354 Bricks And Bruises

Hely is our true heroes and sneaks of people into your minds. His sponsor is the show. Cathy. What?

This is our 11th time attempting to restart the show. Quick, say something brilliant about baboons and bananas and ice cream. Oh my god, now I want an ice cream sundae. Now you got me hungry, so I want to head over to Baskin Robbins.

Oh my god. Could we get like, could you imagine if we had 50 fake licenses that each had a different day of the year? And we could just go in and get that free ice cream at Baskin Robbins. We could eat every Baskin Robbins in Southern California.

I wonder if they're linked. I doubt it. That would be Baskin Robbins. It would be like the Baskin Robbins Bandits.

Just going in. But within the end of the year, we'd both be like 1100 pounds of each. And we'd be all hit with that Faskin. This is what happens when we record hungry.

It's true. All right, fine. Let's start a show. The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only.

Viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it. But if you're curious, here we go. 1, 2, 3, 4.

There you feel your six-loppiest quad. Blame. What a birdie. Fucking.

Scared mature desires. My me. Strange birdie. I'm coming to an arcade game world of play.

The birdie bogey. Yay. Wahoo. Hello.

And finally, after 740 attempts, welcome to perverted podcast. The show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the ever crumbling and Cathy in my case, human mind. Oh my god. Recording tonight, 45 minutes late after several tries on Zeddin Kester and Boogie's mind is turning into oatmeal.

So we better get going. I'm Cathy. I am. I am cream of wheat boogie and Cathy.

I am so glad that we are finally rolling. Because I did have a bunch of fun stuff to talk about. Have you done anything interesting this week? I don't know that I could call it interesting, but it has.

I will be interesting, but it's not the kind of interesting you think about. It has been interesting because my therapy has been advancing and we've been having a few uncomfortable but necessary breakthroughs. So in that regard, it was a very interesting week. OK.

Good, good. And I'm assuming you don't want to share any of those breakthroughs. Well, they're rather embarrassing and have to do with the inner child and all this nonsense. Oh, yeah.

I can barely talk about it to my therapist, let alone to the general public. There. And we have touched on inner child stuff because I've gone through a lot of inner child stuff as well. Maybe down the road when we're when we've taken down some of our brick walls.

See, it's a little precursor to the thing we're going to say. Yeah. Yeah. So it's also funny that you should say that I started therapy again today back with Hathor.

Hathor has returned. And not only that, but this time I actually met my therapist. This is the first time. Yes.

Well, the year that however long we did therapy before it was on the phone. And so I went back to Hathor for a different type of therapy. Like I said, we stopped doing therapy because she's not as analytical that I wanted at the time. But she's a fantastic cheerleader and she's organized.

And she's really good at explaining things and whatever. So now I kind of, I need that. That's what I need. I need to make a plan so I can, you know, not be homeless and whatever.

And she's really helpful with that. And so I said, well, I've tried all these other avenues. And this is somebody that I trust. And she's really, really smart and really fun to talk to.

So I said, oh, let's go to this. So I had to go in. But what was funny, Kathy? I think I don't know if I'm old or what, but it's just weird because the forms that they make you fill out, I don't know if they're just getting stupider and stupider.

But I'm like, what? You know, like I was at the optometrist that other time. And I told you they're like, what's your sexual orientation? Like I'm like, what?

Like do trans and gay have different eyesight than me? Like, what does that matter? And then today it was weird. There was stuff like, they're like, how do you support yourself?

I put my legs. And they thought that was funny. And then they're like, what's your relationship status? And I'm just all, eew, eew, eew, ww, ww.

And I was like, that's stupid. And then it's like, in case of emergency contact. And I'm like, 911? Should I have to tell these people that?

Oh, Bookie, tell me you didn't write that stuff down. I wrote all of that. But you're supposed to be serious. This is a psych form for crying out loud.

Come on. How do you support yourself? My legs. I thought that was good.

Oh my god. They just look at me. They're like, you need to be here. Yes, that's exactly what's going through their minds.

They did laugh at the eew, because it was really long. It's our relationship. I'm like, ew, no more of that. No more of that.

I've done my time. Oh, Kathy, but it was good to talk to Hathor. And it was really good. And she's pretty.

So of course, I like that. And even though I didn't see her face, but it was funny because we're both in masks. And she's talking to me. And she's saying like serious stuff.

But her mask creased in a way that she looked like a muppet with giant lips. And so she's like trying to say something like all serious in her mouth. Like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. Oh, Bookie.

I can't take anything seriously, Kathy. It's been a real time. I'm starting to realize that. But I am back in therapy.

I think that's the good thing. I think that's the good thing, Kathy. Yes, let's focus on that. That's the good part.

Let's focus on that. Bed life is the place where unicorns play. But then they fuck each other in the ass with their horns. Because that's the kind of freaky shit that happens on Bed Life.

All right. This time you went trolling on Bed Life for stuff. I did. You found a good one from Homegrown Honey.

Can I just say that's the best name I've heard in a long, freaking time. Yeah. Homegrown. She's a homegrown honey.

