I have nothing. I have nothing to talk about. I have no list. I was gonna ask you a question about um, trends.
Hey girls talking podcast. It's not even what you're supposed to say. You're gonna ask me about trends? Yeah, I was gonna ask you if there's any trends you hated and we're ready to see die.
Trends you're sick of, trends you're tired of. I don't like it when people say that moment when. I don't like that either. I have a big problem with that actually.
Does that kind of a trend? Um kind of, except it's really lame people always. That thing where blah blah blah. Okay cool.
I get it. Something happened to you once. Okay my number one most hated verbal trend like this though would be when people say my brunch is better than your brunch or my husband's better than your husband or whatever. I'm like why is it a competition between the lamest things you could possibly imagine?
Well also if it's being said on Facebook it's a competition between you and like unknown reader. Right but I'm always like why would you like, why would you present any information that way? Why would you ever be like my ex is better than your ex? Meh and by ex I mean unknown quantity not ex boyfriend.
Oh I totally read it as ex boyfriend and I was like who actually like heard it as ex husband and I was like what a weird thing to brag about. No it's like my it's always literally it's always like my nephew is better than your nephew. Well okay who cares what like why would you phrase anything that way it makes me crazy. It's just it's just a way of bragging.
You know what else I hate also along the same line is when people say we didn't have any fun at all today at the fair or like wow looks like this was the worst day ever and they actually mean it was the best thing ever nobody here loved brunch like eat absolutely every dick in this bag and cheer up. At least that is like some form of sarcasm or something which is the only humor I use. So I'm like oh well you're not as good as it as good at it as I would prefer but at least you're using it. No like that's barely even like how you like say opposite day.
It's the best and you can't say it's the worst. Why not just be like normal why can't you just say something normal or like an above dylan lyric come on do something that's not abysmally annoying. Yeah I mean I just like I would not communicate that way. Ever I would never and yet routinely every single human being on the stupid internet seems to pick one of these three ways to only communicate why is that?
I don't know but I mean I just I just glaze over it it doesn't get into my you know anger circle. Aren't you lucky aren't you living just the life of Riley over there unencumbered by hatred. Who's Riley? It's a saying the life of Riley.
What does it mean? It's from like a 1940s tv show. I was gonna say I didn't know but I actually do know. Is this the show called the life of Riley?
Yeah it was. I mean it's not on anymore it was like sponsored by Colgate you know whatever. One of those. Oh yeah olden days.
But that was a very popular saying among you know the boomers. I bet. The greatest generation ever since you told me you can hear my breathing I feel like I have to say everything I'm gonna say in one go and then turn away to like gold for air. So if I keep like turning away and hiding my mouth from the camera that's because I'm trying to not breathe the thing.
It's okay it's not that bad it just I can cut it out you just have to yeah you know take your gulps as you as you as you can take e-gulps where you may. It's so easier to cut out hang on I got a text message that I feel like is something we could podcast about. It's actually just a boring it's a joke like mama but it's boring so maybe not. It's a toll of so I'm getting second notice of delinquent toll evasion violation and let me tell you a story about how I crossed this bridge in San Francisco not the golden gate bridge not the Bay Ridge another one because everything's an island and I didn't have enough cash to pay the toll because of my trailer the toll was like $20 and it was cash only.
And I had half as much as I needed and they were like okay you'll just get a ticket in the mail. And then I had and they were like and you can sign up for the fast track which is like you know the only way you can pay non-cash is if you like have money loaded in your fast track or like sign up for the fast track load the money onto the fast track and you only have to pay the toll amount. And I did all these things like they were like you have to wait till you get the violation of mail and you sign up and I like signed up I followed all the rules and it was like and now it'll like in about 10 days it will like your your toll will be your your penalty your ticket will be reversed because now you're fast tracking signed up got my fast track in the mail blah blah blah well today. Sarah text me because I like get my you know tickets at her house.
All my all my people are so lucky to get various elements of my mail at their various addresses. I was gonna say are you spreading it out across the entirety of Southern California your mail system? Basically. Cool me too but like unintentionally the last four places I live I think routinely all receive mail for me don't know how to change it anywhere it's fine whatever.
Yeah and I'm sure like you get your tickets at one place like I do. And I've never seen them for the past two years so I don't know where that is. Anyway so Sarah texted me and of course she like like a good friend is like all involved in every joke like moment I have and so she she sees that outside of the envelope has you know giant red letters second delinquent notice and she's like what is this what is this about? I don't know what it's about I guess I have to log on to this dumb toll website which of course like every government website is nonsense.
It's like giving me hives I have like delinquent parking tickets that I need to take care of and have been avoiding until I felt like I had the emotional energy to do that so I guess never is when I plan on dealing with that. Today I had set aside some emotional energy to RSVP to Carolyn's bridal shower and RSVP to this other wedding reception I got invited to. Literally it's sending an email saying yes I will be there and no I'm sorry I can't make it. That's all it is but I like got the invites last week and I've stacked them aside for like when I have a moment to really like say yes or no activate even though I know like I knew it.
Right. Another verbal thing I hate when people do is when they post something and just say this. People don't do it as much anymore it's falling a little bit out of a trend I would say. Out of Vogue.
It's a lot of Vogue at this point it's a little overplayed but I really really hated that. This oh wow you're making such a big statement you don't even need to say anything you're just gonna say this got it. Insightful. I guess I hate all forms of human communication top to bottom no matter what they are is what I just discovered.
You do yeah you do it makes you really angry when people communicate. When they do it dumly yeah say something interesting for once in your stupid shallow life. Thanks for sharing it on Facebook. I mean I guess it's all people have to share on Facebook because they're stupid shallow life isn't it?
