428_Don't kink angry

Live from a storage unit and a windy North Carolina. It's perverted rocket. It's still raining there. No, it's sunny.

It's just mud. Well, no, actually it's dry not pretty much, but we go through torrential rain for day and then sun torrential rain for day and sun. You ever go out and play in the mud? When's the last time you played in the mud?

When I was like a little kid. Okay, I'm the same. There are definitely people who are like, let's go get muddy and dirty. No, no.

And I'm not one of them. I'm not either. No, if I'm doing that, it's because I'm doing yard work. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind getting your back into something and doing some stuff.

And surely if you're in the throes of magical passion, there's going to be a little bit of dirtiness. I don't like fluids though. I still don't like sweat and cum and none of those things. But I understand that that happens.

And fortunately, if there's a shower nearby, you can handle that. There you go. Or just fucking the rain. It's just done.

Oh, it's so... Have you ever fucked in the rain? Oh, yeah. A couple of times.

Yes. I was just... Really? Like downpour downpour?

Not downpour downpour, but like lightly raining. Yeah. Was it on a blanket or did they just bend you over something? No.

My last house, I had like a three-tiered deck and a face to the woods. So the way I was invaded our neighbors couldn't have seen us, but yeah, it was nice. It would bend up against the rail. It was so nice.

So the rain was hitting you. Yeah. Nice. And all the right places.

And then it's like snow white. There was like deer and squirrels and shit like doing little hoof pumps. You're like, oh, get it. Go girl.

Get it. Then they sang like little songs and then they started fucking and then it got kind of weird because now you're in like group sex with fucking woodland creatures and stuff like that. Yeah, so woodland orgy and stuff. Yeah, all of a sudden and then all of a sudden some little bear screams out blood orgy and they start killing each other.

Wait, that was a South Park. That's what I say. Woodland, greater Christmas. Hail Satan.

Well, that sounds like fun. We should start a show. The following show is for mature audiences only. Listener discretion is advised.

And if you don't like it, please go fuck yourself. One, two, three, four. Do you feel your sex life is quite lame? Scared that your desires might be strange.

Come and join the Kinky World of Play. The Fanny Lock. Oh, that's me. Hello and welcome to Bird of Firecast, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kinky Lifestyle Sex and human mind.

We're recording on Zen Castaway. We're going to get into what I'm all hot and bothered. I'm half girl. I am Count Boogie.

And is that like a fever or you're having soup? No, my AC is out again. Oh, yeah. Oh, it gets even better.

Oh, no. Because they were working on My Heater, the home warranty company that are my wonderful realtor. Oh, no. It gets a home warranty.

And yeah, so they worked on part of My Heater because it was cold back in May. And they got that working. And then a couple of days later, when I started to warm up, we turned on the AC. And I noticed, hey, the AC is not working.

And supposedly the person talked to my highly functioning, out to six son. And told him, yeah, I think it might be a problem. Yeah, it's 10 days later. So guess what Pat, you're on Donnes did this weekend.

You... Go ahead. No, I was going to say I was going to try to turn this into something wonderful and sexual that I don't think that's where we're going with the story. Now, we speak to all our eBay profits and $750 into a portable AC unit, which is now semi-cooling our house.

But because I got a close door for the podcast, I'm sitting here with the fans. Oh, my God. You are a fighter for the show. That's what this comes down to.

Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, perverted podcast listeners, if you are new, just know that we are in the trenches for you. We are... Pathrel right now is dealing with moistened underboob for you.

Oh. Moistened underboob and probably... If it's your cake, it's wonderful. Sweaty labia, little sweaty labia.

No, not sweaty labia. Give it about another half an hour because I'm sitting in the sun of the sun. I'm sitting in the sun of my office. I'll be like, yeah, that's sweaty labia.

Oh, yeah, sweaty labia. That's sweaty labia. That's what we get here on perverted podcast. Well, besides the torment of hell that you are going in hovering around a portable air conditioner unit, which I remember those days.

Now I have no air conditioner, so now my balls are sweaty all the time. But it's kind of fun because I'm in storage and then I hang up a blanket sheet in the door and I cut little wind things in the bottom where you can't begin. And so, like, I can stand until it gets too hot and then I got to go to the goddamn library. It's homeless issues.

