Me, we're here for broadcast on the radio. Oh my God, you're a, you are going crazy. You are going crazy out. Have you been, have you been, uh, caffeine?
No, actually I just rolled out of bed less than an hour, probably about an hour ago. Did you have like wet dreams or dreams where you were on the lottery? Like why is usually you're like, all right, we gotta do this, okay. Yeah.
Well, I'm coming off of a good day yesterday. It's a very interesting day. You probably forgot what yesterday was. Oh, yesterday.
Oh my God, was it your birthday yesterday? Yes, yesterday was my birthday. Oh my God, you're a beautiful old hag now. Oh, fuck off.
That is so wonderful because you're literally like four score and seven years ago. No, but now you are half a century old. Oh, see here's the, okay kids, I'm not even faking this. I could say I've turned 47, 48, 49.
No, I'm not even faking. I can't say I'm 49 plus one. I cannot say you're fine. So when you're growing up, like the kids are going to say it was wrong.
You're wrong. I cannot say. I get it. I get it, but I can say it for you.
50. Oh, fuck. 50. Yeah, that's not what I'm getting.
So your middle century, you're not even middle aged anymore. You're just, you're just, oh my God. How are your teeth holding up? I'm getting it.
Jesus Christ, okay. My teeth are fine. I get them clean twice a year. Thank you much.
Unlike other people. Fuck off. Hey, let me tell you, yellow is the new white. Didn't you get the memo?
No, I have whitening strips and stuff that I use. Thank you. Okay. Whatever.
But so I'm so sorry. I didn't know the actual day. But I will race to the sporting goods store to buy some tennis balls for your walker and ship those to you. Fuck you.
Fuck off. And fuck you in the ass. Fuck off tennis. Oh, my ass.
I know you love it. You fucking fuck. You know what? The Catholic coming back to the patron episode, I need to team up with Kathy.
We need to do this bitch about you. Okay. No, I just think, I just think it's wonderful because now you get all those benefits. AARP.
You get that email. Oh, my friends and family, but tell me about that. You know, I need to do that. You know, by the way, you know, look at that.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you can sign up at any age. I have friends in my 30s use it for the travel. Okay. Thanks.
Thanks for the commercial. Don't deny the fact that you're old. It's just beautiful. You're older.
Fuck face. Yeah, it is true and more beat up. And I'm sure. Well, I mean, here's the important thing.
Do you still have sensation in your vagina? Oh, fuck you. Yes, I do. Like you'd ever fucking know because you ain't ever touching it.
All right? Oh, happy birthday. That's what I was having nightmares about. You trying to fuck me.
Okay. Oh, happy birthday. Well, now wait, hang on a sec. Oh, okay.
Grandma's okay if we started a show. Oh, fuck off. Yes, grandpa. Well, could you put your teeth in and maybe get your dick pills so you can get working, all right?
Hang on. Let me put my testicles back on the counter because I hurt my back when they hang low. Let's get into this hot. Let's put this hot young fucking sexy audience.
Let's show them what's for. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised. And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself.
One, two, three, four. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Yes, and naps now at your age are more important. My name.
I'm medically necessary. All right. Look, okay. Had my fun.
Thank you for indulging the abuse. But you definitely have a much more active life than me and surely vaginally. So let's get to it. Are there, I mean, you know, we had our fun, but let's get to the real birthday stuff, which is birthday headers.
No, unfortunately, that's getting postponed till next weekend because with Donnes's schedule with his son and my schedule with my son, we got together for you and really nice dinner last night and actually spent some time with the ex husband doing some stuff with our son. But we're putting, you know, since he has a son, we can't really do anything. And we're actually leaving a week from yesterday. So beginning July, we're going on a trip to West Virginia for six days where there's going to be kinky shenanigans and very paranormal shenanigans.
That's right. You're going on your super fucking institution haunted thing. Or this is like, this is literally like the kinky paranormal bucket list trip. This is.
So you're going to go ghost hunting in an asylum. Actually, well, we were actually doing two ghost hunts. We're starting off Saturday night. We are going to be doing a public ghost hunt at West Virginia Penitentiary, which is extremely haunted.
And two days later, we are going to have the entire trans alligator limited asylum to ourselves to investigate overnight. For those who are in the know the paranormal world, this is one of the top like three places in the world that is been that is haunted. It was built for 260 people and then it's worse. It was housing, 2600 people.
There are multiple murders, multiple suicides there. The build the funny thing is, and this has been verified historically, the property is 666 acres and it has exactly 13 buildings. So yeah, it's. So those places to bury bodies.
There's actually three cemeteries on the property that over 2000 people are buried that were never claimed by their families. This was basically like if you look at the list of things that you could be institutionalized for at that time, like it's when it was opened like in the mid 1800s, things like masturbation and fatigue and getting kicked in the head by a horse and robbing a bank. It's been turned into a historical site and they actually do like regular tours and stuff. Obviously since it's on to the new paranormal tours, public private.
