The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it But if you're curious here we go Dikuk lane is fixed hook fixed hook and Welcome to perverted podcast the show where we explore a lot of stuff the adventures of the kiki lifestyle sex and an ever-gremlin human mind Yes recording on Zencaster. What's the difference between a BDSM slave girl and a mosquito?
I don't know what the mosquito mosquito stops sucking it if you slap it Hey tantalizing But mosquitoes mosquitoes also don't spit What what does it even mean look at me trying to throw some fucking improv on time a yes, and and a complete disaster Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's us. Yeah. Yeah, why we don't know I am Calpukki, and I'm kind of embarrassed by that But uh, but man what a week what do we I mean?
I love the topic today. We're gonna get what a week Yes, yes a topic that we haven't taken this approach on this topic I love it when I find things and I'm like we've talked around stuff like that This is gonna be right into expectations fantasies versus realities about the dom sub dynamic and kind of a Semi-disasterous situation that we're gonna handle in a minute But but first and foremost as we all live vicariously through path girls vagina what has been the activity level of said vagina? There has not been any activity since instead vagina because unfortunately Donna said it's on this week But we are going to be hopefully playing sometimes this week and we may have a play party on Saturday We're going to things are still a little up on the air with that can't you sell children? I mean if it was legal to sell children would you?
Well, all right positive step in the right direction at least my son starts college tomorrow All right, it's a step closer to being a step out the door. Yes, okay Yeah, with his autism like we knew there's gonna be like a longer launch period for him and all for him is always He's gonna be out of the house. It may not be a normal time, but you know, he's gonna be out of the house But yeah, he's starting college tomorrow. So of course, you know the mom feelings of like it go to college But you know the autism thing of like wow he's going to college He's going to a special program for kids with autism and other disabilities that will be hearing him toward more normal college life Just kind of giving him a little extra time after high school to get geared up for college But he wants to hopefully work with animals either in a veterinary setting or we actually have a huge zoo down here in North Carolina I mean the North Carolina zoom or not even five miles from it So that would be great for him to go work there eventually but yeah, but yeah, no no fun stuff in my vagina Hopefully to be this weekend because yes, I need it please.
So no kidding Jesus. I need it for you. Yes I got well, um, the good news is is We do have a topic. Yeah, so let's get to that Sure, you might not be the asshole, baby.
Don't sweat it. We're gonna drink your rain and balls and you won't regret it I'm talking about your stuff that you asked it on about all reddit. Oh reddit. Oh dear reddit.
Oh, oh Nuclear bomb Reddit Toxic wasteland that is right talks it well, you know what? I really you know we actually talk more about reddit stuff now than we do bet life stuff um, and I just noticed that a lot of the discussions on reddit are much more curious and related in the BDSM groups that are on reddit, um, you know, obviously there's a bunch of bad questions, but uh, This one was sad, but I think it's a good discussion and it's a it's a master slave don sub dynamic issue that happened and I think for our regular listeners that have been around for a while you're going to obviously see Some of the some of the things very early on as we talk into this But let's give it a chance to go through because there are possibilities that can go either way But of course it goes like this there, you know couple my master Uncollared me Recollared me and I'm having a hard time how to reconnect which is Completely valid completely valid and this can happen for many reasons, you know that we may or may not get into But it is something that happens, but in this case I recently moved in with my master after a year and a half And it's been a bumpy ride They met through kink a couple years ago and they have been in a collared master slave dynamic for most of their relationship And she has a special eternity caller that she wears daily Right three days after I arrived which means she moved to go be in this dynamic with this master We got in an argument about moving logistics Afterwards he uncollared me simply by saying we can come back to this when we're ready Yeah, hold it hold it hold just just this retract those Wolverine a cloves and and we'll get to it Having moved thousands of miles to start a live-in dynamic and having that gone so quickly was devastating which Can't argue with that. I tried to give him space and he nonchalantly brought up the idea of Recoloring me a month later Now here now here obviously we you and I have a clear path of execution and assassination But this is where it gets in to the things that we talk about a lot on the show in that conversation It became clear that we think about kink differently He sees it as a layer we add on top of our vanilla lives I see it as a very real part of who we are right it was shocking to hear that we had such different perspectives And he hadn't shared that he felt that way before right It took another month of talking before I felt we were enough on the same page for me to be recolored So it's been a week and she's still having a hard time being recalled I really love this man. I really love the dynamic we had but I haven't been able to settle back into it And there are times it just doesn't feel right Maybe this is just new and I just need some time and she asked for advice So why don't you go ahead?
