It's a movie that asks the question, what would life be like if we couldn't tell a pocket watch from a necklace? This week on King Me, true evil never dies. Sometimes they come back again. Cheers.
King Me. Baby. Be it on. Oh wow, welcome to King Me, baby.
It's the unofficial Stephen King movie podcast, the official podcast of Kinging Me. Get in your ass, King. Get in your ass, maybe King yourself at once. Gonna make me do all the heavy lifting on this little microphone.
It's also the official podcast of being, what I say, like being like just real sweet and nice. Yeah, yeah. It's just being nice. It's also the official podcast of, well, based on the things we're doing, we record this functional alcoholism.
Pow, right in the kisser. I shit my pants. That's the whole Jackie Gleason catchphrase. How right in the kisser?
I shit my pants. Cut, we have to reset. Jackie shit his pants again. You have to figure Jackie Gleason shit his pants at least twice over the course of the honeymooners.
Big fat drunk like him. I'm a sloppy dancing fatso. Yeah, it had to be like a problem on so. That Jackie Gleason couldn't stop.
Yeah, but you know how like there's that story that he never rehearsed any of his lines or anything. He just like went. He just went. That was.
You know, he's just like a studio cover up. We can't have all this business about Jackie Soil and himself getting out. Let's line say he's never learned any of his lines. Less damage.
He's that good. Yeah. I'm Jack Gagley already. That's why Art Carney is always like, we've got that grimace on his face because he can smell his shit.
And that's Rob Avon. Hi, I'm Rob Avon. And this is a, this is a podcast for nobody. Yeah.
It's a podcast about movies no one cares about where the first five minutes is us talking about a show no one. It's still alive to care about. A hundred year old show. The first show.
Yeah. It's so old that like there was, it's from that era where the visual of like Jackie Gleason's cartoon face on the moon wasn't horrendous. Right. That is not for modern sensibility.
It's like I watch March of the Wind soldiers every year on Thanksgiving. That's the worst. Is there anything more horrifying than that? There really isn't.
Are you the one who told me that the, was it like the Mickey Mouse knockoff is a monkey in a suit? No. Yeah. It's like a little Mickey Mouse dancing around.
I was like, oh, that's cool. They humiliated a little person in the 30s. It's par for the course. Yes, again.
Yeah. No, it's like a monkey and it's clearly, I don't know if they got it drunk or it's just the fumes from like old paint. Right. But there's a monkey that's like trying to dance and it keeps falling over.
And it's right next to this guy who's dressed like a pig. Oh, yeah. But you can see his human eyes through it. It's, it is some like real fucking, David Lynch shit.
Yeah. Yeah. And then the pig starts like speaking backwards. Yeah.
Yeah. Someone picks up a phone and it's just a woman screaming. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. March of the wooden soldiers. Or babes and toy lands. That's all right.
This week we're talking about babes and toy lands. Just kidding. You guys can. Oh, yeah.
Let's do the house cleaning. Yeah. Please rate review, subscribe and follow us on iTunes and SoundCloud. Guys, if you leave a review of five stars, wow, in character as Stephen King, we will fucking read it.
Or even if you don't, in fact, we have a new review. Oh, is that's real? Yeah, we do. So I'm going to take a second to read it.
Hey. You just, you give me half a second. Yeah. Can you vamp?
Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Oh boy.
Oh, no. Oh, he's a long floundering. That's a good. Have you guys, have you seen any other little hardy movie?
No, Rob. No. Come on. What a.
Oh, geez. What about that one where? No. No.
You're right. I got it. My guy who read it from page until end is when he hits the hot dogs with a cane. Go.
Are those hot dogs? I don't know. I always love it. I know exactly what you're talking about.
And it's really funny because he's like bouncing them off the ground and hitting them with one arm. So I can't read the full title because it's like it's cut off. But I see the kinds of the kind of hosts you want to shoot the and then the letter K-I, the two letters. I don't think that's one letter.
Yeah. And then ellipses and I can't see the rest. What do you think it is? Shoot the king with.
Shoot. I don't like the implications of that. We don't want Stephen King dead. I know.
We've talked about this. We love Stephen King. Stephen King. Come on the show.
Yeah. The kind of hosts you want to shoot the king with. Oh, wow. I guess right.
Yeah. Well, not a fan. Right guy. Stephen King adaptations are until you look them up on IMDB or wherever and see there's hundreds.
There's no way you're getting through all of them. And with this much content, thank goodness King me exists to hold our oral, not oral, hands through this truly insane body of work. So much to explore in the host are great at being funny. True.
But also have a sense for richer moments when they pop up. True. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Which is why there was like two months of the show where we kept calling women's vagina snails. Yeah. I think that's the kind of richer moment he's referring to.
Yeah. And guys, just so we know right off the bat, plenty of snails in this movie. Oh, wow. Snail.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did we have a new name for them based on a different actress's name from like a week or two ago?
Maybe. It doesn't matter. They're one snails always going to be snails. And finally, he says, thankfully, oh, that was the review, by the way.
Everything I said, everything Rob said, he has it broken up into screenplay format. Thankfully, most of Stephen King stories are bonkers. So it all makes for a marvelous podcast stew. Thank you, right, 9,000.
Don't understand the four star rating, but thank you all the same. He seems like a fan. Yeah. I don't know what happened that we couldn't get that last.
