space, the final frontier. These are the arduous, anomalous journeys of the Starship Reverted Podcast. It's 60 year mission to boldly fuck our lives up as often as we can so that we can be a good example of people whose lives aren't as fucked up as ours. That's my intro.
Okay, I'm back at like a five-year-old. Jesus Christ, path girl! The last 45 minutes! People don't even know.
They don't even know. You people don't know what goes on behind the scenes, what we do for your people. Like literally 45 minutes ago, I'm in storage, I'm in storage, I'm reaching for my phone to turn on the hotspot so I can log on and everything's cool, everything's mellow! Everything is awesome, putting legos around my dick, I'm making a Lego cock ring.
It's fucking awesome! It's awesome! And then the second, I literally, my thumb is going to press the hotspot and the fucking storage door right next to mine just flies open and someone's doing stuff in their storage, which they can. It's a storage unit.
So I can't fucking say all the dirty shit I say on the show next to someone and start, you know, I don't know who they are and I don't want to cause problems. So I'm like, fuck! I got to move! Text path girl without actually texting her because I didn't push the button.
I got to move! Grab all of my shit, throw it in a bag, run to the car, jump in the car, drive to the cemetery because I know it makes path girl happy. Fuckin' get to the cemetery, call path girl, shit! I didn't even press the button so she didn't even know what the fuck's going on.
She's like, hello, are we gonna do a shout? Are we gonna do a fucking shout here? You're always late, you fucking suck. Jesus, fucking Christ, you're homeless.
What do you have to do in your fucking- I'm usually late. Actually she didn't say any of that, that's me projecting that onto myself. I get in, I say, well as long as I'm here, I gotta do a shout out, gotta do a shout out to the cemetery around here. So a lovely lady was laying there named Jennifer Lamme.
She lived from 1878 to 1858. Shout out to Jennifer, hope she had a wonderful life and lots of love and some good chick- Lamme was her middle name by the way, which I think is the most badass middle name you can have. So then I get that, I get in the car and then I go, okay, put everything there, everything's going, now we're in the cemetery. 20 minutes later, okay, we can handle this 20 minutes later.
Okay, put the things or the thing on. Okay, put in my headphones. Okay, good, put on my headphones. Okay, where are my fuck?
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Headphones.
Is there Benny Hill music here while Boogie scrambles back to stories? So now, if you can't do that, I raise back to storage to get the headphones, but the person next to me is no God. So I'm like, well shit, I might as well drag everything back out of the car. And now here we are for very fast.
This is what doing a show. This is what doing a podcast when you don't have your own love lab or a studio. And people by the thousands, by the hundreds of thousands are recording on Zencaster doing this kind of shit to make a show happen for you. So here we are.
P show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind. Recording on Zencaster where without submissive dominance would just be lonely, missfits hanging around the house threatening to spank the cat. I'm half girl. Bravo!
Thank you. Three people in my mission every episode to come up with something new and I do it every time. Three points on that because who wouldn't spank the cat? Who wouldn't spank the cat?
If you have a cat, if you have a cat, do you know how many pillows I have spanked? Do you know how when I first started path girl, when I first started like in the actual lifestyle and I had to learn stuff, so I don't want to interview people. So I'm learning stuff. Dude, I had that and I used to talk about it on the show.
I had a like a weightlifting bench, like a bench press branch that you lay on that's like two feet off the ground and I would lean that against the wall and then I would flog it and practice my flogging to make sure that I get in the right spot. So you don't have people directly in the spine or in the kitties or fucking in the side of the head. But I did aftercare on the workout bench. I would literally beat the shit out of it and then I would rub its back and I'd be like, have you learned what you need to learn from me?
Good. That's a good workout bench. I might have licked it a couple times. Just to get practice and nibbled on the cushion.
It has a cushion. There's a cushion. It's soft. You're practicing.
That's how I'm covered in sweats. No, I'm sorry. You confused me and workout benches meaning that I have to work out on the workout bench where I would get sweaty. No, no, that's not true.
It was pretty virginal and it tasted like a good workout bench. What's going on with you? Anything fun with you? Hanging out in cemeteries?
Running? Looking for headphones? You're putting Legos inside of your ass? No, no, no, not my kink.
Not my kink. Anyway, I have not had that much kinky shenanigans because I have not been running anywhere. I'm still in a stupid boot with my foot. Hopefully Monday I'll be free from the boot.
But I did have some fun this weekend. We had a late kinky Thanksgiving early kinky Christmas party at the 1900 house at Dr. Cat's house where we had a nice little kinky white elephant Christmas gift exchange. Those are fun.
Especially when it's kink. When it's kink, it's fun. When it's like, oh, soap on the rope. That's exciting.
Everybody brought their A game as far as kink gifts. First person goes and picks a gift and people can steal stuff. I am now the proud owner of a gorgeous Tiger Rataan King. My first King.
It is Rataan. Rataan. Rataan Rataan. Doc had picked up two at CCFF and put one into the kinky gift exchange.
As soon as I saw it, I'm like, oh, the, somebody stole the gift for me and I stole one back. I went with the King. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous.
Tiger Prince. I can't wait to break it in. I had to wait a little bit longer when my foot heals. You don't have to hit your fucking foot with a cane.
It's not all about the nano. I wanted to try that. I've also had bronchitis. My name is this.
