Here they are, with a boss of fire! If you talk trash, there's gonna be a fight! Walk the fool hard, and blow it in the sky! Here they are!
Do you giggle when you wiggle, Bathgirl? Of course I do, I wiggle and I giggle. Do you do it? Do you just like walk down the street and then shake your ass just so you can crack yourself up?
Because I do that. Sometimes, sometimes I do, especially I got a very big ass, so it's just, you know, it's one of those Mike Milke Springs all the boys in the yard. Yes! And they're like, it's better than yours.
Damn, right! It's better than yours. I could teach you. But I have to charge.
The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four!
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? But it might come. Scared that your desires might be strange? But it might come.
Come and join the Kinky Wells of Play! But it might come. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Hello and welcome to the Perverted Podcast, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind!
Recording on Zencaster, thousands of miles apart all the way in North Carolina. I am Pathgirl. I am Count Boogie, and God damn it, Pathgirl. I think this may be the one.
Really? The one what? We're just going to call it the Happy Show. It's a show like both topics are kind of positive and happy.
Unlike our normal, like let's talk about betrayal and trust and trust issues and all the ways we've been harmed that we now have to recover from and stuff like that. And like both of the topics are relatively like a voice from the past is coming back on the show in a little while. Somebody that I just have incredible goofy chemistry with. So it's going to be like 20 minutes of goofiness.
And we're going to talk about self play and getting over that stigma of self play and stuff like that. And but what's going on with you? Have you had any shenanigans the last week? Oh, I had a whole weekend of shenanigans.
You forgot that I went to Coastal Carolina, fetish fair. Oh, that's right. You had the big thing. Oh, yes.
Now in Dirty Murdles Beach, South Carolina. So how was that? How did that go? Lots of classes?
What classes did you go to? It was so amazing. So it was four days of classes. Actually, I didn't do as many classes, but I did more intensive classes like Thursday.
We did a three hour with class. So we were he was teaching us all the different types of whips and you know, you know, how the difference between them. And then actually everybody who wanted to was throwing whips, basically anything from a signal whip to a snake whip and basically teaching us overhand and inside the sides and stuff. They were using a scene.
It was really, really cool. So it was like three hours of that. And then the next morning, he did another class where he was teaching us like kind of some more of the history of whips and like, if you know, basically like with longer whips, like, you know, kind of use a whip. It's appropriate to the dungeon you're playing and the place you're playing in because you don't want to use a 10 foot whip in like a place where you only got six feet.
You're going to take some. Yeah, you're going to take some ears. There's that's a that's an ear collecting whip in a dungeon, especially when new people are just like, wow, look at all this. And they're just wander through people's scenes.
Yeah, some dungeons are just not, but you said this guy has the dungeon where they're at has like a whip alley. Yeah, they're based out of Georgia. And some people that go there, they have what they call whip alley where you could do at least a 10 foot whip and have no problem whatsoever. Even the dungeon space they set up for the place is the two nights.
They had like a good 10 foot strip where he basically could throw a large whip and not hit anybody. See, that's great. Most most dungeons, if you're fortunate enough to have a dungeon somewhere in your local area is really they're just not set up for big whips, like maybe a three foot, you know, four foot whip because you got to remember when you're when you're throwing it, you're getting ready to throw it. That whip is going behind you the same length that's going in front of you in most cases.
And so that's real easy like a. Yeah, most of the places I've been. And then that you maybe you have a room like if it's it's a room that you're in alone, you could maybe throw a six. But yeah, there's really not a lot of dungeon set up for that.
So that's kind of cool. That would be fun to see that place. So what kind of a then you did you told me you did sell like an interrogation class with a cycle. Oh, yeah.
Oh, God, this is a really good interrogate. I've always I'm starting to look into doing an interrogation scene with either my my dom of the top that I play with and he was telling us this guy's going about 24 intensive interrogation and abduction scenes, anything from a minimum of eight hours to he's done interrogation scenes over five days. This guy has built like soundproof closets with infrared cameras. He's done abductions in the middle of like camp camp rounds and stuff.
But he was basically giving us like all the basics of like interrogation and abduction and obviously you don't want to duck somebody from like a shopping mall and you know, people were you know, people who actually told us a funny story about how he did an abduction for a guy, essentially where he went to this guy's house and there's a tree line. There's no houses around. So he gets the guy is getting out of the car and chloroform sand puts a bag over said and starts dragging him back to his car behind the guy's house about 20 minutes up the road. The police come sirens blazing and pull him over guns drawn and like they opened up the trunk and the guy's like, no, no, this was consensual.
We're just we're just playing. We're just playing in the cocks like you guys are fucked up, man. You guys are fucking sick. Yeah, that's probably the best outcome for a scenario like that.
