All right, girl breathe in with me and exhale the perversion Okay, good. Yeah, you gotta give the little creepy air at the end to make it a little more perverted. Okay, breathe in and perverted exhale Now I feel more perfectly. Thank you Old perverts die in creepy ways I That's air we need to do chauffeur then you can die would it be cool though if I just all of a sudden you're like He's joking right he's joking and in the background you just hear And you're like is he fake?
He's such a kid or he's such a kid or wow, he's really good at kidding. He's totally just kidding It's been 11 minutes of kidding Wow, he's really committed to the kidding What a professional I would definitely say if I died on the show and it was recording I would love to have my death posted Is that not how to post it? No, it's not more than I don't know how to post it so nobody would hear it That would be such a waste of a death exactly such a waste of a life and a death well Fortunately, we are creepy. We are perverted we are breathing and we are ready to do a show the following show is for mature audiences only Listen or discretion is advised and because you are responsible for yourself.
There won't be another fucking warning Hello and welcome to a very two people living version of perverted podcast the show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind Recording thousands of miles away on a wonderful crisp fall day. I'm half girl and I am cowbookie back girl We are here yes and breathing and breathing and it is exciting because lots of cool stuff is going on Yes, then I'm kind of excited about in a nerdy kind of way. What's been going on with you? Finally I've gotten back into the swing of things kinky wise I actually went to the last weekend or yeah The wingnut fall hunt where they send us the subs out to be hunted with paint guns and the tops going And then people put on whipping posts so our whole kinky tribe went there That was a really cool event and then last night.
I actually after two and a half months. I finally did my first scene with doc Oh Yeah, it has been a while yes, yes between vanilla life and covid and all that stuff Yes, but two and a half months since I've done a kinky scene so what kind of stuff details details don't just brush over You're brushed over the slave hunt so okay fine. We'll brush over that, but you're not brushing over the beating Okay, well the beating was cat and doc had a private play party and I went on us And a few other people did from our kinky tribe did some very interesting scenes But since I hadn't played with talking a really long time I'm like I need to be beaten please so and he actually at one of the events I didn't go to got this absolutely gorgeous red and black four foot long signal with by this guy and But like he goes by maker he doesn't make whips anymore This is like owning like a piece of like kink history if you have one of these whips and it just rolls out and it feels delicious So we started with some leather straps just as a nice little warm up And then he went into this serrated rubber flogger that I absolutely love and because I hadn't played in such a long time After that first hit I immediately started getting spacey and I just even adrenaline was just like I was up in cuffs And he has like they have like eyebolds from their ceiling So it gets but chains up and take them down when they're not doing scenes So I just felt my right hand just like constantly shaking from the adrenaline It was just like I could not like sitting there going okay I'm gonna come down and even my brain I even started getting a little frenzied a bit because it's just like I'm sitting I'm gonna get hit hit me hit me go fast and go back and I'm like You don't do it do it do it do it turn around like get that football boys and go do it dark beat me No, but there are times I brad on him I'm like geez you call that a hit or there's times like oh Let me round the neck with like an elbow like kind of like not like a full choke hold But just kind of like a rip me and I'm like you call that choke. Oh, yeah, doc doesn't mess around when you start brat And on him over And I actually gonna be talking something about that the more negative version of that That actually fits in let me ask you a question though If you as a bottom if you haven't played in a couple of months I mean you were pumped up and ready to go but do you find that you have to adjust for the distance and pain tolerance?
Oh, definitely I mean, you know doc doc and I've been playing together God almost two years But he knows that we haven't played no while so he does back things down and he always asks me to begin You're seeing what are you in the mood for what's off the table? What's on the table kind of thing and if I say the usual he kind of rolls aside to me? Okay, I know what your usual is but I need to know you know We haven't played in two and a half months So he'll always kind of take it easy and kind of ramp up and kind of see how my reaction started hits and stuff But yeah considering having played in two and a half months He backed down a little bit but I took a lot last night especially from that serrated flogger went to drag and tail Multiple plural drag and tails and then he finished off with that signal whip and it's just like I didn't even know I was getting hit with that particular Whip I just thought it was any whip and I have this gorgeous like a whip will leave what they call a meteor behind where it's got a little dot And then a tail Yeah, I have a gorgeous one on my upper thigh. It's huge I was actually thinking about putting it up a sending it so you put up a bird podcast a little pb flag on it Because it's just so pretty You're all we'll call that path girls comment And it rotates the planet about twice a year.
Yeah, that is awesome Well congratulations on some fun and then of course you had some time with the Adonis so there was some pinnatrado Yes, yes, actually came over Friday night And we had some nice pinnatrado on Friday nights and I knew I was gonna be pretty much worthless when I came home from the play party So we took a nap before we left for the play party and like we set an alarm for a certain time And I woke up and I'm like did you fall asleep? He's like no, I didn't fall asleep either So that I passed on top of him so I can Ride that magical cock of his before he went to the play party, you know, that's just nice That's just nice. That's what we want to hear. How do little nap casual Saturday afternoon Did I mention on the show that I was like 35 when I finally learned what that meant?