I watched a couple of really good scenes. I watched one of my friends do a rubber band scene where she was, yes, those rubber bands that used for the garbage cans. She had them around her legs and her body and stuff. The top that was playing with her was doing impact play and then pulling on the rubber bands.
At the end of the scene, we actually each grabbed a rubber band and it's after all the same time. Like you do in a loving community. That's, you snap to stay together. That is, first off, backtracking, Boston, auto for our new listeners is a punishment caning of the feet.
So you hit the beat with the cane and yes, sometimes it's on the bottoms or wherever you hit the fucking foot. Try to avoid the ankles and whatever. But yes, it's a foot torture and it's a lot of fun. And you don't have to do it that hard to get the impact literally.
Just a teeny little tap. Can you or tickle or fuck someone up? It's actually that's fun. But rubber bands is, this is once again to if we have new people welcome, welcome to this magical lifestyle where your mind is the limit of your creativity and how to create sensations on people and different types.
Rubber band like is, we can do anything here. You can pick up anything and you know, as long as it's relatively safe and you learn some places where to do and not, you can literally create a play scene and I've done it with a toothpick. A toothpick, a rubber band, a spatula, your hand. You don't have to spend a billion dollars to start exploring sensations with your partners.
You can use, I mean, obviously some things can cause allergic reactions and give splinters and things like that. So you have to be careful with those things. But in general, you really, because I've still to this day here people going, oh, how much your toys and blah, blah, blah, oh my god, dude, look, an entire rubber band scene, which was incredible and fun. And at the end, you know, became a community fucking kicker in the tit.
That's fucking so awesome. And actually, even all the kinky toys that Donas and I gave for the kinky gift exchange, I found at one of my local bin places, these places that do like Amazon clearance, a book on rope tying knots, a huge wooden cheese board, a big wooden paddle. And I actually found a six, oh, this is funny, a six pack of the male masturbator eggs. Have you seen these?
Wait, wait, a male mass, does that mean to shove up an answer? No, no, it's actually it's a six pack of eggs. And when you open up the egg and twist it open, it's a male, like almost like a flesh like without the tube inside of an egg. Inside of an egg.
Okay. Oh, so the egg is just the case for it. The egg is case for it. Yeah.
How big of an egg? Cause you know, like a like a jumbo size egg, but I mean, the sleeve itself, it's like a long age. But it's like, I'm like, I'm not, you know, I'm not, you know, Mr. massive here, but I'm pretty sure my dick's bigger than a fucking chicken egg.
So yeah, no, but it's a masturbation sleeve inside the egg. But it's a six pack. And I found that at one of my local clearance places, because actually I had to tell the girl behind the counter what it was because she was like, what is that? I'm like, do you got to find the piece of leaves?
She goes, no, why? I'm like, those are male mass, mass, mandatory sleeves. And she goes, what? And I show her, and she's like, I'm trying to figure out what it is.
Oh man, the Amazon fucking clothes out and strikes again. Once again, each item was under $5. You can, you can get your king gone for next to nothing people. Oh, that's, all of a sudden, now I'm like, well, you know, I don't have a master bater sleeve.
I have a set of sets, another set of six sitting next to me. I can send to you. That was a lot of essence. I'm both excited.
Jenova is the only one that's calm right now. And we're now 10 miles away from her. But yes, that is wonderful. Well, I mean, sounds like surely a fun gift exchange.
And once again, I like that we got to be able to get into that. Because sometimes, you know, as you play and you become more experienced and you're here, well, of course, you go, if you have events near you and you see vendors and people that make toys and then you make toys and then you each kind of, you know, get creative together and get ideas from each other. Obviously, you're going to acquire toys. And then at some point, you are going to want to acquire some well-made toys, nicer toys that maybe are a little more expensive.
You may spend $100 or $150 on a good vlogger, but you're going to have that vlogger for your entire career and take good care of it. So it can be, you know, some of the things can be or a good whip or, you know, there's, you know, obviously things start to cost money as you go up. But in general, just to get started, there are so many things you can do, you know, just walking into a cheapy dollar, you know, close-out store. And it really is exciting, really, really exciting stuff.
When people listen to those close-up questions, boogies, what will feel the tension? We must go to Reddit. People who send fuck up problems. We get some shit on Reddit.
On the way, we try to solve them. Okay. Okay, my love, my sweet, my darling, my sweet, darling, by the way, my other sweet, darling, love, Kathy. Remember, Kathy?
I just wanted to say hi to everyone from Kathy. I talked to Kathy because it was her birthday. It was her birthday yesterday. And it's funny.
So I call and she's like, how do you remember my birthday? Because I haven't talked during a few months. And she's like, that's so sweet. That's what I can't believe.
And I'm like, you do realize you are the only human being in the world, the only fucking human being in the world. That my phone has a thing in its calendar that lets me know. Wow. I haven't heard that spot yet, folks.
You never will. I didn't put it in there. I think it was either you or a biz a million years ago, probably you. She's like, do you want a setting to know when Kathy's birthday?
I was like, yeah, I was like 10 years ago. And so literally it just comes up and then I'm like, oh, it's Kathy's birthday. I'll call her. And then she's like, you remember my birthday?
I'm like, well, sorta. She's like, God, you suck so fucking bad. But I'm gonna go over there and have dinner with her at her place. And so she's hanging in there.
