Who did God help me? He's the king of the Gies. One point he's a sponsor. We belong his testicles.
He supports the show. In there. Ah, you are ladies and lorres. You are ladies and lorres.
You keep doing it. I am ladies and lorres. I am ladies and lorres. Hello, Solaris.
How are you doing? I am doing fantastic boogie. How are you doing? I'm doing great.
Let me push this. I got so excited to talk to you. I forgot. Oh, yeah.
We have like, you know, we got to play the show, jingle and stuff. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.
One, two, three, four. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? I'm a very mad cat. Scared that your desires might be strange?
I'm a very mad cat. Come and join the kinky world of play. I'm a very mad cat. Yay!
You're not yang and wooing. Yay! Hahaha. Ah, hello and welcome to perverted podcast.
The show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind. You are ladies and lorres. Where are you? You at home?
Of course. I'm at home in my closet again. I like how I ask people now. Are you at home?
Like, yeah, I'm the only fucking idiot that lives in a car. So yes, you're most likely at home. Unless of course you decided to go to, wouldn't that be a cool switch though? Like one day, why don't I go to your house with Psycho Puppy and record.
And then Kala will come in and look me in the eye and know the like, how sweetie. And he'll just like slowly close the door. Text you. Huh?
Where are you? You're like, I don't know. And fucking Starbucks and some shitty jammy. It'd be funny, but probably slightly awkward.
I hear you're very excited about a class that you have coming up at a place that we won't mention, but it's at that place that we don't mention. Yes. On November 13th, I am going to do a Fireplay 101 class. So if you want more info on that, just go to ladiesalars.com.
That is going to be fun. So now are you just teaching the basics of Fireplay? Are you going to do a workshop and light things on fire? So I do have a demo bottom.
It is the basics of the basics. So a lot of safety. I am going to teach people how to make their own fire batons, like disposable ones. Nice.
With that party tissue paper that you get at the party stores, right? Just wrap that up, dip it in gasoline and then light it and just flick it at someone. That's what you're going to do. No, that's not what I'm going to do.
Okay, good. No, you need to come to the class. You need to come for the safety portion. I can't come to the class, ladiesalars.
Well, I will record the safety portion of the class. I have taught Fireplay class and it is wonderful when you scare. I don't know about you, but I brought pictures of burns, like first, second, and third-degree burns. And I passed them out and I said, and I put them on a giant screen.
Yeah, well, I just passed out. I made a laminate because I was really into lamination back then. Yes. And I said, if you can't look at this, then you shouldn't do Fireplay.
Because this is a risk that you have. But I'm sure you'll probably be able to really make nobody played with Fire that night at the club. It was great. Like I scared everyone so bad in the class that nobody played with Fire.
I don't know if that was the goal, but your class will probably be a little nicer. Yeah, not really the exact goal, but safety is definitely heavy. And for me, this is very, very basic. And I know sometimes people that want to learn more than the basics come to the basics class, but this is literally 101.
Well, I mean, something like Fireplay. I mean, that is an extreme edge plane. Of course, if you take all the precautions, the procrottads, you take all the procrottads, clicky, clicky, if you take all the precautions and you have your wet towel and, you know, a spotter, if you need all those things that you need, of course, you can absolutely minimize the risk. And that is, and that's what makes it fun.
But it is still an edge play. So you can't ignore all those little things because there's like a million things in that type of play that can go bad. Well, correct. And I think one of the top number one things is the person that is doing the Fireplay cannot be afraid of fire.
You know, you would think. Well, I say that based on experience of some people that have wanted to learn how to do Fireplay. And I'm like, okay, so you know, you have to put the person out with your arm, right? And they're like, no, like, yes, that tends to be a motion that you utilize a lot.
And if you are not comfortable putting your arm on that fire to knock it out, this is not the right form of play for you. Yeah, yeah, I did. I love how now we're like all like Fireplay training, you know, bros now, because it's like, when I did the, you know, when I taught, I made people play with fire, like I literally put you, you know, I don't know what the you use, but I use the 70% isopropyl alcohol. Me too.
Okay, good. Because that's 30% water in it, you know, and it blows out really easy. But still, I literally had a big board and I had a little bit of, in a aluminum foil thing, lit it on fire and turned it upside down and said, you have an emergency, put it out. And then they would find out real quick how their fear of fire worked.
It was really cool. Good job. Yeah. It's a super fun one.
I think it's one that's needed because it's not one that can be taught in like a Zoom class. It's one where you really need to be in person in order to kind of see and be able to talk to the educator and be able to like visually see what's going on in a very delicate way. I agree. That is, that is definitely your first choice.
Obviously, if you're in, you know, some rural area in Scotland or something with mountains and and some cows roaming around, you may have to, you know, resort to other methods. Yeah, the way I would recommend and that's the thing is what I would recommend is if you do see classes like that online, see if you would contact the educator and ask more of your questions. Maybe see if the educator would be willing to give you 15 minutes, 20 minutes of their time on Zoom so that they can more easily demonstrate something to you. Because I know a lot of classes are now going hybrid and it's very hard to see somebody doing something that is very intricate from far away.
