Cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha Wayden and are your titties I am picturing you doing a shaky shaky dance? For Donaghas? I might have been doing a shaky shaky dance. Are you doing that?
Where are you? A little bit yeah. Are you topless? Now I'm wearing a shirt donaghas has still here it's late o'clock so.
Totem from disclosing your titties from Fearong Van Bwin The shirt comes off with quality, she'll have a name for real right? Yes. I want my Suzanne Rice the cat though It's like James Jamesι Swearing has to be Karachi Orkersjerks Prince Planet from the famous Disney Jessica playing, but that's literally the most classic that I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah.
Your tits are hanging like down by your ankles and the cats are like, yeah, meow, meow, swatting at them like yarn balls. I don't think you have a, that's more of my testicles. My testicles are close to that, but not quite. But let's go back to a nice visual, nice voluptuous path girl boobs.
Yes. Raddling. How, when's the last time you motorboded your man? God, I was probably about a week ago.
I got out of the shower. Yeah. I got out of the shower and I just basically kind of straddled him when he was playing his Xbox and I was kind of like, hi. You know, I like hearing this.
Yes. I think that's good relationship effort. And I'm sure he appreciate you ever just rest a boob on his on his head while he's gaming. No, I have not, but I think I told you, I know if it was, I think it was off there, we're talking about where Christ is going to joke about how he walked behind his wife and put his penis on her shoulder and she talked about it at a at a dinner party and then she's like, Hey, hey, hey, it wasn't a parrot.
It was a cockatoo. I get a cockatoo on the shoulder. I think you literally told that story the last episode. I'm not going to tell you off air, but well, well, for all.
It's a funny joke. Let's get back to your boob and not Bert. Yes. I just for visualizing Bert.
I love Bert. He's funny. I just don't want to watch a middle age topless man perform for an hour. I'm a middle age topless woman.
It's different. You got the Juggins. This is true. And they're nice double D.
So there you have you have you have you have some Juggins at all. Boobs sizes are amazing for. You know, let's let's get into this. Let's get into fucking into boob math.
I don't care because well, you you like boobs. You've taken of the badge. So you are you would say bisexual, I would say. Yes.
Or a pan. I don't know what the 7,000 or anything. I think it's called heteroflexible now or whatever. That's a problem.
So wait, heteroflexible. So that means that you predominantly are male, but you will venture into a woman. Now is that relationship? Because I just like that, you know, like if you're straight or you're by by just means that you will have sex, but people started adding relationships to the sexuality.
So it's like it means that you'll be with a woman, but you won't have a relationship with a woman. That has its own term. Yeah, I mean, I've always played with women. I've never had a relationship with them.
And I mean, like the first woman I played around with back in like my late twenties, I mean, she was a very close friend. So I did talk to her and stuff and hung up. But it wasn't a physical life where we were dating relationship. Right.
Right. Well, then it was actually my my poly wife. I mean, that was a relationship. I mean, we talked to her.
That is a relationship and you guys fooled around. So yeah, oh, yeah. We had been in a relationship with a young man in a solo monogamous relationship. No, I have not.
But you have been in relationships. You have cuddled with the ladies. Yes, they're extra cut. I don't know what we're back on titties.
OK, so you've you've taken the titties. I just want to do established that because there's, you know, all the things. And my thing about titties, I am not as concerned with size of titties as I am with the practicality and sensitivity of the titty. So if you have an A, but when I play with it, you respond to that.
That's cool. That's cool. That's cool by me. Right.
You know, whereas, of course, you know, perfect boobs are perfect boobs. You know, it's the same with a perfect cock or a perfect ass or perfect. You know, if it's if it's if it's an exceptionally attractive thing, then OK, but but even boobs that, you know, because I played with like the perfect fake boobs, you know, that were done surgically perfect and they look phenomenal, but they don't have any response. I just kind of I'm not that into it anymore.
Right. How do you feel about boobs? I mean, I don't have to have big boobs. I mean, the women I've played with have been anywhere from an A cup to probably a D or a double D.
But I mean, I like I like a handful, you know, and it depends on the size of women. I mean, I've had very big T women where a B cup is fucking massive and I've had some larger women where they're like, you know, a D cup and it's almost like an A. But if I like to see, you know, I'm kind of like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a handful, right? I'm kind of just kind of walk up behind you and just cup your boobs and just kind of squish them.
