41 - Malcolm Reynolds vs. Han Solo (feat. Brad Bultman)

Even Mal Reynolds, captain of the Firefly-class transport ship Serenity and unrepentant atheist, and Han Solo, captain of the Millennium Falcon and longtime Force-skeptic, would have to admit that this match was destined to happen eventually. Via a series of events that can most accurately be described as "wormholes for days," the two notorious smugglers-with-hearts-of-gold find themselves trapped in a strange galaxy that can be most accurately described as "far," and "possessing the qualities of a scape." Only one roguishly good-looking sci-fi sex icon can find the wormhole generator and escape, so Mal and Han are thrust into a space race that involves not just sailing through the black and/or navigating asteroid fields, but negotiating the criminal underworld and shooting anyone who gets in the way. Much like the characters they're representing, our advocates talk fast and bullshit faster, squeezing in as many lies per second as possible while desperately attempting to avoid the consequences of their actions in a contest that can be most accurately described as "fucking ridiculous." Between Colin's lecture on pitch, yaw, and roll, Miles' canon-maligning opening song, Kit's betrayal of R2-D2, Dan's obsession with Steve Miller, and returning special guest Brad Bultman's treatise on the concept of coolness...well, seems we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us? Big damn nerds, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry about the mess.