And so she sends some love to all you guys. She misses you guys and thinks you're great. I just added that in actually myself. She didn't say any of that.
She actually hit. No, I'm just fucking kidding. Of course she misses you. Just like starting shit.
Every time I talk to you, there has to be a certain amount of shit talking and trolling. But anyway, we have a fun, it's not necessarily fun, but the outcome can be very, very positive. And this topic can go in so many ways. But in general, it makes me kind of, it ups my flags.
It's a flag. It's a flag striker for me. But then it's also something that I identify with because I remember some of the things that it could be. So let's get to it.
It's a Reddit topic. I'm just gonna paraphrase what the topic is because we don't get permission from these people. So we have a situation. Here's a couple, been together for a little while, mid 30s.
She's the switch. He's the Dom. And I give the parentheses around Dom. She has years of experience.
She's been a 24 seven submissive slave for like eight years. She's owned to herself. So this woman has a lot of experience. And when they started, he said, oh, I'm a soft Dom, which I've never really heard that term.
But I understand what it means. And so she thinks, obviously there's chemistry between them and you're gonna start something with somebody that's a little more serious. And so she's like, well, I was with a hard Dom for eight years. Maybe it'll be nice to just be a little relaxed for a while.
They're poly. So they have some choices. So fast forward, getting deeper into the relationship. He's not a soft Dom.
He's in her opinion, kind of not a Dom at all. And she's not being mean, but it's just, you know, she has to initiate and direct all the play. He stops and apologizes constantly because he feels he did something too hard. They have safe words.
She's never used a safe word. But he's still, but he's, but no, I'm just saying, he thinks he's going too hard. And she's like, I've never used a safe word. So she's trying to tell him, no, you haven't, you can go harder, please go harder.
And but he still is kind of like dismissive of it. And it's like, you know, no, no, no, this is too much. Like he's speaking for her, right, right, in this situation, you know, so it gets worse. He feels guilty.
He says he wants to worship her and that he likes the like a joke. He likes the bottom from the top. And it's trying to see her this is going. So it's driving her crazy.
And she's literally, she won't do it because she, you know, she's been in real relationships. It's disrespectful. But she's literally ready to flip the script on him and you know, grab him and fucking throw him down and fuck him. But she doesn't.
She doesn't. But you know, she's told him, here's where it starts to get weird for me. And as if this wasn't already starting to show a lot of writing on the wall, she's told him specifically what she wants multiple times and how hard she wants it. And he gives dismissive excuses like, oh, that's because you were treated bad in the past blah, blah, blah.
And every time she brings it up, it's like he's giving some misdirection comment or excuse about, you know, instead of just saying, I am not this. Instead of being honest, he's just, he's trying to make it like, no, no, no, this is right. And once again, it's not evil. It's not like he's trying to be mean or whatever.
But there's some bad signs here. So it could go multiple ways. It could have a good outcome. It could have a very toxic outcome.
So I'll let you go ahead and go. Well, one of the other key things that they're also poly. So the opportunity to open up their relationship is already there. So that that's there.
Okay, to backtrack for a second. So for people who don't know, you know, soft arm versus hard dog hard, hard dog is what you probably see on like TV and movies where it's just a person who just seems mercilessly beating where a soft arm may be somebody who has a firmer hand but it's not going to bark orders or may say, please and thank you, you know, go go be my table. Go. Thank you.
And even things like that. I'm beginning to think, I love this post as soon as I saw this, I thought, Oh my God, that's amazing. I think this guy quite honestly is not a dominant all. I think I don't know how much she didn't say how much experience he had, but there's a difference between a soft Dom and someone who's not a dominant at all.
And I think also he's even said in the post, I think he's confusing being aggressive in bed or slapping the ass in the hallway with being a Dom. You can be somebody like Donis will smack me on the ass when I walk in the kitchen or he'll pull my hair for a quick second and give me a kiss. He's not a dominant, you know, he's doing a dominant activity, but he's not a dominant in that role. A dominant is somebody who leads, a dominant is somebody who gives an order and expects it to be followed.
If not, there's punishment. I don't think this guy's a dominant all and I understand her frustration because believe me, I've been there. I'll probably have a ton of listeners up in there. Sure, sure.
But there, and especially if she's giving clear cut, I want ABC and D and he's just skirting the issue, there's zero communication there. So maybe that she because she has something is experienced, she's intimidated by it because, you know, and it's just, like, I understand his point about like, oh, you had these hard drums, you would treat it badly. No, if she was with a hard dominant before, if there was something she didn't like, she could say for and if he still can't do it, then fuck him, you leave. But I don't know what kind of negotiation they started with, but it sounds like they just jumped into everything and it's just, there was no communication, no feeling it out scenes.
I mean, the first couple of scenes you do with somebody, of course, you're not going to be sitting there, they're not going to be perfect and be like, oh, sorry, that this wrong or whatever. But, you know, after a while, you fall into a rhythm, but it's just like these guys are so mismatched. It's just a very bad situation. Well, I agree with you.
I agree. And I'm going to first start with the positives because there is a situation where he could have maybe he's not going to be the super hard disciplinarian dominant. Right. Maybe he's not going to be that authority because I'm not.
