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(4/4) Sexual Grooming & Self-Harm: An NIE Counsellor’s Perspective | ft. Bernard Mackenzie episode artwork

EPISODE · Nov 26, 2025 · 23 MIN

(4/4) Sexual Grooming & Self-Harm: An NIE Counsellor’s Perspective | ft. Bernard Mackenzie

from Not Your Old Uncle · host Alvin Lim

Sexual grooming is often an ambiguous space that starts with attention, "love-like" relationships, or even a professional massage that feels just a little "off". But for parents, spotting the difference between a caring coach and a predator is incredibly difficult. In this episode, we are joined by Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at the NIE Wellness Centre, to discuss the uncomfortable realities of child abuse, sexual grooming, and the hidden psychology behind teenage self-harm. We move beyond the headlines (like the Ian Fang case) to understand what actually constitutes abuse and why traditional "tough love" might be masking a bigger problem. Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager, NIE Wellness Centre KEY TOPICS: - What is sexual grooming? Understanding the "ambiguous space" in student-coach relationships. - The "Ian Fang" case: How grooming often begins with attention and digital communication. - The Red Flags: Why a sudden change in dressing (covering up OR revealing more) can be a sign of abuse. - Understanding Self-Harm: Why cutting is often "cathartic" for teens rather than just attention-seeking. - The Protocol: Steps to take if you suspect your child is being groomed or abused. ► NIE WELLNESS CENTRE RESOURCES If you need support or wish to connect with the centre: www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre 6790 3318 | [email protected] ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (ABUSE & FAMILY VIOLENCE) National Anti-Violence Hotline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24/7) NAVH Reporting: www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/break-the-silence Find your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC): www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (MENTAL HEALTH) Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (Hotline) | 9151 1767 (WhatsApp) | www.sos.org.sg Institute of Mental Health (IMH): 6389 2222 | www.imh.com.sg ► CONNECT WITH NOT YOUR OLD UNCLE Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle ► ABOUT OUR PODCAST 'Not Your Old Uncle' is a podcast for curious adults (40+) in Singapore and Southeast Asia. We tackle the new rules of life, career, finance, and health with modern insights—not outdated "uncle" wisdom. Hosted in English (with occasional Chinese episodes). Subtitles available in English and Chinese. / 提供中英文字幕. 🛑 DISCLAIMER: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by guests on 'Not Your Old Uncle' Podcast are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Authentic Legacy Media. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns. 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 00:00:51 - Ian Fang & Sexual Grooming 00:02:10 - The "Ambiguous Space" in Coaching 00:04:47 - Story: The "Nice Coach" Predator 00:06:42 - Reporting Abuse to Schools 00:08:22 - Behavioral Signs of Abuse 00:10:15 - Sudden Changes in Dressing 00:11:22 - Understanding Self-Harm & Parasuicide 00:12:45 - Why Teens Actually Cut Themselves 00:14:25 - Dangerous Cutting Patterns 00:15:50 - Vaping as an Emotional Escape 00:17:16 - Case Study: Preventing Abuse at Home #NotYourOldUncle #ChildAbuseAwareness #MentalHealthSG #Parenting #Singapore -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

What this episode covers

Sexual grooming is often an ambiguous space that starts with attention, "love-like" relationships, or even a professional massage that feels just a little "off". But for parents, spotting the difference between a caring coach and a predator is incredibly difficult. In this episode, we are joined by Bernard Mackenzie, Manager at the NIE Wellness Centre, to discuss the uncomfortable realities of child abuse, sexual grooming, and the hidden psychology behind teenage self-harm. We move beyond the headlines (like the Ian Fang case) to understand what actually constitutes abuse and why traditional "tough love" might be masking a bigger problem. Guest: Bernard Mackenzie, Manager, NIE Wellness Centre KEY TOPICS: - What is sexual grooming? Understanding the "ambiguous space" in student-coach relationships. - The "Ian Fang" case: How grooming often begins with attention and digital communication. - The Red Flags: Why a sudden change in dressing (covering up OR revealing more) can be a sign of abuse. - Understanding Self-Harm: Why cutting is often "cathartic" for teens rather than just attention-seeking. - The Protocol: Steps to take if you suspect your child is being groomed or abused. ► NIE WELLNESS CENTRE RESOURCES If you need support or wish to connect with the centre: www.ntu.edu.sg/nie/about-us/campus-facilities/nie-wellness-centre 6790 3318 | [email protected] ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (ABUSE & FAMILY VIOLENCE) National Anti-Violence Hotline (NAVH): 1800-777-0000 (24/7) NAVH Reporting: www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/break-the-silence Find your nearest Family Service Centre (FSC): www.msf.gov.sg/our-services/directories ► GET HELP IN SINGAPORE (MENTAL HEALTH) Samaritans of Singapore (SOS): 1-767 (Hotline) | 9151 1767 (WhatsApp) | www.sos.org.sg Institute of Mental Health (IMH): 6389 2222 | www.imh.com.sg ► CONNECT WITH NOT YOUR OLD UNCLE Telegram: @NotYourOldUncle Youtube: @NotYourOldUncle ► ABOUT OUR PODCAST 'Not Your Old Uncle' is a podcast for curious adults (40+) in Singapore and Southeast Asia. We tackle the new rules of life, career, finance, and health with modern insights—not outdated "uncle" wisdom. Hosted in English (with occasional Chinese episodes). Subtitles available in English and Chinese. / 提供中英文字幕. 🛑 DISCLAIMER: The views, opinions, and statements expressed by guests on 'Not Your Old Uncle' Podcast are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Authentic Legacy Media. This discussion is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Please seek professional help for individual concerns. 📌 Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction 00:00:51 - Ian Fang & Sexual Grooming 00:02:10 - The "Ambiguous Space" in Coaching 00:04:47 - Story: The "Nice Coach" Predator 00:06:42 - Reporting Abuse to Schools 00:08:22 - Behavioral Signs of Abuse 00:10:15 - Sudden Changes in Dressing 00:11:22 - Understanding Self-Harm & Parasuicide 00:12:45 - Why Teens Actually Cut Themselves 00:14:25 - Dangerous Cutting Patterns 00:15:50 - Vaping as an Emotional Escape 00:17:16 - Case Study: Preventing Abuse at Home #NotYourOldUncle #ChildAbuseAwareness #MentalHealthSG #Parenting #Singapore -- Hosting provided by SoundOn

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(4/4) Sexual Grooming & Self-Harm: An NIE Counsellor’s Perspective | ft. Bernard Mackenzie

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This episode is 23 minutes long.

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This episode was published on November 26, 2025.

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Sexual grooming is often an ambiguous space that starts with attention, "love-like" relationships, or even a professional massage that feels just a little "off". But for parents, spotting the difference between a caring coach and a predator is...

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