You got to say it with an accent. Yeah. Kind of like that. All right.

She wrote a very aproposed entitled bricks in which she says, we stand behind our walls for so very long. With each let down each betrayal, each vulnerability, we build them higher, more secure. We had razor wire and land mines. We make it impossible to penetrate the walls.

But once in a great while, we get the courage to peek out. We find strength to open the door for someone to enter. Sometimes that's OK, and it's all well that ends well. But sometimes we get hurt.

And so we reinforce the wall. I've been holding my wall firm like a fortress for four years. That was the last time I let someone through. While I was out in the sunlight for a moment, it was warm and inviting.

I felt alive outside of my wall. Free, excited for what the future could be. But it's too much. I can't handle the overwhelming feelings of living outside of my wall.

So I'm blocking my door again. Maybe in another few years, I'll find courage to peek out again. Maybe I'll invite someone of worth into my fortress. But not today.

Today I return to my safe space. Today I put more bricks in my wall. Now they'll brick in the wall. Not the brick in the wall.

Oh, it's just a break in. No, the brick in the wall. Hey, take that. Take that.

Leave those kids alone. See, that's where I got my Cathy from. It's from that song, actually. Hey, Cathy.

Really? Oh, yeah. Normally, I think I'm going to take. I am, of course, at the end, I'm going to try to be all super move forward and get strong and shit again.

Like I usually do. But I really want to focus my first thought on how amazing it is to have a defense system of building your brick wall. I'm not going to trash the brick wall. I'm not going to trash the fortress, the Bob wire, all those little x things, the tank stoppers from World War II, whatever you can put in place to buy yourself some time to heal.

I am pro brick wall. I am very pro brick wall. I'm loving the brick wall. I am.

You are a brick wall. You are a brick wall. You are a six pound ball and brick wall and. It's true, Amen.

Emotional pain is just as harmful as physical pain. And everybody has their own level of stability, mental health stability. And everybody has a line beyond which they start to shut down. Everyone's is different.

But we all have them. I really don't think it's possible to be out there and in the world and not have emotionally traumatic things happen to you. And when they do, you have to build up that wall. There's no way for you to heal.

It's the same as if you break your leg or you get really sick. You close ranks around you. Those who love you are there to help you. You stay in your home until you're healed and ready to go out.

That's principle is everywhere. That's literally what your skin is, the largest organ in the body. It protects you from infection. It protects every part of you.

It is the wall behind which all of your organs lie. So or vital organs, I should say. And so this is your mental health and your emotional health is no different, in my opinion. How long are you staying that wall?

Hey, that's entirely up to you to decide. And anybody looking from the outside, it can say that's healthier. That's not healthy. But only the person behind that wall can decide.

And sometimes, why is it such a bad fucking thing for you to spend so long behind that wall if you're happy, if you're healthy, if you're being productive, if you're taking care of yourself? It's not such a bad thing to stay there for a significant amount of time. That's my opinion. And we've talked about tempos of recovery and different minds have to recover at different tempos because that's just all of our minds are slightly different.

There may be some archetypes of people that maybe heal a little bit quicker or whatever. But we also have to decide is there a difference between healing and denial? Like what is actual healing? Because some people maybe can bounce back and then they just build up a bunch of defenses around them.

And then they just go out there like a raging bull. But they haven't actually healed because you can't really heal mentally without reflection. And that's what I'm going through right now is that I'm out and I'm dealing with trying to deal with life and handle it. But I'm not stopping to heal.

And that healing requires reflection. And that's why I started therapy again. Because that fortress, if you're running forward, if you're in that fight or flight, if you're constantly fighting and having to protect yourself, there's no time for reflection because your mind defaults to survival in that fight or flight. And if you don't have the ability to ever shut that off, you're never going to have a clear enough mind to reflect.

And that's kind of the whole idea of taking that step back after you get out of a relationship, or after you have a big trauma in your life, or a big disappointment, or a career change that didn't go well, or whatever. You have to have that time of reflection. And really the only way you can do that is if you have some sort of safe space. Does that make sense?

Yeah, that's being behind the wall is exactly what that is. It's a safe space. And I get what you're saying. There came a time.

I mean, it's been almost a year. I think we're a few, a couple of weeks shy of a year since the X broke up with me. Look how long it's fucking taken me. And even then we had something else happen in my family that fucked me up even more.

But I would still be right. And what have I been doing this whole time? I've been reflecting. I've been licking my wounds.

I've been trying to shore up my defenses. I've been trying to puff up my self-esteem and make myself feel better. None of that stuff happens while you're out partying all night. It happens in quiet moments.

It happens when I journal. It happens when I talk to my therapist, when I sit across the table from Sunday morning breakfast for my sister. And we talk. And it happens in quiet safe spaces.

And quiet safe spaces require those walls. I don't think that there's any way around that. Yeah. I think you also touched on the difference between distraction and reflection.

And you can turn to another drug, another video game, another crutch or fix. But that's not going to prepare you for the next onslaught, which inevitably in life, there's going to be these on slots. There are crocodiles and lions and things that would eat you all over the place mentally. And if you are not reflecting and learning how to deal with it, if you're just distracting, then you're going to wander into the same fucking creek again.

