I don't know what I'm impersonating your vagina. Wow, it does sound like that. It does when you're getting a big old pack of D. I think only does that when there's a face down there doing that noise.
Well, when is the last time there was said face going on Kathy's Mount now? I think it probably was 2009. They're fucking Christ. I know.
You make good money now. Buy it. Just that is not cool, bro. I know I really need to do something.
I can't believe I didn't really realize it until I just heard it come out of my mouth. Oh my God. I thought I was doing bad. Well, I was with fucked art all those years.
I mean, you know. Fuck that motherfucker. God, I hated him the whole time anyway. And only now do you see.
Now you're like, I get to vent what I've been wanting to say for years. Fucking rest in ice cream sandwich on your ass motherfucker. Yeah, it's trash X's. No, Kathy, really, really, you really, really should just say, just if you got a dude, you know, spend spend a hundred bucks, get your fucking mow lick.
That's too long. Do you want to let me just tell you something that I absolutely would consider going down that path. If I weren't so absolutely terrified of STDs. Sure.
That would be the only thing holding me back, boogie. That is a very, very, very valid concern. Not to not talking that, but I will say that some sex workers now go with me on this. Go with me on the before we start the show.
Some sex workers and of course, surely some people that work in the porn film industry are actually safer than people that you would just randomly meet at a club or a munch or, you know, even some of the normal sources because their testing is so much more regular. Yeah, I'm not going with you on that. That's crazy. No, no, no, I feel that you're trying to be nice to me, but that makes absolutely no sense.
No, they have more partners. But what I'm going to say is, you know, you have more partners, but because you test more frequently, you know, when your negative tests come back and the gates your past partners, if you don't have current STIs. I'm still going to go more with yours and mine idea of the low lighting swingers party. Right.
That makes more sense to me. Kathy, yeah, as long as I can hear you say, boogie, I'm ready by guess. Let's go. I got.
And it was great. And you're just happy. I think that's what we all want to hear. Kathy, I don't really care how I go.
I mean, fuck it, Kathy. Hang outside a women's prison and break in on the weekend. Do what you got to do. Do what you got to do, babe, because I love you.
The following show is for mature audiences only. Listen or discretion is advised. And because you are responsible for yourself, there won't be another fucking warning. One, two, three, four.
Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange? Come and join the Kinky world of play. Pervid and I can.
Yay! Hello and welcome to Pervid and Podcasts, a show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle, sex, and the human mind. Ah, recording again tonight. Yet again, Boogie and I get on the computers and record.
And on a side note, if anybody is listening and wants to go down on me, you know, just drop me a line because I'm more open now than I've ever been in my entire life. And willing to do all kinds of stuff that I probably would not have done before, but Kathy, would you get on a plane? I would get on a plane, okay. You know what?
Okay. Because the rubber meets the road now. We're getting to the point of because I'm almost in that level of desperation. I'm pretty, pretty damn close.
I mean, I am currently living in my sexless marriage. That is what I, that's what I'm doing here at this place. I have a wife that has needs and medical needs. I have a, I have a kid and there's a fucking puppy here that last night.
So fun. So this is exactly what I dreamed about when I was a young man, just walking into that kitchen to get a bowl of something and just the feeling of my barefoot stepping square in the center of a cold pile of puppy piss. There is nothing like that. I was like, this is great.
This is what I dreamed of. You know, I got to tell you something. I really can't blame the puppy. I got to say this one is on you.
You're living in a house with a puppy. You do not walk barefoot in the middle of the night anywhere without turning all the lights on and looking at the floor first. Yeah. Okay.
Great. Kathy. Thank you. Thank you.
Mom. All right. All right. Fuck the dog.
And at the end of the show, I'm actually going to play because people know how much I fucking hate dogs in general. I don't necessarily hate them. I just hate domestic dogs. I just hate domestic animals and I hate the owners of domestic animals.
So I may not like to shoot fucking dog. It's a fucking labradoodle. It's like a $4,000 dog. It's cute, but I hate it.
I don't believe you for a second. So as it challenged to myself, I started writing a song like a sweet song about dogs like 20 years ago and I never even came close to finishing it. And now there's all these TikTok videos about dogs and everyone puts it out. You watch 90% of them every day of your life.
So I said, Hey, what if I write a song for people to put in the background of their sweeter dog videos? And so at the end of the show, you're going to hear me write something completely. Now you heard this song. Oh, I did.
I did. And what did you, what did you think of? Was it like me? I think that you access the part of you that likes dogs, which is why I don't believe that you hate dogs.