But it's so nice to just be able to take off all my clothes in storage and be naked and stand with my nuts to the fan. And just know that if some idiot says, what's in here? Because people do that. Some people do that.

They just go into your storage and you have to... Don't you know who are you neighbor? Yeah. And so they're going to see me there like literally holding my nuts up like a fucking...

Like I'm holding a sack of oranges or something from the sides. Like I'm about to dump them out, but they're detached. You know, they're not going to go. And that would be amazing.

I'd be like, you looked. You are not supposed to be here. Yeah. So if you see...

I'm supposed to knock. If you are seeing my upside down hanging 57 year old man nut sack, then... It's on you motherfucker. It's on you.

I'm trying to stay cool. That's how we started show by the way. If you're wondering, we really just purge it all out. Did you have any play this week?

Are you kidding me? You think we're going to get hot and frisky when we just get hot? No. The sex has died in our house last ten days.

Can't you just move the air conditioner? No, because the only place it'll hook up to is got a water drain. And plus also the boys who are here are boys who are over here on the weekend. And Donnes' son's going to be here till tomorrow.

So maybe, maybe tomorrow we can go out and out living and possibly once they go out in that living room. Possibly. You know your car AC works though, right? Yeah.

So you could just go drive somewhere and suck them off or have them finger you? I know that's romantic. I sound so romantic. I'm like, just get it done.

You know, this is when you're dealing with families and kids and balancing and things like that. Sometimes you have to just say, we're going to family meeting in the bathroom. And that's what it is. Sorry family meeting in the bathroom.

Don't knock. Stay away. And if they're older, they'll understand. They're in their fucking.

So you know, stuff somewhere. There's plenty of times we've done stuff like that, but it's just with the fact that everything is so annoyed and frustrated with everything. It's just like, ah, you gotta hand jobs and hand jobs and blow jobs and oral. That's for a car.

Hand jobs and blurrows and oral. Oh my, hand jobs and blurrows. When you don't have an AC, that's your air conditioning. Because I mean, what does it cost?

It costs about a gallon. If you idle an average car, it's about a gallon of gas to idle for an hour. So literally, it's like a little quickie motel. So even if you just pull over like a half hour, think about that financially.

Let's just put the numbers to this for our pervert podcast listeners. If you pull over and you run the air conditioner, depending on how much gasoline or petrol is wherever you are in the world, you're looking at about a half hour. So like for us, like in California, the average is like $430 a gallon, $4.30 a gallon. So literally, it's two bucks a fuck.

To have an air conditioner. Yeah, $2 a dollar, a $2 air condition, moderate cramped environment. Think about that. But I think about that money, you know, but that's the way to do it.

You can run that AC. I mean, it's probably a little more because the AC is running full blast. But still, you know, two bucks, two buck a fuck. Two buck a fuck.

Have two buck a fuck. I went to a munch. Yes, you were talking a little bit off here, but I didn't get to tell me all the details. You know what was the best about this munch?

Because I'm poor. So I really do avoid munch because they're always at restaurants or bars and stuff like that. And I don't eat in restaurants because of my eating thing or whatever. And I'm poor and I don't want to spend money on food.

So I just want to go and hang out and talk to people for a little bit. So they're always at restaurants and bars and stuff. And I don't drink. I've been cleaning sober almost 13 years now.

And you know, I don't eat. So I feel bad. Like, do I just give the waitress my bucks and say, I'm not going to fucking eat. So here's a tip.

Or what, you know, but this munch was at, and I don't know around the world, I know this place is known. I had a munch at Ikea, the giant furniture store from Sweden. Okay. A munch at Ikea.

And the one that I'm at in Burbank where I live is like the largest Ikea in North America. Like it's huge. And it has, you know, it's a giant for those of you who are in places that don't have an Ikea. It is a massive, massive furniture store.

And it's like a maze. It's like you literally can go for exercise. And on hot days people go because it's cool and you just literally walk. They have mazes and they trap you and it's like an escape room, like a buy money escape room in Ikea.

But they also sell food. They have a giant kitchen. And then they have things like Swedish meatballs because it's a Swedish place and little things and things. And so you can literally people spend the whole day there.