Some one of my Facebook friends who you would love her she never posts. Perfect the ideal woman she lasted the other day she posted like a birth announcement and I was like is this her kid and I like went through her feet and I was like yeah she never announced she was pregnant I was like there's been three posts in the last two years total I was like a man it would be so into this. So into that. But she posted there was something that happened.
Oh that like drama where someone got beaten on a flight or something do you remember this was like two months ago and everyone was like oh my god you know the airlines is the worst which is like by the way that was a month ago in case time just feels like it's. It was only a month ago. I know yeah anyway she posted and she was like she was like I like how everyone suddenly has an opinion on like what's right and what's wrong and this is really hard to crack case of the man getting beaten up. She's like every post in my feed and I was like on the one hand you're now one of them but also I will like this.
I'm trying to find out exactly what it was as if it matters at all. Hey Siri when did that guy get beaten up on the airline? Siri's staying out of it. Siri's not interested.
Siri's apolitical. April 10th 2017 I guess you're right. No two months ago. Have you ever witnessed something crazy happen on an airplane that made you feel unsafe or crazy or you weren't sure what to do?
One time I was on a plane and they asked if there were any doctors and nurses on board. I think that happens almost every time I'm on a plane I'm not even kidding. And I think I remember being like well yeah I'm not a doctor and nurse. I just decided.
So there's nothing I felt like I need to help and I was like but I can't per the instructions. There's nothing I can do because I'm neither doctor or a nurse. I mean god bless us all because I'd be bad at both of those things. I was gonna say it's better for everyone.
You're like stand up making an announcement. Like excuse me can I have everyone's attention? While I cannot actually help with this incident I think we can all agree that's for the best and I would like to take a moment just to like let's all observe that and me. Also if you need anyone to like be in charge or do some organizational tactics.
If we're looking at some notes. A Trello board to be created for the situation with deadlines and to-do lists and checklists. Don't forget that because that's a great feature of the Trello board. I am willing and available to undertake that.
Thank you. Thank you. I can also form us into teams. Yeah I have an agile I'm an agile coat in my mind that the stewardess is dragging the phone away from your face at this point.
You're like try to get the last word and you're like I'm sort of by an agile ripping it out of your hands. So and so I remember being like oh I should help and then being like nope that's not what they asked for. And then back what they're asking me to do is sit quietly and not ask for anything. And then I was like I wonder what's happening and I wonder what's going to happen.
So are we gonna have to emergency land because I you know that happens if someone's having a medical emergency they'll stop like as soon as possible. But nothing of that nature happened. Though when we did land everyone had to stand the plane because like some paramedics came on to like get off the passenger that was having trouble. But that was like I mean still like not even inconvenient like the whole thing was just like oh I hope that person's okay.
I'm trying to remember if anything else has happened on a plane that I had feelings about. When I was flying to Houston because I was trying to remember this happened on the flight to Iceland or Houston but it was definitely Houston where- Yeah because you're such a jet center let's smell these lights you've taken since that guy got beat up on the United Airlines thing on April 10th. Oh my god. Well I was just thinking about how I should have faked a heart attack so that the incredibly beautiful stewardesses on Iceland air would have fawned over me the entire way.
And I could have looked into their beautiful faces for that much more time. But no it was when we were flying into Houston they had somebody like laying down in the front of the plane and they were not well and again like yeah so I wanted to come and get them off the plane first. I thought I was on a plane in a barf bag. Really?
I've never done that. It was so it was a flight from I think Portland to Medford which is basically like a 30 minute flight and you go like basically you go vertical in the air. The airplane's just like and then over a mountain and then down again and they're super tiny planes because only three times I was just going to go and start saying no Portland to Medford shorter. Okay.
And it's a really tiny it's a really tiny plane because only three people need to go there and I basically felt like I was sitting on the engine as the plane went vertical into the air and then like bounced over a mountain and then came down again and my tummy was like no no no no no no no. I did see the sweetest confiscation at TSA I've ever seen at the Medford airport where a very sweet man was telling this old lady she couldn't take a jar of pickles with her onto the plane. Yes I was there with you. Yeah it kind of it kind of you know warms my heart.
She was like but I got these at the farmers market. Right. I'm sure she was like but the Jackson mill in. He's like I know.
I know you can't even bring a sealed bottled line I don't think. Watch me. You're right. I think all of that they want to go in through the special Sommelier place.
The X-ray machine is that we're calling the Sommelier place? I'm inventing a secret a secret thing. Oh god I like what to taste it. That's my new career.
Secret underbelly of the TSA the Sommelier agency. That should be our thing. We don't even have to work for the TSA it's just a scam where we dress up like TSA. That should be our thing.
We dress up like the TSA and we stand at the front of the line before the person that like is making sure you're getting the right line like we're way up front. We're getting alcohol any uh. Yeah. Ball the wine.
We'll be taking the like we're like we're like you have any liquids. Do you have any liquids and they're like yeah we're like uh is it bottles of wine because it's the bottles of wine zone. You're just gonna put them right here. We've got this box that we got from the lobby of Bevmo.
I don't know how long this explanation is for someone who's like just gonna give it to you because you're wearing a uniform. I got this box or the book. Oh you're okay. All right.
I do love a uniform. Well this is like my scam to steal plants from front yards was to dress up like a horticultural association of Los Angeles. Oh I feel like although I can't imagine that the fines from pursuing a TSA officer are probably a lot higher than the prison time than he made up Los Angeles horticultural society um you know investments. Yes um speaking of horticulture I have some questions for you that I'm sure are interesting to no one else.
