The stars at night are bold and bright deep in the heart of Texas. I have a feeling you sang this to me two years ago. Yes I did. I got to Texas, but it's good that you're consistent.
That's really... It's the only Texas song I know. I think there's a lot of them. The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only.
Viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it, but if you're curious, here we go. One, two, three, four. There you feel your six-loppiest quad.
Lane. That's the character that your designers want me to. Stray. Birdie Bucky.
Come and join our Kinky World of Play. Birdie Bucky. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Hello and welcome to Birdie Bucky. The show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle, sex, the human mind, and Texas. Recording live boogie in Texas, Kathy, in California.
We are so worldly. We're all over the place. We are global. Don't even look into how global you and I are.
So yeah, I'm in Texas. Again, I did one of those. Time to go. Can't live in a car anymore.
The temperature just kind of decides it for you. It kind of does. And I was leaning there and I talked on our patron page to our patron supporters about going. I think I might have mentioned it on the main show here that I was going to probably go back.
But my friend Leah, still my friend with, I've been like all nurse stuff now in the last few days. Wow. I'm like doing shit, Kathy. Like crazy, like medically shit because as for those of you that have been around for a while, my friend Leah in Texas, you know, she has these health problems.
She's got a line running in her chest. And so I come out to kind of help out with her and in the kid of mania. I now have an 11 year old shadow in my world. That's like you're my only friend and we painted rocks today.
That was an exceptionally interesting time. But because she has these health problems that can actually be life-threatening and very severe, I need to know what to do in case of emergencies. You know, because if she passes out that she needs steroids like band, otherwise you can not wake up. And so of course, I don't want to kill my friend or be a part of her dying.
So it's kind of a fear, but I got to learn how to inject all these things into her line and not kill her, but actually help her. So I'm like, there's, you know, you can intellectualize this shit and be like, okay, well, I'm going to put a steroid in here and this and I've watched her a thousand times do it. But I'm like, no, bro, you know, I got to get hands on. She says, hell yeah, I had to train, you know, she had to train her kid to do it.
And she saw all right. So the last three days, picture Count Boogie with like, gloved up and I've done needle play and tap veins and done blood play and things like that. This is like the next level because you this is I am fucking with a line that is going directly into somebody's heart. And I'm just going to be honest, it scares the shit out of me.
Right. Because, you know, I hope there's an air bubble to how does that vote? Well, Leah, hello. Yeah.
So, um, but I push past the fear and she just sits and laughs at me the whole time. So it makes it kind of funny. And then she was also trained as a surgical assistant. She has a degree.
And so she knows everything started. So yeah, so I've been doing that the past two days and I am getting better at it. And I'm less nervous. Like the first time I'm literally like my stomach just went turned into knots.
And I'm like, we got to get through this pretty quick kiddo because, uh, because I'm trying to fade here. I'm starting to fade here. Uh, but no, and it's good. And the reason I talk about that is it's funny and vulnerable or whatever.
But there's a lot of people that have, you know, family members and friends and things and have some serious medical issues. And there's first responder stuff you need to know because you can say, oh, you can push in your mind. I hope it doesn't happen. I hope it doesn't happen.
But then all of a sudden, bam, it happens. And we used to do classes with, uh, with Jay Wiseman, who was an emergency guy. And he taught a lot of classes. It was big in the community for years and years.
And he says, you know, how many people literally just drop dead in front of their family and the family has no idea what to do. So they call 911, but in that, you know, five, 10, 20, 30 minutes, it takes for the responders to get there, that person's dead on the floor. Oh, man. If you can't push past that fear of doing things wrong to learn those, how are you going to know in the moment?
You're just going to be like, call 911, put a towel on them or something. Right. And, and there are things to do and you need to push past that fear and take that first aid class and run through those procedures. And Lee and I have a very, very serious talks about why she would pass out.
What are the things that can happen? Could it be her drop in sugars? Could it be her adrenal failure? You know, and now I feel, you know, I'm still scared of her passing out, but at least I'm not going to be.
Right. So I think it's, it's good. If I can push past my fear, you guys should too, if you have family members that have issues or even, you know, diabetes, any of those things, just know, what do I do in case of an emergency and then practice some run throughs. Cool.
That's quite a low though you're carrying. Well, I mean, once again, you can care. I'm here. If I ignore it, then I, you know, if you care about someone, put in, you know, try.
Yeah. Well, and you know, I get to hang out with, with Leah and we get to cause all sorts of problems because I am back in radio out here and I'm back on the air and they're paying me. They, I held out. I'm not getting paid a lot.
Kathy. What? Wait, just a second. You're burying the freaking lead here.
Boogie. Well, you got a job, a paying job. I think that somewhere in the background, I can hear the hordes of Patreon supporters cheering, getting up on their feet, yelling and just very, very happy for you or just shock or just they're like, he'll fuck it up soon. Don't worry.
Or is that just the voices in my head? That's your head. That's probably my head. But yeah, and I'm getting paid to do radio and I'm in an air conditioned room where all my equipment is set up.
I don't have to go into the library and fight with crazy other homeless people. So I can do stuff. I did, you know, and that leads to what you and I can now. I do and we get to step up our game and stepped our game up to Perth, Australia.
You really call that stepping up our game? Oh, I think so. I think once we drop this on our listeners, our friends, long time perverted podcast, Patreon supporters, Samos and little villain, they move to a different part of Perth, Australia and they're like, well, fuck it. We're going to have some parties.