I'm not part of you that hates certain aspect, but there's another part of you that you don't want to talk about, that you don't let anybody hear about that came out in a song that really loves puppies. And I'm sorry. Okay, I'll give you half of that. I do have nightmares still to this day because I never got to really say goodbye to my childhood dog.
Okay, here it comes. Because I was busy being a Christian and so it wasn't neglected. It lived with my parents. But when it got really old and started getting sick, I was like, ah, fuck it cares, you know, because I love fucking Jesus.
And so I was never really there as the dog really got it was nice to it and pet it when, you know, when I went over and whatever, but literally that dog slept with me for, you know, like nine years on my bed every night. That was, you know, my little, but I hate them. Fuck them. Fuck every fucking dogs.
You're not fooling anybody, boogie. Whatever. Hello to all our PPs, Ambs and zombies. And zits.
Just tansits. By the way, if you've listened to 50 episodes of perverted podcast, which I'm sure by now you're turning us off. If you've listened to 50 shows or more, you are a PPs zombie. If you have listened to every one of the now 360 episodes, you are a zombie apocalypse master.
And we have many of them, many, many, many of them. So shout out to all our PPs, Ambs, our zombies and our zits. If you've listened to under 20 episodes of perverted podcast, you are a zit, which is a zombie in training. Which, hey, by the way, on that note, let me just say that my sister has started listening to the show more often.
She actually asked if she can listen to us record live because she couldn't wait for the next episode. And I thought, well, that would be our first live audience since we had to leave a love lab, but I couldn't find a way to make it happen because, you know, I have to put in my earbuds on my computer and I couldn't find a way for her to listen. Well, not be cool. We would have one listener listening live.
Having a live show would be pretty amazing. But that's some technicalities. I can explain to you off air that has a way to make it kind of happen. And it would require like a headphone amp with another input.
I think we have them live in the stage. You're geeking out on the technology. No, not like you. But the important thing is, Kathy, we started the show strong with your vagina and you breaking into women's prisons on weekends to get your vagalic, which is very fun and sexy.
And then we started talking about freaking dogs. And then now I'm all weird. And so... No, listen, my vag is getting saggy as we speak.
So I can't wait much longer on this because at some point someone is going to take one look at my badge and go, yeah, I'm out. At some point, your vag is going to become dangerous. There's going to be a suffocation kind of like my balls. Like literally I would have to be very careful who went down on me now because you could choke the death or literally like a jellyfish just spit over your face and you have nowhere to breathe.
You know, why are... You know, this is the worst fucking luck in the world. Why are you and I so physically repelled by one another? We would make the absolute perfect fuck buddies if we actually were attracted to one guy.
Kathy, I'm going to stop you right now. And I'm going to say I have never in my life heard you so desperate to get laid. That... Right now I am literally reaching down towards where my nuts are and I'm picking my jaw up.
And along with every fucking long-term perverted podcast listener right now that you would even mildly insinuate the benefit of us being fuck buddies. But in another universe where it actually would work, not in this one because in this one, you and I seem to have the worst fucking luck in the world. Like we can pull it up with each other and be buddies and hang out and we've been through all kinds of ups and downs. We're like, you mentioned, we're like a sexless couple now.
And it would be absolutely perfect during this dry spell that we're both having. But no, life couldn't work out that well. No, life had to fuck us again. Well Kathy, I mean, you know, let's...
I'll poke the bear. No. Oh, you were just... You're all fucking talking with you.
I said if we were attracted to one another which we are not. What does that matter? I can still give you the bro finger. No bro finger man.
Oh God. When B.B listeners won't send questions. Kathy's bottle feels attention. She must go to Reddit.
And Kinky Post and fuck up problems. Now B.B gets our shit out of Reddit. Oh no, wait, we tried to solve them. Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit, Reddit.
You know, it actually took me a lot longer than I want to confess to figure out what the hell Reddit meant. I still don't know what it means. You know, like I read it. Yep, I read it.
Really? Yeah. That is so... I'm an idiot.
I'm an idiot. I'm an obvious. I know. I'm so stupid.
I'm like, there's no mystery to that at all. It's just a clever whimsical moniker. Just like I read it. I'm gonna post it and you'll read it.
And then I read it. Oh, wow. Somehow I feel bad. I feel horrible.
Okay. All right. So I had to troll Reddit. I always say that like it's a chore.
I actually really like Reddit. I mean, it's got some amazing stuff in there because nobody's really trying to pin themselves out. They're just talking about their lives, which is perfect fodder for you and I book you because we'll take advantage of that and use it on the show. Damn straight.
