There's a little cup of tea that head leave horse For Kapi and me and me and we adore We adore And the Bama Gatsha's Button Come on shake it Come on Kathy Kathy Yes? I am totally working on a big booty shake and dance track right now Oh god And if I finish that track, can I get some video of your nice big ass shaking? Look, the last time I allowed you to record me, which was I think two or three times, it did not go well for me So I'm gonna say a hard no Oh god damn it Will you just will you give me emotional shake support? Yeah, that I can absolutely give you Okay, well you'll just like shake the microphone I probably would sound bad if you like Okay, never mind Never mind, I'll find big ass shake hearts Okay The following show is for mature audiences only Listener discretion is advised and because you are responsible for yourself There won't be another fucking warning One, two, three, four, we have a few legal six life misquite Game Scared of the joy of desire might be free And 30 bucks Hello and welcome to perverted podcast The show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle Sex and the human mind Recording live again tonight after three tries We finally got on to Zencaster, I'm Kathy I am Count Boogie, third time is a charm Goddamnit Kathy, I am excited I had a lot of fun this week I have like, which for Count Boogie is a very strange and unusual occurrence It is I have had a lot of fun, maybe not sexually But I'm back in the music zone, Kathy What?
The music zone leads me to a confidence that then puts me in the I need vagina mode Ah, music leads to vagina is what you are saying I have no confidence in my own because I'm kind of a piece of crap right now So when you tell these stories and you build up and then you start envisioning yourself Kind of like, you know, dressed up art kind of thing So when I do these songs, I'm picturing myself successful and making something work And then I get kinda like, yeah, then I'm gonna get groupies I better get myself in shape for that, I better start eating a little bit better Gonna go buy some clothes, so I've been buying clothes So I've been doing it, I'm looking for a female singer I need female singers that are hopefully local to the North Hollywood, Los Angeles area Because Kathy, I just wanna say, and I don't wanna judge anybody Okay My female singing voice, not that impressive I'm not gonna say I'm surprised Boogie, I can't lie Not passable, not good, funny Definitely Oh baby, shake it baby, it's definitely a thing It's something, it's something But it doesn't quite give me that Adirave people rolling on ecstasy, jumping up and down Women in thongs, shaking eight, guys fucking throwing beers in the air It's just my voice, I don't think inspires that in a feminine way I don't, I would not imagine that Boogie singing falsetto is going to inspire anyone sexually I mean the Bee Gees pulled it off for a long time You know, I think Bee Gees are the only group that could ever pull that shit off That would, yeah, and that was also 700 years ago, so no So I'm looking for female singers, and I'm just, I feel good because I'm in that zone I feel creative, I feel like I'm doing something The new show format has really just opened up my ability to kind of be creative And so it's just, I don't know, I feel good I'm just surprised and very happy to hear you talk like this I know that music is at the core of yourself and your creativity So I'm really happy you're getting back into it The music sucks, but I just didn't say it I'm not saying it's good, I'm gonna put a new song on the end of the show It's not a great song, but you know But it's mine, and you didn't write it And most people can't write a song at all So fucking suck it up and just enjoy that there's a process that you gotta write some that are experimental But I learn things, you know, so that's what the end of the show is for And I talk to people about that, because people are like, why don't you put your songs earlier in the show And I'm like, because they're songs, and this is perverted podcast And so... You know, you have these hard and fast rules that I don't understand When you have a people listener is actually saying to you, why don't you put it at the top of the show It means they wanna fucking hear it, you always put your own Well, it's not, here's the thing, they are capable of moving the cursor to the end of the show The reason I put it at the end of the show is because perverted podcast is about king sexuality And sexuality relations and that stuff And then me jerking off shouldn't be like in everybody's face because, yeah, some people like some of my songs Which I'm super grateful for, but it's not that show So I wanna jerk myself off So I just do it at the end after all the closing whatever So that way the people that are here for King and BDSM and stuff Don't have to go, oh, here's this guy that wants to be famous and he's not And now we have to suffer through, you know, this song So you're pulling a Louis CK, you're gonna jerk off at the end? I'm gonna jerk off at the end, oh my god, I love you You know what, if Louis CK could have just been honest And could have just started like the Louis CK jerk off tour 2021 I think he did that No, no, no, where he actually hires somebody to like, because this is my dream for myself when I'm in the lottery by the way To like hire somebody to like say, hey, I like jerking off and which to us is kind of tame actually But that's his kink and let him have it. So he doesn't essentially, that's the important thing But like if he had somebody like hired somebody to screen people, screen women Because let me tell you something, if you're famous, there's somebody that wants to see you jerk off That's true It doesn't matter, man, woman, I mean you can fuck a guy or a girl at a gas station or at a bar and that's whatever But if it's someone famous, especially someone you admire or you know, you really appreciate their talent You're like, I'd fuck them or let him jerk off on my feet or something like that Like I'd let Louis CK jerk off in front of me.
I think he's great. Okay, that might not But you know, yeah, you would not don't say I would, but you would Would you? Well, that's great We already have one Louis and so he does the show and then after the show he just has three or four consenting women backstage That will let him jerk off in front of them Unless this kink happens to be that it's got to be someone who doesn't know what's going on That's called rape and we wouldn't want to encourage that that would be that's that's where it would get unethical But I don't think he wants that because he said that's not what he wants and he did apologize for the misconception But then we talked about Louis CK Yeah, that's what it was And everyone shut off from the show Oh my god That life is the place where you and the corn's play But then they fuck each other in the ass with their horns Cause that's the kind of freaky shit that happens on their life For your peace of mind, please know the author of every post we talk about has specifically You know what I shouldn't even say anymore because I'm not the one reaching out to them anymore I'm assuming that you got permission boogie, but I certainly didn't Oh dear god welcome back Kathy brat I miss being a brat on the air Well you're back Boogie did you get permission from Juicy Rose Vixen? Yes I did, it was either me or Pat girl Pat girl, yeah, I guess we got permission She wrote a post called When You're Vanilla Friends Don't Understand I Love This Post Shall I Proceed Boogie?
