Oh, oh, that's so good. Oh, am I interrupting something? No, actually you can join in if you'd like no Oh, red red every shade of red. You don't even know what I'm doing You don't even know I'm baby.
I'm huffing peanut butter right now I got a big old jar peanut butter and I'm oh my god men love peanut butter and I am a man. Oh We could totally do a roleplay right now you could be my no we can't you could be my like she dog And I could pretend I could pretend I'm a teenager Like a lonely teenager that's looking at the dog going you'll lick my balls won't you? That was peanut butter was made for god damn it. I am of course joking.
That's that's that's horrible and Horrible way to manipulate somebody. However, that is how I taught you how to give head if you were you remember from long ago the pop rocks Oh gosh. Yeah, so yeah She was like I don't like giving head heads disgusting whatever and then we made a joke one day Like head was something you got on your birthday and I'm like really it's okay If you're not into it, this is not gonna be fun But then some joke came in and she was like well, you know I'd suck your dick if you let me put pop rocks on it and I'd which is a candy that explodes for yeah I'm like yeah, dude go for it. We even shot a video and And then it went and she fucking thought it was great She thought it was funny and we laughed and it put a different thing in her head and then the next time She's like well, what if I put like, you know, cuz she loves sour candies sour gummy candies And so then she started wrapping sour gummies around my dick and she started liking that and this started like happening like every other day She was we were putting stuff on my dick for her to suck off and she just got your cock is a candidate she just got sort of and she just got trained and Then she's like oh my god when you come in my mouth I think candy and I'm like that is not what any person has ever thought but god damn it That is amazing and it totally worked and now she's a so wasn't peanut butter though It gives a whole new meaning to taste the rainbow Oh Ladies and gentlemen now it's time to start a show Hello you peanut butter lovers and welcome to pervert a podcast the show where we explore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind Recording on Zencaster be very very quiet.
We're hunting bottoms I'm back. I'm Kellip oogie and by that intro. I am assuming that it is was time for your annual slave Foxfront thing semi-annual. Thank you very much.
Yes, it was semi-annual two times a year those kids out there They go hunting and chasing for so is it like a fox hunt or is it? Submissive thing explain. Yeah, so okay, so the wing that stables fall and spring hunts is basically There are people it's basically like a fox hunt where you have people who go out is prey and they offer a bounty And then about five minutes later you have hunters going out with paintball guns trying to capture the prey And capture their bounty nice the bonus part is the prey that are captured are brought back to whipping posts And they are put on the post for anywhere from 10 minutes to 45 minutes depending on how fast they get caught and other people can come up and Play with them. So each each prey has a card above their head They basically says what their limits are and what's allowed and what's not allowed some people put out their own toys and say hey Here you can use my toys some people say I only want a funny stuff I want stinky stuff some people are basically like ask my top and their top will be there They're done will be there by the post but yeah, the whole tribe went out to the the the hunt on Saturday You have a grand old time don is actually got to go play with about 10 to 12 different What?
The greatest Carolina Jesus Christ the greatest day of don is his fucking kink career I mean of course next to meeting you next to meeting you of course the great and magical you don't want to get him in trouble I want a wingman for him. So so did he hunt or did he? No, this was his first hunt So I signed them up you can sign up either a prey predator or observer and the majority of us just on it was an observer But the observers can go play with the prey that are captured So he was able to go play with the freighter on the polls. He actually said because why did you sign up as a hunter?
I'm like because it's your first time you need to see how things worked Wow Anyway, that is so amazing like you don't even have to that is my kind of play you don't even have to work for it And you just get to play with ten chicks. That's amazing There was probably about 12 to 15 prey per hunt there were five five rounds We only got to the first four and started raining abyss we had to boogie out literally ha but So when we were driving in the way up, I was like look I am okay with pretty much anything except for your penis going into a female orifice and there's actually no sexual Play during the hunt anyway, but I said obviously just you know go around you when I'm with doc a little bit kind of read the cards and stuff for different people and Basically just kind of go up to one of the bottoms and says hi, you know He brought in the big cheese board paddle. We have like hi. I've got this toy this toy this toy and then the bottle Be like well, let me try that cheese board looks really cool and with you know do some spanking with that One girl.