Like I mean, we're not going to do an interrogation segment right now, but just once again, no matter in this guy is like trained military like this guy is a legit interrogation person like he knows when it's for real and when it's for play play and even then with all the preparation that you can do once that placing goes outside and someone see, you know, know what bird watcher, you know, whatever you don't know. I mean, like I tell the joke about, you know, getting pulled out of my house by nine cops at gunpoint for singing a dirty fucking Christmas song because the mailman thought I was while I was singing, you know, sex lyrics and screaming, you know, he thought I was raping someone in my apartment. You never, you know, you never know. You absolutely never know.
I mean, that's exciting. So. And then I had some time you did. Did you have some did you have some pokey pokey spanky spanky?
Oh, yeah, actually I had a lot of first this weekend. So the first night I did two scenes in one night, which is the first for me, but I did a scene with a new top. Oh, really? Oh, and she's a woman.
You played with a girly girl. I played with a girly girl. I played with my friend cat who's the partner of my top doc. She wanted to do a scene with me and I said, let's go for it.
Wow. Have you ever you haven't played with a lot of women? Have you? I I'm had a reflexible.
So I played sexually with women, but I've never done a scene with a woman. So this was the first time for me. So you this is the first time bottoming to a woman. Yes.
Oh, yeah. So how did it go? What was the energy like? Oh, it was so good.
You know, it's it's a different energy because especially I'm a little primal where smells important to me and I could smell and offers her for some just her behind me. I could have that smell and it's a completely different vibe, but I'll tell you right now, my friend cat, she's a sick, twisted bitch. She she was she brought the skills. Oh, yeah.
I mean, like her her boyfriend doc kind of like taught her some stuff, but she's she took it to a home. Another level. She kept getting you with a riding crop in between the thighs and that really, really meaty area that's so tender and just OK, spread them spread them and I'm like, what? Right.
And she just kept like going back and forth. Just really fast. I think I'm on. I'm on.
Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was poor, poor, poor, poor, poor bottom. Yes. It was.
I was like, I'm going to go back and forth again and then another first for me with doc was actually what everything you learned in that whip scene. I mean, he's been playing with his for years, but I've never bought him to a whip. So this is the first time I actually had a whip used on me. Oh, what kind of whip did he use?
He used a snake whip. OK, so like a six footer kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. So and we went really like this is my first time ever using a whip, but a lot of people say that it's kind of like a line or he says it's kind of like a line of fire for me.
Kind of felt like getting hit with a rubber band because you get that initial pop and you get that little burn kind of. So it was it was a very interesting sensation. I mean, they have you know, leaves little tracks and some people call meteors. We get that initial pop where you can see a little circle and then that line from the cracker that's on the bottom on the back of it.
So I had some really nice marks after we were done. And so the sensation was it was it jumpy for you or was it just stingy because you've done dragons down dragons down before? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was I mean, we started off really light.
So it was just a little stingy where it's like, oh, that's just thingy. I'm OK. But then as he saw I was getting more comfortable with it, he started going for the harder hips and the closer hits and then I was just like flinching a bit and especially getting in some of the really soft spots. And then I was like, oh, I know she's tender under here.
What? So now were you able to get spacey with that or were you just so in the the newness of it that you were just really focused? I got a little I got a little spacey with it. I mean, it's hard when you're in a big public dungeon.
I mean, especially just to set up in a hotel where there was probably about like 10 or 15 stations in each dungeon to get really super spacey and especially music is important to me. So like if I don't have the right music, I don't get as spacey, but it was enough where I got done with it. And I said that is good. That's it.
That is actually a sounds like a pretty packed weekend of joy and wonder. Oh, yes. It was a lot of fun. We had a lot of fun.
Right. All types on that life. The real of he, whole of his arm is big to life. Oh, your peace of mind, please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically granted us permission to do so.
Yes. Yes, indeed. We have our open permission still from the ferret. I've been so long.
That was really. That was really looks like a goat eating a tin can. It's not very fair. It's sounding at all or desperate like a desperate man eating vagina for the first time probably would all sound like a play.
Oh, it's so cool. Like a tears running down my eye. No, that's probably not what Ferret sounds like, but our fair has given us absolute permission to read any post and you found one that I'm like, oh my God, good news. Like a good thing.
Okay, let's get into this. Ferret writes and we're going to kind of piece it up. Obviously he has all of his stuff, but we're going to go with the general theme of this. My own green relationship flags, not red flags, the green flags, who the fuck would think?
Who would think there's a good meme going around that says fuck red flags in relationships. Tell me about some green flags, the flags that make you go, fuck yeah, this is healthy behavior. And since the meme encouraged me to add my own, I would also mention and then he goes on to mention a number of his and then I picked a few of his. I told you to pick a few green flags that you look for in a relationship, the things that make you say, hey, this is somebody that I can hang out with.
These are really good behaviors. And so let's start with one of his and then you and I'll just go back and forth. Oh, let's do three of his and then you and I'll go back and forth on ours. One that he puts, which I actually love this is making space for each other in a group conversation.
If a couple is like, oh, you have this great story, you should tell it or directing attention back to their partner after a rowdy conversation gets their point lost and gets overlooked. That's a win for me. I like that one. Definitely.