We're going to have some kinky parties. There's a pretty cool community out there and it's fucking Australia. So you know, it's got to be fun. So they said, Hey, we need a jingle for our party.
They started a profile on Fetlife, Kingster's Paradise, no E on paradise. So it's just Kingster's Paradis. So there's no E and you can join that group and then check out their parties. And they're like, Hey, we need a jingle and there's no one better to do that jingle than Boogie and Kathy.
Been spending most of life time in the Kingster's paradise. Been spending most of life, speaking in the Kingster's paradise. Been spending most of life, swinging in the Kingster's paradise. Been spending most of life, living in the Kingster's paradise.
Word to my kinksters. That's right. You can't go on by it. Yeah.
Bam word. That's the thing. Now we are pretty much celebrities in all of Australia. Yeah, I think you're just stretching the truth.
You can think whatever you want about the magic. But the people that paid us to do it really, really liked it. Let me tell you, I would love to attend those parties because they sound like they're going to be fucking awesome. Well, Kathy, we're just a 27 hour plane ride away from attending those parties.
But no, it was a lot of fun, Kathy. And you rocked it. I rocked it. And people are going to walk into that party and they're going to play that as they enter.
So. So Oh, stop it. Those are pussy tastes like eggplant. Don't talk it now.
So, Kathy, my dear Kathy, Katharina, Catherine of Cantopia. I had kind of, I don't know if it was a hair go at my ass or just something that I've been observing more because I'm reading more articles on FET Life and trying to learn, you know, what's the pace of the community quote unquote, which just started my peeve anyway. And seeing over the last month, so many people say, I'm sick of the community. Fuck the community.
I'm sick of this community. Blah, blah, blah, community, community, community. Community. I then went on this rant that I am now going to read a piece of to you and then we can talk about it.
If that's OK, I am ready. Kathy. There is no actual kink community. Hmm.
There is no LGBTQ plus extra letters community. There is no any community. Did you sign something? Do you pay dues?
Do you have business meetings and elect community officials? What is the function of your governing body? Who wrote and established the constitution of your community? There is no actual community.
Oh, sure. You have a lot of people that say they have authority to speak for that group of people of like minded people, but you, me and Kathy have to be very careful to always remember that we have no more authority to influence the world than anybody else. All we have is a word community and it creates the impression of safety size and whatever you and your circle consider the right way to follow your specific philosophy, but there is no real community. Huh.
Well, that's an intriguing concept, Boogie. So here's what I want to get into. My concept is, of course, having a group of like minded people and, of course, trying to have an ethical group of like minded people, once again, what are those ethics who makes that standard? We have so many people that are completely judging this community or that community or saying they are the representatives of that community.
And if you don't adhere to our morals and principles, you are no longer part of this community, but there's no fucking actual community. So we kind of are trapping ourselves by excluding ourselves from this group and excluding ourselves from that group and judging this and doing that when there's actually no community. So what, Kathy, is community? Well, you raised some interesting points, Boogie, because community is a very vague term.
It's just a group of people. I mean, that's basically the definition. It's a group of people, the word community, but unfortunately, fortunately, unfortunately, depending on what you're looking at, can have varying connotations. And it's those connotations, I think that that screw us up, the trip us up, because the term community gives us this warm and lovely feeling of acceptance and camaraderie and shared goals.
And that can happen. But if it happens, it happens in my opinion, by accident, it happens because the right group of people got together and they just happen to all agree for the most part and everything is wonderful. But unfortunately, it doesn't last because at some point, another group is going to come in or someone, one other person will come in or the landscape will start to change or any number of things happen. And suddenly, the community that you thought you could rely on falls apart and they're banning you and they're calling you names and everything turns horrible.
It's a fucking apocalypse. And I think the problem is that from the very beginning, we had the wrong impression of what was happening around us. We had a false sense of security. Right.
And I think a community is a wonderful thing. As long as you understand that it is a group of people and people are prone to being volatile, to being angry, to drawing lines in the sand, to calling you out, to ostracizing you if they feel that you no longer belong. And as a result, being in a community is a fucking rocky road. It's like a roller coaster ride where you never know what's going to happen.
One right now, the one day the term community to you means wonderful things. And then suddenly the term community tomorrow can mean the exact opposite. So it's a tricky, it's a tricky word. It's a tricky concept and it's something you need to be very aware of when you start aligning yourself with them and expecting things from them.
Because in my opinion, you're just setting yourself up for a fall. Kathy, that was absolutely eloquent and wonderful. Oh, I really, I really enjoyed how you put it. You know, of course I have 90 pages of notes on this and I'm going to not read most of them.
But it is true. I think in general, this is my general opinion. And once again, we use the word community because you have to have a word for something that this is a group. And but I think like you said, it's kind of a trap because the goal of life is to become better human beings for ourselves with ourselves.
It starts with me. My goal in life is to become a better, happier person of better service to, you know, and that's the goal I set for myself. So my community mentality has to start with me. What do I want out of life and how do I want to be as a person?
And then I go out and I start seeking kind of a support group, the community, the like-minded people that also have a similar mission statement in life. Some people, it's not all about service in this. Sometimes it's just, you know, these are the people that I dance with. These are the people that I party with.
