42. Under The Influence

A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation.  Hello. Welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. Today, Under the Influence. I’m feeling supersonic, give me a gin and tonic. Let’s have a round on me. That means I am paying for this order of drinks. Barkeep! A round of your finest gin with your wettest tonic. I’m paying for all my friends today. In other words, the drinks are on me… it does not mean I spilled the drinks on me. Although, if you have ever been out with me, you know that is not out of the question. I spill. Sometimes. Others you see my rapid feline-like reflexes. I am not always faster than a speeding bullet. Do you remember who flew faster than a speeding bullet? I’ll give you a hint, he wore his underwear outside of his clothing. And it wasn’t because he was shitfaced, plastered, or drunk. You might think that a guy who thinks he can fly around the world and fight evil must be under the influence of something… alcohol, drugs… hell, maybe even lust or --- love--. No, this is a super man from another planet. Superman, I said it. Ok. I’m always bad at guessing games. I either can’t guess or I give the answer. Whatever. We are talking about drinking. My glass is empty. Let’s have another round, this time the bartender has said, it is on the house. This means that we don’t have to pay for the drinks in this order. Here here! Let’s raise a glass and toast the bartender. Speaking of bartenders, I had to stop going to therapy because my therapist kept on insisting I had an unhealthy relationship with my bartender. I told her it was a reciprocal relationship. I give he gives. I feel like I get the best part. Really, it is him who should reconsider our relationship. Anyway, it is my therapist who I am leaving. I don’t need that level of negativity in my life. I have to drink just to get through the rest of the week after a session with her. She brings up the worst topics you can imagine. It is not good for my mental health.  I’m kidding! Oh my God, I’m just kidding. Mom, stop making that face. Speaking of which, I spent my birthday with my best friend. I drank him under the table. This means that I drank more than he did. He had to stop drinking. I don’t really know why. He can’t hold his drink. This doesn’t mean that he can’t keep his beverage in his hands. This means that when he drinks, he appears drunk. If a person can hold their drink, that means that they drink and don’t appear drunk. I not only drank him under the table, I held all the drinks. I’m kidding. I don’t do those things. It isn’t like I am some common barfly. I’m no drunk. I just wet my whistle every now and then. That sounds very sexual, but it isn’t. It means to have a taste of something, to have a drink. In Mexico, you can get your beverages to-go, in a bag with a straw. I don’t know why more people don’t do that with booze. Or maybe they do. When you ask for one for the road it is meant to keep your buzz going for a while.  After all this drinking, you must be drunk as a skunk. You might want to get some courage up to do something. The thing is, no matter what you do when you are drunk, it doesn’t count. Yeah, no, that isn’t true either. I’ve lied about a lot in this episode. Do you know who never tells lies??? Children and drunks, that's who. Unless the guy calls you at 2:00 am professing undying love. That’s not love. I promise. <a href="https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aqRk65Rgwrez0ObQvnHYPrvOpWj-Xm57L6NSJ