371 - Beast

The absence of presence that is Idris Elba, who we'd like to like one day, stars in Beast, a Jurassic Park knock-off that pitches him against both his distant daughter and an excessively affectionate lion. It's a film that Mike enjoyed unironically but can't claim to find much quality in; José, showing off, provides a coherent response, seeing the film's weaknesses and having no fun. It's a mechanical film in more ways than one. The character relationships crash inelegantly into place, the action hasn't met an idea from a better film that it didn't try to copy - and the seats share the load, tilting and rumbling along with the images. For reasons beyond our understanding, our local Cineworld offered Beast only in 4DX, the theme park-style augmented exhibition format that purports to enhance the cinematic experience through practical effects such as moving seats, wind, and strobe lighting. It's a technology that José despises to its core, arguing that it betrays a lack of trust in the film's own ability to excite its audience, while Mike, who is in his thirties, likes filling himself up with fizzy liquid and sugar and being shaken around all afternoon. Still, no amount of physical animation can either distract from or add to the vacuum of cinematic substance that is Idris Elba, Beast's central problem and central lack. It makes for a film you won't regret ignoring. Recorded on 28th August 2022.