I like that. Even though I'm usually like the performer in the relationship, you know, I'm the one that does a lot of storytelling and public and of course, you know, always on stage. I really enjoy when my partners can also take over storytelling. Yeah.
You know, especially in a new relationship or even if you're introducing, you know, a partner to friends kind of gets involved about, oh, hey, you remember that story? Oh, you tell it so much better than I do kind of it. Yeah. But even if there's, I like it when, you know, because of course I tell stories, that's what I do, but it's still nice to hear like me, I did this a lot with me because she'd be like, well, you're the storyteller.
I'm like, well, you have your point of view and maybe your point of view about that story. The things that you liked about that experience that we had together is a different point of view than I have and I'm interested in that to see what you liked about that. And it's so it's, it's kind of fun when both people and of course, you know, some people are very shy and they don't talk well in public, but like say you're among, you know, close friends or whatever in a more closed group. I still really enjoy it when my partners can can tell their own stories.
Yeah, definitely, definitely huge. The other one which I'm super, super into is ignited delights partners who actually look for things to love in their partners, hobbies are wonderful. I'm not particularly knowledgeable about quilting, nor even into fabric arts, but I'll happily go to a quilting exhibition while my wife explains to me all the reasons why this quilt is made by the quilting master. You don't have to love what your partner loves, but you should at least be cataloging the reasons why they love it.
Yeah, this one's awesome. This is one of my favorites. This is absolutely one of my favorites. I cannot tell you how many partners that I've had, you know, like Abyss was totally into her fighting group.
You know, you remember she, you're listening or goddamn it. Yeah. You remember she was real. She was a leader of like her tribe in this, you know, like live action semi fighting where they fight, but it's like padded things that you can't call it.
Because we call it laughing. She'll get really pissed because it's not laughing. Yeah, she was like a step above like a C or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was real into that. And then of course, Mew, you know, was totally into like her gaining RuneScape and Sabetta and Pokemon go, which fucking ruined my life, you know, but for six months, I had no idea what this dumb game was and I drove her all around while she chased fucking these Pokemon things. And but she was just so excited about it. And then I ended an anime, you know, anime is a big one.
And my point of this is there's things that maybe your partner's totally totally into that you're like, I don't get it. But then all of a sudden hearing their excitement about it. Now all of a sudden you're into it. Right.
Even if you're not really even into it, you could share their enthusiasm for it. Where's just basically like, well, you know, they probably things they do for you. You could do that for them. Where's just like, okay, well, I don't like quilting, but she's excited about it.
And I think you could share your partner's joy when they're sitting there looking at them and saying them excited. You can kind of appreciate the excitement that they have about I suppose I don't want to be snobby about it, you know, because, you know, like, oh, I'm paying more attention to my partners than you do. But it kind of is. It kind of is like, well, are you do you love this person?
Is it someone you care about, you know, that you're interested in them as the person or just, you know, is it more selfish where they're just there to kind of serve you? I'm really interested in like the stuff they're doing because of the intention behind it. Sometimes, you know, like the thing doesn't matter as much. But when they're jacked out, like when she played this, like, I think it's called sabbata and she would basically spend months building a little avatar and dressing it exactly perfectly.
She would spend so many hours on it and her face was just so into it. And she would tell me how she acquired this sash for this thing. And just, you know, I had no interest in the thing, but it was just so exciting to see someone I care about so focused on something that just gave her fucking joy. Right.
Right. And it's and same thing. Like I said, that is just like you could, you know, if you, you know, you may have a girlfriend or boyfriend that's just like, oh, I don't want to go do this because it's boring. You know what?
If you do something for them, maybe they'll be more likely to go do something that you want to do and then actually maybe start taking enjoyment in it. Yeah, that's a big one for me. Unselfishly speaking, their love language. If someone's not particularly into touching, but realizes their partners thirst for cuddles on a bad day, giving big snuggly bedhugs is a total victory in my book.
Yes. Oh, yeah. And this is this is really good for me. I mean, I'm I'm kind of into what my partners are into because I like the reaction, but there's definitely more cuddly than I ever was.
And, you know, but you know, that's that's what that's what she needs when she needs it. Right. Yeah, because there's there's what your love language is and what your partner's love language can be completely different and respecting the difference where it's just basically, you know, you may not want to be touched when you're angry or sad, but your partner may want like I said, you want those cuddles. So all right, you can go give her those cuddles and I know she appreciate.
Yeah. And sometimes it's also cute. See talk or love each stuff and then people get kind of hung up on, you know, public displays of affection and do we hold hands in public and I'm very used to just kind of playing by my partners for that because, you know, I do a lot of age cap relationships. No.
And they don't want to be seen with an old dude. You know, I've had literally like, this is awkward for me and this makes me uncomfortable. I definitely have had partners that are like, can we just be buddies in public? I mean, maybe not like serious relationships, but I've had plenty of people and I just, it doesn't but hurt me.
You know, it really doesn't because everyone has their thing. And then some people want to like totally, because I'm not into like the making out. I don't like public make it because I don't like this. I don't care.