And I had to kind of go through this. Like, I hit for, you know, when I started, I'm like, yeah, I'm going to be the like, you know, super protocol and color this and do this and kneel this and wear down my brow. And then very quickly, I'm like, I don't even fucking enjoy that. Right.
I don't even like it's just fucking, that's just work I'm not into. You know, I like, you know, I had to come to terms with what my dominance, you know, the difference between my, my sadism and my dad, he is, you know, I had to really find who I was. And some of those insecurities like, Hey, is this right? You know, we were trained to not hit women.
Right. I was, you know, I was, and I think that's a good thing that you have those concerns and that you go through that kind of battle with yourself to understand that it's not about, you know, whether or not it's right or wrong to hit a woman, it's whether or not it is right in this relationship, if it is consensual, if this is something that the other person is enjoying because they are a masochist or they want that challenge, just like I deserve my, you know, whatever, if I want to be in sports or contact sports or whatever that I allow my partner to enjoy those types of things too, that's a, that's a progress. That's a, that's a thing I have to go through. So it may be him having to go through that.
If he's trying to convince her that she doesn't really want it hard, so she can want him and only want him. And even though they're poly, that's why I said, yeah, they're poly, but he's still going, no, no, no, still give me the chance first. And I've got a few back and forth with her since then. And, and it seems like, you know, it's not a bad thing.
That's why I keep saying it's not a bad relationship. But if he's trying to be like, yeah, I don't want you to go do this with another dude. Now you have poly issues. Right.
Now, and there's nothing right because I do, I have those issues. It's fucking, if you are not somebody who is completely compersion, which is loving, you know, that your partners go play with other people. Right. I don't.
If you are not that type of person who wants to be emasculated, that I'm not dominant for my partner. That's a whole, that would be a horrible feeling. If I've done that, I've been, I've played with people who they needed way more than I was interested in giving. They wanted, you know, and I do, you know, I do a lot of stuff, but there's the next levels.
There's always another level of extremity. And I have to know my limit to say, I'm not going to be able to do this for you. You need to go find that dominant. And it's an emasculating thing, but in the long run, it's, it's the best for the other person.
And it's the best for me because I don't want to have to just sit there and constant because I know that I'm not doing, you know, I'm not at the level that they need or want. I want to find people that I can challenge and bring up to the next, their next level. I don't want to be with somebody. Yeah, that, you know, I can't do anything for because that's why I that's my dominance, my daddy dominance thing is that I want to build people up.
So if he's struggling with that, that's one thing. The problem is when you try to, the person's trying to talk to you and you're misdirecting their comments to, no, no, that's not actually what you want. What you actually want is what I'm doing. You're actually wrong, you're damaged.
And this can go way toxic. This can get into, you know, what sociopaths do and gaslighting, where it's like, Oh, you want this to be harder. It's because you're damaged. You don't want to be damaged anymore.
Do you? I'm the right way. You need me, me, me, me, me, me. And that turns everything.
So yeah, we're poly, but you know, if you have to do it, then I guess you know, so I'm not saying this is it because I'm not in that I don't know their relationship. You know, we know a fucking post. Yeah, right. Right.
But if it go ahead, no, it's just, I don't think in the beginning, and I've done this with pretty much everybody who have been in the lifestyle, what and I've asked the guys what is it what is being dominant mean to you? And that's been very insightful. And as far as like you said, you're a daddy Dom, you care for people you want to raise them up. I've had hard doms who basically, you know, as soon as that switch flips, it's game on, I've had soft doms where it's just basically like I daddy doms where it's like the more, more caring things.
I don't think they ever had that conversation. I think she's actually, she's looking more for a savist than a dominant. And they could be two completely different people. Some people could be dominance and not sadists.
There are some people that just exert that dominance and don't want to inflict pain or they inflict pain because they know there's submissive or bottom likes it, but they don't like doing it. They don't take a pleasure in it. And it's, you know, he may be a pleasure Dom. He may be something like that, but it boils down to she I don't know if she ever asked him what is being dominant mean to you.
So fine, he's also not listening. And just because somebody likes being hit, just because I like taking on pain, I am not damaged in any way. Okay. I like pain because I like the feelings that it gives me.
I like it brings me to subspace. I like it brings me a sense of closeless and relationship with people that I play with. And they just need to kind of sit down outside the bedroom and start setting some expectations as far as like if we're gonna do a scene together, we're gonna do a basic scene and set a limit of okay, fine tonight, we're gonna try this activity. This is our safe word.
And she may be trying to push him out of his comfort zone. I have a feeling also that's what I'm saying is if you are a new dominance, you have to learn shit. You have to learn shit. So there is and if you have if you are a new dominant and a very experienced submissive, then that is how you can still do that.
Yeah, you can split you can it's it's hell of intimidating, but it's also fucking great. Yes, because you can because the submissive understands your your power exchange. It's not because female dominance have to deal with this too. A male most male submissive miss with Jesus fucking great most male submissives could physically overpower the female dominant.
It's not about the strength or, you know, the hard cornice of it, because it's consensual. You are allowing someone to do these things for it shouldn't be emasculating to have somebody that has a lot of experience and go here are some things outside of the scene and do that kind of teaching and explanation. And then once you go into the scene, the dominant can then assume the power that the submissive is is allowing that that you know, you have now entered into that dynamic. So I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.