And that's what I know a lot of hybrid classes are currently doing. Obviously, our technology is getting better, but you know, there's constriction there for a lot of organizations right now. There is, well I'm glad you're out there teaching it because it is an important thing to teach. And it is an amazing type of play that I wish I could be doing right now.
But I mean, I can, you know, like myself on fire in the car. I used to do that. That used to be how I would, that's how I learned fire play is I was, Me too. When I was living in my car, but.
Well, I mean, I was at the time, I've lived in my car many times in my life. And I was in a van and when it was cold, I would fill a tray with the isopropyl alcohol and then light it to heat up. And so then of course, you know, I was a drunk at the time. So I would just play in the fire and whatever.
And then I would learn how to knock it out and how long the tempo was of the fire. And when it would start to burn you and when you knocked it over onto your sandals and let your sandals on fire and I learned all these wonderful things by myself, drunk in the car. And so I did that for three years before I ever touched another person with it. So I felt pretty competent by the time that I got into it.
But enough about the magic of fire, but you know, it's really important, ladies, Salaris. What? Pokemon go. Really?
You're still into that? Yes. I feel into that. Okay.
Here's the thing. I'm not as into it now. I am now and I've for four weeks, I keep forgetting to say this because I have a lot like nobody wants to admit it out loud, but I get so many emails from perverted podcast listeners that are like, Hey, dude, here's my friend code. We be buddies on Pokemon go.
And I'm like, yay. So what I'm doing now, because now that I'm doing the radio show and all this and working so hard on the podcast and trying to pull it together, I really don't have time to play that game anymore. Because it really was there to like keep me sane when I didn't have anything to do and it did its job. But I don't need 13 accounts.
So if you are a perverted podcast listener that secretly would not admit to playing Pokemon go and you want a count boogie, worked on Pokemon go, account, email me at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com and let me know that you want to adopt one of my accounts. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, then it doesn't matter to you. But if you know what I'm talking about, you know, I'm giving away like four or five of these accounts that I've worked and there's all sorts of hundos and shinies and things that are really valuable to people that play that game. And you can also know it's something that's personal to me.
I spend a lot of hours on each of these wondering the earth getting this shit. So I think it'd be kind of fun if I had some listeners adopt these accounts, so then they could have a part of me that's with them or they'll just farm out all the fucking shit that they want out of it. Just don't tell me that pretend you're adopting it. Some of these, like one of them's like a level 38 with like shiny groutons and all sorts of things.
So, you know, just there, there's my plug pervertedpodcast gmail.com. So today we're going to talk a little bit about how to stop comparing yourself to others so you can find your kinky joy. So comparing yourself to others, what does that entail? Like, because I don't compare myself to, oh yes, I do.
I do that constantly, actually. I think we all constantly do it. And I want to sit here and kind of get, well, you and I, because you're going to contribute to the conversation. We're going to give the listeners some really good tools to try to help to spark their creativity, have compassion towards themselves, and to be able to live out their kinky joy to the fullest.
And now then where this came from? This all started with a book, right? Or you're getting to that. Yeah.
So the last conversation that we had a couple episodes ago, I brought up the book of Brane Brown and her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, which I believe was released in 2010. So it's been a really long time since I've known about it. And I kind of, after the podcast, you and I sat and talked, and I told you more about Brane Brown and a lot of the research that she's done because she's a psychologist and she researches shame and vulnerability. And we thought that some of the topics actually might be good because there's a lot of people that sometimes have difficulty in kink.
And we want to be able to get through that together. I think so. I watch both of her TED Talk videos. So what's her name again?
Brane Brown, right? Or Branee, whatever. Correct. Yeah, Branee Brown.
Whatever. She's amazing. Texas woman, really funny and real articulate and breaks down her information so well. It was so enjoyable.
Go to TED, teed.com and look her up and watch. She has two videos on there. One's like 55 million views, the first one that she did where she talked. Which I think is called the power of vulnerability.
Yes, the power of vulnerability. And then of course the other one is, I think, dealing with shame. And so Solaris and I talked about dealing with that in regards to some of the things in her book. And so you want to go ahead with all of you.
Yeah, so they're broken. Yeah, they're broken up into multiple sections. And some of the ones that we thought might be helpful at first are the first one. Cultivating play and rest.
So it's really the ability to let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth. Oh my god. And this one hits home with, I think, everybody. And we all talk about it.
Like it's underlying. You can feel it in the culture. It's bubbling up right now. More people are opening up about this topic.
But I still don't think that as individuals we're doing very much about it. I totally agree. I mean, it took me a while to really absorb that. Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.
I think conceptually we need to understand that working ourselves to death is bad for us and can cause all sorts of autoimmune disease and early death and heart. And just we know that working too hard and not taking that time to play and rest is bad for you. I think we get it conceptually. But we don't understand it on the level that we believe we deserve it.
Does that make sense? Correct. And that's one of the core things of it. And that's where that you feel guilty.