I don't care what gender you are. I just don't like seeing people there all all over each other because most of them aren't fucking pretty and it's just like, I know I'm not pretty. So I don't want to inflict that on them. Like I'll sneak in a car and fuck someone, but I don't want to do that in front of people.
Okay. So why don't you go pick one of yours? It's a green flag. Oh, for me, one of the big ones is willingness to communicate where that's so attractive to me and that's on any level from, I don't expect anybody to completely open up on me on the first date, but as a relationship rose, there should be more opening up with each other.
And you know, there's a difference between privacy and secrecy. Everybody's entitled to have their own private life and not share everything, but as a relationship grows or friendship grows, you should be able to be able to relate to people and communication could be something as simple as a good morning text to, Hey, I've had a bad day and just listen to me and validate me going, wow, that must have been really hard on you all different levels of communication. Kind of like the last one that's you have a specific communication language that you need that you want people to respond in a way that kind of validates you, which is pretty normal. Yeah.
I have one that because it was fun because I'm like, well, what types of things I'm saying? There's the things that we talk about on the show all the time, you know, that are positive. And so I tried to pick a couple of things that were a little different for me. And one thing in a kinky setting like a play party or an event or something like that, when my partner joins me on the newbie support sermons, you know what I'm talking about.
Right. Like there's a newbie there and they're like scared or they're, you know, or they're bewildered or they're excited, but they have no clue and they feel kind of awkward and whatever. And you just, you just grab them and let them know that you're excited that they're there and that what they're feeling is normal. And here's, you know, all the resource.
Like I fucking love that male FEMA doesn't matter to me. I love that because I felt welcomed when I first went to my first play party, my first play event, my first kinky event. There's people there that, uh, uh, gravel tits, Miss D. Miss D made me feel super welcome.
And that made a big difference to me. I mean, I was a horny, gregarious person. I would have made it anyway, but to some people, that's really the difference. And when your partner can join you on that and seize the importance of that, because if that person has a bad event, a bad night, they're not coming back and they may decide in that moment, I made a mistake.
This isn't for me. And that's devastating. Did the thought of that to me literally keeps me up at night to know that people have these strong desires. They want to have these relationships.
They maybe have all this weird programming in them and they had a chance to go to a place that supposedly was non judging and made them feel like they could be a part of it. And then they get, they talked to the wrong fucking person and then their closet did for the rest of their life and never do it. That's just a horrible thought. So when, and I, this was really good at this because she was also real toppy and, and she had a lot of great snark and, uh, so we double teamed a lot of people really well.
Mu was great because, um, you know, she was real young when she came in. So she didn't feel that she had a lot of skills, but of course, she's just like this ball of loving, supportive energy. So she was really great at that. And then of course, as she learned thing within, you know, a few months and then a couple of years and whatever, then she was able to really jump on.
And to me, that's just exciting. I want to be with someone that gets that mission. Right. Right.
Okay. So what am I that is also very important to me? Somebody who keeps their commitments to me and communicates when they can't. So it's really important to me that, you know, you're going to make a commitment and you're going to stick to it.
If you have a good reason to break up commitment by all means, you got to get stuck late at work, you had a bad day, whatever it is, just, just communicate why you can't, you know, hey, I got stuck at work. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. All right.
I like that one. I like that one more, more keeping in the communication. And my number two, which is also kind of a deal breaker for me. Um, as far as a relationship, like I'll play, I'm a whore.
I'll play with a lot of people. I don't care. I don't care what your religious political affiliations are or whatever. Just fucking, you know, as long as you're mildly validating, I'll fucking stick a finger in you.
But if I'm going to spend time with you and develop a relationship with you, you have to be ambitious with your own mission statement for your own life. Yes. Oh, you have to have a thing of this be an RN and she was a phenomenal RN and she went to school and it was her thing that was not my thing and it was something for her to get up in the morning and get to that level of service from you. It's being a doctor for bunny.
It was being a genetics counselor. Uh, for me, it's, you know, music, making music, being an entertainer and perverted podcast, all it has to be something that it doesn't even have to be a super big thing, but it needs to be your thing. It needs to be your thing. Now, I'm not saying like if somebody is really falls under the submissive slave mentality and they really want to adapt themselves to the mission statement of their dominant or master, I understand that that's, that's a thing.
But I need, you need to have a history before you get to me. You need to have things that you've done. And if you want to be a part of being serviced to me and then, you know, be a support to the show and help me put that out as a service to mankind, then that's great, but there's got, you got to have something. Yeah.
I mean, I just, I can't date people who coast through life. I've even dated guys. I had one guy, one of my dominance was an EMC that was involved in a very traumatic accident and had to take some time off of work and he's like, you know what? I'm going to go to the local hardware store and decide to become a delivery driver for a year and just, you know, just need to, you know, realize he needed a change, but he still had something he needed to keep his mind going.