Shall I ask them now? Wow does that sound like a podcast topic or what? I just need to know when I steal clippings. Okay from places.
This I can actually help you with and I can't help anyone with anything. I refuse to read anything in the Facebook group, Secular Dreamers. Even though I know the point is crazy. Half the people have bad information.
The other half are spreading misinformation and then there's like 10 people that actually know what they're talking about so be careful. Well then I'm glad I'm just going straight to the expert. Yeah I've been reading Secular Dreamers for a long time so we'll see what the grab bag of imagination comes up with. For those just tuning in Secular Dreamers is a Facebook group where people post pictures of their succulents and discuss them and yes it is heaven.
And the only reason is hell it is that little slice of earth in between. It's purgatory for sure and everyone's trying to get out of there but it's hard. So anyway go ahead. So when I steal clippings from plants so that I can make them into my own plants.
What am I supposed to do after I steal them? Can you just I mean it's different from whatever the different plants are so if you cut off a piece of cactus. None of these are cactus. These are all like little you know ground cover resecular type things.
Okay well then you're gonna want to try and get like um Usually you want to give it like a day or two to dry out. You don't want to put like the wet end in anything. You can you just break off like a branch of bed or whatever you can just stick that in the ground. But if you usually want to wait and let it like calice over a little bit same with cactuses.
Then you bury it in the in dirt usually. Okay I usually try to get an actual part of the plant as opposed to just like a leaf. Because the leaves don't actually propagate correctly in my opinion. So I think you need to get like a little bit of the plant.
Okay so I have I have both I have like some of each. So I have some that's like an actual part of the plant like it was a huge huge ground cover so I didn't feel bad like ripping off part of it. So it's got like quite the like what's the part of a tree called? Trunk.
It's got like quite the trunk on it. Yeah you can just pop that in the dirt. Um and I let it like hang out not in the dirt for a while but I think it's still fine. It should be fine and now it's in dirt but does it need like a big pot because it's got such a trunk?
Or does it not matter? Um I try to plant stuff in a pot that I think like will support it. It takes a long time for them to root after that so um I would put it in a pot that's like commensurate with the size of it. I can hold it up you know.
Okay kind of a use your best judgment type deal. All right I feel like these pots are too small but I don't care. I'm just gonna see what happens. Yeah that's fine.
See the thing about succulents is that they will grow to the size of their container basically until you replant them for the most part. Cool. So small they'll probably stay small. And then so what happens with the leaf is that and I've seen this happen in my own pot and then I found leaves in other people's pots or whatever.
The leaf has fallen off and then the plant has like the little pup or whatever has started to come out of the leaf and then it's got its own roots and I've even seen ones where then the leaf has like started to triple up and it leaves remaining like a whole new plant. Yeah so if I steal that device and I've got like the roots and the new pup and the leaf all connected what do I do with that? Do I let that dry out? Do I plant that?
Do I like let it sit on top of some soil and see what happens? I don't understand. I don't really know to be honest because I've never grown them from that way because I wanted perfectly symmetrical plants and I felt like I wasn't going to get a perfectly symmetrical plant out of that. Oh I have to send you pictures they look they look they look they look symmetrical.
It's not like it's not like the leaf like is part of it. Okay if you send me a picture of it then maybe I would try planting those in the dirt and see how they do. Okay since they already have some roots. If they have roots yeah just put the roots in the dirt.
Okay all right and they should be fine. And then do you have ethical concerns about what I'm doing? I don't I've stolen plants myself. I try not to steal anything.
I try not to like dig something up like an entire giant blue agave or something like that but I've broken off little pieces of cactus where they're not noticeable or I've like you know asked homeowners if I could chop off parts of their cactus and so forth. But no I mean I really don't if as long as it's not I try to tell the difference like there's one house on our street that has amazing succulents and I can tell the person who lives there really cares and like takes care of their plants and there's someone that I feel like I would like knock on the door maybe and ask if I could have some cuttings. But most people if it's just in the front yard and I'm like oh this is just like a jade tree they've given up on then I'll just cut some off but yeah but I always try to do it where it's like not noticeable and never take like an entire huge chunk of a plant or anything. Right yeah I whenever I always do not noticeable stuff.
Also with the leaf thing where you take the leaf off and then it like propagates and then does the leaf need to be like in is leaf just sitting out and it does that or does the leaf need to be watered or what? I'm supposed to mist them like with a spray bottle every couple days what I've heard. It's supposed to be laying on some dirt if it's on dirt then it will naturally start to root and naturally start to propagate and then and then yeah you just like spray it with some water. Otherwise having a problem with those because my cats like definitely like the rest of my plants my cats leave alone when I have the leaves sitting on top of the dirt my cats are like what is this game you've made for us and they flip they flip the leaves out of the dirt.
You could get a little container and like poke holes in the top of it basically so that they wouldn't like bug it maybe like a rotisserie chicken container yeah yeah I would like just to lay on it somehow yeah um it's good idea. Oh is I gonna tell you about this oh yeah so for those you want to miss every couple days but for regular succulents yeah you only want to water them like depending on what the variety is you only want to water them about once a week and make sure that the soil is like completely dry before you like water it again and you want to like how long does it need to be dry because I feel like when it's super hot if you water it dries out really fast like do you still wait a week or is it like if it's really hot you move to it more often. Now to me if the soil is completely dry it kind of depends like there's something called stressing succulents which you can do by not watering them by putting them in the sun that will often make them change colors or reveal like certain things about the plant like it'll basically cause it to mutate that's happening with one of mine. Yeah so there's a kind of itchivaria called rainbow aschivaria which is basically like if you think of a succulent in your head it's probably the type that you're thinking of it's just like this blooming succulent type plant.
