369: Love - The Glue Between Anxious Women and Wandering Men

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:25 Q1:  When Neuroticism Sees the Breakup Coming Before He Does 11:25 Small Adjustments vs Sudden shifts 20:30 Analyzing key parameters 36:20 Q2: Pair Bonding: Nature's Anti-Chippy Software Update 45:15 Final thoughts Q1: I am a female scoring high on the vulnerability dimension of neuroticism on the Big 5 assessment. I have always left partners first when I felt any kind of instability in the relationship or felt they weren't completely into me. I married my husband who had been my friend for years and knew he was stable and completely into me, this was comforting and we have been married for 13 years. Just knowing that men naturally value women who are fertile scares me when thinking about our future together when I am 45 and up (I am currently 35)- he scores very low in openness and expresses his contentment for our relationship, seems to value me, but I am also going to be legally blind in older age. However, I'm setting myself up to be able to continue earning an income and I am involved in social activities and hobbies on my own. I find myself wanting to leave and establish my own apartment when my younger daughter is a teenager, just so I can avoid any future problems in my relationship with him. It's like with evo psych I can see the future that he will not value me and I just don't want to ever experience that (thanks, neuroticism :( ) I would appreciate any insight and advice about this! If I bring this up to my husband he just says "what a narrow view of the world you have". Q2: I don't understand wife, wife, wife, chippy from an evolutionary psychology standpoint. If everything comes down to reproduction and pair bonding didn't exist in the stone age, wouldn't it just be chippy, chippy, chippy, chippy? Didn't the chiefs and best hunters just sleep with as many females as they chose? I know that traditionally men had harems, slaves, concubines and multiple wives, with the men sleeping with multiple females at the same time without commitment. What changed to create the wife relationship or pair bonding in the first place? X: @BeatYourGenes Web: www.beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast   Become Binge Free Course by Justina Froese https://justinafroese.com/become-binge-free/ Participants will have long-term access. It includes 100+ lectures, a community, social eating solutions, over 10+ hours of video content, recipes, and more—literally everything about recovering from binge eating. It's like a binge eating library that will be updated whenever there's something new and valuable to share.