Do you own personal headling? Someone that's monster the show helping us grow and just for headling. Kathy lives in constant sorrow. Kathy!
I am a girl of constant sorrow. Oh, so you know that song then? I do. Yeah, the little man, constant sorrow.
Well today Kathy, oh that's gross fucking people are making out in front of me. Oh my god, and it's a guy, if it was two chicks it'd be one thing, but it's some bearded fucking dorky guy and he's making out with his girl and they're like literally leaning against the car like 10 feet in front of me like have some deep, oh dear god, finger her. They don't even know how to kiss. He's literally like flopping her all around and he's like looking and she just looked at him like you are new at this.
That's kind of bitter boogie, I'm not gonna lie. I am bitter. Well, I mean even in movies I hold my thumb up to cover out the guy because it's just gross because they're just guys are gross when they kiss. It's why I hate women that keep their eyes open when they kiss.
I'm like don't look at me. I wouldn't look at me. There is something really really wrong with you guys. Do not look terrible when they kiss.
I love opening my eyes. You are the one with the problem. Uh, if you want to look at me when we make out Kathy, you are the one with the problem. Oh my god, you're such a dork.
The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only. View or discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it. But if you're curious, here we go.
One, two, three, four. Here you feel your six-loppiest lot playing. Birdie podcast. Scared that your designers want me straight.
Birdie podcast. Come and join our Kinky World of Play. Birdie podcast. Woo!
Yay! Hello and welcome out to this carnage of a show. Watching people grossly make out. Kids jump off parking structures to their death possibly.
You're listening to Birdie podcast, the show where we talk about kinky stuff. Yeah, you know, recording live in this absolute heat wave that is Los Angeles today. It was so hot and humid and it rained today. And I really, and no, not in a mean way boogie.
My thoughts were with you all day today. Oh, Kathy, my thoughts were with you. I'm like, her hair must be so frizzy right now. No, because I was in door in the air conditioning.
Oh, well then fuck you. I am no longer thinking. I was looking out for your hair, Kathy. Looking out, I'm like, this would wreak havoc on Kathy's hair.
No, she was inside air conditioning. Well, thank you. But I'm in a good mood because apparently I'm leaving again to go to Texas. Oh, so the decision has been made, huh?
Well, I'm going to say 99.9. I got my car fixed yesterday because it had some things that I couldn't drive with well on a long distance. And I'm getting tired tomorrow morning. So it doesn't explode on the road.
And I packed half my stuff. They've cleared out the room for me. So I'm going to say it looks pretty much like I'm going. There's no backing out at this point.
There's no, well, you know, you know, you know me something could always happen. But it's not like the last time, Kathy. I mean, it's kind of like the last time because I'm going to Leah's house. And we knew that it was kind of rough on me after a while.
But that was during a pandemic, during the shutdown, complete shutdown. So there was nothing open. My car didn't work. The ravioli ran two days while I was there for four months and not a single other day.
So I was trapped in a house in a buggy part of Texas, you know, and then whatever tensions that Leah and I had after being in each other's space for four months. You know, so there was a lot of stuff, you know, going on. That's not this way. I have a running car.
We have all these plans. We're going to, you know, we're going to go to her friend's house and they're like literally right on the water. You can cast a fishing rod over their deck into the bay kind of thing. Wow.
And we'll go fishing, you know, goofing off on the beach. You can go to the beach now. Her health has gotten a little better. I'm still going there to help her, you know, not die in the middle of the night.
She passes out from sugar dropping. Hey. But in general, she has tickets to this big aquarium that's there. And I told Enigma it is in Corpus, you know, I talked to Enigma before I talked to you.
So I kind of let the cat out of the bag that it was by Corpus Christi. And that's where that radio station was. But I'll talk more about that in a little bit. Because fuck it.
I'm not there anymore. You told Enigma before you told me. Well, that's because there's this thing that I don't do called time travel. And I did Enigma's segment, which comes on later in this show three days ago.
I am so hurt. I can't even believe it. But I did think about your frizzy hair. So, you know, I didn't think about Enigma's frizzy nut hair today.
Or whatever hair that Enigma has that I don't think about. Because it's Enigma. I love Enigma. I just don't want to think about humidity affecting his tesicle hair.
He's just a sweaty man. And we've now acknowledged that you don't like sweaty man. I'm not a big fan of sweaty guys. It is true.
So anyway, blah, blah, blah. Looks like I'll be out in Texas. And that's going to give me air conditioning, be a shower and a place to sleep. And internet that runs all day.
So I put out some some feelers today for some people to give me some ideas. Because maybe I want to do some how-to videos. Because I did some TikTok videos the last time I was there. And maybe do some more instructional stuff.
And it just I mean, I'm going to be in a place. So that means I have the whole day that I can actually, you know, kind of produce things and do things. So so I'm just going to try to take advantage of that time during the summer. What did you do this week, Kathy?