I went to a bakery this morning that had this little mini cake like imagine like a little like the top is tier of like a hundred tier cake and there's like a little one at the top it was like that and on top of it it had one of those like made out of buttercream. I saw a succulent covered cake that was all buttercream succulents it was so beautiful. Did you see it in person or on Instagram? It was on Instagram.
That was cool. Anyway so those only reveal their rainbow nature if they're out in the sun for being stressed quote unquote. I'm still learning a lot about which plants need full sun which plants don't so I keep mine halfway under the patio and kind of rotate them to keep an eye on them so they're not in direct sunlight all day but they have morning sun and then the cactus I just leave out because I figure that they're pretty hearty although I've heard that cactus can get sunburned. What else?
Yeah so I mean like if I notice that they're I don't know I kind of go back and forth between over watering and not watering enough unfortunately so I'm just trying to keep it to like once a week and see how we do. The way for the soil to dry out but as it is getting hotter and summer it's going to be a lot hotter I think that yeah as soon as the soil is completely dry it's just hard to tell whether down at the roots is completely dry or whether it's completely dry at the top. I've heard you can use a chopstick to put that down and like see if it's wet at the bottom but I would never touch I would never touch unfinished wood so no. Oh that's right you have a thing.
Do you have any phobias? Yeah about weird things. Well veins like I don't like veins. Like looking at them or touching them.
So I don't notice other people's veins unless they're super like super blue but I don't look for them but then but yeah when people like turn their form over and they're like pushing on their veins that like really really like and I don't have a problem with blood and I don't have a problem with anything disgusting and I don't have a problem with like surgery or like gross things but like this one weird thing about veins just like killing me. Yeah yeah and like I used to date someone who worked in the medical field and drew blood a lot and so he always noticed veins and would point them out because he'd be like oh my god like that's a good vein that's a good vein and I was like can we not I remember Lushy maker saying that all the time she'd be like whoa they have such good veins like all excited about it and I was like oh which I understand from like a skill perspective of like you're like there's this one thing I do a hundred times a day of course I have 50 opinions on it and like I remember one time we were at a gas station and just like this random guy was pumping gas on the other side and my ex was like look look at his vein and I was like please oh my god please don't that man is gonna call the police right at this point you're like eyeballing his arms like you're gonna cut them off we saw them seriously look at his veins kidnap him and give him heroin what why it's not even a good joke what did I say that um I feel like my only real phobia is the unfinished wood thing where it's like I don't like if there's two things in my food I will like look away and ask someone else to take them out which is always really weird for the other person I think because they're like what is happening right now um but I just hit in the thought of like when touching my teeth it just freaks me out um any kind of like wooden tongue depressor chops are okay because I'm just using that they're usually not like the unfinished wood feeling they're usually like at least coated somewhat or I'm able to just associate be like this unfinished wood is not actually touching my teeth but if it was like sometimes John like bites on his just annoy me and it really like it puts like bile in my throat almost instantly like I feel quite ill so is your problem with the idea of it touching your teeth or the idea of touching it with any part of your body because I feel like you don't like touching with your hands um I don't like touching small pieces of it like I don't like touching a toothpick with my hands because I feel like that's one step away like I know the feeling in my mind of using it because I used to be able to use like a toothpick on my teeth or whatever and it wasn't a big deal or I used to able to bite them or I don't know I used to like be able to bite on a wooden tongue depressor and not have it be weird but I remember distinctly what happened like at summer camp um I was eating one of those little ice creams with a wooden spoon and it like whatever happened it changed something in my brain and from I swear like age 14 on I was never able to do anything have anything that was like that again like ever did anything happen while you were like using that spoon like you bad news or something I don't think so it was literally like it just never occurred to me how disgusting it was like all of a sudden I was like oh this feels awful on my mouth this feels weird on my teeth it's like I was unpleasant like I think it just like occurred to me for the first time that it was like something that I could not live with which I know is crazy and I know it's not a real thing I absolutely get that but like it feels so real to me it gives me I feel like it gives me a pretty good amount of grace for other people's weird stuff I'm always like whatever but yeah it just I mean obviously if someone was like I'm gonna hold a gun to your head and you have to use these you have to like chew on these chopsticks I would do it like I would be grossed out but it's not like I'd rather die than do it you know it's just like oh if I have a preference I don't want a toothpick holding my sandwich together what do you want holding your sandwich together um Alex James steak beautiful hands feeding it to me in our house in the country that's right little bird joke for you so I don't have I had like the opposite of a phobia I guess there's a sound that I really really like what is it it's the sound of paper being folded or unfolded oh you must love wrapping all the tissue paper then no it has to be like regular like printer paper not like tissue paper yeah not and it's not not a crumple noise like it's that folding noise yeah and I can remember being in kindergarten or no first grade I remember being in first grade and being at the school library um in the librarian was reading us a book and the and the page turning creates a similar sound so like it does it's so beautiful I love that sound and it wasn't like when I thought I like this that it was like I'm not that's the earliest I can remember knowing it but I don't remember it as like oh this is when it started I just know that I felt this way my whole life yeah and I can remember being a kid and like just sitting with a piece of paper and folding it and unfolding it and folding it and unfolding it and unfolding it until like eventually it would like lose its crispiness and I'd be like I ruined it but it's way more exciting to me now like I notice it more or it like hits that like kind of like high feeling when it happens like on tv or in a movie or in a podcast like that's when I notice it unexpectedly if you come across it unexpectedly yeah and it's like sound engineering has come into play so it's like a paper is being folded