Good stuff. All right. So I ran across the post and which a guy was talking about meeting a quote double life end quote. And he was kind of saying, you know that actually the term double life has a negative connotations to it.
He was saying it can sound very deceptive. Like you're hiding somewhat something like you're being sketchy or you have like the shady persona like a, I don't know, a communist spy and I'm leading a double life or something like that. Or you're cheating on someone or you know something horrible. But he said, you know that he said, he mentions it as a kinkster that he can't something we all know about.
We can't always be open with our kinky side to everybody in our life and that in fact, there are very few people in our lives who know what could be termed our deepest and darkest sexual interests. And again, this is nothing new to people who are into kink and have been in the community for any length of time. And he's talking about where do you draw the line? That was his question.
When is a double life bad thing and when is it a justifiable thing? Wow. Yep. This is I we've had this conversation a number of times over the years of doing the show of 360 episodes now.
I have never Kathy been able to have the point of view that I'm going to be able to have today about this. All right. You don't like me. I have left family members.
I have walked away from friends, lovers, jobs, schools, anything where I don't feel that I can work on being my authentic self to be boogie. It has been something that has been one of my biggest things that I have worked so hard, good or bad, crazy or not, to develop me and that out of all the people and all the shit that I've gotten for being me, I have been. That's the one thing I hold on to. That's my one pride is that I get to be myself.
Until this trip to Texas. And now I have a job where I can't be boogie. I have to be a total other character. I at the job, even though the even the character on the air is fictional and voice over, so that's kind of fun, whatever.
Okay. But when I come out of the control room and when I start interacting with the businesses and the people and the people that work at the station and everyone at the events and people that I meet, I have to be a completely different person. In the city that I live in, it's a very small town. It's very not Los Angeles.
And I do not get to be myself in the city. I am not. I didn't get shot. To most of the people that I'm around at the house, they don't know anything about me.
Leo knows. The kid knows very age appropriate. She just knows that I do other things and that they're none of her goddamn business. That's really what we leave it.
We leave that at. But so I am actually really struggling right now because I have worked so hard to be authentic and I wrote a letter to our patron subscribers today because I do that from time to time. And I let them know that I have never been able to relate to this like this. And so you go ahead and go and take take your thing, but this is definitely a different segment for me.
Yeah, I've always found it very difficult to understand this part of you. I mean, I understand it. Obviously I just don't. I can't empathize with you because and I'm going to I'm going to just preface this right now until I'm going to end up coming off like a douche bag because this kind of sounded mean when I'm going to say.
Don't worry. We'll be fuck buddies one day and make up for it. We will not. All right.
I'm not authentic self. I'm sorry, but it ain't that great. It's funny because it's true, but because none of our authentic selves are that great. Nobody wants to fly their flag.
They're they're authentic flag 24 seven because nobody wants to fucking hear it. And it's not because you're a bad person. There's not because there's anything wrong with you unless there actually is something wrong with people out there. I mean, there's some people that you don't want to fly that flag no matter what, like they've got some mental problems or instabilities or disorders.
But my point is you got to keep a lot of shit to yourself because a lot of people just don't want to hear it. I am a huge advocate of that. It is a tough lesson that I have learned over decades that there is a lot you need to keep to yourself in order to maintain different levels of friendship and intimacy. I don't want to know everything about your sex life and by you, I mean anybody out there anymore than I want to know everything about your bowel movements.
There are certain things are off limits and those things can be off limits to some people and not off limits to others or I definitely want to hear about some people's sex life. I don't necessarily want to hear about other people's sex life. I get to draw the line on what that is. So I just don't ever think that it has been a realistic endeavor to be your authentic self all the time and I'm perfectly happy with that.
But yeah, go ahead. No, I absolutely understand where you're coming from. And of course, I don't give intimate details of myself to other people, just throw it out there. I don't walk up to people and be like, so sometimes I like to stick a boiled octopus inside of someone's vagina.
How you do it? That's not what I'm really talking about. But when I have to, it's just I don't even get to be boogie. I don't even get to be the name that I worked in whatever.
So I understand what you're saying. And yes, age appropriate conversations, obviously, family appropriate conversations. But even then, like everyone, my dad knows exactly who I am. We don't talk in detail about it because he has no desire to hear any of that.
But it is for me, it is a big challenge. But when it comes into this post now, when it's like, when is a double life responsible? And when does it start to hurt you? And that's what I feel real strongly about because at some point, and I remember you went through this, I remember a lot of our partners go through this with their families where they're really close with their families, which you or I maybe don't relate as much on all levels.
