#40 - The Problem With Feeling Justified

However, sometimes the idea of feeling justified or offering a justification isn't as dramatic, as in the example of laying on the horn of your car when someone cuts you off.  No matter what comes to mind when you hear or use the term justified, it's a pretty common feeling. 

When I work with clients, I often get asked "Is that normal?" when they are trying to justify a negative thought, feeling or action. This question comes up in many different situations like "I have too much work, too much responsibility at home and I just want to run away; is that normal?" or "My children aren't following the rules and I just feel like screaming all the time; is that normal?"

What you may be looking for when you ask "Is that normal?" is justification for what you are thinking, how you are feeling or how you are acting.  Often you are experiencing something negative and want to know that it's ok to think and feel that way.

On the one hand it's understandable to want to justify and to feel that it's normal to do so because your brain is offering you over 60,000 thoughts a day.  You are often looking for a legitimate reason why your brain is thinking a certain way in order to be ok with feeling less than great.

On the other hand just because its "normal" doesn't mean it's helpful.  Taking a look at what you've been justifying in your life is some of the most powerful work you can do.

This week I'm going to discuss the problem with feeling justified, the powerful question that you should be asking yourself and how that question can change everything.