That you want to go to this PBS M kink event instead of going to see your family for the 20th time that year for some dinner that you're having. Right. Right. And it's just, I mean, a lot of us, when we talk about deserving it, see, that's where the shame part of this comes in.
And I know we're talking mostly about kinky playing rest. But the shame for me is the thing that stops me when I talk about deserving it. It's obviously if you have self-worth issues and you've been programmed that you have to work hard and get home and the right car and the right clothes and all this things. And that's what you've been programmed as your value.
It's really hard to think about deserving rest or deserving play. I mean, it's not just like you need it, like a vitamin or getting your teeth clean, but that actually you deserve to have a moment of peaceful rest each and every day. And that that is, in a sense, more valuable than some of the bullshit that we've been programmed to keep striving for. Does that make sense?
Totally. I mean, I'm there too. There's especially as somebody with disability. Because the American society in particular has put forth that you must be productive in order to be valuable in society.
Right. That you must not have any sort of play in order to succeed in life. That you can't have fun and do things in your life, but also be able to advance in your career or do whatever the heck that you want to do. Having disability for me personally definitely puts me in that situation a lot.
Because the weight of society on me in order for me to prove my worth to society, I feel like I have to be productive. Then that's when the guilt and the shame starts to come in, because it feels like there's no room for anything else. When in actuality, we could change our thinking. And like you said earlier, believe that we deserve to have fun and to rest.
And I love that you said that because I absolutely agree with that. And then all the time I spent like, I mean, we've had like three conversations and I was, how am I going to address this? And what I learned is before you can value your, I guess we'll call it like your rest time and play time, but in physiologically, it's called homeostasis. You have, we all know what it's like to live in fight or flight.
And it's just tension, grind, grind, kids, family, work, struggle, blah, blah, blah, you know, abuse, negative drama, gaslighting, bad relationships, all of these things that keep us in that fight or flight mode. If we don't have that moment of homeostasis where our body can actually physically recover, that's where all the bad shit happens. But you may have to mentally disengage all of that programming, which means you actually have to reconsider what you consider valuable in order to be able to believe you deserve to rest. You may have to go into what is value to me.
Is it the house? Is it the job or my kids in a private school? All these things that were told that make us better people in society like you talked about? Or is it something bigger?
Is it happiness? Is it a sense of well-being? Because let me tell you, I've been around a lot of millionaires. I've been around a lot of people with a lot of money.
And I've known more people who have become happier seeking less than I have people that are working themselves to death for more. Because you have to at some point realize that once you attain some of those things that you think you're supposed to get because commercially you're told that, then you have to maintain it. You're not going to get people who are like, oh, well, they make those excuses. They're like, oh, well, I'll rest once I achieve this or once I finish school or once I get this house or I get married or I have the kids and then the kids are, no matter what you achieve, the more you achieve, the more you have to maintain it.
If you get a car, you get a brand new car and it gets a ding in it, you got to go make 1,500 bucks to pay the goddamn deductible, which means you got to go work more. If your house gets termites or has a roof or a heater blows up or any number of a million things that you have to do to maintain the thing, the external thing that you think is valuable is going to rip you away from any chance of letting go into those moments of restful peace. Does that make sense? It does make sense.
And bringing that kind of back around, considering around the perverted podcast to the kink lifestyle, that's where I think you can begin to give yourself a little bit of time. I know that there's a lot of listeners that maybe don't have a community that's super close to them, but even giving yourself a couple minutes to find a Discord server where you can chat with other kinky people to be able to connect to community, to be able to rest your brain, to not have to think about that grind, to be just be in the moment. I mean, that's one of the most glorious things about the play exchange between people is the fact that you have to be in the moment in order for it to be successful, in my opinion. For me, at least that internal monologue of I must do this, that the other thing, blah, blah, blah.
It's like, no, I must be meditative and in the moment, and I must enjoy what is happening now and just have fun. I like how you said, and Dr. Brown said this in her thing, where she talked about the most important thing and the human experience isn't what you acquire, it's connection. And it's that connection, not just to yourself and the planet that you're a part of, but to other people, which of course, for someone like me who's in constant fight or flight, I don't trust anybody.
I built up all of these things because of all this guilt and shame and I don't deserve this, and I'm not good enough for this. All of that stuff just robs me of that ability to have real connections with people. And so I have to devalue, I have to literally change my value. I got to make the show do this and I got to make the radio do this and then I've done all these different things.
But at some point, the times when I'm happiest is when I realize, you know, working hard is great. There's nothing wrong with working hard and having goals and moving towards those. But at some point, if that becomes your whole life and you're not building connections with people and you're not building that relationship with yourself, then you're literally just a zombie. And you're going to die miserable.
Like I've seen a lot of people die unhappy and I don't want to be that. So I have to figure out how to deprogram all this shit. Well, one thing that you can start with is you don't ever have to do the perverted podcast. You get to do the perverted podcast.
You get to do these things that you're super passionate about. You get to reach people. You get to do that. And just a slight change in thinking might help with a tiny baby step there.