I'm gonna put the claws down just for a moment And just hold everything that I want to rip into this man for Coloring as we have said many year for many many years is not something to be taken lightly Coloring should happen after many discussions and preferably many months like I have said before I was previously colored at three months time Way too fucking early A lot of the kink community puts emphasis on a color is like almost like the highest stat One of the higher status symbols in kink were basically like oh look we're colored um For me a collar obviously represents an outward Representation the relationship I have with my partner Now with this woman moving so far, you know thousands of miles away to start this live in dynamic and then basically, you know Not even 24 hours later. Yeah, we're gonna take this collar back. Um, no, we we don't do that. No, we it's a collar is presented To a submissive as a sign of ownership, but as a sign of that relationship to take that away can be very very Disturbing and hurtful.
I mean when I I basically found out that my dom was cheating on me and I demanded to take my collar off And it was crushing to me because it's just anytime I had any anxiety or any thoughts about that relationship I kind of grab onto that collar and go he's here. He's with me I'm okay. Do not have that collar is kind of like what the fuck and then don't even two minutes later Oh, yeah, we could put it back on no no no that collar is not a fashion accessory You take on and off if it is then you can wear a play collar and it's just a play collar If you're having an actual attorney to collar the ones that lock and what you know, no I understand that there are times that people need to take a break from kink Maybe we take a break from a ds dynamic or a coloring thing You don't have to remove the collar and they're playing a people that will basically go okay You know, let's drop a role and like, you know, we're boyfriend and girlfriend husband and wife partner Let's leave the kink out from it and have an actual conversation you um To basically try to put that collar on in office to me It's quite manipulative and I'm just I feel bad for her because I can understand why she's saying it doesn't feel right Because even if she gets that collar back, once the next time he's gonna take it off Exactly that was definitely It's anxiety inducing it's manipulative and quite honestly to be very polite about it It's really just fucked up that um as you kind of touched on there are different levels of coloring and There is no 100% the true way that a collar is there's no constitution of coloring There's no guidebook that was passed down by the bdsm gods of this is how you call her and this is what it has to mean and this is Death deathly serious and never for play There are a lot of different ways that people interpret a collar as you touched on and I wanted to expand on that a little bit And that is fine. There's nothing wrong the layers that he has and the view he has About coloring to him and I'm not going to defend this guy I I am on the negative side of this guy's actions But let's just say for the sake of argument that if he truly felt that this is kind of just for play then he might not and Interpreted that she had the same feelings towards it that it was just for play It you know in that case then maybe he didn't think that was going to be a big deal Yeah, because he assumed that she thought the same way he did about it, but that's not what happened.
That's absolutely not what happened Um, this was This was he didn't like that you argued with him and he punished you with an uncollering. Oh, yeah And this is where the topic that's I don't want to say interesting but is is something that's important to talk about because There's kind of a myth this is where the fantasy meets the reality because a lot of fantasy bombs get Very very surprised and butthurt when their plans or ideas get challenged by the lowly submissive Yeah Without the realization that a submissive go with me on this path grino. Okay, it's gonna be kind of weird A submissive is still a human with a brain. Oh really fucking weird.
I which weird I saw it on on some medical site But they did a study and uh, they said submissives still have brains and ideas and thoughts and levels of independence And for most when they enter that dynamic it is because of a choice To give up a certain amount of their power and authority in this dynamic with this person In in the most positive cases that this person has inspired them Right with a level of respect And that they have a good plan for life and a good plan for them as a submissive It doesn't mean their brain just turns off. Yeah, you're still somebody that has to wipe your ass and live your life and think and there are There is a small percentage Of dumb people that literally like I don't want to even think for myself I don't want to wipe my ass without being told wonderful blissful blissful life If you find a uh, dom or master male or female that is able to guide you through wiping your own ass But the vast vast majority of human beings that identify as submissive and want that power exchange are still going to have thoughts Ideas and sometimes those are better than yours. Yeah, even as the mighty dominant And so that's why when you respond like this like you're not you're so missive. You're not supposed to argue with me That's fantasy That's fantasy and misinformed obviously there is a way that you negotiate that if if as a submissive you have concerns or things There are certain protocols for how you convey those concerns those debates those better ideas to your dominant or master And those are hopefully things that have been worked out while you develop that relationship because it's real and If the dominant can't deal with that and they just think you're first off Why would you want that?