Yes indeed Alright, she says I'm very open with my friends when it comes to my kinks When they ask questions I answer them to the best of my abilities To try to get them to release the stigma of what society has put around BDSM When they ask hey I want to know more about what you are into It's kind of hard to explain how I like to be beaten until I'm black and blue How I like to be degraded and have Sir tell me that my body is there to take whenever he likes I see the concern which I can understand because it's hard to grasp something that is a new concept I don't fault them I can't answer all the questions that I can until I'm blue in the face But what I have come to realize is that they will never understand why I like the things that I like I love my friends to death but sometimes I wish I had friends that I can go Hey guess what happened last night? It was amazing and fantastic Then proceed to tell them because I am just really happy and want to share my experiences without being judged Or talk down to like it's a problem Oh my god! And how many of us have experienced that? Two all of us I don't think I've ever heard of anybody who has been open to their family and friends and co-workers And everything has been gone fabulous I don't think it happens No, I mean at best like with my dad and whatever It's just like good for you we don't have to talk about that That's literally the end of it and then I have to respect that This is we've talked about this on the show and it's a great thing to review Because it's important for all of our newer listeners and people that are maybe new to the King community To understand that this is a real conundrum for people That when you come out you're excited about your King, you're excited about who you've become What you've discovered that freedom and of course the people you are closest to The people you want to celebrate their achievements and successes in life And you want them to celebrate yours with you And in this one they just don't get it Oh!
And what's a real problem is oftentimes what happens is we try to treat In this case we'll talk about friendships We kind of try to treat our friendships like monogamous relationships To where everyone has to do all the things on the list Otherwise it's not a perfect friendship Does that make sense Kathy? It absolutely makes sense And if I had said something like this you probably would have gone all up in my face and said Don't be so pessimistic but I agree with her 100% when she says I've come to realize that they will never understand why I like the things that I like And they don't have to No one is obligated to understand or be okay with something just because you like it That's perfectly fine But even my most open-minded friends will never fucking understand why I like to be spanked Why I like to be tied up? Why I like to be put in my place and treated like a whore? They're just they're not gonna understand it And rightfully so if the average person came up to you and said I like it when my husband beats me You know call the police or try and get them in a program because that's just not right In our minds we don't it's hard to the average person to understand and fuck the average person It's hard for me to understand boogie If my friend came to me and said they said they want me to do this and I like it And it gives me a bigger orgasm I'd be like whoa slow down there I need more information before I can decide if this is okay and if this is not abusive I would I would grill them I would need to find out and even then I would be a little bit skeptical because Unfortunately, we're playing with fire this kind of shit is Frought with the potential to go bad if you don't have strong boundaries and they don't have strong boundaries And you don't know yourself very well and all it takes is a little weakness on one side of your character Which is perfectly normal and suddenly you're being taken advantage of you're not advocating for yourself You're being harmed in ways that you did not expect it's it's a tricky tricky game.
We play boogie indeed Kathy You are correct and I agree with you. I don't know why you say I'm always gonna disagree with you I'm like, oh, whatever I get at or never gonna understand you. Well, why you be so busy? Well, okay, that may be sometimes it's true But in this case no it is true and I'm gonna go back to the home of nogamous thing And that's the wonderful thing about having multiple types of friends that you accept that you know friend number one is maybe not Gonna take satanic blood ritual nut punching, you know Well, right but the other friend is gonna be like oh my god.
That sounds hot Tell me more and it's and it's making peace with the fact that they're not bad people just like you said some of that comes out of genuine Concern and concern from a point of view that they don't they don't relate to what you get out of it Right and they don't relate to the fact that maybe you're in an entire community of people that talk about consent negotiation and how to do it Well and explain your visceral nature and all those things But they're not but that's what is important about having other friends people that you can relate to about those things So the friends that you love in a door You can relate to on all of the things that you do and then you have to leave some of those other topics alone You and I have to do it all the time Oh, yeah, I have to do it all the time and it's a struggle because there are surely things and I'm like oh God Kathy Would be so great at this I wish she'd like this but she doesn't like and at some point if I continue to push which I I hear myself saying this and I'm like, okay, you're not perfect at this Because I can push so types But if you do continue to push things that you know the other person can't handle or isn't into you're the dick Yes, you're the one that's pushing you out But if they keep telling you if your friends keep telling you no no I can handle it I can handle it and then you start to talk about it because they said they could handle it when in fact They can only handle to the exact limit that they can handle and then after that you've blown them out of the water If they still belittle you then they're the dick So it's really just accepting if you've had a number of these conversations with people and it's just not getting to that level of Well, I don't understand But I love you and it sounds like you're really doing your best to do it right and take care of yourself If you can't get to that point then you just have to learn to accept that and let go of having that conversation with your friends Yeah, I mean in the same way that you're friends You mean let me not be comfortable hearing what position you were in last night when you had sex with your husband There also may not be a comfortable hearing that you're dominant, you know beat your but so much that it's all black and blue the next day And you don't have to share it so I get it boogie. I want I succumb to that too I was so excited when I came in the community so relieved to finally be around people who I didn't have to explain myself to so So just elated that I was finally getting a chance to let out the side of me that I've never had before that I started telling my friends and family about it And I thought I was careful But my excitement in my exuberance got the better of me and I gave more information they were comfortable hearing and I learned the hard way And I mean the hard way in that it made everyone uncomfortable like it They didn't reject me But I learned the hard way that that I needed to fucking keep my mouth shut that that as much as I wanted to share with everyone How happy I was that I needed to mature and realize yeah, you can't fucking do that you can't push your shit on someone else Respect the no-fly zone. That's right. That is it.