That's loaded with crocodiles. You're going to go down and try to drink from the same water. You're going to do the same thing. And it's going to be the same result.

So spending that time and reflecting, like you're doing, is the only way you're ever going to be able to even hope to come out of that wall. It's true. But I also, I do see your point that you can't stay there too long. It was the reason why a couple of months ago, I decided to have a get together with some friends here at my house.

Because I wasn't really forcing myself, but I was very reluctant to do so. And when I was looking at all the reasons that I could versus all the reasons that I shouldn't, I found that there weren't that many reasons that I shouldn't. So why was I not doing it? And I found too much shock that I was very complacent.

I just wanted to stay here. I didn't want to put myself out there, even with friends that I knew and trusted. And so that's when I realized, OK, something's up here, and that gave me the impetus to move forward and say, you have to do this because you're starting to get too comfortable where you are. Absolutely.

I have a whole section of notes because it is, you are a perfect example of that. And I commend you. And I was totally proud when I heard you take that risk, just to have those luncheon dinners with some friends coming over on your terms. You brought them into your territory where you felt safe enough to do that.

And those are the steps that you take to get out. Because just like you said, it is absolutely true. You can convince yourself that living inside of that fortress is your happiness. You can actually, because we're territorial creatures, so you give us a territory once we make it survivable, and there's softer edges all around, then all of a sudden you're like, yeah, this is good.

I can just stay here. But at some point, what happens is years of your life have now gone by, which I found in my case. And you're like, I'm not really happy. I'm not really living life.

I'm literally just wasting every day of my life that goes by. And it doesn't mean that I don't take as much time as I need to heal and recover. But at some point, you have to decide. And this is where I joke my favorite band, Led Zeppelin, some of you know, I don't have a lot of favorites, but I gotta say Led Zeppelin was my favorite band of all time.

And the lead singer, Robert Plant, had a tragedy in 1977 when his 10-year-old son died of a heart condition. And obviously that was devastating for him. They had to leave tour and all that stuff. And he was talking to another musician who had gone through a big loss.

And he said, at some point, you have to rejoin life. That was the quote. And that meant a lot to me, because I realized that a lot of times that I'm so busy trying to protect myself from the next onslaught that I'm not putting in that time to get to where I can rejoin life. Because there's a lot of life out there.

There's a lot of experiences. There's a lot of adventures. There's a lot of, yes, great potential relationships and friendships and explorations. And if I spend my whole life trying to just be as safe as possible, then haven't I already kind of died?

Right. Ah, Boogie. It's a tough call to decide where you are on that line. It's a tough call to say, I should stay back here or I should move forward.

It's time or no, it's not time. I'm afraid I can't offer more advice beyond that, honestly, because it's not a clearly defined state where you say, now is the time or no, now I need to stay here. You have to be, I think, super vigilant to figure out where that moment, where the tipping point is. Well, I believe if you haven't had any reflection time and you haven't done any of that inner work, you're probably not ready to go outside of the wall.

Yeah. Just going to say, you're just going to go, oh, well, they said we should, I should just go back outside. And you're just like, hey, and chomp, chomp, there's your leg and your head's been ripped off. No, the step before, like you did, I think it's just a great example of how you approach this, is you reflected, you retreated, you protected yourself, you put yourself in a place where you didn't have all of that onslaught, and then you reflected, and then you were able to make those decisions.

So I think your path is probably, I would say, the most recommended. I mean, people can do all sorts of things, but I think, safety, reflection, and then maybe try to go rejoin life a little bit. Okay, I suppose I will. You're good.

And part of that is letting me finger you. You know, I think that's right. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, I don't think that that's part of the proceed, the proper procedure. I think I saw it when I was at Hathor's office.

I looked through the DSM-5 and I think it's part of breaking down walls is letting Count Boogie finger you, I think. Is that in the chapter called Brofinger? That's right. Brofinger chapter.

Right. The DSM-5 has a chapter called Brofinger. The therapeutic and psychological effects of Brofinger. And for those of you who are new, that have not experienced the magic, which is the discussion of Brofinger.

Brofinger is when you have a friend that's not getting laid and she just needs a helping hand. She doesn't want a connection. She doesn't want sex. She just needs Brofinger.

You're like, hey, bro, you know, you put a towel over your head so you don't see my face. Just do the job. You know what would be hysterical? I think that your head would explode if I were ever to take you up on that and go, hey, Boogie, I think I'm ready for Brofinger.

You'd be like, oh, wait, wait, wait, I didn't mean it really. No way, no way, bro. Yes, you would. I got my surgical gloves and some chog-not-insense right here.

I'm going to come over. I'm going to like that incense in your room and I'll be like, hey, baby, just lay down. Just lay down. No, you're a liar.

You know, talk is cheap. You can say that. Watch me show up. I will suck.

I am fucking cheap, Jesus Christ. You call it frugal in your homeless. But I'm pretty. Thrifty.

