Good citizen. Yes, boogie. No, it's not boogie anymore. It's Captain Labia.
Oh, Captain, Captain Labia, a good thing you're here to save the day. Save the day. That's the sound of my, my loose labia skin flapping in the wind. Oh, I don't know how to labia, but okay.
Well, apparently my entire body is now a labia. Oh, I don't need that open. Yes. Well, you then don't go on clapper or tiktok.
That's a... I don't know if the kids at home know what clapper is while they're filming. Well, we'll have to fill them in. Let's get into a gash, dern show and do it.
The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it. But if you're curious, here we go.
One, two, three, four. There you feel your six-loppiest plot plane. The birdie-barkest care mature designers, my me, straight. Birdie-barkest, come and join our kinky world of play.
The birdie-barkest. Yes. Hello, good citizens, and welcome to Birdie-barkest to show rexplore the adventures of the kinky lifestyle sex and the human mind. Recording on Zencaster, where six more weeks of winter means Boogie has six more weeks before he has to shave his crotch for bikini season, I'm half-girl.
I am Count Boogie, and let me tell you, I have folds that cover it. No. Oh. Sorry.
It's... I am sorry. I just, you know, don't... Why do I do these things?
Why do I do any of the things that I do? I have no friggin' clue. You know, I'm with you on that. But so, hello to Pivert-a-Pikest listeners, zombies, zits, P.P.
Masters, P.P. Zombie, Hot Puckles. Sugar zombies, or sugar zombies that are here for a patient. And by the way, if you've listened to 50 or more shows of Pivert-a-Pikest, you are a P.P.
Zombie. If you see every show we've done, which is now 420 episodes, you are... Sorry. Yeah, well, that's a feat.
A very smelly feat you have accomplished there. That's listening to all the episodes, and it gets worse from there. It gets worse from there. But welcome to...
We have some new listeners, I believe, from social media that have partaken of all the humiliation that I have to offer a world. And so, hello to Clapper viewers. If there's some of you that have migrated over here to see what the hell Pivert-a-Pikest and this weird guy is all about. Hello, welcome.
They have seen things, Pat girl. Oh. If they're here, they have seen things. I had a viral video.
I did, and I talked about, I think, on the Patreon show. Right. That I did, you know, because I'm on Ozempic and I've lost all this weight. And so, I did this, kind of, took seven months.
I did a before and after, and I did it in kind of a silly way. And I put it on a lot of the social medias, but there's this new format. Well, it's not necessarily new, but it's kind of new. Because TikTok shut down everyone migrated over to Clapper or Red Note.
And so, I'd never been on Clapper, and so I uploaded the Ozempic review to Clapper, and it went kaboom. That's amazing. Yeah, it's like at 127,000 views or something. What?
Yeah. So, it's... The last thing I talked about was like a thousand, I was like, what, two, three days ago? Yeah, no.
It went pretty good. I mean, once again, this is social media. So, you know, it gets impressive when you start getting into the millions and whatever. 127,000 plays is a good showing.
It's not a bad showing, and it's a lot of frickin' people. And the problem is, is these people got to see me in my two worst physical situations. They got to see before when I was a fat pregnant-looking cow. And they got to see now that I'm Captain Labia, and I have all this loose skin, and it's horrible.
And I'll do anything for a joke. My pride goes right out the window if it's a good joke. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, so that's been kind of fun.
So, if there's some people that migrated from over there, welcome to the show. You probably won't be listening very long when you find out what we're about. But, you know, to everyone else, you're in a good place now, Pat, girl. Yeah, no.
Yes, because I'm loving living in the house and having Donna's here 24-7. No, because we're having all the wonderful things of homeownership, like toilets that are having problems and having rehabbing my garage. But I did finally get to do a scene with Donna's and breaking her house. Oh, so you did it in the house?
Yes, yes. We didn't have the boys last week. I think it was last week. And we finally, I said, I had made an appointment with him that Thursday to please beat my ass because I really needed it.
It was long overdue. So, we took out, gosh, we took off our paint stick. We took out, oh, this new paddle that I, Donna's actually won from the person that he captured at the hunt. It's this purple resin paddle, but it's got skulls engraved into it.
Oh, so pretty. What else? Like a little chain whip, like three or four different toys and took it super slow because both of us hadn't done a scene in quite a while because we just been so busy. But it was just so nice just to melt into the bed and get my ass beat.
And then he had me raise my butt up and have me on all fours, just had me paddling my butt and just in a minor five. Oh, it was so, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, nice. It's good. And so was there a penetrado after that?
Oh, of course there was kind of a try after that. But especially I'm already up on four. Oh, fours. I'm already halfway there.
And it's like, why not? So light it on in there, classy. Oh, yes. Nice and subspacey afterwards and just kind of late on the bed for four or five minutes just enjoying the, the snowing was much, much needed.
Well, that's kind of good because, you know, when you play at the club, you don't play sexually necessarily. Yes. And so this is nice to finally have a place where you can play and then if sex happens afterwards, then that's just, you know, added sugar on top of the. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That's great. Yeah. And so I'm going to talk about that.
