#34: Stop Faking It: Attachment, Trauma & Female Pleasure in Relationships with Lizandra from New Frame Therapy

Have you ever felt like you lose yourself in relationships? Where you become so focused on being everything and being the "good girlfriend/wife/partner" that you stop doing the things YOU want to do?And then in sex you have no idea what it is YOU like because you've been so focused on pleasing your partner?Are you definitely a chronic people-pleaser and know you need to break out of it?Babe, this episode was meant for you!I sat down with friend and colleague Lizandra, from New Frame Therapy to talk about topics close to our hearts: The connection between your attachment style, trauma, and how it impacts your love life and sexual happiness.We covered:Understanding the Attachment-Sex connection: Your attachment style doesn't just affect your relationships-- it fundamentally shapes your sexual experiences.How anxious attachment manifests as disconnection from your body and desires.Why most heterosexual couples follow restrictive "socio-sexual scripts" that prioritize male pleasure.How to break free from these patterns and create authentic sexual experiences.Why learning to recognize your body's signals of comfort and discomfort is essential for both healthy relationships and fulfilling sex.Giving yourself permission to wantWhy many women struggle to even identify what they want, sexually and otherwise.How to give yourself permission to have desires and communicate them effectively.Before expecting mind-blowing sex, start with rebuilding non-sexual pleasure in your life.Building your "pleasure muscles" and how everyday joy translates to the bedroom.Why "Low Libido" is misleading-- it can be a symptom of deeper attachment issues and disconnection from self.Breaking out of people-pleasing in the bedroomUnderstanding our cultural conditioning as women and the impossible expectations to be both "good girls" and "sex kittens."Simple techniques to rebuild safety, establish healthy boundaries, and reclaim your pleasure potential.Want to start having REAL orgasms, no more faking them? Get 50% off my e-course on HOW to have orgasms all through May only. Click here to purchase.How to contact Lizandra:Listen to the Healing Childhood Podcast on Apple & Spotify Download your free Workbook The Ultimate Guide to Secure Relationships Follow Lizandra on TikTok and InstagramFollow this podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0MdbEOJW9nXRqLsAMSTRAn?si=13d9a8abecfe4ac0Follow this podcast on Apple podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-naked-unashamed-life/id1682478750Want to connect more?For the shameless sexual confidence, pleasure and deep satisfaction you’ve been craving, head here: ⁠https://lucyrowett.com/⁠Free PDF on how to confidently ask for what you want in bed: https://bit.ly/askforwhatyoureallywantLearn more about working together 1:1 here: https://lucyrowett.com/liberated-coaching-program/Unlock your sexual happiness with Beducated. Get access to 100+ raw and honest courses on sex, led by the world’s top experts. You’ll find fresh new content every month.Get 25% off your annual subscription here, use the code LUCYROWETT25 at the checkout to get it: ⁠https://bit.ly/BeducatedLR25⁠Social media links:IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/lucylurowett⁠TT: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/⁠FB: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/lucyrowettcsc⁠LI: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucy-rowett-csc-cs-acs-9a301351/Credits:Produced and Hosted by: Lucy Rowett (aka moi!)Cover Art by: Lucy Rowett (also moi!)Music by: Tom M at Filmstro