Who the fuck wants a broken doormat? Like that's no there's i'm not going to learn anything about myself I'm not going to grow and get better. And so why this is I think this guy just based on what we've read Is kind of immature and a douchebag because it really does sound like he just got surprised You know that this person actually stood up for themselves and had a debate about something that mattered to them So in in a real dynamic even in a situation where you have protocols for how to have a debate And at what point do you stand up? You know blah blah blah even if that protocol was broken Then there would usually be some sort of discussion and maybe like a punishment or a punishment or some some sort of consequence If that's part of your dynamic, but to literally just casually be like i'm not going to be your dominant now because you argued with me Yeah, yeah fucking dickless dickless and tittless I understand like so basically the series of events that she laid out was she got collared They decided to move in together long, you know, since it sounds like they were doing a longest relationship And then you know she moved in with him after that longest move I've known people who basically like moving in together is kind of a hard experience in itself And I've known people to say like hey listen I know we're in a DS relationship or an MS relationship Can we drop roles for the next couple of weeks while we get adjusted to working together?
Together yeah, I know they're there right and then but the collar doesn't come off the representation of the relationship is still there The respect is still there But maybe not all the protocols are in place because you may even have to learn new protocols Like for example every guy I've dated including donnes they do not make coffee in my house I bring them coffee even if it's I have to roll out of bed early I will bring coffee Donnes and I are planning a movie together and I've said to him look I understand there's gonna be times I want to make you coffee and I can't I don't expect you not to have coffee because I'm not there So I'm gonna have to understand that until we get our relation, you know get our routine set There's gonna be times he's gonna make coffee so you can drop role and be respectful and that's fine But to pull that collar on and off again basically oh, we're gonna do this when we're ready. No, no, no, no, no, no No, no, yeah, and then on top of that like she talked about that It seems like they both are in different ideas of what their king of life should be where she's thinking it's very integral to her life And he's basically like oh, it's just icing on the cake and it's like that needs a long discussion about somewhere to meet in the middle about like, you know You gotta kind of get in the same page, but what is our relationship on those you know It's called the the dt r the type of defined relationship, you know things, but um I just don't understand Like what what his mindset is about like, you know, he's still just nonchalant about it I mean, I'm not even collared to donnes and we're dating two plus years Now I wear a play collar when we go out to play And it's just for me. I do not feel comfortable walking into a play scene or play or a dungeon With donnes on my arm and me not having a collar on for me It's a sense of ownership that i'm there with donnes and if I want to do something with another person I will ask permission for donnes. Hey, can I go play with doc?
Hey, can I go play with cat or or what have you? It's just and it's just basically for me. It's a sign of ownership and it comes off at the end of the night It's so it's just a play collar The thing I can't get over is I I don't know you you watch any of the boys It's a oh, I love the boys with homelander my hero, um because I am homelander. I want to kill everybody See a lot of similarities.
Yeah, thanks. Except I don't have any powers and if I did, um, I would be I wouldn't be As for those of you don't know homelander, it's a superhero and he's evil and but he's evil and like a weird patriotic Um, but uh, there was one of the other villains superheroes that he homelander has as fetish for breast milk because of his weird child issues and so um one of the other villainesses that is completely loyal to homelander um literally Took all these medications and things that made her lactate That kill you basically they enlarge your heart and they give you all these horrible side effects and whatever but you do lactate And it was that moment where homelander looks at her and even talked about this off-camera, you know About what that scene turned into that it was supposed to just be fucked up But it became he said to her like when she squirted titty milk in his face and uh, and he's like what? Let's hit ease, um, and and he literally looked at her and he said you you did this for me And she said yes, you know and this fucking chick just moved thousands of miles Up heaved her entire fucking life. Yes for you to be with you.
Not a job not going to school Not any she got up and moved thousands of miles to be with you That's something that needs to be respected. Yes That's an incredible sacrifice that someone has made for you So to in a few days shoot down That and in one in your first argument it shows that this it's a very good sign that this person does not He may be nice and fun and sweet and have a big dick and fuck you right. I don't know But he doesn't consider you that much. Yep.
He doesn't consider the big picture of you Which is troubling and an impossible red flag. Yeah, the reason this coloring doesn't feel the same is Academic he's not the same person that you thought you were in a dynamic with oh He he doesn't believe in kink like you believe in kink. How could you possibly? Have the same dynamic Because he's now a different person.
He sees you now know that he sees kink differently So of course it's now it's not going to mean the same. It's not going to be as strong. It's not which leads to What we're always going to talk about and that is how much you communicated before entering into this relationship Yeah, that these are things and it's hard when you don't know and you don't know how to have these discussions It's difficult to know what things to ask and that's why we have shows like this and shows like loving media Sam and all the kink shows Where we talk about these things For those of you that are thinking about getting into these relationships. This is Base 101 communication that should happen To know what does kink mean to you?