and I'm like I want to like make a whole clip 20 minute clips real of like the greatest paper called AMR ADMR ASMR yeah that's so you that's funny I don't I don't know if I have a noise like that that I just love so much maybe this out of like a blueberry container being opened I guess the sound of ice cream the sound of an ice cream scoop gliding into some perfectly like correct ice cream there's no sound yeah I was like it's perfectly silent as it is if there's noise that means there's something wrong this is noise that means it's too icy good or memory or someone's saying damn it it's because the spoon for the ice cream is too cold something bad's happening no not to my ice cream man I can't have I'm on I'm doing whole 30 right now gentle listeners oh I thought about that as a topic but I didn't write it down I mean it's so boring who could even I'm going whole 30 how's it going um it's going totally fine I don't ever have a problem doing the whole 30 except that I love ice cream and treats so that is hard that's probably that's why I'm doing it because I had an entire month of pretty much only eating treats and ice cream and bad bad food and yeah so I need to clean up my act a little bit in life in general and decided I should do a whole 30 so I'm on day five I think maybe five or six and um wishful thinking six it's definitely five um and I mean it's fine it's really not that bad as long as I have food on hand at home like you know what I mean like it's not that bad so yeah I've been eating like not whole 30 but like whole 30 inspired or like whole like just like whole food inspired like I eat grains and stuff but just you know like yeah like I make a rice bowl with fresh veggies and stuff um that is the one thing it would be nice to eat on I feel like whole 30 be really complete if you were able to rice with it right which is like I mean I don't like I think whole 30 is a is I think whole 30 is great for like checking out allergies and stuff um sure and I think rules are great for like structure and general yeah that's pretty much the only thing I need is the rules so right now and so and so I have my own like rules um rules and but I've been I don't know it's been like a month and I love such rules it's great um and it's nice because it's just like my rules is like no treats so one that's one of my rules so what's great rule once I are like once the rule exists then I just don't even have to make a decision um but I did I did have a piece of cake per carolens birthday but I knew that in advance I was like I will have a treat because it'll be delicious treat in a special occasion but that's the only treat I've had in months not months weeks I want to treat yeah but when you stop having treats then like everything is a treat it turns out yeah I mean I had some blueberries today like I'm like oh my god this yogurt with some honey in a banana is so delicious yeah I might have it after we get off this I know I'm like oh I can have some like almond butter and some delicious uh apple slices so it's so great uh I saw billboard the other day they gave me some billboard rage um take us there tell me all about it it was for a jeweler so you know it's number one in general uh for anyone there was a there was a news story several months ago about a jeweler somewhere in like Jersey or somewhere somewhere somewhere in the east coast who had a who had something that suggested domestic abuse and they got in big trouble it obviously went viral and everyone was like how dare they whoa it was it was some sort of play on the line like don't throw rocks at girls it was like maybe you should throw rocks at girls is what and everyone was like this is awful yikes and they were like we're sorry we don't know how to do anything we've donated all the money we made from any ring ever to domestic abuse you know perfect centers so this one um had a woman and she has big hair and lots of makeup on and she's taking up like half the billboards a photo of her and she's holding up her hand which is like in front of her face kind of and she's holding up her ring finger only and so it kind of looks like she's slipping you off but it's her ring finger and it all catchy very edgy and then it all caps it says she's tired of waiting oh my god yep that's it that's the end and it's like and then it's like come by a ring or whatever if that doesn't motivate you then nothing will you know i just as long as she's tired of waiting i probably should propose i or like i probably should buy a ring i like i it's just i all the people involved i just like yeah it's all a bad idea how would you change that ad to make it better other than not having it which is the best option of all yeah i was like just i don't know it would be like we saw rings um ah the great marketing mind at work no we saw i mean i think like k-jewelers and stuff knows what they're doing with this sort of stuff they're like they like paint a scenario they're like we're like the nice skins with k and they're like for the nights that you know and and like and it's like there's a sick coughing kid and and the mom's like checking on the kid and the mom's like talking the other kid into bed making that add up is this even a real no i don't know it could be this is how i remember they're making this up you told me how should the ad be i'm giving an example of how ads should be oh i thought you're saying this is like direct you're like well it should be like the jared jewellers ad which is like this or whatever i feel like they have these ads where it shows like these people in their realize and the woman is like being some sort of hero and then like the guy who gets her ring because she's being a hero weird and i'm like well that's a better than she's tired of waiting i mean like because she deserves it i don't like either but it's better than the threat yeah the threat is an odd look because you can't wait to spend your life with her but can you i can and then maybe if there was like some sort of like extra special value prop about how like you know they have a good life they have a good layaway plan or something like you can get it now i don't know yeah i'm trying to remember this de beers commercial i used to love what's de beer is that a jeweler it's a diamond company they own basically every diamond in the world um there used to be these ads on there were on all the time when i would watch a lot of tv as a kid and they were like black and white diamond ads and it was these men and women like model esque figures and it was always these mysterious situations they're kind of like foreign films i wonder what i wonder who directed those but i remember the music so distinctly because it was the same music and every single ad it was like dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan dan stDS and it was like with classical song and it was so beautiful but yeah and then it would always end with like the woman showing his beautiful diamond that was like the brightest thing in the entire commercial and it was like a diamond is forever to be here so i was like whoa that sounds sort of familiar yeah i feel like they were on all the time i don't know why they're like wide to be here doesn't advertise anymore maybe they do they just don't do it on you knowdie on Hulu or wherever. Yeah, which only seems interested in showing me clear blue pregnancy ads. Have I already railed about this?
