345 Trusting Sub Sexy

Hey there! This show is about to bam! Oh fuck! Are you feeling alright, Sola?

A little bit? A little bit? Is life a gotcha down and the dumps you're ready to talk about some wonderful, fun to cheer you up like trusting the thing we don't do? Hell yeah!

Hell yeah! Well then, goddamn it, let's do this show! The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised, and if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.

One, two, three, four! Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? I'm a very mad guy. Scared that your desires might be strange?

I'm a mad guy. Come and join the Kinky World of Play! The Ferdy Lockdown! Well, now and welcome to the Pervity Podcast, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle sex and the ever disintegrating human mind.

Recording on Zencaster from maybe 10 miles apart, I am Solaris. And I am Count Boogie. Solaris, I am excited for you to be here. I am excited about the things we're going to talk about.

I am not excited about the nasal raping that I had today. Oh no, did you have to go have one of those PCR tests? Yeah, yes, I did. Well, is it the one where it just goes in like just a little or did they like literally jam you're like, Oh no, I don't do things half-assed Solaris.

Yeah, let's do it. I don't do things. If you're going to test my schnoz for COVID, you're going to go all the way up to the point where I laugh maniacally and make the nurse literally stop and look at me like, what the fuck is wrong? Because I told her she comes up to the car and she's like, okay, and she's so apologetic because you know she's done this a thousand times and people have punched her and thrown things and screamed and cried and bitch and I said, I want you to know I am going to laugh maniacally like a crazy person.

I like to tell her. Because she, well, she said when she walked up to the car, she's like, who are you? I go cow-pookies. She's like, I thought it was you because they always talk about my name.

Whenever my name is on the list, it's always they always show it because it's a unique name. And so when she comes out, she shoves that thing up my nose and sure as shit, I just start going, Ah, it's so wrong. Why? Why Jesus?

And she's laughing and she's like, I have never. She's like, could you be my patient every day? And I'm like, fuck no, I can't be your patient every day. And then Solaris, she does the other side and I go, ah, no.

And she's like, oh my God, this is almost fun. And I look at her and she's all, you're a masochist. And I go with this thing jabbed into my brain. I go, no, I am not.

I'm the top. I'm a dominant. And she just, I don't know if she knew what I was saying, but she's just laughing with this thing fucking raping my fucking nasal cavity. It was exciting.

It was exciting. But the reason I was there Solaris. And I don't even know if I mentioned this in the last show because the last show I talked about my love fest with you, but I don't know if I mentioned the fact that I knowingly went to have sex with you while she had COVID. Oh, no.

She had, so was she, did she have symptoms? My guess is no. Oh, she did. She did.

She, well, okay, here's the timeline for that. So it was like Sunday that she had symptoms, like a cold or whatever. And everyone's been shot in and whatever. So she calls me a couple of days later and she's like crying because she's like, I have COVID and I'm like, oh, God, damn it.

I booked this room and all this shit. And I haven't touched anyone since July and it's just fucking January. So I'm like, okay, how long? And then we do the math and I go look up the CDC and because at first I'm like, well, I have to cancel because it was 14 days.

I thought it was 14 days, but it wasn't. It's been changing. So now they're like, well, after you show symptoms, probably about 10 days. And I'm like, okay, we're getting together eight days after she's showed strong symptoms.

My dick told me. My dick said it is worth the risk. And I said penis, I usually don't listen to you, but this time I'm gonna. Good.

Why not? Yeah. Goddamn Skippy. I had my 18 shots and I said, I'm, you know, I could catch this anywhere in the library.

And it's, of course, probably a little risky, but we had a wonderful time. But then after she left about three days later, I started feeling kind of lethargic. Oh, no. Started feeling a little, you know, achy, like twinges, like literally nothing crazy, but still enough for me to go, yeah, I don't want to get other people sick.

It's just because I've had all my vaccinations and boosters on K. If I'm carrying it, I can get other people sick and not like I hang out with anybody ever. But so I said, I better go get tested. So I went and got my nose raping and still have a lot of results.

No results. No, I just went to today. I'm still literally twitching my face feeling feeling violated. Well, you did your due diligence.

That's what I did. I'm not a masochist. It's just funny. That's all.

Yeah, you know, the nurse is going to the back and telling that story to everybody for their God. She's like, can you, she literally said, I don't want to sound weird, but can you be my patient every day, which makes me happy? I entertained somebody, you know, because I'm just I am desperate for laughs. I don't get any, I don't get the land jokes with perverted podcast.

We don't know. Everyone could literally just be shaking their head every time I speak and they're they're the masochist. Maybe perverted podcast listeners are the masochists because they just tolerate my bullshit every week. Maybe because they don't write.

Yeah. We'll go. No, nobody's writing anymore. Ververted podcast at gmail.com.

