are ways to work with what you're comfortable with but just saying I don't want to do it or tricking your partner and saying sure I'll do it but then taking it off and fucking them without it like that's shitty that's do she that's that's not okay and if anybody is listening to this podcast and is happy doing that I mean I'm I don't want to speak for boogie but stop listening to the podcast because I don't want you as a fan. Well I am on two sides of the spectrum on that in my in my one I do agree with that on the second one no keep listening to the podcast until it sinks into your fucking head that there are two people involved in the scenario and if you are so obsessed with the feeling of not wearing a condom and to the point where you have to basically assault the person that you are playing with you are not mature and grown up enough to have sex you should go and have sex with a pound of hamburger meat and you don't have to use a condom put it in the microwave for you know like 15 seconds and then go fuck it you don't deserve to fuck humans I'm saying that extra loud I'm in the library. How you doing?

But it is but it is true the whole it doesn't feel right in whatever I mean wow wow I understand I have a dick but the reality is is none of that matters it does not matter if the other person does not want something inside them that is not protected then that is the end of the conversation go fuck someone else there are plenty of people who don't want to have sex with condoms that is the person that you need to play with that is willing to take that risk with you you don't get to lie to somebody and manipulate and non-consentually assault that person just because you like the feeling you are not mature enough to have sex now someone is a sociopath or a psychopath you're going to run into a lot of problems and that's why they have to create laws for people like that to give some sort of accountability to give some sort of recourse that you can be punished to let people know you are going to negotiate your sex or you should not be having sex oh it kills the spontaneity no it doesn't and if your spontaneity means like be a rapist then you prep once again it keeps coming back to the fact that this is not a fuzzy line yeah you have to talk about your sex because there's two people involved get the fuck over it or go get a pound of hamburger meat right yeah it's it's it's such a I it's it's one of those things that I can't understand why people do it like there's other things that we've talked about that is edgy or pushy that like I can kind of understand what this comes from but why what what it's so selfish to to just think of like I like it feels better or I like it like this so I'm gonna basically punish my partner for for not wanting to do it the way that I want to do it well I mean I can understand I can absolutely I'm a fucking animal I want to do everything that I want to do I can completely understand being selfish we're all fucking selfish at different levels where I can totally understand I am not going to take away your desire to not give a fuck about another human being because I have billions of humans that I don't give a fuck about but the reality is is that is an instinct that is a desire in a part of my brain that is underdeveloped and that's okay that that's there but the reality is is your action in real time needs to be respectful of a fact that there is another person and that their limits are of value to this society that's why they created a law to protect them when you don't care about them right but I get it I mean I understand sure I wish every fucking why I would fucking go up and literally every woman that I'm attracted to I would say lay down I'm going to fuck you now every single one and if they said well I guess you know you're the guy so I'll do it great but that's not how it works that's just not how it works in a working society right it works like that in nature with lions and fucking monkeys and shit but it's it's a rapey fucking you know we evolve from really rapey creatures mammals are fucking rapey yeah but we have evolved and we were talking about that on our discord server a little bit about how like we're we're one of the few you know mammals in general but creatures on this planet that actually worry about consent and and and like that's that's kind of important that's kind of something that we need to like pay attention to it's like that that's why we are who we are is because we we look at we've been able to look at people and be like you know what I'm not going to do that thing because you don't want me to like if you look at like it's everything it's like dolphins monkeys like insects even like they just like do the thing and because that's like that's what their biology says they should do yeah and there's not once again there's nothing wrong with that we developed a brain a part of our brain that other animals haven't developed yet and we can see a bigger picture and it helps us navigate our survival better and some of it's good because we consider other people and we develop compassion in some of these things more so than other mammals and insects but you know there's also a big default we're still incredibly selfish we still default to our emotions over logic 99% of us so there's still a lot of work to be done so this is a challenging time and that's why I go back to it's not it's not wrong to say that you have a desire to not care about somebody it's just if we're going to evolve as a species and hopefully become a better species and become a better society of people and grow stronger and healthier then we have to fight against some of those urges and realize that you can still have dirty fucking crazy wild bloody filthy objectifying tearing biting sacks you just need to talk about it a little bit first yeah like what it one thing that I've been noticing you know in my like growing a relationship that I've been talking to recently is like there's a lot of people that really want to do rough kinky disgusting things but like you got to talk about it first yeah I'm with you on that I'm with you on that I don't think it's a bad idea I mean it'll be interesting to see how many of these cases come up obviously if it's a civil case it means there's money involved so there's going to be polynial lawyers that are going to line up to take these cases because they know they're going to get settlements and whatever but ultimately as much of a pain in the ass as this legal process is going to be my hope is that it becomes so annoying that people are going to just realize you know what I don't want to go through that shit so if we have to fill out a paper before we have sex and say ooh we'll do this and we'll do that which we do in a dungeon sometimes we do that sometimes we do written negotiations to see what you're into and what you're not into why not what is it really is it really that big of a deal if it makes both people feel comfortable and you can get on to having your fucking fun