These are the people that I, you know, put things up, you know, my Michelle's pussy with, you know, there's, there's different groups of people that are like minded, but that goal, that mission statement starts with yourself. And just like you talked about, at some point, even when you find people that you relate to, once you start creating an identity around that community, now you have to manage that. Because what happens is like you said, someone comes in and you're like, I'm a part of this community. I'm a part of the kink community.
Someone comes in and they're doing something that you don't like or think is ethical or the right way to do it. And they're also saying, I'm a part of this community. So now what happens? You're now thinking outside at socially, how are people looking at me?
Because if this is a person that says they're a part of the kink community and I say I'm part of the kink community, everyone from the outside is going to think I'm like them. Right. So now your entire job has left your mission statement and you are now thinking about how to defend your image in this imaginary community, which now means, like just like you said, it was an eloquent. You get petty, drama, judgmental, self-righteousness.
You align yourself with other people. It's like fucking survivor. Like you just start ganging up on people and then you know, you have now distracted your entire mission statement to be a better person because you now have to defend how people look at you because this person has now entered your quote unquote community. Right.
And I think if we can just say I'm a part of a group of people and some of those people are good and some of those people are shitty and not make my identity the community, then I think that gives me the ability to stay in this large group of people and not have to accept the behaviors of everybody, but not have to leave all the other people that have positive benefits for me. Yeah. I think that the word you use that you align yourself with them, that you identify with them, that's important because yes, the minute you do that to any group and that group then does things that you don't agree with, you're left with the choice which I do defend them even though I don't agree with what they're doing or do I leave them and now I'm bereaved because my community is gone. And I know it sounds cynical.
I'm sorry if people hear that and think that because I don't think it's cynicism. I think it's wisdom born out of years of seeing this ridiculous drama play out over and over again in different areas of life. You have to be almost an island. You have to be very autonomous in your identity and not align so strongly and so completely with groups or people or friends because you lose part of yourself.
Yes. When you when you identify and align yourself so much with another group, you tend to lose the good part about you and the ability to make independent choices. And so I think communities are great, but I think that we should be a bunch of islands within that community. I like that.
I am a rock on and the rock feels no pain. Now that's not the never cries. Sorry for all the younger people that is an exceptional Simon and Garfunkel song. But it is kind of true that you can be an island among other islands.
So you can still be about your island, your mission statement because now I want to shift into like just a breakdown. Once again, I think being a part of a group of like minded people is a great thing because of the good things are some good things and there's some not good things. So let's talk about some of the good things and I think we touched a little bit on it. There's a sense of belonging to people that get us because when you especially in Kink and especially like the LGBT community, you know, obviously you feel kind of separated and you're alone and you're the only person.
So being a part of a group of people, a large group of people that have your same POV or orientation or whatever, that's a sense of belonging. That's wonderful. A sense of protection against outside groups or individuals that persecute our lifestyle in the Kink community. We have a lot of people that judge us.
People lose their jobs. We're kicked out of families. There's all sorts of hate and drama at us. We're sinners.
We're, you know, all of these things. So it's great to feel that you are a part of a large group of people that can help protect you against that kind of onslaught of abuse. The other thing that I love about a community is multiple opinions of how things can or should be done. More opinions gives me more ability to think for myself.
I get to, you know, if I'm not in a group of people, then I only have my point of view and my potential observations of life to help me change. The other thing that's great in a community accountability in theory for those who choose to selfishly harms others and accountability in theory for those who ignorantly harm others because we've talked about that a lot on the show. You know, there's people who are just selfish and they don't give a fucking they harm people, but then there's people like you or I have talked about these things where we ignorantly harm others. A community teaches us those things so we can then change those behaviors.
And I think those are good things. Are there any other things you'd like to add to that? No, no, you actually raised some good points. It's a, it's always good not to live in an echo chamber and to hear other opinions.
And but I think that's why probably one of the things that makes being in a community so tough is that you have to be open to that. And some of the things that some people say are very hard to take. Some of the things that people want to do or how changes that they want to make may not be so great. And being in an echo chamber and being around people who feel and think the same we do is it's hardwired into us.
It's an evolutionary trait. Apologies to anybody who's listening to things I'm using the wrong terms, but I'm fairly certain that that's true that it is an evolutionary trait to want to align yourself and have reflected back at you the same beliefs because that sense of again, community is it's a wonderful feeling and it is one of the things that has allowed us as human beings to survive for this long. So it's almost going against the grain to force yourself to be in a community in which you accept the dissenting opinions of others. Absolutely.
Absolutely agree with you. Oh, man. Great. This is actually this actually getting better than I thought it was.
I was going to ramp because it's true. I'm I'm so it like hurts. It hurts when I hear people so frustrated and they're willing to literally throw away years of amazing things because they feel that they have to defend their opinion of whatever integrity of a community they believe in. And like I'm completely I read tons of blogs.
I watch all these bloggers and try to get my head around all the fights in the LGBTQ, you know, I just call it extra. I never know the extra letters. But it's like now gays are fighting against gays, trans are fighting against trans, you know, because everyone's trying to say this is right. That's right.
You have to do this. This is right. And it's just like, I think we've just completely lost sight of our personal missions to be happy or better people. And we're so obsessed with doing it this way or that way that we're just cannibalizing ourselves and we're missing out on the potential for better growth and better quote unquote community.
