41. How Cancel Culture Keeps People Who Cause Harm from Changing Their Ways, and What ACTUALLY Helps

This episode is all about what actually supports growth and repair after harm, both for the person who was hurt and the person who caused it. We break down why cancel culture and rushed apologies often backfire, and what needs to be in place instead: psychological safety, time for reflection, and boundaries that protect without enabling. If you've ever questioned what real accountability should look like, this conversation offers a clear, grounded alternative.YOU WILL LEARN:Why cancel culture fails to support true growth and repairHow psychological safety, boundaries (including no-contact, if needed), and time are critical for genuine self-reflectionThe difference between shame and guilt, and why shame blocks transformationThe role of community, friends, family, therapists, and restorative justice in supporting accountabilityWhy performative apologies often do more harm than good and how to recognize themWhat it looks like to hold firm expectations for accountability without enabling or colludingRESOURCES:Sherman & Strang (2007) Restorative JusticeSelf Centered Ego Series: Episodes 27-30Self Centered Cancel Culture: Episode 40Love the show? A quick rating or review helps us so much!New episodes every Tuesday – hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.Follow us on IG: selfcentered.podThoughts, questions, or episode ideas? Email us: [email protected]: The Self Centered with Katie and Allie Podcast is intended for entertainment, educational, and reflective purposes only. The views, opinions, experiences, and content shared by the hosts and guests are personal and subjective. They are not presented as objective facts or as representative of any professional body, organization, or field, including psychotherapy, coaching, or personal training.This podcast includes personal reflections on dynamics in various relationships, platonic, family, romantic, and professional. General references to “family,” “an ex,” or “a friend”, for example, are intentionally vague to protect anonymity and do not refer to every individual in those categories. When names are used, they are fictitious, and identifying details are altered. Some information shared is based on research or professional experience, not personal history.The information provided does not constitute medical, mental health, legal, or other professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for consultation with qualified, licensed professionals. Listeners are strongly encouraged to seek the advice and support of appropriate professionals for their own needs.The hosts, guests, and creators of the podcast disclaim all liability for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential loss or damages arising from the use of, reliance on, or interpretation of the podcast content or any linked materials. Use of this podcast and related content is at your own risk. By listening, you acknowledge and agree to these terms.