sex I know I know several players that like really really enjoy having like a spreadsheet and having like this is or like a checklist of like this is what I like this is what I don't like what do you like what do you don't like so they have like a reference but like that doesn't deter their enjoyment of anything just make it about both of you and it'll probably work out okay I agree so what's the next one this next one's going to be a lot of fun you know knowing Bratty way of course this one comes from the website ericalust.com and it is entitled Brat VDSM everything you want to know about Brat's here we go I got to say though before you start the best article about Brat's I think I've ever read with things that I'm like finally somebody explained it to where I understand Brat's better oh it's a really well done article and if anybody wants to read these articles they are all listed on our preferred podcast based or FETLite group just look at up also I link them in our discord share fantastic let's go so the first rule of being a brat is that rules are meant to be broken to many of they are misunderstood they are a misunderstood group within the VDSM world but they do share a lot of the same traits as we would able as bratting in the outside world a brat is someone who enjoys being mischievous and cheeky to their partners some see this play and some see it as part of their complete identity and understanding the motivation of where your bratting is coming from helps communicate what kind of brat you are there are cool goes into some things that motivate brats to brat but I will be just touching on a few of them right now so many do it for the attention they like all eyes to be on them and they're chaos to be admired and with that chaos many are looking for someone to step in and tame them this is a form of punishments or punishments the ultimate consequence of their actions is part of the fun and if any brats are listening to this the writer Lola Jean is also a sex educator and runs a brat support group on meetup.com anybody would like to check with other brats I love it I love it get more ideas that's right yeah let's put all the fucking brats together so they can like connive together oh my god I have so many awful memories of putting more than one brat together and then you just you literally walk into the room and they're just like whispering his his his his his his his and then you walk in and you're like oh god and they give you that look and you know you just know it's going to be the longest night of your life yeah yeah but fun or the longest of theirs depending on where it goes absolutely but yeah that that's the article I really enjoyed it there there's also a lot of they do kind of like questions that you wouldn't want to ask your your submissive your brats they'll find out what kind of brat they are whether they're newer into the that thing of that strain of things or if they want they're wanting to get into bratting more like questions like how do you prefer receiving instruction or criticism like are they somebody who like they're a little bit more sensitive they've had some trauma and so maybe if you need to be critical maybe you need to set aside specific time do they prefer having very specific instructions or you can just give them general things it's it's that sort of thing you want to find out what kind of brat they are I had so much fun with this and the things that I mostly want to first state obviously what this article shows and from what we know from being around a lot of brats ourselves in real time is that there are so many different styles of bratiness oh yeah once again we talked about this years ago when brat first started really they took over the definition of brat to mean a spoiled shitty child and then it became the playful version of brat we know and now they're starting to really be able to make these definitions that help describe people's personalities that can really help you as a partner of a brat discover what kind of bratiness works for you and what absolutely doesn't because there are so many different styles of brats there are dominant brats there are the brats that are dominant brats that are on the bottom that they are basically bratting the quote unquote top until they get what they want out of them that is a dominant brat that is somebody who likes to bottom who likes to receive you know sensations or those types of things but knows exactly what they do they are absolutely in control of that relationship that is a type of brat and a lot of people don't know that that it's okay to be that it's okay to say I act as the top and I create these things but basically the brat is completely in control because what happens is a lot of people say well I'm not going to be controlled by the brat and I'm the dominant and whatever well that's your dynamic and that's your choice but it is okay to have a dynamic where the brat is actually in control of the dynamic there's nothing wrong with that but it's finding out specifically in like these questions that you talked about enigma that people can ask when you negotiate and you work through that that's how you discover if that dynamic is going to work with for you because if it doesn't then obviously you're not going to be able to continue a serious relationship with somebody like that the thing though that was one of my favorite things is when she talked about autonomy which I'm going to be honest I had to go look up I kind of knew autonomy meant independence or something like that or my thing but it really made sense when I started looking it up because it's independence or freedom from control until the top has shown they have a better plan which goes into what they talked about with the trust sometimes people are bratting at you because they want to test you to see if you're trustworthy because maybe they've had problems with other people in the classroom maybe they don't give up trust easy they don't like giving up that vulnerability because it can obviously hurt them so they do a lot of that colorful prodding to kind of see how you handle that can you handle me in the good times and the bad times or do you can only handle me when I just lay there and do everything that you want once again so many different dynamics but one of the things I thought about we thought autonomy and something they said that was really really key to if you're going to be in a relationship or play for long term with a brat is that autonomy giving them that independence and control in certain moments that satisfy their need for independence so you can then be in control in the other avenues and I'm like okay I have examples of this I have simple examples like when I was with bunny bunny of course could be very bratty both bunny and you and whoever the fuck I'm a brat magnet apparently but bunny was willing to submit in certain things that we did but you had to let her literally lead and be in control of blanket forts literally like she wanted a blanket forts her