But it's just the list of things that you could be institutionalized for. It's like, how do we enjoy now? Is Kingston? So that's your thrill is you're going to go crawl around a abandoned insane side where people were fucking brutally tortured, raped, murdered and put in cages and in humanely treated.
And that's your blowjob right there. That's that's. Well, see, I've had experiences. I mean, I've gone ghost hunting before.
I've actually been lucky enough to do two different ghost hunts with some of the crew from the TV show, Ghost Hunters. I've ghost hunting with Stephen Tango. I've ghost hunting with Chris and Amy. Those were really, really fun.
And I've done some private ghost hunts with my ex-husband and some other people. But Donis is never gone. So he's going to be, you know, he's popping his paranormal cherry. I have to warn you.
Are you going to go? Well, here's the thing. You're going to be in a crazy ass institutional knife. And not really anyone around other than maybe some security wandering.
I know where you're going and no. What do you mean? No. Look, the fucking souls of those dead tortured fucks deserve some fucking king.
They deserve, why? Because number one, I don't know if there's any cameras anywhere anywhere. And number two, well, of course there's cameras hidden hours. How are they going to fucking have the people they hired to come out and sheets to fucking scare you?
No, no, no, no, no. But it's just, I mean, when you do those hunts in a place like this, you have to walk in there with a sense of respect. I mean, you've probably seen fucking TV shows where people walk in and go, come on, show me stuff, but do stuff, fuck me up. No, no, no, no, no, no, I know enough about the paranormal.
You don't fuck with shit like that. So me trying to go to Donis and go, hey, let me give you a blowjob right now. Hey, why don't you fuck me up here? I don't think I think you are pruning up the minds of the deceased.
I don't think if I was dead and I lived a shitty life in a shitty institution and was tortured, I would be like, thank you. God, I mean, so many people come in and they're like, whoa, got to give you respect. I don't need respect. I need a show.
Give me a show. Show me somebody. I'll wear a little cut top. I'll do the thing.
Yeah, come on. You used to have a vibrating panties or something, you know, to where you can go. Because some of those people probably might do. But no, I can just imagine like, you know, I'm wearing the middle of something and then like if I wear a pearly, I do have a vibrator that he could control with Bluetooth.
So it would be funny where I'm sitting there trying to be really quiet and listen for stuff and feel. I'm like, oh, I feel a tingling. Oh, no, it's in my vagina. What if you do paranormal, look, a go with me on this because everything has to wind up taking.
What if you do paranormal research where you leave the controller for your vibrating panties in different places and see if a horny ghost clicks the on button? Okay. Okay. Now you're being masturbated by the afterlife.
You know what? That actually, okay. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but that's actually kind of intriguing because there are several spirits there that are supposed to be very aggressive. I wonder that would be fucking interesting.
Leave my phone there because I'd like the one I have. Leave it there. Go straight. But consensual non-consensual ghost rape.
Because I basically leave my phone there and say, hey, do you want to do this button? You know that because I actually even bought trail cameras to put in certain rooms that'll catch like activity for my trail cameras. So like if they masturbate you and you drip while you walk trail camera? No, I mean like to prove the fact of like if this thing gets turned on when we're out of the room that nobody's actually like hiding in the shower going, let me fuck with her.
Yeah. See? See the boogie. And that would be respectful because at least it's the way if nobody wanted to do anything, nobody's going to do anything but you know, it's like, I want to fuck with my.
Ghost rape. Okay. You have me entertaining the idea. Okay.
I'm entertaining the idea. Hey, look, as long as we can get to some sort of Goshenan again. Yes. You know, because I'm I'm just going to be honest.
I'm not completely on board with the whole paranormal thing. Everything is an option as a science 11 atheist. Hey, show me some proof then and some collaborative evidence and I'll I'll believe anything that you can pick up. I walked into other places like Eastern State Penitentiary up in Pennsylvania and my ex husband and I were talking in death row and on our video you can hear voices in the background.
There was nobody else there but him and I. Yeah. Or speakers. Yeah.
Or speakers. I mean like you we didn't hear at the time of recording. It was when we played a back later. It's called electronic voice phenomenon EVPs.
Ah, like other names for everything. Oh, that's called an EVP, by the way. Yeah, and it's voices into the production. No, I'm talking about playing back a videotape and you hear a voice there when there was nobody else there.
Now, I can show that to somebody else. No, yeah, I have to put a voice in there, whatever. But it's just yeah, I'm curious to see what we get. And Donis has never had anything with the paranormal.
He actually I wanted to kind of give him some background information. He's like, no, I want to go and cult. I want to go and not knowing anything about property, not knowing anything about the history of everything. So I'm the one that's got all the research.
Right. And now granted, I am a scientist. I am you know, when something happens, I always will go and say, hey, I have to find like I took a picture and put it on social media and my friends goes, Oh, there's an orbit in the background. No, it was a reflection off of the glass that was on my thermostat that was sitting right next to me.