And in some ways it helps you to not make as many mistakes. I've been with submissives that had just years of experience. And they also know how to not make me feel like a bitch, you know, they don't talk to me in that way. They say, Hey, these are things that were done.
And then I can ask questions and outside of that placing, we can have an adult conversation where there is no dynamic and I can actually learn from somebody. And that's that's absolutely a positive thing. And they can they can do this. He needs to come to terms with that.
He either has a lot of things to address and deal with or that he's not going to ever be what this person needs in her submissive and be able to deal with the fact in their poly relationship, which he said, okay, you can do it. But I don't know how he feels about it because a lot of guys say, oh yeah, go ahead and do your thing. And then their sense itself starts calling problems. Yeah, they're building resentment and they feel emasculated.
And these are all real feelings. I'm not discounting this guy's feeling definitely because it's because it's weird and it's shitty and it's primal and there's instincts and there's territory and there's, you know, that's all real stuff. But if you're going to be in this relationship, if you guys are close and you care about each other and you're already in, you know, in the beginning, sometimes you make little justifications to yourself, you're like, yeah, it'll get better. Yeah.
He's really like this. Yeah. And she made a point of saying several times that he's got multiple redeeming qualities outside the bedroom. She really loves it.
So it's not like she's just ready to hold down the relationship. She's just, I can understand how frustrating this is because it's just, you know, she said something along the lines, like, I want him to beat me up and look so I look like a candy cane. He's like, I make vanilla fun. And it's like, whoa, you guys are completely opposite ends of the spectrum here.
And it's just, you know, this is, again, where we feed the drums since Leslie, that thousands of times, communication, go get some education, go take a class together, go watch a big king video together, find out there is a way to meet in the middle where, you know, help him to figure out why is he struggling so much. And then she also, as a, you know, she has the experience submissive. You start, you have to kind of ring yourself back in. I had to do that with Donas because he was brand new to the lifestyle.
And here we are, a year and a half later. And we're doing scenes very successfully. I mean, it's not 100% of what I envisioned this relationship to be, but it's awesome. And he's constantly making strides forward and constantly surprising me with stuff that he wants to do.
So it's just, just communication, education, and just patience. It's just, I understand the, you know, coming from a 24 seven, eight year hard relationship going into this could be like stepping back into the kitty pool. But you got to start somewhere. Yeah.
I mean, from all the other comments, it seems like they are going to talk it out. You hope for the best. Once again, we don't know, we're just talking about something that was written, and we know nothing about these humans. So, so hopefully it's a situation that can work out.
But it is important to also point out that if it doesn't work out and it does get worse, then that is going to be a lot of suffering in a relationship. You kind of have to be who you are. I don't want to be in a relationship where I don't have my partner that wants the same, that we're not on the same page. With what we want.
And just a quick back, you said there's no dominance at sadism. I forget what it was. Well, there's a difference between being a dominant and being a sadist. You can be a dominant.
But you can be a sadist and not be a dominant. Yes. Yes. You can be, because I like, I like welting and bleeding and cutting and doing these things.
And I like giving pain, but I just don't necessarily feel that I'm a high protocol dominant. No. And so whatever you want to call that, I like giving pain when I know that it challenges my bottom and I get off on the screams and moans and stuff like that. But for me, I do.
This is, I know what my limit is. And I don't, I'm not excited about more than that. And then also keep pointing said multiple times. Don't push your dominant passion limits, semisives.
Don't do it. Yeah, it's just, it may not, it's not going to usually go. And, but hopefully the best works out. It was a great topic, just a fantastic topic.
I think you and Donis are a great example of this working out and improving. I'm glad you brought that up at the end, because I'm like, wait a minute, this is path girl, right here. Yeah. This is a success story that you guys are having a good relationship right now.
And he's, he's laying cool stuff on you. So fantastic. Thank you so much to our, our, our Reddit, our Reddit for posting that is very brave. It was a vulnerable thing to post.
Fantastic. Your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times. I will keep my hands and arms inside the vehicle, because you're going to be sitting next to me, Enigma. Oh my.
Oh my. Have you ever fooled around on any amusement park rides with a partner? Not yet. No.
Oh, I have a enigma. Let me tell you something. There is an art to fingering a girl on the Pirates of the Caribbean. There is an art to it, and it can be done cleanly and without drawing any attention to yourself.
And I have, I've mastered this technique. Is it called a remote control toy? Well, no, no, you can, you can definitely do a remote control toy. And, and that is actually probably the easiest and least invasive way.
But on, if you go, well, there's no slow days at Disneyland, and I'm never going to go to Disneyland again. So I don't give a fuck if people from Disneyland hear this and go, don't ever let this person in the park again. Don't care. But on a slow day, you could go into the Pirates of the Caribbean when they used to have slow days when, you know, the cars weren't all full, and you could take the back seat, and then you would sit, and then she would kind of sit like she was leaning back on your chest, like using you as a headrest.
Right. Right. And then you have your arm around her, and you can literally just, it's right there. You can just slide your hand down once the ride gets going below the line of sight and, and do the diddle.
And that's yo-ho, yo-ho, yo-ho, a Pirates fucking life for me. Hell, yeah. But I'm only dealing in memories, Enigma. You actually have partners.
I do actually have partners. So I don't want wiping in your face that you haven't fingered a girl on the Pirates of the Caribbean, but that was like 20 years ago. So why don't you give us some real time adventures? Well, for the listeners, Saturday before recording this was my birthday.