And then there's of course pervertibles there and crepe spatulas and things are really cheap that you can get that you can use. But the food court area because this place is so massive is massive. So you can fit like 500 people in this food court. So they literally just took a section.

I don't know if they got permission or they just do it. And it's someone that I've known in the lifestyle for a long time. And she puts it on there every now and again. And it was awesome because I don't feel obligated to eat.

I can just go socialize. And it was just hilarious to be like, okay, we're at Ikea. We're in a furniture store having a kinky munch. And then some people are like, hey, let's go for a walk.

And then they go get lost and look at furniture and stuff like that. And it was just fun because there was somebody there that I sat with and she a long time ago, I don't want to say her name because I don't remember if she changed her name or if that was the original name. But she was actually on the show and I actually did Pussy Cookies on her. Oh, okay.

I remember a couple times you did Pussy Cookies. And so yeah, we've done Pussy Cookies a couple times. So this was somebody who was on the show a long time ago. I've known, you know, so obviously I've known her for at least five, six years.

That's awesome. And so she was still really, what made me happy is that she still found that moment to be a fun addition to her life. That it was still fun. That's awesome.

And she brought a new guy with her that was a friend of hers. And so it was good to be able to do like the whole, you know, that whole speech that the old timers give the newcomers that, you know, you can do be whoever you want. And you don't have to listen to people and nobody gets to tell you who you're going to be in your kinks and go, you know, like all the cool stuff to break down all the stereotypes and, you know, be yourself. It doesn't matter whether you want to be a top or a bottom or you want to take things up the ass or give things up the, you know, like this is your thing and you work that out with your partners.

So it's always fun to like be excited with the newbies because I remember how important it was to me when, you know, I came in and then I had Ms. D gravel tits, you know, and she was there for me and all the people were there and there excitement. So it was a lot of fun to just hang out and be in that early foundation kind of stuff. And then of course talk to somebody who I put a dildo inside of on the show.

For those of you that don't know what pussy cookies are, my invention, by the way, completely my invention has a song and everything. You basically take cookie dough, you roll it up in plastic wrap in the shit, like a log of it, and then you roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, like five, seven times. And then you put that in condoms and now you have a dildo, do you GH? And then you fuck somebody's vagina with it, and then you pull it out, pull off the condoms, unwrap the dough so obviously it doesn't touch anything.

But then you bake it and make pussy cookies and then feed those to somebody else. And we have had many perverted podcast listeners over the years send in pictures of them making pussy cookies with their partners or them getting the pussy cookies made on them. And it has been a fun, fun thing to do. And now I miss making pussy cookies.

We'll hopefully be able to make pussy cookies again soon. Very soon. Very soon. Because I'm getting out now.

I'm getting out. I look hot. Didn't you say you were going to another event too soon? Yeah, I'm probably going to, I'm just going to more munchies and things and forcing myself to go to more stuff and get out and plus I'm meeting more people and I'm out walking more and doing a lot of stuff.

And you know, now I'm high except for the fact that I look like a testicle with my shirt off. Other than that, I'm hot. That's the downside. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's the downside. And I looked it up though. Like if I want to not look like a human testicle, I can do it for like probably anywhere from 30 to 50 grand. Like nothing.

Just do it. Well, no, because actually I know somebody who went through very extreme law, weight loss and she actually had what they call a mommy makeover and it was not that expensive and she looks amazing. Yeah, but see, I have stomach arms inside of my legs, my neck. Yeah, I would.

She had a boot lift. Yeah, no, she had a boot lift, a tummy tuck and I think she had a little bit of liposuction here and there. But yeah, I actually saw somebody who had the leg procedure done and they do it with just, they do it by liposuction. I was like, I was expecting these huge, big scars and I'm like, oh my shit.

No, they suck fat out of your legs. Yeah, I have. I what? And then injected in other parts?

No, well, no, I mean, this person just had it done and they tightened up the skin somehow, but it's just like, because anytime you see somebody who, you know, that's the downside of extreme weight losses. Yeah, you get rid of all that. If you're older, if you're younger, I used to respond, like I could lose 60, 80 pounds and just respond and my skin would be like, college and not a problem. Fuck you.

