So does that song, so is Arlitteau's. Who's fucking low, dude? Don't lick the new microphone, Sonny. That might be all you told me to get really up close and personal.
Well, yeah, I said get up and close and personal with the microphone. It doesn't mean you got to blow it. I mean, it is. It's a I mean, it does have definitely a phallic kind of look to it, like a clown with not complaining.
Don't turn on the microphone. It'll start wavering and then we're going to have all those recording problems again. Don't give in to the idea of opening your mouth wider around the microphone. Ladies and gentlemen, Sonny has a new microphone and she wants to make sure that it works perfect so you can hear her well.
Yay. Sonny, would you like to get into this show? Yes, I am ready. The following show is for mature audiences only.
Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex life is quite lame?
Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky Moles of Play. The Ferdinger. Yay!
Hello and welcome to Provertive Podcasts, a show where we exported the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle sex and the ever expanding human mind. Hi there, recording on Zencaster from Thousands of Miles Away on the East Coast. I'm Sonny. And I am Count Boogie.
Sonny, I am very, very happy that you have a new microphone and I wish you the best in your sound, but that's not what's important. What's really important is have you had any perversion since we last spoke? It's been almost a month. Have I been breathing?
Yes. Yes, I have. Don't rub it in, OK? Don't rub it in that you're perpetual cake.
All right. Be a little gentle. I'm lacking. But you said that you were injured.
Is that a kink related injury? No, it was just an accident. My puppy knocked me over and I smacked my head against the wall and I got a mild concussion. Jesus fucking fucking dead.
Christ. He's a really sweet puppy, but he's big and he doesn't know how strong he is yet. So, but I did still get to do two really fun scenes, even despite the spring. With a concussion and a concussion.
What do you like a pro football player? Like coach, I'm going in. I don't give a fuck. We got to do what the team needs me.
The team needs me. So what kind of scene did you do with your broken neck and mild concussion? So I got to do a really fun hypnocene, which I was topping. I had some difference come over and I was practicing for a demo we're going to do at Charmed, which is a hypnosis convention next month.
And so I got to be in little space and do some sadistic stuff as a top, which is really fun. I don't get to do it that often. And we used bubbles for sadistic sensations. So that was really fun.
So wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Now you talked about the bubbles for sadism, which most of us kind of picture bubbles as being a little more friendly.
So are you talking about like when the bubble hits the skin, it actually kind of in the hypnosis, it's supposed to be painful, like a cane strike or something like that. Right. And I mean, part of the premise of the class and so therefore what we're showing in the demo is that the bubbles can be sort of a vector for all kinds of things for physical sensation. And it's really fun to contrast something that's so like whimsical and little with something that's really sadistic.
So like the bubbles bursting against your skin, feeling like electric shocks or paddles or canes and the size of the bubbles and the volume of the bubbles impacts the intensity and can trigger orgasm and all of those things. What? Yes. So do you like just blow bubbles that are pussy?
The bubbles land where they may. That's part of the fun. You don't know where they're going to land. Oh, wow.
So, you know, you might say it's like a slap and it might land in the face. It might land on kitty. You know, it's a little bit of a surprise for everybody involved. And then I have this like really like the giant bubble maker that makes like the enormous bubbles.
Oh, yeah. So we had like different size bubbles and it was really fun. And then even with the spring neck, I did a doll scene later in the weekend with my daddy. Just not adjustable of a doll, more of a China doll scene with the concussion.
Well, I was basically like, you know, immobilized in the doll situation in a position that was safe for my neck. Good call. Good. Daddy.
Good call, daddy. Yeah. And that was a really fun CNC scene. That sounds like an amazing amount of fun.
And that is fun because you're going to be talking about CNC in a little bit. And you know what? Let's just get to that. So near you ready to jump on this CNC rollercoaster of mayhem?
I am ready. Well, then, goddamn it. Let's sink our teeth into this. You brought this topic to me and said, Oh, I got to talk about CNC because we all know you're a giant CNC whore.
And that is one of the reasons, one of the many reasons why we love you. So let's why don't we just go ahead and like start? Sunny, if you can take me back, take me back to your early desires. When did you first know that you were interested in CNC, which for those of you who are new is called consensual non consent?
We're going to be talking about today. Give me a little of your CNC history. Sure. So really, my earliest fantasies that I can remember were before I really was sexually active before I'd had any sort of exposure to like media or porn depicting anything like this.
This is sort of straight out of my phone. But even at a very young age, I had very sort of primal fantasies about being pinned, you know, things involving force. I didn't even fully understand it at the time. It wasn't until I was a little bit older and had a little bit of sexual development that I started to realize what it was all about.
But it's still one of my favorite things to this day. That I'm just trying to set myself up for this because I can't get all pervy in the Starbucks, like parking lot. I can't be like, you know, if I just stroke myself a little right here in the Starbucks drive through parking lot, that might be good. No, can't do that.
No, no self gratification. For me, for me, my CNC came later. I mean, I've always had like little kinky tendencies when I was younger, but most of my fantasies were like the Prince saving the princess. And then she wants hard anal as a reward for saving her, you know?
So it was a lot of more consensual. And of course, there was like a little visceral and I was always kind of into spanking and certain types of impact play, but it really wasn't until I started getting more into my sexual development and more even in the mic, like my mid 20s, when I started dating people who were really kinky and then hearing them talk about their CNC play and that visceral, that taking kind of gur. And then seeing how they got excited when they talked about it. And then I'm like, Oh, this is not because remember, I went from like, I was still a virgin when I became a Christian.