Wow, I can't really say that I did anything out of the ordinary. I will. I will say that I have an exciting thing coming up this Saturday. I will be attending a kinky party.
What? Yes, I have invited to my Michelle's kinky birthday party. What? Where is it?
I know. It's some weird, I don't know, downtown place that looks like it's, you know, surrounded by homeless people. You know, it's downtown LA. It's like all those people.
You're my people. Exactly. So yes, I can't wait. I can't wait to see my friends.
I can't wait to have a good time. Can't wait to be around kinky people. It's been a long time. This is a total femdom party, which I am.
I have had a femdom itch that needs, has needed to be scratched for a long time. So I just can't wait to go. You think you might be a given a deserving young gentleman as mate? Young old, I don't care what he looks like.
Just you're going to punch some dude in the balls. As long as he kneels, knows how to kneel, knows how to treat a woman on there. Well, I hope you find a boy. Oh, we'll find a boy.
I hope you find yourself a boy to beat. I look forward to it. I look I'm already starting to talk in a fucking action. I know.
Fucking rode yet. Get ready kids. Three, four months in Texas. Y'all gonna be all y'all.
Y'all gonna be all you. It's fucking shit. Oh, when you find your love like waiting up, you might need some explaining. Don't do us for some fucking advice.
Well, Boogie, somebody has actually asked us for our advice. It has been a while since someone emailed us and said, Hey, man, we want to know what you think. And today I have an email from Joy. What a lovely, lovely name.
Joy! Did Joy, she sparked a joy. Oh, my. And she says, dearest darlingst Cathy and Boogie.
I like the opening already. I'm just going to say that much right now. She said, you're named first because you're the most darlingsest. I'm the dearest of the darlings.
Not really, I suck. She says, your pleas for emails have not fallen on deaf ears. First off, I want to thank you, Cathy, for your vulnerability and courage regarding the life situations you've been dealing with. And for taking the time you needed to take care of yourself.
I'm glad to have you back on the show and I truly admire and appreciate your strength and emotional vulnerability. Well, that practically made me cry. When I read it, it's very sweet. You know, thank you.
I, you know, stuff like that always, you know, me, Boogie, it always makes me very. You're everybody's favorite. Oh, stop it. I am not bitter man.
I got bitter Boogie today. All right. That's me, a bitter man. That's going to, that should be the name of your blog while you're out there.
Bear in Texas. She loves him. He's a bitter man. Not a really good, any veteran personation, by the way, at all.
All right. Joy says, now for my thing, after a bit of a dry spell with my partner due to mental and health and general life problems, we're trying to get back into having sex again. It's been difficult to say the least. I feel as though I've lost my sexual confidence in part due to issues with vaginal pain, something I'm already working on, and in part because I know that for quite a long time, I haven't been meeting my partner's sexual needs.
There have been underlying reasons for this, which we both discussed at length and have worked on together, but the bottom line is I've been falling short and I feel bad about that. I know I've caused him a lot of hurt by procrastinating on his needs over the past couple of years. Now, because of this, I worry that any verbal validation he gives me about my progress will be lip service. How can I regain my confidence and start to feel like the freak I know I am when I know that I still have a long way to go before I quote, meet expectations?
And then she adds an important note, my partner isn't asking anything of me that I don't want to do. He's not pressuring me in any way to go outside of my comfort zone. These needs are also things I want. I'm just nervous to try them out.
Well, that's a good thing to add because now we know that you have a supportive partner. That's absolutely true. That would have been an entirely different approach, because now this seems to be all about, I heard six different things of her sabotaging herself within security in every shape of the way. You won't even be able to accept his validation without being suspect that he's just saying it is lip service and I'm not going to be good enough.
And it's like, this is a clear, I'm going to let you go because I got pages. Well, I want, that was what you said. You're right on the money. That was exactly what I wanted to talk about because she starts off really strong by stating legitimate reasons why this is happening.
And it doesn't seem to me that she's procrastinating at all, even though she says she's caused him hurt by procrastinating on his needs. Doesn't sound to me like you're procrastinating Joy. You said that you're taking care of it. You're talking to doctors.
You're even talking to therapists. You're working on it. The two of you are communicating. Not quite sure if the procrastinating is actually happening, or if it's something that you just feel that word is very important because somebody who procrastinating for number one procrastinating is not a bad thing.
Almost nothing is a bad thing. It is when it starts to go over into habitual behavior or behavior that starts to negatively impact your life. I procrastinate a lot. I used to procrastinate a lot more and it negatively impacted my life.
You cannot go through life without procrastinating here and there once in a while because we have in this in modern society, we have a lot of responsibilities and things weighing on us and asking for our attention. There are times when you need downtime. And unfortunately, I think that a lot of people included myself, we think that when we're taking care of ourselves and relaxing and doing things that have no value to anyone but ourselves, that is equal to procrastinating. And often it's not.