Let's go. Fuck. Yeah. But now it's like, Oh, no, no, you're a testicle.

You're wearing a shirt in bed and shorts and I'm just going to poke my dick out through the dick hole and you know what you are what your alligator balls just dragging on the floor of the body. That's that's exactly what I've become. I don't care if it's $4,000 or $20 or $35. I am not going to get my skin removed.

So I would much rather work on something like having a home to live in before I start, before I start focusing on not being a testicle and I'll just have to find people that like the feeling of having a hang glider wrap around them. I don't know. Flying squirrel. Flying squirrel.

I'm a human pterodactyl. That's that's what I am. Yeah. Yeah.

And then just wrap around. It's helpful if a plane's crashing. We'll just jump out of the window. Hold on to my nut sack.

We're going to land. And land safely, safely land. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, pterodactyl. And can I fuck you as a compensation for saving my life?

What are you talking about? I came three times while we were floating to the ground. Oh, you might not be the asshole, baby. Don't sweat it.

We're going to tweak your brain and balls and you won't regret it. Talking about yourself that you're asking all about already. So here is some magic. Yes.

Here's some magic. And once again, I try to be kind of open. I try to be flexible, pack girl. That not everything is the kiss of death or the thing of that.

But sometimes it is. But sometimes it's not. So this is one of those maybes that we're just going to have to talk about. And it doesn't start off good, but it's, you know, but it's, you know, alcohol.

What are you going to do? My dummy girlfriend got legit scary. Is the title of this? I'm a trans man and a sub in a long term relationship with a dominant cis woman.

Tonight she got drunk. And then we started arguing about some things. She got really angry and threatened to do something to me that I have been very clear I am not into. I so basically she's stated the limit and now the drunk dominance.

I fucking do that. That's exactly what I'm going to do to you. I feel pretty violated by being threatened like that, especially while she was drunk drunk and angry. I feel like I need to break things off with her, but I'm really sad to lose her.

We've been together over a year and so much of that time has been really wonderful. I feel pretty devastated right now. It's a hard thing. It is.

That's a, you know, but once again, let's note number one. Don't play with the bitch when she's drunk. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good starting point. But, you know, let's see where we go with this. So you go ahead and start. When you sent this to me, I was like, Hey, boogie, doesn't this sound familiar when I had a drunk dominant that wanted to play?

And I basically was like, but I could change him. Yeah. No, no, no, it is better off being alone and safe than with her. And possibly in danger.

And it took me a long time to understand that when you're like, he's a great guy or she's a great girl, but that's a person for you. I'm sure that this past year was an awesome time and that's a full stop sentence. You build a relationship with somebody. You had kinky times with them and that's a very daunting experience.

Great. You made memories with this person and probably even might be even falling in love with this person or develop a strong feeling to that. And it's okay to mourn that loss, but at the same time, you can't let the fear of that loss stop you from what's doing what's right. And just because something hurts us means the wrong thing.

In a grand scheme of things, a year is not a long time, but you know, she's playing drunk. Now, if you were consented, if you got to discuss it. They were playing drunk. Well, she got drunk and they started arguing.

Yeah, I mean, he wasn't drunk. She was. But it's I can understand like, let's say like, Hey, I'm gonna have a couple drinks. You okay with that?

Okay, cool. And then they get into an argument, blah, blah, blah, blah, and they get into the scene. If this person had a lot of remorse when they sobered up and it was a one time issue and they're like, Oh my God, I can't blame that. I'm so sorry.

You should call it safer. You know, true, true remorse. Then it would have been like, All right, let's take a step back. See what happens.

Let's not like drunkness. Not all the things you would normally think about talking to them and they sobered up. Okay, but I something about this is just if you're getting a sense, you need to break this off. You need to get the sense to break this off.

It's just I really tried to be on her side because it's been a year, but it's just basically like if this is coming out now, more is going to come out later. That could be true. I mean, there's there's a lot of dynamics. A lot of variables.

Yeah, should I say of this? And I think you hit on a lot of stuff that I was going to hit on, which like, you know, your gut instinct is a good instinct to take. Not always. I've had my gut instinct.

