EPISODE · Jun 22, 2026 · 50 MIN
343: How To Deal With Your Sh#* So Your Kids Don't Have To with Eli Harwood
from HERself · host Abby and Amy
Growing up as millennials, we were often told not to be too loud, not to ask for help, and to push our feelings down. Attachment therapist and author Eli Harwood joins us to unpack how our upbringings shaped us and how we can break generational cycles as parents. Eli opens with a powerful reframe: our parents truly did the best they could with what they knew. From there, we dive deep into what childhood trauma actually looks like (and why so many of us don't recognize it as trauma), how to build resilience in our kids, and why the way we parent almost always traces back to how we were parented. Whether you struggle with patience, saying no, or knowing when to discipline versus when to have a conversation, Eli offers practical, connection-focused tools to help us show up differently for our kids.Key Topics Covered:What secure attachment looks like and why Eli centers her work on connection and relationship rather than control and behavior.How to identify the childhood experiences you may be carrying into adulthood without realizing they are traumas.Finding the middle ground between raising independent kids and raising kids who feel safe asking for help.The number one predictor of long-term resilience in children and how to actively foster it.Why millennial parents may struggle with patience, and why the birthing parent often has less of it than their non-birthing partner.Punishment versus conversation: how to rethink your approach when your child does something wrong.Why saying no feels so hard for millennial parents and what to do if you want to change that pattern.CONNECT WITH ELI:Instagram & Threads (@attachmentnerd): https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/attachmentnerdTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerdYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@attachmentnerdGet Your Copy of Eli’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az09tHmrRU6NT LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect!HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
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Growing up as millennials, we were often told not to be too loud, not to ask for help, and to push our feelings down. Attachment therapist and author Eli Harwood joins us to unpack how our upbringings shaped us and how we can break generational cycles as parents. Eli opens with a powerful reframe: our parents truly did the best they could with what they knew. From there, we dive deep into what childhood trauma actually looks like (and why so many of us don't recognize it as trauma), how to bu...
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343: How To Deal With Your Sh#* So Your Kids Don't Have To with Eli Harwood
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