But they're really close with their family and they feel they can't tell their families that they're poly or that they have this alternative lifestyle or that it's something that's really passionate or even if they get in a DS or an MS relationship, those things have to be hidden and maybe obviously with your job, you can't tell that to your job because they'll fire you and all of those things where I hate it when I feel like it makes me feel like I'm being judged because I can't, I don't have to give you details, but I'm a kinky person and a sex positive educator. And if you're going to fire me for that, then go fuck yourself. Yeah. And that's a tough line.
Everyone is going to walk in life. I would say that, I don't know if I had to put a number on it, that 70% of my life I can spend because of my circumstances, not being too concerned that I have to hide that much. And I'd be very fortunate and I'm not talking about why I get to tell all people at work that I do a kinky podcast. Nobody knows that.
But I don't have to, let's say, curb my speech or be careful too much what I say. I go to work and I have to be professional, but I don't have to hide 90% of who I am. Because I'm fucking unlucky. I landed in a job, in a city with friends, with coworkers and with family who accept a lot of who I am.
And then I have my kinky side too. I would be singing a completely different tune if that weren't true. If I had a hugely religious family and was living in a very conservative town and I had to hide everything from the makeup I wanted to wear to the clothes I wanted to wear to the music I wanted to listen to, that would be a bridge too far. That would be, that's not even a double life.
You'd have to come up with a different term for that because that would be something I couldn't take. But so I think everybody has to decipher themselves where that line is, because having to leave that double life or hide a huge part of who you are, you're absolutely right can harm you to a point where you start to possibly exhibit some dangerous behavior. Sure. Absolutely that manifests into negative behaviors.
And we've talked about that before. I mean, that's an entire whole topic, but just also understanding, and this is the thing I can't really. Like what I said to the patrons this morning in the letter was I'm just getting a taste of this because ultimately I'm going to leave. If it doesn't work out at the station, which right now it's kind of an uphill battle and it's, you know, it has some good things and some bad things and I'm not going to get into that.
But I still have the ability because they pay me so fucking little, you know, it's not a big deal if I leave and it's not a big deal if I leave, you know, where I'm staying. You know, I can make that choice. But people who are trapped in serious relationships with children and big bills, mortgages, you know, things, close relationships with families that may not accept, you know, all of who they are, those are real things that have real consequences to walk away from. And most people, you just can't walk away from that.
So how do you survive and at least feel like you're, you get to have at least an island? Like there's a little piece and that's where I just am so grateful that we have this show. Even though we're not having a lot of play time right now, we're, you know, we're making jokes about it, but it is really hard. But every day I get to think about this show and the people that are like me, the people that this is my safe island that I have some support.
And that's what's so good about online support groups and different groups and social medias that are kink based or in that genre where you can really feel at least I have a couple people that I can talk to and not have to worry about being judged or losing my job or having everyone in the town know my business, especially if it's in a small town, which a lot of people, most people in the world live in small towns. So it's, it's really getting that support group around you. So it just doesn't bottle up and bottle up and bottle up until it manifests into a negative behavior or a severe depression or anxiety or, you know, negative ways to deal with those things. I think it's really important to find that support.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I always feel for people who have that choice to make because if it is tipping over into a part, into a doing actual harm to you, if so much of yourself you're starting to hide because you fear for your safety, you've got a tough fucking choice to make. It is not something I am not envious of that. I feel so, so empathetic for people who, who have to go through something like that.
I have gone through it in different areas of my life, but never to that extent. But I can't even imagine what someone like that has to go through. It has to make that sort of decision. Do I leave?
Do I say how much of my loved ones do I say goodbye to because I cannot take any more of this psychological harm to myself? Yeah. And when you start adding in other commitments like children or whatever and knowing that there's an ex, like, especially if you're sharing custody of a child and you have a crazy ex that's just looking for a way to fuck you in court with your kids, which we've heard plenty of times in this lifestyle where people have gone to court and go, oh, they're one of these freaky kinky people. We still haven't gotten to that level in our society in most cities where the judges are liberal enough to go, oh, well, that shouldn't have an effect on how you raise your child.
Most places are still going to have that be a negative against you and to be, you know, there's nothing you can do at that point because you can't abandon your kids unless you're a piece of shit, you know, you have to get your support in another way. You're going to have to find that. Unfortunately, that does come down to having that double life. Yeah.
And it's a sad thing. But if you can't let go of it, you're kind of going to have to do it and you have to do it in a way that's safest for you, safest for the people that you're playing with. And you know, that's the best you can do. Absolutely.