I have a other than other than I'm almost finished with a masturbating in the bath song. Yes. To the folks at clapper. Yes.
You stumbled into the weeds. Hi. We're here to say hi. This is, yeah, this is it.
Cause well, so far I haven't really uploaded any of the perverted pie. There's some stuff I've just started putting up that's kind of like, oh, this isn't an innocent person. And it gets worse from there. New thing.
Let's get into some show though. All righty. So we have gone back to the Reddit and we found a nice little interesting post about exhibition kink and we've always talked about it previously on the show about what to do and what not to this person was seeking advice on one of the Reddit boards and said, so in the past few years, I've become a major exhibitionist. Thanks to my partner who's always been into it, but I'm not quite into the sneaky public stuff.
I've always been more nervous about getting caught understandably and someone's seeing something non-consensually. Yay. Good. I'm more into being watched like when having sex or masturbating, like my biggest fantasy is probably my dog presenting me to a group of people using toys on me, tying me up, making me score it, et cetera.
And even just writing this on blushing, doing my feet. But they wanted to know how do you appease this, but are risking seeing something that they didn't want to see. And I'm going to say kudos to this writer because the main thing we always talk about about next, especially kink is don't expose the vanilla world to it. Yeah.
Sorry. I mean, not intentionally. Not intentionally. Not intentionally.
Not intentionally. Well, I mean, I think the easiest way to appease this, you know, without risking the general unknowing public is, you know, get on the phone and invite your friends and family over to watch your fuck. That's, I mean, that's, you know, it'll work and tell them you'll throw a piece in the oven and mom and dad come on over and sit on the couch and say, yeah, yeah, set up some tarps or something like that, you know, and just say it'll be a good time. Good family event, you know, fucking front of mom and dad, maybe cousins or something like that.
Make sure everyone's over 18 because you don't want to be creepy about it. And no, not you. Yeah, no, no, I mean, there's a lot of places and the comments in this were really good. Yes.
Because, you know, the first thing that they went to is, well, that's what, you know, Dungeons Swingers clubs and stuff like that. If it's live, if you're interested in doing it live, like she sounds like she's interested in doing it live and actually maybe having people interact. So the clubs would be a good place for that. But it's kind of, you know, I'll let you dig in, but I'll start with that and then we'll get into some of how to make that work.
So I'll let you know. Yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of hot and exciting to go to a public park and do something with your partner or, you know, maybe sneak behind a building in Durko in the bathroom.
And we've said it once, we said a million times, please, please, please do not involve non-consenting people in your kink. It is wrong. It's not nice. Don't do it.
Now that being said, there are. I do it all the time. I don't do it. I ask all and welcome to your world.
I mean, I don't, I mean, I've never been, okay, I've been caught in the past by cops, but that's, that's what their job is, is to catch you fucking in the car. True. I've never been caught doing things in a car or stuff like that. And then you do try to minimize that risk.
But I can't say I haven't done stuff in public because I've done lots of stuff in public. Oh, I've done stuff in public too. I mean, but it's just, you know, you run that risk and it's just, I've known people who've gone, had to be registered sex offenders because whoops, we actually had sex or did something on a piece of property we weren't supposed to and too close to school or church or whatever. All right.
But in the meanwhile, lots of places can be done. And we've talked about this in the past, for example, if you have a great backyard for a tent up, if you have a neighbor or a family member, hey, can I borrow your backyard for the weekend? Cool. Lots.
There are some dungeons that are six positive. If they're not six positive, you may be able to talk into, hey, is there a separate room where I can have a dungeon monitor and have something that could be six positive. Talk with your local dungeon people. Private parties are great for that.
If you have a house party, if you rent a space or what have you, there's ways to do it, but it's just, is it worth the risk of going to jail, getting registered as a sex offender, all this stuff? I mean, I've done stuff on rooftops. I mean, you know, in this day and age of drones, hmm, there might be some pictures of half girls, but somewhere. Even adult theaters, there's local adult theaters here in the North Carolina area that it's just advertised like quote unquote, this is the adult night and basically, you know, consent is key.
So yeah, ask me for you. But otherwise, if you want to watch people have sex, that's the place to go. So I think it's really important to really be specific. She was pretty specific about what she wants, whether there's light interaction, maybe some toys or whatever.
She wasn't describing being fucked by everyone in the room or whatever. And once again, that's actually pretty extreme for what most people want. Most people that are into exhibitionism, they want to be seen. They don't want anybody touching them or jerking off on them while they play or whatever.
So it's kind of important for you to know what level of exhibition that you want. If you just want to be in a place where people are around and you're doing something with your partner and they can see it from kind of a distance, that's important to know because different types of parties have different rules about engagement with guests. And you can go to a party and if you don't know what you're going into, all of a sudden 10 guys have their fucking dicks out and they're jerking off literally two feet away from you. And that's what that party is.