I think I did last episode. I don't know if you've done it on the podcast, but you've certainly done it to me. Are you? OK, if I haven't done it on the podcast, I absolutely have to because that ad is insane.
We bought, we've never in our lives paid to get rid of ads or something. And John turned to me eventually and was like, he's like, I'll do whatever. We can't watch these ads anymore. And I was like, I agree.
Hulu, I will say, has the highest quality ads I've seen on any network or any TV show or whatever. The ads are always really good. The problem is they immerse you in them. So every four minutes, they're too good.
Well, you just see the same ad probably 20 times when you're watching a show. Like, they'll show it. They'll show it different now. They'll show that same ad again.
And they do that every three minutes. And eventually, you're like, I know more about the clear blue pregnancy, how it works than I know about anything, including how people get pregnant. So this doesn't make any sense. Like, this is a black and white video.
There's some old time music. There's a diamond ring. Oh, that sounds nice. Oh, diamond rings lead to clear blue pregnancy tests.
God. I'm absolutely certain I must have talked about this little girl. It's like, oh, it's a girl. Yeah.
No, you've talked to me about this. I just don't know if it's on the podcast. How is that possible? I'm so nervous that we already talked about on the podcast.
You can talk about it again. I don't want to repeat content. It's not that exciting. It's just a horrible thing that happened to me.
OK. Anyway, if anyone has a pressing desire to hear me repeat the clear blue pregnancy ad word for word. Hit us up. Hit us up to girlstalking.club or join two girls talking club on Facebook and put any requests.
I can sign the petition. I can do any ad that was on the air between 1992 and 2001 on network TV. And any ad that was on Hulu in the past three months before I signed up for ad-free Hulu. Thank you.
Cool. Wait. I was going to say something about an ad. Oh, one of my Facebook friends the other day was for those of you who are recently engaged or planning on getting engaged soon.
And then he had the series of questions. And apparently, he's helping. He's doing marketing consulting for some sort of diamond seller. It was like, did you?
How did you choose the ring? Did you tell your partner what you wanted? Did you go together? Was it a surprise?
And he was like, I'm helping out a friend with their scam of the day or whatever. And I didn't read the comments because I was like, this will make me sad. But there were so many people who were like, I'd love to talk about my ring. God, yeah.
I mean, that was the entire basis of my newsletter, hashtag engaged, which is comes out once every six months, whether you wanted or not. Basically just goes through the best things on Instagram of the hashtag engaged category, all of which are insane and tries to put those in a thing. But yeah, I've looked at a million different rings just through that and through also our wedding business that we have. And I don't know.
I mean, sometimes I think ideally about a ring that I would want, but I can't actually imagine anything I would want other than an insane ring. So I thought it was shaped like a coffin the other day that I really liked. Gross. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. I know. I know. Or like a novelty ring.
I always used to like the deuce was like, we don't ever have rings. We just buy one all the time for each other. And then I was like, oh, but then you hated each other, actually, is the truth. Well, I don't think they always hated each other.
Still, I feel like early on, you can tell. Well, I do feel like that's what everyone likes to say. They're like, we saw this coming because they didn't even wear rings. And it's like, well, probably that doesn't mean you're going to be forced.
I think what I would like best is probably just like Rose gold band. That's it. Yeah, I feel like I don't know. I don't want to.
Hey, I mean, I don't think about it hardly ever. Right. Because it's imaginary and will never happen in my life. So yeah, it feels very like planning for something that like you don't have an offer.
Yeah, superstitious is the wrong word because it suggests that like I believe I could jinx it. It's more like, well, I don't believe in that thing. Like I believe engagement. Like I don't believe that I could like be happy and in love and like engage.
So I'm wrong mindset, but OK. But I'm saying like because I don't believe that, it's like well, then having thoughts about like things related to that just feels like hard and sad. Like it's like, no, like, yeah. Well, another funny thing is today, as I was making this wedding veil for this girl, I was like, oh, I mean, I can just make myself a veil, whatever I want, wherever I want, wherever I want, I guess, you know, right?
Like I want to make a crazy veil for myself. The veil of my dreams, I could do that tomorrow. Could you please make some veils tomorrow and send them to Nate? Yes, I will do that.
Speaking of the veil of my dreams, the veil of my dreams is the one that sells on Etsy. So got to make those ones. I've gotten really good at gathering. You don't understand.
Doreen would be so proud. I was about to say it. Doreen must be proud. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I'm not really one that wears rings anyway. So I guess I don't really have that many ring ideas in general. But I remember when I was in high school, I knew I was like, I want like a heart-shaped diamond on like a pink, pink gold band. And I remember Jenna barely containing her like grossed outness and she was just like, yeah, that sounds cute now, but you won't like it when you're older.
And now that I'm older, I'm like, I don't know. That still sounds dumb and cute, whatever. I wear a ring that was my mom's wedding band. And I really like it as a ring.
And I'm like, well, this ring is fine. This ring is symbolic of, you know, how everything is terrible. So what a fun bunch of Horcruxes you've got laying around friends. Just the one Horcrux.
God. I didn't stop. I've been thinking about all day about what you said about the Marauders map this morning. So listeners, I saw somebody I was not expecting to see on the freeway and it was somebody I have seen for a long time, whatever.
