337 – Talking to Children About Death

iCloud Changes and Client Confidentiality – Dealing with DNAs in Placement and Practice In Episode 337 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week’s three topics: Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, we explore how to talk to children about death - covering developmental understanding, appropriate language, and how to support children through bereavement. Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Catherine Knibbs about changes in Apple’s encryption policy and what this means for therapists in terms of data protection and confidentiality. And lastly, in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken discuss how to respond when a client does not attend a session, particularly while you’re on placement. Talking to Children About Death [starts at 03:26 mins] Talking to children about death is a delicate but vital topic. In this section, Rory and Ken offer guidance on how to approach this with compassion and clarity. Key points discussed include: Begin the conversation by referencing nature - trees, animals, and seasons can help young children start to understand the cycle of life and death. Avoid euphemisms such as “gone to sleep” or “passed away” - these can be confusing and potentially distressing. Children under 5 may not grasp the permanence of death. They may show their grief through regression, clinginess, or confusion. Children between 5 and 11 are more aware but may still not fully understand. They often ask the same questions repeatedly to process the information. Magical thinking can lead a child to believe their actions or thoughts caused a death - therapists and caregivers must gently challenge this. William Worden’s “12 Needs of a Bereaved Child” mention the need for clear and honest information, routine, and emotional expression. iCloud Changes and Client Confidentiality [starts at 24:04 mins] In this week’s Practice Matters, Rory speaks with Catherine Knibbs about the recent removal of Advanced Data Protection from Apple iCloud in the UK, and how this impacts therapists. The key points of this conversation include: iCloud’s end-to-end encryption has been removed in the UK, meaning data stored in iCloud is more easily accessible by government agencies. Therapists who use Apple devices may unknowingly store sensitive client data (notes, recordings) in the cloud. It’s now more important than ever to review your device settings and understand where your client data is going. If you're recording sessions, use dedicated offline devices like a dictaphone rather than mobile phones that automatically sync to the cloud. Be aware of auto-backups on apps and devices, and take steps to disable them if needed. Therapists must now adopt a more technologically informed stance on client confidentiality, reviewing not just clinical practice but also data storage and device use. Dealing with DNAs in Placement and Practice [starts at 49:30 mins] Do Not Attends (DNAs) are a common part of placement and professional practice. In this section, Rory and Ken reflect on how to respond both practically and emotionally. Main points include: It’s normal for clients to miss sessions, especially in the early stages of therapy or during times of personal crisis. As a student, it’s easy to take a DNA personally, but it’s rarely about you - clients may not be ready, or other life factors may have intervened. Use the time to reflect, do coursework, or engage in self-care. Some placement providers use systems to reduce DNAs, such as text reminders or follow-up calls. Take these experiences into supervision to gain support and insight. Clients may only attend one session, but even a single meeting can offer value. It’s part of your development to work through these moments professionally and reflectively. Talking to Children About DeathClick Here to Download Free Handout ...