That last star. Yeah. What do we got to do? We don't, yes, Paul Ftonk has never been on the show.
I see that you gave the podcast two packs, Trading Card Comedy, five stars. Oh, I know who right guy is now. How you doing? Yeah.
I'm not going to say, but I know. All right. Sounds like a real nerd though, and I'm not a fan. So this week we're talking about sometimes they come back again from 1996 directed by Adam Grossman, characters by Stephen King.
Yeah. This is Story by Guy Rydell and screenplay by Guy Rydell and Adam Grossman. It's a real murderer's row. A-Rob.
Yeah. This guy, Adam Grossman, he also directed the next, sometimes they come back for more. So well, he did such a bang up job. He sure did.
This isn't a good movie. It's real bad. Well, before we start being rude about it, let's talk about it. Let's just refresh everyone on the first, because this is a sequel.
It's a two-way TV movie. Right. From the title you may have gathered that this has happened once before. Well, from the title you'd probably think it happened twice before.
Sometimes they come back again. Yeah. Like, it sounds like... How many times?
Sometimes they come back. It seems like it should be the sequel to We're Back, the Dinosaur Romp. Oh, great film. That's a good one.
Thank you, Charles Nelson Riley, for everything. He's in that, right? Oh, that's a troll in Central Park. Easy mistake.
Easy mistake. I truly feel that way. Yeah. Martin Short is in...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, never mind. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back.
We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back.
We have a bunch of awesome different things and stuff. But there's, oh,GER Hawley. Right. So that, you know, the role you can do on this is because we might have a very cool job looking for stuff and stuff.
Would you tell them about them? But you know, it's like a, and then they get hit by the train again, but it's a hell train. It's like a demon train. Yeah, yeah.
And it scoops them up in the hell train, hell train. And, and then there's that really awful like upsetting scene where the older brother as a child comes back and he's talking to grown up version of his little brother. Yeah. And he's like, there's nobody else here on the other side.
Oh my God, that's right. I forgot about that. It's real lonely over here for eternity. Well, bye.
Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'm a live forever. I guess.
Yeah, this thing's horrible. I don't want that. Yeah. I'm like, negative space after life.
We're like, you say something and like it echoes louder and louder over time. Yeah. I imagine like, it's one of those places that's all like completely white. Yeah.
No up or down. Yep. And you always hear somebody talking off in the distance and you can never reach. Yeah.
And you can even maybe see them, but you never get closer. Oh, boy. So these are my nightmares. So that, that like recap.
Yeah. Imagine this movie is like, if we played a game of telephone with a few people based on that recap. Yeah. Alright, so some of my like evil greasers.
And then I was like, brother or sister. Yeah, it's like that someone gets killed and then we're in a tunnel. Yeah. And the greasers, they're like, they're all like demons or something the whole time.
Yeah. Yeah. They're saying this. Like, the guy is kind of like, and then someone, he's kind of the main character is kind of a jerk.
Yeah. Yeah. Kind of looks like Paul Newman. Yeah.
Like a bad Paul Newman. Yeah. Like a shitty Newman. A rotten Newman.
Oh, I would say that's Newman from Science Child is the true run. Oh, well, he's just a real scoundrel. He's a real scoundrel. Yeah.
No, it's like, yeah, it's, it's weird. It's from the get go with this movie. Yeah. Okay.
Let's do our best. Yeah, let's do our best here. Okay. You said who would start.
It stars Michael Gross. Who? That's our shitty Paul Newman. Yeah, that's that's shitty Newman.
He's, you might know him as the dad from family ties or he was also in the first tremors movie and the third one, not the second one and the fourth one and all of the tremors movies after that. Wow. There's way too many. There's also in the upcoming power of the air.
So be on the lookout for that power of the air. However, the air is also on an episode two episodes, even of special victims unit. Hey, as two separate characters, 14 years apart. So that's the statute of limitations.
I guess I'm playing a character on SVU before you're allowed to come back. Yeah. Interesting. Have you ever seen family ties?
No, I have not. Do you know anything about it? Michael J. Fox was Alex P.
Keaton. That's right. That's from the light funky one song, Summertime Girls. Yeah.
LFO. Do you know that's what that stands for? Yeah. Yeah, it's great.
Yeah. So Michael J. Fox, that was his first gig. Really?
Breakout role. Yeah. That was his morgue. Yeah.
He was from work. He was the coolest. Well, that's the thing. Yeah, people, because he's fucking Michael J.
Fox. He's the most charming man. The most charming young man for all the time. And Michael Gross and his wife, who I do not know her name, they were both, they were like hippies.
They were baby-boomer hippies. This is so weird. It's like the opposite of all in the family. Yes.
Yeah, that's exactly right. That's so weird. Michael J. Fox is just like, you know what I think about Chinese people?
Yeah. Well, yeah, kind of. He was a super similar. He always wore like a suit and tie.
And he was like, always had a briefcase, but he was in high school. Oh my God. That kid was getting eviscerated. Yeah.
He was like, I'm not going to harass him. We have to destroy him. Yeah. That's horrifying.
I did not know that it was like conservative propaganda. Yeah. This is very shocking. Yeah.
Yeah. That's pretty much all I know from it. Didn't he? Is that the show where someone is a friend named Boner?