The great post. Oh, God, I just want to be boogie. I get to be boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie, boogie. My name, I boogie.
I'm a perfect. Oh, my God. I have put leaf blowers against vaginas. You have put octopi in vagina.
We had a lot of fun speculums and we shot a nerfed art in a butthole. Yeah, you did. On the show. We did a lot of fun stuff on the show.
Now I'm going to get sad. I'm just going to get sad. And our listeners are going to get sad. Yeah, remember those days when we actually did demos and had fun people were crawling under the table and sucking my dick and get a hold of yourself, man.
Get a hold of yourself. I'm in a sexless marriage. I don't even marry. But it's free rent.
What are you going to do? What are you going to fucking do? It's coming. We're definitely working on it and we're horny and we just vicariously lived through the good sex of our listeners.
That's true. Hey, more than moderately used, middle Asian, not so preedy horse jumping back into the dating game. Kathy and plugged it in looking for the D&Ds. Kathy and good game.
You can't handle the truth. Could you take a bath? Or have a laugh with path girl? Ask girl.
Could you cut her in half or drink or light tree sap? Yeah. Path girl. Good first draft.
Well, I think it's like 20 seconds before it is time to lock in. and I'm like, guys, you're ready, sign. So, you have to go up until cutting me in half. Well, drink you like tree sap?
No? That could be taken several ways. If you cut me in half, then try to drink me and then we're talking to the satanic rituals. Don't hate.
Hey, satanic panics all the rage now because of stranger things, no sense. Well, look at that. Look at that. Master up puppets goes number one.
How you doing, path girl? I am doing awesome. How are you doing out in Texas? I'm feeling the magic.
Just spurs are growing out of my ankles. That's just part. You didn't know that, did you? In Texas, spurs aren't attached to boots.
They actually grow out of people's ankles. You have a horse ride a boogie? Jesus fucking Christ. Oh my God.
If I could get someone, she's someone. Just rope that little piggy and rope that. So, have you been having any piggy rope lately? I've been doing pretty good.
I went to a play party a couple weeks ago. Shout out to Bewald and Fett for all she's doing for our community. But I went over there with Donas and our usual kinky tribe and did a nice scene with Doc with some dragon tails and some ruger foggers and finished off with a whip. I'm actually becoming quite a whip whore actually.
That is not surprising. Yes. That is not surprising. I actually had a munch today too, which I kind of like been running around today just to kind of kick out something other stuff to do.
So I kind of went in and, hey everybody, how you doing? Okay, bye. But you said you weren't going to tonight's party because you've been to too many parties this month. Bewald who's been running our local fundraisers lately, she had a kind of blow out of like three different events in a month because the venue that she's renting is a wedding venue and they're getting ready for wedding season.
She's like, I can't have this venue for three for months. So I'm going to do like three parties in a month. And then like, she's still trying to find another place for us. But so that way we can kind of get their kink fix.
And then you don't kind of recover. I don't know what's more annoying. The fact that you've been to so many events recently that you're skipping events or the fact that there's actually something called a fucking wedding season. What the hell is wrong with this planet?
We'll just get married in wedding season. The majority people get married between August and October. So. And when when's divorce season?
That's just year round. It's pretty much. I actually started my paperwork for my divorce. The separation started on Friday the 13th.
And I'm like, that's very appropriate. Very good, very good, very good. Do you know what month it was? Was it in the right season?
It was December. No, it was any season. Yay divorce. Well, god damn it, path girl.
We're going to actually be all nerdy and slightly technical. I mean, we're not going to. But at least the thing we're talking about is an actual paper, a journal. And you're going to go ahead.
You sent me this? I read the 19 pages of journal. It was seven. OK.
It felt like 19 because it's not like some fricking times magazine hot blood article about increase your penis size with your partner. This was actually came from a. Well, I worked with it. This was the journal for positive sexuality, which was co-created by Emily, who created the Center for Positive Sexuality.
And I used to do panels with them back in Los Angeles. Oh, cool. So and then they started a journal like a legit medical journal. But it's all geared towards positive sexuality.
So they're all sex-based studies and research and stuff. And it's really cool, really cool. So you found it. So I'm like, I know those people.
Little name drop in there, by the way. A little name drop in. So why don't you go ahead and talk about what you read? So I actually stumbled across this on a Reddit thread of all places.
But yeah, it's from a journal of positive sexuality. And it's entitled Black and Blues, Sub-Drop, Top Drop, Event Drop, and Scene Drop. So the article kind of goes on to they wanted to kind of find out what are the real reasons behind drop. How can you also kind of distinguish it from depression?
