Path girl consistency is the name of the game here. I guess so. Consistency. That's what the perverted podcast listeners expect.
They expect consistency. You have a moderately stable life. I have a train wreck. That is consistency.
It's not a consistency that usually works in my favor, but it's a consistency, nonetheless. And damn it. It's a consistent train wreck. That's a consistent...
Like, I don't even have tracks. I just hear woo-woo all the time, and it's like people having a party. Nope, that's a train. Let's get into some shit.
The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it. But if you're curious, here we go.
One, two, three, four. Here you feel your six-loppiest quiet plane. A birdie podcast. Scared mature designers, let me stream.
A birdie podcast. Come and join our Kinky World of Play. The birdie podcast. That's the sound of the train wreck.
That's why we woo-hoo. Hello and welcome to Perverted Podcasts to show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky lifestyle, sex, and the human mind. Recording on Zencast, or trying to stay up to tracks, but obviously D-Relling, I'm Pathgirl. I am Count Boogie, and Pathgirl.
Oh boy, yes Boogie. I know what testicles feel like. I don't even have to reach down. I am exposed right now to testicle.
This is... If my life was going to be a movie right now, it would be like, testicle, the Count Boogie story, based on actual events. Testicle. Well, because it's like 90 degrees, and it's humid, and I'm sitting in the car because we have to record the show.
And it's just that... I hate sweat, and so I, of course, hate my balls sweating. But it's just now I feel like the testicle. No.
I feel like a humid testicle inside of shorts with underwear that's too tight. That's the feeling that it is in the San Fernando Valley right now. Testicle. Could have recorded later.
No, wouldn't have mattered by the time it would have gotten not testicle. It would have been like three in the morning for you. Well, I get up at 4.30, so... By the time that it would have been more like moist, taint.
Ah! It would have just been too late for you. But how are you doing? I'm doing okay compared to you, I guess.
Well, you were having a joy poopy time yesterday. It wasn't a poopy time, my stomach was really killing me. I don't know, I just ate, I don't know if I had to touch food poisoning, or my wonderful disorder, no one was kicking up, and it's just I felt like absolute crap, and I texted you at five o'clock. I'm like, can we record tomorrow?
I'm like, get a girl back and say it. I'm like, ah! God damn it, I almost wish we had recorded last night. I'm sorry, I never cancel on you.
Well, no, you don't cancel on me. And of course it was good. It was just the fact that you canceled meant that I was someplace that an incident occurred. And nothing to take blame for, because that's just the lottery of life.
Hey, you know what, Path Girl? Everything, every day, every time we drive our car, every move we make, every breath retake, I'll be watching you, Path Girl. I am a stalker, I'm sorry, I just went into it, old police son. But it's so amazing how random, like if you would have just been just this far, like if the asteroid 65 million years ago that hit the Yucatan Peninsula, and basically wiped out the dinosaurs giving way for humans to evolve to this magical life that we have now, in testicle, the Count Boogie movie, if that planet, if that fucking thing would have been off by a quarter inch, a trillion miles away, we'd all still be possums and dinosaurs would still be eating us.
So it's random. You can never, you can never underestimate how many millions of random lotteries there are every day of your life. Like sometimes you don't even know, you don't even know if you're looking one way driving on the freeway and the guy or girl coming the other way just kind of checks their cell phone and you don't even see that they were coming into your lane and then they just magically looked up and said, oh, I shouldn't be there. And that would have been the end of your life.
Yeah. You know, there's so many things. And that I think overwhelmingly leads me to the fact that it is so good to take some time in your life and explore your kinks and sexuality. Because you never fucking know when a dinosaur killing meteor is going to fuck up your world.
So you might as well spank some asses. Fingers and buttholes. Do some stuff. Get some rope.
Learn some things. Experiment. Do your life because it's also so very, very random. And it's just sometimes I get really existential, but it's not like a it doesn't lead to a bad thing.
You know, usually when you're like, oh, good diet, any second shot of your fucking emo bitch. Or you could say, wow, I have this freak chance of a life. I could really do things that I always dreamed of. And like you could literally just change that point of view right now.
And I've been doing that this year with like songwriting and some of the things I really been challenging myself. And I know songwriting isn't kinky, but to me, it is pain and suffering. Sometimes when you're writing, there is anguish and I'm in a story that's fucking crazy. And I get all emotional and sex.
That's the only time I allow myself to feel legitimate emotions is when I'm writing from the point of view. I mean, it's very dysfunctional. I write from the point of view of these other characters. And then I allow my emotions to come out that I stuff down to heart attack level now.