That's what that party was set up for. It's your job as the person attending the party to ask to know what type of party you are because then there's many other parties, you know, like the parties that I used to host and stuff like that where you were supposed to stay at a distance. You were not invited into a place scene, you know, five, 10, 12 feet away unless you were specifically invited into the place scene prior to the place scene. So you need to know what type of party, what type of swing or club, what type of private event that you're going to.
And that requires you to get a hold of the host of that. If you're not hosting the event yourself, you need to contact the host event and say, hey, this is what I want to do. How do you guys handle that? Right.
Because if you don't and you can't go in and bitch, people do it all the time. Oh, yeah. They go, they go into those parties and they're like, I don't want these people to go in and they're like, that's what this party is. You fucking walked in the door.
It says it right here. This is what this party is. You should ask. So it's really important to not get yourself in trouble being excited to have people watch you that you don't want to be touched and then just go into some random party or go into like a video arcade at a porn shop.
Those things are mostly not managed. Yeah. You know, a lot of the porn because they're, you know, it's kind of just that hush hush because if the ownership gets involved at the porn arcade, then they, the police can say you organize this. And if they're in that area, then they can't, you know, they can't separate themselves.
Oh, I didn't know, you know. So you kind of have to really be specific about where you're going with that. And that's if you're doing it live, if you want to be an exhibitionism, there's another type of exhibitionism, which a lot of people cover their faces and identifying marks, set up an account that doesn't have their name on it. And they shoot videos with their partner in the privacy of their own home.
And then they post that online to certain groups. That is really, really common. It's very important to not use your real name or any cute name that your friends or family might know, do something that's completely separate, make sure you have on a full mask, don't put on partial masks or whatever, cover any jewelry or tattoos. Anything that's identifying or whatever.
And then that gives you the ability to do whatever you want. And you know, nobody's going to touch you. And you know, only the people that want to see it because you're loading it up onto a FET Life or, you know, Alt.com or any of those that allow you to put videos and put nude videos. And then you know, you can have that there.
And then you can do things like, you know, ask for comments, you know, depending on what type, if you like humiliation, people and people will always be more than happy to say nasty, dirty things to you in response to your video. You can ask, there's people that ask for come tribute, come tributes, which are the absolute reason I will never ever buy a used cell phone. Hey, I sent you one of my used cell phones. Yeah, it's from you.
It's from you and not a dude like, yeah, you see come tributes all the time. And a come tribute is basically where the guy takes a picture of him jerking himself off looking at your picture or video. And then a lot of times your picture will be up on his cell phone and he'll jerk off onto the cell phone. Yes.
And so yeah, never, never buy used cell phones. And one of the things I remember back in my swinger days, a lot of swingers, especially that the bigger, swinger communities, they'll do what's called the hotel takeover. And they'll actually like kind of block off an area of the hotel or basically like, this is where we're putting all the freaky people. And I remember these to have a hospitality room, which is basically anybody who don't want to get a room could go in there and do stuff.
However, there'd be other times where the block of rooms would be kind of on the ground floor. So people would go leave their window, like the shades open so that way people can walk by and watch you doing stuff, but nobody would actually enter the room. So that would kind of maybe satisfy her because she did mention in the post about like, she doesn't really want anybody interacting and she doesn't really want to out in public quote, unquote, but this would satisfy the, I know there's people watching and can see there's people watching, but I know they're consented because they're in this part of the hotel. So it might be worth a look into your local swinger community because there's a huge overlap with BDSM.
So yeah, ultimately it really does. You have to just know what you want. And if you're going to do it online, that is definitely easiest, but you really, really, really have to protect your identity when you do something online and not do stupid things. Do not post clothing that you wear on your, on your work, you stuff or don't use uniforms from work or, you know, because once again, you just don't want to ruin your whole life because you have a kink to have people watch you play, you know.
So be very, very careful about that. And I don't know, I don't know what else we could really share on that. Yeah, I mean, it can be done obviously carefully, obviously, and I'm, like I said, kudos to the original person for not involving people, but just in it. And what, there's another thing that if you don't have in your community, start talking to people on Fed or other, you know, Reddit or other post events, you say, Hey, I'm looking to build this.
Is anybody interested? Yeah, or, yeah, we're on Fed Life, or places that you can localize where you search. You can look for people there because there's lawyers, there's lots of lawyers that want to watch. So if you make friends with a couple and they like to be lawyers and you like to be an exhibitionist, that may be a thing where you can have, even if it's just one couple or a couple people come over that you know, like to watch.
And then you can set the ground rules for your place. Doesn't have to be a giant party. It can literally just be a few people coming over and you, you know, throw in that frozen pizza that you save for mom and dad and mom and dad. So dinner in a show, you can make it happen.
It can, but just you really do have to protect yourself on that. So I guess we have a second topic too, because we rank on that one. Okay. So our next topic, which is something that's really, really near and dear to my heart, service submission.
Okay. So this poster on Reddit as service submission, how do you encourage your Dom to enjoy it guilt free? So as a dummy, how do you accept service and enjoy receiving services without feeling guilty? Or how do you overcome the guilt, if any?