And so I didn't have a lot of everything that was sexual was evil. So I didn't, and then I got sexual kind of still in that Christian mindset. So everything that was sexual, I had to kind of deconvert before I could actually allow myself to find out what my more adult desires were. Does that make sense?
It does. And actually growing up, I had sort of an odd upbringing. It wasn't necessarily religious, but it was very strict. So I really wasn't allowed to watch TV or be exposed to anything that had a lot of sex and violence.
And so, you know, most of the fantasies that I had were really sort of like just coming straight out of my own mind. You're under praised mind. Yep. That is wonderful.
Another reason why we love you. So now then now then we're adults. We experience CNC. We enjoy it.
What are some types of play? Like I have a whole list of CNC stuff like sleepy sex, where someone just grabs you in the middle of the night while you were sleeping and starts fucking you. Which would also be like grab and fuck when you're awake. You're just in a storage unit or whatever.
And someone just takes you and starts fucking you. Then there's like the whiny no, but it really means yes. Forstain or role play tide. What are some of yours?
So for me, primal play is a big one. If you think about animals in the wild, they don't sit down and have a big conversation about consent, which is not to say that a conversation shouldn't happen before the scene in human cases, but just having that animal stick. Yeah, that animalistic uninhibited sort of free from human taboo, really primal sex. Also, I really like to do qualification with hypnosis.
So sort of bound in my body. I can feel and experiencing things, but I can't move myself or react. So at my partner's, you know, well, and capture fantasies. I've done some really like even a three day weekend sort of captured on the street in a band driven remote cabin kind of stuff.
So and so now for that three day thing, where you pretty much they just used you that for that three days? Our scene was really very like, Stockholm-y like you have to rely on me for food and for the things that you need and you can't escape. You know, you couldn't walk out of here. If you wanted to, it's very remote kind of dependent on your capture stuff.
Oh, wow. It was hot. That's pretty hot. And then of course, there's fake drugging interrogations, roleplay interrogations, teacher, student, avoid failing, boss, you know, any number of non-consensual where you don't want to do the thing, but you're trying to save your job or your family or your prisoner of war or whatever in those types of roleplays.
So now there's a whole list of consensual non-consent things. And I'm sure there's a hundred we missed. So what do you personally get out of that CNC? Like mentally?
What do you get out of it? I know you talk about the visceral and that it's hot, but are there things that are a little deeper than that? Yeah, I mean, I get time-limited power exchange. That's total power exchange.
So while there's some of that in my dynamics and my relationships, usually it's not a total exchange 24 seven, even though the dynamic is there 24 seven. So I get to have that more intense sort of edge play experience for a period of time. I really like the dark age play stuff. I know that's a whole thing of its own, but sometimes I take CNC into that.
And it's really something I only do with a partner that I really trust. And I know it's not a casual thing. And I do find that it deepens our connection. For me, I love the girl aspect of it.
I love the animal me grunting because, you know, so much of my life is faking that I'm smart. Sometimes I just love to be allowed to be the dumb, takey animal where I just take. So that's for me very freeing because I'm always trying to mentally be smarter and figure out life and whatever. And being primal in that kind of CNC environment really does allow me to not be that, which for me, there's a big, you know, there's a big barrier between those two things.
And so that gives me a lot of excitement to do that, obviously, with the big C coming first. And then again, I love the reactions. That's pretty much all of my kink is based on the reaction of my partners. When my partners love to be taken and I know that that arouses them and I see all the reactions and even when I put fear in them, that I know that there's a sick fucked up part of that that's getting or I humiliate them, you know, when I'm interrogating or whatever, that there's a reaction in there that at the base of that, this is something that they really desire.
Yeah. And it's a headspace of its own, it's, you know, like any type of edge play, breath play, I like to do that kind of thing. There's a little bit of extra thrill that comes along with a feeling of dangerousness, which obviously can be mitigated by planning in terms of actual risk, but you know, it feels different to really give it your all completely exhaust your body and your mind struggling and trying to fight and get away. And then to reach that place where you know that you can't.
So now, now that we've gotten everyone all turned on, wanting a master bait in the drive through of Starbucks, because that's where everyone messes. I'm just saying, I'm like, every now and again, I'm getting here, you're saying things. I'm just like kind of humping a little bit, the air. I'm like, oh, yeah, fuck you.
After listening to the last episode, I flogged my pillow for practice. Just did you did you get into the space? Did you get into a floggy space when you have a blog? A little bit, you know, I hadn't used one for a long time.
And I was like, you know what? Fuck it. Maybe I'm rusty. Let's let's test this out with this pillow thing.
And it was kind of fun. I got a little stress relief and you shut out of that pillow. And you did aftercare and checked in regularly with the pillow. No, bad pillow top.
Okay. We'll talk about that later, young lady, because we got to stay on topic. So here's the real reason that we're doing this segment. And it's because something that you told me about when you do your erotic writing and sometimes obviously you write about CNC play.
And sometimes it goes very, very deep and very primal and very rapey as a CNC erotica. And you get some hate and pushback on that. I do. And, you know, I write a lot of short stories that are based on scenes that I've done in real life.