Right? What does it mean to you? There is nothing wrong while you're negotiating a dynamic to ask someone What is being a master mean to you? What does this mean to you if i'm going to travel thousands of miles and turn up everything to give myself to this That's your fault.
Right because you didn't do your homework. You didn't take care of yourself even as this submissive Because you have a fucking brain. We talked about it. They did research Yeah, you have a brain you are responsible to ask these questions to make sure that before you commit to this Are you somebody that's living in fantasy?
Right Because this type of thing can happen and it can happen even if the guy's a psycho and he doesn't give a fucking he's just manipulating you to get what you want And it's the darkest possible outcome. Right? But even if it's a you know relatively just based on ignorance and I didn't think about that That's where that early negotiation comes in and you can absolutely you have every right to ask any question that you need That person if they're going to have a dynamic and you're going to give them authority over you You have a right to for them to earn that respect. Yeah.
Yeah, now Let me jump in for a second because at the end of her post she basically was asking on reddit to people What has helped you reconnect after an on collaring? So let's just say for argument sake You have a couple that's it or two people that are in a collared relationship for whatever reason they mutually consent to Uncollar quote unquote For time ping now that on collar can be to be you break up and then you talk about things you make up or it could be like I said before Hey, we need to take applause and I dynamic because something's big to go on So obviously, you know, you have two people who were in this collared relationship and they're gonna be out of it and want to come back to it Obviously, like we said before talk about everything get make sure you're on the same page Make sure that is there anything previously that was in your dynamic that you liked or didn't like that you want to go back to? Or something you want to change that would be a great way to say look we used to do this But I didn't really like it. Can we maybe do that?
Sure. Set some new boundaries set some new rules set some new expectations For what that collaring is going to be and then you basically both have to agree what that collar represents whether it's just going to represent Hey, it's a cool fashion thing and oh, yeah, my boyfriend girlfriend gave it to me or is it going to be no? This is a sign of ownership is to sign a respect What else do you think would be good to help reconnect? I think in reconnection you got to go right back to those early protocols if you have protocols in your relationships And there needs and there needs to be goals that you set with those protocols and by protocols I mean if you have a thing like for you, it's you know coffee is a protocol for you Maybe up that game a little bit, you know, maybe not only am I going to bring coffee But I'm also going to wear this certain thing or I'm going to do it a certain way or I'm going to add a fucking cookie with the coffee or something Something that ups the game in that protocol to where you are now re-engaging that part of your brain to say this is important to me to do this service to them It's the same thing in the protocols that the dominant intermaster has towards the submissive that I am going to have them kneel If they're physically able to kneel or lie or whatever position that they're going to be in and we're going to do that every day As a as our ritual so all of those little rituals that you have in place those things help you remember That you are in this dynamic that you can be in that space and you can make up some new protocols Maybe for the first month every day We're going to have a set of mantras that we speak to each other to reignite that That energy for our master's labor or dom sub relationship Maybe it's a writing that you're going to do and then go for those goals And say for the first month we're going to do that.
I will guarantee you those things help your brain get back into that I don't know those gears it gets those gears of that dynamic going And if you just because if you just because you worked all the way up To whatever point to where you had to take a break in that relationship But your brain then all of a sudden starts making you independent again Because you're now technically your brain's not committed in that coloring So now you're kind of you're kind of okay Well now I got to handle this and that and that and that where I used to do this this and that and that So you have to bring yourself you have to go but it's kind of like tuning a guitar This is if you never tuned a string on a guitar the best way to tune the string is to tune it down So it's really really flat and then stretch the string back up You never go from high and then tune it back down You always go down and then you go back up because it makes the tension more solid So in the same way in your relationship, even if you got to point six And then you took your break Go back to point three Yeah And start from there and build back up Maybe you don't have to go to one because you already know each other and you know you've negotiated You know the first time but definitely tune down a little bit and then work your way back up and I think that will make it stronger Makes sense What a sad fucked up situation Yeah I hate this guy but I will say Once again There is a possibility if he is nice in all these other areas that she says he is That maybe this is something he can learn he obviously hurt her He obviously was ignorant This is obviously based on immaturity but the benefit of the doubt that this was just ignorance And he wasn't mature enough to handle that moment correctly Well, then you make amends and then you work hard to be better because I've made a lot of mistakes I fucked up a lot of things. I've heard people I've I've I've done things that I still regret So the only thing I can do is to make amends to see where I fucked up and then try to be a better person And at the end of that there absolutely is a possibility for rebuilding that energy and it's better because now both of you are doing it for real Yes, so I think that's a positive but in general, I think that's a fucking douchebag Condundrums in my brain. I'm after fate. Just like a rocket I do believe in doing to believe this makes a good whole topic Path girl has an interesting thing that has happened her and then we took it to all our fucking listeners But yeah Yeah, so it's honest and I were talking one day and I've always kind of bugged him about making different Playlists for our scenes and I have a playlist of all hard rocketed metal five and he does punch And he's a weird mix of 80s music 90s nails and trance for normal music He listens to okay fun.