So it's just like, I will always look for the skepticism. Yeah. But at the same time, if somebody's like tapping me on the shoulder and I turn around, there's nobody there. I'm going to be like, yeah, somebody just tapping me on the shoulder.
Yeah. Or it's a message which no, but the good thing is also like this trip, we're kind of getting a baptism by fire where we're doing two ghosts, two overnight ghosts on some three days. And then we're going to have two, three days of downtime. So I'm definitely going to say, um, you need to find somewhere in this hotel room where you're going to time you up and spank my awesome vampire gloves and yes please.
All right. Well, that's the, those are the stories we get to hear on the next trip. Yes. So, uh, let us now segue into some spooky topics.
Should you pet it? Should you get it? What's the proper way to get it? You don't want you to regret it.
So we answer stuff from Reddit. Oh, God. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay.
Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I am ghost moaning in my sexual noises. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It reminds me of that scene in Beetlejuice, where it goes? Oh, and they're like, oh, mommy, that's not going to go.
I just segued into our topic. Yes, I know. So that was Ghost Sex Noises. What about the times when other people have sex noises and maybe they're a little over the top?
That is our Reddit post for today. Told my mom was too high pitched. So a 20 year old female had friends with benefit situation who is also young. And you're never too young or old to say stupid shit to somebody during sex, by the way.
Just let you know I've made my mistakes and that's why I picked this topic. He told me when I moan, it's too high pitched, similar to hand-tied porn. Realistically, I know he was just pointing out something I already knew because, but it kind of hurt my feelings. And she tends to moan a lot during sex because it's how she expresses her pleasure.
It's not something she forces. It's just, you know, it's not a show she puts on. It's her pleasure. And she's never thought about it too much until now.
And so it's on the forefront of her mind. She now has a programming, when I have sex, should I bring this up to him? Or am I being overly sensitive about her? Squealing high-pitched fuck a chipmunk voices.
And I'm sorry, the majority of the men and women are out there going, this is a problem. They're like, she sounds like inside porn, that's fucking odd. Well, I picked this specifically because I have experienced this and I have done it the right way and the slightly wrong way. So everybody has their noises during sex.
They've done all the studies on whether it's, you know, obviously you don't have to make noises. You can control it. It's not like some autonomic fucking, you have to, whatever, but it is part of the way that people enhance their own experiences and get into it. And so it is part of their sexuality.
Obviously, some people are so programmed into their noises that it is, it goes hand in hand. Like they can't have good sex unless they, what is it, emotes? Or they put out that sound, their sounds, their moans. Both men and women have their noises or non-noises.
I don't make a lot of noise. So noises are glorious, not down in noises, but it is true, some people have very loud noises. Some people have very piercing high voices. I am somebody with very sensitive hearing.
I like, I hate high-pitched noises. And I surely try to avoid volume that's excessive. I like doggy style. So it forces the voice the other direction.
But I have had a situation where I had somebody who we started, their orgasms got stronger and stronger because we started using the Hitachi, which they had never done during sex. And so they started having giant orgasms and every time they were on their back, they would literally jump up eight inches from my face and scream in my face. Like, that's disturbing. Which is a little traumatizing.
And because there's no way to get, I'm holding her legs up. She's holding the thing and she just high-pitched to the fucking moon. Now then, the pervert in me is like, this is a great orgasm she is having. I am a god.
But then there's another part of me that's going, I am dying. And I am literally, I can feel the cells in my blood literally just being ripped in half in my head. So this went on about 30 times. And I'm like, there's no way to escape this.
She's not going to stop. So here's how to not do it to a sensitive person because this person was very, very sensitive. I tried to approach and I said, hey, I started the right way. I'm like, oh, I love the fact that you come so hard and that it's wonderful that you have this.
But when you come and you scream directly in my face, it's kind of traumatizing. And because I use the word traumatizing, instantly, sensitivity, tears, upset. And I'm like, it doesn't mean you're, I just, we need to find a way to turn your head, bite a pillow, put a pillow over your face and scream something. But you're literally unloading concert level decibels in my face.
And that's not hot. Yeah. So I probably shouldn't have used the word traumatizing. I just should have used the, so have you ever experienced anything?
I mean, how loud are you? Now, obviously like me, I can get loud, but obviously being a parent, I understand that there are times I need to be quiet. So I mean, especially if I'm coming really hard, I tend to say fuck like 20 times, and I'm like fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeah.
And it's just, that could be even off-putting, but there's times I grunt, there's times I squeal a bit. And it's just like, but I have the understanding that if I need to be quiet, you know, it may be hard, but I can do it. Now if you go back to like, basically when people orgasm, like a lot of people when they first learn about orgasms, they've watched some type of porn. So they kind of, you know, porn is not real life kind of thing.