Thrifty. I'm so thrifty, Jesus Christ. He's a painting old miser. Yeah.

Well, guess what? We are old and the socks have mold. We are old and the hearts are cold. We've been told that this year's our gold, but we know that they're not so lucky.

Oh, that's so funny. Ha, ha, ha. You know, I don't have to take this from you, just because you're a fucking chicken in regards to a bro finger. I dare you to challenge me.

I am. I admit fully that I, that's, I'm a total fucking coward. I will never cross that line with you. You know, I'll kick in that door.

I gotta fish. BAM! I'm here, bitch. I'm here.

I just like do the doctor snap on my gloves. That is my patient. There she is. That's what I wanted a German doctor and some little Nazi player.

Oh look at yours, it's very good with China, your little bear is very friendly. Hello little bear, you make your smile, ya? Slap, slap, slap. Are you feeling the wrong?

That's young mine, Froily, ya? Did you claim a speech stroke? Oh my god, we're totally mixing all this shit. Yeah, that's what we do.

Sexy with a scalpel, half girl cuts some body parts, if you choose to fuck with her, it might not be that. Sludge, half girl, half girl. Rockin' hot, half girl. How are you doing, half girl?

I'm doing awesome, how are you doing? It's an amazing time here in the Burbank Library. There's joy, there's crazy people, there's muttering, there's a QAnon conspiracies and all sorts of amazing. Someone did that, someone got pissed off the other day at someone for whatever reason, he's like, oh god damn democratic pedophiles, blah blah blah blah.

And I'm like, whoa, I'm just gonna move over here. Yeah, probably good though. Just gonna move. So any player, any sexiness going on or in the works?

Oh, you're blowing us out for a date, that's why I had to get in here early today. Yeah, I had to reschedule some stuff and I appreciate that, thank you. Have not played the last two weeks, I am going to the dungeon on Saturday to have a scene with Doc, but I've actually been doing vanilla stuff lately, I just got back from a trip with my son to Universal Orlando. Oh yeah, that's right, how was you?

Like Harry Potter land? Yes, yes, this was my son, my son's born in December, so this was a related 16th birthday, but also he got screwed out of his 15th birthday because of the pandemic and his middle school graduation, this was a combo like two birthdays and your graduation trip because it was very expensive, but it was absolutely amazing. I literally walked into Digon Alley, it's all the way at the end of one of the parks and it was just like, I almost cried. It is just so stunningly beautiful, the attention to detail that these people have put into the sets.

I mean, you walk into the wand shop to pick up your wand and it's not a painted wall of boxes, it's actually boxes going from floor to ceiling, like somebody sat and made all these boxes. Some poor motherfucking Floridian, and folding these goddamn fucking boxes of everyone. It is just amazing. And then like they have the dragon from the last movie that's on top of the Green Gods Bank and every 10 minutes he blows fire and it's just like, you see this massive props and I'm like, that props gotta be a million dollar prop easily and it's just like, it's so stunningly beautiful.

And of course, you know, the little sadistic side of me, I took my son who's high functioning autistic, but we put him on a roller coaster called The Velociraptor, which goes upside down four times and that's a 360. So, as we're getting strapped in, I said, honey, this is the one and only time I'm always going to say, you can say any curse word you want because I'm not going to hear it over my screen. Did he curse it off? Oh yeah, he was crossing, he was shaking fucking attack.

I can hear him, but as I'm screaming, I mean, especially this roller coaster, you feel like you're getting lifted out of your seat a couple of times. It's like almost scary. So it's just like, I can't do that. Shit, fuck, shit.

And he gets off the right. I'm like, oh, you want to go again? No, you want to go right now? No!

See, path girl, this is where people without children get all muffled, but we have to understand thank goodness for Louis C.K. Stand up. That prep, the non-breeders, to understand a fact that is counterintuitive to non-breeders, but you have to allow parents at some point to abuse their children. Oh, yes.

To do something mean and sadistic, like manipulate them onto a roller coaster when you know down where they don't want to be on a goddamn roller coaster. You have to let it go because they get you hell literally for 16 years or has to be some releasing of air from the balloon so you don't kill a child. I think it's actually hell. Well, he wanted to go.

He was just really apprehensive and scared. He's been on other roller coasters before, but nothing this severe. But yeah, for every autistic meltdown, every time I've had to drag him by his heels into the car and calm him down, it's a little bit of payback. It's a little bit.

I'm just going to say, as long as there's no bruises left afterwards, I say you're cruising for a bruise and she says, oh, you're such a flirt because some girls are quite kinky and they like it when it hurts. Yeah. A mark, a bruise, a little cut, the wells from Whipser Canes are trophies that make you feel that. We'll make them smile and celebrate for days.

Bruise, bruise, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Br I made a jingle for us. Okay, you had warned me previously you were working on a jingle, but you said I'm going to make that my ringtone. I'm actually seriously thinking about it. Well, I can just give you the chorus that it just goes.

Bruise, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty, Britty. You're talking about, girl, this is one of those jingles where I'm like, I'm not going to put a lot of effort into this jingle. We have a topic. We're talking about bruises.