He used our thick stick kind of cane and she wanted some tittorchers So he was whacking her across the boobs, which he was loving Christ yeah, yeah, oh he did there was one girl who only wanted sexual play So he was basically scraping his nails up and down her body all over her boobs and her button everything. Yeah, she was Yeah, he was having a grand old time fucking dinos Going from wingman to fucking envy fucking fuck this guy fuck you Yeah, doc was doc was out there too with his whip He put his whip on a couple of little girls and actually even talked a couple of guys that were out there too because it's not just It's pretty much anybody can go out right here. I yeah, so like but and in between each heat I'd kind of take the toys back and clean them so that way kind of minimize the the contact on sure sure sure I mean basically anytime so new parade would come out He kind of poke his head around the corner and you know where our tent was and kind of said new praise out I'll see you later new meat gotta go beat Actually, I mean even punched on two girls Wow like butch punching and back punching kind of nice He said that's something he's never done with anyone. He's like that was actually kind of fun I know it's like a big giant depending on how big the girl is you know It's like a ham-hocky just punching him in the butt if you know where to punch because obviously you can hit him in the tailbone And then all of a sudden it becomes super not sexy Um, but yeah, dude, that's fucking great.
Yeah, it's a really cool event. Yeah Wow, he must have been stoked afterwards. Oh, he was he was on cloud nine. I even said to him I was like so how many pairs of boobs did you grab?
And I was like, you know, essentially of course, you know cuz they're but yeah I was we did a head count There's probably between 10 and 12 female bottoms that he played with and he said it was a lot of fun because it was just it was He was good for him to kind of explore different things that he doesn't do with me like the punching or the tit torture or other things And just even just observing other people I mean there are some people that just play really soft and there's some people that is just like they go hard and heavy You know two-handed vloggers two-handed paddles and just like they look like a piece of bruised and battered meat when they're done and they're actually smiling all over Their faces don't they bad a great old time. That's gotta be I mean Donis has been around now and he's been to some parties And he's seen some stuff But I'm telling you as a top when you have those moments where you're coming from the non-kink world and everything is incredibly lag Don't judge my girl. Don't do this. Don't you know Don't you know everything's very monogamous and non-kinky and all of a sudden you go into this world where it's like okay Here's my limits and you can do these things to me and you start playing with a number of people That's like fucking treasure island pretty much.
That's literally like I have so many memories Of like I remember being at a like a little demo e-party and I had my violet wand And I was just learning some bondage and I played with like three or four different women And it was all smiling and happy and fun and learning and I remember just like I was like so I think I talked about it Once on the show and there was this guy who was a big big rope guy in the community really cool guy I always wore like a Mingo merciless jacket hood kind of thing and And I stood next to him after you know like a couple hours and he goes beats the shit out of buying chicks drinks and bars, huh? And I'm like holy fucking shit I love this lifestyle. Yes. Yes.
Yes We had a long deep briefing in the car ride home like I said It started raining the rain was supposed to be all day and thankfully the rain held up for about two thirds of the event But I mean it's a huge event. There's there was 450 people signed up to go not even including staff. Wow. That sounds like a lot of fun Yeah, I'm working on yeah, you definitely need to come down here and yeah I will sponsor and you have to be sitting there up on a jar of peanut butter I'm all hmm, you know starting to think maybe LA's not working out anymore for me She's of course I have to go now and get another half of peanut butter because I'm like in love peanut butter I wish it didn't have fat in it though.
It stops my heart and I get slow No, I won't I like fucking fat bastard. Yeah, I'm not better. Well, I'm glad that you guys had a fantastic time and it's really cool I'm sure you earned some massive girlfriend He's like I'll eat your pussy for a month. I I will do what do you need?
What do you need? You know the funny thing is like on the way home He's like, you know, I really want to talk to somebody about this But everybody that I would talk to you about this is not in our lifestyle So I can imagine like going up to like one of my coworkers work on yes, right did this weekend You know, just well as a guy. Yeah, it's a kind of like Like because I know that in the non-kink world if you like fucked a bunch of chicks You're like three chicks suck your dick then you share that with like your buddies and then everyone pats you on the bat It's totally retarded But in the life's but when you're talking about how you excited you are that you got to spank or touch or be sensual with something It's not it doesn't play the same with the dudes. It's like oh, that's cool Did anyone suck your dick?
No, but I got to spank and touch and they were really cool And I did this thing with my fingers and I was tracing they're like, but did you did you fuck them? No? No, it was just play. Oh Why wouldn't you fuck?
I've had these conversations before and they keep going back to this like pro magnum Uh-huh you didn't fuck and so yeah, that's awesome. That's super awesome, man Oh, oh, Pat girl we have a post topic and we're gonna do it now And it's gonna make people laugh or cry or be pissed off or fucking say really fucking get over yourself I'll read the topic because it was a post and there's been many posts and obviously This is something that I have not only heard but I have felt embarrassingly But you know, let's just say it now then let me paint the scene for you without peanut butter so You're in a dungeon. You're at a play party and All of a sudden you get this urge to say I do not consent for you to look at us while we play How's that gonna work out for you there polypier's pants? Probably not too well Probably not too well, but it is an honest feeling it is an honest feeling because there's nothing wrong with feeling like you don't want Somebody to look at you when you're in the dungeon because not everyone is pretty right not everyone is not creepy And not every you know, maybe you have an X in the dungeons to people that you're having drama with It is a perfectly normal feeling to not want people to look at you while you were playing in the dungeon and it sucks But what should your expectations be in a public play party and go?