That's right. Get them, Salars. Also, we've been fed life to talk and Instagram. That's right.

Anything special going on with you? Well, in terms of media, some not really, but I also have to play the bottom tomorrow because I have to go have my first root canal. Whoo. Oh my God.

Ouch. Well, I think it's going to actually feel better afterward because I've been dealing with pain in my tooth for four years, but I haven't wanted to go have a root canal. So I've just been dealing with it. As as captain, get teeth ripped out root canal guy, it absolutely will feel better.

Yeah. The sanity that you will have. And so many people we do that. I mean, it's kind of it's kind of metaphorical to humans in general.

Like we avoid literally a stick of pain by having minor suffering for multiple years. Yeah. And I think it's also because they're also going to have to put a crown on later. And I just feel weird with something foreign in my body forever.

I don't know. I'm just I'm odd like that. And I've had so many medical procedures. There should be, you know, a piece of cake in comparison to some of the other shit I've had to go through, but I don't know I'm terrified.

But I keep hearing from people like you that it's going to feel better. It's going to feel better. A root canal is not obviously going to know the can you and whatever and it's going to be kind of stretch your if you haven't done a lot of dental work recently. Remember to start stretching your mouth.

Okay. Good to know because if it's a root canal, it's going to be open for a while. Yeah. And if you haven't opened your mouth that long for a while, it'll get really, really sore.

So start doing like, you're a singer. Jesus Christ. I'm singing. Yeah.

Did you stretch your fucking jaw out? So that way it's not going to cramp up on you, you know, if you're open for 15, 20, 30 minutes. Yeah. Good.

So do you like that? Yeah. Yeah. And then do it at the dentist.

Yeah. But don't tell them what you're doing, but they probably will figure out just a little when they come over there. Hello, ladies. So I was like, yeah.

Yeah. And then maybe they'll just gas you. Yeah. They could.

Yeah. Yeah. But that is a nice one. We have nothing to say for potato mayhem and we just start making up fucking funny noises.

Yeah. I mean, come on. Like COVID has got locked down a lot of stuff. Like I can't go out to these giant parties, especially with Oh, McCron looming over everything right now.

And I know there's a lot of other people that are kind of in the same boat, but we try to make do with with what we have. Yeah. I did fun sex a listener last week. That sounds fun.

That was fun. That sounds fun. I almost forgot about that. I just talked dirty to a random listener called them on the phone.

Sounds dream. They seem like they were in a mood. If you want me to talk dirty to you, pervertedpodcast at gmail.com, I'll pretty much talk to almost anybody. Treat you like a little slut.

That's what I do. That's my new service. That was going to be one of the perks on Patreon, but they said they would tax our listeners. So no, really.

We should get on to the next segment now. Sounds good. That guy helps you deal with mental worries. Let's put the logic on the motor.

Now we're better protected from a King shaming world. For your peace of mind, please know that the author of every post we talk about has specifically given us permission to do so here here. So so we are going to discuss this post by tight sub Eve from that life, which let's stop for a second here. I've been looking at this name now because, you know, we got to talk about people's names.

Tight sub Eve is that. Mainly tight is that vaginally tight. Does that mean she's got the G.I. Joe Kung Fu grip when she gives a hand job?

Does she give a hand job? Does she go and like I just think about these things when you hear someone say tight sub is she cheap with money like me? Is there someone I can relate to? What do you think?

Solars? I don't know. Her profile is kind of more normal. I think that's the thing that's the most interesting about the screen names on fat life is the fact that people have the craziest names, but like a lot of times they're the most normal people, although, I mean, they're some, but that you think.

Well, yeah, but who knows? And maybe tight sub. Well, by normal, I talk like normal in terms of like BDSM standards. Maybe tight sub Eve like traveled up to the Himalayas and learned like ass grabbing techniques.

So like she clawed on the mountain and they put like butt plugs strapped to like bricks of cement and she's like, oh, I'm tight sub Eve and like lifted bricks and then carried them up the mountains like Kung Fu. So she could be like crazy tight sub Eve. You don't know tight sub Eve if you're listening. First off, you will probably never give us permission to talk about when you're posted again.

But after that, let us know. Is it? I'm right, right? I'm sorry.

Go on. Read the post, but I digress. So this was a journal entry called the hope in trusting. Trusting is such a scary concept.

Trusting the right people is life changing. Trusting the wrong people is soul crushing. Trusting someone requires an act of faith. Trusting means being open to vulnerability.

Trusting means giving someone keys to hurt you. Trusting also means believing the best in people. Trusting also means a continual act of risk. Trusting also means an abundance of strength.

It is important to never lose the hope in trusting. Cringe. Like cringe smile cringe. Cringe smile.

Cringe, you know what I mean? I know. She puts it really succinctly. A lot of the feelings about trusting that a lot of us have.