It's something that simple. I totally agree. In regards to the podcast, I'm closer than I think with anything because I really do get joy out of doing the podcast and that shit because it really is my study time, like all of these hours. I was a little stressed about this one because it was coming from different places and I was helping people with other segments that we're going to do and I'm kind of stressed.
But in general, that time when I'm looking over these topics and I'm getting into it, I know I'm learning. I know I'm learning and absorbing and then I get to kind of blurted out. And so in a sense, I totally agree. But surely I have other areas that I need to significantly improve on.
Because I mean, I don't know. Yes. But I'm talking about me here because I deserve to rest and play. And that moves us, I guess, into you also deserve creativity.
In terms of cultivating creativity in our lives, particularly in the PDF, some space, I know personally I compare myself to a lot of people and I've done that for over a decade because I've been in the lifestyle very, very long time. And in the beginning, when I first came in as a female dominant, I did not come in as a slave, as a submissive, which was very unusual at the time that I came into the lifestyle. I was kind of told, well, you have to do this, you have to do that, you, you need to do it this way, you need to do it that way, you need to conform, you need to to do it the way that it has been done. And I tried for many, many, many, many years to do it, quote, the way it has been done.
Well, I have fucking disabilities and trying to conform completely swashed my creativity. I stopped, I kept trying to do what other people were telling me that I should do. And I was trying to compete with all of these other dominance, when I felt like I didn't have a full chest of tools. And it wasn't until I finally came to the realization that screw this conforming thing, I need to be able to figure out ways for me to practice BDSM in the ways that I want without the, without the conformity that I have been told by all of these other people who have been in BDSM for much longer.
Here, here, and you would think that it wouldn't be like that. But it really is because once you bring it in with you, like there was things I brought in with me. And I got a lot of kickback when I came into the lifestyle, because I'm like, oh, I want to beat people with teddy bears and make Bible battles and and do stuff. And people like, you know, some most people were pretty supportive, but there were those people that are like, it's not the way it's done.
But you also have to have a certain level of value that I don't, I mean, I'm kind of the, I hate to use it where nonconform is because that sure turned into a big fucking piece of shit phrase. But I really have never been someone to conform, but it doesn't mean I still don't have pressures. It still doesn't mean that I don't fear doing something wrong. And that's part of the shame programming, like, oh, I'm going to fuck this up.
I'm going to hurt somebody. I'm going to do something wrong. I don't have a lot of skills with this. So yeah, I can make a teddy bear blogger and do something fun and original, but am I good enough to be a top?
Am I good enough to take responsibility for another human's whole body and mind in this place scene? And I really had to work on that value that I had for myself before I could then proceed. But once I did that and I said, I don't have to be the best dominant. I don't have to have the best vlogger skills or whip skills.
I just shouldn't try to do what I am not capable of doing. Does that make sense? Yeah, you know, I'm going to stay in my court, but then I can then use my creativity to where maybe I've never been great at rope. I've never surely not suspension rope or any of the amazing things that people spend years to learn how to do.
But I can do some basic cuffs. I can do a basic harness. I can definitely put someone's hands behind their back so I could bend them over and then do other things that I am capable of doing. And that's where the creativity starts to come in, just like you with your disabilities.
You're like, okay, I can do this physically. Now that I've given my self permission to be my own player, then all of a sudden creativity becomes a lot easier. And it's critically important in the lifestyle, because we do have so many different people that want to do so many different things. And there's some incredibly creative people who come up with some really cool shit.
And I have seen really interesting scenes that have been thought about for months and months and planned out. And the creativity is flowing. But because we keep comparing ourselves against porn, we compare ourselves against people we see in a dungeon, we compare ourselves against people we see on Instagram, on Twitter, on Reddit, that it starts to kind of squash that creativity because we keep comparing ourselves. As as it said in Briney Prone's book, comparison is the thief of happiness.
Absolutely. I'm going to tell a truth. And one of the best scenes, surely, obviously, it must be one of the best scenes because it's one of the most memorable. I think I showed this, shared this on the show once before at that dumpy piece of shit club that I used to go to.
I used to teach orientation. And then I used to also sometimes teach orientation at one of the parties. And a situation just like we talked about coming, I would teach, you know, here's the basics, you know, consent and don't touch and you know, all the basic orientation stuff. But then we also taught a little bit about spanking, you know, just some of the basics, just, you know, get, get you started, get you warmed up.
And these two women came up, two younger women, and they were like, we don't know what to do. We can't do, you know, even the simple stuff you showed, we can't do it. And so they were, you know, they were kind of voicing that insecurity and that they couldn't live up to something, you know, that they had in their head that they thought they were supposed to do before they could play. And I'm like, look, you have teeth, you have fingernails, you have your hand here.
Look, you know, we looked at just cup your hand like this, hit there, there, scratch the back here and then just work with each other and want each other. Just have intention to enjoy each other. That's the only skill you need to know is just have that intention. Can you do that?
And they looked at each other and they're like, yeah. And they went into a room and Solaris, they fucking had one of the best, happiest, hottest, intent with each other scenes that I've ever seen. Like I walked by like three or four times and I looked and they were into it and I remember once the person who was on top looks at me and she like, I'm doing okay. And I'm like, thumbs up, you're fucking rocking.