And I happened to be driving behind them and I drove behind them pretty much all the way to my destination. So I pulled onto the freeway in front of you. Like they just like, they like intersected your path. And as I was driving up to that off-rep on-ramp exit, I was like, oh, that's where that person lives.
And then they happened to pull out like right in front of me. And I was like, that is insane. Like I conjured them up somehow. But anyway, I wasn't expecting to see them.
And so like, I realized I couldn't hear, I was like, my heart was racing and I couldn't hear the audio book that I was listening to anymore. Like my ears like, I couldn't hear it anymore. And I was like, this is so great. This is so weird.
Like I don't have any reason to talk to them. So I was just following them because I was going to where I was going. But they haven't been driving exactly in front of me every step of the way until I got to my destination. And it was like on some side streets once we got off the freeway.
So I was a little strange. But I was like, oh, weird. I wonder if I can see me, whatever. And then when I got to Target, I told Abigail, I saw this person and she was like, see, this is the thing about the Marauders map.
So do you want to explain the Marauders map? Well, it's just, I mean, so the world exists. And we're all like, imagine that you're walking on a line, like a dotted line. And everywhere you've been is the line behind you.
And everywhere you're going is the line before you. And all these dotted lines are constantly crossing of all the different people. And sometimes you, like, if Amanda and I are meeting for coffee, like we both know that the crossing is coming. We've organized it.
We're in control of it. And we go across when you have coffee. Other times, maybe I go to Target one day and she goes to Target the next day and we don't even realize that the crossing happened. Like the two lines have crossed, but we weren't there.
Or like with the case of the person you saw today, like you don't know the crossing is going to happen. And then it happens. And it's very like, it's weird and creepy. And it feels like all of that feels unavoidable.
And it's like you don't have all the information. And what you mean is a Marauder's Map, where you can actually see where all the lines are and where they're all going. But also like that's impossible. But it's just like, I don't know.
It really creeps me out. And I've had so many, like there's so many different weird coincidences. And if you think about how many times people you know have run into other people or whatever. And so then you know about this other crossing.
And it's just like, it's like yet another thing that you have no control over. And like it's like no, you want to have control over your dotted lines, but you don't. Because even if you had control over your dotted lines, you can't stop them from crossing other lines. Which I hate because I want my line.
And I don't want it to cross anybody else's ever. Such an uplifting message from Abigail and Shillan. I told you I wasn't in a good place when you were like, do you want a record? I was thinking about this more when I was driving home because I saw before I left Target that someone posted and they were like, somebody's like a friend with a lot of my friends but maybe we're not close.
She posted on Facebook. She's like, oh, you know what, trying to get 10 people together for nine o'clock brunch is so difficult. And in my head immediately I was like, I probably know like all who all those 10 people are. So in a way I feel like social media and Instagram is a little bit of Marauder's map information because I know where certain people are every day because they tell me, you know?
And so it's a little bit easier to fill in the gaps on those things. But there's some people that makes me so crazy that I have no information about where they are, no information about what it is they're doing. And there's no way to get more information about that. Sometimes, yeah, like when I want to, like, it's like, yeah, ideally, like I say, like, oh, I want to be on a line that doesn't cross any other lines, it's like, well, in order to make that happen, I have to know where the other lines are, right?
So it's like, there's this like frustration. It's like, well, I want to avoid all these crossings or some crossings, I want to avoid a lot more than others. And there's some crossings I wish I could erase, obviously. And so when I think about the, when I think about like, oh yeah, it would be so great if I had this information so I could avoid the crossing, it's like, well, on the, like, having that information doesn't just allow me to avoid the crossing, it also creates all these other problems.
So it's this trade-off where it's like, well, you don't really want all the information, but also you're like, well, maybe I'll move to another state. Right. I remember so much like not wanting information about where maybe Carson was. And I think Kate was like, well, isn't he living in so-and-so right after I gave a big speech about how great it was not knowing where he was or whatever.
And part of me was so angry because I was like, what makes, what makes you get to decide whether or not I should be okay, having that information or not having that information? If I just said I don't want to have it. Like why do you think that you, why do you think it not being a big deal is more important than what I think? Well, I think what's tricky about information and it's like, so it's, so yeah, you can choose for yourself what information you want or don't want or what information you'd like to avoid if you can, right?
But then your friends might have information. And so then it's like, okay, are you like, what are you communicating to your friends? Are you saying like, so then you might have to like set that boundary like, hey, if you know stuff about someone so, don't tell me because like, I've decided I don't want that information, right? So you can do that and like hopefully your friends would respect it.
But then like what is hard for me is like, if I had that interaction and then like, I knew that like Christy might have information that I've asked her to not tell me, then suddenly I'm thinking about that and I'm like, oh my God, Christy has this information that like, she's protecting me because I've asked her to. And like that is like, makes me a little baddie where I'm like, now there's this like, it feels like there's this like ball of information. Like this elephant in the room and it might not even exist, but I like know that it could exist. It could exist, yeah.
And then I'm like obsessing about it. So then I'm like, okay, well maybe it's better because I care more about my relationship with Christy. So then like this information I'm avoiding. So I'm like, like what does it look like?
And I mean, you know, it looks like having a conversation. But anyway, I hate information and everything's a trap. Oh, fun. What a fun perspective.
Do you have a joke life moment? So my joke life moment, which this is sort of just like the standard undercurrent of jokiness that underlies every moment underpins every moment of my life. I made these big plans to go meet with Abigail to do some co-working, which is our co-word for hanging out at the Target, Depasadena and work on our business on the weekends. And so I do.
Way back in episode, I think it's 13. It's called hot glue cold wine. And we talk about our even live broadcasting from the Co-worker space. We talk about our life hack.