I which I know we talked about trust. I think path girl might just like a couple months ago talked about like trusting after you've been hurt. Yeah. And so like we're talking about trusting again, but also understand that trusting is like an entire genre of humanity because without it you can't have any interaction with another person.

So trusting is a lot bigger than just one or two angles. Yeah. So so I kind of figured because I really like this post and how they really described, you know, some of the attributes and of course some of the fears behind it that maybe we could talk about the benefits of actual trust, like your opinion, my opinion. And then maybe some actual characteristics because people like me make a lot of mistakes over their life and trusted the people they shouldn't trust.

So maybe we'll go over some trustworthy and untrustworthy characteristics to look for. Yeah. That's okay. So first off, ladies and lars.

What do you get like when you look at trust in your relationships, what do you get out of trust with your partners in my relationships? I really need to be able to be completely who I am the crazy bitch that loves to sing random songs at any point in time because I have a radio song, you know, radio and I had and to have people not judge me on that. I really need to have that in order for me to fully trust people in relationships. The majority of relationships that I've had for many years, it's always been kind of a surface trusting because I haven't been able to get to that point of complete and utter vulnerability.

Because I feel judged. So if you're judging me, there's no trust. Right. Right.

For me, trust is really important and it's not necessarily something that I give immediately. I'm very skeptical of literally everybody most of the time, which is probably why people call me cold and mean because I tend to sit back and listen to what people are really saying. And I'm curious about them. I'm curious about their lives.

I'm curious about who they are as people and what they do and how they think about things. But that trust is hard for me. And this is coming up. Yeah.

And this is coming from somebody that has my very first relationship I ever had was a domestic violence situation. So I think that that kind of screwed up my my trusting abilities moving forward. But yeah, that's that's really what I need to have for trusting. What about you, Boogie?

I am like in your relationships. What's it like? I am so on board with you with that freedom to be yourself. And of course, you're talking to an old cynical guy who's been in some amazing relationships and then in some relationships where I have found people to be untrustworthy.

And then of course, there was a lot from my childhood where you couldn't trust anyone because you know blah blah blah blah. Not not the best time. So for me, it's it is just like you said, it's that freedom. It's when you have that moment when you can let go in that trust and you're not constantly like analyzing everything they're saying and doing to find clues to how they're actually going to hurt you.

Yeah, because that's what I do when people have had a lot of pain in their life when they've been hurt when they've been lied to when they've been harmed. There is no trust until you can actually let go of that fear that they're going to harm you, which of course is inevitable. It can't happen. No matter what that's always there.

And that's why it's so good that types of you talked about it's it's a continual act of risk. But at some point I have to kind of do the math and say, well, I can live in this lonely paranoid cynicism my whole life or I can take that risk. And of course, we'll talk about the characteristics and things you look for later that give you more ammunition to trust. But in general, you I do that math and by trusting even when I have that kind of paranoia, it has worked out for me in a number of relationships.

Yeah, that continual act of risk is I think like throughout the course of a relationship that continual act of risk, you're much more able to assess it. And in my opinion, that risk tends to become less the more that you are able to trust someone by the different characteristics that they're showing you that make it so that you can feel more vulnerable and you can open up and you can be your total true authentic self with them. And they can do the same with you. I feel like that risk reduces over time, which makes it slightly easier to then trust.

And I also feel like if you have a lot more people around you that you do have deeper trusting relationships with, not just necessarily love interest and stuff like that, but even really deep friendships people that you really, really trust, I do feel like it becomes easier to trust other people because you can more easily spot the people that are life changing versus soul crushing. Yeah, absolutely. I absolutely agree. And that's part of that math where it's like, look, I depending on how much information you give me.

You give someone and I'm not talking about like, Hey, I buried a bunch of bodies. Yeah, I'm letting you know the statute of limitations doesn't run out. You know, I'm not talking that kind of trust, but I'm talking when you allow somebody to have access to your feelings, like you said, being able to sing in front of someone, being able to do like stupid little things, you know, and kind of be yourself and know that like my vulnerable secrets and insecurities are not stupid to my partner. You know, when you can get to that level and you feel that freedom, it kind of outweighs even if it goes bad, at least I found.

You know, if you get a few months of a good relationship and then they do something shitty, you're like, I'll be fucked up about it for a couple weeks, you know. Well, I think it also depends on what that thing is. Sure. You know, did they lie?

Did they cheat? Did they, did they, you know, tell you they would do something and then they didn't, it really, for me, it depends on what broke the trust as to whether or not I'm going to go back to like the pre pre that incident, or, you know, when we first got together trust, or am I just going to, you know, kind of revert back to the trust that I kind of had at the time because it was something that was just so odd that we know it's not going to happen again. It's also another thing. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's, I mean, that once again, there's so many avenues of trust and when to trust somebody who's fucked up your trust, that's a whole another seven episodes.

