35 - Perfectionism (feat. Sharon Martin)

This week, I chat with LCSW and author, Sharon Martin. We talk all about perfectionism, how it impacts our interpersonal relationships, ways to show ourselves more compassion, and more! Sharon is a therapist in San Jose, CA who’s worked with adolescents, the homeless, juvenile offenders, veterans, and individuals struggling with substances, trauma, and mental illness. Her writing on emotional wellness, healthy relationship, and parenting have been featured in Redbook, Bustle, About.com, The Huffington Post and various other websites and publications including regular columns on PsychCentral & The Good Men Project. Connect with Sharon on her website, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram. Read her PsychCentral column (Happily Imperfect) or her column on The Good Men Project (Courage to Be Me). Preorder her new book, The Perfectionism Workbook: Practical Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Find Balance, and Reclaim Your Self-Worth, out in January 2019. Things we reference in this episode:- Sharon's article 'The Link Between Perfectionism & Codependency'- Sharon's article '22 Ways to Love Yourself More'- PsychologyToday article 'The Unsettling Truth About What's Hurting Today's Students' Quotes:- “If the goal is unattainable and the alternative is failure, then we’re always going to be sitting in the failure camp.” (tweet)- “[Perfectionism] is often just as much about trying to meet other people’s expectations as it is about trying to meet your own expectations.” (tweet)- “The meat of learning is trying things and seeing what doesn’t work.” (tweet)- “You can think of life as a big experiment instead of a test where there’s a grade at the end.” (tweet)- “Maybe I can learn a lot of great things about myself, or about life, or about other people by taking a chance and not doing [something] so great.” (tweet)- “When we can be compassionate with ourselves, that’s when we can do better.” (tweet)- “There’s a lot of things in between success and failure.” (tweet)- “There’s still a lot of benefit in doing some of something or having it done imperfectly.” (tweet) Join the exclusive Cxmhunity Facebook group to interact with the hosts, guests, and other listeners by pledging just $1/month on Patreon! Support CXMH on Patreon or leave us a review on iTunes or Google Play! Check out our brand new merchandise to show off your love of CXMH or start conversations! Check out other episodes and find your favorite guest on our website.Connect with CXMH on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Connect with Robert on his website, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Intro/Outro music for this episode is Fall Down by Rivers & Robots.