Yeah. And it kind of it just makes me sad. I just like what if we just dismantled the whole idea of community? And just like you said, we're just a group of islands.
Oh, that's good. I like that, Kathy. I like that. Good job.
Good job. Good job. You boogie. No, good job.
You, Kathy. No, that's right. I want to rub your back. Can I just get a little circles?
That's where it goes. What? I mean, what if it's just a massage from behind? You know what?
You're no vlog rep at my community. It's not good. You had some kinksters paradise of your own. Yes.
I attended my Michelle's femdom kinky birthday party. Oh my girl had a birthday. She had a birthday. I just just and you know, she she does a good party.
She's been throwing parties for many, many years. So she's very good at it. But this time her submissive, I'm going to say submissive. It's boyfriend slash submissive.
Right. He threw the party for her and he went all. Oh, yeah. It was always been a good guy to her.
Yeah. Yeah. She's been with him a long time. And very true.
And it's a really great relationship. And he just had a bunch of pink mylar balloons and a cake in the shape of a corseted woman's bust. I mean, it was just amazing. It was very well done in a somewhat disreputable part of downtown Los Angeles.
Let me tell you my friend and I show up. We're like, run to the door and let's get inside as best as we can. Mase and tasers and steel toe boots with knives coming out of the tabs. You're like, let me tell you, I had my taser with me ready to go.
Safety was off. It was in my purse. I will zap some crack head balls. I have no fear.
The lady just shows the links that I will go to to get back into kinky events because as our listeners know you and I do not attend to that piece of shit. That whole fall threshold. And I'm not going to stop ready to you. You can if you want, but I have very, very little patience these days for people or organizations who fuck me over.
I am ready to just take a night to everybody. I have to control myself lately because the rage and anger is really starting to get a lot of control. But it is a piece of shit place that I will never go back to after years of service to be thrown out like that and barred is just unfucking believable. So we don't go there anymore.
And here I am complaining. When in Los Angeles, there are a lot of kinky places to go to. And going to my Michelle's kinky birthday party reminded me how much there is out there and why I need to stop fucking complaining. Just get out because I had a really good time.
I didn't play obviously because it was more of a couple's going together and it wasn't a full on party. Like you normally would attend, but I had a great time and it was fabulous being surrounded by kinky people. And I just had a wonderful time. That sounds good.
So you saw some kink. Well, you know, the person who was supposed to fist my Michelle unfortunately couldn't make it so she was disappointed. So a friend of mine and I we thought, hey, I mean, it's been a few years since I fisted a woman, but I'm gay. Let's give it a try.
And we were going to, but she was just surrounded by people. There was still a she still wanted to open presents and it was getting laid. So I said, rain check, Michelle, I will fist you another time. I'm like, wait a minute.
Dude, I would have grabbed those presents, knocked them the fuck off the table and said, this thing's fizzed first things first. We just get rid of the arm. And this is your birthday. Well, she got a rain check.
You wouldn't be willing to record that, would you? You're like, I'm not going to be fizzing. Yeah, I think she said she would get fisted on the show. I don't mind recording at all because, but I tell you, it's been a while as long as there would be a lot of editing you'd have to do boogie because I'd have to go very, very slow.
Kathy, I just want you to know. You're like, I'll edit anything. Okay. I will, I will put in the time for our listeners.
I will put in the time if you're going to fist my Michelle and record it. I, I love our listeners. I love property podcast listeners. Love them.
Give me the audio and let me work on it. I love how I'm already said we're going to do this. My Michelle knows nothing about it. She's probably going to hear about someone going, Hey, I heard of her.
I'm going to get fisted. She's going to be like, what? Well, she didn't know we did talk about this. I think we even talked about it on the show.
She's had a featured orgasm on the show as everybody. And so she, it's not something out of the, I mean, okay, I'll give you this. Maybe it's been a long time and she's going to want it to be a little more personal and whatever. We accept that sort of and that's okay.
But be God damned if I shouldn't have you throw down a phone and record that. I'll just put that mic right up to her pussy and go. Can you put a phone next to her pussy and then another phone next to her face? And then I once again, for the poverty podcast listeners will meld the two together to make one just started with a one, two, three, and then I can match up the audio for both recordings.
You sacrifice so much for the listeners. Fucking giver. A fucking giver that I am. Cause she comes great.
She when she lets go, she just fucking crazed woman. God, I miss King. But I'm in Texas now. I reached out.
I there is a group out here and I reached out and they got back to me and I'm going to a munch in a week. Nice. And so I'm going to hear that I'm going to be vetted and they have parties. And so I'm busting mine, but there's no my Michelle fishing going on yet.
Right. Sexy with a scalpel. Half girl got somebody hot. If you choose to fuck with her and might not be that.
Sludge. Past girl. Past girl. Rockin hot.
Past girl. Well, how did their past girl? How did they're a book? How you doing?
Well, God damn, we're down here with. Well, there's actually no cotton being grown. The the drought, it's not even cotton. See, there's grain.
So lame. It's like two feet tall. They can't even grow corn. At least the cotton was like, you know, when it blooms, it's like big.
But there's lots of I saw yesterday there was a dead pig on the side of the road and like 300. Oh, fuck those things, dude. They rip up everything out here. What's fucking feral hogs?
I swear to God. And what's worse about feral hogs is they don't actually make the greatest bacon. Yeah. So it's like a total waste.