Number one, I would caution you on that word and ask yourself, are you really procrastinating? And the second thing was that the worrying that any verbal validation he gives you about your progress you're making is just lip service. Listen, I am right now going through hell with my therapist trying to get to the root cause of my own low self-esteem, my critically low self-worth. We're trying to get and we have gotten to the core of where it is.
People like you and myself who exhibit that kind of extremely low self-esteem. There is always a root cause for it. There's always something in childhood and it's usually something that you didn't even realize is what's happening. It's usually something that happened when you were so young that you didn't realize you formed these feelings of not being good enough.
But there's always a root cause there. And I know that what I'm about to say doesn't really help you, but you have to get over it one way or another. You have to get over it. And I know how hard that is because when you have low self-esteem, critically low self-esteem, there's no button you can switch on your brain that says, oh, I'm just going to switch it now and all my low self-esteem will go away.
It doesn't work that way. I have spent my entire life battling my low self-esteem when it got to its worst because I didn't know any better and I was younger. It fell over into severe depression and that was a bad time for me. I want you to understand that I'm not saying this from the lofty heights of someone who doesn't have low self-esteem.
I'm telling you this from someone who has battled their whole life. And I know that it's not something that happens overnight. And you're two years of dealing with other issues, your health issues, your mental health issues, is difficult enough without putting on top of it the problems that you have worrying and wondering if your partner who by everything I'm hearing sounds really supportive that worrying that he is just paying lip service. I understand how hard it is, but that as Boogie would tell you, because I've heard him make this argument before, that's actually disrespectful to your partner.
If you believe them and you trust them and there's no reason why you shouldn't, if you then tell them, I know you just said that I'm making good progress, but I don't believe you. What does that say about how little you respect them, let alone how little you respect yourself? Here, here, double here, here, triple here, here. Preach it, sister, Katharina.
El Pritcho. Indeed. El Pritcho. Katharina.
I love what you said. I am completely on board with all of this. This is, there is so much to this. And of course, you and our lovely listener is also not the only insecure person in this conversation that has radical insecurities that I've been dealing with my whole life.
We have a, what is it, a quorum? We have a quorum. We have an absolute 100% quorum here. We could literally make some sort of law of insecure people with all of us together.
But what's exciting is, is that together with our combined basic intelligences, we can now objectively look outside of each other's insecurity and talk to each other on a level that we all understand. And I think you just very eloquently shared your observation that is outside of our, of the person who is asking our opinion. And that is amazing. Let me also add to that and hopefully together as three fucked up insecure people, maybe we can make some sense of these types of situations because it is, it is really important.
What I see is happening right now is after reading that letter, now take this as humorous because that's what it meant was I was like, shut the fuck up. Shut your brain up. You are completely living in the future. That is anxiousness.
And I went on Mayo Clinic.com today to look up painful sex, which we've talked about on the show, which Dr. Doe talks about on her and she's had it. And it's called, I'll find that in a second. But I want to first stick with the sabotage and telling your brain to shut the fuck up.
Anxiousness is one of the causes of painful sex in a lot of times when it's a psychological after this thing that I'll talk about in a second. You have to stay in the moment. And in the moment, you make one step because that's all you can do each moment. So you don't have to accomplish the entire meeting your partners needs, to what you have in your head equates to a validation of meeting his needs.
All you have to do is make the effort in the moment to start that process. You have his support. You've said multiple times that you guys have talked that he supports you that he's not pressuring you. Great.
You now have an open door to do something in the moment. If you know specifically the types of things he likes or the types of needs that he has, just do that. Just do something simple. Even if it's not all the way, it's something that puts you in that fear or danger of having painful sex.
Then obviously that's something that you have to take at smaller steps because you have to deal with the painful sex before you can get over it. And I've dealt with this with Bunny. I've dealt with this with other partners. It is a real thing.
Now I have to look because I have 500 pages of notes, Kathy, which I believe it. I've seen you with your 500 pages of notes. Well, I got well, this is something we talked about a lot on the show. This is something a lot of women go through at one time or another to the point where you can go on Mayo Clinic dot com and all these other medical sites.
And there's tons of research. It's a syndrome called, oh man, I can't even read the pronunciation. It's dysparunia, dysparunia. That's what it's called.
D-Y-S-P-A-R-E-U-N-I-A. Whatever. It's got a name. It's got a name and it goes down just this list of things that cause it that are physical that can be anything from childbirth to different things to medications that you're on that can affect it.
Antidepressants, antihistamines, certain birth control pills. And then of course trauma is irritations. If you've had an accident or a pelvic surgery or a cut made during childbirth, there's all these things that talk about vaginist and involuntary spasms and the muscle blah blah blah. And then it gets into a giant page of psychological issues that can also cause painful sex, a reaction in your body that says, don't mate.