Or obviously they're like, oh, yeah, I bet, you know, it's like they're doing it over the top of the camera. But I actually, one of my former poly partners and I played with a girl that when she came really hard, and she was an overweight girl, I loved her death, she was a sweetheart, she started sounding like she was squealing like a pig, where she was like, yay, it's me, it's me. And we kind of looked at each other and we're trying not to laugh because she was really coming hard, and we're like, hey, we're doing a great job. And meanwhile she's like, squeeze, squeeze, like put our heads in our shoulders and just try not to laugh.
And afterwards we're like, so we guess you enjoyed that, huh? And she was kind of like, she was a little bit mortified because she's just like, you know, you brought that out of me. Right. Now, obviously, and obviously if you're playing in a public dungeon, there's so many times before, we all put into a lot of people.
So there are ways of getting around it, obviously, gags or even in your case with this other girl, maybe restraining her down to the table somehow so she can't jump up in your face. But if someone were to say to me, you know, hey, I don't like the way you come, I'd be like, fuck you and the horse you rode in on, that's why I never put you guys in my body. That being said, you kind of have to figure out where is that coming from? Is that really just getting really primal and like, oh yeah, this feels so fucking good?
Or is it like, you know, if I'm a submissive and if I make it seem hotter, maybe he's gonna like it better? So I mean, either way, I can understand why you're feeling so hurt, but at the same time, there's plenty of guys who feel like that's fucking hot and just, you know, there's times you have to be quiet, but it's just like, you need to, as a king, so you need to learn how to have that control a little bit, you know what I mean? I think so, and once again, it's such a fragile thing because you don't, I mean, there are people that say mean things to be mean because they don't like something and they don't care about the other person and they're just assholes, there's millions of them. So it really is, how do you get to the point to where there is obviously a problem, this is, because obviously I'm not feeling sexy in that moment.
And I'm the one that's supposed to stay hard enough to help you finish. And all of a sudden I feel my chest curling in like, I can't hide from this. So it's obviously fucking with my sex too, but there's gotta be a way, I would definitely say, start with your enthusiasm for how great it is that they feel this pleasure. And then it's kind of like, hey, I need to control the volume though a little bit in a different direction.
So I don't want you to not do this and I don't want you to get in your head about this, but is there a way that we can learn that when you're getting really hyped up and you're getting close and you're gonna have that big blow that we can learn to turn your head a little bit? Maybe there's a lot, obviously from privacy issues, there's a lot of women that are loud that are, you know, they're called pillow biters where they just grab a pillow and just bite it, bite hands, I've done that, I've shoved my hand, which of course you're gonna bleed if they bite hard, but there's definitely, it really is about the approach. I had a squealer once that was literally just a high-pitched, like a science tone, like a, it literally, she just went, like, I could do that sometimes, yeah. Like just a straight tone that just pierced walls and Mew loved it when she did it.
Like she thought it was the greatest thing in the world. And, but most of the time she was faced in the other direction. You know, I did mostly doggy style with her. And so I'm like, whatever, it's hitting pillows and wall, I'm not getting the brunt of that.
But it's such a delicate topic and you really have to, you know, cause you don't want people to shut off. You don't, you don't want to kill, especially when it's like a new thing, like they've just discovered this part about themselves, you want to build that up, you want to grow that, you want to empower that person to feel that type of pleasure. But there are some logistics that were not on an island and I'm not hearing impaired. So, you know, like, or even if worst case scenario, bitch, I'm putting on some headphones.
I'm going to put on them gun fucking, the ones you use at the firing range. Well, no, you can even put in earplugs. I mean, like, I wear earplugs to sleep and I can still hear people talking to me, maybe a little muffled, but if like, honestly, I can hear them talk. So yeah, you could put in earplugs to basically like, where you can still hear like somebody calls red or something like a plane.
Sure, sure. But it's going to take off that high end. And I don't think any of those things are bad. I think it's, if you make it fun and you go look, I want you to be able to be you in bed.
I don't want to start to curtail. And it goes in the opposite direction because there's people that make no noise and then their partners are like, I'm fucking a corpse. And that's, you know, so you, so I mean, what are you going to do? Some people don't make any noises.
So that's a different training as well that like, oh, there's a pleasure here, there's a sound here. Let's try to associate a sound with this feeling. And then you can train people to make noise. But that's a long process and a whole other topic.
But I think in general, most people like noises to a certain level. So in general, it's a touchy, don't use the word trauma on a sensitive person, even if it's true. It's completely true. And yeah, do your best.
Just do your best. And be aware when you're playing. I mean, especially like you could train yourself at home to be, you know, to kind of express. I mean, there's been times I've had to learn to let myself express myself more because it's like there are no kids here, you know what I mean?
Right. Just, you know, you could work on it as a Kingston and then just try to be delicate with the people you play with. Is Geeky World News 8 Social or? I mean, for the average whale connoisseur, yes.