But but do something different. You know, I'm so glad that the perverted podcast audience is here and exploring this with us. And just seeing the things that we're seeing, because you just absolutely never know. Did you have any exploration since we last talked?
I don't think I've had any exploration. I have a play party coming up on Saturday and Donnes and I are going to be going there. And actually, I'll be getting some belated birthday spanking I should have gotten last month. So that'll be cool.
So it's kind of like our whole kinky tribe takes turns spanking the person who has the birthday. So I was just going to ask if this is a spanking bang. Pretty much. Yeah, probably be at least six other people there besides me and Donnes and I'm getting knocked off and then like probably four other people.
But yeah, usually the person is getting spanked lays out a bunch of toys and basically says, this is what you could use and this is other things you can do. And anybody who feels comfortable going up and spanking that person can go spank them. If not, you know, right. So now let me ask you a question.
Sure. Let me ask a question for all the perverted podcast listeners. I'm asking this with you. When you're doing that and you know, multiple people are going to touch you and multiple people that you're not like I know, Doc and Cat, you know, you have a thing with and you've known them for a long time.
You've developed that. And then of course, Donnes, you're in a relationship with. So of course, yeah, you know, there's a thing when he touches you. But when like kind of random strangers are grabbing and slapping on your ass, what does that?
How do you compartmentalize that in your head? Well, I mean, in this instance, it's not really going to be strangers. It's part of part of our cranky tribes. So probably like, you know, there's about 12 of us in the tribe and I'll probably be at least eight people there.
But with that, in that sense, I want to have a problem with it because I know everybody there. But I have had instances in the past other times where I've gone to like when I was in my Swinger Life's Office, like they used to do the birthday dances and like, you know, you'd go on a chair and like anyone would be a free for all can come up and dance on you. And it would just be like, of course, my friends would go up and dance on me. But then there'd be the occasional guy or girl who I absolutely did not know who be groping on me and stuff.
And I'd be like, okay, this is, you know, this is what I asked for. Right. Right. So you have to kind of work through that.
Yeah. Yeah. And obviously if I got to the point where it's extremely uncomfortable, I would just say, hey, back off or I had to say for that I used to use even once in the Swinger Life style, where it'd be basically like I'd say my son's name and go, hey, we're so and so. And then my friends would be noted like, okay, get this person off of me.
Right. Right. Right. Right.
So when you're playing with like people and like, you know them and there's say like four or five other people, do you have a connection? Do you are you able to let go and experience the spanking or is it more laughy fun demo-y? It's more laughy fun thing for the birthdays, you know, because especially like it's people that I normally never play with that I've seen them do scenes and stuff and we're really good friends. But it's just like, you know, there's there's two or three guys who have literally never put their hand on their ass and they may be putting their hands on my ass and it's just be like, okay.
So, okay. So there is a certain amount of like, I don't know, apprehension maybe with new people talking. Yeah. Yeah.
And then it may be like, oh, I kind of like that. I may have to negotiate something a little bit later down the road. Yeah. Oh, hey, you know, it is my birthday.
Brofinger on your birthday should be brofinger. All of a sudden that would be so fucking awesome. If like on the next show, you're like, hey, um, so, uh, didn't think this would happen, but I consented to a nine person gang bang and uh, No, that would not happen. No, we're not that kind of group.
Damn it. We have friends of ours who are the swingers, but not not the really close group, the close group. I mean, you know, we've all seen each other in various stages of undress and watched each other's scenes, but it's just no, nothing sexual has ever happened between any of us. All right.
You know, I'm just putting out my hopes and fantasies because I am the king now. I think I'm clocking in in the last couple of years. I'm clocking in. I think I hit a dozen and that is a dozen women that I like that have had some sort of crush on me or liked me or would tolerate brofinger from me, but they just live over, it's always over a thousand kilometers away.
It's my thousand kilometer attraction curse. Like if I wanted to, if I could travel a thousand plus kilometers, I would have stories every week, every week for the show and uh, and but it just always winds up being somebody over a thousand kilometers away. And that was no different this week. Somebody that I didn't even know, like somebody I've known since we both kind of gone in the lifestyle at the same time and they were with somebody at the time and I just shut off completely.
I'm like, bro buddy, but she was very pretty. She just carried herself super well. I, there's a certain type of woman. I mean, I love all, I love women.
So all types I love, but there's a certain demeanor. I don't know if demure is the correct word, but they kind of hold themselves in like this certain way that just I'm like in a very calm academic voice, I'm like, I am very attracted to this personality. This person is somebody that I like and they were very pretty in whatever, but then of course they broke up with their whoever they were with at the time. And then, you know, we go away and go and they were always very nice to me.