And then as a sub, how do you encourage your domain to enjoy receiving your service without having them feel any guilt? It's a good one. Yeah, this is a good one. It's a whole for me.
Yeah. I've been challenged on this as well as a top dominant, whatever the hell you want to call it. It flows. And that's what I had to discover is that who am I really as a top or a dominant?
And what type of submissive am I actually connected to? Because I went through this challenge of like, well, I don't always feel comfortable with a lot of types of service. And then that had to develop over time. And because I felt guilty and insecurity.
And for me, it really came down to guilt is really about feeling that you don't deserve service in the first place. Yeah. It's like a lack of confidence or self work worth. And that is a complete issue.
That's its own issue. Why do you feel that you aren't worth service? Why do you feel that you aren't worthy of somebody who is obviously into it, of giving you a type of service that's a self worth issue? And that's something that you need to work on on your own.
But even if you are confident and you're just not as into that, that's something you need to kind of figure out as well. Yeah, it's you could struggle with it. I mean, because I've been in relationships where, you know, my service emissions kind of been abused in a way where it's basically like, Hey, path girl, go make my coffee. Even if it's three o'clock in the morning.
Hey, path girl knows I like this favorite drink show. So even though she's worked 10 hour day, she'll stop on the way home to get it. No, no, no. Right.
Like I've from day one, when I started dating Donas, I basically said the rule of if you're in my house, I make coffee, coffee is a love language. And as I even extended into martini service, I actually christened the house last night where Donas came up to me and gave me a kiss in the forehead and said, would you give me the honor of having the first martini in this house? And I said, absolutely. And I happily made him a martini and I gave it to him.
There's a fine line submissive wise as I know when I do something for Donas, like make a coffee or make a martini that I'm going to have something reciprocated later. I don't expect it to be reciprocated, but I know in other ways, taking care of me in the bedroom, Hey, while you're out working all day, I did this for you, whatever it is, there's a circle of reciprocation. It's when it becomes one sided. That's when it's just basically like, Okay, she's doing all this stuff for me.
And I'm not doing anything back. You can kind of get that guilty feeling. And then the same side of, well, I'm doing all this shit for him and he ain't doing it. So I kind of feel bad.
It's, it's really about what is that service mean in that power exchange between the dominant and submissive or even just the top and the bottom where it's just basically like, what are they both getting out of it? You know, because it's just one sided. It really just it can lead to really icky feelings. Yeah, is this a play scene or a 24 seven life service domestic service relationship power dynamic?
It's kind of important to know the difference because you have, and this is once again with everything, if you're new to this lifestyle, if you're new to these dynamics, it's very important to understand what I like, what path girl likes. There's a hundred different variables of what other people are looking for in those. And that's why you try to figure that out as soon as you can. That's why you talk and you negotiate and you try, even if you're new, this is something you're going to have to figure out because there are some people who are non reciprocating that and that's not necessary in the relationship because maybe the service submissive is into kind of the humiliation of it.
Maybe that's something that gets them off. Maybe they like being treated like they're a useless slave and that's a kink. That's not my kink. It's somebody else's kink.
Um, there are dominance. There's just so many different ways. It's really important for you to understand what that means for you. And once you do, then you can really start working out like in path girl in your situation, you know, there is a respect outside of the play scene.
Yes. You know that there's reciprocation in your normal everyday life and he goes and gets things where he takes care of you when you're sick, does things, gives you good anal, makes you come a bunch of times like there's, it's an equal thing. So when you let go in the play scene to be of service, then you don't have anything in the back of your mind. That's like, well, he really doesn't appreciate me or shit like that.
Yeah. And I've been in that boat before where it's just basic. I've had partners where I I've been over backwards and then some for them. And I know it wasn't being reciprocated.
And that's when I started the feeling, the anger and the resentment. But even now, like with moving in with Donis, I had to have discussion with him about, look, I know there are going to be days where you're going to get up super early and you're going to want to get a cup of coffee and I know to be nice, you're not going to wake me up and I had to kind of let some of that control go about he's going to make a cup of coffee every once in a while. I have to be okay with that. So it's just, you know, we kid around about it.
I'll see a coffee cup in the sink and go, oh, you make coffee without me. You know, but it's, it's a fine line between you kind of have to just talk about, like, what does that, what does that act mean to you? You know, like, and especially also if it's doing something that you don't like, I love making my guys coffee. I love making him martinis because basically everywhere I go now, he's like, oh yeah, you're martinis are better.
I'm like, it gives me a little swishy. But so if I was doing something that I didn't like, then maybe I'll be breathing some, you know, anxiety in there and maybe some guilt on his part about like, Oh, I'm forcing her to do something. She doesn't like, but it's also in the, oh, sorry. Go ahead.
No, it's, it's once again just boils down to what we always say, communication. Well, it's also the thing, like if you're in a situation, this is maybe a little bit of a side note when you're in a situation where it's like, okay, normally you are the coffee maker and that makes you feel good, that you're the only person that makes the coffee. If there's the day where you can't make the coffee because he gets up earlier, there's some other thing that there's other things you can do to make up and mitigate that service. You know, I wasn't able to make you the coffee that I wanted to make you this morning.