It's either a whale or like a fat guy on fentanyl. Oh yeah, it was just tripping balls. Tripping balls, because I have been that. I mean, maybe not on the fentanyl, but definitely on downers and alcohol.
I have definitely done whale speak, definitely. Where you're like sitting there watching fucking, you know, 17 episodes in a row of, I don't even know, with Bender. When was it? The fucking Bender and Fry and Lili?
Futurama? Futurama. I thank Jesus Christ. I'm talking in whale right now.
It's hot and enigma, it's God damn hot. It's so fucking hot. Jesus Christ, whale noises. Mmm.
But the good news is, is that we're here and the even better news is, is that in my meditation of oaming that you join me in with whale noises, I believe that you had some kinky shenanigans in the last couple of weeks. Nothing super intense, but like, D and I have gotten together and done kinky shenanigans times. Because the last time you said you guys, you know, were it was like, okay, we're not going to do kink because there was some stuff that had to be taken care of emotionally. And then you recovered from that.
And we have definitely recovered from that. Okay, good. I think between last time and this time we did so, we went to the Devil Mass Society some more and did more rope stuff. And they've been definitely, that's been definitely something that they've been seeking their deep into, which is really fun to watch and also experience myself.
But yeah, and then just like, you know, haven't been super, super kinky, but definitely been enjoying each other and having a lot of fun. And the last time we chatted me and D, we were talking about bringing the speculum out again and playing more with that. Oh, on her, you. Yeah, on her.
I'm pretty sure a speculum is sexier on a woman. I mean, I mean, on a race, pretty much. Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm sure somebody is into it. If you're clean, I mean, if you're clean, but you're going to find out with a speculum real quick if you're not clean.
Right. But the last time we were talking about it, I don't know if you were aware of this, but there's a whole trend in, we'll call it edgy or porn where you speculum the ass out and then you fill it with milk and cereal, and then you eat cereal out of it. Okay. I hear that process.
I can visualize that process. As even though I've been losing a lot of weight and I'm on oseptic, so I'm not as hungry, I still feel that is kind of a defiling of cereal and cereal was a great passion of mine. But once again, is it for the extreme? Is it for like doing something crazy or are you just trying to have a good bowl of cereal out of an ass?
I don't know what everyone's motives are. Right, right. And it is not mine to judge. What do you not do that in the love lap?
I, we've put a lot of things in asses in the love lap. I'm aware. No doubt about that. And I surely put like food objects in an ass.
Once again, you gotta clean out. And there's things that's not as dangerous in the ass as it is putting food stuff in the vagina because obviously if there's sugars or syrups or whatever the hell you put up there, you know, you can get a UTI or cause things. The ass is a little more resilient because it holds shit. So it's not, you know, it's not as picky.
If you put undigested food in an ass, it's not as dangerous for it. But I don't know. I think it just sounds funny to me. Like doing something that to me sounds more like a joke than to be hot.
And so of course I appreciate the humor of it. But and surely, okay, now once again, I gotta put my king helmet on. You surprised me with that one. If you're talking about service, humiliation, those types of play, then absolutely that would, that's that is surely something that that requires a great deal of servitude and ability to be, I mean on both ends.
Right. If it's the tops kink to eat out of an asshole, okay, that's one thing. But if it's like I say it, like the dominant is the bottom, but they're like me, it's switchy. And they're like, I want you to eat cereal out of my asshole and show me how devoted you are to me.
Right. And so the eater is actually the bottom. I could truly see, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can definitely see that.
So I think there's, I mean, it's multifaceted as is with everything in kink. And I'm just gonna say not, I don't think I would go for that. But surely sounds funny. And I look forward to hearing your, what cereal would you choose?
I think the only option is for loops personally. Fair enough. Because cocoa, because cocoa puffs and cocoa pebbles would hide any accidents. Right.
Oh yeah. But like, would you want to hide the accidents? Would you want to know, you're already know, you're eating out of an ass. You're eating particles.
Right. Right. And it's just like, it's just happening, you know. I think I'd like to know.
You're a truther. Yes, I like the truth. Yes. You're an ass cereal eating truther.
And you want to know now that we have no listeners listening. Or some very, very special ones. Some very special new ones that are like, these guys are free because I like this. This is good.
I can see, I can see where this is going. You know what I just got? Not to digress, but I'm going to digress because it's about not where you belong and don't belong. Like these types of conversations belong on perverted podcast because we talk about them.
And though we make fun and whatever, there are still aspects to even eating ass, eating cereal out of an ass that there are actual discus, there are valid things to discuss around that. But, but it's amazing that I get all of these emails all the time from these hack publicists that do no research into what they are promoting their client to. And they try to get them on our show. Yeah.
And today is literally like a half hour ago, I got one that was like, oh, Nicolas Blubili wrote this book about sleep coaching. And he had insomnia and a near death experience with his insomnia. So he, you know, one, I think he would be a perfect edition to your show perverted podcast. And it's like fucking really?