Like they just destroy everything. And then you can't even get good bacon out of them. So what kind of shit is that buzzers? There's 300 buzzers.
This is this is what I'm talking about now. You wait, wait, as a funny side note, you want to hear a funny side? No, about wild hogs? Yes, I do.
OK, so my previous live in Polypartner when I caught him cheating, the woman he was cheating with her job was to go on. She was a feral hog catcher by the name hog girl. I'd shit you not. Yes, she would be the girl that would go on your property.
And if you had feral hogs, she would hunt them down and shoot them for your movement property. And that's what I got left for. You got left for hog trap. I've been watching all the hog trap in videos where they like put it.
Why are we talking about feral hog trapping? Well, because you done set a trap. Yes, you done said in man trap and you couch yourself a hog. And now you're riding that how.
Yes, I'm definitely running that hog and I'm absolutely. Well, God damn it. Get her done. How often do you find a hog that does good anal?
Not very often. Not often as long as he doesn't have one of them weird prehensile curly cute dicks. I mean, I thought you're jam. I'm not here to judge.
No, I'm just going to say. No, Donas is got a very nice dick and it's actually Pierce too. So that's fine. He has it.
Wait, wait, wait, we have a name for this person now. Yeah, he goes by he goes by Donas. So Donas is OK to say Donas is OK to say I have full permission. Yes.
So OK, I got to talk shit because that's what I do. Is that just short for Donas? You know, I think it's actually like a baseball reference. Like I think they were like Donas cards when you were growing up.
But yeah, I think yeah. Well, I mean, in a sense, I couldn't talk shit because if you call yourself a Donas, then it's like you're sucking your own dick. But if you're like, hey, I'm Donas. You know, maybe I'm not as hot as in a Donas, but I'm still pretty cool.
I think that's a more humble approach. OK, OK, I'm not going to talk as much shit. Unless he's giving you the fucking D and he'll allow us to make hog jokes about him. So you can't be that bad.
Yes. So any play. Have you guys started playing yet? I know you're still playing with Doc, but yeah, no, we haven't started playing yet because we were we had gone over to Doc and Cats House one night and he was supposed to get a little tutorial about like how to do some certain things.
And even though we had a Greek dinner, just like the vibe was in rights. We decided not to play that night. So but yeah, I mean, he's come with me. He actually went with me when last we talked, I was taking him to our local dungeon that night.
So you actually got to see me do a scene with Doc and he was, you know, he was kind of, I was a little awkward at first because he had never seen a BDSM scene done. Right. But afterwards I kind of check him in and like that was awesome. It was really great.
He's anxious to learn some more stuff. OK, so it didn't hit him funny because yeah, there's a Shirley, I mean, it would me, you know, so I can't I can't I can't diss anyone that that would be an awkward moment for seeing that. But that's real cool that he was OK with that and that he's eager to learn some stuff himself. That's great.
That's a great potential here. Yes, definitely, definitely. And he gives you a handle. Oh, yes.
Very good. Oh, look at that. Go Donnes. Two points for Donnes.
Ding, ding. Good job, hug. Good job. Give it another hug.
So if you're not Donnes and you're not a good trapped hog that gives the good anal and maybe you're a little awkward, a lot of parties are opening up now. Yeah. And that was what we're going to talk about in this episode. Yes.
We're going to talk about getting back into parties and getting over because I'm talking to a lot of people that are like, yeah, I'm going to go to a party. How I have to remember like all the basics. Yes, COVID has really screwed a lot of people's minds and they've gotten used to being homebound or building social interactions over email and Zoom calls and stuff. Now it's like people going out back in live person.
They're like, I have to talk with people. Holy crap, I don't want to do this again. And it's even worse if you weren't somebody that was very gregarious and good socially in the first place because then it's like, and even if this is now your first time going into this kind of environment, that's an exciting time. And we want to celebrate that and encourage that.
But also acknowledge that that could be a little overwhelming and has led to some really dumb mistakes that wind you up in your, whatever small community you're trying to get into kind of not having to work out for you. And we want to avoid that because there is definitely a road you can take socially that's going to have a better result than just coming in and asking people if you could finger their asshole. There's a little bit of a game to play and we're going to teach you some game today. So why don't you go ahead and start some of how you approach or the things that you appreciate that other people when they approach you and give you at these events.
This has actually been coming up a lot with me over the last year where there's been a lot of new people whether they're just realizing their kinky or sitting at home and covid and realizing life's too short. Let me go out and live my life and coming out and saying, okay, I'm kinky and I need to get out there. The number one thing I would say is when you look on FET Life under event and you finally get the courage up to the go say, okay, I'm going to go to this month or this slosh, reach out to your event organizer, let them know your new, say hi, I'm a little nervous about coming. You know, can you point me out to some people to talk to you or at least get familiar with that person and meet that person at the month or slosh or whatever event you're going to.
They can introduce you around, you know, they're the ones usually hosting the party and they can go, hi, this is Paff Girl, she's new, this is Boogie, this is Kathy, they can talk to you. Also, a lot of events have FET Life page or discussing groups to get to know people or even like after an event they'll have like a who you were at the party kind of thing. You can kind of skim through those pages and see who's been going around and kind of get to feel for the group of whether they're really boisterous group or whether they're a quiet group. You can even use that as a jumping off for an event like, wow, the lash seems to have a lot of people that was busy last time, huh?