You're you're going over North Korea. You're gonna get shut down They're gonna drag you out of the plane. You're gonna go into a North Korean prison camp You're gonna eat rats as a delicacy over the cockroaches you normally eat and the cockroaches have herpes Don't don't do it. No, it's back the no-fly zone I think GC Rose Vixen wrote a great post great post Yes, I witnessed a giraffe today that I believe was a dendrophiliac a dendrophiliac.
What is that boogie? Well, we've talked about it on fetish roulette before that is someone with the sexual attraction to trees Oh, yes Yes, I do remember that one and I watch this giraffe this large male giraffe Literally lick the knot of a tree for probably about 20 straight minutes like it was a giant fucking woodclit and wouldn't stop I mean, maybe I mean they don't necessarily have the practice salami that we use as kids for kissing So maybe maybe they use the tree as practice or the giraffe has a boner for trees or yeah They very much like to get off on trees like you know We don't kink shame here at no prefer the podcast. Yeah, glad you can remember the name of the podcast so easily Glad that just rolled off your tongue. I'm sorry.
My head is in is in like animal sex. I'm so sorry We're gonna talk about that enigma. Do you have any magic in mayhem? I mean, I saw I saw some things today at the zoo But did you have any like people people sex stuff?
I have a little bit the partner that I've talked about before We've been getting together pretty regularly these days and the last time that I was at their place I I made them come so much that in a very gasping voice I got them to say a version of I've never come that many times in a row before oh the man Oh, you earned mega man points. I did it was very exciting. Oh Congratulations, congrate because I mean it takes two to tango obviously She has to be in a place where she trusts you enough to to come that many times But the effort which we're gonna talk about that in a little bit But goddamn kudos congratulations to you and her so she had a real good time was it fingers was it mouth? Did you tow fucker?
What did you do enigma to make her cuz the listeners need the perverted? Podcast listeners need to know how you love God at her. Oh, well, of course So we started out with some oral it's something that they specifically requested they wanted a good Time of oral and lickin. Yes, a very good lickin But this particular partner I know is very Penetration focused when it comes to actually coming and so you know the oral was the four play and then I grabbed one of their toys and Just started going like nice and slow getting picking up good tempo But yeah, it was definitely like pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing they would come and then once they got to that point I would give them a second be like you doing okay.
Yeah, okay, and just keep going. Oh, yeah Yeah, they were a nice coming puddle of goo when I was done that is good in that and we'll have another topic on that which is You know multiple orgasm training and working through shorter and shorter times of that female refractory period Because it's a thing and I've done it with a lot of partners and it definitely is a thing You can keep and it may not be like legitimate multiple polls where you have no refractory period But there definitely is an ability to push through that sensitive part and to be able to keep going and then of course You just can't keep coming right exactly well. God damn enigma That is good news and once again kudos on her and kudos on you for bringing that magic, but now enigma We're going to get in the perverted podcast time machine And you are gonna take us back to long ago to all the lithic periods to the crustaceas and the mustaceas and the kuleo bring us back To dinosaur 11. I'm gonna take us back to Jurassic and beyond so this article comes from cnn.com Specifically cnn world and is that the article is entitled the mysterious sex lives of dinosaurs Have to tap into my Jurassic Park there.
I'm sorry. I don't know should we roar I don't know what dinosaurs how they vocalize But I'm assuming they barked or something. Yeah, there's definitely some prima lino is going on here for sure So dinos for sure had sex but with all of their armor and spikes how that occurred isn't as clear There are fossil records or there are no fossil records of them getting it on other than a pair of turtles stuck together while doing the deed Although with modern science I saw that picture like that is like a bummer like two 37 million year old turtles were fucking and then got buried alive That's a yeah, what a way to go It definitely it looks sad. It definitely sucked Although with modern science we are starting to figure it out We have been able to get an idea based on modern animals about mating rituals specifically birds body feathers or spinal differences between the sexes That may have been used during mating calls or dances Like we are looking at birds more closely and how they interacted sexually like in bird for play They will often bring gifts to their mate like rocks flowers and other pretty items now Unlike a many other mating type animals birds They have this thing called a cloaca one hole used for everything and like birds scientists are thinking that many dinos may have used What is called I love this term cloaca kissing as the method of mating others use traditional P&P A lot of this is in hypothesis It is a still in the hypothesis stage since a lot of these body parts have been lost to time so what you're saying is you Licked your partners cloaca and you were then channeling the mighty dinosaurs have passed Is that the angle no I think for it to be a one-to-one I would have to have to been like rubbing my butt against their butthole Well while licking it and that just sounds awkward and necessary of a chiropractor afterwards I mean definitely chiropractic.