Just kind of like, who doesn't nice. But how do you are you are you similar on the same page with me as far as the if they're not? I mean, because I'm a player, so I'm always trying to get a reaction and a thing and whatever. So if it's like, as you touch a lot of boobs and it's like, oh, that's fun and but doesn't really feel like much, you know, yeah, I mean, obviously, if a woman like if I start grabbing her boob or sucking on her boob and like she gets into it, that obviously turns me on more.
But I happen with women that are just for whatever reason, either they've had implants or whatever. It's just, you know, having stuff done to their boobs doesn't turn them on. So it's kind of it's almost disappointing because it's kind of like, oh, I'm doing stuff and you're not giving me a reaction kind of thing. But yeah, I do like it when they're kind of more responsive with stuff like that.
Yeah, for me responses, response overtakes size. Yes, for sure. So what we haven't started a show yet. Oh, yeah.
The show you're about to hear is for mature audiences only viewer discretion is advised. That means you don't have to listen to it. But if you're curious, here we go. You feel your six of the squat plane.
Your desire is my mystery. Come and join our world of play. Okay. Welcome to a party podcast to show where the adventures of the Kiki lifestyle section of the human mind.
We're recording on Zen Kester where Satan called. He wants his weather back. I'm path girl. I am Cal Boogie.
Dear, dear God, you're on the East Coast in heat humidity. Yeah, it's warm here, but it's it's a it's making it less sexy. It's not sexy heat. No, no, it's 90.
It was 94 today. And with the heat index, it was 104 in North Carolina. I can't even imagine I have family up in New York and they were saying like they're watching one of the baseball games left line on TV and like on the city field with the Mets play. It was like 96 and with the heat index, it was like over 110.
Oh my God, those four guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I made the right choice and not being a sports guy. I'm pretty sure I will I will opt for the indoor sport with air conditioning, like football or maybe an aggressive ping pong. And then because, you know, in baseball, it's really hard to fit a full size baseball and a vagina, but you can fit a pong.
You got the thing. I heard somebody talking about fitting their footballs in there because they squish. That sounds amazing. First up, not not going to argue, but it also sounds definitely dangerous.
Oh, of course. If it deteriorates the foamy because it's like a squishy foam, like it just seems like it could. Yeah, but most of the new ones are coded like with rubber stuff in it. You know what I mean?
Yeah, but it's just squish and what I mean, I mean, because I don't think you're going to fit one in a condom. This is by the way, if you're new to pervert a podcast, we do have topics, but sometimes we just random off onto things like, how would you put a nerve ball? Maybe the little nerve balls, but it's just you got to be able to retrieve that. Like, oh my God, I'm thinking of the South Park movie and when I want to write a shooting ping pong balls out of her badge.
Well, that's my big ball trick. It's good. It's the best sound, by the way. When a ping pong ball hits, I mean, we I don't know if you remember on the show, but there was a time.
What was it? Primal hardware. There's a plug for that company that we haven't talked about in a while. We did a deal with them where they made us two obby positors, which is the one that you can make, the gelatin egg and then actually impregnate the because that was real big for a while with.
And we impregnated you on the show and then she dropped the egg from like two feet into a bowl and made a satisfying sound when she birthed because that was because that's one of her big, you know, hentai fantasies when she watches hentai and all her interesting porn that she chose. But the problem with the, I think I gave those to a negma. Like one of them we didn't even use because eyes got bigger than the stomach and when they said which ones do you want? Because I made a jingle for them and we did a sponsorship thing with them.
It was really cool, really good company and they make really, really good products. But our, our vaginal eyes, muse vaginal eyes got bigger than her actual vagina. And so she's like, give me the big ones. And so what we didn't consider was it's big and so maybe it's big enough to go in and be sexy, but then you have to shove an egg through it.
That's all looped up and everything. So it just really wasn't very practical. Like if we would have got the smaller ones, we probably would have been able to do more play with it. Yeah.
So if you're going to get an avi positor and you have tentacle fantasy fetishes people and you're going to go to primahardware.com and visit them, get the medium or the smaller one unless of course you are a giant fisting person that that can do a lot of fisting or whatever. Because once you get the lube on that stuff, it does get pretty good. So get the smaller one and then impregnate your mate with gelatin eggs and have a fun roleplay. There you go.
The more you know, that's what you do with sweat. That's that's that's the intro. That's that's our segment. Do you have any sex stuff to talk about?