No, that's a growing paint. Is that the Ellen Thicke one? That's Ellen Thicke and that's fucking thickened boner. What's the fucking guy?
Kurt Cameron. Oh, yeah. Kurt Cameron. Who in real life, he's a real life Alex B.
He's a real boner himself. He's a real dink. He's got an aura. We should have him on the show.
Kurt Cameron. He's like, if you haven't noticed a banana, it's gone away. Shaped like a Coca-Cola can. It's called this pop-top right there.
God's clever design. Yes. Yes. No.
No. I've never seen any Kurt Cameron movies. Like any of his weird. Yeah.
No, I've seen like a trailer for one I'm sure. I saw it's like Fire. Firewalk with me. The two-piece movie?
Yeah. It's weird. Yeah. Goes into weird places.
No, it was I think it's called Fireproof. And he was he's a firefighter that has the most noble profession. He has a porn addiction, but they don't they can't say that they can't say the word porn. Yeah or addiction Yeah, so what I have a problem, right?
That's exactly I have oh, it's so vague. It's killing me. I really don't even know what it is And he is like the way they get around and he's just spending all this time on the internet. That's what they say Oh, he's addicted to like flash games Like I'm on a dick dick in games.com 12 hours a day just imagine they're like he's got this internet.
He can't get off the internet He's just online all the time jerking off to Yahoo dot com. Just the home page. Yeah, checking out the latest news about like Leah Remini or something Yeah, she's probably got like a new cookbook that yahoo dot com's very excited about right? Yeah, that's when I go to the like the counselor or whatever She's like he won't get off the internet and like everybody just knows what it means So I think the therapist hands on the Bible which I think is against rules somewhere what therapists Oh just handing out they have to like ask you I went to a therapist once who's like do what do you think about God?
I'm like I think I'm leaving. Oh, oh lady You know you were dancing on my field, but you were and I'm so sorry. Goodbye. Yeah, so that's that's her camera guys And he's got nothing to do with this movie not even tangentially not.
Yeah, no, we were talking about Family ties family ties Michael Grossman also this movie stars Alexis our cat now Alexa star cat who I I rarely know what Alexa star cat looks like I have to really be like Wedding singer. Oh, yeah, that's I think that's the only thing I've ever seen her in well. You've also seen her in Pulp Fiction She this was before she transitioned into a woman and He's in the scene where John T. Voulton Sam Jackson bust up busting on him And he's the guy who comes out of the bathroom with the hand cannon.
No way. Oh, okay. Okay. All right That all the movement rose on our cat and Alexis our cat to our cats and that no kidding.
Yeah, well It's really trippy stuff, man. So Alexis our cat is our main villain also pre transition pre transition Which I didn't know who this was this actor. Yeah, um our villain Tony Reno Tony Reno Not even a hot shot enough to be like Tony Vegas yes, yes, yeah, you know Yeah, Hillary Swank. This is as Michael Gross's daughter.
Yeah, this is pre Boys Don't Cry. This is a great Kiss Post next karate kid, but pre boys don't cry. Mmm. So she doesn't and you can feel you can feel as you watch this She's really gearing up for that boys don't cry.
This is a hilarious like is playing a mentally challenged girl right in this Yeah, I don't know so no cuz we have our simple guy to Measure yeah, we'll get to him. Yeah, he's I think he's our town. He right like he's gotta be I was thinking either him or the priest for Towning profile. Okay, let's let's talk about that priest for a second.
Who is our king alum? Who he who he he he he that is William Morgan Shepherd. Yeah, Rob question about William Robert Morgan Shepherd. Yeah, you're Rob William Morgan Shepherd who he who he was he was also a priest in Needful Things was he he was the Catholic priest No kidding.
Yeah now for those of you who are new to the show maybe and haven't seen Needful Things There it's a movie much like the something wicked this way comes episode of Rick and Morty Yeah, where the devil opens up a shop and starts selling people sort of cursed objects But basically is just pitting the townspeople against each other in exchange for these things which they desire most There's a subplot which is like a little allegory for these like the Irish Civil War where a Catholic priest and a Protestant guy Yeah, Protestant sort of fella are like going at it and one of them lights the other one's church on fire Yeah, it's pretty heavy-duty stuff. Yeah, so but yeah, so he's our alum though Billy Billy Morgan Shepherd's back Yeah, welcome back Billy Morgan Shepherd. Just welcome me back to the show also in this movie Bo Jesse Christopher Bo Jesse Christopher jumping a big old truck over a small truck Well, those boys are adding Yeah, Bo Jesse Christopher was also in the original point break. He played grommet Good say no more.
Yep. Also in this movie Jan Brady Let me stop you right there and just say let's call us made a spade. Jan Brady from the very Brady movie is in this yes It turns out which class she's playing Jan Brady. Yeah, she can only do Jan Brady.
Oh Weird, I didn't know there was a George glass who went to our school. She's the best That is one of my favorite jokes in any movie just mispronouncing the word skill skill Also a brief cameo from Patrick Renee. Thank you Patty are you know him? You love him.
Yeah He's the fellow meatball redhead from like every sand lot. Yes, and a lot played ham. We was probably in heavyweights They might have been was he aged out by then? I don't know maybe he was definitely in the one of the vampire episodes of X-Files Yeah with the glowing green eyes.