So in order to appease your need to be of service, there could be another service. Okay. Why I need you, you know, go refold my shirt. It can be something that doesn't actually have much of a purpose.
Because it's really about doing the service. And that can be something that you can also do or there can be a certain thing, like, okay, well, I want you to kneel when I get home and do this or that or it can be a sexual service or, you know, there's, there's a lot of different ways to have service. For me, I can do service where it's like, but I want it to be practical. I like practical service.
Like, Hey, this is something that I need assistance with that makes my life better if you can be of service to that. And some of those things aren't sexy. Like, Hey, I need you to help me post things and do this while we do this together. And you can wear a collar and we can enter you into this service, you know, in a submissive headspace.
But, you know, I don't want to serve you during this service because a lot of people are like, you know, you can get to where the submissive all of a sudden is acting like the dominant and saying, I'm going to serve you this way. And I'm going to do this, this and this. And I'm like, that's not really service. You're just trying to top in that sense, you know, like I'm going to do the dishes.
And then halfway through, you're going to spank me and fuck me. And it's like, okay, well, that's, that's a fun place scene to talk about. And it's like, okay, well, that's, that's a, that's a fun place scene to organize. But that's not really the service that I want.
So I want a submissive that's going to be of service in the way that I need. That's the, that's the not fun part of submission, which is technically the definition of the word submission is usually not something that is wanted. And so, so that's you have to consider that when you decide who you're going to be in service to. But there's other creative ways to get that service done.
I mean, other partners that I've had, like if I wasn't physically with them, I would send them a cute little coffee meme and that would be me getting their quote unquote coffee. Or I know another couple where the guy picks out his female partners underwear every morning and there are other days where he's either homesick or he's, you know, she leaves earlier. So what she does is, you know, he's supposed to pick the underwear for her to wear that day. And then it's like, well, I got to get up early.
So she takes a picture of the underwear and then puts them on and sends it to him and basically goes, okay, I approve of this. So there's cute ways to do it. And it's just the guilt, you know, the guilt I can understand, like you feel like, oh, this person's always taking care of me. I need to take care of them.
It just needs to be just cyclical. And there's, there's times, so many times that Don is so much stuff for me. And I feel like crap, I'm not doing anything. And other times I'm out, you know, I come home with all those favorite snacks.
And he's just like, Oh, thank you. Talk, talk, talk. And it's just, you know, especially if you're feeling that guilt, that's a wonderful jumping off point for talking about the dynamic. And also talking about your potential insecurities because you have to also understand, I remember once I was at a coffee shop and there was a master slave couple who had been in the lifestyle for a long time.
And I was in their dynamic. We were all just kind of friends. We all went to the same dungeon and we just, you know, we're hanging out for coffee. And I remember I got my coffee and she's like, I'm going to get your cream and sugar, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, wait, what? And he just kind of gives me like a little signal, like let her do it. And I was relatively new. And so, you know, trying to figure out what I am as a dominant, you know, and he just kind of let, and when she let, I just said, but we're not in a dynamic.
And he said, but it's what she loves to do. Yeah, it's what she loves to do. You don't have to let anybody serve you, but you have to, what that really shared with me is doing that doesn't always drive me. I like doing things for people and I like being of service in many ways.
And I like, you know, making dinners for people and doing things. But I'm not into that level of service where it is a need, where it is a. That's a part of who they are as a person. Yeah.
And I had to understand that there's no reason for me to have guilt. This person is wired like that. This is what they love to do. I, as long as I know for me, what I need to do is know that I respect that person and that I that I show gratitude when gratitude is appropriate and that I give like little, you know, validations and things like that.
And that I also take the time to understand what that submissive needs. I take time to understand what their need is in service. And ultimately, then I have to ask myself, is that the type of service that I desire and is, and am I going to be the right dominant for this submissive? Because that may be the case that somebody wants a lot of stuff or they want, you know, that I'm not into and it's hard when you want to be the dominant.
Yeah. I realize that I'm not everybody's dominant. So it's a fantastic topic and I did struggle a lot with it. And and over time I really did build the confidence to understand that I do deserve service in certain things.
There's certain things that I don't feel comfortable getting service, but especially when it's my bigger picture, like if it has to do with the show, because that's in service, that's my service to other people. The show is my service. That's my higher calling. That's not just the book ends with me worship my cock.
That's your service to me, which is a type of service. And some people boringly stop there and they think that's their dominance. But I have a bigger picture. So if somebody's not interested in helping serve my bigger picture, then I'm not going to be interested in giving my energy to be that person's dominant in a relationship, it plays seem fine.
You leave, go home. I'll spank your ass, go home. But as far as like something that's 24 seven, then you're going to be in service to my higher calling if I'm going to invest in you as a dominant. I just need to be called a good girl.
So I can get a special thought for whenever in coffee. That is wonderful. And you have found that. That's the revving up sound for the segment.