Really? Could you imagine if we brought Dear Nicholas onto this show and we're like, we have a guest today, sleep coach? And so Nicholas, have you ever eaten? Fruit Loops out of an asshole?
I almost wanna do it. Yeah. I almost, cause we get all people with things that have nothing to do with what we talk about. Like they just copy and paste.
They don't even, they don't read. They don't do any investigative work. They don't see what would be the best place for their client. Just send, copy and paste emails and litter a million podcasts and just hope for the best.
Yeah. At least, at least like Instagram, every once in a while we'll get like some porn star only fans person that wants to be on. I'm like, okay, this makes more sense. Yeah.
Wait a minute, we do? Yeah. I've sent them to you before. Oh, so apparently it doesn't happen very often.
I mean, it's been a bit, but yes. We've got to work on that. Because those were exactly the type of people that would be fun for segments. Yeah.
If you are an only fans model and you want a little free publicity and you're willing to talk about your kink and your sexuality and your career, remember to bugass at gmail.com. We want to hear from your slutty self and join our sluttiness. But that's not what we were going to talk about today. Today, today, you and I get to be the evolved, completely snobby and self-righteous rantors.
I'm just prefficing it. I'm just saying. Yeah. Saddle up, man.
Because we're going to sound superior. I think so. I think so. Proceed.
Thank you. So our article today comes from cypost.org and it does entitled New Study identifies the ideal number of sexual partners according to sexual norms. Hmm. And as usual, all the articles that I talk about are on our FET Life page.
Just look at the sticky. That is at the top of the group or the page. All right. So a recent study published in social psychological and personality science, I think they need a better name, has shed light on double standards regarding sexual activity.
Men are considered more favorable when their sexual activity is high and women work with favorable when their activity is low. And this is nothing that studies over decades tend to back this up to varying numbers. And this paper wanted to study how these numbers vary and why. The study was split into two sample groups of 190, 170 college students.
Both were asked how they would view a 25-year-old person who exhibited a few different levels of sexual activity and sexual outcomes, like number of partners, frequency, et cetera. A notable novel finding was that moderate levels of sexual activity were rated most favorable, which challenges the notion that only those on the extreme ends of the spectrum are rewarded. They were even able to find the participants ideal level of sexual activity over a lifetime. For men, this was four to five partners.
And for women, it was two to three sexual partners. This article does a good job pointing out the two main shortcomings of the study. It did take place in Germany and only Germany. And the study was more focused on societal ideals as opposed to personal judgments.
Ah. Are you meditating again? Nah, nah, just gearing up for my self-righteousness. And it's not self-righteousness.
I mean, we've poked in fun, but it's really ready. I think I've mentioned my new term. I have to come up with a new term every couple of years on pervert a podcast to describe something amazing. But Jizen, I think, was my most successful from a few years.
That's my favorite. I use it regularly. It works. For those of you that don't know, in my brilliance, which isn't really brilliant.
It's more of a numbers game. I throw out like 190,000 lame fucking names. And then it's like digital photography. If you take 600 bitchers, one of them will be good.
And, right, but Jizen was that. And, but Jizen is when you are giving oral to somebody, it is the view from their vagina all the way up their body to their eyes and face. So I now have another term, which applies directly to this idea specifically towards women, about how many partners they should have and what their value is if they exceed that number, which in this case, which it is interesting to mention that this was Germany, because every culture has different, you know, hang ups and or openness towards sexuality. I think these numbers in Iceland would be completely even and not really hung up.
In America, obviously, we have a lot of issues around this in social media, this number. But these numbers that the Germans came up with of two to three partners in a lifetime is acceptable. Think about that. When did you first fuck?
How old were you? Oh man, I was, I think the first like actual like sexual encounter was like late 20s, like almost 21, 22, somewhere there. Late 20s, so you were an adult and that's it. So for me, it was 17.
So, and that's still obviously very late for a lot of people. So picture that. So let's say 20, 20 and let's say you live, you know, obviously your sexuality ends at 70. We're just going to say for the sake of all the young people.
That your sex life ends at 70, which it doesn't. But let's say you go 20 to 70. That's 50 years of being alive. And in this study, which I believe is actually probably more liberal than we would have out here, that's about one partner every 17 years.
Yep. That's one partner every 17 years, or I didn't do the math, it's around 17. Right. And so let's say you get in a relationship when you're 20 and it's wonderful and romantic and you guys are together like for two, three years and you only have sex with each other.
And then he cheats on you and you dump him. You now have to wait another 15 years. Yeah. Because you don't want to fuck up your number and be considered a whore.
So you have to kind of, that's so unrealistic. Yeah. Just in average numbers, like say, even if you just have one partner a year, that's every year, you have sex for 50 years. You're going to have, you know, if you don't have a long-term relationship or you have a bunch of long-term, it's just such a, here's where this comes down to.