I feel this need we need to like a picture of this of anybody on podcast world wants to recreate this Please do and send it to prefer to podcast on Instagram, but yeah No, I I don't think it'd be pretty awkward for for a human to do that for sure What's interesting about this article is I got it and I read it and other than the sad x-ray picture of the two turtles stuck together For 37 million years, which what if you like weren't into the guy like you're like Oh, I was at a party and we just had some drinks. I was horny I'm like alright turtle fuck me and you're like God. I can't wait to just joke with my friends This guy sucks He's not like a nigma in the future is gonna be at all and it's like lame and then you get buried alive and you're like Oh my god I'm stuck with this guy's fucking schnaz inside of me for 37 million years like could you please separate us? They were stuck together for a long time.
That is awful So I was like well What the fuck are we gonna talk about with us other than the fact that it's entertaining to you know ponder the love making of You know said dinosaurs, but then I all of a sudden I was like oh So enigma how do you entice your mate? What do you I mean? Are you like a you know cuz they talked a lot about rock scratching and things like that because they have you know Claw marks and fossils and stuff and that's what birds do So are you like a scratch a rock and whip out your cock type of mating dance for your lover like what is enigma do to create The mating dance for your lover and then we'll get into that. I like that question.
I also like the rhyme But yeah, no, I think that for for me I definitely use I guess sort of like especially in the kink world Like I like to wear like my kilt and I think the kilt sins like it definitely sets a mood and it definitely sets a Perspective that I think is definitely part of it I've definitely been wearing the kilt a lot more and I'm enjoying that and so like I can definitely see that as part of my My you know quote-unquote mating ritual or mating dance to see you know who who picks up on on that part of it But a gift giving and like I think now and I are Modern a treat called this gift giving or I really like making food for my partners I like taking care of my partners so like being able to give them things that I know are going to enjoy and like I can Definitely see the comparison for sure. I'm very right on board with you You know showing my skills being entertaining trying to entice them charm them with words and good conversation If we want to go more advanced skills validating them Asking them about themselves tell me about you engage me in what they're interested in is very arousing to another person Is when you validate who they are and what they're into in those conversations And then of course there's just like you said preparing an environment in the kink world for us It's kind of you know We have all of our toys and the things that we do or the things that we're interested in and then we kind of create that And we bring in our toy bags and we show off these are the things I know and these are the things I can do with you And for you, I think the word that if I'm gonna talk to perverted podcast listeners, especially People that are trying to figure out how to better entice a mate There is one word that I think comes to mind and you've hit on it And I'm gonna say the word and that is effort. Yeah the dance that has the best response from attracting a mate is fucking effort If you put effort not only into yourself, but presenting yourself and your best self to another person That is always going to be I mean you look online and you see who doesn't put in effort They go in their Facebook and fucking guys They like their sit on their fucking couch with a bag of Cheetos next to them and they have their laptop on their gut and they shoot a picture of their face You know just like from the worst possible angle there is no effort in that You know when you build you know Because it's kind of like you know the bird creating that area where it cleans everything and it makes the thing and it You know and then it doesn't stand for the mate that's kind of like fat life your social media profile Show things that are interesting on that profile put pictures up that show you doing your skills the things that you have to offer the things that you're gonna be able to entertain like you talked about you know being a Being a cook and a caregiver and those types of things when you put in that effort that shows somebody that your fucking sniz is So valuable to me that I'm willing to do this dance the fucking groom to shower to put in effort for another person is Is the difference yeah when you're like the people who just like have their dick up on on that life as their profile picture Because like that's all they have to offer yeah like I mean we've talked about this before like that that does work for some people Like all they like all they really want is they want to take the fuck but like if you're wanting like an actual Relationship if you're winning an actual partnership just flop in your dick around is not gonna be what? What gets people attention for the long term?
And I think if that's something that you're looking for then that's then you need to put forth that effort and like okay Maybe if you want to show off your dick have that in the profile But like have a little bit more to who you are because you hit on something that's really key the dick is kind of useless They're already gonna get the dick. They especially if we're talking about man trying to pick up on a woman She already knows she's getting the fucking dick. You don't need 20 pictures So your dick she's already gonna get it. There's nothing new or exciting there She already knows that comes with the deal are you showing her that you do music or you'd like art or you go on hikes?
Or you enjoy travel or you know you work on you know anti-cars, you know like or something interesting You know put just putting the dick up. It's just like yeah That's the thing I'm already gonna get without almost any effort needed right? You know you have to kind of present yourself and this also goes into my last point This also goes into why sex dies in a relationship Because there's no more fucking mating dance. You're not scratching rocks and fucking through showing your frills in your plumes anymore You're just sitting on a couch and it's like well, we're already together So you know we're gonna fuck after we watch TV.
There's no dance anymore, right? You always have to dance if you want to engage that sexuality It's not just well I danced ten years ago and now you know Yeah, if you're just gonna mate and have a baby Then you do the dance once and you fuck once a year and you know you breathe But if you want to keep that sexuality that interest Then you have to continually dance and that's like in kink we create play scenes and we do different things and oh We're gonna do wax play and it's setting up an entire room and creating an entire environment or you're doing a little Splacing what you and I've talked about a lot, you know It's just you have to reinvent that effort and if you don't then don't be surprised that you ain't getting laid Yeah, I feel like you got the woman you got the marriage you got the whatever and you're like Yeah, I mean so I don't have to put effort anymore. I got them already like no That's not what that means that that just means that you You played your part you did the dance and now you have to keep doing it because that person that you were when they When they quote unquote made it with you. That's the person that they that they went up He went so if you're just gonna do get within just to drop your guard just to become a totally different person Then it's gonna be no wonder when the quote unquote magic isn't there anymore all the dinosaurs that have short arms No, you gotta keep dancing You gotta keep fucking wiggling your ass if you don't you won't get any you will get no cloakal kissing No cloakal kissing You will never be the love God that enigma was a nigma god damn it.