Yeah, I'll fuck me over it. Pretty pretty nicely. But in a sense, when you have that feeling of I don't feel safe, this seems out of control. That's a real thing.

And you need to listen to it. And obviously he listened to it because he made comments about it and asked for advice, which I also think is a really good thing to do. Yes. For me, I'm a little, you know, I was raised with drunks.

I've been around drunks. I'm a drunk. So I understand the changes that occur under the influence of alcoholism and alcohol. And that's no excuse.

That is absolutely no excuse damage you do as a drunk person. You are 100% responsible for it because it's you. Doesn't matter if you're drunk. Hi, whatever.

You're still responsible. That being said, we know that people are different when they are under the influence. And like you said, if this was something where there are, you could definitely see there was reasons building up to this type of anger and you know that things were going bad in their life and they didn't know how to manifest it. And then all of a sudden they've blurred it out and said something stupid and mean because they were angry.

Maybe that's something to work on. If they came out of it, like you said, apologetic and said that was inappropriate. I shouldn't have said that. You know, that obviously made you feel very bad and it should have made you feel bad.

Let's work on this. Let's take a step back. Obviously, we're not going to ever play drunk. You know, if there was work that was going to go forward and an acknowledgement of that.

That's really the only time that I might say, all right, you know, we do fuck up. We do have bad days. We do have times where we're not in control of ourselves, whether we're sober or drunk. There's times where I've said things that were inappropriate or wrong or hurtful and I had to own those things and then make changes from those things or that person left the relationship.

I haven't had that too many times. But because usually I apologize and get to work. And so, but in this case, I don't know. It could be also something that's deeper, you know, that this person has anger issues and they've just been playing nice up until a year.

And now all of a sudden they don't have the energy to be as nice anymore. Because some people do that. I'm on my best behavior. I'm on my best behavior.

I'm on my best behavior. And then all of a sudden that takes a lot of energy to hide, to kind of hide that anger when you have anger issues. And so if all of a sudden this is now a sign of that because it's coming out when they're drunk and then how often do they get drunk? Like there's so many things here.

In general, if the relationship was great and most of the time they're very attentive and validating and it really is a complete change of character for that person. Maybe. Maybe. But I looked at the responses to this post and there's one person who summed it up perfectly and they said, okay, take the kink out of this and then let's start the question again.

My boyfriend and girlfriend got drunk and angry and threatened to do something to me that I told them I didn't want them to do. I mean, most people were like, fuck that. I'm done. You know what I mean?

Or maybe like you said, they fucked up one time. I'm sorry. Let's show remorse. Let's move on.

But it's just, there's something about, and maybe it's because I'm so adamant about not drinking and kinking, but it's just, you know, especially the fact that like I've had like my ex-husband would be like, he'd make a passive aggressive joke and he'd be like, oh, you're a fat whore. Oh, just kidding. But it's something about like, you know, just something along the line to that. Like, there's been times I docked in Donnes when I played with them.

You know, they're, I'll be saying like, oh, no, we're tonight. And then like, I'll start like writing on them or I'll start something. I'll start poking at them and then like, I gotta bring out that whip. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Right. Right. There's a way of doing it as a joke during a scene where there's, you know, understanding of like, you know, hey, you told me, I told you no anal and she's gonna go, well, guess what? I guess you're getting able tonight.

Ha ha ha. And he'll be like, no, I told you no. You could do it as a joke and you could do it as drunk and angry. Yeah, yeah, it really, I mean, there's because obviously they know, and here's the thing that I'll say, and this goes down to anger issues and which of course we all know that I have lots of.

No, no, no, no. It's true. I'm a pretty angry, hateful person and I try to keep it out of my relationships. But I'm, I have angry issues and we all know when we're angry, then that's obviously we're hurt.

We're scared. We have lost our control in this whatever situation we're in. And so then we go to hurt the other person because we're hurt. And that's usually what happens when angry.

And when somebody knows what your weak points are and they're angry and now they're going to expose your weaknesses in front of you. And it doesn't even matter if this is about a type of play or whatever. People do this type of shit in relationships all the time. And then they throw that thing in your face that they know hurts you.