OK. Then I have a term and it's called alpha penguin. Alpha penguin. Alpha penguin.
And an alpha penguin is a man who hides his own insecurities of not performing as good in bed as her past lovers by shaming or gaslighting a woman for the amount of sexual partners she has had. You see it all over fucking TikTok in YouTube now. You have entire groups and podcasts of these fucking dudes that sit there and it doesn't mean you're necessarily weak or you're not a, you know, can't be strong or an ass kicker or a muscle guy. There's a lot of big buff guys that are fucking alpha penguins, too.
But they are insecure men who only value a woman based on the thickness of her hymen. They ignore her personality. They ignore her creativity. They ignore her work ethic, intelligent skills, talents, abilities to communicate.
Everything is removed if the number causes them to be insecure. That is called an alpha penguin. And I will explain why, because if you had a choice. When a lion, an alpha lion, takes over a pride of lions and comes into the, he is now the alpha of his six to nine female lions.
There is no, now, I don't know if you've ever seen this enigma. There is no, there's no evidence, there's no video footage ever of that lion walking up to his new pride and asking his fucking new lionesses how many partners they've had. That lion fucking says, attention, bitches. Your pussy now belongs to me and takes his partners, because that lion also understands the other talents of those lionesses where they obviously, they can bear children, they can manage, they're all fucking phenomenal hunters.
They're cool because lions lay around a lot. They sleep in nap a lot. So they hang out and swat tails in each other's faces and goof off and have a lion play. The lion understands that there is value to the lioness beyond just how many other lions have fucked her.
And he doesn't seem to care. That is an alpha lion. Do you know what animal has a low body count? Penguins.
Penguins have a low body count enigma. Penguins are monogamous. They're only one partner. You never have to feel insecure.
You never have to face your, be emasculated as a man, thinking that your woman had better penguin sex with any of the other penguins. And then of course it hangs out in the frozen tundra for months at a time carrying the egg of its young under its nuts sack to keep it warm, dreaming of the day when the wife returns to regurgitate, shoot up fish barf into its mouth. What a great life a penguin has. But they have a low body count.
They shouldn't. Low body count, very loyal, very monogamous. So my question to the average man is, are you a lion or a fucking penguin? Because I have those insecurities.
There's nothing wrong with saying you have those insecurities. I have those insecurities about the other men my partners have slept with because I wanna be great in bed. And maybe I'm not great in bed all the time. Or maybe I can't compete.
There is nothing wrong with having those insecurities. There's nothing wrong with talking about that and saying, okay, I understand that you've been with a lot of people and I'm not gonna judge you for it, but it does make me feel insecure. That's honest. But when you turn that insecurity around and you devalue another human being because of your insecurity from now on, let it be known, Alpha Penguin.
You're not a lion. And it doesn't matter if you're big enough to kick my ass or shoot me or fucking get in a fight. There's tons of Alpha Penguins out there. That are big bad ass guys.
Yeah, but you're an Alpha Penguin. There's my rant, you have yours. Yeah, no, I think that's a solid analogy, I guess. Comparison, but yeah, I think focusing on a person's, like their sexual partners, it reminds me of, like the old school comparison where the teacher takes a piece of tape and they put the tape around their hand and they go like, they high five one person and they high five another person, they high five another.
They go through the whole class and then you look at the tape and the tape is dirty. And you're like, this is what happens when you have sex with a bunch of people. Kill them. Kill bullets, straits bullets, kill teacher.
What? Sorry. No, and that's the kind of shit that is perpetuated in our schools and is how a lot of the youth are taught and educated about sex ed. Like that's their sex ed is that.
And then for me, it was a hallmark movie, a couple of hallmark movies about how about teen pregnancy and then we had a lot of STD talk. Like that's it. That's all they get. And so like I think a lot of our societal norms come from that sort of like the abstinence only education and then also like if you haven't been abstinent and you do sleep around that, like you said, that diminishes your worth.
And you have no value. Yeah, you have no value. You have no value because you had sex with more people than your husband. And that shit pisses me off.
Like I, D and I are having a great poly relationship. She has sex with another person. That doesn't diminish her value to me. That doesn't diminish her meaning to me.
She still and always will mean a whole hell of a lot because we have that relationship. We have that communication. And you know, if it was something where like, I don't necessarily want to hear all the vin-gritty of her encounters with her other partner. And that's something that we have just talked about.
She loves hearing about the stuff that I get into. And so when I get into stuff, we'll have a conversation and we'll talk about like the things that I did. And I think a lot of these misconceptions come from the fact that people, particularly like people who may become from more conservative backgrounds, like they're not used to having those conversations. Like coming from a non-sexual perspective, like we don't talk about feelings very often because a lot of folks are raised to not think about feelings.