And when they do come in town, they're, they're very, you know, we have nice conversations or at least very pleasant conversations short. And, and I just randomly found her profile after a long time of not seeing her. And I, I am the king of like, well, you're probably not going to see this because I've been active in six months, but I'll just send a letter. And, and I mentioned in that letter, hey, I've always thought really highly of you.
I think you're real cool. And, and I've always had kind of a little crush on you and, and whatever. And literally like 10 minutes later, she's like, what are you talking about? I always had a crush on you.
Oh, no. And you're like, unrequited love fucking, you know, losing my religion. REM is playing in the background and, you know, because that songs about unrequited love if you listen closely to it. It's not about losing a religion there.
I'm being a snob because I watch a lot of YouTube videos of fucking documentaries where they talk about things. I mean, anyway, so yeah, so unrequited love. And I'm like, oh, and where are you staying now? And they're like 6000 kilometers away.
And you're like fucking fucking. Fuck. Testical, the story of Calpugi. Testical and unrequited love story.
And then, and now brought to a jockstrap near you. A steamy jockstrap near you. I'm sorry. Well, you know what?
For very depart gas at gmail.com. If you want to help support Boogie with your extra freak of fire miles to get to the 6000 kilometer. Jesus Christ. That life is the place.
The genital soldier in subspace. We share our kinky thrills. Herbeats from around the world. Yeah.
But if our gas talking about that life motherfucker. For your peace of mind, please know that the author of every post we talk about on the show has specifically granted us permission to do so. We're actually going to do something we haven't done a long time. We're going to do a two-fer from fat life.
And shout out to Enigma again once again for finding these. And if you ever find a post on fat life that you'd like for us to discuss in the show, just put an act perverted podcast in the comments and then we can take a look at it. Both of these are from the lovely Spanish red. She is one of our people who's giving us blanket consent for all of her posts.
So the first one I could find her vagina. Oh, I hope so. I could find it. She's often in Antarctica somewhere.
No, she is. She's over 6000 kilometers too. Yeah, yeah. But unlike all the others, I don't think she wants me.
I'm pretty sure. Pretty sure. Because we talk this type of shit every single show. And she's never made a comment.
I don't think she listens. Whatever. Her fucking loss. Exactly.
Because she's missing out in the love god damn it. That's right. I'm not dominating anymore. I'm just a pathetic.
You're beyond help. We know that for years. We still love you. Fine.
All right. The first one is called should you share your real name at kink events opposed to noobs. In my early years of fat life, a member of a local community was denied access to his children after his ex-wife outed him as a BDSM practitioner. This is not the kind of story you want to hear when you're planning your first orgy.
But it should be the first thing you ever consider when you become active in the kink scene. You only have to share it your identity once. And after that, you never shed it. There's a reason why we handle this all differently.
If someone outed me, for example, nothing would come of it. So I play the identity game more loosely than most. That's not because I'm better and greater than you. But because my risks are negligible.
Every life is different. Every risk profile is different. You're the only person who gets the side how much risk you expose yourself to. My privacy needs are not your privacy needs.
And that's okay. The kink scene will teach you a lot about consent. We don't want you to do anything without finding out all the risks. That doesn't mean you have to avoid all the risky activities.
It means that we want you to make an educated decision and the same applies here. Assess your risk, make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. And don't let anyone divert you from your chosen path. Here, here, here, here so much to consider.
And of course, we are, this is a BDSM kink lifestyle 101 crash course right here. And we have talked about this. We haven't revisited this in a while. So for our new perverted podcast listeners that maybe you're considering venturing into the kink lifestyle, going to a club event, going to a party, going to a munch, going to a class, going to a workshop, any of these things.
It doesn't matter. The basic rule is the same. And we're going to talk about that. But going into this event, always come up with a different name.
Do not give your personal information to anybody. Now then, now that I will say, I'm just going to jump right into it. Sometimes there is some confusion on this because there is two different scenarios. There are two different scenarios that people confuse.
And sometimes people who mean to harm you are going to use this technique to get into your world unchecked. If you are going to a party dungeon class something, absolutely, you should keep your private information eternally private. Absolutely. That is the message we have.
That's what you hear all over the place. However, if you are going to get into a relationship with somebody, or if you're going to start playing with somebody, then it is absolutely also okay to require some sort of information from this person. So you can know that they are not secretly a serial killer with a long police record. That is absolutely okay.