Oh, yeah. I'm just saying that's part of that scary concept that the writer talks about. Sure. So if you've been burned a lot, and before we get into some of the characteristics, you know, I have to ask myself, am I attracting untrustworthy people?

Or am I trusting too quickly? And we've talked about that on the show as well, like just released from prison toothless flatter through a methodics may not be the good person to immediately flip on that trust button with there may you have to have that time to get to that good stuff to get to that point to where you can feel free and comfortable. You kind of got to work up to it. You do.

And to kind of pull that back into the mind of the lifestyle. I know that a lot of people tend to trust fairly quickly people that have been around for a long time and or people that are older and or people that are that are in the higher positions in our lifestyle, whether that be somebody that's the head of an organization or somebody that, you know, is the dominant. That's also where you kind of got to hold the trust for like a little bit and really kind of think about these characteristics because just because they're in those positions do not mean that they necessarily deserve your trust because they may not be trustworthy. And once again, having some of those things like a position of leadership known in the community, those may be like good indicators that there's a potential that it's someone you can trust.

But like you said, it's not an absolute there's plenty of people in leadership that have been in leadership for 20 years and are still pieces of shit. Yeah, I mean, I can tell you about somebody that that has been in more not necessarily leadership, but because I've run and I've run several different events, people know who I am. I've also done stuff with Count of Boogie. So of course, people know who I am.

And when people just automatically trust me, for me, it's very jarring on the other end because it's like, well, but you don't even know me. How can you trust me? You don't know if like you may have heard me talk. You may have seen me do xyz, but you don't really know me.

I could be completely untrustworthy. And so I myself as somebody who's in that position really try to take on the characteristics of a trustworthy person because I feel like I have an obligation to people to not be a dick. Well, I think that's a good obligation to have for yourself. I think if you set out and say, my responsibility is to do my best to not be a dick.

Yes. I think at that, at its base, is a solid place to start your pyramid. Yeah, so everybody should start their pyramid there. Don't be a dick.

So let's get into some of these characteristics that are positive and then you can start small, like one of the first ones because if you go online, there's literally dozens and dozens of websites that list trustworthy topics. And some of these I got even from the online. Like they tell others your secrets. And by secrets it can also be like privacy, things that might embarrass you.

And then all of a sudden they're like, oh yeah, your friends are like, oh I didn't know you did this. And you're like, where'd you tell? Your partner told me that. And it's like, oh, why are they telling people my secrets?

I don't know if you've ever had that. But like, yeah, I don't want you to tell the world that I jerk off to Cartoon Trainee porn. Like that's, I don't want the world to, wait a minute. Yeah, you just did it.

Well, that was just a point. Just making a point, you know, to go, let's move on. So you understand the point though. Totally understand the point because I can tell you as somebody who is going to be vulnerable on perverted podcast that I have been that person.

Yes. Sometimes it's difficult to do because our culture values gossiping. And so when you're within a friendship circle of people or something like a BDSM community, which you think is large, it is not. It tends to be fairly small, even though there's millions of people in it.

You end up gossiping and you may not even necessarily do it kind of knowing what you're doing. You're just like trying to fit in with the culture. So really think about that. That gossiping, that trust.

Like, I feel very bad about what I did. This was with a very, very close friend of mine many, many years ago. And we've gotten through it, but you know, like don't do that. You have to be able to keep people's secrets, especially if you're in a sexual romantic relationship with them.

Not everybody needs to know everything. Some things can be kept to yourself. Absa fucking Lutely. And of course, I deal with this on the show all the time with, you know, because I have partners and my partners know that if we do sexual things that I'm going to talk about it on my sex positive side, on my sex positive sexuality type of show.

And so we've talked about what things are okay. And it's still my responsibility. Like when I do something new with new or any of the other partners to kind of say like, hey, I've had both new and bunny and other partners say, yeah, don't talk about that play scene. Yeah, let's not talk about that one.

And that goes to my next point to never assume that your partner knows all of the little nuances and secrets that you don't want them to talk about. Because some of them, you're very excited about what the thing they did. You're like, this is really cool. This I look up to you for something like this.

And it may still be something you're like, yeah, it's cool. I just don't want you to talk about it with these friends because I don't want to have to explode. But whatever your reasoning is, your privacy is your privacy. But you cannot assume it is all of our responsibilities that if you have a partner in your relationship of trust and you guys are sharing things with each other, that it's very important that you say, don't talk about this with other people.

Stop that part of their brain that's like, oh, this is good information to share. Like, is it a teachable moment or is like you said, you know, gossip used to be considered a fucking sin. Yeah, no, not. And now it's a multi-billion dollar in your industry.

It is rampant. It's destroying us. It's destroying me. But it's your responsibility.