Yeah, I remember that very vividly. I feel like that episode was on a lot Yeah, that one in particular. Yeah, but yeah, I think we all have the same reaction of being like oh hey It's him from the sand lot and then he's like ah Killing me smalls you're undeading me right smalls Bored are we playing a real diamond border? Pia flyers Girls can't throw um a contraption The rowing up on a machine on a machine for fun.
Yeah, that's what a music rides are when you have a corn when you have a corn So my tits when you that's that famous line from that movie, right? Yeah. Yeah, hey, buddy back going son of my tits credits And I'll never forget now it's standby me also and I'll never forget the last thing he said to me before he died Wendy Pefercorn suck my tits What is this movie about all right, let's talk about this movie now This movie the night. Oh, it's about research is gone.
I come back We only There it is there go the listeners off into the meadow we're challenging people to continue This is a real humdinger huh so far this up. Yeah, well, yeah, let's talk about the movie I guess we're kind of stalling because there's not a whole lot to this movie. We've been recording for about half an hour now Are you fucking serious? Yeah, well, we only have a minute.
Well, we only have about two hours to wrap this episode Well, they've been getting longer. I feel like we should try to nip that in the bud reset this week We're doing a bad job so far way off. Yeah Um, so okay, this movie so the bad greasers it did like the whole like crux of him Sorry, I'm done. No wait Rob just reached for a bottle of whiskey snatted up by the neck just a real strong grip on the thing here A little splash maybe just nip so yeah, all right, so the movie starts with an old woman dying She falls out she's reach for the band-aids that are out of reach.
Yeah Standing on a stool when she was positioned poorly far away from the band-aids like they did the demon moves the band-aids away so that she'll fall Yeah, did not need to she would have fallen anyway. Yeah, like imagine the highest shelf in your house That's where she kept the bed. Well, that's where I that's where I ought to keep the first aid. Yeah stuff Yeah, she's also like standing on a stool that's on a pile of books That's also mentioned why she needed the band-aids Which was that she was standing over the sink running water on a knife and just rubbing it with her hand Oh, yeah, like not really cleaning it.
Yeah, they're like no, we're not gonna see it in the shot Just pretend like you're cleaning a knife. Oh, it's also she's an old lady and she's like who am I washing this for? You know Doing that thing. Yeah, um, but she falls and she cracks her head real good on a little statue of a pig Yeah, a little pig.
There's pigs all over this house. Yeah, um live live big. That's right Um, so then we cut immediately to this therapist who's talking to a client who's got like irrational fear problems or some bullshit That scene is ridiculous because he's like our and my biggest fear is and then like Hillary swank Hillary yeah interruption also There's like nothing on his desk besides a picture of Hillary swank who hasn't been introduced yet in the movie and I looked at I was like Hillary swank on his desk. It was real weird, but then she bursts in and she's like Daddy Oh, do we not mention that Hillary swank is doing her very best speedy and zalas in this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, very fast Wait, that's that's that's uh, she got she got mark today. Um, so she said she tells michael gross that uh That her his mom is dead her grandma mom So also real quick though after she dies We like follow the trail of blood through the ground into into the mine into the mine, which is nowhere near so far The house right it's not because they're doing their little they're demon their devil worship thing like right at the mouth of the mind Like right at the entrance right? Yeah, you don't have to you can see the light. Yes from where they're standing right?
I thought yeah, I don't know you're right. No, you're right. No, I'm not. I'm just some who am I right?
I'm just some guy I'm not I'm not I don't make pictures. I'm not a director Making pictures pictures and like I don't know my talkies or movies Okay, so I just I want to get to this one scene real quick because this is this is really where the movie takes the weird The first weird turn all right is when so hiller swank and michael gross. They go to the his mom's house Um, they're like doing funeral stuff. Yeah, they're doing they go to the funeral.
It's all very cathartic There there's that thing which now I guess is a trope where like random towns people go to the funeral Which also happened in pet cemetery to yeah, like the funeral it starts with a funeral and um and to a lesser extent in What do we watch recently where I was I remarked on that old woman being like what a horrible death to the oh corn kids? Corn kids three same thing. Yeah people just showing up. Yeah, right people just showing up.
Yeah Yeah, so like these two young girls one of them being jan Brady and the other approach the other one being an actress named jennifer And have spin jennifer aspen jennifer aspen They approach hiller swank and they're like so sorry about your grandma and something real smiley, but they're so weird about it Like they coach her and I'm like I oh as if you were I'm like, oh, they're up to no good. They're up to so yeah Yeah, but then you find out as the movie goes on like everyone was just trying to make a different movie Yeah, everyone's playing his fucking weird. I didn't understand either why jennifer aspen would be as weird as jam Brady Yeah, because like she's supposed to be like the the the the the the the sexually active one She's the horny she's like the fun like the party girl. She's right.
She's like she's like She's pouring like little you know airplane bottles of booze into her sodies at the soty pop fountain Right and you think she has like some interpersonal skills. No, none at all. No, no Not right like jenn Brady is just a she's psychic right I have a question about that. All right, right So we are led to believe she is psychic because she she then approach she walks into like or they like knock on hiller swank store And they're like hey happy birthday.
