400-Stop Competing and Win

We are LOVING the excitement about the Pre-Engaged Workbook, which will be released soon.   (It is supposed to go live today, but isn't available yet... there is a hold-up in the review process. We will let you know once it goes live!)   ---   What I think happens a lot in marriages is a dynamic of competition.    They both want to impress their spouse, and both of them are clawing on top of each other trying to get the other one to notice them and admire them.    They're trying to get their spouse to see that they're doing a good job.   At the very same moment, the other spouse is trying to get them to see that they're doing a good job and trying to impress them.   So each is trying to get their security and their approval and their sense of doing a good job from their spouse. And so this competition takes hold.    Instead of enjoying each other and the gift that they are---in the strengths and the differences---they are competing and they can't see past their own hurt and lack of encouragement from their spouse.    So, what I highly recommend is that you consider if this dynamic is happening in your home.   Are you trying to get compliments and admiration and encouragement from your spouse but getting hurt over and over and over again?   My recommendation is that you listen to this episode to understand how to actually receive the affirmation, the approval, and the encouragement you crave.    The good news is you could actually have both security and affirmation… and change the dynamic from competition to love and generous compliments.   You'll find out how if you listen to today's episode.     Blessings, Belah   PS - Help could be a click away…you're invited to schedule a free Clarity Call at delightyourmarriage.com/cc to see if you're a good fit for our programs. What do graduates say about the results of the program?   "Before I took the program, I thought my wife and I were getting on ok, but as it turned out this was far from the case. It soon became clear that my wife had been feeling very lonely and isolated for years, and this had been showing in her behaviour, which though pleasant, was somewhat aloof and detached emotionally."   "Things moved exponentially, very quickly, though not without struggle and some reverses.. She did not recognise this "new husband" as she put it! …Completely unintentionally I had made my wife feel ignored, not attended to, and taken for granted… Communication was generally businesslike rather than affectionate. …As the program has gone on, huge strides have been made in our marriage. We now spend quality time together most meal times, we've started going out on dates again, we are much more playful than before and we enjoy being with each other. Most importantly, my wife has relaxed, she's begun to trust me, and her true bubbly self is coming out into the open. And it's a delight to see. It almost feels like it used to when we were first dating. Sex has even taken on a completely new appearance."