It's my responsibility to let people know when you don't want them to talk about something. And then if they do it, obviously you now know that this is not a trustworthy characteristic. Yeah. All right.

Let's get to another one because there's a bunch of them that I list. Okay. There's hundreds. You type in like, what is trust on Google?

And there's millions of web pages that will talk about it from, you know, people that probably have studied trust their entire lives as a concept to just your average, every day, Joe Blow. Well, we are a show for Joe Blows and Joan Blows and J Blows and all day blows. Okay. Here's one on the topic of sharing secrets.

Are you sharing kind of your private things with your partner, but they're not sharing those things with you? Like, are you like a, like, I'm an open book. I mean, I've always been an open book. But have you noticed that your partner really doesn't really tell you much about their private life or their past or who they are or kind of some of their dirty thoughts or that type of things?

Now that could be trust, but that could also be them not trusting you. Yes. So like that could be, you know, it's hard to trust them because you're telling them everything. They aren't telling you anything, but it could be because they're having difficulty trusting you.

Maybe they were hurt by somebody in the past. It's definitely something to bring up with a person if you feel like the person is trustworthy. But yeah, that is a red flag. We're like, it's something you need to talk about.

And once again, like you said, perfect example, I didn't even think about that. Maybe they don't trust you yet. And I'm just like, well, what do you mean? We should be talking about this by now.

And exactly. You said this is a conversation that you need to have. If you have the conversation and they're like, no, I trust you. I'm just a very private person.

That to me is a red flag because you're in a relationship with something. It's called a relationship, which is the joining of two parties together. There should be some sort of disclosure. There should be, but at the same time, so I tend to be the individual that knows literally everything about everybody, but a lot of people don't know a lot of things about me.

And that's because everybody trusts me with all of their stuff, but they never ask me questions. So you as the person who's going, wait a minute, they're not sharing any information with me. You need to think to yourself, is it because I'm not asking questions? I am being too centric around myself?

Or is it because I have asked them questions and they are trying to hide things? That's a good point. You're on the show, so I can tell you about somebody for many, many, many years, many therapy sessions. I know a lot of shit about a lot of people, but they don't know very much about me because they simply don't ask.

Or they just don't because I'm so intrigued by people and by how they think and what they love to do and how they experience the world. I tend to probe and ask a lot of questions. And so they don't think, a lot of people don't think, oh, I need to ask questions back in order to learn more about me. So that's just something that you got to think about.

Maybe I should ask more questions. And then if they're not answering your questions, they're being dodgy, they're being very shallow, red flag. That's untrustworthy. So Solars, have you ever put a Barbie doll in your butt?

No. No. I haven't put it in my cougar either. Oh, do you like things in your butt?

No, I do not like things in my butt. Okay. Look at that. I asked, I just wanted to give an example of asking.

Yeah, so that's why I'm trustworthy. You are trustworthy. Look at that. We're building our relationship.

Sharing information with each other. Sounds great. I really like things in my butt either. It's not my thing.

It's never been my thing. It feels like rubbing your elbow. That's what it's like. Oh, it's super me.

It's just super painful. It's not fun. Oh, oh, well, you just haven't had the right guy be gentle with a finger first. No, I don't think I've had enough pelvic floor physical therapy to loosen me up enough.

Oh, well, that just sounds like too much work. You're on your own. Exactly. Too much work.

I'm a pig. All right. Good. Good.

I think we're moving quite well here. Quite well. Another characteristic. Somebody who is able to control their emotions is a very, and I mean in like a healthy way.

It doesn't mean they're like stoic and they never have a response to anything. But for people who are unable to control their emotions, that's pretty easy to see. Yeah. I think we're talking more about like flying off the handle in terms of being like angry or mean, because somebody constantly crying isn't necessarily somebody that isn't trustworthy.

They just may have a problem that they need to address. Sure. But they are. Well, maybe you shouldn't trust them.

Maybe. Yeah, because I'm thinking like if you're unstable, then what other things are you going to do to protect yourself? And does that include becoming a toxic person? So, but we're, you know, we're digging deep on that one.

But yes, absolutely anyone who doesn't have control over their emotions. And we're not necessarily just talking like control like they're just your average everyday person. You randomly see them fly off the handle. We're talking control like you're having a conversation with them.

Maybe you bring up something that makes them upset or angry and it's, it's exaggerated to the point where you're like, what the hell is going on? Why are you so crazy about this one thing? And if they do it constantly, yeah, that's very problematic. Yeah.

That's, that's definitely not someone you want to. Yeah. You don't want to let your guard down for too long with someone like that. Or you see that in the early stages, like they fly off the handle a little waiter or they bark at, you know, different people, like you see them lose their, their cool with other people.