It's your birthday, right? And uh, we can help you clean up whatever the pig's name is Hamilton i'll call him sure We can help him uh, we can help you clean up hamilton's mess and she's like wait, how'd you know with my birthday in that pig's name? And the other girl the horny one is like oh that's just to be clear. That is like that Yeah, just to be clear the horny one is jennifer Aspen yeah, oh yeah, and if you were wondering like oh man, she's so super horny.
Are we gonna get to see her tits? Yeah, we see both of them. We see both of them. Yeah, don't worry.
Yeah guys fucking calm down all right She really like I feel like no matter how horny a teenage boy is like he'd be like oh, what's wrong with her? Because like that scene where she's hooking up with uh bojessie bojessie bojessie hoos me She's like close your eyes. I have a special surprise for you. You know, it's like oh, yeah He's like it's gonna be one of three things so Where we don't be weird.
Yeah, it's like when a little kid's like hey guess what guess what I can I tell you a story I wish you wouldn't okay, and then he started flying and it real it was real. I saw it in the art and he's like oh god I'm a demon. I'm like at that point. Yeah.
He's like is this wrong Yeah, he was like they were making out and then she's like I have a surprise close your eyes And then he and then she pops off it was uh the surprise is jennifer aspens tits And then he's like oh, this is done now. Yeah, now you've you killed my boner. Yeah Now I have a surprise for you. I'm a demon.
I'm all rip you ears off. Oh, she's still wandering those woods. Yeah, like hello No, but everything's just very loud. It would be yeah, yeah, right because there's no no filter.
No filter. Yeah, so All right, so we're these weird friends. I don't know they like they just sort of inject themselves into hillary swanks alike Yeah, they're like hi. We're your friends for the sake of the plot.
Yeah, and she's like but like that's a thing That's like he is like very suggestible. She is open to anyone's She's always been dependent on the con as well, strong. This is why I think she might be mentally handicapped What could she do trusting? She well she's too trusting for one with the friends They go out to the fucking diner, right?
And this is the first time that they see Tony what's his name Tony Reno Tony Reno. He's the coolest guy in town Well, that's also a Satanist. Yeah, also dead. Yeah, so dead.
He okay. He was not dead for so long that people wouldn't probably working in that diner Yeah, I'd be like hey, hey, Tony, right? Forget it's fine. Forget it.
It's a sea man. The way he dresses is like it's a greaser But he's also it's also the mid 90s and everybody's wearing clothes a little bit too big Yeah, and that leather jacket that he's wearing is so big So big also the bowling shirt. He's wearing underneath. Yeah, and like greaser fashion is notoriously form-fitting Yeah, he's more rockabilly.
Yes. Yeah very much so Shout out to all the stray cats. Right. Yeah, all you stray cats are our fans just the stray cats Just the members of the stray cats.
Yeah. Oh, no, that's not yeah probably right. Setzer's got a stumbled on the seltzer I'm pretty sure it's set sir. I don't know.
I got that line backwards. He says Brian Setzer says no, it's Setzer and Homer Simpson says no, I'm pretty sure it's seltzer The rock and roll fantasy camp episode. I don't remember that's a later season It's okay There's an episode where Tom Petty teaches them how to write songs and they get mad because his lyrics are about like a woman who is concerned about the The state of public education. I mean like we want to rock he flips over his acoustic guitar and it's an electric You know, I forget it.
We shouldn't be even be doing that after episode nine. Yeah, the bit was building a something The bit where I described something that I saw on TV. That's what this whole show is though. Yeah, it's fine We talked about Kirk Cameron for quite a bit.
Mm-hmm. That was worth it. It's a rich mind to plum The like so when yeah, they're in the diner the horny girl is like holy shit look at that guy But he's got a huge fucking donger and then he sits down with them and he doesn't pay attention to horny girl at all Jan Brady is very like put off by him. She's getting bad vibes and Hilary Swank is like hey cool necklace It's a real cool necklace.
Wow And this is again why I think she's mentally handicapped. It's not an necklace No, but in her defense everyone thinks it's an necklace everyone in this movie is running around town calling it an necklace But are they doing that just to like a piece her like that's right, honey. Yeah, she's close It's close It's a pocket watch that Tony has around his neck You think this is like that movie with Julia Lewis and Giovanni Rubise the other sister? Yeah, that's right Yeah, you think it's that because we do have like a full-on simple guy this movie.
We do Steve Steve no, I'm over on it 730. She said that's more the long time Yeah, boy. There was like I forgot what he says. It's like I think it's the scene where he dies Yeah, he's like hey mr.
Greaser man. I was just like no, no, no dial it back son Yeah, that's gotta be like god people go into auditions and I'll be reading for the role of Steve When can you start you don't know when we're starting? So yeah, I don't know I don't know if she's mentally challenged because the way she talks to Steve I thought like she was just like humoring him. I don't know right just being like thank you because he is like man You're really pretty she's like oh, thanks It's hard to tell you're right the more I think about it.
I'm like there. There's also there's one shot That's I don't remember hold on. Let me try to figure out when it happens It's sort of like halfway through the movie like Michael Grossman is or gross is he's But he's like making phone calls or something like that Oh when he's like he's calling he's on the phone with the operator and just like Screaming yeah, but there's a it's like before after that He looks out the window and he'll reswank his outside playing with a garden hose And she's just like spraying the water up in the air and then like hosing down her feet with it Are you fucking kidding? Like she's kicking her feet up in the air and like spraying with it I don't remember that at all that that scene right there solidified it for yeah Yeah, like that like what's the cutoff?