It'd be a great jumping off point for conversation. Absolutely. Even in the city that I'm living in, which is Cotton Fields and Cows and things like that, about a half hour outside of Corpus, they actually have had some parties, you know, maybe it was like 20, you know, I don't know, 15, 20 people I didn't really see, but I saw quite a few people were signed up to it and it looked like a real good group of people. So I had just missed that when I came out here by a day and they said definitely we want to vet you before you come into the party, which we're going to talk pretty extensively about because understanding that nobody owes you a party is a really good approach when you come in.
People are coming into somebody else's thing that they have worked on, set up, built all their social relationships, and especially if they've gotten to the level where they're having parties and stuff, you are now wanting to enter their established domain. So you have to understand that you are coming in and have to have something to offer. It's not just a freeloader coming in and take thing. You know, that's what kind of like your little culture society is, is that there's an interaction and you can do this and I can do this and together, you know, it becomes bigger and more diverse and more fun, but you have to understand there's something in it for everyone and when you're coming in, it's understanding.
So I reached out to the leader. I found the leader of the event. She seemed like real cool. I read her profile, you know, see what things.
And of course she had some very stern ideas about not wanting to deal with a bunch of stupid dick pics and petty bullshit and which was fine because I'm not interested in being a douche. So I literally just emailed. I didn't say anything sexual. I just said, Hey, I'm new in this area.
I came from LA. I gave like very brief about myself that I've been in a lifestyle and I put on a lot of events and things like that. And what is the vetting process? Is there a munch I can go to and I would be super appreciative if she had any information for me.
So once again, didn't talk about sex, didn't say, Hey, am I going to get late? Cause I remember that shit at Threshold guys roll in, fresh off the street and they're like, I'm here to fucking fuck man. Like we just have people at the door ready to accommodate random douche bag, you know. So I came in respectfully and sure enough, two days later, she responded, Hey, you know, I checked your profile.
You seem real cool. That's great. Well, yeah, we have a munch and it's this will date and this date and we do want to meet people before we invite them to any of our parties. So you're welcome to come out and I look forward to meeting you.
And that's kind of your first step in now. Some parties are just set up and they're more established and it's like coming to the party, but it's still kind of the same approach where you come in with that philosophy. What do I have to offer this place? Right.
So before I go further in that, I just wanted to see if you wanted to jump in. Well, yeah, I mean, it's just like, have a little bit of humility when you're going to these places. I mean, like I said, don't just run in and jump off the bat and talk about, you know, see somebody that has an interesting t-shirt and go, Oh, cool. You watch Stranger Things.
You watch my now just try to make a connection first and then as you're talking to somebody, then you can kind of squeak into the, Oh, so how do you want to fire your top or bottom of things like that? You don't have to just jump into the cake right away. Absolutely. I mean, and that goes into conversations and I'm going to focus on the awkward people because I'm very awkward.
I took, I had to take a lot of years to learn how to be this. I'm gregarious on this show and I can talk and be animated and say stupid things and whatever, but socially I still have a lot of anxiety. I have a lot of fears. I have left many an events that I was unfamiliar or felt overwhelmed.
I have left a lot of things very early in the evening because I'm like, I just don't fit here. I don't feel bad. And fucking laugh. Threshold was a little different for me because I lived in the facility.
I rented a room and so when I got overwhelmed, I had the freedom to kind of just go to my place and whatever. But if you don't have that, if you do have awkward feelings, it is like you said, you have to learn how to kind of talk to people and one of the best things and we haven't talked this about this on the show in a while, one of the best things which I do almost at every new place I go into. There are certain things if you are not good, if you don't have the gift of gab and you don't fluidly just interview people and sweep them all up your feet and have them love you. There are ways to get in socially without having those skills and that is volunteerism.
That is almost every event you're going to go to has people that have to set up, tear down, clean, fill out name tags, get party supplies. There are a lot of things that you can do that don't require you to really talk right away and it gives you the ability to kind of get the lay of the land and get your feet comfortable even just being helpful. And people do notice that. I have met play partners, I have met people that over time of Kathy is a perfect fucking example.
Kathy, the co-host of perverted podcast, I met Kathy volunteering next to her side by side and as we got to know each other while we were doing whatever event or thing like that, we talked more and more like, oh, what are you doing here? Because you know, stacking chairs and rolling fucking slices of ham and shit is kind of mindless and if you're doing it with a group of people, you're just going to start going, oh, well what brought you here? Because you're all kind of on the same playing field. You're being of service together and that kind of is very disarming because obviously if you're rolling ham or setting up fucking chairs, you're not acting like you own the place.
So people, it kind of gives them more of a comfortable feeling with you that they can talk and that's a great way to start getting in. And I've had places where I've just kind of helped out, you know, probably for surely a threshold, probably a month or two and then people started kind of feeling very comfortable and of course they were appreciative of that so they want you to stay and keep setting up chairs and shit so they start asking you questions. Yeah, I mean, it's even if you're not going to jump into the volunteer group, you can just make the mindset of I'm going to talk to one person and that's a very easy goal to set and achieve where it's just like you walk in, you take that deep breath and hey, I'm Pafgril, oh, you're a boogie, nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah. And then after our conversation ends, it'll be like, you know what, I came, I talked to one person, there's my accomplishment.