Nice. I've learned to I've learned to start incorporating some of his music into our scenes Whatever but then um for fun He made a list a playlist that he's calling the every shade of red list Now maybe you've heard me say on the show anytime somebody calls does something I don't want to do I will say red red every shade of red. It's kind of my trademark So he called it the every shade of red list and um this also started with many moons ago that he made a playlist and in the middle of said Playlist he put sisodio. Oh, it was a magical moment.
Oh my gosh It was literally the first moment where because I didn't know that much about dawn is at the time And at that point I was like bro It's a bro right there. It's a good move to sadistic mind-fucky good player that like like literally he went from like, you know I don't really know you too. All right. I'm gonna give him the point on that one Because it fucked with your head so well.
Oh, yes So I put it up on fed life basically to ask all of our listeners about basically What is the cringiest songs you'd never want to hear during a scene and I mentioned to studio and then I also said Uh part of the playlist I have for um from donnes is you can call me out by paul simon You know the video Yeah, well great song dude Oh no, not really saying no Dude the dude that that the baseline in that there's a base solo in that that nobody could figure out But they did it like he played the first half and then they put it in reverse for the second half And then when the guy went play live he had to learn how to actually play it forwards and backwards to play a lot Dude, that's a fucking incredible song that fucking album is known by engineers in music To be one of the highest quality engineered albums in the history of albums The the sound engineering in that album is fucking flawless. All right, great song. Yeah, I like so no I don't okay So we have a place we ever play oh god, no, I'm never playing anyway So we have a bunch of great responses from our listeners, but let me go through the rest of the list that donnes put together Okay, so we have to see you go me out then we have the safety dance from men without hats How couldn't I dance with that? What is wrong with you?
We can dance with you want to leave your friends behind that is a flogging dance We can vlog if we want to and I'll hit you in the bus Come on Not during a scene Everybody put with your heads, okay I don't fuck you from behind what? Keep feeling fascination by human week. What is what are you talking about? That is And then the conversation turned Until the sun went down.
Oh my god. You've literally picked three songs in a row that would be These are all donnes. These are all donnes. These are all no songs for you.
Pretty much. Yeah, okay This is a really obscure one. It's elbimbobuy the blue oyster or something It's basically from the police academy goes that it's the first police academy when they walk into the gay bar and they're like tangoing and stuff It's a really weird song. Okay.
Here's one that everybody's gonna cringe at Goodbye horses by Lazarus I don't know that song. Oh silence the lambs silence the lambs the song he's dancing to when he talks of it the first time Goodbye, oh I'm crying crying crying over you. That is pretty yeah any air supply song is pretty much gonna be no This is yeah, if you watch science and lambs you see where he's talking about what you fuck me. I'd fuck me That's the song he's dancing to all right.
All right. Well, but then once again, that's creepy if you know silence of the lambs And especially if you're doing like a humiliation scene where you're specifying a guy And you play that song in the back. That's a great scene. I mean Would you fuck me?
I would totally fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you Okay, we can peg if we want to Take your from behind. Hey, it's gonna get worse folks hit to be swear by he would listen to news Okay, that song's kind of corny. Well, it was also an american second when one of the scenes where he was like killing somebody Basically like he was murdering somebody Okay, this one will make the little squeal because they probably want another playlist barbie girl by aqua.
Yes And high speeds though Actually First off barbie. Let's go party out first off. There's a lot of kind of dirtiness in the song Of course, yeah, it's not a happy barbie song like this is a song about partying and fucking which I don't care what kind of music it is If it's a song about party skyrockets in flight is my jam as a kid. Yeah, um, you know afternoon delight But uh, yeah high pitch though.
Okay. Well a longer line Wait happy together by the turtles So happy together Not for a scene. Is that that one? Yes, exactly That's happy together by the turtles.
Not the scene. No, how do people not see here's the difference between you and me Because I love a lot of different styles of music so I can go on a journey Into each of those styles. So I when I'm gonna change my role play up for that If we're doing an 80 scene, I'm gonna be in like an 80s headspace and think about that time and and what type of energy that would be And maybe pretend, you know that we're both at a club and we're you know rolling on x or something, you know Or whatever fucking drugs, you know a line of fucking 300 a gram coke or something You know whatever it was back then And you know and if it's the 70s then i'm gonna pretend we're like, you know, we're like hanging You know, yeah, I'm gonna literally I mean there's some songs Would you like me to send you the screenshots of this you can make your own playlist? No, no, no Here's here's the real twister.