They can say no. And then you can choose to not play with them. Or you can wait until you get to know them in the lifestyle and watch them play it. And not get any personal information from them or understand.
But if you are going to be in a relationship with somebody, especially if it's going to get to any level of seriousness, I don't think it is absolutely not irresponsible or unethical to get some information on that person. That being said, just like in anything that can be used against you. Yeah. And I've seen it firsthand several times get held against people in custody battles, in divorces.
I mean, short case in point when our poly quad broke up years ago and I went with my ex-poly wife to a divorce lawyer to help her start getting divorced from her legal husband, we had to educate the lawyer on polyamory and the swinging lifestyle and whatever. And this even before we got into kink and long story short, the lawyer is like, you need to understand in the county we live in every single lawyer, every single judges in the court room is a Baptist minister or the wife of a Baptist minister. Right. And you're going to look at, they don't care everything was open and consensual and everything was known about.
You're cheating on him and she's cheating on you. And it's just it was a whole actual mess. The lawyer is like, don't even bring it up. Yeah.
So it's and you also have to be careful on this is I am the first to actually do this and I have to kick myself over to my do it. I have a very bunch, you know, I have kink friends that I know by their fat life names and I have kink friends about I know their vanilla names because we either do vanilla stuff together or I've seen them outside and they'll say, hey, outside of an event, my name is blank. Right. And I'll immediately go into an event and I'll go to somebody and I'll go, hey, I'll start to say the vanilla name and I'm like, oh, hey, so and so, you know, it's just and I'm sitting around here and do somebody to them.
I'm like, hey, this is, you know, this is Donnes, Donnes, this is I forgot your friend's life name because I like her members of an alanee. Right. And once again, these are things that it's not always malicious that someone's going to use your information against you. And it's also not always malicious that somebody's going to ask information because in the non kinky world, those are normal questions.
So what's your name? Where do you work? What type of, you know, blah, blah, blah, personal information. And that's in the non kink world.
That's very normal party, you know, barbecue conversation. Exactly. So it's okay if you hear that and then just it's your job to stand up for yourself and go, I keep all that stuff private. But here's what I like in the kink world.
Here's what I here's what I explore here. And that's fine to keep that. So it's kind of a balanced speech because some people get really pissy and they're like, oh my god, they asked me where I worked. And it's like, well, were they doing like malicious or like, you know, whatever, just say, hey, this private, which I've had to do or remind my partners of because I don't give a shit.
But it's definitely it's a dance and ultimately the other thing I wanted to point out real quick is the person you are today that's very open may not be the person that you are in 10 years. Oh, definitely. There are a lot of people and I when we had the love lab, I would say, are you sure you're okay with your voice, your this, your that, your whatever. And most I would always convince like, Mew is not Mew's name and bunny is not fucking bunny's name.
Everyone had code names and everyone kind of, you know, had their own thing. And then there was some people are like, no, it's totally cool. Everything's cool. I'm cool.
And I'm like, yeah, you're cool today at 25. But what happens when all of a sudden at 35, you know, you went, you got a master's degree and now you want to do something political or you want to, you know, you can't just always assume that you're always going to be wild and free there may be or it may just be a thing. And I literally, I haven't talked about this. And there's been enough people on the show that that I don't feel like I'm risking anyone's information.
But I've had those calls. I've had those emails. Hey, can you take down that picture of me or that video? You know, and I, you know, the rule is I always told everyone, no matter what you do, I ain't taken down a show.
That's audio first off. They didn't see your face or whatever. But if something in you has changed, and a lot of times people get in a relationship and then the other partner in the relationship is like, well, I feel really uncomfortable knowing that your orgasm is floating out there, whatever, which they're all these are all reasonable things that do happen. You know, I'm not faulting someone or somebody somehow changes their mind and decides that for whatever reason, their sexual exploration was a mistake and that they shouldn't have done this and that can keep people are bad and that they're bad for doing it.
And they go, maybe they become religious. They, you know, or they feel a lot of pressure from their family because, you know, it's just caused hassle. So now it's a negative and and from my point of view is I'm still very proud of my sexuality and I am still dedicated to the fact that what we do when we try to do it ethically is a positive thing. And so just because you now look at that as negative doesn't mean I'm going to join you on that.
You want to look at it as negative. You can. You absolutely can. But I ain't taken down the damn show.
So and it's just that goes in general. I mean, like, colleges are now looking at, you know, people's Facebook, social profiles and jobs are looking at it too. I mean, even on my social media, I am friends with several of my co-workers on social media, but I do not list where I work. But alone, I am only out to one or two people that I work with.