This was actually a 10-time for better topic Damn it path girl, I've heard some stories about you. Oh really stories, huh? Sturries Sturries, I don't even know where that would be from I heard that you had some sort of shenanigans this weekend Oh, yes, I did I did I actually went to my local dungeon and finally got to do a scene with my top dog I haven't done something in two months. It was wicked overdo Yes, I know it's I'm preaching to the choir.
I know but so we had there's at the first start of the month There's always like a munch and we go to the front to the dungeon at night And it's like so we're negotiating during the month what we wanted to do So we actually started a scene on a cross with some nice leather straps good that warned of my skin good And then we moved on to what do we move on to oh we moved on to either Regular foogers leather foogers, and he's really good at Florentini So it's a nice little fumpy massage then we started going into the more bitey stuff where he has a rubber serrated Flogger that the falls are all those are stingy. Oh, yeah, super super stingy, but then they leave amazing marks It looks like half as if it's kind of cool. So yeah, it's I'm ultimately hate it And I love it cuz every time I was like yeah, we're pulling this up then we went to Florentine dragon tails, which I Must admit I can Florentine my ass off. I don't think I've ever tried it with dragonsons.
What does that feel like? It's you know when you're Florentine floggers. It's more fun people you're Florentine Dragon tails you're kind of hitting all ten sides. So it's just kind of like oh It's kind of like ping-pong with whip-whip-whip-whip all of a sudden.
I'm like oh, I don't have matching dragon tails So that would explain yeah He's got one and I have one and really long story short the one that I have a couple years ago before we even met He was looking at the same dragon tail from the vendor that we were at the same dungeon that night He didn't buy it and my I want to buy it so a couple years later He goes, you know, there's just dragon tail that got away. It was really pretty. I mean you mean this one he goes Oh my god, that's it. It's a small kinky world path girl Exactly and then we finished up the scene with a whip a signal look at you All of a sudden now you're like all rustlin cowgirl whip whore That's awesome.
So you really like that shit, you know the first time I did it was two months ago And I really I mean that first little pop is kind of what it hurts a little bit But then that burn of the string coming down But I love the marks it leaves too, but it's just you have to be careful with the whip to start really slight And then you start really hitting hard and it's out out out See and that's fun because for a long time it was literally just the fear like you probably could have tried whips years ago But it was just you had always kind of had like a little bit of a no think so Yeah, that crack is very intimidating, but most of the time when you play with the whip you're not even cracking it So it's just yeah, it's just licking I mean you crack it to make them jump if they're when they're facing the other way and that's always a lot of fun But yeah, if you if you pull a full whip a full cracking whip into someone's back you you can lay them open You can definitely lay them open. Oh, yeah, so it's a lot of that touching that pop pop pop pop. Yeah, very good Yes, that is and so I did you get your cookie? Yes, he was good enough actually I had a choice of cookies It took me over to the little munching area that we have and there's like three even cups cookies like what kind of cookie would you like?
I'm like let me go with those chocolate chips. Oh, it took me to the aftercare room. We talked for a while Yes, I got to cuddle with the cookie. So yes, it was very good after care.
That sounds like an amazing experience very very happy I'm sure I brought my past listeners are all druli druli So you have a topic that we're gonna hit on because you are if we're gonna talk about dating apps I think you're the only expert that we have like you have like 10,000 hours of dating app experience You are literally app master. I guess so because I mean even before Back when I was married and I was polyamorous. I was using dating apps to find partners So yeah, I've been on dating apps for four five years now and you and you're not just like okay I'll pay for match calm you like do like well, what it lists the ones you're on or you've been on okay? So I have been on okay Cupid hinge kinkty coffee meats bagel Bumble Match calm right at the majority of them.
Were you ever on call me? I started a profile there and for some strange reason it was one of those we need to verify your identity or verify something with it And they're supposed to get back to me within like 72 hours to verify my profile They never did so I kind of took a dump a long long time ago a long Yeah, and those are the kink ones And so what I wanted to talk about obviously and I'm pretty sure that all of the apps that you mentioned Especially like match and okay Cupid and stuff like that They have a farther reach than some I don't know the dating apps that are UK listeners go on or if they get okay Kind of like fat life if that life is global whereas I don't know if these are the same types of dating apps that are like global But but they're definitely the ones that are very popular here in the States. I've been on match calm I think I was kicked off of okay Cupid. I am so I don't even know what I did path girl.
I got kicked off of Tinder Oh, wow, that takes a lot and I literally and I never even really swiped I think what I did is I made a perverted podcast profile and I talked about perverted podcast in my profile It's the same thing that I got kicked off okay Cupid for which I don't think is a bad thing because it's like I'm still me I'm still horny. I still want to make the fucking fucking fucky and I'm telling people about my king I personally think the podcast is a pretty goddamn good resume of who I am. Yeah, definitely you listen to five episodes You'll be like okay, I understand who this person is but apparently they're like no that's you're promoting a website I go we don't make money It's groupies. Let me use the enigma gets more fucking groupie sex than I get goddamn it Yes, so yeah, so I've been on Tinder and then of course in the past for kink there was a alt.com Which was I think it's they're all still around but just yeah all calm was pretty trash But it had a good chat room and that's how I got into the community here in the in the valley Los Angeles area Oh, so they had a big chat room and then a lot of people used to hang out in those chat rooms, right?