You pretty much know it's just a matter of time before they do that. Get comfortable enough to do that with you. Yeah. For me personally, how you treat people who are in the service industry, whether that's somebody behind a counter at a Macy's or the person that is serving you the coffee at Starbucks, how you treat other people in the world, tells me who you are as a person.

Yeah. Very, very easily tells me how you navigate the world as a person. I agree. I agree.

It is, it is something, and I'm a rager. I'm definitely a rager. And we'll talk about, there are things about me. The reason I am not available for a relationship right now is because I am unstable, is because I have things about me that in a relationship, like I can play with you for a while and keep my cool and hold it all together for a day or two.

But there are things about me that are unstable and there are aggressions that I have towards humanity and life and myself that I am, I raise my hand and say being not trustworthy is something that can be worked on. Yeah. And there's work that I have to do to make myself prepared to be in another relationship, which I'm not right now. So it doesn't mean necessarily if somebody has aggression or they have things about them that are flags in their life now, it doesn't mean they can't change and become a better person and stabilize.

It just means right now, are you willing to invest in somebody that is unstable? Yeah, exactly. Look at me just outing myself constantly on this show. Isn't that what perverted podcast is?

It kind of is. Hello, ladies, not relationship material, but I'm, yeah, let's put that. I'm refusing to apologize or take responsibility if they mess up. Yeah, that's a big one.

That's a big one. If somebody can come and say, even in like little things, like, oh, my bad, you know, like if something little, I can't think of an example, but if somebody can off the bat start showing that they take responsibility or like, oh, I didn't know that or, or you're right. You're right. I get it.

Those types of things are really, I see those things. I see those things very well. And then of course, if there's a bigger conflict or whatever and the person's willing to apologize, or they were late or they did something that puts you off and then they're willing to apologize and say, oh, that was bad. I saw that made you uncomfortable or inconvenienced or anything that they're willing to say, hey, I'm sorry about that.

I don't want you to feel bad. I think that is a big characteristic of someone who's trustworthy. Yeah, because it shows you that they understand that their actions affect another person. Yeah, which is really important.

Yeah, they don't have that. Yeah, they don't have that. They're not trustworthy. I'm going to say moving along.

Let's just move along. I think we got that one pretty clear. Let's do a couple more. There's so many and there's so many good ones that I just love.

Someone who is less competitive is more trustworthy. And I'm not just saying like in sports, like they're real competitive in sports because in sports, if you're in competitive sports is competitive. But if they can't leave that competitiveness on the playing field and they bring that into your relationship and they're always trying to be better than other people or put other people down and show how they're better than other people, which once again, this is something that I've done. Well, can I add the caveat of or the opposite, they are trying to tell you that their life is more difficult than yours, more difficult than somebody else's that they're, you know, ho hum them.

It's also on the other side of that. It's well, that is competitive. Correct. And it's just competitive that you're trying to show that you're, you're like the most, yeah, the most miserable person on the planet.

Yeah, you are the most, it's still a type of competition. Correct. But a lot of people don't think about that when they think about competitive. Humility means that their agenda is about their happiness over their stature.

And when I am around people like that, and I've been so blessed to be around people with humility. I have so many of my relationships, maybe even if the relationships didn't work out, it was not because of their approach to life and their humility about their place in it and that lack of competition. Mu is a fantastic example of this. Even though she's going to be a doctor, she still has a lot of humility and her agenda is about communication and being happy and taking care of her family and those types of things.

And that makes me much more comfortable around someone than someone that's constantly like, I got to do this and that and that and be the best and beat everybody. And does that make sense? Yeah, it totally makes sense. Totally makes sense.

It also means they're not a know it all. Yeah, you can't really trust know it all is because I don't know, it's so surface that you can't get through to them. You can't, they don't, they literally don't care what you have to say. At least that's been my experience.

Kind of because they know it all. Yeah, they know it all. They know it all. I already know it all.

I'm a know it all in a debate, but I will and have hundreds of examples where after the debate kind of quells and then you shows me why I'm an idiot via information and facts or other people show me that I will back down and say, all right, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm wrong. But in that in that moment, I do like to debate and I will debate for probably a good five, ten, you know, minutes until you show me some facts and then I'll say, all right, I'm an idiot. I don't know.

I don't know shit about anything. Especially being trustworthy. It was such a cringy topic. Well, you were the one that chose it.

It's true. I did. I guess the important thing is if I have a lot of untrustworthy people in my life, then why am I attracting untrustworthy people? Yeah.

That's a whole nother topic. But I would say in any scenario, don't get in the van. Yeah, don't get in the van. Otherwise your hands are going to get chopped off and you're going to be left on the side of the road.

That's the moral. The story. Baby steps. Learn, watch, listen, ask and then enjoy that freedom because I think the freedom is worth it.

I think the risk is worth it when you actually take some time to let someone build that trust. When you have it, it's a wonderful person to be around. It's time for my goofy friend, my goofy friend, Barbie, Toby, goofy with. I get so excited.