And sometimes I write scenes or rather write stories in order to be sort of like a flirt or a planning for a scene that I have upcoming. Sometimes I'll exchange erotica. But generally if I write something like that, I'll share it. And there's a heavy CNC theme even in some of my books.
So I'm careful to differentiate in the novel specifically, you know, between actual non consent and CNC. And you can see a clear difference. And I do believe that a difference exists. But the toughest thing or the most interesting type of comment I receive is basically an accusation saying you can't possibly know what it's like to really be raped or to be sexually assaulted.
How can you glorify this? How can you write about it? How can you make it so public? You know, how can you make it sexy?
And the reality of the fact is that I have been sexually assaulted more than once in my lifetime and I still love to play this way. Thank first off. Thank you very much for sharing that with the audience. I know that may be a new thing for you to do on a podcast because you're new to podcasting.
So first off, extra courage points for Sonny for talking about that because it is very important because this is where we get into what I believe. The reason for a lot of these types of comments and they do happen quite a bit. You can see a lot of posts on FET Life where there is a lot of people accusing CNC of glorifying sexual assault. And I think it's a largely due to misinformation about actual CNC.
Sure. I think most of the people that are making these accusations. And once again, this isn't about dismissing someone's sexual assault or their recovery or what they've been through personally in their life. We're talking about what is CNC.
And the important thing to understand is CNC is not real sexual assault. There is a C in it. It is not NC, which would be non consent. It is consensual non consent.
It is a complete role play. It is a visceral power. I wrote something. It's a visceral power exchange that mimics specific non consensual role plays while leaving out the damaging aspects of the actual assault.
So it is completely not a sexual assault in a you don't get to negotiate a real assault. Correct. You do not have a safe word in a real assault. Your best interests are not valid or considered in a real assault.
You do not get aftercare in a real assault. Consensual non consent is not real assault because the consent part is what makes the change that we can play with these things. We can play with these visceral things. But it is not.
And I used to talk about this where me and I had conflicts because she said, oh, you know, I fantasize about real rape and stuff like that. And it's like, no, you fantasize about what is hot to you. You don't get those choices in a real assault. Right.
And, you know, another example, but the parallel, but not exactly the same, which is sort of help people understand. I think about in the hypno community, some people do like hypnotic death scenes where the scene is, you know, a pretty sadistic or brutal scene. And there's actually a hypnotic death, like you have the hypnotic experience of dying at the end of it. But that is not a real homicide.
You know, that person is still breathing. They're, you know, they still have, you know, throughout the entire process, access to their safe words. And, you know, of course, these types of fantasies, I do understand that the fantasy of CNC is a little bit rooted in NC. I think it's important to acknowledge that because to say that it's not really being genuine, but just because you have a fantasy about being powerless doesn't mean that you actually want to be assaulted.
Absolutely. Being into this type of negotiated, consensual activity, where, and once again, I can only speak for myself and how I negotiate consensual, non consent with my consenting adult partners. I can't speak for everyone. What we speak on the show and what I speak to you, Sonny, about is the hope that all of the things with the big C of consent are taken into account.
The person's best interest. What are your trigger warnings and escape plan if things get too heavy? How do we handle the before, during and aftercare? Those types of things, I believe, do not somehow diminish the horror and trauma of real sexual assault because I'm spending this time with my partner, not taking for granted, like you said, that some of these things do mimic things that occur in a real assault, but they are not that because we've spent all of this time trying to mitigate the negative aspects of it and just keep to the things that are a real desire.
That's the other thing. I can't pretend this isn't a real desire. My partners cannot pretend that this is not a real desire just because this thing is a horrible thing when it's done non-consensual. Right.
And I think that that's one of the reasons that I get the messages that I see the posts on Fat Life. People can't sort of separate it out. But the reality is that I have enjoyed this type of play. I've had these types of fantasies since long before I was assaulted, long before I was even sexually aware or sexually active.
I'm going to probably have them until I know myself. And I think that to deny myself that type of play, just because I had been assaulted or because I don't want to be glorifying actual sexual assault would actually be to deny myself choice and to deny myself power. And, you know, before and after I feel the same about it, I think that to not engage in the types of play that I want to play in, that make me feel good, that put me in headspace that I want to be in, it would be to give people who have harmed me power to decide how I can play in the future. And that's not power that I'm willing to give over.
Amen, sister. Man, just had to say amen to that one. Just I love hearing that. And once again, we're not going to surely not going to get into the topic of whether or not CNC is a type of therapy.
It surely isn't a type of therapy that should ever replace traditional therapy of unpacking your abuse and going through all of the steps with a legitimate therapist or a legitimate support. I think it's safe to say we're not talking about that. But CNC scenes have been used on multiple occasions after people have gotten their help support therapy and recovery to help retake that power. For you, you're like, I'm not going to let this take any of the power and you just were able to keep going right with that and separate the two.
For some people, I have been a part of some of those scenes where people have done that specifically to take that power away from their abuser so they no longer get to be a part of their sexuality or a limitation of their sexuality. Sure. And I think that each person's experience is different in each person's healing and recovery looks different. And I can only speak for myself if someone has been assaulted and they think, you know what now that I've experienced the real thing, I never want to do CNC again.
I just feel differently about it. That's OK. That might be part of their healing process. Absolutely.
