334: When you want to control the outcome

In todays episode, Betsy talks about a big lesson she’s learning right now and how trying to control an outcome isn’t the way to peace! She shares how life is gracious enough to show her a new way and how she’s experiencing the disappointment in all of that. This episode is great if you haven’t been getting what you want and need a new prespective. transcript: Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big Hello, everyone, welcome to The Art of Living big. I am, I’m doing the world’s shortest show today. And this show is simply to tell you that I am not feeling well I have been sick for I guess, since probably Saturday. And I just have a terrible cold, it’s nothing else I don’t have a fever, I don’t have body aches, but my head is just so stuffed up. And I’m just really miserable, you know, those colds that just seem to hang on. And here’s the thing that stinks so much about it is that this week, I was supposed to go to the beach, I was supposed to leave on Wednesday and go down to Florida. I haven’t seen my dad in two years. And I was gonna go down and see my dad and I got a hotel right on the ocean. So that I could just take in some of those waves and meditate and really just fill my cup. So this cold really derailed that I’m hoping maybe I can just move it back a week, maybe I can go next week. But I’ve been dealing with disappointment, you know, with like, second guessing myself feeling badly, because I had my dad save time on his calendar after all this time. And just really feeling sorry for myself in a lot of ways. And so I thought I would just come on and tell you what’s going on and then tell you sort of what I’m doing about all of that. I mean, besides the cold and like dealing with all the cold, which actually right now I sound so good. Like I have not had a voice in days. And so, you know, I’ve been dealing with like my health stuff, neti, potting, and you know, all of those things, which have been really helpful. But then also there’s this like, it is difficult to rest. Have you ever had that where you’re like, I have so much to do. And there’s so much that I want to do, like, I don’t want to be here laying in bed, and having to force myself to rest and to give myself space to heal has been really hard. And in fact, there was one day well, it was yesterday, were two nights ago at night, I was like, I’m gonna feel better tomorrow, I have all these things to do. And when I woke up, I felt worse. And I thought there is lessons and everything. And there is a lesson in this, in that there are times where we just have to rest. And even though there’s like a fear of whatever’s going to happen on the other side, like if we don’t do the thing, this is going to happen, you know, if we don’t stay busy, if we don’t achieve achieve, or whatever it is. There’s also something like maybe there is something that needs to be in the cosmic crock pot during rest, you know, sometimes I get my best ideas when I’m sick, or when I’m forced to not be busy, right? Because sometimes we can be busy just to be like spinning our wheels to like busy work making us feel like we’re getting somewhere. And I think for me, this whole year has been Wow, just like so many lessons, not how I expected this year to go so far. And so this sort of makes sense. Of course. And I’m learning to just like except it to just relax, and say I’m not controlling all of this. And I’m gonna let this go the way that it’s supposed to go. You know, if you guys have been here for any amount of time, you’ve heard me talk about how I want to move to the beach like desperately right want to move to the beach. And then there’s been times where I’m like, I don’t know that I really do want to move to the beach. It has been such a back and forth. And then we sold our house a little over two years ago and thought we could live here a year figure out where we want to go and I’m going to be honest, I still don’t know. Sometimes I want to live out in the middle of the country and have no neighbors sometimes I want to live in a condo in the city. Like it’s been the most dis indecisive thing probably of my life like I have always been. It’s been pretty easy, you know, to make decisions and and I always figure if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just change my mind. And for whatever reason. This has been a challenge. Now, there’s lots of other things that leak into it right because my husband has to work in a state he’s an attorney. So he has to work in a state where He’s licensed, right? Or he has to retake the bar, which after so many years, since he’s taking the bar, I don’t think that sounds very appetizing to him. And my daughter lives here. So about three weeks ago, my daughter came to me and she, she really wants to have a career as a piercer, so that she’s super into the culture of piercing. The history of piercing like she really loves it. And she wants to work at a piercing studio and be a piercer. A lot of her friends are piercers. And so she was out hiking with them in about three weeks ago, and one of them works at a piercing studio in Savannah, Georgia. Now I live in Atlanta, Savannah, Georgia is near the ocean. So she came to me and said they offered me a job. And I think I might take it. Now. Can I just tell you the delight that I felt that day? I was like, oh my god, it’s happening. It’s happening. Like, I’m gonna get to move to the beach because she’s at the beach. And that’s still Georgia. And then my husband can work in Georgia. Like, I just was like, Oh, my God, I never ever would have thought it would have happened like this, you know? And so then I started controlling it all. Okay, well, this is what we’re gonna do. Next week, I’ll bring you the hair. And you’ll check it out. And like, well look for part like, like, I had a plan. I messaged my husband, this is what you have to do. Like, I started controlling it all. And within like two days, she’s like, I’m not going. I was like, what, what are you talking about? And she was like, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to move. I don’t want to leave. Like I have a support system here. I like it here. I have friends here, which totally makes sense. All of that makes sense. And I thought to myself, I was controlling it. Right? It flowed to me. And instead of allowing it to flow, I grabbed it by the neck, and was like, oh my god, I’m gonna make this happen. This is the opportunity. But maybe that was a step. Right? That was just a step. And then the next thing will come from that step. You know, sometimes you have to get an idea, before you warm up to it. Like you have to have it a couple times, or things have to come your way. Maybe that was just one of those things. And so this week is I have been just like trying to chill out with this cold. I mean, I’m just like, I’m trying to I went for a walk yesterday with my dog, like, I just was like, let me get out. Let me do things a little different today, right after this, I’m gonna go up to the roof. And just right up on the roof and get some fresh air, it’s been like close to 80 degrees here in Atlanta. And like, just stop trying to control everything, you know. And like, then maybe that’s my lesson in this season. As I have been trying to like control everything this year to make it go in the way that I thought it was supposed to go. So that I could get this outcome that I want. But maybe I have to just be present in every day. Maybe I need to just take my own advice. Be present in every day, do the things that feel good. And every day, instead of like the push on the hustle and the trying to like figure things out. So lessons in my cold and my in my in my slowness this week. And so I wanted to share it with you. In case maybe that gave you a perspective on your life too. I will get to the beach, I will get well. I will figure all the things out when it’s time. Not my time. But when it is time. Until then I will just remain present and aware. And I think that’s how you live a big life. All right, y’all stay healthy. I love you all so much. I’ll see you next week. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.