So she's like a 72 IQ right? Yeah, she's like they're not sure. Yeah, they're just not sure She's she's just different. She's got a good heart.
Yeah. Um, yeah, but also real quick So the thing about jam Brady being psychic yeah, okay, right because they're in the diner and they're doing the tarot card game Right where before Tony gets it yeah where Hillary swank is holding up a card to her face and Jan is guessing doesn't um Jennifer and give her like a sign like are they cheating? Isn't it fake? Are they faking it?
I thought she like tugged her ear or something. Oh, maybe like that's the sign for the free of cups Oh, I didn't notice maybe I thought so but like but that's confusing them because she also is like Tony Tony Reno's bad news. Oh, he's a real man I accidentally said they don't have her you don't have to be psychic to know that Tony Reno is bad news Um, I keep wanting to call him Tony Orlando. It's hard not to Turn call him Tony Orlando.
Well, yeah, I was gonna say this is gonna be confusing for everyone But if anyone knows what's going on by the end of this we haven't done our job. Yeah, our job is to um destabilize people Shake them to the court. Um, Jennifer and spin another thing about um, Alexis our cat in this Uh, okay, she's a man at this point. Yes in in her life.
Um, his face is British 40 percent lower lip. Yeah, did you see that and the other 60 percent is upper row of teeth? Yeah, some big chompers huge chompers, so She's credit The one where the podcast collapses in on itself. Yeah, Snell Snell was from the beginning Yeah, I'm doing did you do that some middle-era stuff?
Right? Um, now we just have to whip out a Um, Alexis is credited as Alexis our cat, right? Which like it must have been early in the mid-generation Yeah, yeah, like between production and post-production. Yeah, so yeah interesting right interesting time because like I was before I realized that this was Alexis our cat.
I was like, wow, he's playing this demon kind of like Faye, I was like this is kind of insulting It's like it feels like this is sort of homophobic. I was like, oh never mind. I was dead rock because there's that moment also We're like, I don't know I guess I don't know like her sexual orientation, but there is that scene with tony reno and um Oh, Jesse. Oh, jesse chris of war.
Yeah after he comes out of the muck. Yeah, tony's like right in his face. Very charged Yeah, so it's like this is uh, they're coming to demons gay. Come on It's like this is way more complicated.
I can't even be good. I'm not smart enough to parse this out. Yeah, and yeah Just don't have to no it's uh, it's an interesting thing. Yeah, I think that you're merely absurd and uh not I'll discuss even one word further.
Yeah, that's fine for fear of being thought-piste Yeah, oh no, I don't want to get think-piece. That'd be good for the show good exposure No, no presses bad press. No press a bit. Yeah, because like people would listen they'd be like they didn't do anything wrong Yeah, that's like 90% of think pieces.
I end up like reading into I was like, oh no, you just you just took it out of context and then jerk Right, you're trying to start shit. They're our worst people than Bernie Sanders Oh boy, um So, okay, there's a scene when they're michael gross and hillers like they're cleaning out his mother's house That's like the sort of thing The general idea and he finds a pair of binoculars and he starts peeking out the window And then he has a flashback or first of several flashbacks, right to when him and his friend ham from zamat Yes, we're peeping on his sister and her friend. Yeah, we're having like a healthy body exploration time Yeah, they're they're in towels like to wear in like bottoms like underwear, but no tops Tits out and just sort of like smacking each other with towels. Yeah, right like you do right um And and this movie is let's just let's say it this movie is pro-insessed It doesn't have a problem with it.
Yeah, it is like acceptance by omission Yeah, sort of thing where that happens and then they explicitly state later on that they were doing exactly that because it's like there's no way I'm understanding this correctly. Yeah, and then moments later ham is like is that a name? Yeah, yeah That's his real human name. That's his uh, person name sannlod ham Uh is like yeah, I mean senior you've seen your sister's tits, right?
You ever seen her stepping? Is it bonking? Donking? Uh, I think it's boink boink.
So yeah, that is your boinking But that is not the dumbest made up word in this movie that do you have it written down? Oh, yeah, it's what they call tits Oh, yeah, it's remember that it's oh, yeah, canoobies. Yeah, Ben canooby Yeah, obie to canoobies Jesus Dun dun dun dun yeah, so can they're like they're they're watching the girls like fucking Tug around with their tits or whatever try to pull my nipples off. Yeah You do me Uh, and then michael groß's older sister.
This is right she's going out on a date with tony Yeah, tony pulls up with his two friends and she's like where those things like don't worry about it They're my two friends. They're my friends. Yeah, and then she's like well fucking dip them We're going on a fucking day. What are you doing?
This isn't we're going on a pleasure cruise. Yeah, this ain't a gangbang ticket It's a line from greese Talk about gang bans in greese. You know what else is a line from greese. Yeah.
Hey you fun goal. I'm sander day is it? Yeah, at the end of the song she goes hey you fun. Cool.
Oh, man. I'm sander D. That's the chipmunks Uh, I would welcome that if so wants to make that mashup and send it to me. I don't know if I'll play it on the show But I'll definitely enjoy it.