creativity how she created art the types of things that she did she had to lead and be in control you couldn't come in and be like we're gonna build this this because you know is your daddy little girl relationship there's a lot of fucking blanket forts okay so I knew that though that was something to literally she would literally just like not be able to handle not being in control that she had to handle every point every she built amazing amazing spherical recognition fucking like literally she was like a little engineer in her mind to make these amazing blanket forts and as long as you let her have control of certain things it built that confidence and gave her kind of the freedom like the give and take to then give up control in some of the other things and of course in some of the more serious things and that was something that I never really had a word for I just knew there was some things that you don't push there was some things you're like alright you got to give them a little give them a little authority give them a little you're in charge of this and then that would sort of you know blend you know balance out the equation right or like it could be cleaning like maybe they like they want to do some service for you and and then and then the play can happen and then the bratting can happen but like you know I totally like you need you need to allow or help your your partner find their niche and find what what gives them fulfillment and then the play can happen sure I mean that goes back to the communication like it's like talking with your partner and figuring out what y'all like that that's what's gonna make it fun just being a brat to be an asshole that's not gonna be fun yeah it's not I'm sure not into that it's not that's not what I'm gonna do so I definitely agree absolutely and I was just thinking of other things because I'm like oh you let her build a blanket for it aren't you just like so good I'm like sounded kind of douchey other things that they were also in control like especially meu I didn't try to control meu was me both meu and bunny were both intellectually smarter than me just a fact I may have a lot of experience and have the gift of Gab and be gregarious and have a lot of philosophical and street smarts but intellectually they were both smarter than me grammatically in that types of things and so I never challenged that I allowed myself to learn things from them and I would ask them questions about things and they would explain things to me and that also made them feel very independent even in the ddlg dynamic that there were things that I allowed them I didn't try to come in and control especially because I wasn't smarter so it was a fun experience so like they would learn philosophical and life skills from me but I would learn a lot of you know medical knowledge science things grammar how to write you know different things that they did so I think it should be more than just you know oh you're you can build a blanket for it yeah well and that I think that's a healthy relationship like they're supposed to be give and take I think that's why we talk about how yes if in a ds dynamic or even an ms dynamic like yes somebody is technically in charge but they're in charge because the other person put them in charge yeah yeah that happened yeah yeah they're allowed to happen they're giving the control which means they can take that control back and I think once you understand and can appreciate that I think a lot more doors open for you right once again just like with the last topic it's it's a team it's a team and there's there's the coach and then the different coaching staff and then and then the team and if you work together as a team you're going to win a lot more games right with your partner if you try to control everything and you don't allow a person to even exist as a person now then some people want that not denying that the majority of people I've ever been with or played with do not want to just be your mindless format that does and I don't want to be with a doormat I want to be with somebody that has a brain and has independence and can think they're on and teach me fucking something like what the fuck man I'm not here for fucking you know I mean of course I want you to let me to be able to put my cock in all your holes but right of course you know but but yeah no if if they're if you're working as a team with your partners you're going to just discover a lot of stuff and find out what works and maybe some things that don't I agree and Sigma two fantastic topics thank you thank you very very good research you are the magic man in finding this if our pervertive podcast listeners want to find us on the onlines what would they does well they does go to FET Life you can look up a bit of podcast there's both a group in a page you can find us on Twitter just search perverted PCAST and you can find us on Instagram just search pervertive podcast double whoa whoa on behalf of Solaris whoa that is the end of show 333 in all the excitement I forgot to record the ending of the show with our guest host lady Solaris but we would like to thank lady Solaris for guest hosting and then of course the wondrous enigma for stepping in with some amazing comments of course as a reminder always a super huge thank you to headley our show sponsor and all of our patrons who support the show if you'd like to join us on our patreon page maybe get five bucks if you give a fuck please go to patreon.com slash perverted podcast and check out supporting us there an amazing show some bad news but you know what ultimately fuck it man there is a mission and we move forward with that mission all the other shit will work itself out I hope it does and if not fuck them fuck them anyway we got more show coming up for you next week and I love you guys thank you so much for being the one thing that just keeps me going through all this I do do really appreciate you being here listening and we will see you guys next week if you let a dog lick your balls tomorrow you might feel strange if you get drunk at a party and let nine guys pound your food tomorrow you might feel strange sometimes impulsive fantasy really lame reality if you get caught jacking off into your step mom's underwear tomorrow you might feel strange if you go to the emergency room to get an object removed from your ass tomorrow you might feel strange sometimes impulsive fantasies and reality i'll your homey hall is their game it's dangerous to let your crush and in place your brain oh my ro it's my or your job family or other personal relationships not saying it's better moral as long as you're not hurting someone else and it's a munkencenting adults it's all good just saying think about it first okay thank you if you put on women's clothes and ask a cop for a cavity search tomorrow he might feel strange if the video of you sucking dick lines up on the internet tomorrow you might feel strange sometimes impulsive fantasies make irreversible consequences make in reality