It's still quite magical, though. It's still in its dumbness. I think it does the job. We are going to talk today about something, and we've talked about this on the show before, and of course we've touched on it, but you actually went and did some digging and you're a big fan of the receiving end of the bruises and marks.

Oh, yes, definitely. That little badge is a boner for me. Now, then, I have a lot of things because as the listeners that have been around a long time know, I'm not super bruise focused. I'm very not bruise focused.

Mainly because most of my partners aren't big bruisers. But also, I have other feelings about bruises and stuff, but you're a big fan of bruise, and there are a lot of people out there that actually get very sad that they don't bruise during play. Right. We're going to talk a little bit about that.

But first, why don't you tell me what do these marks mean to you? I mean, bruises for me. I really like the next day when I'm at work or if I'm sitting in a chair, like squirming around in my seat and feeling them. They're almost like marks of pride to me when I look in the mirror and go, oh my God, that's huge and go, wow, I actually went through a really intense scene or a really intense time with somebody and I was able to push my body through it.

So it's a sense of accomplishment for me. And it's really, I mean, it's just, especially if I get something on my shoulder and my brush draft falls down and then I snap it back in place and forget the bruises. They're like, oh, yeah, yeah, that was nice. So it does.

So as a non-master kiss myself because I'm completely not in the pain, I have enough of it. Does it kind of reignite kind of some of the feelings you had in the place in or does it kind of get you hot again? Oh, definitely. I mean, if it's with somebody like when I play with Doc, you know, we're not sexually intimate, so it's just kind of like I smile and go, yeah, I docked at me and I kind of giggle a bit and it does get me a little hot.

Especially like if it's from a guy that I'm in a relationship with, it definitely gets me turned on. I was like, oh, yeah, my surgeon did that. I'm like, the more it's more that later. It's like, oh, yeah.

Now, do they ever get you hot enough to where you masturbate touching your bruises? Because I've heard that before, too. No, but there are times when I'm walking down the halls of work, like, especially if I have something on the side of my thigh, I'll kind of tap on it and I'm like, oh, yeah, that feels good, you know? Nice.

Nice. So now then, because you, I think you covered it pretty well for the people that I've talked to because I've played with a lot of people and some of them are really into bruises and the marks and stuff. Sometimes it's for really fun reasons. It's like you said, a sense of celebration, accomplishment.

You achieved a level, you pushed yourself a little bit, you know, just like with any sports injury or anything, it's kind of like a little badge of honor in some ways. But and then of course for some people, it's just having that mark that you can poke and, and you know, kind of keep yourself going. So you keep the play scene, you know, going for a few more days. So, so my point, I have so many, my notes are completely jumbled today because I'm kind of so on the fence with both.

Like if bruises happen, I'm completely okay with that. Especially if my partners like, Hey, I really want to be marked today because, you know, we know about Mew who is like literally Wolverine and you can literally beat her with a cane to the point of it breaking for an hour and she'll get some red marks and then you fart on it and it goes away, you know, it's like literally she just doesn't really mark well. And then right. And then I've had other partners that really, really didn't mark and it was almost frustrating for them.

And I was like, well, you know, we had the scene, you know, but they kind of wanted the little badge so they could remember it. So if somebody in, I think my main point is don't beat up on yourself. If you don't bruise and if you see pictures online of giant bruises, that doesn't mean that they took more than you. It just means maybe they bruise easier.

Exactly. You can, there's people with whatever blood issue you can flick them and they'll have just a giant purple welt. But if people do want bruises and they don't bruise easily, you had looked up some stuff about bruising. Yes.

And actually I kind of broke it down into easy stuff and in the hardest stuff. So the easier stuff, if you want to try to get more bruising for after scene is either taking aspirin or alcohol before a scene. Now, obviously risk of wear consensual kink, alcohol and aspirin are going to thin your blood. So obviously you're going to bruise easier.

However, if you have any underlying medical condition, these can lead to problems. Also it's not going to be, hey, I'm going to take a couple of shots of tequila or take a couple of aspirin right before a scene and you're going to bruise immediately. Normally you're going to have to take these about 24 hours before you're seeing, like if you take an aspirin like twice a day, you know, like within 24 hours before you're seeing, you'll be more likely to bruise that way. Right.

Because I've heard people like in blood play when people don't bleed a lot when you cut them because I used to have that with a biz. And so she would start taking aspirin a couple of days before. Right. And so I'm like, oh, that's sick.

But just a couple of aspirin a day for a couple of days and then that thin the blood a little bit. So blood thinning also helps with bruising. Right. And if you want bruising, it sounds funny to say that.

If you want to get a bruise in the non-kink world, people don't necessarily, because it's like funny, because like when people, you hear all the time when there's bruises on fat life, people are like, oh, that's so pretty. That's so pretty. And it's like if you go into the non-kink world, like if you get into a motorcycle accident or seven year old dude, look at my bruiser, I'm like, I think it's subjective, you know, I think it's kind of subjective that we want that. But if they do, what was the rest of your time?