Oh, baby. Is that the first light or the one? That's that's the guy behind you telling you to speed up. What I just was read.
Christ, dude. Go around. The fuck man, I mean, the Fast Lane, I'm revving up for a segment. And you're beeping.
What? I did I mention that I have a certain significant amount of hateful road rage. I believe you have mentioned that, yes. Yeah, I'm not exactly.
I mean, I calmed down a lot. I'm not OK. I did flip someone off the other day. That was literally up my ass and then had the audacity to fucking honk at me while we were stopped and so I'm like fuck motherfucker.
So, but I've gotten better. I have not committed any heinous acts of murder or mayhem. And it is not good. Road rage is not good because people have guns and they're fucking, where you just wanna yell at people fuck you motherfucker.
I got the fuck out. They're like fuck you and then they shoot. And I'm like that's an escalation that we should all probably avoid. Little safety tip.
Yeah. So thank you, sir. Please go around and drive faster into this segment a minute and a half fucking later. How you doing Enigma?
I'm doing all right. I just moved into a new apartment with my lovely partner. And so we are slowly but surely getting settled into the new place. So you have more space then?
We have more space. I actually have a living room now and not just. We got a nice two bedroom. So we can kind of spread out.
It's like she can have her own space and I have my own space and then we can invade each other's spaces when we desire it. It's a pretty good time. That is good. And you have not had any cap off the toothpaste battles yet?
No, cause we also found a place that has two bathrooms. So we are able to kind of literally have like our own spaces and we've laughed about it because I, if you've seen any of my pictures, you see a lot of blood paths in like just girls covered in blood and bath tubs. Sure, sure. And so she was just like, yes, you can fuck up your bathroom.
And then my bathroom can stay clean and not covered in blood and like that makes sense. You know, I think she's being petty but you know, you know, you make it work. Just like you make it work. That's a happy couple, you know, path girl and don't necessarily doing the same kind of stuff.
And you know, you kids that cohabitate, you know, you gotta make it work. No blood in the bathroom. Okay, how many? Fine.
Jesus Christ. So have you guys had the ability to spend some playtime christening the new place? No, we are planning on it though. It's just we've both been very busy and moving is very draining.
And so we haven't had a whole lot of time to really focus on that sort of thing, but it is a desire. It is a, we are, we do want to christen basically every room in the apartment that we can. So, and there's even like an outside patio thing that we wanna play in. So yeah, there are definitely plans that we'll- Can you like put up a tarp or something?
It's actually pretty secluded. It's just a matter of being quiet more than sound or more than a line of sight. Right, right, right. Okay.
All right, well, I mean, you got plans. You got plans, you have access. You guys have now made the plunge. You now live together.
And we should be hearing shenanigans shortly, which is good. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe you guys could do a little role playing and, you know, like pretend you're other people for each other. Pretend to be, oh, is this a- clever segue, is this a- It's not a good one.
It's not a good one. Because we do have a post that actually we both found pretty interesting. And also potentially an edge play, which you wouldn't think it was. But the more I thought about it, I'm like, I'm glad that these people reached out for some experience.
This was a Reddit that they reached out to the general Kinky community for. And the title was, how to simulate having sex with multiple subs without actually others entering the relationship. And I was like, huh, I first saw that. I was like, hmm, this should be interesting.
Actually, her and her husband strictly monogamous in their relationship. However, lately, he has mentioned, which means that he's been building this his entire life, that he would like to experience sex with multiple women as a fantasy, but would never actually do it as they are both monogamous. They have agreed to a monogamous relationship. That's a relationship they're in.
So instead he has asked if they could replicate polysex and if she's, you know, she's into it. And she says she's all on board with it. If it would make him happy without actually having to involve other people. So she's asking for advice.
How do you navigate this? They're both fairly new to the Kinky community. And they would ask some people with more experience about this, which I think is a great idea because I'll let you go first. But the first thing I'll say is this is a wonderful, healthy idea in a monogamous relationship that can also have extremely negative devastating effects.
Yeah, absolutely. So I'll let you go ahead and jump in. Yeah. So I mean, my first two initial thoughts are there's one, the more expensive option where you hire professionals and you can bring them in.
And that way it's more of a transactional thing as opposed to trying to find, sure, trying to like jump into like non monogamy or poly or anything like that. But I think the other option and one that actually would like sounds pretty hot to me is blindfold and role play where like he gets blindfolded. He gets found if he wants to. He sounds maybe a little switchy, but just in some way making it a little easier.
And then you, the person who is pretending to be the multiple women, like maybe you have play with different voices. And so you come in and you're like one person and you play with him for a little bit. And then you go, then you quote unquote go away and come back as a different person. You can wear gloves, you can do voices.
I think it would be fun to maybe play with dynamics. Like if you're somebody who's maybe a little switchy, maybe one of the person, one of the people is a little bit more dominant aggressive with how they're playing with the person. But I think you could make a night of it. Maybe there's a timer so that like there's a little bit of anticipation about who the next person is going to be and that sort of thing.