And so I kind of earned my earned my humor points there and they're like all right you're funny fine come to the party say hi But but as far as dating apps, what would you think seeing as you are the master Out of all the ones that you mentioned which ones do you think are the most kink friendly would it be like okay? Cupid or yeah, I mean I narrowed it down to three and top top one hands downs. Okay, okay, but it's always been my favorite They're not only kink friendly, but they're extremely friendly to non monogamous people You can even choose to be part of your profile if you wanted to save you want to be in a non monogamous relationship They have a lot of questions on there to narrow down your choices like are you kinky? Are your sexual have your sexual preferences gotten kinkier?
You've gotten older and the cool thing about the desktop version is you can type in a keyword like kink and it'll give you questions Like are you kinky and it brings up a lot more than the app version does so I kind of float back in between You know the two versions and the good thing about okay Cupid is you could put so much into your profile There's so many people that just put real full-out later Right, but if you take the time and like fill it out and you can you could put a whole bunch of stuff on there Whereas like an app like hinge or bumble. You're kind of limited to like two three sentences and it's just like you have to pick and choose All right, but I'm kinky or do I put like I'm nerdy or do I make your you know You know it gets to choose whereas okay, but as much as you want at nausea That's pretty cool. So if you've been on match calm now match calm was very non kink when I was on it. Yeah Yeah, match calm It seems like the guys that and quite honestly the only reason why I tried match calm about a year ago is when Ryan Reynolds was doing the commercials with Satan in 2020 baby nice But it seems like the people on match calm least the guys they would say they're 47 and they're more like 57 I don't know what it is It's just they were skewing their ages and it just seems like there was a hell of a lot of vanilla people on there Right, right.
It was just where's okay, but I can easily find working people yet match calm I tried it for a good three months. I even had to pay version It just it just didn't fit with a kinky lifestyle right so now if somebody obviously Anything you do online and we're obviously going to always promote trying to find a community trying to find a club that's sex positive That's consent positive all of the things we talk about on the show and that would be wonderful if every community had people That were kinky that you could be kinky with but that's just not the case So you kind of your next only hope of finding kinky people would be the dating sites because that life really isn't set up I mean you can meet people in the groups and stuff like that on Fettlife but that life specifically has been geared to not be a dating site to not have brows You can't type in you know slim woman 20s believe me. I tried You know, you know and you cannot search for individual people or types or whatever because it's supposed to be The mission of that life is mostly education, you know community building Learning that type of stuff and then you go I mean you can still reach out and email people there is a social media aspect But but it is definitely not set up For progressive dating yeah, the only the only thing I can recommend is obviously like you could search for people in your area But you're gonna get a million people and it's not gonna tell you whether or not they're active or not Right, right, right. So on the dating sites.
What do you think is it? I mean obviously all of the same things are in place for safety and precautions? Do you start at at levels of like trust levels to where you're like at first? I don't have my real name.
I don't tell the city I'm in or like how do you kind of do it? I Mean I will tell the city I'm in it's pretty much common between that life and the dating apps I use my my fat life name on the dating apps because it's just I've dealt with stalkers before and it's just I don't Give my real name on top of that. I'll use the messaging system for example Okay, Cupid but if I guys says to me hey, I want to text you or I want to talk to you because okay Keep it system can be a little wonky sometimes I have a free app on my phone called text app which generates a phone number that you can get phone calls and messages to it's completely free and It just they can call that number and it rings to my phone. Oh, yeah Those are really that's really the way to go exactly because then if the person turns creepy you can literally just ditch the number Exactly, and it's just it's another layer of security until people have kind of earned my trust a bit and it's just like okay You know you've earned my trust here's my real life name and then after like a date or two I'd be like alright well, you know what you're not just like oh here's my real number and thankfully a lot of guys have been kind of Understanding that look I'm a single mom.
I'm kinky. There's a lot of things here So I'm trying to protect that it's just you know they kind of understand why I use the texting app it So but it's yeah, it's it's such a being single out there even mail. It's just you got to be careful with all this game I'll just out there We're not even gonna get into yeah, you know once again, you're going you're on a dating app you're going to have people spam you you You're going to have a lot if you're a guy You're going to get a lot of responses from women with only fans pages and things like that and that's yeah That's just part of it and if that's your cake that's your cake But if you're looking for a date, it's very frustrating But it's frustrating all around because you know that's just how dating works if you don't have a community These are the things you have to do So the important thing is to make sure that you still put yourself out there as best you can but yet do it also in a way That doesn't kind of fuck you so of course you have to do your best put your put as much I prefer the sites like you said that let you put a good amount of information up there Yeah, because unless it's like Tinder or something like that where you're like swipe and fuck if you can yeah You know you really need to be able to put some of yourself out there. So yeah, well, that's a good little touch base So thank you so much for being our expert on that we could obviously talk igniting I know you're the master and you're like well I can tell you everything get on there explore some sites see if it works for you be ready for a lot of rejection It's okay, and you know best of luck with that because I want to get to this next segment okay Celebrity put in my mind I can fuck them now so path girl I have been waiting to bring back this little joy this little tidbit this little magic moment that we share Part of our working mind our dirty working mind with our listeners our chance to talk about our desires I mean I have desires mostly about real people but in celebrities are real people, but they're just not accessible to me But but neither are the 20 hot Japanese school girl, you know, they're all adults But yeah, they're not available to me either because learning Japanese is Really hard really really hard, and I've tried like 11 times, but that's not here or there yes This moment is to talk about our celebrity fantasies And I've asked you to pick one and I have picked one and let's just let the listeners here who we want to partake in The joy of sensuality with okay, so me hands down.