Yeah, I think you did but there are probably some listeners out there I go what's an afternoon delight Yeah, you need to cut a YouTube that yeah, it is the cheesiest song I saw some YouTube videos some guy that's like this is the worst song ever written and I'm like How can you call a song that is literally about fucking the worst song ever there are far worse songs even on the level of fucking songs? It's it's a classic song. I was very defensive very defensive that I just remember when I was a kid the only thing if you haven't heard Afternoon delight go fucking YouTube it youngins. There's a part where it's all poo and I remember being like four or five years old And I thought that was the coolest sound early synthesized, you know that of course now It's all you know the the amazing sounds that we can create in our computers But that sound to me was just like wow that was like otherworldly and then especially like it goes up where you can imagine it Oh, don't I wish that it worked that easy not at 54 it doesn't it's all sky rockets in flight grind up Viagra snort Viagra Wait 25 minutes, maybe play a little spanker in the ass finger up at all Afternoon Afternoon disappointment All right, I don't know myself under the bus that I'm almost 50 and I'm noticing changes in my body sexually where it's just like Yeah, that was wonderful changes of life that a woman goes through toward their 50s.
I'm like no no no no no no we're not doing this No, yeah, but your vagina will never slam shell. No, no, I mean it's extremely tight You could always you could always lube it up and fake it dude. You can't fake a boner You know, there's no boner faking I mean if you can that's great But you know if you can slip those popsicle sticks and duct tape around it quick enough and then put three condoms over it So it still has some softness, you know, which I would do if it was easy to do Have I ever told you what my nickname is that one of my poly partners gave me popsicle duct tape check He called me ketchup packet Okay, and if you think about it You normally when you open a ketchup packet and you squirt it and everything comes early So he would always tell me that my vagina was so tight that there'd be plenty of times It'll be like oh, I'm not gonna come for a while I'll be like oh really and I clamped down and Oh That's like a reverse ketchup package. That's the foot that stomps on the ketchup package Well, don't you do that?
So you got to wear like nine condoms for those vice grip vagina women. I'm always in that counterproductive That's counterproductive Hey, I've never heard any complaints is just you know, it kind of cheats me out of it because there's something like I'm clamping down to feel Better and it's like oh crap. I mean come too quick. Yeah, oh damn it Well, that's why you punch him in the ass to loosen him up I feel that grip and I just punch you right in the left butt cheek Tell you when to clamp I'm in control of this donkey punch right here.
Sir. Yes, sir Look at that 10 minutes into the show completely devolved into 12 year old banter So I got an email well congratulations first on a great weekend of play and some good gory details Got a got an email from our buddy J Mois fetish artist. I've been with the chauffeur years and years and years every now and again He does a lot of stuff with Dom con and last couple of years You know like a couple years ago Kathy and I went to Dom comedy brought us in there He emailed me in a desperate joyous J Mois plea and said hey Can you mention to your listeners that we need volunteers for the new Orleans Don con okay? So if you're in the new Orleans area and you want it's really I mean volunteering is obviously awesome You get into the event for free you get acquainted with people you meet people you get to meet all the cool teachers and see the stuff It really is and it helps an event like that go forward and those events have a lot of toys and stuff to sell But they also have a lot of classes and opportunities for people to learn about kink BDSM power dynamics and those types of things So it's a good thing to volunteer for so I of course I always tell Jay will pitch whatever the hell he wants But if you go to the Dom con and it's Dom con do MCON Dot con Go to the new Orleans page and then you can click on that or you can contact night mares stress Night miss night miss night shit.
It's an IGHT MZ T.R. E. S. S at yahoo dot com whatever or just go to the Dom con page for new Orleans and Put something up on the pervert of podcast pages that we'd also promoted to and anybody who want me to have a Nickman Notes as Jay, I lovingly suggested so we got that going on and that's a best of luck to that event So he's a good event.
I've been doing a few times other stuff going on with me spending endless hours endless hours on this Mr. B's thing that I'm doing it's it's been both a joy and just an Exercise in patience and attention deficit frustration validation for us because I'm just coming off of the radio thing that failed and nobody said anything And it just takes a long time to get in like I have seven subscribers I've 13 videos up I have 25 different elements that I've created I've spent hundreds of hours making videos or whatever and it's just it takes a while for the YouTube algorithm to figure out where to put you And it's real frustrating because you've done all this work And I want to try to get a job with them because he put out a video as I said last time put out a video and said he needs People to work for him and that's the perfect type of person that I would love to work for so I'm like I'm gonna go for it So but it's been fine I mean I'm making all sorts of fun stuff and it's really pushing all my boundaries and art and creativity and music mixing and writing and so it's good But you just are like well, I'd like some people to fucking see it Yeah, but you don't forget also you're fighting against an algorithm You're fighting against a computer to try to get seen so you know I mean there are way and that's the thing everyone talks about the algorithm as it's a monster the idea of the recommendation system in YouTube Is to put the right video in front of the right audience because they want you to watch these videos You know they make money off it and advertising and whatever So it's it is its own monster It is scary and it is very technical and I watch endless videos of this stuff on how to do it But it does take time and you have to it's a lot of trial and error because you don't have your own YouTube employees sitting next to you All the time going no you have to put this in the thumbnail and write this in the thing and the thing and the thing and the thing But I mean it's it's fun because I'm learning a lot of stuff, but I got to be honest. It's frustrating Oh, I can imagine it's frustrating, you know, especially my YouTube past is like my spanking video that I did with you Has 1.4 million views and then all the old skit BDSM skit stuff that I used to do with perverted circus Those all have you know 50 70 hundred thousand views and so, you know, I like that Validation I like but that all predates that the algorithm coming down and slamming on the brakes on everything I mean, I know there's plenty and especially YouTube's not a really friendly kink positive place anyway I mean, there's even mainstream channels that are having problems getting chow You know, absolutely absolutely and that's why I'm trying to find and the listeners know this I've talked about this before and surely I talk about it more on to our patrons supporters, but it's We're not gonna make money enough for me to get a love lab and survive and not live in a car doing adult stuff Right, that's just the way it is right now. I'm not pretty and It's everybody is against you every social media every credit card every bank It is not friendly towards making a living being a kink educator.