That happens in relationships all the time. And it's the same bad sign of uncontrolled anger. And it's the sign that when the chips are down that somebody is willing to hurt you in a way in using whatever means they can to break you down and hurt you. I think that's kind of the thing that's the most negative in this.

Because it wasn't just like something like they got angry and fuck you, you asshole. This was a specific thing that they knew. You didn't, that this was what was going to hurt you by talking about this to make you afraid to take power back. And I would have hoped that the bottom would have at least called a safe word base.

You go, whoa, whoa, this is not what we can send it to. And it may have been that bottom may have been afraid to use that safe word or was just such a shock like, oh my God, I can't believe she said that. Well, once again, there's no, we have no indication tonight. It doesn't say they were playing.

It just says they, you know, tonight she got drunk and we started arguing about some things. She didn't say she was playing. I wouldn't play. I don't play with drunk.

If somebody was drunk and angry, to me, that's a zero. That's like literally that's the end of the, I had to end my own scene because I got angry at you during an interrogation scene and have never done interrogation since because obviously I can't control my anger when I'm challenged that way in an interrogation scene. Because I did something that was against her limits and I had to do a lot of changing over that. But as a bottom or a top, you shouldn't play with anybody that's angry.

That should be an automatic end of the scene. Yeah. And oh, I got angry. Okay.

Well, we're going to go ahead and stop and sober the fuck up and let's talk about it. But that because that's just a recipe for abuse about. Yeah. Yeah.

Abuse getting hurt because I mean, you know, any type of those, you know, strong emotions doesn't matter if it's during a scene or if it's anger. You're still releasing the same endorphins. I mean, how many times does somebody cut you off and traffic and get that son's like, oh my God, what the fuck? And then you settle back down.

There's been times I've done some stupid ass things just based on the sheer like, oh, fuck no, just anger. And then like five minutes later, I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah. That was a complete overreaction to this.

Yeah. And even with my son with his autism, I mean, just take a big kick out of it. There's been times I'm just like, Uber like not a good mom. And then like five minutes later, I realize, fuck, I'm doing it.

I have to sit down and say, I apologize. I'm sorry. That is not the way to react to things. So, you know, I just, I mean, not saying they're playing with their plans.

I mean, not saying they're playing, but it's just I understand he's reluctant to like go this relationship because it may be a good relationship except for this one slip up. But just because it's a pretty big flag though. Yeah. Yeah.

Ultimately, no matter what, it's a game changer as far as flags for someone to pull out that card and do it is it's definitely a change. And if, you know, if this is just a relationship where, oh, they're nice, but now they turned into because I've ended relationships on one flag. I've ended, I've ended relationships with one cray cray experience because I, to be honest, wasn't overly invested. Yeah.

So it's like, if you're great, like if you're new level, you know, like, you had a couple of stories, you had a couple of sins in the relationship. I had a couple of sins, but so much of what we had was so invested in each other and so good that we became better people and learned and dealt with and talked through and spent the time that it took because it was worth it. But if it's just somebody that's kind of like, yeah, they're nice and we have a good time. And then they do something like that.

I'm just like, yeah, I don't think I don't think I want to sit around and see if this is going to get worse. Just not because there's not enough people in the world go and maybe they could have maybe it could have been a one off and they were the sweetest, nicest person and maybe they, you know, because you never really know. I mean, we had a listener that passed away that she developed brain cancer and it started making her angry and people started rejecting her because of that. And you didn't know that it was because she had a fucking tumor.

Yeah. And so, you know, maybe there's, you know, that's the only flexibility. Like, you never know what it is until you really get in there and see, but ultimately, fuck them. Go find someone.

I started off being flexible and I'm like, I don't have time for people to fucking angry, but it's an important conversation to have outside of the bedroom and a calm environment and just basically like, look, we need to dissect what happened here and, you know, communication people, we preach it from the rooftops every day. Every damn show and it never gets old. Uncle Creepy lurks around her bedroom once serving his clutchy vanatrace, the place is where your mama said that good girls shouldn't touch. Uncle Creepy, I want you to take in a deep breath.

And exhale. Listen to the sound of the gong. Breathe the vaginal energy of the gong, Uncle Creepy. I am at full of perverted strength.