So for them, they kind of termed it as said having Sub-Drop, Top Drop, Scene Drop. They put everything into it. They're calling X Drop. They're just basically any type of drop that happens after a kink activity.
So and they're also looking into two different ways where they're trying to shed light on the phenomenon of what happens with Drop, why it happens, and then also kind of normalize it and de-epophologize it and even kind of maybe transform the way people think about it. So what they went on in the article is they're saying that Drop itself, most people think of it as a biochemical reaction. They're actually saying that it's not a biochemical reaction. They're proposing two different models.
That one of them is actually it's a reaction to loss. So like you're doing a scene, you're getting all those happy hormones going around, and it's just you're into it, your tops into it, and it's just afterwards, what happens? You had this happy thing and now it's taken away. So maybe that's the reason why people are having drop.
Maybe it's not a biochemical reaction. Maybe it's just I had this really cool thing, and now it's gone. And now you're reacting to the loss of this really cool thing being gone. Right, and that is they categorize it into two things.
So what they did say, there is the biochemical, that is the immediate after the play scene, because you had something extreme, which is anything that people who do extreme sports, or you have a big fight martial arts, or you run a marathon, or something that's very intense that you prepared for. And then there is the chemical rebalancing because of hormones and all these endorphins and things that went. There's the physiological resettling of those things immediately after the event. But what they're saying is that can be dealt with, you know, like we do, which is called aftercare, where it's like you make sure there's a liquid and maybe something to nash on, and that you're stabilized, and that any psychological triggers that maybe you had in that scene that created a sort of depression or anxiety, that you kind of walk through that with your partner or partners or people that you trust.
And that's in the immediate. And then there's a lot of people who have dropped a few days later. And I think that's the one they called that that was the later X-drop. That's the one that they said isn't necessarily a biocan, even though every drop or depression is something chemically going on in your head.
But it's not directly related to the physicality of the scene. This is now where you're getting into the loss and death. And so or the possibility of loss or the possibility and also talked about the possibility of identity. Yes.
Changing your identity. Oh, now I'm somebody different because of this. Exactly. They were talking about identity development, where it's just you have this certain idea of who you are.
I'm path girl, I'm a pathologist assistant, I'm a mom, I'm a girlfriend, whatever. And when you do these kinky activities, you can actually, you know, start changing your idea of, wow, I'm a kinkster now. What does that mean? Am I a bad person?
Am I, you know, should I be feeling guilty about this? Am I changing because I'm kinky now? So it's just that sense of identity can almost be lost. Where it's just like, OK, I finally come to accept them kinky now what now?
Now, who am I? You know, where do I fit into my world and people around me? Yeah, I think it also varies from beginner to experienced kinkster because obviously, you know, 20 year veteran kinksters can experience drop or what they describe as later X dash drop. And that can be maybe about some different things.
Like I can surely go with loss of your who you think you are, who you were told that you are who your program religiously to believe you are for somebody that's new. Because that we hear about that all the time. It's like loss of innocence. Oh, I can never go back now.
I've actually done this thing that I fantasize about now. I'm a kinky person or loss of purity. Oh, I've sinned loss of sanity. Now I'm a freak loss of self respect.
Oh, I let someone hit me or if you're a top. Oh, I actually hit a woman or I hit somebody, you know, loss of stability. You know, oh, I thought I was this way. Now I'm going to go on this new journey or something, you know.
And so you start hearing a lot of those different voices. And of course, that can add to anxiety and stress and then, you know, create a situation where you're in this drop. And if you can't walk through that and be ready to take that next step, then you can stay in that drop. And it can actually create problems for you and a lot of people leave a lot of people try to just go back to what they were because they're afraid of the change.
They're afraid of not living up to their families expectations or whatever. And I think that's a real sad, scary thing to happen. Yeah. And I think even it can even happen incrementally where like you're okay with stan, you're okay with hair pulling, but then you can even get into some of the more edgier stuff like breath play C and C.
And it's just like, you know, you're okay with that little stuff, you may see important and more mainstream stuff, but then you're getting into the quote harder stuff and it's like, Oh my God, this stuff is changing me. I'm a psycho now. I got to stop this on a free. I'm like, and that's all that's that's literally all social programming.
That's literally all social programming or it's programming of how you want to present yourself as an illusion to the rest of the world. If it turns you on in the moment, if you're there in the moment, and I'm not saying about negative or positive behaviors, but I'm saying who you are is who you are, what you are, what you desire, where you are at this time, things can change and have been flow, but you're in that moment. That's who you are, but who you want to show other people you are. You know, that can be a whole different thing.
