386. The Hidden Cost of Pretending to Have It All Together: Featuring Chris Valli

What if vulnerability is not a weakness, but the very thing that helps leaders build trust, connection, and courage? In this episode of Aspire to Lead, Joshua Stamper talks with Chris Valli, a New Zealand author, keynote speaker, former journalist, educator, and founder of the VOIC framework, Vulnerability Opens Inner Courage. Chris shares how a highly publicized turning point in his teaching career became the catalyst for a deeper understanding of authentic leadership, emotional intelligence, and the power of using your voice. Together, they explore the hidden cost of “having it all together,” the role of storytelling in creating belonging, and why difficult conversations are essential for healthy school culture. Chris also discusses reframing masculinity, building psychologically safe environments, and how courage grows when leaders are willing to be seen, speak honestly, and lead with empathy, compassion, and purpose. About Chris Valli Chris Valli is a New Zealand author, keynote speaker, former journalist, educator and founder of the VOIC Framework (Vulnerability Opens Inner Courage). Following a highly publicised turning point in his teaching career, Chris transformed adversity into a platform for authentic leadership, helping educators, leaders and communities embrace vulnerability as a catalyst for courage, connection and growth. His work explores emotional literacy, wellbeing, resilience and the future of leadership through the lens of human connection. Chris is also the author of Put the Phone Away and the forthcoming Beyond the Chair, inspiring audiences to lead with heart before hierarchy. Follow Chris Valli Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61590626252770Linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-valli-983b54311Stories that Stir:https://www.facebook.com/storiesthatstir https://www.amazon.com/Put-Phone-Away-Chris-Valli/dp/1037118111?&linkCode=ll2&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=f2ca09f46f4c34cbc4f50accbded689e&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl — #1 New Release, "The Language of Behavior" is NOW Available! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DVT32KQ1?&linkCode=ll1&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=d18e5a44a6582a22d15ee23193af7bb8&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl The Language of Behavior is an essential guide for school leaders committed to transforming their school culture and addressing student behavior through a more compassionate, effective approach. Drawing on their extensive experience in education, Charle Peck and Joshua Stamper challenge outdated disciplinary practices and offer a clear, trauma-informed framework that empowers educators to interpret student behavior as a form of communication. Through three core tenets—Consider the Environment, Explore the Root Causes of Behavior, and Respond with Intentionality—this book equips leaders with actionable strategies to foster positive behavior, build stronger relationships, and cultivate a more supportive school climate. Packed with real-world case studies, evidence-based practices, and insights into the lasting effects of childhood trauma, The Language of Behavior provides school leaders with the tools to create lasting, meaningful change. It offers a roadmap to reduce behavior issues, re-engage students and staff, and establish a culture of accountability and empathy. This book is not just a reference—it's a call to lead with vision and transform how we approach discipline, ensuring every student has the opportunity to thrive. Bulk Orders: https://www.connectedd.org/bulk-orders — Need a Presenter for a conference or school PD? Contact Brad Waid to book Joshua Stamper for your next event on Improving Student Behavior, Impacting School Mental Health, or Creating healthy habits. Follow the Host, Joshua Stamper: Contact:https://joshstamper.com/contact/Twitter:www.twitter.com/Joshua__StamperInstagram:www.instagram.com/joshua__stamperLinkedin:www.linkedin.com/in/joshua-stamperFacebook:https://www.facebook.com/AspirePodcastSubscribe:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/aspire-the-leadership-development-podcast/id1384210762?mt=2 Aspire to Lead Won the FireBird Award! I’m happy to announce that my book, “Aspire to Lead”, won the 2022 Leadership Book Award from Speak Up Talk Radio! It is a great honor to get this kind of recognition and I really appreciate all your support! The book is available for purchase on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1953852386/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1953852386&linkCode=as2&tag=aspirewebsite-20&linkId=0d9c336e3db6ab16cbb08421ef3e4175 Review the Podcast I want to give a huge shout out to those who have taken the time to provide a review on Apple, Spotify or any other podcast platform. It truly means the world to me that you would take the 30- 90 seconds to share how the podcast has positively impacted you or why other educators should check out the show. This post contains affiliate links. When you make a purchase through these links, The Aspire Podcast gets a small percentage of the sale at no extra cost to you. Teach Better Podcast Network This podcast is a part of the Teach Better Podcast Network. Explore the Teach Better Podcast Network—your hub for insightful conversations covering diverse education topics. Our podcasts empower educators, fostering progressive, student-focused classrooms. Choose a podcast, subscribe, and dive into recent episodes now at https://www.teachbetterpodcastnetwork.com/