Now next event, I could talk to two people or maybe I feel comfortable enough that I've met enough people that I want to jump into volunteering or I want to jump into other things where I'm going to get to know more people. So you're saying set like a small goal for yourself? Yes, yes. Talking to one person at a kinky event is a very easy goal.
Even if it's the person at the front door where it's like, hi, my name's Pafgril, here's my vaccine card and you know what, you talk to one person and then wow, that was easy. Okay, maybe I could talk to another person, you know, don't set a goal of like, I'm going to talk to everybody and then it's like, well, I didn't talk to everybody in the room, so I must be a failure kind of thing, you know. Right. Something else that's really important to understand when you go into this situation is other people have their social awkwardness too.
And some people aren't there to talk to people. Nobody owes me a conversation when I go in. And that's really important for somebody, especially if you're awkward and you don't have a lot of good social cues, sometimes you're like, well, I got to talk to someone and then you just go and I've seen it, you know, and you see one person that's just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then one person literally looking like they want to crawl out of their own skin and fucking die and they're looking for a savior to come up and be like, hey, I need you over it, which I've done multiple times. Again, my attention experience.
I don't know if they've done it to me, but maybe they have. But it's also, it's just understanding that keep those conversations brief and then look for those signs if they're engaging back. Don't just talk about yourself. Yes.
Ask questions. And there's, you can go online and find hundreds of icebreaker questions. Hey, do you like anime? You know, if you're into anime, you know, are you a Star Wars or Star Trek?
And then if they say, I don't fucking like either. I hate both of those. They're all, okay, do you like cats? And if you get really short responses from people, they don't want to fucking talk to you.
Yeah. If they're like, nah, nah, I don't know, sort of, that means get the fuck away from me. I'm not interested in talking to anybody and nobody owes you that conversation. Yeah, actually me, something that's really helped for me ever since I started going out back out into the, into the, uh, the lifestyle like before years ago.
I have a bunch of tea turtle t-shirts. They're all geeky and goth-y kind of things and some of them are like Star Trek or like cats and things like that. At least once or twice an event, somebody comes up and goes, oh, that's a really cool t-shirt. And I'm like, oh, great.
Thanks. Hey, I'm half girl, by the way. Nice to meet you. Right.
It's just where, where's something that may draw a little bit of attention to that you feel comfortable in like a baseball jersey or, you know, a metal band shirt or something that's going to be like, oh cool. You're wearing an iron made shirt. What do you think of the last album? Ta-da.
There's an interesting conversation starter. The first thing is my, uh, t-shirt that has a big kitten face on it and over the top, it says hug dealer. Yes. Yes.
And then I stand there and I look kind of fat and creepy and I just look at people like, you're probably not a best shirt to wear at a first. Well, there are some people that wear hug dealer shirts and they may walk up and say, hi, can I consensually hug you? If you say the word consensually hug me, I have the right to say yes or no. So look, I'm going to say, look, I know you're trying to be flexible.
Yeah. Don't wear a fucking hug dealer t-shirt. If you're someone like me, if you're a creepy looking guy, don't walk in and start trying to make physical contact with people. Don't touch people is another very important thing because a lot of people don't, they're like, oh, I come from a culture where everyone touches each other.
I don't give a fuck. I don't want people touching me. Yes. I don't care.
Man or woman, I have women come up and they start like, oh, hi, you know, and they're rubbing your shoulder and chin. It's like fucking, I don't like that. Ask me to touch me. And that is a great way.
Also, don't smell when you go to this. Wash yourself, brush your teeth, do your laundry and do not bathe in fucking perfume or cologne because you will chase everyone out of the room. It is literally one of my biggest peeves in the world and people hate it and they talk and it's just like, because people do that. They're like, oh, and it's okay.
You came from work, we understand maybe you're a little sweaty, you're nervous about that. Cologne does not take away body odor. And now you just smell like a fucking perfumey armpit. Wear light cologne because I've seen literally rooms clear out because guys, whatever fucking and women do it too.
That literally just bathe, I could do a whole show on how horrible it is. The idea is that you want people in your immediate space to go, what's that smell? Oh, and maybe that draws them closer. If you can be smelled 50 feet away, nobody needs to get close to you.
So that's something that always, sorry, that's all another peeve. I just wanted to get into it. I'm going to try. I'm even going back to what you said about people touching your stuff like that.
The event organizers are there to provide a nice, happy, safe environment. So if you're getting a creepy vibe from somebody or somebody sitting on, oh, can I give you a hug and you see them going around, you may want to pop up into the event organizers and go, hey, could you talk to this person about consent and personal space and all that stuff? We've had it a couple of times where, unfortunately, one of our sloshes, there was a guy that was following women out to their cars. And it's like, dude, that's a no go.
No, no, no, no, no. And once again, socially awkward, it doesn't mean you're necessarily a bad person. It doesn't mean you don't have good intentions. It just means you have to be aware of the fact that other people don't owe you physical contact.
They don't owe you attention. I feel when I go into a place that it is my job to earn my place. I've always felt that you can call that positive or negative, but everywhere I go, I ask, what am I bringing to this event? Am I bringing a good attitude?
Am I being a volunteer? Am I being helpful? Am I being, you know, myself welcoming to people who are new? Because when you talk, you're like, never assume that people are new or old, even if they're young, that's another note that I have written now.