I don't actually like music and play scenes. Oh, okay. Well, I actually don't like any music in play scenes I can do it and I can dance and if the songs are good I can get into any song, but I like your music That's what I'm going for. Yeah, I want to hear you.
I want to hear you fucking breathe I want to hear you whimper. I want to hear every subtle fucking noise that comes out of you I want to hear when you twist and fucking pussy part. I want every fucking Every everything about you so for me that quiet that quiet Especially if it's in a big room and there's some echo and you just hear that And it's just you you listen to the breath decrescendo, you know with each half see that's that's my that's my playlist Well, then you would hate this one because a lot of people would want to play it gang of style by side Whopam gang of stones. Okay, once again now it becomes fun.
Yeah, it becomes seeing that's the thing Like if it is me it's more fun. Yeah, if there's music I like I can get into the funness of it, but I'm much much more in my headspace. Yeah, quieter It is well speaking of fun. Another one is walking on sunshine by Katrina in the waves.
Oh man I'm gonna make you walk on sunshine, bitch. That's a that's a cunt punching song That is such a well, it's called pulsing. It's not really punching. That's why I call it pulsing It's where you take where someone's bent over and you take the top of so make a fist and point your fist straight out to where your knuckles are Horizon now turn your hands straight up like you're gonna give a thumbs up and you lay your thumb long over the thing So that top knuckle leading into the rest of your hand that around that spot you're going to gently start pounding Um at her ass right at where her taint is the perineum or perine or whatever And so you start building that pulse and that creates a shockwave that actually goes into both the pussy and ass And so as you continue to build that pressure and you start hitting Harder and harder depending on how hard it is because you can bruise I bruised some of that was one of my my things that I thought Maybe I went a little far on she loved it I bruised her entire labia because we fucking pulsed for about For about an hour But yeah, it makes women squirt it's it's fucking without fucking It's having we talked about that.
I'm sure we talked about pulsing at some point But yeah, so you start gentle and it's pulsing and then you play walking on sunshine and then you just go Okay All right, then of course you gotta get rick rolled with never gonna give you up Another classic fucking play. Yeah, all right. We got two more Uh, some people may know this it's Baker Street by jerry rafferty Huh if you if you've listened to the dave ramsi show, it's that that saxophone in the beginning And then it goes pooooo Yeah, exactly exactly that's Baker Street. It's a great song You didn't know it was the dave ramsi theme show so I basically like you want me to think of dame ramsi while i'm getting my ass beat Well, I am trying to get out of debt All right, all right, and then this this was the icing on the cake And that's actually it's funny that it goes into the bit we're talking to the beginning show The end of the playlist is the habanigula Why not?
Now that's a kind of punching song that's an ass kicking song like that's literally now You don't do top of the foot that's an ass kicking song And some people aren't into kicking and you got to be very careful about it and know where to kick and you have to actually be pretty accurate So you're not doing like a full like, you know trying to kick a field goal right in there in their junk But um habanigula is a great ass kicking song A kick your ass bitch. You're like good. Yeah All right, well, that's that's the end of the every shade of red Same less Adonis wrote so let's go see what our wonderful illustrious listeners wrote So we have um pompslut She said she had to join the group comment and basically thought see bat by hudson mohawk aka that one song that the red guy I always said he fucked the girlfriend to well She put a link in the um or they put a link in the description for the song and actually listen to it I'm like, okay, this is a little bizarre But it's basically he was still like the video is basically like him fucking his girlfriend to the song and then she basically says stop it And like it's still in his head so you can see as he's moving he's got the song in his head He's still humping Yeah, pretty much our wonderful enigma head of the window having played with some very um eclectic playlist I feel like I can play to basically anything but anything that could be as misconstrued as a ringtone a show's theme song Anything like that can't focus enough to play too hence, you know having a bill or a vermere baker street nice Um, okay, Alex Argo. I hate writers in the storm after I had two dudes in a row use it as their get it on song I like that Storm that's a grind because you know why because writers on the storm makes you turn your hips and grind instead of fucking pound Yeah Stoked to picture like everyone right now at home at your desk or at the library wherever the fuck you are Just literally sit there and start swirling your hips like you're fucking someone from behind Yeah, and then you can puke and dive heroin and have your body drag going to the place so you don't cause trouble What she said she actually walked out on the second time because it was just too weird It's like some early like guidebook is like their top eyes is very cringe You just walked out.