He's not going to sit at home and wallow in his PTSD. So yeah, it's just, I mean, it's a great point where it's just like, you want to date somebody who's constantly, not maybe not even bettering themselves, but constantly moving forward. Yeah, you have a thing and whether it's, I mean, you could be a volunteer thing where you go and feed people or do something or, you know, go once a month and talk to old people and you organize events or, you know, something, you got to have something that you're like, this is bigger than me. This is an important thing.
It's a career. It's a, you know, it's what I want to do and it gives me ambition. Because then we get to inspire each other in different ways. Right.
Yeah. No, it's definitely, it pushes you to be better for your partner too, because sometimes you can, you know, if you're in a low point, you can see their excitement or their ambition or their drive and sometimes a kind of kitchen to butt going, all right, I need to keep moving forward. Oh, that's me 100%. That is me 100%.
Every time I talk to you, I got to just shut the fuck up and be like, uh, I'm doing stuff. It's like I studied for 75 hours straight. So I could pass this bioengineering, whatever class of death. And yeah, she's literally, I'm like, you can't bitch around you.
Cause she's in luck in med school. And that is the exact reason why I did not go to med school and decided to become a pathologist assistant. Well, you still cut up dead people and that makes me happy. You have one more.
Let's do our last two real quick. Yeah. So, um, for me, it's, it's something simple, but remembering little things in a good way. Now, you know, there's sometimes people make mental notes of like, Oh, about this and that and they use that in an argument.
But for me, the little things like sending a good morning text, um, one of my big things of my dominance is when they're here, I bring them a cup of coffee in bed. But on the days, I'm not with them. I send them a little coffee meme and it's a little good morning. Here's your cup of coffee.
So it's, it kind of goes for fair. It said the post about remembering the silly little things that may not be important to you, but are important to your partner. It's just, you know, sending a good night text, you know, not just passing out and wondering, do they die? You know, most of the time for the guys I'm dating, I just send them a quick, you know, I'm going to bed.
You know, I'm going to get some OG just little things here and there, which just like it's a reminder, you know, it's that person about, Hey, I've been thought somebody thought about me and took a minute to say, Hi, I'm set as a definite huge dream. Like for me. My final one is, of course you would expect this from a guy, Count Boogie. It is a deal breaker in any relationship.
Not afraid to talk about existential issues or wonder outside of normal religious and primitive limits of the universe. Why would that be a deal breaker for you, Boogie? Well, I mean, I just can't be with somebody that, that can't look at the potential. And once again, I don't have proof of any of this stuff, but I can't, I have to be limitless.
I have to be with somebody that also does not have the arrogance to believe they know it all that they have the answers for everything. There needs to be a certain level of humility when you look up at the stars. If you can't look, if you can see, if not, you know, the stars are there. I'll explain them to you.
If, if you are presented with the enormity of this universe and the little teeny bit that we know now and you can't have a certain amount of humility of going, there is so much still to learn. We learn things every single day that we didn't know before and there's so we don't even know how wrong we are about what we perceive as this reality. So I need to be with somebody. And once again, I'm not going to get hung up on it, but I have to acknowledge the possibility because that is at the forefront of adventure and exploration.
And that's my entire, that's my jam. And so it's my big green flag and everyone that I have been with and even some people that were had very spiritual beliefs, you know, they still had their spiritual beliefs, but they at least kept open the ability to say, I don't know everything and maybe I'm wrong about this and maybe there is more answers that to me is a huge green flag. If somebody can have that existential conversation with me and go, yeah, maybe aliens. I don't know.
Fuck it. That's like a owner. Even have like a healthy sense of skepticism where it just basically like, you know, how many times have I gotten into arguments because I'm an amateur ghost hunter? Oh, ghost don't exist.
Really? Then how do you explain this? You know, give me another plausible explanation and if somebody who would turn around and go, well, yeah, it could be a ghost or could be this at least is open for a topic of discussion, not to basically know this is the way it is. And that's it.
Yeah, I mean, because, you know, I mean, and once again, those conversations, like even ghost hunting and things like that, which of course, I don't really, I don't see a lot of evidence for it. But what if that is some sort of parallel energy that's being created or inserted into the video? Yeah, you once you can't say anything, absolutely, because we don't know what we don't know. And we're always finding out what we don't know.
Who knows? Maybe it's fucking Beetlejuice. Maybe it is straight. Maybe Beetlejuice was some alien inserted prophetic prophecy that tells us exactly what happens when we die.
You don't know. And I need somebody that at least is able to say, I don't know. That's a good one. I like that one.
Oh, yeah. This is gonna be Beetlejuice, baby. Fuckin Beetle. Go ahead.
Make my millennium. Hey, these are my rules. Gonna think of it. I haven't got any rules.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Oh, anyway, Ferret. A fantastic, fantastic post by Ferret. And some good babble, some real positive stuff.
Green flags. Why just look for red flags? Look for the green flags. I didn't need my stuff.
Some food to eat. And the cave girl side. You spend it and you buy it. And you flex it like a chump.
All things with her. And I just want to fuck. Though join us and Beninus is things we find interesting. This is the random topic we are gonna talk about now.
