Welcome, it's episode 41 of the Here to Thrive podcast. I'm talking through feeling lost today and why that is actually a good thing. Have you ever thought of it that way? Or have you possibly been lost or had that feeling of being lost in the past or currently feeling that way?
If so, I think you'll find this episode really insightful. Either as a way to kind of look back and see how you progressed through that journey or is hopefully a path that can help inspire some hope right now for you. In this episode, my intention is to help you see the confusion about your life isn't all bad. I'm hoping that you will recognise how you can grow out of these icky kind of feelings.
And also, my hope is that it will ease some of the ache that comes when you're in the thick of it. Without further ado, let's launch in for another week. Welcome to Here to Thrive. I'm your host Kate Snowwise.
This is a podcast with people who are ready to step up and live a happier life. It's for those of us who are dedicated to understanding ourselves and getting the best that we can out of this thing called life. It's a mix of psychology and modern spiritual thought, always with a focus on practical advice so that you can take it back and apply it to your own life. I don't believe we're here to merely survive.
I truly believe we're here to thrive. So let's get going. In my experience, most of us have been there at one time or other. Had that feeling of, oh my my, where is my life going?
This isn't the path I had pictured for myself or things have changed and now I'm feeling lost. I've been there multiple times in my life. Three absolutely come to mind immediately and I'll probably talk to some of those as we go through. But I first of all just want you to know that you're not alone if you've felt this way or currently feeling this way.
Lost and confused. Feeling lost in life is, I would say, but like having an ache in your belly and it's not a physical ache, but a psychological ache. It can be so anxiety-inducing when you wonder where your life is heading. It hurts.
But I want to start by telling you that it isn't the end of the story. If you are feeling lost right now, this feeling won't last forever. And if you've felt lost before, you're living proof of it. So I want to jump in and talk through why and how this could possibly be a good thing.
My first thought is that feeling lost is like an emotional indicator that something is or was out of alignment in your life. Out of work. Often feeling lost comes from when the picture we've painted for ourselves about future changes in some way. It could be the end of a relationship, the change in a career path that has been out of your control or is influenced heavily by outside sources.
Feeling that you didn't necessarily plan for or paint a picture around what your future would look like. Obviously divorce, marriage slits, relationship splits, huge changes that can lead to people feeling rarely lost and confused about their future direction. In my opinion, that lost feeling though is like a warning light that comes on on our emotional dashboard and says something needed to change. I believe it's when we're a little bit out of whack and that warning light comes when your attention is needed.
Like whoa, look at me. That feeling of lost is saying, look at your life, look at your life. What isn't working? It's feeling lost that kind of forces us to take off those blinkers and open our eyes to where we are in fact in life.
And also what we need. I'm going to talk about that a little bit more. But I do believe that feeling lost can be that emotional indicator, that feeling that rises up within us to draw out attention to what needs to change. Our feelings are there for a reason.
They shouldn't be ignored. The good thing about this kind of feeling is that it tends to be pretty loud and won't go away until you give it some kind of a teach in until you feel a little bit more found again. When I think about my own story, if you've listened back, I started college and went to law school. Now I was just running through the motions.
I hadn't given my life planning much thought and I wanted a corporate life. I wanted what I perceived as a glamorous life when I was that age. By the third year of law school, I got through my first year fine. Then I got sick of my second year, failed it, managed to talk my way into my third year, goodness no style, and then didn't even go to the exams.
When I look back, I felt so lost once law was taken away from me as an option. When I look back at my behavior, I had been choosing to turn my back on law the whole time I'd been studying it. I wasn't going to my classes. I wasn't going to my tutoring groups.
I was not partaking. I was not interested. Even though I had other warning signs in my life that it wasn't the right career path for me, I just kept sticking at it because I wasn't thinking about it. I wasn't thinking about alternatives.
I wasn't until I really reached my rock bottom around it and law was no longer an option for me because you can't fail two years in a row and keep getting in, that I was forced to take that step back and go, well what is right? What is my new next thing? Admittedly, I didn't immediately see the lesson in it, but now I can look back and oh my mind, it's such a blessing that I didn't end up on that path because I would have been ignoring the warning signs that were always there, that it wasn't the right career path for me, that it wasn't going to light the flame in my belly, and that I was looking at for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately, it took until I was feeling really lost and confused about the direction of my life that I actually just turned to psychology as my fall back because it was the one class at school that I loved.