Any any kink? Just some vanilla sex with Donas because he's been sick the last couple of weeks. So I finally got him decontaminated. And when was that?
It was Saturday or Sunday that we finally were able to like just have some plain old vanilla sex, but we're going to a party on Saturday. We're going to a pride party. It's my birthday weekend. I finally get to be Uncle Creepy in person.
It's got to be Uncle Creepy's first party out there. I don't know. We talked. I already talked to him.
We already did his segment, but he's all excited about it. Yes. And I have a scene plan, but Doc, I already told everybody in our tribe. I'm like, I go first.
It's me. Me first, I took my birthday. I'm with Doc in like months there. And the alert, OK, you can go first.
I'm going to come in with a knife. You're going to fuck out of my way. Yes, yes. So I'm really looking forward to sounding.
I think that's going to be fun. And I look for it. Obviously, Uncle Creepy is really excited about it. And then of course I get all but hurt because I'm like, well, I hope you guys have fun.
And you want to get more but hurt? Because if I play with the Greek, he's going to be the end to get to see my magnificent ass and all it's glory. And you will be able to see it. Whatever.
Whatever, man. I don't want to see us anyway. I've seen pictures of it. I've seen pictures of it.
I have seen it. I've seen it. Well, I mean, that's going to be a really cool event. And then also, and I don't want to tease this, but I am sending because Uncle Creepy wants to do some of his own kind of recording and try other types of shows.
And because him and Enigma both were very big in the horror, with a Halloween haunt kind of thing, whether you dress up as characters. And so he may want to do a show about that and whatever. So and he had given us originally a bunch of equipment. And so what was left, I said, well, let me send you back the equipment that you gave me and then I'll send you a sound board and whatever, which also, because he's with you, gives the ability, and I don't know how ever we're going to do this, but now he will have the ability, like you could go to his place.
We've already been talking. And then him can go on Zencaster with me, and then we may be able to do segments all together, like the old days. So that's a potential. Yes, we need to figure that out.
And then we can have Kinky Shenanigans. Then we can have Kinky Shenanigans and go back to a little more of the old lab days kind of for that and spikes out there. So obviously, fingers and spike and all sorts of stuff. So some potential fun is coming up.
Now they creep out there with you. I'm so excited. And I'm looking forward to it, but let's get into a segment. Should you pet it?
Should you edit? What's the proper way to get it? You don't want you to regret it. So we answer stuff from Reddit.
You get to start this segment now because I deleted half of the post. You fucked up. Yeah. Yeah.
So I'm like, well, I know what it is. Well, I was prepared for class. Yeah. Yeah, I was prepared, but apparently I accidentally when I translate.
So I'll get my homework. Yeah. So you go ahead and read the post then. Okay.
So we're back to the Reddit. And the question is, is it ever okay to ask out a dominant you pay for? So the person post, I have a pro Dom that I've seen for quite a few sessions and I really enjoy the sessions and her as a person. We always end up talking about life's up and she's very open with me.
The other day we started talking about an art show that we both like and it's coming up. So the thought popped in my head. Should I ask her to go with me? My instinct is that it would be a stupid idea putting her in an awkward spot where she might have to reject me.
But at the same time, I feel like she enjoys session with me and we have fun. So part of me is asking this because I haven't successful finding BDS and partners at lunch is I'd love to be in a relationship whether it's romantic or just friends with someone who practices BDSM and can hang out more casually without it feeling so transactional. Hi. So let me put the boogie on you and basically say so boogey.
What do you think? Well, this is I mean, look, if look, I understand the feelings here. This is not just necessarily applicable to your kink relationships. This this or your kink pro Dom.
This also goes for work. This also goes for your therapist. This also goes for any time where you have a professional situation that you spend time with somebody and then you like them. That's a normal feeling.
It happens, especially in situations where there's some sort of power exchange like a boss or a therapist. It's very common to be like, wow, we actually get along. I've actually done this. I have actually done this and and with a therapist that and I'm just going to say you know, you already know the answer.
Right. Already says he knows the answer. This is a paid transaction. Even if she isn't joining her work, you want people to enjoy their work, by the way.
That's a good thing. That's it. You it's not an indicator that she wants to fuck you or wants to be with you. It's it's part of her job to create that energy, especially when you're talking about a pro Dom or a sex worker or a stripper or any of the things that are meant to kind of get you feeling a certain way.
