34. Too Hard on Yourself to Enjoy Anything - Perfectionism, Moving the Goalposts and Why Success Doesn’t Feel Good

Ever felt like you’re too hard on yourself to actually enjoy your life?Yeah. Us too.In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists who know the “what’s next?” feeling all too well) get real about what it’s like to achieve things… and still feel flat, behind, or like it didn’t really count.We talk about moving the goalposts, chasing the next milestone, and the quiet pressure to keep doing, achieving, and proving — even when it’s stealing your ability to feel proud, satisfied, or at peace.This time we talked about:🎙️ We’ve felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello achieving something and immediately thinking about the next thing, feeling weirdly flat after success, and wondering why it never quite feels like enough.👀 What it looks like in real life: Getting the grade, the job, the milestone… and instead of celebrating, you’re already asking “so now what?” or questioning whether it even counts.🧠 Why our brains do it: Perfectionism, internalised “not good enough” beliefs, cultural pressure to always be achieving, and the illusion that the next success will finally make us feel different.🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻The different ways it shows up: Overachieving, constant busyness, tying your worth to success, chasing status or validation, or feeling pressure to keep performing once you’ve done well.🧰 Coping mechanisms: Slowing down, questioning why you’re doing something, noticing the “next thing” urge, and allowing yourself to actually sit with what you’ve achieved.🌱 How to make peace with it: You don’t need to earn your worth through achievement — and nothing you achieve will ever fix a belief that says you’re not enoughThanks for listening           💛💜🩷🩵🧡💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew: → Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: [email protected] 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------sensitivity podcast, overthinking podcast, therapy podcast, belonging podcast, mental health podcast, deep chat podcast, neurodivergent podcast, autism podcast, adhd podcast, outsider syndrome, feeling different podcast, people pleasing podcast, authenticity podcast, friendship podcast