I'll practice my own home Yeah, I'll listen to it If you want to mashup christmas time is here and sander day for danny for christmas a good gift to get a good So season yeah if you guys want to send us gifts don't that's a waste of your money. Oh, don't though If you want to donate to our patreon. Oh, yeah, let's that's not a waste is this mid-roll. Is this a mid-roll ad guys?
We'll be right back Hey, everyone. This is Dan here from king me. Uh, listen, okay Listen, okay, listen, okay Okay, you know as you know the show comes to you for free Um, but there are still costs that we cover ourselves because we love making the show and we love doing it for you Yes, so if you want to help us cover those costs what you can do is go to our patreon page We'll have a link to that in the show notes. Donate as little as a dollar a month.
We're working on some premium content Yeah, I'm currently discussing possibly realizing our spin-off show wall-to-wall carpenter as premium content That would be a lot of fun. That would be good. Maybe we should do like we listen to a chapter of an audiobook A Stephen King audiobook that would be much easier than reading. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying Yeah, so maybe we'll do we'll have some premium content For sure, maybe we'll cook up some swag or something a little handwritten we'll take headshots so that we can send them to you Yeah, but yeah, if you will have the link to the patreon page in the show notes donate as literal as little as a dollar goes a long way Yeah, we would appreciate it really love it.
Um and back to the show Ben, you gotta we gotta take it again. Oh, all right Oh, sorry our Benny King out Scamp-scamp-scamp-scamp-scamp That's me walking up to the mic, right? I don't know why I bothered to say it. You could clearly see it here in the studio Welcome back to kingy.
I'm dang egg we already I'm robin. We're talking about sometimes I come in from 1996 If you're just tuning in yeah, if you jumped ahead halfway through So if you were like I hate this thing song and you overshot the runway Into the show some tits So they wait tits what tits the sister sits? Oh, so she goes she's like I don't want to be with you and your friends So he tells his friends to take a hike and then Uh young young Frank Grope gross Grope. Nope.
He wishes. He wishes. Yeah as a sister Um him and ham they go to like the old mine shaft Gropen ham Yeah, they do they go to an abandoned mine show. Yeah, it's sort of like the the make-out point of this town.
Yeah, which okay this part really Because I didn't know what was gonna happen here, right? It's sort of could have gone either way. There's a sound it Really rapey. Well, that's the thing.
Okay. So so Tony Reno, Reno, whatever. He's no Reno. They say it He tells his friends to take a hike.
She says like take a hike. She's not into it Um, so they leave. Oh friends. Classic misdirection.
Yeah, so what they're gonna do they the brother and this friend ham they go to the mine shaft or whatever and They're they see like the Tony Reno's car So they go they approach the car and they look in and nobody's in it and then he like comes out of nowhere And he's like hey, what are you kids doing? And he's like where's my sister and whatever and she you see her coming like walking out of holy shit I hair disheveled and like covering herself like her clothes had been like ripped off of her They hadn't been but there was a vibe to it. Yeah, very she was like out of sorts in a way That didn't seem fun because she was also playing it like super scared Yeah, and then she says she's like it's okay guys. Yeah, get out of here.
Right. Yeah, right. The whole thing was oh I did not care for it. No, it's that just that alone like the the implications are very upsetting and I'm sitting there And I'm like oh man, I'm waiting for the other two friends to like walk out of the mine You know like yeah, yeah flying that they were all in there kind of a thing.
Yeah, which did not happen Which I'm glad that didn't happen. That would have been like just That's just too much. Yeah So but like It's implied though that they were at least Tony Reno and heard were fucking in that mine, right? I think so.
That's that's the way it comes off. Yeah, which probably oh Michael gross must have been so cheesed. Oh, yeah He didn't get his dick. I don't want your guys a pig wearing a pig.
Yeah, I'm gonna call it a pig You're gonna call his little baby pig his little piglet. Yeah, his little pigly wiggly. Oh, no, that's his sister Uh, that's gross again. Can't stress enough this movie is pro incest And for those of you who don't know that's when you have sex with someone in your family This movie's in favor of that.
Yeah, um, you're gonna hit us and go ahead And Boy, I'm glad you had that. Um, that explanation So now when we did that last week and I do encourage you to go back and listen to all the episodes Um, but last week's episode we were talking about how it how clear it was that uh, job was doing a jim jim carrey impression You get some of that here with a lasso sarcad. Yes, uh, hundred percent some real fucking Yeah, a lot of this There's Okay, just real quick. They Young young Michael gross goes into the mind sees his sister chained up.
They're performing some sort of ritual Um, like a bloodletting they're drinking the blood. He says drink this and you live forever They stab her in the heart and they're gonna like yeah, he says take a bite out of her still beating heart Yeah, he says as much right. Yeah, and then something happens and they get they're standing in this puddle of blood And they all get electrocuted the three greasers, you know blood the most electress electric uh, yeah conductor. Yeah.
Yeah, there is in the world, right Um, so then yeah, they die right then they die Um, oh man, let's talk about that simple man. Let's talk about steve full steve steve Um, so steve is a simple lawn mower man riding a tricked out lawn mower made to look like this Hey fucking heard of it before yeah twice. Yeah, um, also I feel like because it was a ride on mower. It also crosses into like marty marty territory from silver bullet This trick out uh, wheelchair is this powered wheelchair?