See it depends on why you're going to set play party So you could be going to that play party to have your fill of your local environment your local kinky groups and you may have access to equipment You don't normally go to so great me. I walk into a public dungeon. I fully expect people are gonna be looking at me So I'll either dress or undress depending on how I'm feeling that of that day And if there are people that I absolutely fucking hate because there have been times I've been in a dungeon where ex-boyfriend's I've been there. I don't fucking care But there may be other people that go there go no no no no I came here to use the equipment But you can't watch me do this scene because you know, it's gonna fuck up our concentration or whatever Hi, you're in a public dungeon.
Yeah, the word public really throws a monkey wrench into that whole thing Yeah, yeah, it really really does and I don't want to be facetious or insulting to that feeling because it is real I have had scenes Bothered by fucking creepy guys hovering outside of play scenes I had a place scene where I was playing with I think it was Mew and then one of our other lovers and they were kind of new into this You know the dungeon thing and it was a very sensual scene with some fingering and things like that And it was like Halloween or something. There's this fat fucking creepy dude standing outside the jail cell with I think it was a fake Dildo hanging out of his pants. Oh, Jesus, and he just stood there and he wouldn't leave He just kept watching like I'm gonna watch your whole scene So he's only six feet away from us behind the jail door and the bottoms are like this is making me uncomfortable Why isn't this guy leaving and I finally after like 15 minutes? I'm like alright, dude You got your eye full go look at some other shit and he started giving me shit and I had a argument with this guy because in Art in that dungeon there was an etiquette and a rule that you watch for a little bit in the semi-private rooms And then you move on if you want to watch an entire scene play out go in the main room and sit on the couch be at a distance There are different I guess I jumped the gun a little bit the reality is is there are many different types of parties with many different rules And many different protocols right there are parties that are like a threshold used to be or a number of dungeons Where there are certain distances that you are supposed to keep from people and not being hovering around their scene You're not allowed to solo master bait You're not allowed to contact people or try to get inside the scene without permission prior to the beginning of the scene unless they call you during the scene Then there's parties there's thousands of parties like all of that life in Los Angeles is swing or jackoff parties or gangbang jackoff parties Yeah, where a couple of women are the key players and they go in and they let you know it's a gangbang They let guys fuck them and the guys that they don't let fuck them are free to stand literally an arm away jerking off And that is that pretty there not your kink But there are hundreds of those parties out there right so and they're all listed and they all that range in that spectrum is out there So you don't know what party you're in so you can't make an expectation on the behavior of the people in that party It's your job as the person that is going to the party whether you are the voyeur of the exhibitionist to find out what the rules of that party are And if there are distance rules or sound rules or what those rules are does that make sense?
Yeah, yeah, because actually even going in the swinger lifestyle There used to be a very popular club down here in North Carolina called YKW Which stands for you know where and it was a swingers club But they also had a BDSM aspect They had a small dungeon in there and they had some professional tops But their rule of thumb was basically open door Anybody can come in and watch open door with a chain across it You can watch from the door I think I've invited under the chain closed door means nobody comes in now granted everybody who was a dungeon monitor at that place Had keys to the door even the dungeon I used to go to previously some of them had doors up a close and you know It was understood if the door was closed don't open it not unless you're a DM, you know I mean or you're part of that scene so the dungeons I've been playing at now We're all basically mostly open rooms very very few private areas But it's just if you're going to someplace public You can't expect to have privacy if it's kind of like walking into Starbucks and going to get a cup of coffee And expecting the room to be absolutely dead silent while you read your book No, there's gonna be stuff going around in the background There's gonna be people walking by and people who are you reading it? You know you can't to have that expectation of privacy in a public area. You really can't have it. It's pretty entitled It's pretty entitled and it's pretty unrealistic and I understand like you said in the beginning that there's people that they They they're not there to be exhibitionists.
They're there because they don't have another place to play They don't have the equipment they you know whether it's their house or apartment and neighbors They live in their mom's basement Whatever the fuck it is that they can't play and they want to play in a dungeon and so there is that conflict where you're like I'm not here There are people that play the dungeon because they're exhibitionists They love people watching and once again that has a spectrum where it's like oh I love people to be really close and Interacting with the play scene which is a big turn-off for a lot of people It's just there's so many different ways that a party can go Ultimately the responsibility is on you it is on you to find out what your party is and if those things are enforceable If you are a voyeur and you just came out of your mom's basement You don't know how to play and you're gonna go explore this stuff It is your responsibility to ask the party hosts What are the rules on being a voyeur because I'm a voyeur and we used to get grumpy people all the time? I'm a voyeur I don't play and it's like I don't give a shit The rules of this club are that if you want to be a voyeur go be a voyeur in the main room But no matter what you're going to keep a distance from people to not interrupt their play space this at this party Other parties that were renters or whatever have different rules because not and it's you can't assume Because on both ends of the spectrum you're gonna get in trouble. I've heard stories. I've heard people say I don't want you looking at me And it's like I like no looking not even like with the rules where you wait for a few minutes and then move on I mean like I don't want this person.