Can't you just say that song doesn't do it? That was a little bit that little moody It's a little moody. You could have just said no that song really doesn't turn me on our wonderful raggedy ogre Good old ogre. Yo-doh-doh-doh-ger Sometimes the cringe adds to the sadism true.
Yes. I turned on the recorder version of our heart will go on He's played uh, no toy dolls and then um the fish head song Fish heads fish heads really bully fish. Really bully fish heads are never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with all yellow women I took a fish head out to see a movie didn't have to pay to get it in In this has this You know I got my comedy start on dr. Demento, right?
You know that was my life as a child as a stone 10-year-old child It was listening to dr. Demento and some ways was barns and barns fish heads that I fucking swear is the best fucking song for replacing That's a song he definitely needs to listen to stone, but older also say that he's he'd be very happy He never heard enigma sadness to get in a club Never heard enigma sadness. You mean our enigma being said no no the song a sadness But he's actually a band called enigma or person in enigma. Yeah, no, no, no, no, he's not a secret The recording artist.
Sorry enigma. He's a great conforming on recording artists. It's a good cut down though I would I want to never hear enigma be sad at attention like every time enigma goes to the dungeon. He just cries I'm so sad Enigma Then you jumped in and said puff the magic dragon.
Oh man And and no puff the magic dragon with a masochist and use all soft toys Oh gosh Use all like Then I just all like fluffy feathers and just rub your hands and then maybe start off really start off with a knife Like I'm gonna grab this fucking bitches throat and I'm gonna pull her back to me And I'm gonna put that knife up to her fucking tits And I'm gonna be like are you fucking ready for this? And she's gonna be like yes, sir or whatever the fuck she calls me probably asshole You know, yes And I'm gonna put her over I'm gonna dig my closet in her back to like fucking bring blood up And then I'm gonna push her head down and I'm gonna push play and I'm gonna pull out the fucking feather duster And I'm gonna just rub those on her and sing that to her while her fucking gears just destroy And then when I'm done, I'm gonna fucking put her put a blanket on her and give her a fucking cookie and said You have pleased me and fucking walk away Yes All right, I'm gonna bounce this wrong, but samos aus Uh, oh the person that's a person. Yeah, there was a person. Yeah person's the person's that name is samos aus basically said uh alligator balls I don't know how to feel about that.
I'm exactly sure I know how to feel about that It's a song I never want to hear during a scene I mean I wrote that magical song. Sorry. Not sorry. But I said, you know what how can you say that?
Because technically I wrote that song or at least conceived it while in bed with me And I'm pretty sure it was post-queatus and I was it was it was something I forget kind of in general It was something like I can feel your balls dragging against me and oh And so then I just made like a place in out of it and she just laughed and we were just laughing You know because I'm old and my balls are fucking long enough to you know pick up gigs as a beachcomer Pretty much that's me every time I go to the ocean. They're like, hey You want some cash and I'm like I always need cash and so they're all clean this beach and I just kind of waddle So yeah alligator balls was spawned from that. Yeah, so it kind of already is a built-in love song But yeah, you also made a comment about I know I do this as a toy dogs toy doll song named firejack Oh, oh yeah, dude. No idea what firejack is.
Well, first off your fucking life is meaningless That's that's what I'm telling you there. You need to all go and get toy dolls dig that groove baby The best one of the best punk albums ever made happy punk toy dolls. They also didn't know nearly the elephant that was their big hit Nelly the elephant They were so fast You've mentioned literally 90 songs and every one of them I'm like, yeah, that'd be no No, I'm not good for this list. All right.
All right. All right. There was one though. Oh what go ahead.
No, sorry. Well, the last one impish 58 They said they liked you can call me out that don't know list but for sadism or red their pick is it's a small world Yeah, oh, yeah, no, no, no, no, no red I will finally say it red red every shade of red you want to drop me fucking nudge strap me someplace and I can't get out and play It's a small world. I will just figure out a way to string myself on my bondage True story Here comes a true story about small world So I live in Los Angeles born and raised in Los Angeles spin to Disneyland dozens and dozens of times when it was fun I wouldn't go there if you fucking paid me a hundred bucks and a free fucking ticket that places a piece of shit now um, fuck Disney by the way, um By the way, I don't think I'm gonna get any Pixar movies with that comment, but uh It back when Disneyland was cool and it was for people of all everyone poor and rich You had the ability to go to Disneyland if even if you didn't have a lot of money Um, I used to go on a lot of rights and I was stuck Sometimes those rides break down. Yeah, I was stuck in a small world.
Oh god. Jesus. Give me christ. No, no, no, no Two and a half hours.