It is very very uphill So I'm like well, I want to do I'll do both I'll do perverted podcast for fun and for that service But then I have to find a gig doing what I do for something that is not kink or adult oriented So I can you can get monetized like even all of the videos that we did that we got lots and lots of views on You can't be monetized because you instantly go. Yeah, sure monetize me and they go. Oh, we can't that's that's not No, you're not monetized. They will not monetize anything you do they wouldn't do the turkey video that had no foul language No human was being touched.
It was me dominating a raw turkey And not even saying one cuss word and they said no no, this is adult. We're not gonna monetize it So it's it is an uphill battle So by the way, if you want to help me out go to my songs about Jimmy YouTube page and And they can subscribe. So that's what's going on with me. It's exciting You don't give up and you keep trying and that's all you can do.
So let's get to some other shit then Please note that the author of every post you discuss on the show has specifically granted us permission to do so that is wonderful Thank you person to grant us permission not knowing whether we're going to love or hate you well actually kinky geek 81 I flagged this post a while ago because even though I'm not a rope bottom I could really identify this and it was a really great post called failure in rope So kinky geek 81 says this in kink and scenes that we do there's always a risk of failure the impact might accidentally go the wrong place and cause injury The latex might cause an allergic reaction the kit might fail. There might be a miscommunication breakdown or expectation mismatch I think there are some specific failure types with regards to row from both sides of the slash as a rigor I've often felt like a failure, especially when I was in the earlier stages of learning I don't pick up things quickly or easily I don't learn as fast as many people my rope speed isn't as fast as many others This means I authored really lagging in some workshops And I feel like I have totally let down my partner because we haven't achieved our end result or everyone else's rope is pretty In need and mine is messy as fuck and I fail in rope all the time Sell them as a position or sequence go as planned or turn out the way I expected but two things I have learned style it out And it's okay if things don't go according to plan because where they go might be better But I still feel like a failure and I have let my rope partner down and if they feel bad because of my lack of skills Then I've failed because the people I tie with are important to me and I want them to feel good Failure in rope happens. It's a necessary evil of chasing the highs that there also be lows We must be kind to ourselves and each other when it happens and see that just because we failed at something It does not make us failures I think we need to be comfortable with failure to be able to take the risk to do what we do So embrace the process including the failures and be kind to each other when it happens because it's only a failure if we let it make us feel Negatively or learn nothing from it Bravo clap clap smatter smatter little smatter little definite little smatter first off big apology to a Poster because we put it's a very long post and I put you the fuck out of it Yeah, I definitely butchered a lot of it and we'll have that posted on our our FET life page or FET life broadcast met life group page But I had so much fun with this post because obviously It's very clear within a couple of sentences that yes his thing is roped but this applies to literally everything in life Not even just kink exactly it's an it's an approach that I think I have so many times allowed my failures And I love the fact that we use the word failure because that's what it is you have a goal You fail to achieve the goal the word failure doesn't mean automatically you're a bad person right it doesn't mean you are a failure in your entire Life it only means that you set out to do something and you didn't achieve the goal Exactly and I think if we can make that word more of an inspiration to try harder to fix what went wrong Just like it said at the end of the most it's not a failure I had so many things to write you go ahead and give me some of your stuff Yeah, I mean you may walk into a dungeon or a place somewhere and you see people doing a roped scene or people doing a scene And you assume or you look at the scene go wow that's an awesome scene You don't know what's going on in the mechanics of that scene there could be something that's going wrong There could be something that that rigor is like crap this isn't tying right or the bottoms having problems You can have this outside perspective of wow that's amazing and internally the people that are actually doing that scene going fuck I can't get this right for shit And if you have to remember that failure is just okay This didn't work and you can go back to what will fix it I can adjust the rope I can throw my flogger a different way I could practice more I can you know be more communicative of my rope my rope rigor next time say hey Don't time to hear time either There's always ways to fix that failure and even even if there is a failure sometimes like the poster said he goes Sometimes it makes it better a happy accident exactly I've had plenty of those I've had plenty of those where you start a scene and you're like oh this is gonna be a happy joyous You know lovely thing and you're joking and you're laughing and then all of a sudden it just goes chuuuuuuuu The bottom is sobbing and you know They're having something that they were triggered by or they're having some sort of vision or whatever and You have a couple of choices in that in that moment You can be like well, this isn't what I planned and throw your toys in the air and hug Which by the way bottoms tend to not like hyper-pounding dawns It doesn't really show that you're in control of yourself And that is another thing to also bring up is that how you adapt when there is a problem If you're doing something and it's not working right as the top as the dominant as the person that somebody has trusted to be in control Have a plan how you handle a fuck up can be the difference Between whether you're trusted or not trusted respected or not respected or how big of a deal the bottom makes right of it Because if all of a sudden you go into that failure mode and you start kicking the shit out of yourself You're no longer a dominant in that moment You are now you are now somebody that is fragile that needs to be cared for So and I don't want to say this in like a mean way But it is something that you have to bring within yourself that if a mistake happens and this is pre-prep This is stuff you think about long before you pick up the flogger. This is your pre-pre-pre- what do I do if something goes wrong?