I don't like this person and I don't want them looking at me That's really I it's not enforceable. No, no, you're not gonna be able to deal with that If you can't handle that some people are gonna look at you or there's a drama or conflict or an ex-partner or something there You may have to consider not playing if that upsets you that much. Yeah Yeah, and you could even like the the play parties that I go to now There are like corners that are a little more quiet You could kind of scope out the room or I've even known people that like a party will start at six o'clock And like literally like there won't be that many people there people will walk up to across at 6-0-1 and start a scene because Yeah, there's not as many people, you know what I mean? So that way they can kind of get their plan There's not as many people as many distractions around and by the time they're done the party's starting to fill up Yeah, absolutely I've been a part of that many times where people are like I don't really want to play with all these people around but I really want to Pay and I'm like okay Well, you have to get there right when the club opens when there's five people in this big dungeon Yeah, and then you would have your place in and you would not have to work or once again Or we're going to go to this event that's either a members only or this type of party If you don't have a lot of choices, it sucks Especially if you want to do a certain thing a certain way among certain people if you don't have a lot of choices The only thing you're going to be able to do as the person that doesn't want to be watched is get a hotel Get an Airbnb Go have your own private place scene where you can make the noise not feel like you're being watched It's you know, you're getting into this place for whatever from 15 to 50 bucks and It's it's not private right it's just not gonna be private and if you're a voyeur You can't go in expecting that everyone is there for your private fucking show Yeah, because they're not most of them don't give a fuck about you now.
Don't get me wrong I mean if you're in the middle of doing a scene and you notice some some creepy guy or creepy girl Whatever just kind of hanging around the scene, you know, don't be afraid to get a DM involved You know because that's what they're there for because there's been times that like Doc's been trying to use a whip And it's just like there's people that just don't realize like hey if you stand here, you're going to get hit They're just kind of staring at my ass and it's just basically like right Yeah, I know you want to look but just kind of you move a little bit. You know, that's what kind of points at the end and go Hey, you know, so it don't be afraid to get to the end of all those there for but it's just yes If you have a party with DMS yeah, if you have a party with the other part, but it's just you know and they're trained Sorry, we're gonna have a DM talk now because not everybody has quality DMS or DM sometimes you are going to have to Let people know you're going to have to have that conversation with people and most of the time most of the time Like especially when it's like you're in a smaller room and the doors open and someone just kind of walks in If you can hold your shit and just be like hey, you can only come into rooms if you're invited you have to go outside Nine times out of ten nine times out of ten people are new. They don't know. They're like oh shit.
Sorry. They step out of the room It's no big deal, but every now and again you're gonna get some fucking asshole dude I just want to watch while you being an asshole now you're in a fight with somebody and you don't want to get thrown out or blah blah blah So it no matter what you're gonna have to deal with this. It's your scene. It's your responsibility.
It's your voyeurism It's your responsibility is He's got the same name I blame Jason mama mama mama mama for this you do I do I do well I can see did a commercial and they were doing the flash dance. Oh what a feeling and now all I can that songs been in my head and So it's his fault everything's his fault everything is Jason mama mama's fault That's just that's if you're a guy and you're not that great a shape Then everything that is bad in the world you can blame on Jason mama mama mama Aquaman guy because fuck that guy in his fucking weird eyebrows Sinister motherfucker that every fucking woman wants Yeah, they shouldn't they should want us He played psycho really really like he was in the last fast fast in the fairs movie Oh, yeah, he was so he was a real psycho and he played it like really well Well, I'm not that's the fucking problem That's why he's fucking sucks because he's good. He's not just like bro. Beepy, you know women want me Right, I mean these these are good actor.
He's a fun character. He's got talent. He's got money He gets all the chip fuck that guy fuck mama mama Fuck that guy Jason mama mama mama mama Sticking son like and like you just think you're rid of them and then he does a commercial where he sings a song that's now stuck in your head Now you have to hate him even more. This is these are the rants that I go on and eggmup by the way Mm-hmm these are the things I don't give a fuck about mama mama mama good for him good for him I think what really is he got to fuck the mother of all dragons.
That's it's true. That's what really That's that's where this all started. Yeah, no talking to know it She just stopped stop Fucking stop. I already hold up my hand to block out that fucking whatever obstacle Taylor Swift is dating now Every time they show him and her on screen all lovey.
