410: What if your mother tried to kill you?

After surviving a childhood where love meant saving his mother from the ravages of schizophrenia, a man spends decades trying to outrun the self he lost, until one final visit forces him to face what was never his to fix.  Today’s episode featured Johnathan Koller. Johnathan has written a book titled, Hidden, and is available on Amazon, find it here: bookIf you’d like to email Johnathan, you can at [email protected]. Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits  Content/Trigger Warnings: child abuse, childhood neglect, child sexual abuse, coercive parenting, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, parentification, mental illness, schizophrenia, paranoid delusions, PTSD, alcoholism, suicidal threats, staged suicide, self-harm, body shaming, family estrangement, grief, death of a parent., explicit language Social Media:Instagram: @actuallyhappeningTwitter/X: @TIAHPodcastFacebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group Website: thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon: patreon.com/happeningAudible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit Audible.com. Read more about Whit’s insights into each episode on Beyond The Story Substack: whitmissildine.substack.com. On the Substack, Whit will be sharing personal reflections on the deeper themes that emerge from each episode and from across the conversations he’s been immersed in for years, including the psychology of radical transformation, the power of storytelling, the lessons of trauma and healing, and how we die to an old Self and are reborn. He’ll share behind-the-scenes glimpses into the making of the show and his own personal journey in creating it. Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Transcripts: Full transcripts of each episode are now available on the website, thisisactuallyhappening.com Intro Music: “Sleep Paralysis” - Scott VelasquezMusic Bed: Pure_Ambience_APM ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources: National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.