Speak to the whole, Carrie. I always speak to the whole. That is good. When's the last time you spoke to a whole?
Just this morning. Not your whole. Oh, God. It's already starting.
Let the games. How they get hello, Carrie, to you and your lovely whole. Our perverted podcast listeners have not heard from you in like at least two, two and a half, three years as to remind our perverted podcast listeners. You are a harmonica gag girl.
I am was one of your claims to fame. Yes, where you created a harmonica gag that when Kathy spanked you. You made harmonica sounds. I did.
It was awesome. It was but do you still have the harmonica gag? I do. Have you.
I don't. I don't. I don't. Not very much.
It's not popular in the dungeons. That's probably true. But it would be cute at least for a while. Now you're right.
You're goddamn right. Oh my goodness. You have moved away. I haven't talked to you.
We just like literally like a week ago. I'm like, Hey, I know I've missed you so much. It's been so, so long. It has.
Oh my God. But not that kind of long. It's been like, Oh, no, like short and stubby without girth. That's kind of that's kind of the link.
Were you are you a girth person? Do you like girth? Yeah, he's a good country artist. Oh, oh God.
That was my spleen shitting into my pancreas. You're welcome. Oh, that's right. This is the pun master.
I'm master. It shall begin well. Pun master. Thank you.
Thank you for that. Girth Brooks joke. Not only is it a bad joke, but it's like 20 years out of date. That's what makes it even more painful.
And I love you for it. It's like me. It's just Jesus Christ. Have you had any play recently?
What kind of play you've been doing? I have had play. I'm in a relationship now with with a local fellow I met about a month ago. And so we started exploring.
I took my toolbox toy box, whatever my case of fun over to his place and did some exploratory. Explorations. It's okay. It'll come out eventually.
Well, myself to introduce myself. What the fuck? So no, Jesus. We're going to be so old today.
So what kind of play do you do? Are you you're a switch, right? I am a switch. I'm mostly a study.
But I can don sometimes I've done like mommy play and other kinds of role play. So now with this, do you do primarily top, bottom or do you guys switch together? We are both switches. So yeah, so kind of play.
Do you do what kind of play? Do you do what kind of give us some details details? Details, details, was there's penetration? Something was definitely penetrated.
Yeah. Yeah, when it was my turn to be top for about 90 minutes, I just kind of ran through, I don't know half of the toys I have in my toy box. So I put a cuffs on all four of his limbs attached to my spreader bar. It attached his wrist to the spread of our two.
So he's like, yeah, you're going nowhere, pal. And which he didn't really want to anyway. And then I hit him with each of the floggers I have and the writing crop and the brushes. So I'm like a sampler.
It was a little taster event in the bedroom. Oh, it's very nice. And then he took his turn. It was all wonderful.
It was the first time I'd been in subspace for a long time. So that was really nice. So now when you go into subspace, some people go into subspace and then they stop and then the subspace actually goes after the play like immediately after the play. Are you a subspace during play and then you come down or how's your subspace work?
It's definitely during and after. Nice. Often a little bit before. So because because I'm a greedy whore because you are a bitch.
That's really what it comes down to. What kind of sex do I like? Yes. Yes.
You're like walking down the street and you're like, I'm going to get my subspace started now before I get there. So you start driving because I'm not going to be good to drive about two days before. Be good. Is conversations I've had with previous partners.
I mean, this guy is new. So but yeah, yeah, be a passenger in a car actually does put me in a subspace. Yep. There you go.
If I allow it that is the greedy whore that is carried that I love. Yeah. Very good. Well, we're going to talk about something that's actually kind of greedy too, but I think it's greedy in a good way.
Yeah, greedy doesn't always mean bad. No, it doesn't. It's just, you know, sometimes greedy is good and sometimes we're not greedy enough with ourselves. Yeah, self care.
So I'm going to read a little thingy to kind of warm up the kids. Most of us masturbate. Some of us enjoy it. It's healthy.
It relieves tension, anxiety increases circulation and feels pretty darn good. No, it's not the same as having sex with your partner. You're into, but it is not shameful or negative and it gives you the ability to touch your junk just how you like it touched without worrying about being greedy or taking too long or your partner. Feelings bad.
If you don't do it right or they don't do it right, orgasms can be less stressful and usually easier to achieve by yourself and you don't have to get dressed up or impress anyone on a date. So if we're okay with masturbation, why is there still kind of a stigma around self kinking, slapping, spanking, caning, nipple play, genital slapping, role play, slave or protocol practice? Carrie and I are going to talk ourselves about some self play. Are you ready to get her done, Carrie?
I am so ready to get her done or him done or them done. All of the done. We're all the done. So have you ever, I know as a top and we'll talk about this in a second, but have you ever done any types of self play other than your glorious masturbation?
Yeah. And I think the biggest part of the stigma or taboo around self play is the safety concern. Okay. Not for me, but I think just in general because encouraging people to play by themselves and if they take that the wrong way, like the number one cause of kink death is self bondage plus fire.