Thankfully, I'm out my ex-husband knows I go to the show and so does his fiancee and obviously Don is knows I do it. But I'm thankful that I don't have anything delicious in my life. But I do have one or two people that in my past, I've had to keep an eye on and I have some dirt on them. So if that way, if anything were to come out, well, hell, half an elf, you really like a path girl, scorned.
Sure. But it's a reminder for everyone that, especially the kink scene seems to go in cycles. We hear it all the time where somebody steps away for a year or two because of personal reasons or whatever and they come back and go, oh my God, these are all new faces. I don't know who these people are.
It's always a nice profession to basically be like, number one, don't push people for information if they feel like I'm comfortable giving it. And number two, you may want to practice a couple of answers that if somebody asks you, what do you do for a living? What do you like to do for fun? You know what I mean?
Like if people ask me and they don't know me, I work in a laboratory. I'm a medical professional. I don't give my specifics of I'm a pathologist assistant. I know there's like around 2000 of us in the US, you know, but I mean to some people, I will say I'm a pathologist assistant and people get interested in it.
But again, there's enough people in my community that I can hide myself pretty well. I am a professional tiger poo sculptor. I did not know what that about you. That is what I do.
I go to India and I follow Bengal tigers around with those those, you know, little slightly oversized doggy park baggies that you're supposed to. And when the 400 pound tiger looks back at me when it's taken a dump, I just go shh. Rar, I'm not here. Go back to your poo because I'm going to sculpt, you know, like, you know, fruit baskets and you know, they poop a lot.
I'm just trying to come up with an answer. Okay. Well, no, you can come up with a better answer with like I do musical jingles or, you know, I'm a musician and I do various things about music. Get into habit of just three or four questions that if you were going on a first date with somebody, the questions you only would get asked, make up some answers for that.
And that in that way, if somebody's like, Barraging with questions and I might be like, I don't give up that much information to people. I just start talking with them. If you have a problem, then go grab a DM or a mentor organizer and let them say, Hi, this is supposed to be more of an anonymity event. So it's more fun to be a tiger poo sculptor.
Well, that's true. Just saying. Because that also like lets people know, Oh, I'm not going to get a straight answer from this person. Unless I was, I mean, you don't know.
I mean, there's animal San Francisco, animal art guy. What? Wait, what? I think he was in the 90s or 2000s.
I remember somebody that was painting with their own crap on canvases. No, no, this was an enema that was so close, but no, it was paint. No, there was a guy, I think I'm pretty sure he was of the the liking things up his butt. And the reason I say that is because he would enema large amounts of paint into his ass and then sit on the edge of a giant canvas and squirt it onto the canvas and then repeat while the different colors and tragically, people paid thousands of dollars for this art.
I've spent 40 years of my life learning how to make music and I did not realize that I could make more money if I just shit paint onto a canvas. You know what? The people who bought those paintings need to be shot because it's just like, like you're encouraging. You are encouraging.
I'm telling them. I'm telling they're encouraging by buying that art. You are encouraging bad. Don't do that.
No. No. I mean, you can do it. You know, sure, that's your cake.
We do all sorts of crazy things, but don't pay someone thousands of dollars for paint poo part. Don't do it. I know. Because it's dilutes.
Yeah, it's at least the real art. Someone that took time. Now then if the guy created himself as like a human 3D printer and like had someone rig him up in a way and then actually had a computer and move his harness in certain directions and he could make a picture like here's an elephant from my paint poop enema. Like that, I'd be like that took some work.
Okay, but not just sit at the edge of the canvas and go here's what I feel today. These are the days I wish we had a video feed with us because I'm just sitting here with my mouth opening listening to this going, I can't even think of a response. For a word about guys at gmail.com, do you think paint poop enema guy should get thousands of dollars? Well, I get paid 0.0 fucking two cents a download for songs I worked 40 years on for a book as gmail.com.
They're going to go shut up and stop being a bitch be grateful for your 0.002 cents. So keep your stuff private. Wow, you you you not only went off the rails, you just went off the cliff and just took the cliff collapse the cliff put some seismic activity back in the town shockwave that out into the ocean about 10 miles per minute tsunami came back and fucked up the town. Yeah, that was Lisbon.
That was the that was a Lisbon level derailing there. Yeah, pretty much. Tiger poop scalper. Celebrate your badge because it rocks put a needle in your cock-gone fed life.
But wait folks, there's more. There's more if that's derailing wasn't good enough for you. We have yet another post from the lovely Spanish red that is titled Every Kinky Single Person Gets A Last Hurrah After They Die. Every non-cohabitating kinks there gets that one final hurrah after death.