This is as old as biology. And there's tons of research on this. Anxiety, depression, concerns about your physical appearance, fear of intimacy or relationship problems that contribute to a low level of arousal resulting discomfort or pain. Stress, your pelvic floor muscles tend to tighten in response to stress in your life.
If you have stress, anxiety or a fucking pandemic that you just had to survive that can cause painful intercourse. These are all things that just goes on and on and on. And then it gets to the kicker, Kathy. At the very end of this, initial pain can lead to fear of reoccurring pain, making it difficult to relax, which can lead to what?
More pain. You might start avoiding sex if you associate it with the pain. And I'm not talking about good sexy, tanky pain. I'm talking about pain that your whole body is going, don't do this.
So there's a lot that can be in a mind that can make sex painful for a woman. And it's okay. It's normal. She our poster is taking great efforts.
She's seeing not only a doctor but a therapist to work on both possibilities. And that gives you the best leg up to actually start to make headway. But right now you can stay in that moment. You can stay in the moment with your partner and even talk to them about it and say, hey, I want to start taking some little steps, you know, and let's just see what happens.
And if they're supportive, like you say they are, we're probably happy with almost anything you're going to do. That's very true. I agree with you. I will reiterate that it's there are steps you can take, but it doesn't happen overnight because the question that she has, how do I get my confidence back?
Okay, that was that is a big question. And I'm going to refer her back to the very beginning, the first paragraph of her email and when she in which she thanks me for taking the time I needed to take care of myself. So I want you joy to think about what you just said to me and how much compassion and empathy you have, how much patience you have. You don't even know me.
I would imagine that you know your partner and love him or her a lot more than that and vice versa. If you can find that kind of compassion for someone else, which I've no doubt that you can, that's one of the hallmarks of people with low self-esteem, is that they have a huge double standard. When it comes to other people, they will bend over backwards for them, give them the benefit of the doubt, be totally patient, empathetic, sympathetic. There's very few lengths that somebody like you will not go to in order to make their friend feel better.
You're capable of doing it to someone else, but you find it difficult to allow someone to do it to you. So my suggestion, one of the things that did help me a little is to remember that me talking to someone else and imagine what it's like to be on the receiving end, to make it an exercise where you say, can I do what I'm always telling other people to do? Take the time for yourself, take care of yourself what you just did in this email to me. Imagine what it's like to be on the receiving end.
Try and put yourself in someone else's shoes, in the shoes of someone that you're counseling to take care of themselves, because that part of you, it exists. That part of you that speaks to your friend or your partner or your coworker or someone you care about who you see as in pain, that part is already fully fledged in your head. All you have to do is turn that counselor around on yourself. Here, here, take the little wins and every time you have a little win, put that in your evidence bag and then build that bag with little wins until you start building that confidence.
I think this is a great topic and I'm glad Joy, Joy, Joy. I love it. Keep us updated on how things go with your pervertedpodcast at gmail.com and once again, if anyone has some advice, not saying where it's always going to be the best advice or the worst advice, but it will be another opinion. Advice.
Yeah. Pinky World News is sometimes cool and sometimes welcome. Let's glory hold the planet right now with the nigma. Yeah.
Well, hello there, Mr. Boogie. Ah, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, the nigma buzz. Ah, buzz.
See, I see what you're doing there. I see what you're doing there. Building the anxiousness and anxiety. Well, I'm building anxiety.
Yes, my coach too. But anxious. What anticipation? God damn it, Rocky Horror.
Build some anticipation amongst the kids. How the hell are you, Nigma? I'm doing pretty good. The lovely IRS at Mea Letter that says I owe them money.
So that's super fun. But other than that, that is so cool. Right? I love the IRS.
They are a much needed part of our society. Well, yeah, you know, roads. I mean, we're not going to get into the IRS or whatever, but it's like 50% of your tax dollars go to shit you wish didn't exist. But we are still driving on roads and there is still a fire department and stuff like that.
So it's true. You kind of need at least you're not going to have much infrastructure if something's not paid for it. But it just sucks when it's you. Right.
They ask to personally pay for it when there's other people that are definitely not paying for it. Right. Exactly. That's exactly right.
Like if other people were paying what they should be paying, it'd be a lot better. Well, thank you, Enigma. When I drive through Burbank after we finish recording, I'm going to roll down the window and say thank you to the road that I drive on. I mean, you could even get out and kiss it if you really want to.
Well, I don't think I really feel that much gratitude for your tax dollars. Oh, okay. Just maybe a passing thanks Enigma. That's fair.
Kind of thing. Have you gotten any play? So a couple of weeks ago, I did get some fun wax play in and that was a lot of fun. Oh, very good, very good.