There's parts of your brain that are like, oh, this is for real. This stripper really likes me. No, this is a job. This is their job to make you feel that way.
So even if you get attached 99% of the time, there's going to be a rejection. They're used to it. You know, if you've been a pro Dom for a while or a sex worker or whatever, you're used to guys kind of being like, Hey, let's take this out of the this and go to that. It's normal.
There is going to be a rejection and be all I'm not going to go further because I want to get into the potential downfalls of him, but it's probably going to be worse for you than it is for her. Yeah, because she's used to it. Like you said, and it's just like you may even lose her as your your Dom. I mean, it's just I understand like it's always good to have a rapport with your dominant and that helps the play go better, whether it be a pro or whether it be a casual relationship.
But now don't get me wrong. She might be up for Hey, you want to, you know, if she would there are people that are quote unquote professional escorts that are not sexually related like, Hey, do you want to go to this art show? But it's certainly when he puts it as I'm looking to be in a relationship with a romantic just friends. Yeah, I think he's probably frustrated with going out to all the different King events and it's just, you know, he's like, well, I have a good report with her.
Why not her? And it's just like because she's creating that illusion. And I think it's just going to wind up getting things worse. You're going to get feelings entangled and then it's just she's not there for feeling.
She's there to provide you a service. Yeah. Yeah, no matter what it's going to change the second that exits because she's going to have to either get defensive and not maybe negative, not like, you know, angrily defensive, but she's going to have to put up a wall because she's going to realize that because her safety is important because sometimes guys get very attached and then they get fucking cray cray and then they start obsessing and then if they reject you then if you get rejected, then they turn into fucking assholes. Right.
So no matter what, opening your mouth on this is going to make a change in the dynamic that can't be undone. There is of course, there's a 1% chance and there's been a few stories where you hear, yeah, we were a pro thing or I was the prostitute and now we're married and we get along great. Yeah, that is so so the minority. That is so the minority.
Most of the time what happens is there will be a rejection and then you're going to feel stupid. You're going to feel awkward. You're going to now be like, well, why doesn't she like me for me? You're because now if you're at this point, there's a potential that you already have feelings now and that you're starting to work out some fantasies about her being like, yeah, fuck.
Yeah, let's just let's just be in love. I don't want to do this job anymore. I was just waiting to find that right guy and you are so and it's you, you, you, you, that's your in your masturbation fantasy. Yeah, but you're going to feel rejected and then now you're going to be like, well, I guess we'll just, you know, it depends on the way it was.
Yeah, you're just going to be like, okay, well, I guess I'll still do it. Is that going to build a resentment? Is that are you now going to be like, it's not the same? Exactly.
Because if you deal with this on your own and you make the choice that, okay, this is a professional thing and you don't say anything and you enjoy the sessions and you enjoy that little extra titillation that happens because you do like her a little bit. But if you can manage that and keep that in check, then you can continue in the place scenes and enjoy your place scenes because you're not, you don't have anyone else to play with. That's why you went to a pro in the first place, which is normal in places that don't have a big scene. There's a lot of people.
I wish more women had male pro doms to go to. But, you know, it's a lot of men find the pro dominance because there's more female pro dominance out there. But that's a normal thing for people that want kink that there's no kink. Are you going to now fuck up that one opportunity to have someone that you enjoy playing with?
Yeah, here's the question I had also because he put it in as I'm asking this because I haven't been successful at finding BDSM partners at Munches. All right, how often are you getting out? Why are you only going to Munches? There's sloshes, there's events, there's workshops, there's online things.
Get out to his men. You know, it took me after I broke up with my last relationship like a good seven eight months and I was driving 90 minutes one way to go to get out to a good place. And I was like, I'm not going to be able to get out of the area that I'm in to get into a whole new kinky pool of people just to find people to date. But here's another thing and I thought I had you're not being successful finding partners.
Could that possibly be because you're stuck on her and you want a relationship with her and there may be women or men that are right in front of you that you're ignoring because it's not her. That's a possibility. Obviously now your now your hopes are high that you're going to get your, you know, supreme trained pro dominant. That's also going to love you as a person.
Yeah, you know, you could be your expectations could be a lot higher. And we've talked a lot about that on the show in the past about about making realistic expectations for your relationships. Well, and she may she may truly like him as a friend. I mean, like my therapist who's very keen friendly.