I'm like and I just hold my hand up and block him out And I go that should be me Taylor should love How you doing enigma? I'm doing all right today's been a pretty solid week so far. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, and he shenanigans to report on um there was some shenanigans. I this week DNI got together and We watched a really lovely Murder mystery movie on on Amazon and then I ate her out for a while.
So, you know, it was a very good day You know, it's you know that is just Steady as she goes man. Mm-hmm. That's just one of those steady steady as she goes nights doesn't have to be fancy It doesn't I was just talking to someone who probably be a perverted podcast segment. We got a perverted mailbox No, not and and and I won't get too into it because we're gonna obviously do a segment on it But it really is about you know as things ebb and flow and time changes and things go You don't have to have a home run every night.
No, you don't you don't have to have the oh the wild fucking write a blog about it story You know sometimes it's just nice to just you're gonna watch a movie. I'm gonna get you off. You know, we call it a good night Yeah, and then like and then she put me on like I tried to I tried to fuck her face But then my leg cramped and so we had to change positions and Nothing sexier than a leg cramp when you're trying to be all yeah Oh Shit cramp. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, and it was funny. It was we both got leg cramps That night and so we both had like take a second let the leg relax and then keep go it was it was real funny because usually it's me Usually I just have my legs are tense and we'll cramp up really easily right, but but she got it this time And it was real funny by proxy. Yeah, yeah through osmosis through sexual osmosis She the leg cramp on your on your I hope that's not a new STI like transferring leg cramps I guess you guys just both need to hound on some more bananas That is like the one fruit that she despises I agree potassium is needed, but yeah, like she can't even do like candy bananas. No banana flavor whatsoever.
Wow, that's not a dude right there Dudes are all about bananas and peanut butter. That's like that's we're fucking monkeys. That's that's our thing So that's fine, you know, but if you wrap it around your dick, maybe maybe she'll get the like in it I think I might she might break up with me if I try that supplement Supplement will be better than losing a relationship But you know because anything that makes you feel better anything that makes you more calm anything that can be beneficial and therapeutic Oh my god So in that lovely transition from boogie we are jumping into an article from cosmopolitan And this article in every article that I've talked about probably you can find those on our fatlife group They're just they're in a sticky at the top of the group page So this article is entitled seven things you didn't know about spanking therapy Spanking what spanking therapy therapy spanking therapy therapy therapy therapy. Sorry therapy little foreshadowing to my my rant and self Oh, very literally.
Yes, thank you Spanking for many as the beginning of their exploration into the world of pink It might be a little shocking at first but often it gets quite soothing and many in and out of our community use it for more than just as a way to get off You can use it to be if you enjoy it Used to be that you've enjoyed it. You would have been thought as mentally ill Some might still think that way, but it's it's more more on the mainstream these days Spanking even as basic as it is can be a catalyst for a lot of other pleasurable things The excitement of it often comes from the taboo elements of what we do in the lifestyle And of course the power exchange and the loss of control plays a big role in enjoyment of it as well Like submitting to the impact can give the person calm at the end it they get calm at the loss of control Some not all can use BDSM and smaking as a way to deal with past trauma I do caveat this because it's kind of a I don't know old wives tales something people say that a lot of people in BDSM are doing it because of trauma and I wouldn't say it's majority But it's definitely so it may not seem like it from the outside But many turn to BDSM for healing and comfort that they can't find in the outside world Ah You know Cosmo is usually a little fluffy and usually a little make-up-y and not always the best source of reliable information But I'm gonna say this I think they they got it on this in a very in a very nice general way I think it was packaged really well So bravo cosmopolitan For actually putting out something that makes a little bit of sense So um my favorite part is the fact that they use the word therapy which goes onto my big rant that um get over it kink and BDSM Is therapeutic and can be a therapy a type of therapy. It's not the only therapy. It's not you're not gonna cure all of your mental illness Uh through kinky play.