And that's a big challenge that you have to be willing to say, Oh, now people have seen me be this way. And that may fuck with your, how you want to look at yourself or you want to have other people look at you. And so that's why when we talk at nauseum on the show about thinking through what you're going to do and negotiating, these are all some of those things that are unforeseen that maybe you just think, Oh, I'm going to go and have some fun. And then you get really into the moment and you're like, Yeah, and you do these things or you see people, see you or you do it in a public party or whatever.
And then all of a sudden now you're faced with these identity issues. And that's something that, you know, we want people who are getting ready to start exploring, King, to think about those things. I don't think it's an inherently bad process. And even in the journal, it didn't talk about it being a bad process, but sometimes you have to go through a little shit to get to that growth.
Right. You have to face some parts of yourself. Now, then of course, Path Girl and I, and the rest of the podcast is going to be like, no, you need to embrace who you are as you are. And obviously do things that are going to be healthy for you and not put yourself at risk to lose everything in your life.
But it's not something to be ashamed of. It's not something to feel like you're somehow a freak because you have desires to do kinky things or maybe even do extreme things that other people might look down on. And those are the things that you have to kind of wrestle with. And that's why it's so important to have people around you while you're dropping.
That can tell you you're okay. You're literally okay. I want to switch now to the people who are veterans because I think, um, veterans in drop, I'll call them veterans. I guess whatever people that are experienced hat can also have dropped that maybe isn't necessarily as much about loss because they've already accepted the fact that they're kinky and fuck the family and what they think.
But they're, they're maybe things like, I'm not where I want to be in my play. Maybe they feel some sort of challenge or competition with themselves unrealistically. Maybe they're like, I disappointed my top or master. We hear that a lot.
Oh, yeah. Um, I don't have the same feelings I used to just love. Like I used to, you know, have these other worldly epiphanies of self discovery. And now I'm just not having that.
So maybe I'm broken, uh, or it's gone, you know, or maybe there's a, you, you hit a point to where you're just like, is this all there is and you start having an existential. So I don't think it's just loss in general for everybody. Um, but I surely love the route that they were going that in, in this journal that just opens up all of these doors. Cause we do overgeneralize.
There's, there's no doubt. I just did a chicken McNugget video, a one minute TikTok video where I did a filter and I'm a chicken McNugget. It's on our TikTok page for the podcast and I have one minute to help somebody who's never heard of drop get through drop. So of course I'm going to overgeneralize the fucking hell out of it.
But it really is a very nuanced thing and I'm so grateful. I'm so hyped on this journal and the fact that they worked so hard. I know these people and how many years it took them just to get the journal and how many years they were preparing for it and gathering legitimate people from, you know, all of the high-end psychological medical community to create a legitimate journal that would be respected by other researchers to talk about things that are real. These are real things that millions of people experience and need to work through.
And we need our medical science and psychological communities to help and do that research and create papers like this so we can get that information out there. Yeah, I mean, especially they were talking at the end of the article about there's so many other avenues that they need to explore as far as like, you know, does drop happen more with positive or negative experiences? Are people that are, you know, more prone to mental issues? Are they more prone to drop?
You know, what physiological processes are happening to drop? And then what's the, you know, what is the physiological? This is, you know, when drop right happens and drop happens later. I mean, going back to what you said with the veterans, you know, we're, especially if you've been in the in the King of Life's Software for a really long time, you everybody is different.
Everybody plays different who you played with one partner as you played with another partner. When I started out in a lifestyle, I was bedroom only and only with the guys that I was in a relationship with and evolving into, I'm now playing with the top, right? Pretty regularly. And you know, I have other great things in my life.
It's just you can't hold it against yourself if you're not the Kingstoner that you were 10 years ago, five years ago, six months ago, because you're constantly learning and evolving. And even in general life, you're not the person you were 20. You're not the person you weren't 30 physiologically, mentally. All those things change as we get older.
And that's you have to learn to embrace that. The universe is kind of changing constantly. Yes. Things are the ripples are meeting other ripples and creating new ripples.
And that is obviously the ebb and flow of your own humanity and your own existential views of yourself and why am I here? Those are always going to be changing. And if you're going to be doing extreme types of play, if you're going to be engaging in, in a type of play that's more than just getting your nut and going to bed, you know, there are some of those things are going to come out. Some of those psychologies are going to be questioned and challenged.
And I think that's amazing. I think that's part of the adventure. And I've known lots of people. I myself, obviously now I'm in a downtime, not by choice, but that ebb and flow, I've seen people get it back completely.