And birthday, you're like, what 23 now? I mean, some people, I have the baby face, so some people still think I'm in my mid-20s, but no, I'm actually 36. Really? Yeah.
I really did think you were at top 3132. Well, thank you. You suck. What'd you do for your birthday?
So I worked a little bit because capitalism. But then I went to a U-L party that I helped coordinate. And then it was really fun. My part of the party was I actually had about three lovely humans volunteer to be human to face.
And so I covered them in banana leaves and then put food on top of the banana leaves. And then as food was consumed, you remove the banana leaf and reveal the beautiful person underneath. I like that one. I like that.
I mean, you've heard the ones where people eat, but you're like actually discover a person. It's like one of those games where, yeah. Yeah. Well, because there's like three ways to do it.
You put it directly on the person which is fine for a smaller party and stuff, but for hygienic purposes, maybe not the best plan. Sure, sure. And then some people will do Saran Wrap, which does work well, but the person within the Saran Wrap can't last as long because you are fully in case you get hot. And so I have found that the banana leaves work the best if anybody is listening and wants to do this sort of thing simply because they're super easy.
And then disposable, like they're biodegradable as you just throw them away or like either room in the bonfire we had. And so they burned up and it was just, you had a bonfire? Oh, it's you. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, it was really cool.
And then afterward, one of the tables was my partner D. And then afterward, we went out and later in the party, we went, there was a there was a sex area at the party. And we went over there. We were just like talking and getting ready to go in and she was like, she basically gets down and I want to sit right at your face and I was like, okay.
Yeah, that's fine. Merry fucking Christmas. Merry you. And what was really funny was I, at one point, I hummed Happy Birthday to me while her face was on my mouth.
And well played, sir. Thank you. And you know, she didn't dumb me. So like, I definitely win win for me.
That's a fucking keeper. Right. Right. Right.
I definitely dated people that would have dumped me for doing that. It was great. Oh, that is that. Well, it's good birthday.
It was a good birthday. It's a very good birthday. And the banana things, genius, just perfect. Thank you.
It's a perfect. Yeah. You can get out here. The banana leaves are you can buy just bunches of them.
I mean, if you have a garden or a friend's garden, I wouldn't suggest going to your neighbor's place and hacking off their banana leaves unless they were a pervert and you're like, bro, this is going to be on naked bodies and then they're like, well, take the fucking leaves. They'll grow back. But that's I especially like the reveal. What is the game where you reveal stuff and like memory, like a memory game almost?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You have to reveal things. And then there's a picture at the end.
Maybe I'm just thinking of all those perverted hentai games that I play where there's a naked girl and then you have to match the things. And then that's why I got so excited. But I'm I'm a lonely person. Well, that is fantastically brilliant.
And I'm really glad you had a good birthday and you had some excitement and having Happy Birthday fucking like a lot of points. You earned a lot of points on this one. That is exceptional. What we do have, this is this whole show episode 392 is kind of the like, let's explore the good and bad of being a dominant.
Okay. Pathgar and I had a dominant conversation before that was really good. And this one is really good. And I think both of them have this giant spectrum attached to them.
And that is because sometimes we get very triggered very easily. You know, we've been trained. If anyone does this or anyone says this, it's automatically bad. Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run.
And and I think yes, absolutely. And a lot of times it is that way. But also a lot of times well, sometimes there's a bigger picture and we don't know because we're just reading a post. But I think it's important because I have been the judgmental person before in situation.
I know you wouldn't believe it because I'm so pure and amazing. But I have no way. Yes, I have been the douche in the wrong. And then somebody's like, Hey, what if it's this or this?
What about these points of you? And then you're like, Oh, well, well, that that wouldn't I'm a dick. That's why that's why. So I think it's really important to see because sometimes you could miss out on something really good because you you haven't looked at all the different points of view, you just automatically you get that trigger five people have told you that this automatically means this.
So this is a great one of those. So it's a Reddit post. And it was somebody met a Dom at a much a Dom A and they exchanged information. They had a lot of chemistry.
They started communicating. They were clicking the boxes. You know, this was looking really good. But a flag popped up when that the dominant mentioned that well, she doesn't necessarily enjoy punishing her subs, but she does so because she doesn't want them to become too independent.
So the person who is relatively new is like, does that likely mean she doesn't want me to be my own person, not to have her own thoughts or to only think about serving her and not any of my other things, which of course, too many people, it's like, Oh, that's a big giant trigger, which it is. I'm not saying it's not. I'm not saying it doesn't put up a flag, but they're, but in this multi dynamic, multi faceted, multi desired on both ends lifestyle, there may be other things to it. So I wanted to explore that.
I will let you go first. Yeah. So yeah, like I say, I agree. I think there's at least two sides to this.
On one side, it's the super negative. You have a dominant who is incredibly, I mean, they're a little bit open about it, but they want somebody that they can control and manipulate and basically do their bidding and all that sort of thing. You can kind of see that on a lot of the people that have been popping up on that life in the last five, five, 10 years of people who are like the dominant women who are like, you will obey me and I will, you will respond to me with these specific misters and immediately and all this sort of stuff. Like they just, they just want a toy and they don't want autonomy.