We're not saying that. We're not saying it denotes the benefits of professional quality therapy That can help you unpack your psychological boxes and modalities of CBT and dialectical thinking blah blah blah But it is a in-the-moment Therapy that can disengage your sympathetic nervous system and re-engage your parasympathetic nervous system And I'll get a little nerdy in a little bit, but I'll let you go ahead and go first Yeah, well, I I mean I just did recently a few months ago where a friend of mine um just had a lot of attention and and They like they felt like they needed to cry but like they couldn't quite get there on their own Um and we negotiated and I knew about it ahead of time It wasn't a surprise and and so that was the goal and like there was a lot of spanking But I also used paddles, loggers and we and this is somebody that I have played with many times before And so like we have that trust and so I was able to kind of push them to the point where they were able to cry because Sometimes our body where we're as kind of as humans in the society We are used to um kind of locking those emotions away And so it can be actually easier to just ignore them But it's also good for us to release those emotions. So I have like I said, I've done this before but like with her It was just it was I pushed and pushed and pushed and then when they started crying it pushed a little further So we can get that like the the floodgates fully open And then and then we had a good cuddle afterward and we talked about What was going on they were dealing with some relationship stuff and it was just getting to be a little too much and And it was ultimately really beneficial for them Um, and I think that that that that is definitely not obviously that's not something that can happen every time But um it is something that can't happen unintentionally like you can be getting spanked and suddenly I know like when I have bottomed before even when I top like sometimes my brain will start to wander And it's able to do that because of These these sensations it's like they're they're they're basically pulsing and dorpens and Chemicals and stuff through our body and so our brain is going to start processing things And maybe it needed that sort of like intensity to help process things in a in a healthier way And so I I definitely see that they're the therapeutic side I don't think it's a necessary replacement for actual therapy, but it's definitely something that can maybe help people Process things in their day-to-day that they wouldn't be able to do normally I completely agree When we call it a therapy a therapy is the opening a therapy a therapy is not a medicine if we're just I mean we're doing wordplay So let's go grain itself. Okay But therapy is the thing that opens you up to healing right so if you're going through a mental therapy if you're going through physical therapy It's a process that leads you to the place to where your body can be at its own place ready to recover So what you're everything's done by your body It's not some magical thing unless you're inducing a medicine or something that triggers your body to do something It's all about your mind and your body So whatever you do to get yourself to that place of healing and recovery is as far as I'm concerned a therapy And so that's why it's so important to understand that what we do in kink of course It's hot and fun and a lot of times it's just to be hot and fun It's not meant to be anything else, but even those words hot and fun are just words that we use to describe a physiological Action that is occurring in our minds and bodies just like the amazing example that you just gave Of a situation where somebody felt that tension they couldn't release they couldn't surrender And the reason they can't surrender which you also touched on is the fact that the sympathetic nervous system is the fight or flight The parasympathetic is the opposite of that where your body is no longer in fight or flight and it can now recover And it can focus your energy on your digestion your circulation the recovery part The problem with us is we get so emotionally just like you said with your friend that she had problems in relationships and and that things Had all triggered that fight or flight Mentally, but physically your body doesn't know that it's just in your head So you continually hold that you continually hold that and you never release that because the surrender that happens when you bottom When you give up that control You are no longer fighting And so when you become open to that moment and you and you also put a physical sting or a pain in that and you're willing to go through that Then just like you said endorphins don't mean all the neurotransmitters and hormones and stuff that release But also that surrender It's the power exchange that happens when you finally allow yourself to trust someone enough like your friend trusts you to play with you It allows that sympathetic nervous system to disengage and the recovery can now start to happen But the reality is as we are constantly fighting shit all day in our heads And it locks up our bodies our muscles it creates pains and bad circulation bad digestion Inflammation all of these things are attributed to constantly being stressed out Because it's constant it's not allowing the system that helps us heal to ever engage So when you talk about just a spanking or a flogging or even an intense mental place scene where there's that power exchange That has a real effect on every system in your body from from psychological to physical And it's so exciting to finally hear that be expressed Because we've all known it we all go go go to the gym and work out for a few hours You'll feel better go run up a mountain go do this But this is interesting because as opposed to just the physical where you get the dopamine and endorphins running up a hill This adds the psychological to it where you're actually mentally surrendering while you're getting that does that make sense?