And the people who want to use it to regain power or who like me are just going to say, you know what, I don't want to change anything about myself or the way that I play. I don't want to give power in that way. You know, it's all valid and it's very individual. So there is no right or wrong other than maybe kind of, you know, kink shaming.
And it was more triggering for me to receive a message from someone, you know, saying that I'm glorifying real sexual assault or that they were somehow triggered by something that I wrote than to do that scene. Absolutely. I love how you said that your recovery is your recovery. And, you know, we're not going to get into the levels at some people at what level.
But I am so on board with you get to have your recovery your way. And if, like you said, if that's not a part of CNC and never doing that again or never have done it and then not doing it ever again, if that's your jam, you don't have to, but you can't dictate to people what their recovery is. Right. Because they deserve to have it be authentic to what works best for them.
Right. And, you know, like any type of kink, you know, I think I personally, I'm sort of moving away from the safe scene consensual and focusing more on, you know, rack risk, aware consensual kink. People do things that are edgy that have a little bit of risk to them. You know, accidents or unforeseen circumstances can happen.
But as long as you are having discussion in advance and planning and a sandbox that you've created to play in, sort of boundaries for the scene, I know I say sandbox a lot, but that's what I mean by it. It can be done safely and it can be really rewarding. I believe that the fact that we're talking about this doesn't make things worse. I believe it makes things better because I believe that there are people out there like you that this is a part of their life.
These desires are part of their life. And what we're talking about is finding the healthiest, safest and still most fun, fucking crazy, sexy way to enjoy your life, to enjoy your sexuality, to not let anybody take that away from you, whether you've been assaulted or not. And so I think the fact that we're talking about this type of play and allowing people to be themselves and to say, Hey, there's a way to do this that will limit the amount of potential damage so it can be back to sexy, fucking fun. I actually find that to be more positive than to pretend that these desires don't exist and then repress them and then have them in a lot of people manifest into negative sexual non-consensual behaviors.
Right. And I mean, I would be hesitant to draw that type of association myself because I don't want to make it seem that if you like CNC play and you couldn't do CNC play that you would then go out and like assault somebody or put yourself in a position to be assaulted. I'm sure I hear what I said and I hear what you said in response and I'm glad you said what you said in response. And I don't agree with that either.
But in the general, a rapist is a fucking rapist. It's about violence and control and non-consensual control. And we have a thousand million examples of that. But there are those that don't know how to express their strong desires that are maybe not rapists, but they don't know there are a lot of times where people try to do this type of play, but they don't know how to negotiate.
So what we're talking about is not just about, you know, we're not saying that if you like CNC that you're just a secret rapist, but it, but the fact that we, you know what, am I making sense or am I not making sense? Yes. No, it makes sense. And I think if I understand correctly, what you're getting at is that when people suppress the type of play that they want to do, when they suppress their fantasies, when they feel shamed, when they don't have any outlet, it really takes a toll on people's mental health.
They feel isolated, you know, unwanted and it can result in a variety of negative outcomes. Yeah, that better. Sure. What you said, but just the idea that if we can't do these types of plays and we can't talk about the positive way to do it, then even if you're not a rapist, you can still hurt somebody during sex, you can still harm them.
You can still not understand all of their, their limits because maybe they say, Oh, I'm really into this, but because we're not supposed to talk about anything, then you're going to make some big mistakes. Right. And I think that like earlier on in my own sort of healing process, I was bothered more by messages or comments like that. And now I sort of think of it as a teaching opportunity, a moment for education to say, you know, I am somebody who has survived the real thing.
It hasn't changed how I want to play. And this is how I choose to keep my personal power and to not give someone who's harmed me any more time. And really, when I think about it, like any type of edge play, the people who do it safely and do it well, you know, often there's more discussion about consent, about limits, about safe words, about planning, about exact parameters for what can happen than sometimes even happens in vanilla sex. And it's something that you can engage in with a person that you really trust, just like anything, you know, if you were being suspended or bound or if you were doing breath play or something where you were gagged and you couldn't speak, you were trusting your partner to play within the parameters that you've predesgusted.
And, you know, when I've done a really big scene, like the one where I was, you know, kidnapped in the van and, you know, my daddy took me out to this cabin. We first exchanged erotica, which is basically what you were talking about with. It's not real assault. It's your fantasy version of assault.
So we started with exchanging, what is my fantasy version of being captured and held for three days? What is his version of capturing somebody? We exchanged those stories as a way to sort of communicate about that and then discussed, you know, what pieces of those we were both okay with, you know, how they could be done safely, you know, what we could do to mitigate risk if like someone were to notice the scene going on in public, you know, how could these things be addressed? There was an extra safe word put in place for like when the scene was going to end and we made sure that the trip and the time in the cabin was long enough that we specifically talked about how long did we think aftercare would need to be to really feel okay, to make sure that we weren't going to have to go our separate ways before either of us felt really emotionally ready to do that and we built that time in.
And for us, it was a whole 24 hour period. Right. That is fantastic. And those are the types of things that, you know, that extra work gives you the ability to have extra freedom because if you feel that confidence going into your scene that we've done our homework, we've spent that little extra time.
First off, it's going to build trust because it shows you both actually care about each other, you care about each other's feelings. You just, some people say that that works not sexy. I completely disagree. I think that work is it may not be fucking it may not be the hair pulling and the taking down, but it is it is definitely preparing a headspace so that once those things are in place, you can let go twice as much, three times as much.