But on the other hand, I think a good question for this person to ask is, is this a playful thing? Are they like, I don't want them to be too independent? Like, is it going to be something that's in the dynamic, but not necessarily in the relationship? And is it something that the two people can negotiate, like where the boundaries are?
Because if she's just like not, she doesn't want, like it's one of those, I don't want somebody with limits, then yeah, that's a big red flag and that's something you want to avoid. But if it's somebody who's like, I don't want someone to be an independent, but what they really want to do is they want to play with a brat or they want to play with somebody who has some fight fighting them and because they enjoy that power dynamic, then I think that could be really fun. And I think that would be fun to pursue. But yeah, I think the the redder definitely would need to dig a little deeper because like, you know, on the brighter side, like on the silver lighting, maybe they are a good person, but like, you want to you want to double check, especially if there's somebody who's going to be maybe tying you down or maybe putting him in some sort of precarious position.
So you don't want to get into those positions before you really know. I think, first off, like seven or eight fantastic points in in what you were saying. I'm scratching a bunch off my page, which is good. So I'll try to find things that maybe you didn't mention because for me, at first glance, the flag goes up because they didn't say whether or not this was negotiated as the dominant was asking them about themselves.
Do they have challenges? Do they have specific goals and things that they need to go through where giving up that independence in a dynamic is important because that's part of a lot of people are going through certain challenges like, you know, like with Mu, Mu, Mu, Mu had to get into med school. So she did not want to study as much as she needed to. Therefore, the power dynamic was I had the authority to step in and, you know, basically force her to do the things because it was for her betterment.
It was there was a goal in that. And that shouldn't be ignored. A lot of people that are new into the lifestyle now are hearing a lot of this sensitive trigger warning stuff, which isn't necessarily bad, but you're missing what a lot of people desire, what a lot of submissives desire about a 24 seven total power exchange dynamic. That dynamic is very real for certain people.
There are submissives that do come in and want to literally have whatever their current identity, their current life, they want that rebooted. Whatever they've done in their life to this point hasn't worked for them, hasn't made them happy. They want to go on a new journey. The same way as people who joined like a spiritual path, a restrictive spiritual path, or joined the military or joined, there are many things in life where people get their entire who they are today broken down and then rebuilt up into something that's hopefully productive and positive and takes them away.
Some people have negative behaviors that they've had or, you know, any numbers, things, drugs, trauma, blah, blah, blah. And they and because of that, they've piled on all of these poor lifestyle choices. So if you get into a DS dynamic, which a lot of people do, with a dominant that has earned your respect, that you feel this person has a good plan for your life, that they have a plan for you, that they have your best interests involved, that yes, they're going to break down your behaviors and train you to be in service to them, how they choose. And maybe some of the things that's the word submission, maybe some of the things they ask you to do you don't necessarily want to do.
Maybe there's going to be challenges for you, you know, you always have the ability, there's no law that slavery is real, you can leave at any time, you can say no at any time that according to what we know that. But to give yourself to somebody that has the respect that you believe has a plan that things that you don't know, some you may come into a situation in life and maybe this person has a lot of maturity, they've been down the road, they've seen a lot of things, or they just have a better plan than you've had. In those cases, you can have a very, very healthy relationship while having your independence basically stripped from you. And there's a number of people, there are lots and lots of people that want that.
So in that case, if the dominant says I'm going to strip away your independence and you're going to do what I say, then that is a voluntary consensual entering into that dynamic, hopefully with the hope of it being positive at the end. And a lot of people don't talk about that now in a lot of the groups, because everyone is very afraid of having it be the toxic way where the dominant doesn't know what the fuck they're doing. They don't understand the responsibility and commitment of literally rebuilding somebody into new behaviors that are hopefully better for them in the long run. They just like the fantasy version of it like you talked about where they just want somebody to just suck their dick or like their pussy whenever they want and they have that script in their head.
But I have met incredible dominance and masters that literally took somebody who was floundering in their life and felt that they needed that type of structure, that type of support to break down all of their shitty ideas and to build them to that next level and have seen some people become amazingly powerful submissives and slaves that then evolve to a level to where then they started themselves becoming dominant and leading other people in that extreme amount of breaking down of independence. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, like especially if you're just dabbling in a lifestyle, because this person also sounds kind of like they might be on the newer side. Yeah, it doesn't sound like this person is looking for that.
Right, right, exactly. So in that case, somebody who says right up front, hey, I'm going to break down your independence, you, that's where you get to say, hey, you know, you check a lot of my boxes, but I like who I am right now. I think I'm doing pretty good. I can always, you know, we can always use a little bit of encouragement on a couple challenges, but I don't need to be stripped away.
Right. And that's not good. Yeah, and like, I want to know what you mean by that. Yes.
Yeah, I think that that's an like, if they are checking a lot of boxes and they seem like it might be a cohesive thing, like there's there's things that you and I don't agree on. And there's like, you know, life, life goals that maybe D and I don't necessarily share, but there she checks a lot of my boxes. And so like, we have had those conversations about like what certain things mean and where boundaries are and and stuff like that. So like, you know, there are things that we can we can work through and come up with.
So like, this might just be them being playful over over sexting. And you need to find out what that means. Because otherwise, you know, you might get into either, well, be too cautious and completely avoid a relationship that might have actually been beneficial and they were just kind of being playful or you get to pursue this thing that could be really good. So I think that this right over could dig in a little deeper.
