378. The School Leader’s Playbook for Tough Conversations with Erica Bear and Tiffany Burns

What does it take to have a tough conversation that is both clear and compassionate? In this episode of Aspire to Lead, Joshua Stamper sits down with Erica Bear and Tiffany Burns to discuss their new book, The School Leader’s Playbook for Tough Conversations, and the practical strategies school leaders need when navigating conflict, feedback, and high-stakes communication. Erica and Tiffany unpack why these conversations are often avoided, how strong relationships and intentional preparation create better outcomes, and what leaders can do to stay calm when emotions rise. They share how to plan for difficult conversations, how to de-escalate when things go sideways, and why listening, clarity, and follow-through matter so much in leadership. The conversation also explores the role of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and connection in building trust with staff, families, and school communities. About Erika Bare & Tiffany Burns Erika Bare is the Superintendent of the South Umpqua School District. She has been an educator for over 20 years serving at every grade level in a variety of roles. Erika is a special education teacher by training. Tiffany Burns is an instructional leadership coach, university instructor, author, and former long-time principal with more than 20 years of experience in Oregon, Alaska, and Mexico. Together, they wrote Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for Talking with Students and The School Leaders Playbook for Tough Conversations. Their work empowers educators to help all students feel loved, understood, and a deep sense of belonging so they can learn at the highest levels. Follow Erika Bare & Tiffany Burns Website:www.ConnectingThroughConversation.comFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090370647418&mibextid=LQQJ4dInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/connectingthroughconversation/Linked In Erika Bare:https://linkedin.com/in/erika-bare-6a72a6215Linkedin Tiffany Burns:https://linkedin.com/in/tiffany-burns-90a50a274LinkedinCTC:https://www.linkedin.com/company/connecting-through-conversation/Twitter:https://twitter.com/CTCPlaybook.comYoutube:https://www.youtube.com/@CTCPlaybook https://www.amazon.com/School-Leaders-Playbook-Tough-Conversations/dp/B0GWWC65JW?crid=2OSIX3R7NAVLX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sVW3jtISTiaywNfgE9IJsvlcivIfRKl9z4IgEWkCQzY660pUGzdsZLRjEKB7L5_z4cn2BX_Jhg2QYSc3GZpHn5KkJTqp4BABtcgaTeR4nQ5H81y4Sm3J9B5bbeFCD5q5_n6sLz6f_yEHygIleQokZDJMAbKyX8IrCX3pe7iuC8c.iVSAGtcS1sM3oOZtO8McgHo264WYKV0-LmcBTZ_G6oA&dib_tag=se&keywords=The+School+Leader%E2%80%99s+Playbook+for+Tough+Conversations+book&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1777229108&sprefix=the+school+leader+s+playbook+for+tough+conversations+boo%2Caps%2C183&sr=8-1&linkCode=ll2&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=b232a9e7537307d2e2021120bb59bccb&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl — #1 New Release, "The Language of Behavior" is NOW Available! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DVT32KQ1?&linkCode=ll1&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=d18e5a44a6582a22d15ee23193af7bb8&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl The Language of Behavior is an essential guide for school leaders committed to transforming their school culture and addressing student behavior through a more compassionate, effective approach. Drawing on their extensive experience in education, Charle Peck and Joshua Stamper challenge outdated disciplinary practices and offer a clear, trauma-informed framework that empowers educators to interpret student behavior as a form of communication. Through three core tenets—Consider the Environment, Explore the Root Causes of Behavior, and Respond with Intentionality—this book equips leaders with actionable strategies to foster positive behavior, build stronger relationships, and cultivate a more supportive school climate. Packed with real-world case studies, evidence-based practices, and insights into the lasting effects of childhood trauma, The Language of Behavior provides school leaders with the tools to create lasting, meaningful change. It offers a roadmap to reduce behavior issues, re-engage students and staff, and establish a culture of accountability and empathy. This book is not just a reference—it's a call to lead with vision and transform how we approach discipline, ensuring every student has the opportunity to thrive. Bulk Orders: https://www.connectedd.org/bulk-orders — Need a Presenter for a conference or school PD? Contact Brad Waid to book Joshua Stamper for your next event on Improving Student Behavior, Impacting School Mental Health, or Creating healthy habits. Follow the Host, Joshua Stamper: Contact:https://joshstamper.com/contact/Twitter:www.twitter.com/Joshua__StamperInstagram:www.instagram.com/joshua__stamperLinkedin:www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-stamperFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/AspirePodcastSubscribe:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aspire-the-leadership-development-podcast/id1384210762?mt=2 -- Aspire to Lead Won the FireBird Award! I’m happy to announce that my book, “Aspire to Lead”, won the 2022 Leadership Book Award from Speak Up Talk Radio! It is a great honor to get this kind of recognition and I really appreciate all your support! The book is available for purchase on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1953852386/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1953852386&linkCode=as2&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=0d9c336e3db6ab16cbb08421ef3e4175 Review the Podcast I want to give a huge shout out to those who have taken the time to provide a review on Apple, Spotify or any other podcast platform. It truly means the world to me that you would take the 30- 90 seconds to share how the podcast has positively impacted you or why other educators should check out the show. This post contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase through these links, The Aspire Podcast gets a small percentage of the sale at no extra cost to you. Teach Better Podcast Network This podcast is a part of the Teach Better Podcast Network. Explore the Teach Better Podcast Network—your hub for insightful conversations covering diverse education topics. Our podcasts empower educators, fostering progressive, student-focused classrooms. Choose a podcast, subscribe, and dive into recent episodes now at https://www.teachbetterpodcastnetwork.com/