So when you meet somebody, even if they're 22 years old, they could be in the lifestyle four years longer than you. So never assume, but if you talk to people and they're like, yeah, I'm kind of new, you know, that's an opportunity to find a bond with that person, to encourage that person, to ask them, have you been on FET life? What groups are you on FET life? There are so many positive, simple things that you can say when you go to an event that can really add to where people who are in leadership or the people that are regulars at the party will go, hey, this is a good person that we want to be around.
And I'm not saying that you can't fuck someone's brains out on the fucking main room floor the first night. That does sometimes happen, depending on, especially depending on the type of party and the format of the party. I've had instances where I've walked into a party and been fingering someone and fucking doing shit within an hour. It can happen.
But the majority of the time, your best bet is to let people get to know you a little bit and allow those things to kind of build. If you play a little bit that night, that's wonderful. But your main thing is to establish your value to that new group, to let them know that you are going to be a positive contributing member of that group. God bless you and everybody!
Have a good day from the donnas. Kathy, we have a topic that is actually kind of a little awkward to discuss. I didn't know how to approach this topic. But we're going to approach it because I think it's so important and it's about an individual who has been literally a major part of perverted podcast folklore for a very long time.
And that of course is our glorious show sponsor, Headley, who we love and and adore. Many of you know him as the T serving mad hatter that, uh, oh God, I just, I love it in and there's a little Victorian pattern and I fucking love Headley so much. Um, and Kathy Headley has been our show sponsor for a long time, which means that he has financially supported us. Obviously we have patron subscribers and people that, you know, put in their five bucks a month if they give a fucking and take care of the show, but Headley has actually gone way above and beyond that for a very long time and given us a significant amount of money each show, uh, and has been the sponsor of perverted podcast, I think for almost two years total.
Uh, yeah. And amazingly generous thing. It has paid a lot of bills that I just wouldn't have been able to pay and, uh, and it's been wonderful. He's never, and we call him a sponsor because I feel guilt taking people's money.
Um, he's never actually sold, usually sponsors sell something or, you know, have some sort of thing. He's just like, I just love the show and believe what you guys do, believe in what you guys do and I just want to support you. And so I'm like the new other show sponsor and, and thus the sponsor of Headley has been born. Now we are at a point, I actually, Kathy haven't spoken with Headley in a while.
We have, he is, he kind of, I made some changes in his life or something happen. I don't think he's dead. I hope he's not dead. Um, he's still technically on the patron page.
So I think he's still active, but we actually haven't had communication with Headley in a couple months. And so I just keep having him be the sponsor because I'm like, dude, you, you paid so much. You're, you're just like, you know, sponsor, honorarium, you know, for life, but it is at the point I've sent a number of emails and asking if he's okay and stuff like that. And so I surely do.
We really do love this guy. He's, he's been an amazing person and he's fun and amazing on the show, but I think we are at the time where, um, we do need that support. And so I want to open this up to other people to sponsor perverted podcast. And, and so I didn't know how to do that.
So I figured we would just talk about it. Yes. You're right. It is awkward because we don't know what happened to him.
And while we certainly hope that everything is okay, life, life gets in the way that life does. And, and you know, we, he has been a huge part of the show and nobody wants to think that that something terrible has happened, but maybe he's just gone on to do other things. The bottom line is that we have appreciated him that he will always have a home here, whether he sponsors us or not. He's not the point.
And we just wish him the best. And we, we sincerely, if I were not an atheist, I'd say my prayers are with him. I hope that he's okay. But my thoughts are with him.
And I hope if anybody out there does know him, we would just like to know that he's okay. And if he needs any help because he's always been there for us. So that being said, I think we should just call him our show sponsor Emeritus. He will, in my heart always be the show sponsor, whether he gives money or not.
So that's great. But yes, you're absolutely right. I, unlike you, have absolutely no problem selling asking people, it's important to say if you want to support the show because it brings value into your life, I have no problem with that whatsoever. This is a, everybody is independent and does their own thing.
And if you feel that you want to dig into your wallet and give us $5 a month, it helps us tremendously. And we always appreciate it. We love our Patreon supporters. And we give them, even though this, maybe you can't really be considered such a great thing, we do give them a no show.
We do record a show specifically for them in which you and I just ramble on about anything. And if we could do more, we really could. We really would. But I don't, you know, at this point, we're not, we're not, we're back as an other place where we can give our listeners much more than that.
So, believe me, if we could, we absolutely would. Absolutely. So I think at the end of the show, I'm like, well, what do we do? How do we, how do we have a head, Lisa?
So, you know, obviously, head, Lisa's sponsor of this show. And what is the word you just used? Sponsored emeritus? Yeah.
What does that even mean? That means like ongoing forever. It means that you retain the title even though you're no longer doing that job. Oh, he would probably know that word.
He would say, oh, Catherine, that is a wonderful word. Let me give you some tea. Oh, I'm just going to play a bunch of head, lead jingles at the end of the show like a fireworks finale of head, liaisms. So I did, but I did want to address it.
And I wanted to say, I believe, I'm sorry if this is rambly to some people. This guy really loved our show and has really, really been there for us for a very long time. And you're all there for us and you listen. And whether you give money or don't give money, you know, this is our mission.
This is what we do to hopefully create something good in the world. And Headley has been a very big part of that. And we love you, Headley. And thank you so much for all of your support.