The moment when mom and grandma call it clear on our homes with all the sex toys shelves and hidden spanking benches. That's when the shine sweet natured Bianca turns into a flogger wielding stiletto wearing trombone tricks and boyfriends for kicks. It's in your future dear. If you live alone, it will happen to you.
Oh my god, your friends will say she was a parvert. Who the fuck it? If I was a cool cat, I'd use this paragraph to say I don't care because I'll be dead. Besides, I take pleasure in their shock, but I'm not a cool cat.
I'm an irrational human with an inner 13 year old begging for that to come out. It's all bullshit, of course. I keep my kink identity zipped up in bags though sometimes it's something to be ashamed about. Shame usually dies on exposure.
I say it all the time, but sometimes my favorite idiom isn't true. Sometimes shame grows on exposure. It grows on acceptance. Sorry.
It grows because acceptance can't achieve a damn thing until you accept yourself. It grows because you can't have a successful relationship with others until you have a successful relationship with yourself. I wasn't raised to be ashamed of my sexuality. My grandmother would have relished a job of cleaning out my sex toys.
She would have congratulated me for them. I want to be her like one day. I swear it. I'm still building my best self, but do you know what?
She had to build her best self too. I like this one. BAM. You know, being a single person or someone who's not in a relationship or whatever.
I mean, you know, checkpoint, we all die. And what happens to all of our kinky stuff and everything kinky about us? What's not even that? I mean, you could get in an accident or, you know, I mean, we're picking all the fun stuff.
But you could get crippled in an accident. That tiger poop could come out and light on fire. And now you're disabled with broken tiger poop feet. What?
No. But I'm there's a number of ways that you can be outed or it even goes back to the other topic where it's an accidental or malicious outing where everyone finds out who and what you are. And I love how she ended it because halfway through reading it, I was like, this is very similar to kind of like what we talked about. I think it was on the last show about the guy that likes things in his butt.
And where's women's negligee? Yeah. That it comes to that similar theme of like, why are you so paranoid about something like this? Why are you so paranica and Spanish red really brought it home with it comes down to your self acceptance and how you view yourself.
And kink shaming yourself is so real for so many people that are exploring their kinks. It's a very real thing. We've seen it tons of times. We've seen people come in and be elated.
Excuse me. And then just the fact that they're so elated from having their great kinky experience that they've always dreamed of but never done that guilt and shame instantly consumes them. No one's even said anything to them. And then they leave because they feel they hear all those voices and all that guilt.
And so it's basically the imaginary death where somebody has now found out because now there's proof. Now you've actually done it before it was just a secret fantasy. But now you have actually stepped into this world and actually done these things. And there is such a horrible experience of people shaming themselves without anybody doing it for them.
And so that's why I really love this topic that we get to talk about this. Yeah. And it's a reality check for all of us. I mean, but if you think about everyone in some way or form has probably had to deal with a friend, a family member, a co-worker that has died and finding out stuff you never knew about that person.
You know, grandma dies and you go to clear out her house and she's got a vibrator in her drawer. You know, grandpa, you know, I had to go out to his tool shed, which thinks you'd be all tools. And it's all porn magazines. I mean, it's just there are things that even when I was growing up, I remember like I discovered my dad's porn stash of like videos and magazines and I was like, well, crap, my dad watches porn.
And then like the realization of, well, of course, my dad watches porn. He's a guy. Guys normally do that. Even women do it too.
But it's just like, what's the big deal? You know, okay, you may chuckle about it. If you pull out grandpa's, you know, Viagra subscription and throw it away or whatever. But it's just like people do things behind closed doors.
You may not know about just like you do behind closed doors and you don't want people to know about it. So you need to learn how to accept yourself. And yeah, someone's probably gonna clear up my apartment. If I drop that tomorrow and find my bag of toys, big fucking deal.
I think it comes down and I've done this with people who've gone through this self-kink shaming kind of conundrum. And it really is about making that list. Why is this bad? And this comes down to like that CBT cognitive behavioral therapy kind of thing where you have to go find what is the core belief?
Is this a shame that I'm hearing this from some sort of religious upbringing or apparent or whatever? Or am I legitimately afraid how this is going to affect my how I have relationships now? Am I ruined for life? I've heard that one a lot of times, you know, I'll never be able to be in a normal relationship again because I see how awesome this is.
And which is a real thing. There's people that have gone off and tried to be in non-kink relationships. And they last a few years and then they come back and they're like, couldn't do it. Just couldn't fucking do it.