Does that make sense? It does. And the process can be sexy. Like it was really hot to write that scene and send it to my partner and to read the scene that he wrote knowing that we had the scene upcoming.
And I definitely think that the fantasy exchange negotiation piece, it can be really hot, depending on how you do it. Absolutely. Sunny, hopefully we have done some, some good. I think we have, I think, I thank you so much once again for being honest about your experiences.
And I think this is good to talk about, even if it's a little messy, I think it's really good that we all be messy together because these, these desires are not going away and I need to have the ability to do that in the safest way possible. That builds up my partners and, and we have good results. Yeah, we cured CNC. Yay.
Now everyone's going to do it. Yay. It's going to be a major in universities from now on. Yay.
I got a degree in CNC. Yay. Wouldn't that be amazing? Oh my God, Professor Boogie and Sunny.
Sunny Boogie, I don't give a fuck what I wrote. That we go and actually you can get a bachelor's in CNC. Miney, shall the lovely, lovely sweet, say it. Also your balls to your lips and play you like a face.
Miney, shell. Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you pumped?
I'm pumped. Let's do it. I'm a poo. I feel like.
Now. Capow. Capow. Capow.
Bluey. Oh, this is going to be so much fun. My Michelle. How are you doing?
I'm doing good. How are you, Boogie? I'm ready to talk about, you know, some stuff that may make people a little uncomfortable. But that's what you're here for.
Hey, yeah. You're the edge. It's kind of turned into that that you are the edgy person. You're the edgy host.
Whenever we talk to my Michelle sweet state is it's usually going to be about some fucked up shit. And you know what? That's OK. I'm good with it.
Well, I think the listeners like consistency and they sure seem to like like I talk to people and they're like, yeah, fucking Michelle's crazy, man. That lady's got a jar of teeth. I don't want to mess up her. That lady will do stuff to you.
And you have some experiences that we're going to talk about in a bit. This is going to be, I pulled a topic off the Reds and I don't think we've ever really gotten into this topic. And it's one that is that literally me, myself, even myself fills me with kind of cringe and a lot of caution. And it is I'm just going to throw it out.
We're going to talk about face punching, face, boom, bam, cuz how we all those little batman signs, c'mow, face punching. And the reason I want to talk about face punching is I was on the Reds, the Reddit and I saw one that Michelle made me cringe. I like cringe like, Oh, wow, this, this doesn't look like a good approach to this type of play. You can find it on the Reds.
So I did. And in a sense, I'm super, super grateful and a lot of great people responded to it. Like sometimes the advice that people get on Reddit is kind of shaky and, you know, just going to get high. But there are a lot of good kinksters out there and some of the people that responded to this post, I actually got to say it.
Like I want to reach out to them and get them on the show because they had great clear thinking about this topic and the topic of consensual non consent in general. So it is good that we have a place for people to post these types of questions. And the basic of this story was my girlfriend and I have been doing like some ass spanking stuff and, you know, that's going real good. But then she's like, I want you to beat me up.
I want you to punch me in the face and fuck me up. Wow. That's what she wants to do. And he's like, of course, as the dude, you know, and you're just doing some spanky stuff and all of a sudden this chick's like, no, I want you to actually beat me in the face.
And he's like, well, you know, like, well, what do we do if I hurt you? You know, he like doesn't have any, it appears this kid is really green on this stuff. He has no experience in this. And he's like, well, what if I mess up your face and she's like, oh, it's okay.
I'll just say that I fell down the stairs. Okay. Yeah. And it gets, it gets worse.
It gets worse. So he's like obviously cautious about this. And then he says, like the other day she pins me down and she says, well, you wait for her, stop being a pussy and do it. Oh, that's not cool.
No. At that point, I am like, run to hells, run, run, run, danger, danger. Run for us. Run.
Run the fuck away. God. No. So I said, you know, I don't think we've ever really tackled face punching.
You know, we've touched on it a little bit on perverted podcast, but I think it's actually a great topic because a lot of people, myself included kind of freak out when people, especially when it's male top female bottom, that's obviously very triggering because of domestic abuse and the social aspect. And how are you going to explain black eyes? And now you're going to go, you know, there's so many things besides the physical, you know, beside the physical risk, which we're going to get into in a little bit. So it's like, but this is something people are into.
And it's not always for bad reasons. True. It can't, it can be a type of cane. People are into and let's talk about, I just want to talk about the post first off and why this was so triggery and red flaggy to me.
And maybe you can join me on some of these. OK. The first thing is there's no real negotiation that's happening here. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it at all.
Yeah. There's no understanding of the risks involved. There's no concern for someone's personal limits and that includes the tops. Yeah, that's not looked at very often either.
I've found. Yeah. I mean, it's like she doesn't seem at all concerned whether he's prepared to do something like that. Or if he's not just physically prepared, but mentally prepared to deal with that, to deal with the potential social consequences, to deal with his own internal struggles of being raised in a society that says, if you hit a woman, you're a piece of shit.
You know, and it's like you can justify spanking and cropping and flogging and stuff like that. But when you're like, OK, now I'm going to actually get on top of you and start punching you in the face, that can be something that is a major conflict. Yeah. And I can see him having like really bad feelings about it later and then feeling like, you know, what have I done?
What kind of person I am and him questioning his morals at some point with this? Absolutely. There, there doesn't seem to be any reliable game plan for when things go bad. Because the idea that someone's going to say, oh, I'll just say, I fell down the stairs.
