# 338 How to Handle School Avoidance

Is your tween or teen suddenly refusing school—or saying they’re “sick” every morning? How do you tell what’s normal pushback versus a red flag that needs support? In this conversation, Colleen and pediatric psychologist Dr. Ariana Hoet unpack school avoidance—what it is, why it happens, and how moms can respond without escalating morning battles. You’ll hear how anxiety fuels avoidance (and why avoidance strengthens anxiety), the power of gradual exposure and tiny “wins,” and how to get granular: identify the real barrier (safety fears, social stress, learning struggles, sleep/screens), co-create a stepwise plan, and partner with the school. They offer concrete scripts, role-plays, and motivation-finding questions so your teen feels both validated and capable—and you’re not stuck at 7 a.m. stalemates. Dr. Ariana Hoet is Executive Clinical Director at the Kids Mental Health Foundation and a pediatric psychologist serving primarily immigrant families in primary care. She is a Clinical Assistant Professor in Pediatric Psychology/Neuropsychology at Nationwide Children’s Hospital and The Ohio State University, training the next generation of behavioral health professionals. A trusted national voice, Dr. Hoit has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Good Morning America, and Newsweek. Her passion is translating research into practical, family-ready tools. Three takeaways: Validate, then move forward: Empathize with the real feeling (“This is hard and scary”) and avoid the “just get over it” trap. Then use graduated exposure—tiny steps toward school—to shrink anxiety’s power. Get specific to solve: Pinpoint the blocker (safety fears, bullying, skill gaps, not knowing where to sit at lunch, sleep debt, screens, or possible learning differences). Specific problem → specific plan (role-play scripts, identify “safe people/places,” consider tutoring/evaluation, adjust sleep and tech). Build the village & motivation: Coordinate with teachers/counselors, connect your teen to belonging (clubs, teams, arts), and discover their reasons to go (friends, activities)—not just adult reasons like grades. Learn more at: https://www.kidsmentalhealthfoundation.org/about/our-team/clinical-director Follow on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/kidsmentalhealthfoundation/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/arianahoetphd/?hl=en