I always tell her she's not like a therapist to me. She's like, I sit down at my computer for an hour with a cup of coffee and I call it my coffee and bitch sessions. But there's been times where we just basically like I've kitted around about like, yeah, we need to go for lunch one day and she goes, you know, I can't do that. I said, of course, like I can't even invite her to my wedding because she's my therapist.
But at the same time, if I ever were to discontinue my professional relationship with her, then we could go out and head, you know, because we don't have that professional relationship anymore. But I'd rather have the professional relationship where every once in a while, she pulls out the therapy card and be like, hey, what do you think about that versus losing a great therapist? You know, I love her to death, but she's up. She is my professional therapist.
There has to be a line there for her and for me. No, I'm with you. I'm absolutely with you. And I have a therapist as well, or I did.
And she said we can't be friends until you've not been a client for two years. Wow. And so otherwise it's a breach of whatever your contract is. And so I literally, I think it was like recently that I actually emailed her.
And I said, has it been two years? She literally tied back. She's like, almost, almost because we did have like, she would just stay on the phone with me. Like we had our phone sessions and then the phone session would be like, you know, 40 minutes and like two hours later, we're still talking.
So it was so, you know, so that's where I was like, okay, this is we, we made great friends. But once again, it was still that's not going to happen in a professional setting. And I don't know, maybe in the two years, you know, show one a chat or something like that because she would ask me a lot of questions because I obviously with all the kink and the things that I do with the show and stuff like that, she found that very interesting. And it might have been a good friendship and I had already stopped the sessions.
So we weren't in therapy with each other anymore. So there's nothing wrong with asking as you exit the professional setting, you know, and then if you get rejected, you get rejected. But in the setting, I think you're really looking at some problems. Here's at the bottom line, let her ask.
If she asks, okay, then now you know she's asking. Yeah. Hang on just a second. Do what you got to do, Martin?
Sorry. So we made a difference. That's the manager here at Storage. And so I don't know what's going to be happening.
But he was also doing that because I think he's showing the storage to a client and we're talking about kinky things and I'm not supposed to be screaming about dicks and things. Perverted podcast audience, by the way, I live in a car and I work out of storage and they're very nice and they let me record the show here. So, but yeah, if you let her ask, then you know, then you know what the answer is. You don't have to second guess that.
You know what that answer is. But if you if you breach that topic, I think you're going to have problems and I would suggest against it. Yeah, I don't think it's worth a chance of losing a good throw Dom and breaking that relationship. But better keep his feelings and check also because if his feelings are getting ahead, you know, he could wind up doing something he regrets and then yeah.
Uncle creepy lurks around your bedroom, one serving his clutchy fan of traits, the places where your mama said that good girls shouldn't touch. How about not saying stupid shit to your girlfriend? What is that? We're recording, by the way.
Wait, wait, wait, what stupid shit are you saying to your girlfriend now? What's the difference is this? It's like, so yeah, it's obviously stupid comment time for Uncle creepy. And you know how you know how ladies have their particular things and then they don't like you to talk about a certain thing.
And then you go ahead and tease like a fucking moron and the conversation goes from he he I love to suck your dick on the TV tip. What the fuck is your problem? You know, I hate when you talk about these things and you did it. So now I feel really bad and you're dumb.
Oh, and now you have to be the dumb guy and be like, oh, this is joking. It's just joking. It's just joking. I thought we were I thought it was fun and you know, stuff and you acted like you I saw your face.
Yeah, I did. I saw your face and it like didn't you know, it didn't look. You were laughing? No.
Yeah, dumb guy. You said it was too too text. I'm happy right now doing this thing and I said, oh, what if you enhance this thing with something that you don't like and then the text return was like you ruined the happiness you fucking up. And now I'm mad.
Well, you know, this is a what we men like to call a learning experience. This is and you know to the ladies out there. Sometimes we don't learn. We don't pick up those cues and and so we learn.
So obviously you have now learned that this is a this is not good. And we move. We move. We move.
We write it down. Yeah, yeah, we write it down in our book of don't fucking do this again, stupid and right here page 19. Don't fucking say these things. It says right here.
Spike does not like these things and they're right there. It's good. But it's good to have the I remember when I had the girls in the level lab, they actually made a whiteboard. That's for me that said, don't be stupid here and don't be stupid here because I mean, you know, and I'm not saying that in a demeaning way like I'm letting people down.