Goddamn, that thing's loud. Is that loud? That's not a sound clip? That's an actual gong?

That's my gong, dude. I got like five gongs, dude. I use them on bass to use them in massaging. Oh, yeah.

I had it sound. It's gong-like. It's a 28 inch, 11 pound gong hanging from a beanie that's probably going to kill me. That's the way we enter you.

I mean, there's more than one, but yeah, that's a good way. There's three options if you take the ears. Oh, yeah. Yeah, ears and nose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, ears and nose. But then do you count each nostril if you're going to nostril fuck? You know, that's that's a good question. We should save that for an entire show.

That is a second. How did nasally fuck? Like, have you ever done that erotically? I've had stuff go into the nose accidentally, but I stay away from that stuff because I saw a horror story about like an earlobe fuck that got super infected and she lost her whole ear.

Because dude, yeah, he fucked her ear labia. Like, you know, you got those gauges and. Oh, oh, oh, okay. Yeah.

So I stay away from anything that. So he stuck his dick through the hole like people that get their ears gaged with those things that spread out their ears. Yep. Or the low.

Yeah, it got, you know, got irritated and infected and she they lopped off the ear. Yeah. That's a pretty brutal ear fuck. You know, pervertedpodcast at gmail.com is a I want your reaction to this.

This is this is definitely I did not expect to hear. You know, that's the great thing about doing what we do and being in a community is that I every few years. I hear of some kink, some perversion, some thing that somebody tried that I literally go. Huh.

Yeah. Yeah. And you're just like, that's I that's who I had never considered that. One of the last ones which I put in a song was when somebody who was very into dick pumping actually let another guy fuck his dick.

He pumped up his dick super big with air pump vacuum pump and he used to do this. This guy was fucking really cool. And he would pump it up so big and his urethra would get so spread out. Oh, shit.

That he actually let another man fuck his pee hole. Okay. Yeah. And that was how do you respond to that other than being like good.

Good job. Good. Good. I mean, I clap.

Yeah. That's an achievement. I mean, did he like walk up to me like, Hey, I put my dick so big that somebody else fucked it or was this like a build up to Oh, by the way, we eventually got to the point. Well, no, he was he was the pumper in the club like he would come in and he would be pumped and he would let people come and put on a glove and lube up their fingers and basically try to fist his pee hole.

Like he was committed committed. Like your average sounding kit was like, No, no, bro. Give me give me five of those. Yeah.

And yeah, it was pretty cool. It was and he was an amazing dude. Like he was he was just so cool. And it was so fun to talk to really talented guy musically and stuff like that.

And this was just his kink. And yeah, like I remember my ex was like, can I please go fist his pee hole and I'm like put on a glove. I mean, I even want to do it now just to say that I've done that. I fished it appeal.

I just appeal. And then that's a whole conversation starter for for going anywhere at that point. Well, at that point, when you do things, what's fun to start at that level is to then see the wide eyes of the new people and then go, Hey, you know what? You don't ever have to do that.

Yeah. That doesn't have to be your level. It doesn't even have to be a level. It's just that's that's a thing.

If all you like is a little bit of feather tickling and maybe some light spanking or maybe a little bondage. Look, this is like it's like, yeah, it's like going to a museum. You're going to see some really great art by great masters who have done their craft for centuries. Sure.

And then you you have your little, you know, your, your, your little come up and hand you a stick figure drawing. You're just like, this is this is me. It's still absolutely amazing. Every level.

There is no real level. I mean, you can grow and that's true. Yeah. But it really, it really, because, because you don't want to make it competitive.

Once you get competitive, you lose sight of the intimacy. Yeah, it's now you're just doing it for show to prove yourself to someone else. And we've seen that disastrously not be fun for so many people when you start getting your. I mean, there's a little bit of ego in everything we do.

But when you get to that point to where you're like, yeah, that's what I have to get to that level. Otherwise, I'm not a good BDSM or, you know, you just, you really lose sight of it. But, you know, if you do want to get to a point where you can pump up your genitalia enough so where someone can fuck your urethra fucking life goals, man. You know, it's good to have that goal and more power to you.