Right what do I do first thing you do you go to the bottom right you check with the bottom? Especially if it's something that could be a discomfort or potential injury or there wasn't injury or there's something you are playing with a person You are not competing against yourself The goal is that you are having an interaction with somebody and that you are doing things and you are exploring things So if something goes wrong go to that person And I've had so many times where things have gone wrong and it is something really weird But because we went and stayed together in it It was something that could be laughed off Yeah, it was something that could be moved past because the job isn't necessarily the skill of the toy or the rope or the wrap It's my ability to connect with the person that I'm playing with It's my ability to let them know I have you and I respect you and I care for you and I have the best intention besides corrupting and violating and Humiliating you Besides all the horrible wonderful things that we're gonna do together in the back of my mind I have a plan for your best interest and if you can keep that intention you can go through Anything short of a trip to the ER you can get through well even a trip to the ER can be kind of funny afterwards I mean it's just there's always gonna be well case in point one of the first scenes I did with my first on we did we took he took me out to a shed in the house He was selling and we did a rope whipping scene all right and we did our usual negotiation whenever he started like whipping me With a piece of rope, okay, and left me gorgeous marks and bruises and stuff and then it was a day later I'm not the bruises that dissipating But there's this one triangle shaped bruise on my left butt cheek That was just staying there in two days and three days and four days goes by and it's still there and it looks like it's like a permanent indentation So and this guy that I was playing with was an EMT me put his head in his hands It's like oh my god I permanently scarred you and I just turned around I looked at him I was like look risk you wear a consensual kick and hey at least you vote you know you've marked my ass permanently So I can always go hey that was so and so who left that remember that time and just yeah It's just a funny, you know shit happens You don't have to roll with it. You can't break down if something goes wrong and like you said go to your bottom Talk with them, you know and from the bottom side of it But don't be afraid to speak up and go hey could you move that rope a little bit or even afterwards? Hey, you know how you tied me this way could we try that way?
I might be a little more comfortable That's what the whole debriefing process is for and then the next time you do it and go oh that bottom told me to try this Way and it's gonna get better the communication will make things better And if something goes wrong, hopefully you have a great relationship We can sit there and laugh about it and go okay We learned from that that error or that that failure and improved the mind Absolutely, and I mean we're we're gonna go to the personal in a second But I want to stay in the scene because we're in the scene Don't try to be cool It's my first rule because first off the people that try to be cool if it's in public now It's private whatever but if you're in public and you're trying to be cool We can see it yeah because you're treating your bottom like a toy like a like a vehicle to look cool and that is and to me I've seen people that are amazing that have amazing Flogger skills can flip it shoot one out of their ass catch it with their foot and fucking you know Balance it on the tip of the nose preferably not the one that was up there as you know all sorts of crazy stuff But you can see the bottom is completely bored Mm-hmm and the person's so busy jerking themselves off that you're like I'm not even watching a place scene I'm like watching a shitty circus act somebody showing off Yeah, just someone showing up and there's and then I've seen people with incredible skills That it's like you appreciate the skills, but you see the intention You see the connection that intensity that desire to bring something out of someone Which can be done at the fanciest of fancy or it could be done with just a grab Just holding someone's arm and pulling them close to you and breathing in their ear and giving them an instruction and To see the reaction of the bottom and the control of the top That's where you're like this these are people that know what they're doing Yeah, you know and once again, I love all the fancy stuff I love learning and learning tricks and you know the three beat stuff I don't know what they're called, but I did two-hand stuff that I love doing. Oh Florentine again, but it's so secondary It's so secondary to the connection with your partner and Moving forward you can do that like if you're gonna go work at a club or something like that But it really is is boring. I'd rather have a top who's not that great You know who can Florentine like a professional person and it's just and have somebody who's gonna you know drop a fogger in the middle of a scene Or you know, hey, can you move that cuff? It's a little time.
I'd rather somebody who gets there go oops Sorry, let me think that and then go on then. Oh, no, I put you this way. You're gonna stay this way till the end It's just yeah, that's that you see that stuff and that yeah, dude I have ripped off my glasses and bloggers fly halfway across the room and the whole room's just looking at me and I'm like Yeah, don't tell her And I make the thing and then I run over and pick it up and I put my hand and I go I gave you some time to think and absorb and process I will now continue are you okay with that? Yes, sir?