I have to pick Jensen Ackles from Supernatural of course Oh my god that man is just oh, he's just so yummy so for me the fantasy I have it takes place in the Supernatural world where Jensen Ackles is a character of Dean and The scene in my head starts with me asleep in the bed and it's in the Supernatural men of letter bunker And I feel somebody smack me on the ass and tell me come on get up It's time to train and I can roll over and half asleep and I see that it's Jensen looking at me I'm looking at me and packing up a gear bag and I kind of like winds and like oh too tired I want to go train today and he just looks at me with those cold dark eyes and goes You want to be a hunter don't you okay? All right, so I get dressed and grab my stuff and we jump into the Impala of course And we start taking off so he takes me down this really dark road into like a pitch black forest And I can't really see anything except whatever the moonlight is kind of like shining out So he stops the car and gets out and I follow him around to the back of the car And I'm like looking around there's like nothing around from miles like this is where we're gonna train and he shoves me up against the trunk And he kisses me hard and he grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head back and goes The point of this exercise is for you not to get caught so I have one word run So I look at him scaling at me and I see that he's serious I start taking off into the pitch black forest and I'm running as hard as the best I can and I just try not to get into trees and try not to fall into digits and I feel him gaining on me So and I hear him closing behind me and I suddenly feel someone pounce against me and pushing up hard against a tree And I know it's him behind me And I just feel his breath in the back of my neck and I hear him growl my ear I told you not to get caught so and then he gets one hand behind my neck and kind of holds me back against the tree And with the other hand he just pulls down my jeans and my underwear and my bare ass is out in the cool air And I feel him and I hear him take his leather belt out from his pants And I'm like oh, I know what's coming next So then he starts whipping me with his leather belt over my ass and thighs and I'm squealing with every hit because it just hurts So much and the pain is so intense It steals my breath with every hit and part of me feels like I'm suffocating because I'm breathing so hard from the pain And after it seems like forever him whipping me He pulls me down by the hair and throws me down a pile of leaves ass up and I hear his zipper go down And I feel his warm cock just sliding right behind me and it's just so wet from the whipping I'm just dripping wet and I just feel him start thrusting into me and growling and growling and just intoxicating how growling is turning me on and he pulls both my arms back with one of his hands to arch my back And he grabs me by the throat with the other hand as he's thrusting into me and just starts growling in my ear and just I Just start spurting off orgasim after orgasim And I finally hear him groaning behind me and growling and he finally just spurts inside me And I just collapse on the leaves in a subspace equivoring mess So then after we're done He gently picks me up and carries me back to the Impala and pours me into the passenger seat And once we're back at the bunker He carries me to the couch and swaddles me in a blanket and we're cuddled together in the couch watching Scooby-Doo and eating pie as He loves to do and we're just in this wonderful state of bliss And then as he's cuddling me he kisses me on the top of the forehead and he says to me good training session Oh Dear pet house Jackpot Jackpot I went out to hutton I became the prey. Oh goodness gracious. Well, that surely sounds hot That sounds hot.
So did the question is is have you you've obviously masturbated multiple times thinking about this? Oh, oh, yes Yes, is this like a go-to for in the path girl fodder bag? Yes, oh definitely because it's just if Jensen Ackles showed up on my door Just no questions us. I one of these days I want to own a 67 Impala and all my friends tell me Jensen Ackles assault separately.
I'm like no he comes with the car awesome Well, that is incredibly sexy. I have one sure because of course mine is Aubrey Plaza. Oh Because she she is my dark soul and so I then take her into my time machine Oh, and we go back to around the mid-1800s in London, England her and I Have maybe a slight criminal twinge to our relationship We are grave robbers for the London hospital and their surgical arena because they need corpses to autopsy So they hire us to dig up the bodies after they've died in the London hospital So there we are one night in the graveyard and we dig up the entire grave until we see the top of the casket And there's something about dirty British grave robber Aubrey that every time she sees the top of the casket I just see her her thighs clench together a little bit and after this Occurring about 20 other graves. I'm not really ready to let this one go So I literally just look at her and I say you know It's time right and her eyes get really wide with those big beautiful eyes that she had and I just grab her by the back of her neck And throw her into the grave and I jump on top of her on the top of the casket Above the grave there is a giant tombstone I don't know who this fucker is but he could afford a giant tombstone So I reach up to the top while she's on the ground shuttering on top of the casket And I grab some dirty rope that we pull up bodies with and I flip her around and I shove her face Into the side of the grave and I throw the rope up around the headstone And then I take the ends and I tie her and I bind her at the top in a way that she is not really gonna go anywhere We could both be arrested they hang people for grave robbing We could both be killed Don't care she needs to get fucked I shove her face into the mud in the side of the grave and I rip up her skirt And I just start fingering with my dirty hands that I've been digging up a grave with I just start fingering her wet pussy She's moaning.
She's scared. She's trying to tell me to stop that. It's not right We got to get out of here. We're gonna get hanged.
I don't care. I just shove her face deeper into the dirt I pull out my fingers. I pull down my trousers. I start fucking her.
I start smacking her thighs while I'm fucking her She's getting hotter and hotter. I whisper in her ear. Don't you dare fucking come and she gets all flustered I start digging my dirty fingernails into the nape of her neck at her shoulders I start biting her neck while I'm fucking her her face is getting dirty piles of dirt are coming off the side of the grave Her feet are shuffling on the top of the casket. You can hear the hollowness of the casket with the corpse inside She's shaking her thighs are shaking.