And they were so happy. They were so in the moment doing just what they could with each other. And it was so powerful because the joy that they were able to connection, the human experience they were able to have without having any major big fancy pants, bullshit skills, they were still able to just be present with one another. And that is worth 700 fucking great whip placines with fancy pants, double handed back behind, whip a can and half and fucking, you know, tie your shoes while you're spanking someone.
That shit's fun. But I think we just push ourselves so much that we forget that it's about the connection. 100%. I think what a lot of people, especially if you're going into a dungeon space for the first time or starting to be around other people that kind of share your same kinks, you're just starting to get out into the community, you're starting to see people play.
We all started in our freaking bedrooms hitting two pillows with a freaking clogger. I had a, I had a, I had a weight bench, one of those like little ones you lay on with dumbbells. And I stood it up. And I do aftercare on it too.
I practice hitting it in the right spot, I just towel over it. And then I would rub it after. Yeah, that's the thing is people all forget that we all started there. You're just not seeing that because we've been doing it for like over a decade.
Right, right? Absolutely. So we're all there. And that's the thing is we're, we all still feel that same way, I think in some circumstances that that feeling of, am I doing this right?
Is it correct? Does the person like it? You know, and again, you're squashing your ability to really enjoy, as you said, the interaction with the other person that that is the basis of BDSM. It's, it's not crazy to like BDSM activities.
It's not, it's not disgusting. It's not religiously wrong because you just want to connect with another person. We just happen to be doing it in slightly different ways. A very sexy goddamn way.
Very sexy, very creative. Very creative. I mean, very creative. Like, come on, you can have sex and you can have sex and you can have sex, like in penis and vagina sex is more what I'm talking about.
Sure. With BDSM, there is like so many different things that we can do where if, because I know some people with BDSM do not involve sexual activity with their play, but if you are having a scene that is more sexually charged, you really have to kind of be creative and you can literally like have 500 different scenes with the same object in different ways, as opposed to just, you know, penis and vagina missionary position. But once again, if you don't, if you are hearing that voice of shame, that voice of control, that voice of I'm not good enough, which once again, and I think Dr. Brown said in her video, the majority, 99% of those voices aren't actual humans.
It's just you. It's literally you've seen things and then you've created, I sure that's what it is for me, that 99% of that guilt and shame voice is you collecting a bunch of things that you think you don't live up to. And you're telling that, but once you can start disengaging that voice and it doesn't have to be a big thing, like, Mew is a perfect example. Mew is so excited this week.
She finished another block of med school. She's over halfway through her second year. She has passed every class and she waits for the week after she passes because then she gets a little free time. She still has to study.
She's not doing 16 hours a day, but like literally just her 20 minutes of fucking playing Minecraft is the like that is her moment that she's like, I earn this. I deserve this. She has so what she has such a wonderful example of being able to say, I deserve this moment. And even when she's doing all that study in 16 hours a day, she'll take, you know, once or twice a week, she'll go play Frisbee golf and she could of course be studying and working harder to move ahead and go, go, go, go.
But she has a great self awareness that she understands. If I do that, I'll die. I deserve that moment. So whether you have kids and work and school or whatever, you have to find value in some moment, even if it's 10 minutes where you're like, I'm going to sit down and read my book, not somebody else's book, not a study book.
This is my book for entertainment or you're going to draw a picture or you're going to, you know, do something. You're going to do a skincare routine. That's what I do. Oh, absolutely.
Oh, absolutely. Because you're touching yourself, you're taking care of yourself, you're doing something that makes you feel better about yourself. There, it doesn't have to be a two week vacation. That'd be great if you could get a two week vacation.
But as long as you make sure that your rest is something that you do for any amount of time on a regular basis, it's going to make a huge difference in your life, like fingering your people. Yeah, if that's what you want to do, you should do it. Just just finger. I the other day, I'll be honest, I sat in storage and I put on my penis pump because I like the pressure.
It doesn't make me it's not it's not almost not sexual, but it just it feels like a pressure and I just sit there and I just like it. So I'm like, fuck you. So I shouldn't be saying that so loud in the library, but just hanging on storage, my penis pump on and I'm like, Hey, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. And I'm just like, I like that pressure.
I like that pressure. Penis, remember when I used to use you more often? Those were the good old days. But just do something for yourself.
This was a great topic. I hope we didn't butcher it too bad, but I'm sure we probably did, but it was still good. Okay, there's me judging myself. Yeah, exactly.
Stop it. Whatever. People will judge you for you. Yeah, the people listening around.
No, no, no, you should judge yourself. You kind of do suck. That was great. That was fantastic.
Yeah, so just take a little time, you guys, to take care of yourself, to rest, to allow a space for creativity and reach out to your local community because there's probably a ton of other people that feel exactly the same way that you do. I am younger. I'm in sash. I'm in sash.
I will need you to go. Oh, hello, Lord Unger. It's very lovely that you could join us today. Hey, who do you think I'm cooking?