I totally told Kathy I talked to Kathy a few days ago, like a week ago and I told her that you were on the show and she was all excited. And then I said, ha, ha, you're not there to stop us. It's completely stupid as we want. So I look forward to she's just like, I can say nothing.

I'm all bitch. Get on the show. What? You eat here?

We're going to run a muck. We're going to run a muck. Carrie, that's what we do. Yes.

Carrie, have you had any kinky fun this since we talked last? Yeah, I had it. I've seen where I was forced to orgasm multiple times. I know it sucks, right?

God, I would have defended you. No, you wouldn't lie here. I would have said stop this torture. I'm not that fair maiden.

You would have aided and abetted. Probably I would have sat with some Cheetos. And I probably would have said please. Probably.

You know, I just put my feet up on a chair, get some Cheetos, and I'm like, y'all go about your business. I am Switzerland. I do not intervene. Is it Switzerland or Sweden?

That's neutral. I think Switzerland, which is why it's funny that there's a Swiss army knife. We're in army. We don't do anything, but we've got a cool gadget.

We've got a killing machine. We shall pick your teeth, block your eyebrows. There's a fork in here too. And we shall open your wine.

So during this orgasm, tonight, or not tonight, this orgasm, this orgasm multiple scene, was that the only thing or was there some hitting, some ropes, some stuff off the pewter or the kooter? What? He tells me. There was definitely some stuff off the kooter.

Good. Good. Kooter stuff is good. Which I'm not allowed to call it during a scene, by the way.

That is a red. You're all, I like what you're putting in my kooter. That is not a letless. You're like, oh my God.

Oh my God, you're making my kooter feel so good. That's a verb button. You've got not in shots. Don't say kooter.

Okay, got it. But, you know, there were some fingers. There was some kind of rib to do thingy. You know how my brain works, which is on multiple tracks at the same time.

Yes. And so I was like, oh, this feels so good. This is so hot. Also, it sounds like speed bumps.

At the same time, dear brain. Thank you so much. If he would have held up like a 25 mile an hour school zone sign. The long and the short of it was I had a lot of fun.

And then I was so exhausted at the end, I would just burst into tears. I was like, I have nothing more to give. You poor poor dear. And then I got held in snuggled and it was wonderful.

That is nice. That is nice. And yay for Carrie Kooter. So moving on to some joy.

I have a sexy story to tell you, Carrie. Oh, you do? Would you like to hear some story time? It's very brief, but it's story time for Carrie.

Good short attention span. It is. It's pretty short attention span. I'll put on some music in the background.

You won't be able to hear it, but I'll put on some music in the background. And now I'm going to tell you a story. Carrie once long ago. There was two very horny submissives and they were sitting on a bed alone together in a bedroom.

One submissive turned to the other and said, what do you want to do? And then the other submissive looked back and said, oh, I want to do anything you want to do. And the other submissive said, yeah, me too. And then they looked at each other and they looked at each other and they intermittently blinked their eyeballs together.

And then they watched an anime, fiddled on their phones, and they both went to bed. The end. I got a letter from the Reddit that we're going to talk about today. That kind of goes along with our lovely story.

The Redditor writes, can two subs work in a relationship? I'm a subgirl and I have only dated Dom guys in my time, but I've recently started dating a sub guy and I really like him, but I'm hoping we can be sexually compatible. And today, Carrie, my dear, my sweet, my Latin percussion vagina, I was wondering if we could chat a little bit on the possibilities of having two submissives in a relationship and how would they make that work or do you think that it's not going to work? Short answer is it's not going to work.

Now, there are ways to work around that, but they usually have to involve somebody else. I believe you can absolutely have connected chemistry in your sex with somebody, but it will not and it might even have kink in it, but it will not have the power exchange because not everyone, every sex they have has to be dominant submissive extreme power exchange. Some people they do. If this is an extreme case, then you absolutely are going to have obstacles unless you're willing to be flexible with poly.

But you can have good sex with somebody even if it doesn't have a power exchange. Yeah, so I'll parse that out because the question was actually hopefully sexually compatible. Sure. Yes.

It's called vanilla and vanilla. It is delicious and it is a wonderful base for all kinds of flavors. If the person asking the question was only asking about sex, sure, of course you can. Here's another layer.

What if they're actually both switches, but they just think that they're submissive like I did for the first six years of my life in a kink. I think that is a fantastic point. Turns out I'm actually a switch and when I'm on top on good edit, but I'm primarily a submissive. And so like I have to be in a certain mood to be the dominant one.