Sure. Sure. Sure. That's not that's not good too.
Yeah. And that's not where that's that's surely not what we're talking about when we're talking about self play. We're talking about caning, spanking, you know, nipple play, maybe some light bondage like tying up your legs. Obviously if you're doing we're not if you're doing self bondage or stuff like that, that's all in other world.
And we've talked about that, but we're definitely talking about the stuff that is not going to kill you type of self play. Have you ever done any of that type of stuff? I do. Well, when I masturbate, sometimes I'll play with my nipples or breasts, which is kind of like part of the masturbation, but it's also the kink.
I've done role play with myself while masturbating because I am a switch. And so I have done it where like I'll be diddling and I'll say, no, you can't have any more until I beg myself to continue touching. And I'll do that back and forth for a while and basically edge myself until like, please, I can't not find and then fireworks. Fantastic.
That you do tease and denial with yourself and you take both the characters. Yeah, because I'm a switch that now then now then that goes into the number one thing that I have heard when people. Talk about self play and doing things to yourself. It's not the same as doing it with a partner.
Yeah, no shit, dummy. That's why it has two different names. You know, it's called self play. It's not called play play.
So yes, play play play play for real world not for play play. Absolutely. Those are Foxy's. Those are Foxy's Funyuns right there.
You know, I'm looking at you play play play with you. I want to play me play play you you now now all the holes. I like to make the fuck fuck. I say that me make fuck.
Do you like fuck? Fuck. Be big. Fuck.
I feel sorry for all my friends in the library letter outside of this crappy thin wall room. Me make fuck. Fuck. There's a guy in the library talking about making fuck.
Fuck. But no, that's delicious dish. It is. But no, it is one of the bigger things that I hear is that people because like they I guess they get like sadness.
You know, like I don't have a partner that can do this to me or my partner's away or I live in an area that is like no kink. And so it's like they kind of associate self play with like some sort of sadness. Yeah, have you ever heard that from people? Well, I've had that myself until this new relationship.
Like I said, I met him about a month ago. I was totally single for a year and a half, which is like for me unheard of because you're all. Yeah. There's that so and I'll and with the COVID not being able to go to a dungeon not having a one to play with being a totally new environment because I'm moving from Los Angeles to Colorado Springs.
Right. It's a whole new world, but there's no magic carpet here. No magic carpet and no no hot. Well, you know, Disney people singing.
I have a magic carpet down there. Oh, girth Brooks behave. Oh, behave. I mean, people have to know people have to know that I literally look forward to us having this conversation because I knew you and I there's no Kathy to stop us.
There's no. There's no. There's no. The stop us.
Fuck you bitch. You should be here, but she's not. So you and I just get to be goofy assholes. So it's interrupted.
Jesus Christ. So you of course have felt the sadness, which of course I think most people relate to kind of that sadness now then where you were doing this role play with yourself and then playing. With your nipples and things like that. You were doing that throughout this time to kind of help you at least have some play with yourself.
Yeah, or sometimes put on some my lingerie. You know, I'm totally alone in my bedroom and give it a little bit of flavor, a little bit of something, something. So or kind of like a date with yourself, kind of. Yeah, but on the wrist and ankle cups, not attached to anything necessarily, but right just just having that pressure on those pressure points feels really nice.
I used to do a thing where I would take my panties down around one of my ankles and then twist them up around other angles. So like they were like I had Panty shackles on. It was fine. I'm not that is hot.
It's been a while. All right. I'm going to do that again tonight, maybe. I think it's on the two list.
Tonight will be some twisting of the panties. It's simple, easy and nobody knows. And that is kind of the fun part that we want to get to is that this is kind of about self care. This is kind of this is another aspect.
And yeah, you don't have somebody, but that doesn't mean it's a shameful thing to have play for yourself. And people are like, well, it's hard to spank myself or whatever. And it's really, I mean, yeah, it's you're not going to be as accurate as a top. If you use like a long swatter, like a paint stick or something like that, you can legitimately hold that backwards and give yourself a swap.
I even tested out this theory to see which, by the way, you want to talk some funny shit. So I'm in storage and I'm like, well, I'm going to test this out and, you know, can you swap yourself? Because you know, I'm curious and I swap myself a few times like really hard and you can make contact with your own, but you can. And the first thing I thought I'm not lying.
I'm like, ow, why do people do that? I don't feel subspacey at all. Have you ever felt subspace? What the fuck?
No, I've never felt top space either. Oh, interesting. I just don't I don't get I don't get spacey. I was a drug addict for a long time.
I don't know what it would take or I mean, it's not really even something that I need. You know, I've never felt like a loss like, oh, I don't get loopy. Like I get an intense focus. And that's kind of like when I do play and you were joking when we talked on the phone, you're like, have you ever dominated a pillow?
And I'm like, all the time. That's all I do is role play. Even when I was with partners, I still role played and kept a relationship with my pillows and and the little bench. I used to flog and goddamn right, I do aftercare and I check in and you know, I talk dirty to the pillow while I'm eating it.