It is wonderful to hear you. Of course, you are so prim and proper today. Oh, oh, it's good to hear you. We are the two least proper people on the face of God's green, God damn earth.
And that's even being atheist. Oh, dear Christ in heaven. Why? Look at me.
I'm all fucking Jesus now today. I don't know. What's the deal? I don't know.
I'm giving my soul to Jesus. You refined the Lord and Savior? That's what I'm reconverting. I'm deconverting and reconverting.
Well, because I heard he gives good head. So I'm kind of lonely and you get weird when you're when you're single and not having play with anyone for a while. So you start considering freaky stuff that you're like, wow, I must be lonely. I'm familiar with this feeling.
Getting a blow job from Jesus. I know. I know. It sounds like a website you can start and possibly make money off of.
Probably. Probably might get a little bit of pushback though. Just thinking, maybe do I need any more fights? But that's that's free advertising.
Yeah, but do I really need any more fights and trauma in my life and trying to keep it to one at a time, I think. Just one just one fight the time. Yeah, get through the current one and then move on to move this one at a later time. That sounds like good advice.
Hungry. You just finished your event. That was Saturday, right? It was Saturday.
We had our second event as a group because we didn't like the other groups and took your advice. So how was the event? Tell me about the event. So we instead of doing a munch where you go to a restaurant and sit down and chat, we did what we called a gathering because we couldn't think of a better thing.
We went to the farmer's market as a group and wandered around and people broke off into new and groups with new friends and met back together with other groups with new friends and lots of new friends were made due to the surroundings. We didn't talk a lot about kink, which is fine. But we were like, hey, we're all kinky folk. Now we've met.
We can go from here on our own to. Buying vegetables. Yeah, stupid. Buying vegetables and find a place that's a little more suitable to be kinky together.
But also, hey, you've never even been to an event before. We had one person never into an event. Didn't even want to send a message to the group and didn't even want to acknowledge that there are as we came to the event. Sure.
And it was like, great, show up. And they walked up and said, hey, balloons, you must be them. We're like, we're them. And we went on throughout the day and had a fantastic time with them.
That is great. So yeah, it was it was great. We spent a good three hours wandering the farmer's market, getting food, getting pumpkins for Halloween. Were there any Chinese egg plants?
You know what? Unfortunately, the overall selection this particular week was rather small. The pumpkins took a large portion of the produce. To be considered this time of year.
There were a lot of also zucchini and summer squash. Now you're starting to talk. Now you're starting in circles. But I didn't see much else beyond that.
Well, goddamn it. I did. If you're into chemical play as I am, find a fantastic hot sauce. Oh, do tell.
You mean chemical self play? Well, no, I mean, I've done chemical play on others as well. Have you put hot sauce on the giant or penis? Not not not there, but other parts.
Okay, I was gonna say that sounds dangerous. I know people that have done that. I surely know people that have done we know we both know the people that have they have put habanero peppers up their bottoms. I have done something very close.
Pepper in the people. Accu still gets on the and brings it up on occasion. I ate Carolina Reaper peanuts. Oh, oh no, I can't wait before doing certain things to her.
Oh, I know. I think we talked about this. I think so. I think we brought it up.
It doesn't matter. It's still a fresh, amazing wound, not as much as for aki. Yeah. So yeah, so this is I've been I've been the request has been made that I don't do that after eating this new hot sauce that I've felt.
And what's the name of the hot sauce? It's not the bomb, is it? No, no, no, it's it's a local. I'd love to give them some advertising and I don't have it in front of me.
It's like clowns on fire even even better. I like the name. Yeah, yes. It's clowns on fire hot sauce and their local out of Dallas.
Very friendly. I'm not sure if there are a couple or not guys, but but they were fantastic and what you taste everything. But what I got was the ice cream fire, I believe it was called. Double checking right now.
Nice. It's not even on their website. Ice cream clown. That's what it was.
That sounds delicious, but now we're going to move into another type of masochism and sadism. Yeah. And that would be and it's so funny because I've literally, you know, since Kathy's handling all her stuff and might not be back for a little while, I have to, you know, I'm talking to all these different people to come on the show and do things and like everyone's like, well, I can talk about primal. Well, I can talk about primal.
Well, I can talk about primal. And I'm like, you know, primal is pretty popular and Unger and I are going to have a little chat about that today. So popular topic among the kids. And of course, there's, you know, a lot of different types of primal and we were going to kind of touch on some of those.
Yeah. I think we picked three that we're going to tackle today. Of course, whatever type of primal you do, we'd love to hear about it from the podcast at gmail.com. So we can have more discussions about more types of primal.
Primal play basically is unleashing that visceral animal. Now, of course, because it's consensual between two people, there are some certain limits. But the whole idea is letting go of that animal part of you, whether you're the predator or the prey. And it's the different types of interaction that you can have with your partner in a visceral animal primal sense.
And some people can go very animalistic and hypnotic with it. And some people, it's just like a lot of gur that that real intense gur. So three of the types of play that we're going to cover today is the first I like to call voluntary human sacrifice, which is the biting scratch devouring of a willing bottom. This is where the person lets you basically take them and devour them and be rough with them and throw them around and bite and scratch.