But definitely a virtual question. Because like, like we talked about on the podcast before, like predators come in all shapes, size, genders, gender expressions, whatever. So like, just because they're a dummy doesn't mean that they're not looking out or they're not pursuing something negative. Absolutely.
And I think once again, it just keeps coming back to that same thing, like you're saying the more if you have a if you have people that are willing to have a conversation with you and explain themselves, then you're already in a winning position. Because like you said, you're going to, you know, if people are absolute right out of the gate, this is the way I do things. This is it. They have the right to do that.
And if you're looking for that then fucking okay, risk-aware consensual kink, you are on the risk end. But when somebody is willing to explain themselves and they can show you that I'm not doing this to be an authoritarian fucking Nazi asshole, I'm doing this because I want you, I don't want to broke down submissive. I want somebody that I can encourage to become stronger as I myself am working to be stronger, because a lot of some dominance, they're just what are you, you know, you're going to tell me how to become a better person will show me this is like me, this is why I'm not a dominant right now. Hey, train wreck, you're going to make me a better person.
Why don't you fucking look in the mirror fucker? But I think when people are willing to communicate, you can find, oh, that's I don't mean that. You know, I don't mean, you know, that I'm going to do horrible things to you and try to break you down. But you know, like you said with you and D, you have found ways that even though you don't agree on certain things that you are able to make those compromises and negotiations to where these are the things that can be positive and those other things, if we can leave those out, because we have a lot of chemistry, you can end up having a great time with someone.
I like it. I, because I noticed that a lot of the things I'm reading, and once again, I read what I read, I don't read the whole internet, I don't read all of that life, I don't read everything on, you know, so I can't be an expert on what everyone is doing, but I have noticed in the last couple of years, I'm seeing more posts that are quick to point out the predatory nature of that, and kind of not acknowledge that there is this entire dynamic where the it is dominance and submission and the submission means the dominant is sometimes going to tell you to do things that you may not want to do. And you submit to that the same is in military, you know, the military is all dominance and submission and every every step of the way, there are the lower that submit to the authority of the commanding officer above them, that commanding officer is now among commanding officers that has to submit to the next authority higher to them without fucking question. And then they are, you know, and it's like a hierarchy that moves up.
So we understand dominant and submission, but sometimes we we get caught up and going, no, it's just for play and anyone that makes it not for play is a predator. And that's just not true. Right. It's just not always true.
So talk it out and be willing if somebody has something, especially if you're new, if somebody has things that you've talked it out and it doesn't look like it's a good match for you, or something that you desire to challenge yourself with, fucking get out. Just bail, just bail, it'll find someone for play play. And one possibility that I just thought about, because it's something that I've kind of fallen into a little bit, we talked about my white knight side, this person might be wanting to control the sub in like of, we already talked about unhealthy ways, but unhealthy ways for them, like they want to, it's almost like micromanaging, they want to take care of they want to like do so like, that's another thing you want to watch out for. I just wanted to get that in is like, clarify a little bit.
Yeah, just expand on that a little bit. Like, what are they watching it? Like, what's the negativity? So, like, like, my white knight is specifically for people who are like, I've dated people who, for one reason or another brought it out of me of like wanting to fix them, wanting to take care of them, wanting to save them, wanting to do all those sort of things.
So, they're looking for somebody who's not necessarily independent, but there's somebody that they are able to kind of enact control over and mold them and that sort of thing. Like, we started talking manipulative, but this is a whole other level of wanting to be there only and all that sort of stuff. Right, okay. Yeah, it's just a more extreme version of the wanting to control them.
It's wanting to control them at it without really worrying about themselves. It's just, yeah. Okay, no, I was going to say, so by isolating them and you're building yourself up is to be this great person, but you're isolating them from other opinions and outside sources that may show them that you're not actually the white knight. Yes.
That's okay. Yeah, yeah, that absolutely makes sense. That's a fantastic point. There's so much.
There's so much here. That's a cover, but hopefully we started a good discussion with people that they understand that there's so many different roads and that some of those roads may seem, you know, at first glance really negative, but if you go a little bit deeper, sometimes it's good to just take that extra conversation and then find out, oh, you aren't actually a shitty person. You know, you just, you know, maybe your comment didn't land right. So you explain that.
Fantastic. Really good. Really good. Great points, Enigma.
Thank you so much for having this conversation with me. If those kooky, nutty, uh, fat, fat, fat life, if those kooky, nutty perverted podcast kids want to learn more about Enigma's banana leaf fetishes, where are they going to go? Well, if they want to find that they can just look me up. But if they want to talk to perverted podcast, they can find us on Instagram, perverted podcast, they can find us on X, perverted Bcast and they can find us on life.
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Thank you so much, our lovely listeners. Oh, there's a two, two train. Oh, there's a train by running through my soul. But you know what sucks?
Just gotta end the show with all of a sudden now I'm starting to fight like after all the mayhem to get the show started. I'm all of a sudden relaxed and now it's fucking over. I'm like sad now. I'm like, I want to do more show.
I like doing the show. This is episode 392. If you are just joining us or you are someone who's only been here a little while we have done 392 episodes. And at the end of the show, I want to keep doing shows.
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And we'll see you guys on the next episode. And there's the chaos you come to know folks. Let's see on the next show. Bye.