Like anyone's going to ever believe that. Yeah. Uh, I don't know. That just doesn't sound like a real game.
Not really solid game plan at all. No, no, it doesn't see. Like, or you don't know if she's like going to change her mind later and like use this against the guy. Like, oh, I'm just, I just wanted some am I mean, well, I didn't want you to do it that far.
Yeah, exactly. And we'll talk about that in a little bit. Like sometimes people have a fantasy about something, but they don't know what your level is. Like how hard, you know, they have in their mind, this is what it's going to be.
And especially if you're trying to piss somebody off, like that is the worst thing you can do. Like I want you to punch me in the face, but not kill me, but I'm going to call you a pussy and emasculate you and try to push you into doing this and get you angry, but then expect you to do it at the perfect, you know, not kill me level. Right. No, it just doesn't make sense at all because then you've got your in a heated situation now.
And that's not why that's actually, you know, fighting. Yeah, now you're in abuse. Now you're, yeah, exactly. Yeah, anytime somebody tries to poke fun at me, I literally, or not poke fun at me, but piss me off.
I literally put my toys down because that's I have to be stable when I top somebody. Yeah, definitely. I don't, if I do this from a place of anger, then I'm an angry person. So I have to know my personal limits and I've talked about that on the show a lot.
Yes. And it just doesn't seem like this was something that they were prepared for something like that. I honestly feel like something like, oh, you know, don't be a pussy or the term is that all you can do? You know, those are not good, good ways to get a top to to do better and to get you to where you want to be in your headspace.
That's just a way of for me. I'm the same way. I'm like, oh, you want me to do that's all I can do. Well, then I guess that's all I can do and and that look on their face.
They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's that's that's it. That's it. I'm not apparently not good enough. Let me untie you and go find that magic partner who can do it better.
Yeah, I actually did. I did that to someone once and they started crying. Oh, and I'm like, yeah, I'm like, OK, well, you you can't talk to me like that. That's not that's not how you can say something like I need more, please.
I would like more plea, you know, or something. Yeah, exactly. Let me know that you can take more without being a dick about it or you negotiate that because some people do get really into that and they love that bratty, shitty, challenging. And they are in a headspace that it's for fun.
Right. You know, but that's got to be negotiated first. Yeah, you can't just spring that shit on someone. Yeah.
So let's move on. Now that we've talked about why that didn't look like the best way to approach getting someone to your boyfriend to beat you in the face, essentially, in a non-consensual way. I have my whole life. Like when I first started getting into kink, I had a partner and she introduced me a lot of cool stuff, but then she kind of went away and we stopped playing for a while.
And then she, I guess, met this guy and she would show up to see me with like busted lips, like fat lips and stuff like that. She'd be like, Oh, yeah, my dad, because once again, and I talked about it before, because this was the first time I heard somebody referred to his daddy and that confused me. Right. And she said, Oh my God, my daddy just punches me in the face while he's fucking me.
And it's so hot. I fucking love it. Wow. And I was like, Oh, like does not compute like everything I'd ever learned because I just come out of Christianity and you know, you don't hit women and blah, blah, blah.
And I was already conflicted about the stuff we were doing. Right. And, and that I think is a very common feeling. And a lot of people, whenever you hear face punching, you instantly go to that.
Oh, well, she's been abused or she's seeking abuse or, you know, nobody can be actually into that. And I'd like to point something out that seems very obvious, but apparently a lot of people don't think of when this topic comes up. And that is that every year, tens of millions of people around our planet, tens of millions of them participate in boxing, make martial arts, combat sports, where you are literally punching someone in the face over and over and over and over and over and over. Yeah, totally.
Hundreds of millions of people are warriors of face punching. And we watch and we watch these boxing matches and stuff. So it's not too crazy to assume that if millions of people experience this type of sport where they get punched directly in the face over and over and over, like an average, like they did statistics like on Manny Pacano or whatever his name is against Floyd Mayweather. And it's like, okay, 81 punches landed in this round and whatever.
And then in one round and then, you know, in like some super fight where he just kicked the shit out of someone, the whole fight, it was like 500 landed punches. Five hundred and one fight. And one day, yeah, that's when someone's just basically punching back. Yeah, someone's someone's getting hit in the face a lot.
Oh, so the idea that somebody may like it, why does that seem so crazy? You know, is every, is every, you know what I mean? So that's what I had to deal with because that initial gut reaction of like, oh, this is wrong. Nobody could like this, whatever.
And it's like, wait a minute, millions of fucking people a day across the world are doing this as a sport. Yeah. Yeah, you're very right. So a lot of people and you know, and you may not, maybe not all of them are into the getting hit part, but there is a challenge that goes and a lot of our play, a lot of our kinky impact play is about the challenge or feeling courageous or overcoming something.
Obviously there's a different physiology of what the brain releases, because you're shaking the head while you're fucking hitting it. Right. So who knows? Maybe there's things that are connected in the brain and people like really enjoy that sensation of being punched in the face.
Yeah, it could be just to see, just to push themselves to see how much they can take and maybe the sensation of being hit, being having that, that stars in your eyes, you know, sensation. Sure. Hit like close to the eyes, you know? No, absolutely.
It doesn't sound that strange when you look at it like that. And there are things that people can get out of it. So now it's a matter of like, well, well, why is this dangerous? You had written down some stuff that can go bad about punching someone in the face.