Yeah, no, but it's just it has to be aspirin, Tylenol and Advil are not going to help you with bruising. I mean, Advil might, but Tylenol definitely is not because it's not a blood thinner. So that's like ibuprofen. Exactly.

That's a swelling fever swelling kind of thing. Right. A shorter warm up time also can lead to more bruising. I mean, I like a good five to ten minute warm up when I'm doing a scene.

If you get a pretty much start going into a scene, that could also start producing bruises more quickly. I have experienced that many times myself. If it's something that's more like disciplinarian, you'll know there's usually more marks because the skin doesn't have time to adapt and blood flow or the blood leaves and doesn't coagulate or something. I don't know.

We need like super, we need more research into sexy bruising. Well, I have more research into sexy bruising. So, basically, so when I was reading up on position is very important. A lot of people have had more bruising with either like a bent over the knee spanking or bent over the knee scene or where somebody's on all fours because if you stretch that skin over the pelvis so it's as tight as possible, that allows it to be more easily traumatized.

Also, if you can track those muscles like if you're standing at a cross, you can contract your butt cheeks. It's when you have the muscles more taught, you're more likely to bruise than if you're more relaxed. It's got to be spread across the skin and the soft tissue a little more easier. Oh, that makes a lot of sense.

Absolutely. That's why you run people getting car accidents and then just walk away from it because they're all loose and relaxed. But if you're tensed up, then it causes you can tear it more. Even in my son takes karate and one of the things I taught him when you fall is you have to be relaxed when you fall.

Obviously, it's kind of counterintuitive to say, kind of be relaxed when you fall. But the less likely you are to tensile. If you're falling and you're feeling hands first, what's the thing first thing you're going to do? Put your hands out and tense yourself up to break the fall, but that's the worst thing you can do.

You're going to break yourself more. Or you're going to break your rib. Yeah, which I have done. I was swept by my friend who was a martial arts expert and he was my webmaster and we were goofing around and he swept me.

And even though I had martial arts, I just didn't think and I put my hand down and jabbed my elbow and broke my own rib. Oh, yeah. Just thought I'd share that because I'm stupid. And you know what happened after that?

Oh, yeah. Bruise. Bruise. No bruising.

Brity, brity, brity, brity, brity, brity, brity, brises. There is actually no bruise. Just lots of fucking pain. Oh my gosh.

So here's if you want to get on with a good bruise. You got to think of the physics of what's going on here. The wider the surface and the tool that you're using, the less the force is per square inch. So if the force is distributed all the way out, it's not going to cause a bruise.

If you focus it with like a cane or a riding crop or even those little lollipop paddles they have, those are great for bruises or even pinching biting. Doc loves to dig his thumbs into my where he's warmed up for and just give me those really deep bruises. I'm just cursing at him. Stop it.

Just whoa. So if you're into construction, you could use rebar. Two by fours. Rubber mallet.

Possibly one of those blacksmith anvils. You could just drop that on someone. You could get a little bruise. Might be a little more than a bruise there.

Actually I was reading about somebody who likes to take a pipe and cover it with a pool noodle and use it as a really fuddy bat. I was like, oh that's a good shot. Oh sure, sure. Even if it's not a pipe, you can do that.

I had those with just wood dowels. Just the closet hangers that you get, the wood pole that you hang your clothes on in a closet if you cut that and surround it with cushion or whatever. It's super, that's super fuddy and bruisey. Now we're going to go into my little bitch rant that if you're into bruises, that's absolutely okay, but if you're not into bruises, that's absolutely okay too.

And sometimes the motivation of why you want bruises is questionable to me because I'm a bitch and I'm going to go ahead and do that. If your bruise is the goal, then intimacy is not. If the goal is, is that you get some bruises, so you can put them on flexing. Flexing is kind of just about your ego and whatever.

And it's like, hey, live your own dream. But I am way more interested in the reaction of my partner. I'm way more interested in the connection that I have with my partner than whether or not they have bruise. Sure, we can poke the bruises and they're fun and whatever, but it's not the center of what I'm doing.

And if my partner and I have a level of intimacy and connection together, then the trophy is, we both were together in this process. So when people are just like, it's about the bruise, I need to mark my bruise bruise, then I'm kind of like, oh, well, go play with fucking anybody, you know, you're going just back into a wall, you know, a bunch of times and then say, look what I did. So the connection's more important. Yeah, I think it's more important.

Surely not, you know, and whatever. If that's your, if your kink is the bruises, then absolutely that's fine. It's not my kink. I don't, I like a clean canvas every time I play, like I've played with people that bruise a lot, especially in the early days when I wasn't even in the lifestyle.

I had someone that she used to come over and be like, you know, beat the crap out of me. And I spank her with these heavy paddles she would bring and she would just bruise, bruise, and I just found I didn't want to hit those the next day. Because I was afraid I was doing damage or, you know, damage on top of damage on top of damage. And that brings us to the point of the risks.