And that's something that, again, we don't talk about very often because we're taught not to. And so one of the things that I work through with other, with previous partners, with my current partner, with my therapist when I got a quarter, was just like being more open about those things that were kind of raised to focus on and work on like how we actually want to feel. Like if you're somebody who only, like you're happy, only having two or three partners, four or five partners, whatever the numbers are, like great, I think that's great. But like don't, you shouldn't expect other, everybody else that you encounter and that you're attracted to and that you want a relationship with to share those same values.
And only to have, you know, two to three, four to five partners. They might have had more because they went through a streak where they were like, you know what? I want to fuck as much as I can because I want to figure out what I like. I want to figure out what this next thing is like.
And I want to see what I can do with it. And then they met you and were like, you know what? I'm happy, no, this is great. But just because they have that past and they have all of that experience, that doesn't mean that doesn't diminish their value, it doesn't diminish what they mean to you.
It just means that maybe they have some experience that they can share. And that goes for, I mean, we're mostly harping on the alpha penguins that devalue women. But there are women that devalue men for being hoars. It's obviously not even nearly as much.
But it's like you said, you know, the fact that you went and it doesn't automatically mean you're more likely to be a disloyal person. There is something to say about the blind. I think we've talked about, you and I've talked about this before, that if you know that you're in a bad relationship, the fact that you've had other good relationships can help you see that you're currently in a bad relationship. And if you've only been in one or two relationships, then you may not know that you're in a bad relationship.
You may think this is normal. So we're not gonna talk about that. Cause that is a real point. You can't not make that point.
But it's just the idea of living in that paranoia. If you have a great relationship and you have great communication in that relationship, you aren't going to need to worry as much about whether or not the people usually cheat when they're unsatisfied in the relationship. If you're having a great relationship and you're working at the relationship, then you have less to worry about. It's just, I've heard, go ahead, you were gonna say.
Well, yeah, no, and they will definitely cheat. Or at least the communication's gonna suck. If they're not comfortable, or if either party is not open to that sort of relationship. Cause like, they're not easy conversations to have, but they're important ones to have.
I think so. And I think if someone's gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat. Cause a cheater is a different thing than, like cheating is about a game. And cheating is for a lot, especially guys.
Cheating is about not getting caught. And it's really, it's not, if you're a fucking liar, you're a liar. It doesn't matter whether you have 10 partners or one partner or no partners. If you're a fucking liar, you're a fucking liar.
And cheating is about lying in dishonesty and manipulation. So that's really the thing you need to worry about. Cause there's plenty of people that have been married and only had one partner and still gone and cheated. That's not statistically, that'd be an interesting study, to prove me wrong on that one.
But it's so sad when you hear it, I've heard this, I've heard this on podcasts and I've heard where guys are so hung up on that number. I heard one, this guy's like, dude, I met this girl and she was so awesome. We got along so well, dude, I was totally in love with her. And, you know, we connected well, we had talks for hours and days and the sex was great.
Everything was good. And then I found out that she had like 10 other guys before me and I dumped that bitch right there. Your loss. Yeah.
You may have someone that's amazing and because of a number that other, cause your buddies are gonna say, dude, she's been ran through. Oops. Just fucking thing. Yeah, no, it's gross.
It's gross. It's just not, it doesn't move anybody forward. You can do whatever you want. I don't give a fuck.
Do whatever you want. Be that, but you're wrong. That's my self-righteousness. You can judge people.
You can say things aren't for you. You can say, and it's not really about having that insecurity. It's not about saying, hey, I don't want a data porn star because I'm not gonna be able to deal with my feelings. That's honesty.
What I'm talking about is the alpha penguin that tries to justify shaming and dumping and shitting on a human being because of their insecurities. So they hide their insecurities behind that judgment. It tries to mean, because all of that, that hurts society. That hurts the psychology people because you're the fucking liar.
You can't even face your own fucking fears. You can't even face your own insecurities or even admit to them. Alpha penguin, douche. And what it comes out to is like having those practice sessions.
Like if you have a really good friend who you shoot the shit with, be like, hey, I wanna try to be more open about these conversations. Can we kind of like have these conversations as if we're dating so that we can kind of like figure out, like I can figure out like what feels right and what feels right for me. And if you've had ex-partners who maybe you're still in touch with, reach out to them. Be like, hey, I know we used to date.
Can we talk about our communication styles and what worked, what didn't work? And maybe ways that I can improve. Like if you haven't had those conversations yet, I think it's important to practice them because like I said, a lot of us are raised to not talk about our feelings, not talk about the things that we're into. And our partners aren't mind readers.
And so we need to be willing to let them, give them the opportunity to know who we are. And we need to have those opportunities to figure out who we are to. I don't know if I'm a great lion. I'm pretty sure I'm not a great lion.
Okay. But I'm not a fucking penguin. I may be a little insecure about the other alphas. And that's a challenge and that's a competition, because that's another thing, is this is no longer about me connecting to a partner.
This is me having a competition with other men that I've never met. I've now left the relationship. I'm not even in a relationship with this person now. I'm in a competition with other supposed alphas.