Well, you can get concussions, skull fractures, facial traumas, like, you know, your, your eye sockets, the bridge of your nose, your cheekbones, your mandible, or your, you know, the lower jaw can all get fractured in some way. Um, you can even get swelling over the brain. And then that would also cause pressure in the brain where you would, they would have to like release the pressure. The surgeons would have to go in there and release the pressure or even have to like remove part of your skull to remove the pressure.
Um, brain hemorrhages and hematomas, which can be deadly. No, thank you. And then also you can damage the brain stem itself just from the shaking around of the brain in the, in the swell from the concussion. It can get twisted and you can damage the brain stem.
So a little more risky than a swadd on the butt. Uh, just a tad, just, you know, like a little, a little, a little bit escalated. So there is a good reason for that caution. I think it's okay to have a healthy restraint when someone says, Hey, I want you to punch me in the face because it is a lot more dangerous than most of the types of play that we do, especially because you're punching the face.
Like you said, the brain is right there. Yeah. You're, you're knocking that noodle around. Now then you've had a couple instances.
You've done a couple times where you punch someone. I have. I did one. It was a non-consensual, consensual mid-scene thing where I was co-tapping with another Dom and we were at the end of the scene and she was had her, he his head was on the concrete floor or he was laying on the concrete floor.
Her feet were on his chest and she was pulling his chest hairs with her toes and just talking to everyone else, ignoring that he was there. And well, me, I'm sitting on top of him and I'm acting like moon of pension and I get close and then I slap him in the face and I rear back and I, I, I'm going to punch him and I slap him in the face and he looked at me and he's like, I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. Do whatever.
I'm like, okay, I rear back, punched him in the jaw. Okay. Granted, another Dom said when she was watching me do that, she said my eyes lit up. I'm not surprised.
So I punched him in the jaw and he's like, Wait, wait, wait, wait, I didn't say yes. I didn't say yes. I'm like, well, you kind of did. Yeah, you said, you know, you can do it.
And so I'm like, okay, okay, I went and put my gloves on. I went because I did, I did make sure and hit him in the jaw and not up by his eyes or his cheeks. Right. And I go in there and I look around and I'm moving his jaw and making sure nothing's fractured.
I'm moving his teeth, making sure his teeth is in place. And let me tell you, in the dark, I could even tell that man needed a cleaning. Oh, disgusting. Disgusting.
He was, you know, nothing was wiggling around. You know, I know what a loose tooth looks like and he was fine and I checked in on him the next couple of days and he didn't get very much swelling, but he did say that I hit like a biker. Nice. Yeah.
And the other time was, um, I actually had a guy actually asked for this specifically. And I'm like, okay, we negotiated and I asked him, I go, you know, how hard do you want me to hit you? He's like, Oh, I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I'm like, um, you know what?
I've done this already. I really don't feel that comfortable with hitting you as hard as I can. How about, you know, I bring it dialy down a little bit. He's like, well, you know, you can do whatever.
I'm like, Oh, that's never good. But I did end up having that scene and I did end up punching him again in the job, but definitely not as hard as I did with the other guy. I'm not as much as zeal as I did, but, um, you know, the second one was a little bit better because we didn't negotiate and, you know, checked in on him as well. But, um, yeah, I've actually punched two people in, in the face for play.
And, uh, I did kind of feel bad about it. And I did kind of feel like a little like remorseful, like, Oh, I probably went a little bit overboard, you know, but, you know, I did all the things I told, I told them to ice it to, uh, you're supposed to ice it for the swelling, um, 20 to 30 minutes on, 23 minutes off, just off and on for the first two days after, um, you hit someone and then to, if they get a lot of swelling, I, to elevate their head while they're sleeping, so nothing goes to the brain. Um, and just that kind of stuff. And then if they did get a lot of any like swelling or, or concussion, like feelings that they should go to the doctor.
So, so there are things that can be done and maybe let's move into some of those things. Like if someone's still curious and you've talked about it and, uh, I think the first thing, you know, because it can be unsettling, especially if you've never done this type of play before. And I'll just say for me, I don't do it. Right.
I will, I don't do face punching. Um, like I'll whack you in the head with a pillow. Right. You know, enough to knock you the fuck over.
But as far as punching in the face, I'm not ready to accept the potential, uh, physical or social consequences. It's the same thing with choking you out. Right. Uh, it may be hot.
It may be something you totally want. I'm the top. Right. I'm the one, you know, and I'm just going to say as a woman, people, a woman hitting a man, everyone's like, fuck.
Yeah, you go, girl, fuck. Yeah. Not that fucking boy. Funny.
Right. They don't look at me that way. Exactly. They're like, fuck, yeah, you punch, you have 260 pound, you punched, you know, like say, 98 pound you in the face.
That's going to emote an entirely different set of feelings from society. That's true. That's very, very true. And I'm not interested in that.
Some people are. And, but they're even, if you do have those concerns, you may have to take another road. You guys may have to join a boxing club. You may have to set up something in place that the falling down the stairs thing is never going to work.
No one's ever going to fucking believe that they listen for that. That is a common domestic violence excuse. Oh, I said, yeah, never know. 100 years would they would they believe that?