The next one, and that's mostly what I've done. Now we're going to get into underland, which is wrestling for dominance. And kind of like, is that like the red seo-nja thing? Like if you can beat me, you can eat me kind of thing?
Kind of. Kind of. Where's that? Exactly.
And then, and then hunter prey, which I've done aspects of mentally, but those are things that I think you're a lot more into than I. So let's, why don't we go ahead and just go backwards and start because I'm curious about your concepts about what what is hunter prey primal play? So this, this, I mean, it's, so it's primal play, it's just kind of a large pot that everyone just throws a lot of different things into it. Just in general, I'll go to primal play classes and everyone talks about something completely different and has nothing to do with any of the others.
So it's kind of interesting. It's just kind of a term that's kind of thrown around a lot. Hunter prey, you've actually, there's two ways of doing this, whether you have both people primal or only one primal, especially if they're a primal primal prey. And you've done that one, I know, where you've gone nerve hunting.
Right. So that's actually where you let something free and then you go hunt it down. That's where you're going to go. So that's one way.
I've also done, funny, being head DM, I got in trouble as a DM for doing this, but I'm sitting there and they knew, it was a thing where we had already negotiated what is okay, what is it for the night and kind of things. And I just look at her at one point, go run. And when the ogre tells you to run, that is good advice. And just looking at the look in my eye, my expression and things like that, it wasn't even like, ha ha, it was it was fear in her eyes.
I'm out of here. He's going to eat me. And I say, so it's a great one to do, especially if you're doing like kinky camping and far away from stuff where you can't actually chase someone down. Right.
This is kind of like what you did. I don't know if you heard the segment that path girl talked about when they did the slave hunt, and it was basically letting them go and then people hunted them down. Yeah, I have a chance to do it again. Unfortunately, I saw it and I was like, Oh, I wanted to listen to that.
Yeah, yeah, no, that was that's definitely like now then obviously what type of negotiation do you need to have with somebody when you're going to do this type of pray? Because obviously at some point, I'm assuming there is a hope that there is a catch from both sides. I mean, maybe there's some that want to escape, you know, but inevitably the prey does kind of want to be caught at some point. Yeah, no, they do.
And there's there's got to be safe words. When you're negotiating this, you kind of want to negotiate. Okay, this realm of things is okay. This realm of things isn't, you know, don't bite me here.
Don't eat Carolina Reaper peanuts right before. Don't, you know, punch me. You can slap but don't punch. But you also have to realize depending on the amount of self for lack of a better term that you're giving up in the primal scene, you don't always think about these things and you can't get caught up in it.
And so we did we went what week before I think we went to the local dungeon we did a primal scene. And I can't really drop in that frame because it was really crowded and I couldn't I had to make sure everything was okay. So in that sense, I've got to be aware of everything around me and not focused on the prey. So there, I'm not fully dropping.
I'm barely dropping. That wasn't really hunter prey, but that same type of thing can happen. Sometimes you have to be more the hunter that you've done where you're controlling the scene more and letting the other person go letting the prey go. It's very it's not it might be feasible, but I don't see how it would feasible for the hunter to drop fully, but the prey not.
Now when we talk about drop, I've just this is now two people in a row. We just had Sonny on and of course when she's talking about you kids are using a flinging a new term on daddy. What do you do? It's new to me.
I've done 335 shows. I've never heard anyone use that term as much as now is happening. And it's the term dropping is the new term that the kids are using for getting into it. Is that what I'm assuming or getting into the headspace or it's getting into that space coming in raptured or entranced in the scene.
So when you drop it, that means you're going into it. And I think I've used it before, but it's always when like we were in the love lab and I was there and it was just normal conversation. So it wasn't really the focus. I wasn't the focus of it.
So I probably used it there. So but it wasn't you want to focus on it's because what's the confusion now with you kids in your goddamn changing terms is the fact that drop used to be considered top dropper sub drop. And so when somebody and when somebody dropped it was necessary it was more in inclination of a negative experience that you're focusing on the word and not the phrase. Whatever you just said drop drop into.
Okay. It's drop into so you drop into it. You don't drop from it. You drop into it.
And then afterwards you have the drop. Okay. Or you could just say get into the headspace. Yeah.
Or you just go wild. I just wanted to know because I'm like wait a minute. This was just literally last week that I'm hearing this term and now I'm getting confused. So I'm assuming maybe some of our listeners are getting confused.
So now you cool kids call it dropping in kind of like when you're when you're scratching for a wave and you drop in. Is that the thing you guys are trying to be all like cool surpers now? No. Trying to get with us the kids vernacular the old man here.
No, it's not well I guess kind of like that. It's that's just what we call it. That's what I called it since the freaking 90s. I don't know.
And just like when primal was barely a term because there were so much of the the which my call it the hoity toity stuff. Sorry. And I don't I mean no respect on this by the way. But the I'm just dropping.