You know, it's it's like a self-robot and just like you where you did that tease and denial with yourself, which I'll get to the silliness part next. It was fun because it was me and I was able to just be kind of goofy. But at the same time from a top's point of view, all practice is good practice. Yeah.
Having things to say coming up with new things to say, even if it's an inanimate object and you're just practicing, practicing your accuracy or whatever, practicing reminding yourself, oh, I should touch my partner, even though it's a pillow and I do it constantly. Like I'll spank whatever the bed or the pillow or whatever. And then you just keep that and that repetition is really good for helping you be a nurturing top when you actually do play with someone. But even even regard.
Similar to visualization. It's like it's visualization plus a little bit of physicality. So it helps so that when you get in the situation with a real human being on the other side, you're not trying to make things up on the fly as much so that you have more tools in your toolbox to pull out and use. No, surely.
And you said one thing earlier that I wanted to also key in on, which is a major, major point. It may not be the same as playing with someone, but to your mind, to your brain, you're still going to have a physiological response, which if you are somebody on the bottom end that has that likes pain, that likes masochism, then your brain doesn't know how many people are in the room. That part of your brain reacts to the stimulus. So if you put clothes pins on your own nipples or you swat your leg with your hand or a cane or a crop or something or you give yourself a few swats, your brain is going to be able to do something like that.
So you're still going to have the exact same physiological response as if somebody else did it to you. So even though you may not have the intimacy and the chemistry with the person and those chemicals released in your brain, which are released when you have a partner and there's a power exchange, you're still going to get something out of it. Yeah, definitely. And even the other neurochemicals like oxytocin, which is like that connection chemical, the brain doesn't understand that it's not in reality, so to speak.
So like imagining the thing with enough detail will convince the brain that that thing is happening, which is one of the reasons, well, you know, this isn't kink or fun at all, but flashbacks. And you mentioned in your notes, PTSD. Yeah, our brain recreates this stuff for us. And in some ways, it's very useful.
In some ways, it does not help at all. But if you tap into it intentionally, it can help. It's not the same as a connection because when you're connecting with someone outside of your own skull, much like this conversation, I don't know what you're going to say next. I know it's going to be something, but I don't know what it's going to be.
And so there's that level of trying to anticipate and being unable to actually predict, whereas when it's me by myself and I, I know my tricks. I know my buttons. I know what I'm going to do. And it's similar to masturbation in that way.
Masturbation for me is like I can hit an orgasm with really good consistency with myself because I have the internal feedback loop, my finger and my brain and my clitoris like they're all connected. Literally, they don't have to wait for communication or feedback or listen for the moaning or you're on my hair. But the one that is a problem. Do you really love me?
Like what? None of that extra shit is in there, which is actually part of what you were talking about this self care. It's not because I got okay with playing with myself. I got okay with touching myself a long time ago.
So at this point, I don't have any sense of this is foolish or this is embarrassing. Yeah. Whatever. Because also I'm alone.
So who's going to know unless I get on a program and announce it to the world? It's your little. It's like dancing with yourself. And that is important to deal because I've also heard a lot of people like I feel stupid for hitting myself, you know, and then it's like that imaginary jury of peers like judging or mocking you, which we all know is really you.
That's your voice. That's a fun fantasy too. So one time, a long time ago, I had a sedness of it and I told him when you're taking a shower, I want you to imagine every water droplet on the wall of the shower is an audience member and they're all watching you masturbate. Wow.
A little expeditionist. Yeah. So I do that sometimes. And then I hear the crowd share when you got that joined together and run down and worship at your feet for your girl nut.
You can't do it. Like we're all there with you. There we go. Oh my gosh.
She's so awesome. She's my hero. So what? I'm having fun.
Listen, if you think less of me because I'm having fun by myself with myself and harming zero people. Yeah, fuck off. Yeah. You probably should talk to a therapist because you got issues.
You should probably just go get fucked. It's really what it comes down to. Play with yourself. Play with yourself until you're over it and then come talk to me.
I think that's probably a good thing. Like, can you make it your own thing? Can you make it about taking care of yourself? Or like in your case, like the fact that I'm hearing you talk about all these things, the first thing I'm thinking, I'm like, you're fucking resourceful.
That's actually a sign of creativity and resourcefulness, especially when you create like weird alien eyeballs out of every droplet of water in your shower. We won't go into the depth of creativity of that. But it's kind of, it's, if you can detach from that voice of shame. If you can actually just say, this is not playing with someone.
It doesn't make me a bad person if I want to slap myself on the thigh or give myself some of the kink that I like, then you're on your way to a better relationship with yourself. And inevitably, once you do get with a partner, I think that better version of you is going to also transfer into your play with your partners. Yeah, definitely. It's, it's a bit like rehearsal in some ways.
Yeah, I would say so. And also communication. Kind of the communication, because you're, if you're really like, you've learned all these things about yourself, then it's going to be a little easier when your partner's like, well, what do you like? And you're like, well, sometimes a corner myself.