With my partner. And so, yeah, it was a lot of fun. Did a design on their chest and like put like their start of their name, like in wax and then did a big decoration around it. Yeah, it was super fun.
That's very, very cool. When you do name stuff or whatever, do you have like a little mustard ketchup bottle thing that you drizzled, condiment bottle, I guess, and kind of drip it on evenly or do you just kind of try to spoon it on or candle drip it on that way? So we were doing candle dripping. We had both like the kind of standard issue stick candles that you can get from like Hustler, Polly, whatever, whatever.
Right. And then Dave brought with him this little like picture of wax. And so between those two, I was able to basically drip in the right places to make the letters and all of that. That's very cool.
That's very cool. I usually suck at the evenness. Like if I make patterns, like I put a little piece of cardboard or you can do cutouts, you know, and then like, you know, you can do wax play stencils, basically. Right.
So if you want to do something that looks really, really cool and even, but if you're just kind of doing it, you know, I mostly do the wax play for the sensation, the real, you know, the connection, all the energy and shit like that. But yeah, some people are just get really, really detailed on the stuff they come out, some really pretty looking stuff. But that sounds like fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
We it was just kind of a improv, or not impromptu, but like just like the design of it was just kind of like on the whim. I did stop with the picture after a while because, you know, as you're pouring out, there's the flame and the flame started to, I heard a crack in the glass star or the picture. Oh, and I'm like, it's not designed for high heat. I don't think so.
No, no, no, no. Yeah, crack number one equals put down whatever the canister is. That's unfortunate, but it's good. And that's, I mean, I'm going to be snobby.
I'm going to be super fucking snobby. Do it. That this is evidence. I'm not a super big fan of music during play scenes.
Okay. And I'm not a super, surely not a super big fan of loud music. If it's a specific scene where that you're going to flog and tempo and they're really into that band or whatever and they're, it's kind of a thing. Okay.
That's fun. I've done that and it's been fun. But in general, I really like, I'm going to be snobby. He's not going to sound snobby.
I like the music that my partner is creating that I'm playing on them. Like I am playing them like an instrument. That being said, also, when shit breaks, when shit cracks, which happens, you can actually hear it. Right.
And you were able to hear that and not keep going because you had stuff blaring in your head. And then all of a sudden next thing, you know, the thing breaks in half and your hand cuts you and then stabs your, you know, your partner. Right. Well, and thankfully the club I was playing at does have volume control in most of the rooms.
And so I was able to, and that's we're doing like the rhythmic thing and I played with the person a bunch of times. Like I will usually turn it down until it's just kind of background noise for that reason. Because I also want to be able to hear my partner, you know, say red or say yellow or say, ah, that hurts too much. So like, yeah, there's a lot of reasons to be able to hear what's happening in your scene.
Right. And once again, I know once again, no, I'm saying this for the first time, I'm saying it in my head once again, because I've had this argument with myself 300 times. I understand there are some people that music is integral to their that is their play. That is how they do it.
And of course, for safety, you would have to have other signals that alert your partner that you're having a problem or there's a safe word, sometimes whatever we've talked about those, sometimes it's holding a scarf. And then if you toss the scarf, that means, you know, red or any number of things. But it's I like to be able to hear what's going on. But I'm not yucking people's, you know, I'm not yucking someone's yum.
It's, you know, I just want to make sure that you don't, you know, you know, break glass on people. Right. Exactly. But it sounds like you have had an exceptional time.
Yeah, super, super fun. You're a delightfully lovely partner. And we hope for more shenanigans, I may, I don't know how soon my shenanigans will be coming, but I may be doing a geographical again. I haven't gone to Texas in a couple of years.
I may be going back to Texas and for a few months to beat the heat out here when it starts getting real hot again. And it's very different this time because now I'll have a car that actually runs, so I can go places where the last time I was there, I was literally trapped in Leah's house and with bugs and heat and, you know, whatever. But so that was awful. And also, as I have said, I don't know if I said on this show, I know I said it to the patrons because I don't care.
I quit, I quit the radio station. So it doesn't matter. That station that I worked on was in Corpus, which was 30 minutes away from Leah that I didn't live at at the time. So now the fact that I'm going out there, maybe I won't be doing stuff directly for the station, but there may be other things affiliated that I can do and have a lot of fun with my buddy who does a lot of, a lot of different events and stuff.
So it sounds like there might be some fun. That is always a good thing. And as a fan of, usually a fan of Texas, I think that sounds like a good plan. I definitely get away from, get a change of scenery for a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because Los Angeles kind of sucks right now. It's just kind of over things that I'm very over and personalities and whatever. And every now and again, a group of people try to hijack the kink community. And we've seen it before and then they try to bully everyone and tell everyone how they're supposed to be, otherwise they're not doing it right and stuff like that.