Yeah. And these are all real things. But ultimately, if you can try to sit down and go, where is this voice coming from? Is this a voice of logic?
Is this a voice of fear? Is this a voice of I had a view of myself as maybe being pure and moral and upright. And now even though these things turn me on and I want to do them, I feel like I'm now some of the people which I had to deal with. Maybe people in the past that I used to judge for now being depraved or immoral or whatever it was.
Now I've become that thing that I swore that I wasn't, but I actually am. So there's an entire process of dismantling that shame. Because ultimately, because like, Path girl, you and I could tell this listener, if they're listening right now, up and down, you're okay. It's okay.
Whatever. Your fantasies are primal based. They're based in millions of years of evolution and you have desires because your brain slightly chemicalized this way or that way. And you have to just accept that you're going to be turned on by other things, maybe weird smells or this or you want to wear a dress or you want to, you know, take blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
But as long as it's in your head, and then however it manifests yourself, you do it ethically with consent and you do risk aware with your partners and things like that, then that's how it comes out in a positive way. But you have to deal with the fact that you have a primal mind. And some of the things I see in my head are absolutely not okay. Yeah.
And I had to deal with, I've had to deal with. I don't want to be that person. I hate people that do that for real. But these thoughts and feelings are in my mind and they're depraved and they're not cool.
They're not cool in the real world. In a fantasy, okay, I'm going to keep an eye on that one. But okay, I'm not a bad person because I think things, you're a bad person if you do bad things. Right.
Again, we've talked about it many times where it's basically you can have ideas in your head that are absolutely completely fucked up. But if they stay in your head and they're not being executed, and especially if they're not being executed on people that are completely non-consensual, that's perfectly fine. If you'd like to explore those things in a consensual way of what a consenting is all great. But just because you think fucked up things as a meaner personally fucked up with this with the post, I mean, like you said, there are people in my life who are like, oh my God, they could never find out.
This for people who are single or people not in a relationship. This might be something where you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are as a candy person. That being said, if there is absolutely, positively something that you don't want your family or friends or whatever to find out, you could have a trusted king person, like someone very trusted, you've known for many years or even a family friend that basically goes, look, in case something ever happens to me, here's an envelope with my that like profile name, the lead it, here's where my king bag of king stuff is, please remember my house. And I have had one or two people that is just basically like, you know what, if anything ever happens to me, my wife knows get rid of this before the house gets cleared or my girlfriend knows get rid of this before the house gets cleared out.
And that may be that little bit of calming factor to let somebody continue to be kinky, but have that safety valve of, oh crap, if something really happens, I know my personality and my past is going to be protected in that way. You know what I mean? Sure. And once again, if you're somebody that thinks backwards, then you that that's something that you should investigate doing, I'm with Spanish Red.
Once I'm dead, I'm not going to care what anybody finds out because I'll be busy, you know, being dead. I got to find the bowling pin. I found Larry's bowling pin. And I knew it existed because he was very proud of when he was a younger gay man.
He, he was able to take the smaller end of that bowling pin up his ass. And then he died. And I was in charge of cleaning his house. And I found there it is.
That's it. There's no, like, it's not like people just collect fucking bowling pins. And maybe it's not that one. Maybe it's not that one.
Maybe it's not that one. And I'm like, here we are. This is the part of Larry. I knew this was I knew I was going to find this.
And here it is. I almost took a picture of it in honor of Larry, but but I don't know. Like you said, you're you may be responsible one day for clearing out your parents house, another family friend's house. And it's just you're gonna find stuff that I'd be like, wow, I never knew Aunt Jane was into, you know, double ended doodos.
Well, good for Aunt Jane. You can only hope. You can only hope. You motherfucker, you acted prude all these years.
I fucking knew you weren't fooling anybody. Not a single person. But other than other than that, it really does come down to it is okay to have these conversations with yourself to make peace with what your desires are and inevitably your sexuality and how you want to proceed with that. And if you have a lot of shame and you're still performing kinky activities, but you still have a lot of shame and guilt about it, I hate to break this to you.
But that's going to affect the people you play within your relationships in kink. Because there's going to be a level of secrecy in authenticity and maybe judgment and resentment of the person you're playing with because they're doing the same thing that you're doing. And that's not going to be an authentic situation, is it? If secretly you resent your play partner because you resent yourself for being kinky.
So inevitably do what you got to do, but it's a much happier existence exploring yourself if you can make peace with it and let go of some of those voices from the past. Because ultimately, if there's anyone in my life that doesn't accept me for being kinky, do they really have any value anyway? No. Do they even know me like they don't even like me?