Everyone in the clubs like Yeah, exactly, you know don't take yourself so goddamn serious and yeah And it makes you understand that those mistakes are gonna happen But enjoy the process and I keep going back to the fact that you don't need to have a lot of fancy skills my rope skills blow Chode man and I'll never forget I had and I've shared this once on the show before there was a guy forget his name It's real cool guy. He always wore a Ming the merciless Cape, you know when he tied but he was really good and he did a lot of intricate cool pretty knots And there was a party and I was real new and I had no idea how to tie but I had two girls that wanted to be tied up And I'm like okay, well, I'm gonna do what I kind of know and I made this totally sloppy bullshit thing that looked like awful And they're a spanking and we were laughing and whatever but I saw that Ming the merciless was watching me Play and I got a little insecure But I still kept playing and then once we finished I went to Ming the merciless and and and he was I looked like you're having fun and I'm like Yeah, yeah, and I go yeah, but dude my tie like it's not like what you do and and it's shit and he literally Ming just stopped me Dead in the middle and he said dude you were tying up two cute chicks Who gives a fuck what the rope looks like exactly and this was somebody that I kind of respected and that made a big impression on me And so when I share with our perverted podcast listeners that are new that don't feel they have a lot of skills dude Just believe in yourself the skills will come but the intention is his paramount If you don't have the intention to have a good placing with your partner Then you will constantly feel like a failure and you won't have any fun your partners won't have any fun They won't really feel comfortable with you because you're just a walking bag of failure and nobody's happy Have fun. Don't forget the main reason why we all do this is having fun building that connection having a story going Yeah, you remember that first time I told you oh my god. It was awful But now oh yeah, these skills have gotten so much better things could be practiced You know, that's especially a lot of people do rope.
They do rope labs where it's just they work out stuff going okay This doesn't work that doesn't work and then trying it with different size bottoms shapes and sizes and it's just have fun That's the main thing of kink absolutely great fantastic fantastic topic It's a great post and we'll put it up on the pet life page and again It's failure and real bite and thank you to kinky geek 81 for letting us use it Glory for the planet right now with the nickname of yeah Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Sing along Enigma. Hi mister. Why Christmas?
Why Christmas? I'm mister snow. I'm mister freeze blister whatever. I'm mister tambalo Shut up.
It's my favorite song in the whole world It's a great song. It really really is. I was just on our patreon and one of our supporters is named heat miser And so shout out to heat miser I instantly I'm like, hetmyser, I'm Snowmyser. And then instantly I have to go to YouTube and watch the clip from.
For those of you that don't know or don't care, first off, fuck off, okay? That is the greatest, I hate holidays, but a year without Santa Claus is my crack. That's it, that's the only holiday thing. I mean, Rudolph was good, and we're talking about the 1970s, claymation animation cartoons.
Oh yeah. And yeah, oh, that was my jam, dude, I used to go nuts. There's a reason a lot of my friends call ourselves the Misfit Toys. It's because of those movies.
The Isle of Misfit Toys. Oh, yeah. So like literally like the only good memories of my childhood. What is this fucking Christmas and then Frosty the Snowman with, I like how we're talking about this in October after you just got finished doing a whole bunch of Fright Fest stuff.
Are you on the Queen Mary this year? No, Fright Fest is up at the Magic Mountain. Oh, you sure you're in Magic Mountain? Yeah, so what is it?
Haunted Harbor, I think, is what's down at the Queen Mary. And I don't, they're doing something. I don't know what it is. It was kind of up in the end of last few years because people didn't want to pay to keep the Queen Mary from sinking.
So whoever is in charge of it now is doing something. Uncle Creepy used to do the Queen Mary Fright Fest. Oh yeah, I actually didn't know that he did all the creepy stuff, too. I know he was creepy, but I didn't know that he was also a scare actor.
He, you guys are the two scare actors of the, I think we had one other at some point in perverted podcast folklore. We had another Fright Knighter person that did the mazes and stuff, but Creepy actually like a few years ago, he was like on the billboard, like one of the big billboards that they had, they took him and all his creepiness. And it was like his big moment. He's like, I made it onto what billboard?
I miss Uncle Creepy. We gotta have him on the show. Have you done anything kinky this week? I haven't done a lot of creepy kinky stuff lately.
I've mostly been living out my fear play and Brymel needs that Fright Fest. But yeah, I played a little bit at a party a few weeks ago, but I've been just so busy with wonderful drama stuff in life. Oh, Jesus. Oh, yeah, I know.
It was my car is at a point where I need to take it in to find out if I need to sell it or get it fixed. Either one is probably going to be expensive. Oh, pursuing health things. I just haven't had the time or the focus to like, yeah, I should be kinky now.
So God, we suck. No, the world is burning around us and we're just trying to be fine with it. Just trying to be fine. That's OK, because we do have a good discussion today.
I'm very excited and I am excited that you're back into scaring. I thought they started a little bit later, but I guess they start what in mid-September to do those things. They actually started like a whole weekend earlier this year. Well, at least you know, in the fright fest, you're dumb enough.
Because you're a dominant and I'm going to do a clever segue into our Reddit rant. But we do have a topic that I pulled off the Reddit's and let me tell you, got me a little hot under the collar, not the right collar, not hot in the pants. Got me a little pissy and not in a, not, I guess, not a super work. Because sometimes it's ignorance, but sometimes it's really not ignorant.
So I'm going to, we don't ask permission on Reddit to talk about people's posts. We just go ahead and do it because it's Reddit. But I will paraphrase and not mention the person's name. So this is somebody who's a Dom A, Dom female dominant, whatever.
And they said, loosely, I've noticed that several partners tell me that I'm not that much of a Dom or not that extreme. It's starting to affect her because, you know, she feels it's more of a negative than constructive criticism. And she says I'm pretty open to things. She, you know, if they could just talk to me, you know, during aftercare for the next time, maybe ask, but, you know, before first session, you know, she's getting shit from people.