Yes. Well, like I touched on before what they asked for an alcohol. Anytime you're going to have a bruise, you're going to run the risk of doing permanent damage. You're hitting muscle, you're hitting nerves, you could possibly even hit bone depending on where you're hitting.

You're obviously never want to strike somebody where there's bone laying close to the surface like the spine that joins the ribs and what have you. It's just some of these bruises can lead to what's called hematomas, where it's just collections of blood under there. Those can be painful. Those can be semi-permanent.

Sometimes you have to be surgically removed because it just leaves this lump there. That just never goes away. That's not hot. Yeah.

I mean, and especially even with people, you know, I know people that don't bruise very easily, but you could feel those bruises. A lot of bruises can be not apparent on the skin. They actually do this in domestic violence cases in the training I did in the forensic medical exam, or the medical exam, or the medical exam. They can use a UV light and you can actually light up bruises easier than with the naked eyes.

So just because your skin looks pristine doesn't mean you're not going to have bruising underneath and if the bruising goes too deep, that's when you can start having problems. When it's all done for fun and everything, I love that people love their trophies and they're proud of it and their accomplishments. But there are some things you got to look out for and in general, it was a good excuse for me to write the magic. Bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise, bruise.

Oh, and I got one more little tip. Give it. Okay, so actually my friend, Catatutus, one who gave me this. If you apply heat after a scene, your bruises will actually come out better.

And if you think of the physics real quick, the heat will bring the blood to the surface and cause the bruises to expand and look darker. So either sitting on a heating pad or after care of a very nice heated towel. But the tip she gave me is coming home from the dungeon. If you have heated seats in your car, turn them on and sit them on the way home.

Your bruises look so much better. Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy. Is Geeky World Music Social Enigma? I don't know that.

It's a Casa Enigma. He should know because he's got the same name. Enigma. Yes, Abogi.

It is wonderful to talk to you. We will talk one, two, three, four times today. I just did for my buddy on the station, the mystery station. I just got to do a bella-go-see year-round Halloween store.

So I got to talk Halloween. I got to be a vampire in a radio commercial. It was actually pretty fun. I just did that.

So now I'm in this mood. I don't think we should do this entire segment like this. No, this voice would get better at the start of the week after a while. Very.

But I was like, what if I was like, they hired me at that store to just show up and be fat Dracula? I am fat Dracula. How are you all doing? And just insult people all day and just talk shit and pick up on girls and say inappropriate things.

It would be amazing. You'd be like, every year around Christmas, somebody dresses up as the Grinch and just uses it as an excuse to be an asshole in public. And yeah, you would just do that as Dracula. That would be great fat Dracula.

So little lady, are you interested in eternal life? Probably more like three minutes. But either way, pretty good. Those would be my Dracula joke.

Maybe we should just talk about you. That's what we should do. How are you doing? I'm doing pretty good.

My partner and I have been able to meet up a couple of times since the last time we spoke. And yeah, we've been having some good times. I love you. Are you squeezing the titties?

I am squeezing the titties and the pussy. You squeeze the pussy together? Do you make a talk? Mmm.

Mmm. Chicks love that when you do that, by the way. Right. Well, when you squeeze the nipple and like you hit the G spot at the same time, you actually take a screenshot.

So yeah, I've been doing that. Good. Good. It is good that you are in the holes.

Also, I was listening to the podcast a couple of weeks ago and I wanted to kind of commit to right with you about nipple sensitivity. And mine are pretty sensitive. I have to be careful about what kind of shirts I wear because rub against it and then my nipples will be like, I like nipple play, but there's a level of like, you know, those like a jersey type material. Like I can't wear those for too long or like, it's just awful.

And then you got to get like duct tape and paper towels to create like a buffer zone around it. Yeah, you must have heard that episode. Now I know what you're talking about. Yeah.

It's horrible. And like I have some pasties because occasionally I work with models that like don't want to show bits and stuff. And so like I've even considered when I've been wearing those shirts like maybe I should put pasty on and just like that would be amazing. But you get it's just like little like I'm here slogans and little happy faces and then you just have to wear a shirt that see through so people can be like, is he wearing pasties?

Yeah. Yeah. That would be amazing. I would totally do it.

I'm just worried that even the pasty would be too sensitive. That's why I create like the whole like catcher's mask fucking like literally that's what it is. It's a catcher's mask over my nipple. If I could just get a little bitty like bra that had two catchers masks on it and where that I'd be like totally protected and feel super happy about my nipples.

Don't touch my nipples. I'll make it a deal between both of us if we ever become gay for each other. Just no nipples. No nipples understood boy.

Did I sure put a visual in some listeners head right there. It's just a batch of not pretty. Oh, look. It's a fat guy in a Dracula outfit with two catchers masks over his tits trying to have sex with a guy in a kilt.

Okay. I'm sure there's a fetish group for it somewhere. Level 34 if there's something there's porn of it. Absolutely.

So let's move into something equally as awkward. What is our little discussion about today? Bellosuitary not imaginary gay person. Yes.

Yeah, imaginary gay people. So our article today again comes from ericaless.com and this is a article is entitled Men. It's time to start experimenting with toys. Men in general are big fans of tech and sex but there's not a lot of crossover between the two in general.