But I definitely think it is something that could be a really fun, big, really nice. I think that's going to be the important part is to go into it with a perspective of you're there to have fun, you're there to experiment. It may not work exactly the way you want it to at first, but it should be a fun experiment, not like not a job, not like you're not like you're trying to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys have to both kind of at some point, you're doing it to make your partner happy. And that's great. That's great that you do that. But you also kind of have to be a little bit into it because otherwise people have tried these things and it doesn't work if you're not at least a little into it because it is kind of like it's a role play where you're going to take on another character and however, like you had great ideas with the blindfold and stuff like that, or you can have a night like pretend you're at a club, but it's your apartment.
And so you go in different rooms and then you go in one room and you play with this person and then you change the wig or you leave the room and then go to the other room and then your partner goes to the room and then you've changed costumes and you're another person. I mean, there's a million different ways that you can be creative and make this work. You can do your own glory hole and you can put a picture of another woman, like get a picture or an AI picture offline and be like, oh, today in the glory hole is this person. And then he sticks his dick through the hole.
You can hang up a bed sheet or whatever and then he pretend that it's this other person sucking him off or whatever and it's actually, it's you, but you're playing that it's a different person. You can try different things like if you know that you usually give a blowjob this way or you give a hand job or you make these types of noises normally when you have sex, then try imagining other voices or other techniques. And there's obviously a million ways that you could create that illusion, either with blindfold or with voices or with wigs and costumes, however far you want to go with it. And I mean, we could probably sit here for hours and come up with different ways to do it, you know, but once the ball is rolling, especially if you're having fun, I think you'll start to kind of come up with your own ideas.
Oh, yeah, sure. And it does become just like any role play becomes a lot of fun. My suggestion as, you know, the great actor that I am and of course Enigma being also the great actor that we were both world renowned, you know, actors, the more work you put into that character, like if you say, okay, I'm going to create this, this, you know, character Jessica, write a little bit, you know, spend a little bit of time and write a little bit of a history for that character, create a character, create a life for that character. Maybe she comes from a different place, a different culture, you know, that, you know, she has different attitudes, she was raised in a different way.
The more that you can create that character in your head, when it's time to play that different character, you follow that, what would that person do if they were raised here instead of here or in this financial, you know, status or you know what I'm saying, Enigma, like enacting what they call it, doing the work, you know, and you're creating that character in that character. And that actually makes it really interesting. It's something, you know, because then it can become your alter ego and that becomes fun for you because you get to be somebody that you've never been, being, you've never been, it's never something you've never been, and it becomes that alter ego and we do that in cosplay with role plays and, you know, becoming superheroes or, you know, any number of these things can be a lot of fun. So the, go ahead, go ahead.
Yeah, like even in Keaton stuff, like I know there's like a different tone that people pull on when they're being daddy, when they're being like the dominant. I think the joke is like they put on the daddy voice, like your little nose that they're in trouble. Like, yeah, I think, I absolutely like the person who's wanting to be these multiple people, like this is definitely going to take some practice either with him or upon your own and just like, I like you're saying like dress up a certain way before you come in there. I thought that I was, I thought that popped up when you were talking, I was like, maybe you can set up like a fake text message, like maybe a voice, Google voice, even download like a free phone number and just use that for this.
And that phone number is Jessica is Francine is whoever the other woman is going to be. And then that way you can kind of play, you can role play and be like, okay, what would like if you're being like somebody from, I don't know, UK or something, like you're coming, you're being somebody from a different background, text using text, you have a little bit more leeway on, you know, you have a little bit more time to like think about like how you're going to talk about stuff. So yeah, I think I think it feels like the anticipation and stuff like that for sure for that place scene. Oh, tonight.
So, and then it's like, you can even do the thing like, hey, I'm going out with Jessica tonight, you know, and it's like, hey, but you know, here, and you can even, you know, you can even go the full, like I would suggest, poly practice, where you do the things you would do in a real poly relationship, where it's not sneaky and it's not cheating, because you're going to role play poly and poly is about negotiation and understanding that there are boundaries and benchmarks. And the reason those things are there lead into where this is not going to be an edge play for you, where is it you are doing this ethically with each other, even though the actual person that you're going to be playing with is your monogamous partner, you should still treat it as though you're doing it ethically, because once you start pretending like this is cheating and, you know, stuff like that, now you get into a little more mind fucking on both on both situations because you don't know exactly how you're going to respond to this. Right now, it's fun. It's like, oh, he wants to pretend I'm somebody else.
And then all of a sudden you get in there and you see all of a sudden how turned on he is when you're not you anymore. And that can lead to you going, oh, so I'm not good enough. You know, oh, you know, it can lead to all of that insecurity. Right.
That, oh, he only wants to fuck me because now I'm somebody else. He's bored with, you know, those are things that that happen in real poly to. Oh, for sure. You know, and so the reason you talk about things first and you set up those benchmarks and say, Hey, I am with you.
This is something that we're doing for fun. I have committed to you. I am in this monogamous relationship. The both parties have an obligation.