And I'm just like frothing, you know, while I'm reading this. And it's like, you know, and she's claiming that she's very upfront and, you know, lets people know what she expects from them. And, and that she's just not at that hyper aggressive level that she does a lot of extreme stuff, which is fine. Starting to get more angry as I read.
And, and then she goes on and then I get pissed because she's like, have any other Doms or Dom A's experience this? It kind of hurts my feelings and makes me feel inadequate. Yes, like it fucking would when a greedy bottom acts like a piece of shit. That's exactly what you're supposed to feel.
I'm sorry. Did I, did I show my cards a little early? Oh, a little bit like this will be a topic that you and I agree on. Like I think it's, I mean, just in general from a top or a bottom perspective, expecting more from your, from your partner than they are willing or comfortable to do.
That's not good for either party and could lead to kind of dangerous situations. If they're not ready, like if this, this, this Dom doesn't sound like they're very what what someone call an edgy Dom. That's not a bad thing. But if they, if someone tries to push them to go towards an edgy direction, that they're not ready to go, that could be very dangerous for the, for the bottom.
Yeah. Yeah. You get what you get what you pay for. And, and once again, I'm going to start trying to be in the positive because there's a very right way and a very wrong way to ask your dominant for more or telling them that you can take more like, you know, after your play scene is done.
When they say they're done, that's when the play scene is done. That's why you let them be the top or the, and especially if you're going to say that this is somehow some sort of power exchange dynamic and throw around the terms dominant in submission. There are ways to talk to your dominant that the same respect that you would give to anyone, the same respect that a dominant gives to a submissive when they talk to their submissive with a certain amount of respect. There is a way that you can ask them or suggest to them that you could take more, that you would be interested in taking more or if your dominant is new and maybe they feel a little bit insecure about what they're doing to you or if it's affecting you, you can assure them that they're not harming you or triggering you.
And if they give you more, that that that is something that you desire or ask them how they feel about giving you more. This is a conversation. And if you're dealing with new dynamics where both parties are new, then those are OK to have those conversations. Of course, if you have somebody who's been a dominant or top for many years and that's just not the level they play at, then you need to go and find somebody that makes you happy, that that gives you the type of play you want, if that's what you want as a bottom.
But if you're going to kind of come in and just start bossing around somebody, then there's that's I don't understand how that's a power exchange. Yeah, it's not it's it's somebody coming into kink and expecting it to be a certain way. It's like trying to have sex with somebody and then expecting it to be like the porn you watch, but like, you know, porn isn't a realistic expect there. Realistic representation of what sex is like.
So like if you're a dominant or as a biz, if you come in and like you expect in this case, if you expect your job to be some sort of version of a job, like you envision to be in that leather, stilettos, of course, say whatever, and that's just not the kind of person that they are, like, you're going to be not only disappointed, but you're going to run in like you're saying like we're saying earlier, you're going to run into dangerous situations or you're just going to run through a lot of people that aren't interested in playing with you because you're expecting more out of them than than they're able to do like I consider myself like I related to this this Reddit post quite a bit because like I'm I'm not a very like I don't I don't wear a lot of leather like I wear my kilt but like I very rarely will like dress up dress up for for kink like I'm definitely more of a casual player and I and I have had people kind of not want to play with me because I don't I don't look the part so to speak so and I think that kind of I almost think that that's almost a ripple effect of like the old guard wanting it to stay a certain way because I think a lot of ways there are expectations from how people have discovered kinks so they might have like read something online that showed it a certain way and so that they show up expecting that kind of kink when they get there. Yeah, I mean it really is I think what's so important in this is that this is such a two-way street if you're just doing it for play play okay fine you know you're you're living your fantasy show up at a dungeon tell someone what you want if they want to do to you what you want them to do great go have at it and see if it works out but if you're gonna throw a round words like dominance and submission in a power exchange and this goes both ways if you're not interested in the dominance needs their validation what their limits are then I'm sorry that's just you're not in a power exchange you're just being a greedy bottom now if you don't know how to ask for that it's you know it can be it can be one of those mistakes that's just an innocent ignorant mistake which we've all made there I'm not talking about that but there are people that have been bottoms greedy shitty bottoms for years and I've heard a lot of dominance complained especially in the female dominant community a lot of greedy male subs come in and they're just like hey I did this to me and it's just it just pisses me off because it's like why if the bottoms limits are somehow poo-pooed by the dominant you are ostracized from the community as a dominant it ruins your reputation if somebody says hey these are what my limits are and you get a reputation of not of of shitting on somebody's limits as a bottom you're out so why is that not the same rule for a bottom that abuses a top no yeah there's definitely a bit of a uh double standard yeah double standard yeah there's definitely double standard going on and I think if and it sucks because I think if a bottom does it enough then they start to get attention like I have seen uh you know I I send a couple of uh Dom Dom A led party is and like they're definitely people who show up and they get a reputation for being very like they will jump on anybody who remotely looks like a Tom A whether or not they are or not and then expect that person to treat treat them like already being a dynamic already be ready to to in a way serve this sub because they came in expecting a certain treatment and and like they get a reputation but if a new person walks in and they're not ready for it they might kind of fall into that at first yeah I mean it's a it's a trap and once again I'm pro communication this is just something you expect in any group that you enter any level of kink any type of kink whether you go into the rope community or the littles community or the leather community you're always going to have greedy selfish people on both ends of the whip and that's something that you have to watch out for and you have to protect yourself but understand I'm speaking up