I've seen people get it back and then go further. I've seen people go down a notch, deal with it, and then go in a different direction, go to a different style of, you know, living their humanity. You know, it is, it is a mate, but you can't do it if you don't work it. And if you don't have people around you that you can trust that are going to let you know, hey, we're all here together.
We all understand these processes and we can all support each other doing that stuff alone. The majority of the time I've seen it just be like, okay, well, they were here and now they're gone. Yeah. You know, if you really need because when it gets too crazy, you just shut off and people just end up going, I don't want to do this anymore.
Yeah. And then you miss that possible adventure. You miss that possible growth. You miss that excitement of life and, you know, you got to protect yourself and survive how you are.
I'm not going to tell anyone to push through to the point of, you know, suicide or something. I mean, you know, there's me, but in general, fantastic topic. I go on. I'm just like all excited.
I just, this was such a fun, a fun read. So this is a, what's the website? It's Center for Positive? No journal for positive sexuality.
If anybody wants to link for the article, just hit me up on that. And I'll send it to you. But yeah, it's the journal of positive sexuality. And the article is black and blues, sub drop, top drop, and then drop in scene drop.
We got some mail and we're going to read it for verdine mail box because you need them. Yeah, I got to me a mailbox boogie. I think you got a box. All right.
You got a box that needs some bla bla bla bla bla. Oh, my Lord, I regret having said anything. But yes, this one is from Kazoo, our good friend Kazoo, if you recall, a few weeks ago, Kazoo wrote to us about wanting some fucking advice about living with two partners and how she had to make some decisions and she didn't know if it was going to last and what she should do. So she wrote to us to give us an update and let me just tell you listeners.
I love me some updates. I love hearing from you guys when you've written to us and asked about some dilemma and then like, because you know, boogie, you and I, we just sit there wondering, it becomes this mystery, whatever happened to that listener who wrote to us about whatever. And Kazoo is a great person and a friend of the show. So I'm very glad that she wrote to us.
And she says, I don't know how else to start off this email, but by telling Kathy how right she's been about many things. Sorry, boogie. But one in particular stands above the rest weeks ago, you sent a message to the PP audience that mentioned how you could see yourself living the rest of your life, having tea on Sundays with your sister, gabbing and enjoying yourselves together. I think you had a pretty good idea.
I recently moved out from my partners. You may remember me emailing about nesting, not nesting. Unfortunately, when I'm moving out my relationship with them, both crumble. Fortunately, as I geared up to move and was dumped twice, those around me pointed out more and more how unhealthy my relationship with those two had been.
I hadn't realized how terrified I was of my own home until I had the chance to build a new home from scratch. I won't go into details, but suffice to say that my mental health and physical health has improved drastically since leaving. A dear friend of mine asked me what I think I'd need in a new partner going forward. I told them, I don't think I needed a partner at all.
Life feels new. I laugh more now. I catch myself cracking up alone in my apartment or sighing wisfully into my morning latte. And I think, ah, there she is.
I never thought being single again would come with such happiness. I love it. I love hearing it. I don't think there's anything wrong.
I don't know what I said that would be contrary to discovering your singleness and enjoying being by yourself. I think I thought I've been a great example of that. I've spent most of my adult life single. I'm single right now.
I love it. I do not need a partner. I for the rest of my life, I don't need it. If I land on something and we have some fun, you and I had a fantastic run.
We're still very close. I talked to her literally up to 15 minutes before you and I started recording. I have amazing people in my life. I do not need anyone to complete me.
And when you talk to listeners and they're afraid of that moment where they just have to be by themselves for a while and they're terrified of it. Serial monogamy or you know, whatever, when they have that moment where all of a sudden they meet themselves and they're like, Hey, you know what? I'm actually pretty good. God damn company.
It's a great moment. I am so proud of her. I'm so happy for that. That is fun to buy and hopefully she is masturbating like the wind.
Master. How does the wind master? Wish. And then there's some nice vibrations in it.
That is the end of show three, six, zero. Please don't be shy. Don't be scared. Don't want to buy.
Grow some balls and write to us and I will bake an apple pie. And if I chance you want to show us just how much you do not suck, drop by Patreon. Support us if you truly give a fuck. Why?
I love you guys. Thank you so much to our patrons. Thank you for giving me some sanity and being here and hopefully we'll be getting Kathy some vagina licking pretty soon. All of this.
All of this leads us to the next thing to set a goal. You and I to be here for show three sixty one. On the next time. Oh yeah.
And here's a dumb song about fucking dogs that I hate. Yay.