Yeah, no It's definitely that makes of it because like you're you're surrendering to your emotions while also surrendering to the person that you're That you're playing with Yeah, it makes complete sense when you just kind of look at the I mean the shit we all learn in our basic anatomy classes You know none of this is like special or whatever It's like your body works a certain way and your mind releases certain chemicals to help you survive and navigate And if those things don't release Then you never get to heal and it gets worse and worse and worse. So when you look at it like that all of a sudden it's like oh Spanking is good It's good to have a scene I think also I don't want to ignore in the same way because you know this obviously is a great benefit to bottoms But I think very similarly It's a benefit to tops to get you to that homeostasis and I sure know for me and I'd love to hear your opinion on this When I am I may not be getting the physical spanking or the endorphins or dopamine from the hitting sensation other than maybe my aggression and cardiovascular from giving the spanking But the mental ability and this is something I've been fucking tinkering with so go with me It may be complete bullshit, but it sounds really good. So I'm gonna say this okay So you and I both understand that the focus of playing Increases our ability to engage our parasympathetic Nervous system because we're so focused on what we're doing So that helps us relax because we're not fighting in that even if we're being primal even if we're being aggressive We're still not fighting because the animal is submitting to us There's no fight or flight engage when you're an alpha in the wild and you're you're protecting the whatever You're still fighting everything is still a threat you still have to navigate every single threat Right, but when somebody is submitting to you and they're giving up that power exchange As the top you are able to be in that primal moment where your body is doing what it wants to do But there's no threat because the person has submitted to you So that gives you is the top to engage in your parasympathetic and go into homeostasis even though you're being aggressive Does that does that does that sounds like no? No, it does make sense because like you're it's also about like the the connection with that partner and like the The connection of like they they are trusting you with this and so you can I know a lot of thumbs don't like to say that this but you are vulnerable too You're vulnerable because you are focusing on this person who has relinquished control over to you And that takes a lot of trust and so you're focusing on them and you're making sure everything is safe and healthy and all the things That they're supposed to be but it's also hugely connected like that's I think that's a lot of reasons Why like when we get into kinkar I find out somebody is kinky Like it opens up so many doors because it's like I already have like obviously everybody's experience level and everybody's actual Approach is different but like I know that you have a certain mindset if like I've done shoots here at my My apartment and maybe my screensaver pops up and they're like oh, I know that's a standard cross I'm like I know that club or I know what I'm all and I'm like oh I trust you a lot more or at least I have the ability to trust you a lot more Because because I know that you have a mindset of in kinkin so that there there's something like I can negotiate with you easier because I know Where you're coming from and oh go ahead.
Sorry. No, no, I just think that makes it makes our lifestyle Interesting because we kind of skip over a lot of the small talk and jump right into Like what what the people in the outside world would call like the dark stuff Yes, I love the that you use the word trust and that immediately was like yeah Because trust equals homeostasis Because you're just like we were just talking about you're not engaged When you meet somebody that you can relate to that you don't have to have an agenda and don't have to put on that fucking act for and don't have to play because even though it's not maybe aggressive every time you have to fake who you are in front of somebody else That's your sympathetic. You're protecting yourself You're trying to not be what you are in front of that person to whatever, you know protect your social standing or your job or whatever But that's a small amount of fight or flight and when you can trust somebody Especially with your vulnerable parts of you know What your kinks are and what you are and things that could be considered dangerous or taboo by society and you have that trust that also Puts you in a better mind frame to heal. Wow, you're playing it's a great point It's a fucking fantastic word and just all of a sudden my brain's like yeah That's right trust trust equals homeostasis because I you're not a threat now Then of course if they that's why when they fuck up your trust when they cheat or lie or fucking fuck you in the back That's probably why it's so traumatic because now you can't trust anybody anymore So you're always in fight or flight with every fucking human you interact with and now you can never realize oh my god This really opens up a lot of a lot of personal shit Trust equals homeostasis.
Yeah trust equals the Being able to heal and if you're constantly in distrust in your relationships and your job in with yourself Then how can you ever relax? Because you're always on guard always fighting. So that's why when you finally submit or surrender That's where you can finally heal Well, and like again, I have almost Didn't start this way, but it's definitely become a ritual where anytime especially when we're like with each other one-on-one That even sometimes on public like we just like we will hug and we will hold that hug and we will just breathe together for a moment or two Sometimes more depending on the neediness, but like you got a high to bone or you know, it's I mean, yeah, yeah, of course of course But like like I can I will physically feel her relax into me um because because of that trust and because of The the care that we have built up over the last last year and a half So like it it's definitely something that took time and patience But like when you find that person that trusts you that way, you can definitely feel it in a way that I Is different than like pick a player stuff like that You literally just triggered like all of these like hugs one-oh-one like I can cuddle But I'm holding them. I'm petting them I'm still technically in control of that But you're talking about A hug where you literally just I fucking hate hugging people like a pat fine fuck off Um, but like when people grab me like oh, I want to give you a hug hug.
It's like get the fuck off me Don't fucking touch me And I realize that that's because I don't have I can't allow myself to trust anyone But you can hug mister Did it take you a long time to get to that um Honestly, I don't know if there was like a specific like it definitely was like we would hug each other when we would see each other again and Um, I don't know if there was a specific like this is the ritual now, but it has definitely become it um And it's just it's and yeah There are there are parts to it that I think got added to it when I noticed that this was something that that she was bringing And then like I started like um catching on and being like oh no, this is really nice. I'm gonna do this too Um So you feel so you allow yourself to go into that hug and be vulnerable and let her feel your trust for her Yes, like at first it was definitely coming from her, but then like I Definitely was me matching matching the energy And uh, and so have you guys talked about that connection like that how she interprets that feeling when she feels it with you and stuff like that? Yeah, like we've definitely talked like um, I forget the word that that she was but it's definitely a requirement When whenever we we meet up and like if we haven't done that it's weird Like if we have we haven't had that hug and that that reconnection. Um, like it's not right.