for tops usually we kick the crap out of tops because we're the ones that make the most dangerous mistakes um but in this case this is really an equal road for me that there needs to be a mutual respect between both tops and bottoms and there needs to be expectations of both to act respectfully to the person you're playing with because it hurts just as much to feel inadequate and feels shitty when you're trying to put energy forth and you're trying and especially when you're trying to learn something and do it right and not harm someone and deal with all that negative social programming and stress about being in control and dominating a woman or dominating a man you know that's a there's a lot of stuff that goes on in your if you have compassion if you're you know you have no compassion then fine you're you're feelings you don't have any feelings but most of us we want to not harm our bottoms and so sometimes we make decisions I've made decisions where I've been clearly asked to do something that I'm not comfortable doing especially like choke me out you know do certain types of predicament play where I think those things are sketchy and I'm not going to take that risk and you feel insecure because you want to be the super dom that does everything but you have to accept that I'm not and for good reason for good reason and my limits as a as a top are valid they're absolutely valid you don't have to be into what I'm into but if you disrespect me I've put my toys down before oh yeah people start pulling that whole fun yeah I'm not talking about fun bratty or whatever I'm talking about people like what is that all you got you got to do more I can take you bla bla bla bla I put my toys down and go we're done yeah we're done don't talk to me like I'm your bitch because I don't have bitch written on my fucking forehead and I'm not here to be your bitch that's that's not the scene we negotiated yeah you know and once again it got me all hot and bothered because I know a lot of people that this has happened to and the double standard but I think it's the same on both sides of the road respect who you're with and respect the limits of who you're with and there is a way it doesn't make you bad for wanting more extreme stuff if you're on the bottom but it also very much doesn't make you a bad person if you aren't ready to or you're not interested in going to those more extreme levels oh yeah like I've definitely had people be like I'm really into needles and I'm like I'm not and I'm it's not something I'm comfortable with and I'm not gonna just like pick up a box of piercing needles and be like all right let's go because like that's that's I don't know what I'm doing I don't know if I'm poking the right spot and unless they're gonna sit there and like direct me into what I'm doing that's not like it's not gonna be a fun scene for them or me for that matter so like I it's definitely important for both sides to be able to communicate as much as possible I think one thing that happens a lot is there's a lot of I know a lot of dominance that actually have some sort of checklist in their bag or in their or at least at the ready that they can send to a partner and be like hey fill this out and so that way I have something to reference when like before we play and that way I can make sure that I'm respecting you I think subs could have a very similar thing so that way they have answers they can have a lot of things covered from their dom and know what's coming and so that way both both parties are actually you know more knowledgeable about the other person before they ever step into a playroom I absolutely agree with that and the last thing I'll just throw in is a lot of people that come in with the fantasy like you were talking about before they don't know about the connection the chemistry and the in sorry the intimacy that you can achieve they don't understand about the higher levels of that bond and connection which is what creates that power exchange right and if you don't respect each other in that way you're never going to get to those amazing things so I think for me you know there's play play and then there's those times where I want to connect with somebody and I don't want to be used and I don't want to use them so it's a great topic it was it was really good and I'm really sad that this person went through this and we all there was a hundred people that gave really positive feedback to her so I feel like that she she got some support but it was good to talk about here yeah and I think it's one of those things that I think needs to come up on a regular basis because like we know here on the podcast that we get a lot of people who this is the preferred podcast is there like first step into kink and if we can give them a little bit of insight on how to approach a scene a bit more safely then I think that's gonna give people a better time jumping into this wonderful kink world that we you know play in completely agree enigma everybody is okay at whatever level they're comfortable with and and that's totally fucking cool if our little our little creatures of joy and magic want to get a hold of us where they gonna go well they can find us on social media's we're on instagram at we're on twitter at perverted pcast and you can find us on fatlight there's both a group and a page just search perverted podcast and if you want to go have the shit scared out of you and possibly get a mental bro finger you can see enigma at six flags magic mountain in Valencia outside of Los Angeles I'll find you happy rain superior all of us are inferior her mental prowess titillates as we dream of her posterior so path girl yes okay a little bit of news for the show that I didn't put in potato mayhem because I kind of wanted to make it its own thing and I'm not gonna go too elaborate on this and make it big and schmutzied but I have some information for the preferred podcast listeners that I do need to share and we're gonna see how uh Kathy wants to proceed moving forward if she wants to add anything else to it but Kathy has officially stepped down from her duties as a co-host a perverted podcast and it was amicable I wrote a post it's on our perverted podcast fettlight page and then I said something and then Kathy responded immediately and her and I are fine good I'm glad her and I are absolutely good and I was honest yes of course this was motivated initially by a fight that we had when I came on last time said oh Kathy and her fighting we fought right before that show and just ended up not doing it but everyone who listens to perverted podcast was like yeah you guys have been fighting for fucking seven years yeah so nothing new and uh and so I just wanted to make sure that the listeners understood that this is bigger than just us having a tiff before a show um this is this is when you get to a point to where not even just about her life and all the challenges that she's going through in her life where she's putting a life together for herself with her sister where you know how is that going to play out for the rest of her life with her career and all of those things but there but there is what services am I best equipped for moving forward and and then of course there is the relationship between her and I and how we maintain a friendship and the limits that we have to put because we are two very different people philosophically