42. Too Loyal To Let Go - The Hidden Cost of Always Being the “Good Friend”

Ever felt like you’re too loyal to walk away from people who hurt you? Yeah. Us too.In this episode of Too Much Apparently, we (Carly and Alice — two therapists navigating very different experiences of friendship and connection) get real about loyalty — when it’s beautiful, when it’s painful, and when it quietly keeps you stuck in relationships that aren’t good for you.We explore what it means to be the one who always shows up, always gives, always stays — and why letting go can feel so much harder than staying, even when staying hurts.This time we talked about:🎙️ We’ve felt this thing too (and we still do): Hello being the 3am friend, giving endless chances, over-giving in relationships, and struggling to stop caring even when you’ve been hurt.👀 What it looks like in real life: One-sided friendships, doing all the emotional labour, staying too long, overlooking hurtful behaviour, and feeling like you’re always the one trying to hold the relationship together.🧠 Why our brains do it: Attachment patterns, fear of rejection, low self-worth, people-pleasing, and the belief that if you just love people enough, they’ll love you back the same way.🧍🏽‍♀️🧍🏻 The different ways it shows up: Clinging, over-functioning in friendships, avoiding conflict, rationalising behaviour, and struggling to leave even when you know something isn’t right.🧰 Coping mechanisms: Over-giving, staying silent about hurt, explaining others’ behaviour away, lowering your needs, and prioritising connection over your own wellbeing.🌱 How to make peace with it: Your loyalty isn’t the problem — but it deserves to land somewhere safe, mutual, and valued.Thanks for listening           💛💜🩷🩵🧡💬 New episodes every Monday.🎧 Follow now to join the conversation.🧡 CONNECT WITH US 🎙️ Podcast socials: → Instagram: @toomuchapparently → TikTok: @toomuchapparently → YouTube: Too Much, Apparently → Website: www.toomuchapparently.com→ Substack: Too Much, Apparently👩‍💻 Carly Radford: → Website: www.carlyradford.com → Instagram: @the_sensitivity_therapist👩🏻‍💻 Alice Tew: → Website: www.alicetew.com → Instagram: @reparentingwithalice📩 Email us: [email protected] 🗓️ New episodes every MondayThis is a podcast that says: bring your too-muchness… we’re here for it.Disclaimer: Just a quick note to say this podcast isn’t therapy, and it’s not a substitute for professional support. We’re here to share ideas and experiences, but if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional or a support service near you.sensitivity podcast, friendship podcast, people pleasing podcast, therapy podcast, mental health podcast, emotional podcast, boundaries podcast, relationship podcast, trauma podcast, neurodivergent podcast, Too Much Apparently podcast