And that gets real old. So I'm just like, nah, I don't really want to venture out much into the Los Angeles scene right now. Mums the explanation, but everyone who knows me pretty much knows what I think anyway. But that being said, you have a couple articles that I found both intoxicatingly hilarious and also kind of interesting and validating of things that we've thought before.
So the first article that we're getting into comes from time.com. And it is entitled The Singing Penis, The Mascurating Cliterus and Other Sex Secrets of the Animal World. If only. So this article is kind of on the longer end.
So if you do want to check it out, I highly recommend it because we will only be kind of getting into the highlights of the article here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of the most striking aspects of the animals in our world, us included, is that we have evolved to reproduce in so many different ways. And remarkably, the differences between genitals are considerable.
Thinking about the origin of the penis brings up a lot of questions, like what purposes the penis serve? Why do they vary so much in shape and size? Why do you, where do the vaginas or the cliff fit into all of this? The article goes into a few different styles of penis around the animal kingdom.
So the first one they go into is called the Water Bookman. And they attract females by singing with their penis. Singing penis. They rather organ against the rough ridges of their abdomen to produce a powerful chirping that attracts the females.
The chirping can reach up to 99 decibels, which is about as much as an elephant trumpet. That is a rocket bug dig. Oh yes, you can hear them wanting to come from miles away. That's how fast do you have to rub your junk against your stomach to 99 decibels.
Now you're talking an elephant is big. A really random bug is very, very small to create. The same volume is something that's like that much bigger. You got to have a rock and cock.
There's just no, I mean, I get insecure, you know, a lot of guys we get insecure, you know, put up to other penises. It's just a normal thing. But sometimes you just got to hold up your hands and say, I can't, I can't compete. My cock would not be 99.
Like I could whack it against a fucking table or something. Right. It hurt. But I don't think 99 decibels from a bug jerking off.
That's got to be insane. It definitely got to wack them against the partner. That's kind of hot. But it's no 99 decibels.
No, it's more like flip, flip, flap. You like that baby flip flip. They're like, bring the fucking bug in here. I'm in a parking lot right now and it's just echoing literally through five levels of parking lot.
Screaming bug day. Fuck yeah. So the waterboat is not the only singing dick that we have on this list. The other one is called the Grass Moth and it comes with files, scrapers, and resonant zones that come together produce ultrasonic frequencies.
They science has talked about how they may use the sound to mate, find a mate, or even throw off bats. So they don't become the next meal and they do all this with their genitalia. Supersonic bat. I mean, that'd be an interesting superpower.
Oh, wait, bat. I'm trying to get laid. I'm trying to get later, bro. And then there's the fiend is just singing.
Let me whip out my magical singing. Oh, just on a car. It makes me think of there's this cartoon of Superman and Lois and it's like the first time that they're going to have sex. And so Clark, you know, opens his pants up and Lois gets scared.
And it's like, and he's like, what is this not all human penis? And she's like, no, are those pinchers? And he's looking very confused and like, yeah, how else do you grab onto them? Yeah, it's very, this is very reminiscent of that.
You know, all of a sudden, Pintra Dick Superman cock is for some crazy reason, more horrifying to me than ultrasonic screaming fucking 99 decibel penis, which by the way, are all great names for a band screaming bug dick, great name for the screaming bug dicks, great name for a band. Not as good as the sugar steaks though. Still stuck with the should did I tell you about that band? I don't believe so.
That's the band I want to start. The sugar steaks, Dave Grohl's going to play drums for me. Do you know why it's called the sugar steaks? Why is it called the sugar steaks?
Because bitches like that sweet dick. Oh, very good. See, Kathy was not impressed. Finally on this list, we have an animal called the fossa, the only mammal that we talk about in this article.
And it is a part of the Leamer family and is one of the largest carnivores in Madagascar. The fossa females, which is what we're talking about, while still young will go through a phase of masculineization for a certain period, they appear to be male. Their clip grows in size, develops spikes and overall puts off unwanted advances from males wanting to mate and predators. Okay, that just moved beyond Superman.
Screaming but screaming bug deck was cute. Superman was horrifying. Spiked in gorged female scaremen penis thing. That's the winner.
That is the most horrific thing. That is just like, I just wanted to go down on you. That I mean, how hard is it to get men to go down on you in the first place? And now all of a sudden your fucking glitter just pops out fucking spikes.
Well, it is not a winning situation. To be fair, it's when they're young and so they're just trying to keep all the creepy petals away. Okay, I got you on that one. That's fine.
But at some point, do those spikes kind of retract or something? And then what pops them out as adults? Yes. So once they reach maturity, the clitoris does kind of shrink back a little bit to more reproductive ready state.
So does that mean that animals have orgasms? I don't know if I've ever asked this. I think some do. But do those mammals have some type of orgasm to kind of make it worth their while because spike things in my junk, there better be a payoff.