Out of the global sex market, 52% of women have reported using a toy during masturbation. While only 23% of men do the same. A big problem is that most men just don't know what they're missing when it comes to sex toys. One of the issues with toys is the perception of how the sex is masturbate.

With women it is a whole kaleidoscope of choices and are usually met with positivity about reclaiming their sexuality. Oh, there's even parties for women to get the toys. Yes indeed. But with men it's back and off.

Just a party with no pants. Yes. Toys can only give you a release but they can help you. Toys can not only give you a release but they help you get in touch with aspects of your sexuality that you may not have thought to try before which can translate to play with your partner after learning what you have learned with the toys on your own body.

You can start with traditional masturbation. What? I'm sorry. Honey, I've decided I'm a vegetable sexual.

I'm into cantaloupes with holes in them and how we're going to incorporate that into our bedroom. Just get the catcher mask and here we go. Well honey, I'll get the catcher's mask if you get all of the lovely latex balloons because I've learned that I really like playing with balloons. Do you masturbate with balloons?

I don't personally but I do remember that being I think it was the HBO series like Strange Sex or something. And they interviewed somebody who they got sexually aroused and like their house was just full of those like rubber balloons. Oh yeah, that's like a dude balloon fetish is like a big deal and it's for some people it's about the anticipation of it popping when you're rubbing it on your skin because balloons pop right and those are the shit out of you and or get you excited and then there's some that just like the feeling but when you're a kid that's how you learn to suck a teddy is by fucking filling up a water balloon and then making out with it. Am I the only one that's done that?

I doubt you're the only one that's done that but I did not do that as a kid. No. Yeah dude that's how you learn to suck a teddy motherfucker. If I can fill a water balloon and then you just sit there and you suck it in your mouth and then people think you're just a dumb kid but you're really like yeah because like the little and the little you know receptacle at the end you know it's kind of like a nipple and then you right right.

You learn how to not bite because otherwise oh my god I broke your teddy. My proceed and they're sorry sorry distract balloons are out. Sorry now I just have a vision of like biting into a teddy that's like floods my face of water. And it floods your face like oh I hope that was saline and not the silicon.

Sorry about the implants. Okay whoops. So you can start with traditional masturbation sleeves think fleshlights or something similar. That's usually what's advertised towards men and then work your way up from there.

Why not invest in your orgasmic pleasure to get it even more help yourself and maybe help maybe even help others. A great place is to find a one of a local sex shop that's nearby you. You kind of want to do your research some of them are just like they're just pop up shops that just they just selfish it but then you have places like here in LA we have a shop called the pleasure chest and they actually will have classes and they actually have specifically higher people who have some sort of experience or education in the products and so they'll be able to help you get more you know you'll get more information on information. Well this is an interesting topic.

I have a couple I have a lot of thoughts about male sex toys and I also have a thoughts about I don't think I mean other than maybe some of the social stigmas of not being much because guys have been made fun of for fucking blow up dolls for 50 years. That's just you know that's been like he's got a blow up doll. It's his girlfriend because it's like an emasculating thing like you can't get a chick you have to fuck a cantaloupe or a blow up doll. But even in the recent times we have a lot of exposure that their fleshlights we all know about fleshlights you can go online and go to Dr.

Doze channel on YouTube and there's an amazing she does a really thorough like how to make literally 30 different Feepies which is like a jack-off toy like you have fleshlight like you take a paper cloth like really having problems. I'm like making little rubbing motions in my hand like that's going to help me. You take a cloth and then you put a surgical glove in it and you roll it up and you tape it with a toilet tube in it and you pull the tube out you shoot lube in it and that's your cord of vagina. You know there's a million things that people can do but I think another thing that was mentioned in the article was the amount of time I think you might have just said it that the female orgasm can last up to 20-30 seconds and the male orgasm lasts about three seconds.

Three to five seconds the average male orgasm. If you're into anal stuff which I forget his name we did a whole thing on prostate and whatever that obviously can be a much more thorough body experience for some people. But I think in general the reason guys don't and surely the reason I don't use a lot of toys is because I just want to jerk off for 20 seconds before I go to sleep. You know I'm not into the you know my sex isn't about you know my thing it's about creating the thing with my partner so that's why I've never really had and unless you're really into the anal which I'm not into I fucked myself with those before and it just it feels like kind of like you're rubbing an elbow it's not doesn't really do anything for me and I got a hemorrhoid for four days and it was fucking awful and I said okay not gonna do that again that was a no-win situation.

So I think if you're not into anal and prostate stuff it's really it's it's work and most guys I think are just lazy. Yeah well but that's also like I mean there's the stereotype of for men for men it's like a joystick and for women it's like you know space control like there's a lot more that's that stereotype of that and I think if that's what you're into like I also have like you know jerk off to sleep or jerk off because like I wake up and I have to take care of this now but I think for me personally like I do use a masturbator sometimes like it's definitely not an all the time sort of situation. What does your masturbator do? Is it just a flesh light or a?