That is, don't pay for coworking space. Just go to Target. Right. So I knew I had to meet her by like nine o'clock and some orders came in yesterday and I tried to like get done beforehand to take to her.
And I had this big bag of stuff. I was taking to her and so I packed it all up and I was trying to get together with some other supplies she wanted and I was getting everything and I was rushing out of the door. And you were like, and you were like, let's meet there. And I was like, do you just wanna meet to pass off?
And you were like, no, let's do some work. And I was like, okay. Because I told you a couple weeks ago that like us setting aside time to do work together was good because like because of my new job, I don't have as much time anymore. So you were like, yeah, let's do some work.
Yeah, let's like get a bunch done. It'll be great. We can go over everything we need to go over. Get there.
And as I get out of the car with my bags of things, I realized I brought my computer charger. I brought like everything I could possibly need except my computer to do work, which is the only thing I need to do work actually. Well, you need your computer charger too because that's the other checklay moment. Yeah, my computer's so old at this point, it won't like it'll, the battery will die in about an hour.
And that's all the time you get. So you gotta stay plugged in all the time. So you had your charger. No computer.
But no computer. Yeah. And then also my car is making some kind of a little, I would say like odd noises. And it's about to be paid off this month.
So that's all. That all checks out. That's just a lot. Yeah, you can use your car payment money to fix your car.
Sure, pay off any one of the other massive life-crushing debts that I've occurred over my time on this good green earth. Yeah, I've been doing a bit of that. So fantasizing about paying off my debt, not actually paying it off. Oh, same.
I paid $200 to the IRS today. So basically I'm debt-free, JK. My joke life moment is, so when I moved out of my apartment and into my trailer last year, I got a pod storage unit, which is one of those storage containers they bring to you and you fill it up and then they take it away and move it somewhere else, move it somewhere else. And I got it because at the time, it was like the best case scenario for my life because I needed to have it in multiple locations.
I needed access to it because I moved out of my apartment like a month before I actually moved into my trailer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, pod ended up being the worst company ever. Like just awful customers. Oh, no.
They kept making mistakes. They ruined everyone's schedules on multiple times with deliveries and whatnot. Like broke things, right? Like just- No, they didn't hurt any of my stuff.
No, they just had bad customer service. And it was really difficult to schedule moving it and stuff like that. Well, after I hit the road back in, I don't know, November, I had them move the pod to their warehouse facility and I have been paying $250 a month for the pod to be stored there. I have not visited it once, which is not surprising.
But what I need to do, because, oh, and then like since then, they screwed up billing and they accidentally charged me like $300 extra and I had to fight with them about it. And then they charged me a bunch of fees for not paying my bill on time, but it was their fault. Like anyway, it's been the worst experience ever. And after all this weird billing stuff- So awful.
I was like, I'll get this billing stuff resolved. And then I need to move my stuff out of the pod and into a regular storage unit, because a regular storage unit would only cost me $100 a month and the pod is costing me $250 a month. So all I have to do is schedule time to get into my pod and rent a little U-Haul and take the stuff out of my pod and put in the U-Haul and then go to a storage unit and take it out of the U-Haul and put it in the storage unit. And I will save $150 every month.
So I made this decision in April and it is now June and have I done this thing? Nope, why not? My life is a joke. It's hard to do things though.
It really is. I've been working with a life coach, well, just a coach, a CBT coach, I don't know, to try and work on my depression for the past eight weeks. And she's really big on behavioral activations. And like, she's very encouraging.
One of the nice people I've ever talked to on the phone and makes the best little noises of emotional ingredients I've ever encountered and understanding. And she's very big on like, well, let's just do like, you know, little things here and there and see where that gets us. And this really helped, but it's almost impossible to activate towards larger things. Yeah, like moving all of your stuff.
No way. And you have to like schedule the time to get into the unit, like at least three days in advance. Anyway, I would like to save $150 a month since I'm poor and was unemployed for a while. Anyway, my life's a joke.
This is the Two Girls Talking Podcast. I'm Abigail Vatsmanda. That's us. Abigail on Amanda.
We have a website. It's two girls talking. There's a box. There's a box.
We have a Facebook group. Do you want to talk? Yeah, you talk. There's a box.
You can write your feelings in it. Submit your billboard rage. Submit your joke life moment. Tell us why you love us.
Oh, wait, no. Save the why you love us for your review on Apple Podcast. Boom. Boom.
And oh, and there's a link on our website to our Facebook group. So all you have to do, and I'm pretty sure this is true because people keep doing it so it must work. All you have to do is go to the website, click on the link, and then it goes to the Facebook page and you click, request to join. And then Amanda and I have a little meeting.
And we say what we like about you, what we don't like about you. We put it on a whiteboard. We write down all kinds of pros and cons about every thought we've ever had about you. And then we say like, yes, we'll let them in.
Even though we have these major reservations about them as a person. We're just trying to create a safe space. We want to vet everyone personally. Make sure that it's real fans, absolute fans of both of us.
I need the adoration. And God knows Abigail needs the adoration. So it has to be a lot of glorifying. But yeah, we post cool articles, random thoughts.
We need to actually work on it a little bit this week. So we'll do better at posting some cool stuff this week. Promised. Maybe we should go live.
Oh, I love that. Cool. Well, we could go live right now. How?
I don't know. We're in two different places. We need the software first. I know.
I was like, there's a thing that you can do that with. Yeah, we don't have it. All right, let's shut this show down. I got to feed it all.
Peace. Bye. Bye.