So there are a lot of mammals that have sex and have like, they will ejaculate, but there's not as far as science is concerned, there's not as many that do it specifically for a pleasure. Right. So there for whatever reason their physiology is made up. So when it's reproduction, it's reproduction that's not really about the pleasure centers.
But this article doesn't necessarily go into that. But I would just like, for mammals, for sure, I think there's probably a wider range of species that have some sort of pleasure involved in it. Right. Right.
Right. I know there's like dolphins, bonobo monkeys or bonobo or bonobo monkeys, bonobos and then they have, they feel good, they have sex for pleasure. Like, bonobos, if the two male sides are going to start going at each other, then the chicks will be like, hey, dude, let's have an orgy. And they'll try to just start flirting and throwing their junk to get the men to stop their fighting, which I think is good.
I think more women should step up. And you and I, it'd be great because you and I would literally fake fight every day. We would literally like go and like, they'd be like, go buy where all the chick monkeys are and we'd literally be like, okay, Nick, are you ready? Yeah.
Okay, let's be enemies. And then we'd be like, wrong, wrong, start shaking branches and throwing shit and whatever to get the chicks to interject and be like, no, no, let's all fuck. And then we're like, okay, but I was gonna, I was gonna fight him. I mean, maybe because you and Kathy are so known for your fights.
Maybe you and Kathy can do that in front of some, some ladies, because you both like ladies. I don't think that, I don't think the girl monkeys would fall for that though. Okay. Like we have to pretend to be like warring tribes of man monkeys.
Oh, got you. That's what they do, man. Hey, dude, I didn't make up the bonobo rules. No, no, you did not.
This is just it. Just fake fight with me, Jesus, getting Nerf guns or something. I do have an arsenal of Nerf guns that that can happen. I'm terrified of more creatures on this planet now.
Thank you, Enigma. You're so welcome. And there's just a world of discovery for you if you wish to find out. Do we have another story?
We do indeed. So our next story comes from timesofisrael.com. And it is called hot, heavy protein turns sun into sex drive. Israeli study finds.
So Israeli researchers say that they have found the scientific reason behind summer 11. A team from Tel Aviv University suggesting that the very same protein in the skin that protects us from sunlight damage also causes chemical changes that trigger sex time. So we knew that the sun affected the testosterone levels in men, but there hadn't been any studies until what the first level of the test focused on directing UV light at mice. And the team reported hormone levels rising significantly, making both sexes more willing to mate.
And why? Because of the hormone P53, which gets fired up when met with sunlight. If you remove the P53, the effect goes away. The team says we were surprised by our findings until they open up many more topics for research.
They illustrate that the way our skin interacts with the environment around us impacts our behavior and ways we were only starting to understand. I think the the myth is now justified because we've talked about that on the show before too, is that a lot of women are like, wow, every time when I lay out in the sun, I get super duper horny. There's a lot of women that they love laying in the sun because they just get all tingly and horny. And I used to have friends that I would talk to and they were like, yeah, I just have to masturbate the second I finish sunbathing.
I go out in the sun and just I go masturbate. And so it's always kind of been that thing. But now it's kind of cool to finally see that there's some research behind it. And now we're finding out why.
Well, yeah, but it's also like there's a lot of erotica that starts with, oh, I was out sunbathing and there was the hot pool boy also out there working and we were both already hot. And therefore, sex happened. Like I definitely think there's definitely a reason why that fantasy and that genre of erotica exists for sure. Right.
But now we know. So now what we need to do in Nigma is we need to get some sort of supplement that has what is it the P 47 T5 fucking protein, P 53, the P 53. We have to get some P 53. Okay, this is going to sound real Bill Cosby.
I just totally caught myself going there. I was like, yeah, we're going to make cookies. And then we're going to put out P 53 cookies. And then you and I are going to fight and all the bonobo money and all of a sudden that's called rape.
You cannot do that. That is that that's that's pretty bill, pretty bill bill right there. Pretty guy do that. Okay, but as far as pussy cookie go with me on this.
Well, that's fine. That's totally fine. So that's fine. I don't want to be a I don't want to be a bonobo rapist.
But what we can do is we can say, Hey, we got some P 53 cookies. And then they're like, Okay, we know that makes us a little tingly. I don't know what they're going for. And then we add on the aggressive behavior towards each other.
That maybe even makes them more eager. Oh, and if we can an earlier episode, we can also take them through a haunted house. And that way you have the fear, the heat and the extra little P 53 going on. And then just have a good old fun sexy time.
Just my God, it just be monkey fucking everywhere. God damn I'm lonely. What is wrong with me? And they if the perverted podcast people are still with us, how would they continue to find us on the social media?
Well, if they would like to continue the chaos, they can find us on Instagram at perverted podcast. They can find us on Twitter at perverted PCAST. And they can find us on FETLIFES, both a group and a page. All right, this is a windfall that has landed on us boogie because we have also perverted mailbox happening here.