and as far as the show goes we have always been philosophically very different about where we want to go with perverted podcast and I'm not going to discuss those if you've listened for long enough there's 340 episodes that she's on where you can hear what we're different about and so I'm not going to really go into that but there are some some pretty significant differences and then there's some friction there that has made it so we can't communicate in certain ways like normal people would so after seven years of doing that still being supportive of Kathy Kathy still being supportive of me still having a lot of love for each other to where hopefully until one of us dies we can still be there in that special way that we support each other like we're going to dinner when I get back from from Texas uh we're gonna go to dinner not talk about the issue but just go and be friends and not have to worry about the pressure of doing a show together so that's kind of what's happening and I just wanted to mention it I just wanted it to kind of have it its own thing because I know a lot of the listeners are very sad about this I know some of the listeners are angry about this and I just want to say you are free to speculate however you want you can you can think I am an asshole this Kathy's an asshole that most people think I'm the asshole which I am and that's totally fine um and that's for your entertainment you don't know the relationship the 12 years that I've been friends with Kathy and the immense amount of time that we have spent being of service to a community not just with perverted podcast but in the old threshold days you know shoulder to shoulder we fought a lot of battles together and we had each other's backs and uh and so absolutely if you want to hate if you want to leave the show if you liked Kathy more than you like me um I I'm not at this point don't care do what you do what you're gonna do feel the best that you can feel about yourself find the service and the podcast that you need but I'm telling you it was a great run with Kathy and I have a lot of respect for her in her ability to communicate to be funny to be entertaining and to have really clear thoughts about the things that she's passionate about and on 90% of them we're on the same page and always happen so uh so that's my my Kathy update whether or not she wants to because of course I leave the door open to everyone you know if she wants to come back or do an interview or do something or do a segment where whatever you know the door's open but Kathy's not on the show anymore can I can I say something real quick sure I just want the listeners to kind of pause and take a breath because I know the first time that Kathy left was she had a lot of inner turmoil in her life both public and private and I think people need to realize that any part of human life can't decide life is a journey and there's sometimes you just evolve out of what you're currently doing the person you're at 20 is not the person you're at 40 not the person you're at 50 and Kathy when I started listening to perverted podcast episode one there were four or five co-hosts and perverted podcasts devolved into so many different versions of itself and Kathy's been an amazing part of it and I just think the listeners kind of have to respect that if Kathy wants to move on this is her evolving into her new wife pretty much her new version of herself where she's happy and sane and mentally healthy and whatever's gonna come next for her that's gonna be awesome and just please try to respect that or maybe she hates my guts and doesn't want to do a show with me that's possible and she's just being really nice the listeners have to respect that's because also possibility yeah she talks real nice but who knows she may be like I can't fucking deal that fucking asshole anymore I'm just glad you guys still have a friendship after all this that's amazing absolutely when I get back we're gonna go by I'm gonna go buy her some chicken we will come you know we're chicken we may throw the chicken at each other that's what we're gonna do and that is the end of comments love a halo please reach out to us at the birdie podcast at gmail.com or find us on that live tick tock or instagram under the name perverted podcast and if you think the show brings about your life and is beneficial to under humans on earth please considering donating five bucks if you give a box to our patreon account at patreon.com slash perverted podcast and as always love and smushy kisses to all our patrons around the world your support means the world to us thank you so much path girl that was delightful and thank you for always being there to to step up and I really also enjoyed and I don't know if I've said this on the show but I have really enjoyed the relationship that I've had with you and your efforts to improve as a host and all the time we talk about hosting and discussions and all the hours that we've spent off the air really trying to get better to have better conversations and of course Kathy and I had seven years to build the communication that we had and you and I have had far far less time on the air to do that but I really feel that we do have good conversations and a lot of our co-hosts I feel we have good conversations with and I'm excited to build that with you and the other people that join me on perverted podcast and I just I'm very excited about you being here and always so willing to step up and be of service to this community I really appreciate it. Thank you I really really do enjoy doing the podcast like you said it's service to my community because they make you think that physically I can't do like help set up or break down a dungeon I if I can help people along your can journey be a little scared a little more positive about yourself that's so awesome and easily really does and thank you so much to all of our patrons subscribers you guys have gone through the wringer with us and I keep saying if you guys want to stop supporting that's fine but they're like shut up shut up shut up broke ass mama's motherfucker just shut up and say you need us I'm like ma ma ma ma ma ma but well okay I need you too it's true and if you have um I am taking applications once again for a spare vagina if you have a vagina to land if you are going to be at the end of October in the Los Angeles area and you would like to loan me your body and your vagina and your mind and and I kind of want you to you know be there present to with the vagina and kind of yeah I kind of want the whole thing you're advertising for a female boogie a whole female is that what it is yes because if you want to bring one's a little bit of a mouthy end of a giant you kind of want to put them all together so yes I always say like I want to just use a woman I just wanted like just Jacob's coming you and walking away and I know there's so many women that are like yeah I'll totally come down for you but it always comes down to it and I'm like yeah I just want to fuck someone but you know I want to be able to make jokes with you and hang out maybe have a sandwich yeah maybe a conversation with some chicken with with a new bottom yeah okay I just made an asset myself but that's something I do at least five times a show so what else is I am consistent thank you our fine perverted podcast listeners and we will see you next time on show 364