Oh, no How you are today and a small world The sound playback was not the thing that was broken in the ride So we were trapped and then it moved it would move like 10 feet. Oh, oh god And to get all the way through the ride it took about two two and a half hours Oh my god A ride that's supposed to be three painful minutes that you go on just because you're bored and and uh two and a half hours of it's A small world and then as you move it changes languages, which is that was cool. Right? And uh, so yeah, so I almost pute because I know I I am absolutely serious when I say That could explain a lot of why you are because you're basically like psychologically tortured for two hours You know like they they talk about like people strapping down making listening music or like during Or they play music to drive the enemies nuts two hours of small.
It's a small world. Yeah, that would cost me a psychotic break Now funny enough because I went to Disneyland a lot as a kid I mentioned that I was also stuck in Pirates of the Caribbean for three and a half hours With my buddy Andre we were trapped in there for three hours and that was just dead like it made it a little bit farther And we were just stuck dead. They actually had to and it was yo-ho-yo-ho pirates life for me for some reason That didn't fuck with me as much. I mean, I still hadn't you know dreams about it for about a week Um, and but I did use yo-ho-yo-ho in bunnies, uh, 21st birthday drunken orbeez Um thing and had it in the room and you know, so I still love the song But it didn't affect me as much but that one we actually and this was kind of cool.
I don't know if I ever shared this We actually had to get out of the out of the little boat thing They pushed the boats to where you were by and we had to walk through the sets Oh cool. All right, so the to the escape doors after three and a half hours of sitting in the fucking uh boat And it was funny everyone else just kind of walk But they literally because I was like 14 15 at the time And they literally walk next to us and said don't fucking touch anything And we're just like oh look there's gold and a skeleton and pirates costumes and man We just wanted to fill my pockets and they're like don't touch anything. We're walking right next to you So uh, but yeah small world that was Yeah, that that I'm serious when I say that explains a lot why I'm the person you are today Well, maybe could have something to do with it, but safety dans up your ass is that's It's a magical segment so many conversations in this one segment Yes, and thank you to our listeners for jumping on and adding on their uh answers I mean love to see some more we can always have them in later, but uh, yeah to see what people to make people cringe and tap out Yeah, it's kind of interesting Firey Jack, Firey Jack, It's Red Hot on your back, Firey Jack, Firey Jack, Believe me, you know smack, Firey Jack, Firey Jack, Firey Jack It's Red Hot on your back, Firey Jack, Firey Jack Come on I have never heard it Toy Dolls? No, I've never heard the band Nothing, I mean Every your entire existence up into this point just evaporate.
I guess I know go and redeem your life I'm sorry my lord of thousands of pottons Ah, it's a one fold the money two fold the show three to get ready that and he did a fucking speed version of blue suede shoes Oh, okay All right, I'm leaving Worst things happen at sea Keep dreaming of better days Worst things happen at sea It's a positive song Keep dreaming of fucking Toy Dolls, pass girl I don't know the band, I'll look it up after the show, okay? Can we end the show first, please? Fine, I'll make you happy Bye And with that, thank you for the end of the show For $9, thank you for joining us If you have any questions, comment or you would like to send some other songs to torture boogie with Please reach out to us at the third of podcast at gmail.com Or you can find us on TikTok and Instagram on the name of the third of podcast And on FitLife there is a both a group and a page And if you go to that group you can actually start a discussion about the cringiest song ever And believe that to it You can support us for free for out by hitting a like a subscribe button on whatever app you're listening to us on So please go ahead and hit those buttons If you'd like to do a little bit more to support the show Please go to our patreon at patreon.com slash the third of podcast And sign up for our five bucks at the given fuck level And you get a show a few days early, lots behind the scenes, stuff including our half a PP show And we also get to claim this title of PP Sugar Zombies Sugar Zombies We love our Sugar Zombies, we love all our listeners And of course, loving pushy kisses to all of our patrons Without the world, you support me, the world's love I just had a horrible idea and I'm gonna do it Because you know I write songs, I write a lot of songs And some of them are okay But I've written some pretty cringy songs I wonder if I could dig up some of my Christian music Oh And put that at the end of the show Oh, oh I don't think I have it recorded, I don't, I don't, it's on cassette I don't, I'd have to find it But I'm sure I have a lot of bad songs, a lot of really bad songs So you know what I'm gonna do? Just to make everyone cringe I'm gonna put a song that I cringe That I'm like, I can't believe I fucking wrote that song I don't have that song I have, well I mean, which is most of them But let me see if I can pick the cringiest song That I've written And play that right now See ya Fools don't like me, but still Daddy doesn't like I came first