That's a I like windfalls, not used to them, but this is good. And this is our friend Bakura who wrote to us and regarding your Texas show because you talk about the Texas show on our no show. Right. But you can only get if you are a patron subscriber.
Yeah, that was a fun no show we had a couple of weeks ago. It's a good one. I didn't have fun. So Bakura is a patron supporter.
He heard the show. He said, may have this time you can actually detour through Austin to say hi and sit in the AC with the coffee. Also, Jacuzzi Tub and standing shower for some relaxation. And we have all the bug spray.
Hmm. It is tempting. It is when somebody tends to tempts you with bug spray and AC. That's hard to tell.
And now you're just literally trying to get in my pants at that point. That's pretty much that just makes me kind of an easy select almost. I'm like, well, they do a bug spray. Fine.
Fuck me. He also says at the end, because I spoke on the no show, I'm going to just give a little teaser here. I was trying to come up with a phrase or a name to use for my ex because I refuse to use his name anymore because I'm so pissed off at him and you and I boogie were making fun about how what's the most disdainful phrase or title we can use for him and Bakura wanted to weigh in. And he says regarding the accident, Kathy, call him ovulating anus.
Ovulating anus. It's a lot of syllables, but I like it. I love the imagination that went into that name. Because you know he sat there.
He said, what can I put it together? And ovulating anus. That's just where shit just keeps getting burnt. That's hilarious.
I like it. And hello, Delilah. Oh, hello. How are you doing, Delilah?
Who's Delilah? Well, we finally found out. Well, we said in the no show or I said in some show, I don't remember that we always say Bakura, but we never say his partner Delilah because I never know what name and he emails me back and he's all, oh, she says Delilah is fine, Dickhead. Like it's the same name that they've had for six years that they've said was fine.
Well, I don't know. Did he really say it's Delilah, Dickhead? Well, I think it was inferred. That's amazing.
How often that happens with you. It is kind of true. The dickhead isn't for her. Dickhead is just inferred.
Actually, it's implied you inferred it. Okay, so I did you just grammar not to me. What? I don't know what you're talking about.
What is this grammar not to you, speaker? Jesus Christ. Well, look, it's going to get worse, Kathy. I actually have a perverted mailbox.
What? Okay. Go with me on this. Why did I see it?
It came through to you personally? No, not exactly. Oh my God. Okay, so our the show is hosted on SoundCloud.
Yes. So we have profiles on SoundCloud for the perverted podcast and then for all our little dumb songs that I do. I have one for that. And so it's technically like a profile that people can email you on.
And I just never look because we don't. Now I know whether you're about to be pissed off at me, Kathy comes from. So about nine months ago. Oh my God, I'm getting pissed off already.
Maybe even a year ago. Oh, not me here. We got this email that was actually one of the nicest emails I've ever written. Oh, super sweet category.
Not that you know, like we get these emails and they're like really touching and lovely. And yeah, so I'm just reading, you know, so and I don't know whose name I could use because I emailed them back on that, but they haven't got back to me. But I know who it is. And they're also on our TikTok page.
And they've seen a lot of the TikTok videos. So this might have been as far back as when I was in Texas the last time a year and a half ago. So from person whose email I didn't see until a year later. Oh my God.
Well, I may be in my 40s. I am eternal little at heart. Well, at least until the toys come out and then I'm all sled. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I have blown past the zombie stage and well on my way to zamhood. I found you on I Heart Radio Shut Up. You Kathy and all the rest have become my favorite radio station. It goes on.
I sink you to my car and listen while I drive or just on the phone while I work around the house, you have helped me connect to the world in a way during this crap pandemic of 2020. Oh my God, you're killing me. When the wildfires were creeping up towards us, she's in a state that has wildfires. You helped me stay distracted while our sky was red.
I could see across the street. I know that you have been struggling. That hasn't changed. But I just wanted to remind you of how much of a difference you make to this world we live in.
Thank you, person. I didn't see email until a year later. Oh, that's it. That is the worst.
You bet. We better write back to this person and tell them you're going to be on show where are we? Three 57. I got to find them on FET life.
Yeah, I better find them. I can't believe you better run to Texas because I put my hands around you. Throw strangle you. I can't believe you.
Such a nice, nice letter that we got a year ago that we didn't really respond to. I responded to it a couple of weeks ago because I forgot to put it on the last show too. That's it. We suck.
I just, I didn't say it. I'm sorry. I didn't see it. So and what this does is it hopefully lets all of our listeners know because I'm sure we've missed an email here and there and sometimes people write like really, we're not that big that we can't ever return a fucking email.
Like we're nowhere near. Like when we start getting to 10, 20, 30,000 listeners and you get 10 emails a day, you're of course going to miss some. We don't get that. That's not we get like one or two or three a week, you know.