The guy should have an obligation to remind the partner that they are in a relationship with them and they are special and I love them. And this is just the fantasy role play because how into it, you know what I'm saying? Like if you get really into it, it can trigger all those same buttons of jealousy as you could in a real poly relationship. Oh, yeah, for sure.
Like I, like when, when my, when Dee started actually having like getting into the relationship with her other partner, like I had those thoughts where it's like, oh, you're, you're going off with another guy. And what if what if this guy replaces me? What if he's better than you would have blah, blah, blah, blah. And she and I have talked about those voices in my head before being, you know, that there were things that like came from previous partners and previous negative encounters.
And so like it's before you get into this, you want to have lots of conversations. And this is also going to be something where the aftercare is going to be just as important as the actual scene where it's like, if, if the husband sees this or hears this, like you're going to need to do some work and being like as soon as you're done, as soon as the costume is off, as soon as the scene is over, whatever you want to, wherever the benchmark is, you want to jump into and be like, and it's going to be a lot of reassuring, especially the first few times before y'all get in before y'all get into a group. If you do get into a group. Yeah.
I mean, I had to deal with. I mean, I'm older. Yeah. So I've had time to kind of deal with a lot of my like, oh, you know, why does she want to fantasize about me being professor, snaper, you know, whatever.
Now I don't give a shit, dude. You give me a picture of a fucking dude. I'll paste it to my fucking face while I fuck you. I don't care.
I don't even care anymore. You know, I know it's not real. I know I'm the one fucking you. So but you do have to kind of get into that headspace where you understand this is fantasy and our nature just because you have made a commitment to somebody and said, Hey, I am, I am not going to be with anyone else physically because I value what you offer me in a relationship and believe we can continue that long term.
That doesn't shut off the nature. And the nature is especially for guys, I want to fucking every pretty thing that I see. That is never going to change. It doesn't matter if you're the most beautiful one woman in the world.
There's a part of my brain that wants to fuck everybody, everybody that I'm attractive to. Now it should say something to your ego that I have made you a special priority in my life and especially if it's monogamous and I'm actually not going to be with other people, it doesn't mean that that's not there. And that's something you have to kind of deal with both sides of the couple, have to kind of deal with the back and you know, we've been talking about this as it's written in the post, but I go right back. Is he willing to do the same thing for you?
Is he going to pretend to be different guys? Is he go if that's something that all of a sudden you go, Hey, I want to try this too. You know, let's let's let's do this. I want to set up the I want you to set up another phone number or email like an enigma's idea and and start communicating with me as some other guy, you know, is he willing to do that for you?
And if he's not, then, oh, that seems kind of dick move. It seems like, you know, he's not going to deal with his insecurities if you have to deal with your insecurities. Does that make sense? It does make sense.
And I think yeah, like if this goes well on the side of it that she's asking about, then yeah, like I think maybe he should give it a try, especially with something that she she has been wanting is maybe this brings up other fantasies and that could be something like the positive side of this is that this goes really well and this ends up being kind of a way to open the door to maybe not nominoc me, but like being them being able to like introduce more creative things, their sex life, more creative things to their intimate life. And in that you're going to find like she might she might find that she likes being more dominant or she likes being more submissive and just like they they want to play more in those worlds. And so maybe these role plays turn into actual dynamics, but it's definitely something that is going to take time. It's going to the first time is going to be awkward as fuck just because y'all have never done that before and you've never maybe not never acted or you've never played a role play before and so it's going to be weird.
But definitely definitely give it a couple of tries because you're going to find your groove and you're going to find things that work. And yeah, another thing for the phone thing is like you've been playing with it, like you've been playing decent AI or you can be like if there's celebrities that he's into, like you can find pictures of celebrities and those are the pictures you send over the text messages. But yeah, it's getting creative trying different things where things stick and communicating along the way. I think it could be fun, a lot of fun.
I've had incredible moments of role play with partners and on both ways where they pretended to be different and usually it's me and usually it's me and it reminds me there's a song by Berlin there was a band from the 80s called Berlin and they had a song called Sex and it was and the whole song was I'm a virgin I'm a slide I'm a one-night stand and then it was when we make love together and every time he was the man. So it was I'm a virgin I'm a man I'm a this I'm a man we make love together. It's a great fucking song and Terry Nunn is an amazing, amazing performer. But it really showed and what the rumor was is that she was really into the role play.
The song was written because she was really into the role play and doing all the things and he always kind of played the man. So when she would say that and he'd come back I'm a man I'm a man. Just me and maybe crack up to think about it. But have fun with it.
I mean just really ultimately you're understanding that this is something that you're doing to enhance your relationship and it should be fun and if it's not fun then make adjustments and do something else. Fun topic though. Ultimately a fun topic. Yeah I think it's fun and if they hear this or if they get into it I hope it works out and you know maybe they can share on Reddit and we can see an update in a few months.
Looking forward to it. Good segment Enigma. Yes good talk to you. Good talk to you.
Good talk to you. And as Captain Labia flies off into the sunset so does this show 420. Wonderful 420. Thank you for joining us.
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