I kind of wish I knew this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You got to come. I haven't, you got to come. You don't have to. You know, that's, you know, depends on how good the time sure.

It's probably pretty tight. If you fuck a people. I'm going to assume so. Like, so all right.

No, we can't. We can't get stuck on this because we'll be here all day. It's a great topic though. You got to find this guy, but I'm on the show because I have questions.

I have questions. Look, I think you are not the first to join me in the many questions. And he's real cool about explaining how things work. And, you know, I mean, obviously he had to work up for years to get to this point and a lot of dedication to that.

And he does also, he was a great top and he did all sorts of crazy types of play, like legendary types of play scenes, you know, putting, putting people in oil drums and then burying it with a fucking microphone through the top and that kind of stuff. Yeah, goals. Yeah. I have a huge backyard now.

A huge backyard. You could be burying people, not me. Concentually. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you know, even people you like, you know, you could do it to people you like and have it be consensual and work out. Well, I like that this is just, let's just hit the ground running with Uncle Creepy, you know, welcome to your segment. I'm back, baby.

You are, you are here and I'm so excited to have you jump on board to be more regular. Obviously, if you're a perverted podcast listener from long ago, Uncle Creepy has been a fixture on the show on and off for many years. And now that Enigma has had his, I guess, retirement of sorts, you have stepped up to be a part of the show on the more regular and I couldn't be happier. I'm here to fill his urethra.

You are here to fill Enigma's urethra of his pumped penis. Yes. I'll just settle right in. Hello, everybody.

It's Uncle Creepy here. I just want to remind you that I am a pervert and I want to enjoy my perverted journey with you. Settle and succinct, very succinct. And we're going to do that.

So you are in a new place now. You've settled in finally. So I've always said, when I lived in California, I'm never going to live on the East Coast ever. Never, not once.

And so I kind of settled and I moved to Denver, which is where I was the last time you've heard me. But now I'm in fucking the East Coast. I'm living in Raleigh in the great state of North Carolina. And if there is ever a thing called culture shock, the South would be it.

There's nice, boogie. And then there's Southern Nice. Where at first I thought people were fucking with me. Because they were just so nice and I was like, do they think I'm stupid?

Am I? Is this the insult that we hear about? Is this the bless your heart talk? No, so it hasn't been that.

It's just been like, hey, how are you? How's your day? Can I do stuff for you? Can I help you with this and that?

I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to sell me something like hell? I'm going to start holding my leg in a minute here. Exactly.

And you know, while that being a bonus, it doesn't happen yet. But the people here are just so different. And I love it. We got a bigger house.

I owned this property. So that was a whole nightmare and a half. And I got back into the community. I've started to, you know, in Denver, I made the attempt.

COVID kind of fussed with my ability to be in crowds. But I'm back. I'm back. You're back in.

So how's the scene? I know because you're real close to path girl. I mean, you're literally. Yeah.

Yeah. You're right. Yeah. You're right.

You're right. You're right. You're a creepy motherfucker. I'm sure she would love that.

If it was you and not me, but yeah. She is armed. Oh, I'm sure she's. She's armed.

She's not. This is the East Coast. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. California is less gunny than the East Coast. That's for sure, especially the area you're in. But yeah.

So how is the have you been to any parties? You're you're seeing someone. You're starting seeing someone that we know. Yeah.

Yeah. So what are the O.G. Spike? I've got a permission to talk about her.

Great. We've she's been on the show. She was actually on episode 69 doing a 69 with Mew, which, you know, I legendary legendary. Legendary.

Legendary. Spike is awesome. Agreed. She hit me up out here.

We've been dating. It was a freakish shit. And yeah. So I went to a craft fair slash slosh sort of thing.

I think so much is food and slosh is drinks, right? Right. Yeah. I remember.

Okay. So, so yeah. Then it was a slosh. There was no food.

And I'm very sad about that. But it was great to see the variety. I was I had the assumption that a lot of the people here in the community were a lot older. Right.

And while being while that's true, there was a plethora of younger, fresh, um, kinksers. Nice. It was great. I met a lot of people and here's let me tell you how large our giant small community is back when I was with my ex wife.

The content she is. Can I say that? Can I say? Sure.