That's right. Never not funny I mean if you're new to the show, I hardly encourage you to go back and listen to the silver bullet episode I wasn't drunk while we recorded that one. No sir. Not even a little I could have been yeah Uh, yeah, so steve he's a simple man.
He's a lawn mower man. Um, he He has like the sense also that tony reino's a bad guy And I think the reason probably that he says he has that sense is because he watches tony reino disappear into thin air Yeah, but he's also a simple man. He doesn't know his mind is playing tricks on him. Mm-hmm.
Um, so steve Okay, let's talk about his death scene because it happens pretty yeah He's the first one to go to revive one of the because it's also established by the psychotic priest who lives in a catacomb under the town yeah that Um, every time tony reino kills someone he can bring back one of his bros comes back. You know one of his boys. So he elects us our cat Lores little steve off of his off of the speed racer lawn mower and like and then I have nowhere He gets like vines vines of grass. Yeah vines of grass pull pull steve down all the way up into his Simple little neck down into the ground and there there is some goofy bullshit with elects our cat really hamming Really hamming up doing some fucking serious gem carry work.
Yeah, it's like it's so clear that the director was like Can you do like a gem carry thing and she was just like Yeah, whatever. Yes. Yeah Yeah, what then the lawn mower runs over steve's head right the lawnmower Which he has modded out so that they're big just like spinning blades on the front of it with no Cutting someone's head off. Yeah, that's really the only thing that Um, and then elects our cat says like a shot hair day.
Yeah. Oh, yeah Like almost right into the camera. Oh, no, then she picks up his severed hand Yeah, and our gender pronouns are getting confusing. Yeah, I'm gonna say he because it's the character Yeah, so he picked Tony Reno picks up steve severed hand and just goes need a hand like into the camera That's into the camera.
It was so bizarre. I was like, oh, they must be like pretending That's where steve was but steve's also dead right in his head would probably not be there at all Yeah, what's she talking to right not think what's he talking to if not the camera there right? She has like or he has Wow. Yeah, we really did ourselves in yeah This is like but rapid fire like one liners right there It's like it's three of them in a row and then like never again throughout the rest of the movie Right like it falls off after that one scene Yeah, which is disproportionately cartoony to the rest of the movie Yeah, uh, so steve dies and at this point his one of his buddies comes up through that puddle Yeah, blood and he's all who is it none all the they don't Bojack or wasman.
It is the cartoony and Bojack or was it yeah, he's like I'm depressed I'm clinically depressed. Hey, did you think this was a funny cartoon? Oh, no, no, no, no, you were so wrong Um, which I gotta say I kind of like that scene where the demon was emerging Oh, when you see like the face like yelling through the muck. Yeah, I did like that Yeah, it was good shit.
This is my shit. Oh fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and it's it's Bojack See like we said he's like in demon form at first Yeah, and then he sort of like they do this like that's the hammer thing They speed up the film and he's shaking around and we'll be able to be real handsome The hunk yeah with a tiny butt no one talk about that tiny, but where was his butt?
Can you get where with slimer? Yeah, I can Yeah, I want to talk about where his slimer was The part where the slime comes out of on the human body. It was nowhere to be seen but he had no ass I know I had some weird notes for this Some weird drawings for this Yeah, demon comes out of the ground period. Does he have a small butt?
He has a tiny butt. No when we say tiny, but it's not like narrow It's just like it's barely there. It's like it's like lower back straight into thigh Yeah, like like a like a butt crack. It's a low butt crack.
It's like high legs. Yeah, like it just goes straight from legs to waist And the butt crack is just what separates the legs. It's like a cartoon Just to give you an idea of how small his butt is we see the nub where his dick should be and we're still like wow, that's a tiny butt His butt's so small. It's smaller than the dick he doesn't have.
Yeah, that's crazy It's crazy and that's been where was bojack horseman slime hole Yeah, well, that was uh where was bojack horseman slime hole on day. We already brought the about and this has been king me steve No So, okay, so he's that demon is back. We already sort of talked about it. Uh the girl maria who She's our morning friend jennifer aspen jennifer aspen she she's gotten harassed by uh, uh, uh, Tony ureino and and then fucking bojise comes out of nowhere and he tells him to kick rocks and that's when they go make out and he's like Gotcha.
I'm also demon. I'm over two years off. Um, and then they They're like the next day Um, they're like somebody knocks on michael grosses door and it's like special delivery and the guy's like hiding his face and stuff Like don't move and he's like what a delivery from who he's like just saw him for the package Yeah, he's like well just tell me who the package is from he's just saw him for you ruining my bit And he whips off his hat and he's like I'm the third greaser. I'm the little boy who is hanging out with these two adults But yeah, it's weird.
They're not they are greasers. Yeah, like there's no mistaking that but they don't have a user haircuts No, this movie or cuts this movie did not have the budget for the past Yeah, like they didn't look like greasers and also poured one old car It's not gonna be nice. No, oh heavens. No, it's not gonna be a nice old car.
We can't put flames on it All right. We don't have flames. We just don't have flames in the budget. Yeah We used our whole flame budget on that flaming puddle Also, I do want to mention that um Michael gross's sister.