She starts pulling I have to slam her back into the side of the grave over and over while I'm fucking her and she's like I can't take it anymore And she starts to scream and I shove her face into the dirt And I thrust her the mud gives way on the side of the grave and the giant tombstone falls and crushes us both to death And there we are still fucking crushed forever Together on top of a corpse our assistant that waits by the card happens to also be paddlebobs great great uncle Uncle hunchy. It's what we call him because of course he's hunched back paddlebob of course living in Britain Uncle hunchy comes running up because he hears the commotion. He knew I was gonna fuck her in that grave He sees what happens he realizes there is no way to fix this So paddlebobs great great uncle hunchy starts quickly digging the rest of the dirt back onto the grave onto the tombstone onto us onto the coffin locked in filthy dirty grave robber sex Kind of like Enigma's tube turtles, you know in his dinosaur thing and forever obry Plaza in my Genitals will be linked. That's what I was thinking Okay, you had me up until the tombstone fell on your god.
Well, I had to end it dramatic, you know You're getting fucked by a supernatural guy in the forest. I don't look like that fucking dick. I gotta do something cool She's into crushing. She's not claustrophobic She may hear this and she may like the crushing tombstone and uncle hunchy Yes, Uncle hunchy pal battle bombs great great great great uncle hunchy I should because this is a huge fan of the show vara lee tour It's we say it like it's Italian, but I know This is how we lose patron supporters This is how they just go I I gotta have a little respect just no this is where we gain them because they love hearing what stupid fucking morons She said this is kind of an old what not really it's maybe like two or three months old She says I've been racking my brain on what I could do to cheer either of you up because apparently You and I were again pissing and moaning about horrible our lives were at this point Really weird I know she says so here's a link to a boob picture in the 10 degrees Celsius cold North Atlantic I just saw this picture a few weeks ago because of course I've been off that life and holy fuck balls that woman is gorgeous Yes, I'm willing to bet you didn't see it either I'm gonna send to you she says I offer my boobs as emotional support titties for Kathy and I hope the cold ocean helps cool boogies storage down She's so thoughtful which is funny because that was so long ago that it's now getting hot again in storage All right, here's a here's the good part she says I wanted to tell Kathy that I also have the sona from Lilo I totally yet what Kathy says about it being tense I tried it couldn't climax what back to the trusted vibrator until I met a dom who was curious about my toys So I showed him wait him next time I went to his place I was positioned in the same position that Kathy hates and secured with a spreader bar and the dom went to work on me in my Orgasmic spasms I broke his fucking spreader bar and I read the fuck out and believe that Kenny I'm jealous.
What we've talked about this on the show. No, we have not I looked back Where to God I this story sounds so familiar it isn't because I mean it's hot it's good for repeat She finishes I can't give up the strongest fucking squirt gazzy Waiting in that little handy pretty thing and my fuck off goes to creative explorer because he done fucked up letting a jewel like you go That's why you wanted to read it. No, I've debated leaving that out and I'm all you know what I'm gonna say true to my values And if the listeners write it, I'm gonna say that is so generous of you. Isn't it though?
You're such a purist Okay, that's pretty much it, but I'll show you that picture She's absolutely adorable and you know what for our listeners boogie I went back and pulled out my old sona from Lilo. Yeah, and attempted again the orgasm the difficult orgasm Cuz that one is a tough one it sits right on your fucking clip in a way that you're clit Just can't get away from it and it is an incredibly intense sensation And I thought you know what for the listeners. I'm gonna try it again And it did and it was a very good orgasm Yes, okay, I like it. There's a learning curve good.
There's a learning curve and I'm committed and again for the listeners I will keep trying God damn it Kathy I know my morals and my ethics are just you should like you like you should literally be wearing a shaman's robe right now Like literally I'm so glad you see that You are goddamn like a little Buddha statue should be like on your thing and you are you are Siddhartha by the way Kathy read a book this week That's all good. I'm good. I'm feel what read a book. I've read it before it's Siddhartha by Herman Hesse written in 1920 First of all things are getting upside down.
I'm I'm getting all Sexified and doing crazy things and you're reading a fucking book. How upset down is this world? Well, it's a short It's only 150 pages and it only took me 40 stop stop down playing it. You read a book.
That's good. I did read a book It's an amazing book. I've read it once before and I would recommend anyone to short read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse It's classic sold like a hundred million copies and it really does help you peel away earth and Follow this person on their journey and it's very very very good little book cool. Did I just recommend a book?
Yes, you did on a cake show I want tits I want more of a little tits on the show fucking recommending books Jesus fucking kill me Christ. Oh my God Yeah That is the end of show three forty eight boogie three forty eight This is the second in our show in which we're doing only two shows a month and quite frankly I think the show's are improving for it. Please visit us on patreon.com for such perverted podcast I consider becoming a supporter the show by contributing just five dollars a month And don't forget that you can always talk to boogie and I by emailing us at perverted podcast And you know I just have saying just boogie and I because there are other co-hosts on this show now who are fucking awesome Or by sending yes by sending us a message to our perverted podcast Fettlife profile. Kathy God damn it Thank you so much to headly our glorious show sponsor We are in fact accepting other applications for show sponsors if you are interested if you want us to help you get that damn Well out there we can does that for you at the beginning and or end of show and Kathy You see that I just like a little pitch there a little little thing proud of me did proud of me Good so it's been an exciting show.
Thank you Kathy for joining me. Thank you pal girl Thank you and a month. Thank you to my penis that is still attached to me It hasn't given up on me yet, and I haven't given up on it's and hopefully we will see you guys next week for three next well Now, damn it. We'll see you guys whenever the fuck it is I