But maybe if you guys both joined a dojo, I mean, first off, if somebody comes to you and says, I want you to punch me in the face and beat the shit out of me, remain calm and try not to be overly judgmental. I think I did okay. I mean, I was young and I wasn't even in the King's lifestyle. I didn't know anything about negotiation and this stuff.
But I didn't be like, fuck you fucking crazy, bitch. I was I was like, well, what do you like about it? Oh, good. You know, so so start investigating and explore what they're into and why they're into it because there is that thing you want to find out if they're doing it for healthy reasons or well, my last boyfriend used to do it and it just became associated with affection.
You're like, okay, that's a that's a flag. Let's not do that. But you know, explore what turns them on about it. If they've done it before, what were there, you know, discuss your feelings about it.
If you're the top in that situation, these are what my apprehensions are. This is, you know, this is how I feel about it. I maybe could get to this place. It sounds interesting, but ultimately, obviously on perverted podcast, we're always going to default to if you don't feel comfortable doing something and you can't look at all of the risks involved and see yourself in that position when it goes bad, then there is absolutely no shame in you saying, I'm not going to do this.
Yeah. Talk about her is too. Yeah. Absolutely.
Absolutely. And that is like I just said, that's my boundary. And, you know, there's that thing that you're like, Oh, I guess I'm just not that hardcore, you know, I'm like, okay, I'm not hardcore. Oh, wow.
There. Fine. And then that's judgmental for the bottom to do that to the top. Yeah, because they just want kind of what they want, which is a red flag anyway, because they don't care about me.
And once again, if that's what your kink is and you're really into it, I'm not going to judge you on that. I'm just not going to be the one to fulfill that for you. Right. You're going to need to find someone that's into it or start boxing.
Be the worst boxer in the world. That's awesome. That's a great idea. Yeah.
Like literally join a boxing club and go in there and be like, I don't know, I just don't know how to really throw a punch. I don't know what a block. Lock, lock hands up hands up. What?
What? What? What? What?
Come, come, come, come. Oh my God. Yeah. I just, I think I just need to get in the ring every day until I learn how to throw a punch back.
Right. You know, like there are definitely ways to do it. And like you and I talked about, like you had talked about, well, what about starting with like a slap? Yeah, exactly.
Baby steps. Because you can shake. So I do it. I will slap a motherfucker.
Oh, yeah. Same. Same. Yeah.
I love, I love that. I mean, I don't haul off. I'm a big guy. I'll take your fucking head off.
Your hand is probably the size of my head. Yeah, it's a, I mean, I'm not going to say I do good in those because I don't want to be in. I don't like, I'm not a fucking bottom. You're not going to see me in those slapping things, but I have a lot of weight behind me.
So, but still I like getting someone's attention when we've negotiated it and that shakes your head and that rattles your jaw a little bit. Yeah. I know, I know Poppy Ramona slapped me a couple of times in the face and it's like really like it has, it's like kind of swung my head over to the side and it's like, Oh, it's, it's very jolting. Yeah.
So there's definitely babysat. If the person is not willing to invest in finding out what the risks are with the physical risks are with the possible psychological risks are and they're not willing to take that journey with you. That is a run to the hills moment. Yes, exactly.
If they're willing to sit and negotiate and talk things out and they have solid reason behind, behind their kink, then yeah, talk it out and, and it could lead up to the punching in the face. Otherwise now bad boxing, bad boxing, bad boxing. I've had 97 fights. I've never landed a punch.
I don't know what happens, but I'm just going to keep on trying because that's what a champion is. Don't mind that buzzing sound. That's my remote control vibrator. Oh, that's awesome.
You get your goddamn kink on my Michelle. This was a an awkward topic, but I think really good to talk about because it is something that a lot of people are curious about and also a lot of people have a lot of judgment against, which I don't think they necessarily should. No, I mean, like every kink has their, their place and their time and everyone enjoys things differently. So I don't see any judgment for it, but as long as everything's talked about negotiated and you know the risks behind it and you can move forward safely, then have fun.
Amen, sister, say this. Yeah, my show show, three, forty three. If you have questions, comment, love or hate, please reach out to us at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com or find us on cat life, TikTok, Instagram, under the name pervertedpodcast. And if you think the show brings value to your life and it's beneficial to other humans on current, please consider donating five bucks.
If you give a fuck to our Patreon account at patreon.com slash perverted podcast. Oh, my goodness. Sunny, what an amazing experience it was to not masturbate in the drive to have Starbucks, but yet keep all that sexy, CMC tension inside of me, waiting for tonight, possibly thinking about the picture that you took with the microphone, laying across you. Don't think that I didn't see that.
Miss newie. We didn't like it. What? That's why you're mad because I didn't love it.
I'll go back and love your picture. I'm not mad. OK, well, a lot of people love it because it is goddamn sexy and it's on your page and it's on your page and it's you and all your naked glory. And it's just weird because there's a part of me that I'm like, yeah, it's fucking sexy.
And then there's a part I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, you can't do it. Just not going to go there completely. I'll go there a little sufficient. So I love when people can't go up with my photos.
Well, I kinked a little. There was that little floppy turn of my penis, you know, but I didn't allow it to go much further than that. And I'm going to send you like when people send those pictures where they like to have the people's screenshot and then they jerk off next to it. Yeah, that's not your jam, is it?
It's not my jam. I also have declined to sell my panties on several occasions. I would sell my panties so fucking fast. If anyone wants to buy my panties, please hit us up on for a podcast at gmail.com.