Wow I Said them all huh just been a I thought I was gonna come in and talk about how cool I am knowing what parasympathetic and sympathetic means If I don't by the way, just hit me in the comments and tell me why I'm retarded. That doesn't hurt my feelings anymore You know, I'm trying at least um, but yeah to be able to have that moment Yeah, like I love when I feel their trust like when you know Like that moment where they just relax into you and you just pet them and let them know okay, that's the daddy thing Right, but uh, I've literally only given up that moment Very like I can count Since childhood How many times I've really given that up and it wasn't my choice Like when you gave me permission to kill myself because I was in such fucking Anguish for so many days and I cried and that was the only time she ever saw me cry Um, and I cried like a fucking baby like I was my I just I was done and uh And then the other was with another partner and both times I look back on those with extreme cumulation and embarrassment So what you're saying here Is that I have some trust issues that means I'm not practicing what I'm preaching and not finding a place to trust people enough to get to a level of omeos aces with them Yeah, that would definitely help That was a perverted podcast and uh, you know, we got deezes uh, yeah, yeah That's not always pretty yeah I still don't I after hearing this information. It makes perfect sense. Thank you very much for uh, for uh, this discussion that uh Thought I was coming in with some authority here I'm the one that's broken.
I was not shocking so you switched today No, no, I did not switch today As a dominance. I am completely aware of my foibles and will work on them incrementally that still allows me to maintain control Oh, there you go. There you go. Cause surrender is a horror that's necessary But I hate Uh, yeah, we're not gonna go uh, need deeper We're not gonna go any deeper just stay all the kids at home can know that we're all working on this shit together and uh So we should open up a spanking therapy business then Um, I think there's definitely spanking therapy is a thing.
I've definitely Uh, seen that advertised before so it's definitely something we might be able to jump in on like what would we like call it like psycho swatspaw or something? Um We'll have to workshop this. This is definitely something Fuck surrender. Fuck you too enigma.
How dare you? You know what this is. I know what this all comes down to what fucking Jason Yep, I am not gonna be emasculated by fucking aquaman who fuck the mother of all dragons Fuck them. Fuck you.
Fuck you perverted podcast Okay, fucking give a hug. Fuck you I hug a pillow every night. That's what I hug And if you want to find us on social media you can find us on instagram at pervertedpodcast You can find us on fattlight. There's both a group and a page just search perverted podcast And if you want to get in contact with us, maybe even be on the show just email us at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com fucking Jason mo of Fuck a guy And that is the end of show four oh two thank you for joining us if you have any question comments or any other fun stuff You want to send us you'd like to reach out to us at pervertedpodcast at gmail.com and find us on tiktok or instagram under the name of per Product cast and i've fed life.
There's both a group and a page you can support us for free by hitting a like a subscribe button on whatever App you're listening to us on it really does help other kinksers like you find us So please push those buttons and if you'd like to help us a little bit more Please go to patreon.com slash pervertedpodcast and you can sign up for our five bucks if you give a fuck level You get our shows a few days early lots behind the scenes shenanigans including our half pb episodes And you get the official title of a pb sugar zombie and of course love is but she kisses to our patrons around the world Your support means the world to us. Hey wonderful show math girl. Thank you very much and peanut butter Just remember you all get free peanut butter Breathe in a better No, i'm just gonna smear it right here and let you all crawl up and say hi to daddy Mmm You know This is why nobody listens to the show anymore this is this is why the numbers have crashed Oh dear god, thank you guys so much for being a part of this and thank you to all our sugar zombies PP zams zits zombies and everyone else we love you. We'll see you on the next one The Steiner i'm sitting in a no fine french restaurant these eggs taste like they've been run over by a truck I stare out the window that could use a good clean and my mind is a blur like a carnival of lights Everybody's got a weakness and mine is just running from a job or a true love that just might chain me down And a voice that's inside swears the answer is coming but it always waits hiding in the next little town It's crazy broken Chasing the night What seemed like an eternity was only a moment when I tasted this kiss from a goddess of the sky And I chased her lush garden straight down to the fire where I burned and I screamed and I lost with all my my When I rose to my feet my head was on sideways and I could not distinguish which way was up or down I was no longer human just a soulless dead robot whose circuits would be rewired in the next little town It's crazy Here I go Chasing when I was a boy and things would go badly I climb on the roof just to stare at the stars at night and I knew if I ran five million miles a second I could live with you baka and everything would be all right The treasures of a lifetime lay buried in a true heart But I've been distracted still looking for a map or sign from the heavens and a bright neon sign that says boy Stop your running though.
I haven't found it Yeah Who am his mind or not easily parted? I paddle on dry land because I'm scared that I will drown So I pay for my eggs and I pull up my stakes and away I go drive into the next little town Oh here Chasing the night Chasing the night I'm chasing the night I'm chasing the night