Can't think because I'm dumb. You mean like the old garden leather and original BDSM and exactly the the ritual and the very pomp and circumstance type thing. And again, don't I'm not trying to put anything down. You are you're hating on leather people.
You're hating all master slave relationships. No, God, I'm going to be really trying to be more tolerant on this show. I just I'm just dumb. I can't think of a word.
I just start in trouble. So that's the word. Yeah, there's just the you don't have the protocol. Okay.
So and but protocol was a big thing then. Not many people did primal as much so at least in the early area at people going to special events. But now it's becoming more popular. Absolutely.
So now we're going to another type of praise. So we've kind of handled Hunter pray, which makes a lot of sense. And it's a lot of fun. And once again, it doesn't even have to be like when you catch them, you rip them apart and drag them by a foot through the whatever it can be kind of a tag thing.
And then maybe I caught you. So now you have to submit them and tie you up to this cross and then spanky spanky whatever whatever it could even be chase down pin. Okay. Let's do it again.
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I can. I did last time.
She had to bite me as pray to get out. She had to bite me, which was rough for her, which she likes biting. And I pinned her or I made her tap out, which is always fun because she hates tapping out. She'll tell you she doesn't tap out.
And she's slipping me off. But I made her tap out. And then we stop, we break, we reset and go again. So yeah, very good, very good.
So let's get into the next, which is another thing that you do probably more than me. I have so many injuries, wrestling for dominance. So this is actually speaking of a key power to us. The only way I remain the dominant in the relationship is by keeping that.
If she can ever pin me, then she will have it until I think back from her. And so sometimes she will just get in a mood and attack me out of nowhere. Just like a cat's bringing you from behind a couch. Yeah.
Yeah. It's a cat attacking a bear. And just like that, we just like when you picture that the bear usually puts her down on the ground with one hand and stares at her and goes, what are you doing? I was trying.
But yeah, so it's it is, but it's it's also just knowing that she will at any time, try to bite. She will at any time try to come up and push me over, try to pin me when I'm half asleep and not paying attention. And then she discovered I'm less likely to be in control when I'm half asleep or if she bites me when I'm asleep. And she gets thrown across a room.
And I feel bad about that. But no, fully because that's what that's part of. This is our understood dynamic. Right.
It's not even just a scene. It's just our dynamic. Right. More long term.
So in that, I worry about a four moment. I make sure she's okay. And I go, what are you thinking? This is what you're trying to do.
This is the reaction you got. Deal. And then, you know, once she's okay, the only time we've ended up at the hospital was not doing that actually. Other than she jumped on my back.
And how did that how who went to which one of you were in the ER for that one? She went to the hospital because she jumped on my back and she's like, I want to pick it back right. So it's a different thing. And then for some reason, she like, she like, and head injury later.
Yeah. Yeah, stitches. No stitches. No stitches.
Oh, Jesus Christ possible. Well, possible concussion. We went to the ER the next day, but she was out and I was kind of freaking for a minute because it was she's out. Wake up, wake up, wake up.
Don't be dead. Oh, wow. Once I was sure of that, then it's okay. I've got control again.
I'm good. Right. Let's get you okay. And then the next day, it's like, we're going to see you.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, and once again, this when you get into the safety aspects of that type of play, it's just like any wrestling, it's like any tackle sport, it's like any contact sport, the risks are, and this is one of the reasons I don't do a lot of heavy wrestling is because you have to have to be safe, a lot of control. Now you get a lot of control because you're just literally 150 pounds heavier than most of your victims.
So and you know how to tackle and you know how to wrestle and you have experiencing these things. So you know how to fairly quickly take control of the situation. Yeah. But if you don't and it becomes kind of more competitive, then that's where accidents can happen because especially when you start getting into that heat in the moment and you know, the tickle fighting or whatever your dynamic is, that's where risks can get sprained, heads can bump on chairs.
You really have to and I've seen this in the dungeon before. Yeah. And I saw this, I forget it was like maybe abyss and mu and they're like, we want to wrestle. We want to wrestle and they were going to go out and abyss is like, okay, motherfucker and news like, okay, motherfucker.
And my job was to be the goalie and we set up the mats and they went at it. But when they start getting into it and they're like, you know, they drop in and now they're in the space and like literally you just see a head flying towards the edge of a table and my job was to just like jump in the way and push the head away from smacking the table. So there's a lot of things about clearing your space. Yeah.
One of the things I highly suggest when you're doing this type of play, especially if you're inexperienced, is have a spotter. Yeah, absolutely. Like I just said, yeah, I was this. You were doing I've done that for people before where you can there's a lot of pluses to that too, because you can then say, okay, you guys do whatever you need, especially like having me as a spotter.
I worried about one particular scene that was discussed because together, somebody might be able to take me, but still one on one, I could pretty much stop most of the fights if they get to two into it. Right. But that again, takes a lot of negotiation of where is the two into it point? Right.
Like, okay, you're biting, you're scratching, you're choking. Is this loud? Yeah. Okay.
Where do I let you put them to sleep if they get a good sleep around you? Right. Right. And depending on where you are, that's, you know, that's not going to happen at all places.