I think you make a really fantastic point there that it is possible, not guaranteed, but it is possible that as you evolve with your partner and you discover more and you communicate more, many, many people have started out one way or the other and found out that they have actually a lot of enjoyment and or strong tendencies towards the other side, you know, or just being that switch where sometimes they're one and then sometimes they're the other. That can absolutely be you if it is something that is inspired. That is actually something you find or because some people start out as one way and I'm sure you have experience with this. You start out one way because you're kind of told, oh, this is what I'm supposed to be.

And that used to especially be with females or sub, males or doms, you know, in 15, 20 years ago and back, you know, a lot of people were just told, oh, when I was your age. Yes, but if you have to fake it, you're not it's not going to be a power exchange. If you find out that you can do some switchy things, if you find out that you have a dominant side that you enjoy taking that power from somebody, then absolutely discovering that will make that work, but you're never going to be able to fake a power exchange. You can talk.

You can provide kink for your partner. You can negotiate certain aspects of kink and then be an incredible service bottom. You can be a very skilled kinkster. You can learn canes and floggers and ropes and do it specifically as a service to your partner and they can likewise do the same for you, but you can't fake that power exchange.

It's almost psychic in nature. So it's like really deep. So like a deep method actor might be able to pull it off because they're like, what is my motivation as a dominant? Oh, yeah, to get my way.

Of course, I want to get my way for Foxy. Like, it's wonderful to get one's way. Just go for that. I'm dominant to my taxes.

Oh, dear God. Now, then, if you do not identify with that power exchange side, if you do not develop that tendency, that desire, that inspiration to dominate your partner, if you have strong, if you both have strong desires to be dominated, you're going to have to be a little bit flexible with bringing in other people that can. Now, then maybe it could be something you do together, like depending on how monogamous that you feel you need to be with each other, you could have a non-sexual co-botoming or you guys can co-bottom to a dominant top and not allow any sexuality in the scene, but just can't, but you're doing it together. So that way it's you guys both enjoying the skills of the dominant taking control of the situation.

That's one thing I know people have done. Yeah. Oh, by the way, that is super hot. You've done that.

I take it. Yes. I had a scene several years ago where I was tied to my fellow submissive and we were instructed to take the pain and give it to our other person in the form of fighting. And so I got my ass beat.

I bit him. He had his ass beat. He bit me. Oh, my God.

It was so hot. Yes. And then we all came and it was wonderful. Wow.

Yay. But yeah, there are definitely things you can do if you are somebody that you can handle because a lot of people in the lifestyle that deal with this, either they're both top doms or they're both sub-bottoms. There has to be somewhere to get that power exchange from. And I know a lot of, not a lot.

There's definitely more two bottom couples that I've known than double tops, but I do know a lot of double top couples. So they have different set of rules that they have negotiated for being able to play with a submissive. And that can be anything you guys negotiate. That can be anything that you are both comfortable with in that negotiation.

But it absolutely is possible. I mean, I did or you can be in a triad, which is like what I've had multiple times where I was the dominant and then I had two submissives. Yeah, it's great. And it's just, it's about having enough mental flexibility to think outside of the box, whatever the box is for you.

And it's the sounding way dirtier that I did. Think outside your box and then put it back in your box. As I've grown in kink and sex, my box has gotten bigger. Oh, yeah.

That couder. Yes. So there's lateral thinking, like what are all the possible options? And then once you've listed everything you can think of, whether it's good or not, then eliminate the stuff that won't work or figure out why won't this work and what work around is there for that.

So it's like, I want us to be sexually exclusive, but not necessarily in terms of the power exchange. Okay, that's a workaround. It doesn't mean we can't include someone else. It means we have to have these boundaries set in place, communicate them clearly to the third person.

And if they're not okay with that, communicate it to a different third person. And if they're not like, come on, rule 34 applies to real life way before the internet came around. You can find someone who's into that shit, whatever it is. You just got to keep trying.

The base of this, you really like this person. You develop feelings for this person. There are many things about this person that you want in your life. So sex is just one aspect of your relationship with this person.

And if it's somebody you really care about and they have a lot to offer you in a lot of other ways, then it's at least worth exploring. If ultimately you can't come to an agreement and you're not getting your needs met and it's to the point to where it's just not worth it, then it's not going to work. And you have to be adults and say, this isn't working. We can remain friends and go about your life.

And then put more stuff in Kerry's Cooter. Yeah, that's always a good go to. It's just if you prioritize friendship and humanity and just respect, then whatever else happens, it's all gravy. Gravy coming out of your Cooter?

Sometimes. The end. Well, Kerry, I think we cured two submissives in a relationship, making it work. Yeah, I just want to say, you can't do it or at least try.

If you have any questions or comments about this topic, please email us at pervertipotcast.com. Kerry, it was wonderful to be goofy with you again. I love you. I love you, Marc.

We have so much fun together. Will you come back next month? Yes, I will come again. I'm being your vibrator.

I understood. I was clear on that right away. Whatever. I'm a good vibrator.