They just like some version of me that's not even real. They don't even like the real me. They're going to judge the real me. So fuck them.
Buck and drop my tiger poop right there. There you go. And thank you again to Spanish Red for being one of our blanket contributors. And again, if you find any posts you'd like to first discuss in the show, give us an at converter podcast in the comments.
And that is the end of show 383. Thank you for joining us. If you have questions, comments or topics you'd like us to cover, please reach out to us at converter podcast at gmail.com or find us on TikTok and Instagram under the name of our podcast. And on FETLife, there's both a group and a page.
You could support us for free for hitting the like or subscribe button and whether app you're listening to us on, it really does help us to get promoted in the podcast forums and help other kinksers like you find us. And as a reminder, we discussed in the last show, but I'm going to say it again, the Stitcher app is going away as of the end of August. So we are not sure if any adult content providers are going to be carried on to the new app. So make sure you download either iTunes, SoundCloud or Pod Bean, run all three of those fourth free so you can get the new listening to us.
And then if you'd like to help us a little bit more to help us, please go to patreon.com slash converter podcast and sign up for our five bucks to give up levels to get the future of the shows a few days early, lots behind the scenes stuff and our half of PP shows which are rolling around the world. And as always, love and so she kisses and no tiger poop to our patrons. We love you so much. By the way, Palco, you want to know something about Tiger poop?
I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you something else about Tiger poop. It was used for a while. I don't know if it still works. I think they train the dogs around them, but drug smugglers would smear Tiger poop on the bumpers of the cars they were smuggling because dogs don't want to be near tigers because tigers would eat dogs.
So I don't know if it actually works, but I heard about it. Don't ask me where. But I did hear that that was something that was done and then the dogs would go up and they'd be like, no, nothing here. Let's get the fuck out of here.
I don't want you to open that trunk and the tiger is going to jump out and eat me. Dogs don't really, you know, they don't think they just smell and think when they smell. So let's not, there is a practical application of Tiger poop to bumpers. If you're smuggling large quantities of narcotics, the quas the border.
Aquas, fucking equosse, whatever. But that is our show. I'm, yeah, fuck the rails. Fuck the rails, man.
Fuck out of here. If you have a room somewhere outside of the heat, pervertabigads.gmail.com. I will limp my car to you and I can, if you have a vagina, you'd like to donate. If you have a vagina, you'd like to donate.
I know that's so tacky, but it's so fun. Pervert, preferably a live one. Yes, dead vaginas are a little stinky and I, uh, it's kind of true. I, you know, I have a smell thing and it's very difficult to get the whole decomposition smell of an actual dead vagina.
So, um, a little necropsy or whatever they call that stuff. It's just not good. I mean, it has definitely its own friction. It's definitely kind of like, you know, if you like took beef jerky, folded it in half and put some oil on it, you know, that's probably what I'm in a car.
I'm living in testicle. I'm going to act out. Have you not figured this out? I act out.
No, I figured it out a very long time ago and I'm sorry to work with. Well, you're just a masochist, God damn it. That's what I love about you. All right.
We'll see you guys on the next show. Here we go. One, two, three, four. Can you help me find a little stupid people?
This shit is quite insane. Like a virus they keep home breeding. Little stupid people with retard D and A. Can't get circus hypnotizes suckers by the toys and lies.
Keep electing douche bass that just numpus jack our own erections. Can you help me find a cure for all the stupid people they pray to fairy tale gods. They say the Lord loves all the little children. While kids are starving everywhere, bitch that logic is flawed.
Can't get circus hypnotizes suckers by the toys and lies. Keep electing douche bass that just numpus jack our sucka bitch erections. I'm not a sucker. I'm not a sucker for commercials that show some big titty girl just never gonna fuck me anyway.
I'm not a sucker. You can make it fly with a smile. Stop making fat babies taking meds blaming the government. Stop being a fucking sheep.
Go wild. Learn some new shit. Stop throwing your phone. Look up.
Have a conversation. Maybe snoring some fucking fiber because your brains are concentrated. Can you help me find a cure for all the stupid people. This will not fix itself.
Stop giving blowjobs to crooks and creatures who use you like a dollar hooker and learn to think for yourselves. Please think and sue these hypnotizes suckers by the toys and lies. Keep electing douche bass that just help us jack our owny retrins. I'm not a sucker.
I'm not a sucker. No, I'm not a sucker. Now you. I'm not a sucker.
I'm not a sucker. I'm not a sucker.