Why didn't I do that to start with? Who knows? It was feeling lost that pushed me and nudged me in the right direction because I just had to follow what let me up inside. I just had to follow what felt good and it wasn't until I felt so confused about my life that I was willing to just follow what brought me joy.
So, and I can see that in so many people I work with and ask that question, what brings you joy? What lights you up and makes you get excited? When you're feeling lost, I think that's one of the first questions to ask yourself. Does that decision make me feel good inside?
The second reason why I believe feeling lost is a good thing is all to do with the fact that it means that you're no longer unaware. It's that idea that feeling something is better than feeling nothing. If you can recognise that you're feeling confused about your future path, it means that you're more self-aware than if you weren't at that place. You're no longer ignorant and completely unaware of what you need.
Shockingly, you're actually one step closer to working it out. What I've seen in myself and in other people is that we don't tend to make changes or look at ourselves if we're just a little bit uncomfortable. Often we have to be really uncomfortable inside. And a lot of pain before we're willing to do the scary thing.
Even though we know in our heart of hearts it's what we need to do. I'm a big believer that we have the answers we seek. We often just need to get to a point where we're really willing to listen to ourselves, to listen to that stuff that is rising up from within us and take action on it. It's feeling this level of discomfort that pushes us to the point that we will go looking for another option.
You could say it pushes us onto our path. The third thing that I think is good about feeling lost, the policing that is hidden within it, is that it forces us to look inside. It forces us to grow. And I use the word force because it kind of does.
It pushes us until we are willing to look at ourselves. Self-reflection is such a key to living a whole and meaningful and fulfilling life. But we're not taught how to do it. And so often it will take until we are pushed into a corner before we look for how to get ourselves out of it.
As human beings, I believe that we're wired to seek meaning. It makes sense of things. And so if we are feeling this kind of confusion and discomfort inside of us, it's one of the things that will push us to explore those steps within ourselves. I know for me it was my pain that led to my journey of self-discovery.
Can you remember the last time you put aside time to reflect on your life, that you put aside time to plan and evaluate how you feel about things to truly self-reflect? We don't tend to do it naturally. Just check in with ourselves and make sure that we are in fact creating a life that we really want, one that lines up with our wants, needs and desires. And if you do, seriously beg up to you.
I'm sure some of the listeners to this podcast do. That's why you're here. But for most of us, there needs to be a level of pain before we go looking for solutions. I know that with most of my coaching clients, they come to me because something hurts, something in their life is hurting and they're looking for a way to alleviate that frustration, pain, stress, suffering, whatever it is.
And if they're not coming to me because they're feeling lost, confused or in pain, it's typically because there's a pain of not living up to their full potential. So they know that they've got more in them and they just want to have support in reaching and thriving and living into their full potential. It's still kind of read from a little bit of discomfort. But what I'm trying to say is that the feeling of not knowing is what forces you to go and look for the answers.
It's what drives you to build and create a beautiful future. And wrapping up, although bearing loss can be incredibly scary and overwhelming, just trust that it means that you're one step closer to finding what you do truly need. It's a crucial step on the path to true and deep fulfillment. And I'd really encourage you to use the energy that comes from the ache within you to start searching within yourself and to use that energy to grow.
I want to wrap up today's podcast with one of my legitimately favourite quotes. It's the one from Steve Jobs that you may have heard before. It reads, you cannot connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards.
So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something. You've got destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down and it has made all the difference in my life.
If you're feeling lost right now, I want you to trust that one day it will all make sense. I'm a living example. Imagine if I'd been a lawyer. As per usual, if you have appreciated this, it would mean the world to me if you could introduce your friend to the podcast or if you haven't yet subscribed, click that button so that I'll pop up in your feed again next time.
If you've been listening for a while and you'd like to help me spread the word, review and iTunes is always appreciated. I've got an interview next week with Sonia and Sabrina Choket-Tali. They are the daughters of the self-help slash spirituality big time guru Sonia Choket. I've been a fan of hers for years, but what is so beautiful about talking to her daughters now?
They have such a vibrant, fresh energy when we talk about self-development and grounded spirituality. So that is such beautiful conversation. The first time there's been three of us in an interview, so it's lots of fun. Stay tuned for that next week.
After that, I'm going to be taking a four week break. I'm in the process of moving to the Twin Cities. So to be kind of myself, I'm going to remove a little bit of the pressure and take my holiday now. So there's going to be a short break in programming, but I will be back very soon after that.
I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you so much for letting me into your world. Until next week, keep thriving.