But I am I'm a guy and I do, you know, I forget things sometimes and sometimes I get caught up in the moment and a good joke is worth, you know, this or that and then you misjudge a face and you're like, oh, you know, I mean, on things that are like real like don't do this like and you have the negotiated conversation. Okay, I know this is a limit and okay, I'm not that dumb, but then there's this like kind of things that they're like, yeah, I don't like that, you know, or whatever and then you just kind of, yeah, it does happen. I'm not giving an excuse. No, there's no excuse to it.
I'm just saying that because hey, the bitches fucking say some dumb shit too. That's true. I'm asked to do the leading stuff and you know, she didn't. So you're definitely it's definitely zero versus one at this point.
And you don't want to forget. Yeah, if we're going to put points on the board, like we'll go points on the board, but yeah, it was definitely like tail between the legs. Oh fuck. And then, you know, she called it out very respectfully and very much like this is how I'm feeling you, you fuck this up.
And this is how it is. And so I had to, you know, grow and grow. Yeah, and I apologize. I moved forward from it.
I said I would never do it again, which I shan't or shall not or she'll. Shant is good. Shant is good. I shant.
And I shouldn't. So I didn't. The good news here is and something that I can speak from personal experience when you speak with Spike Spike is a very good communicator. Like she she is able to like articulate her feelings and stuff like that, which is which really is a benefit to a relationship to have somebody that can actually just look you straight in the eye and say, this is what I'm feeling this hurt my feelings.
Let's work on it. I mean, you know, sometimes people get real emotional and and sketchy and angry and but you hope that somebody can take that breath and be able to say, you know, that was that was party. We're going to call that and let's let's put that on the table and then allow you to either fix it or fuck up worse. And then the escalation of stupidity gets an escalation of more consequences.
Yeah. And my biggest fault with this is that I shut down like I'm like, oh, well, that's the end of our fucking relationship. I've fucked it up and the game's over. And then I'm just like, well, wait a minute, stupid, apologize.
And she's talking to you. So that's a good sign. So, but yeah, that's also, you know, communicative. That's on my list of things.
Spike is good at. Yeah, no, I think I and what you said is also, I think, real important for everyone out there. It's normal when you're in a new relationship and you're building something and everything's going good and then you do the dumb thing that like you're like, it doesn't mean it's the end. Take that breather.
Obviously default to that personal inventory where you're like, this is if you can clearly see my party file. I fucked up here. Then immediately go for that apology and say you are right. And if you can do that, that it's when you double down and you're like, oh, I was, you know, you can't do that.
Yeah, you took it. Yeah, you took it. Now you're going to gaslight them and whatever. Now you're just a douche, you know, which there's enough of those on both sides of every relationship.
So just take that breather. But understand that if someone's communicating with you, then then there's a chance. It doesn't mean there's, see, I think you and I feel the same way because sometimes I hate that uncomfortable feeling so much of fucking up that I just default to, okay, just end the relationship. And then I just, it's kind of like double down on the punishment for myself because I just don't want to feel because that recovery process is painful.
You know what I mean? It's like, because then I got to, I know that in the back of my mind, it's just going to bug the shit out of me for probably a couple months. Yeah, you're always going to come back to that like, well, you know, I'm fucking up and it's just, it's ending and let's end it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I can, so, and basically that's kind of just selfishness on my part that I just don't want to feel the pain of being wrong because I'm like, oh my God. Yeah, you know, checking his major with my current relationships. Yeah, yeah. So I think it's, I think you handled it.
You handled it. Well, once again, I love being in this position creepy and you know what I'm going to say. I love, I love being in this position to where I can be supportive of my friend who fucked up because it wasn't me. Thank you.
I'm so like, bro, it's okay. You did good in the back of my mind. I'm like, it wasn't me. Oh, thank God.
It's so bad. So there's, there's a love there and a support, but I think you did the right things. You apologize. You had someone that was willing to communicate with you and totally not what we were going to start this topic.
But I was just going to try and mix it in some point. But no, I think it is important because conflict resolution is part of every relationship BDSM can't sex or anything and being able to step back and own that you fucked up and not just defend it and allow someone to be hurt over it. And that's the ugly part is to just know that they're going to hurt with it because it's something that hurt and then, you know, you have to, everyone has to sit with that. And it's over and it wasn't as painful as my head made it out to be when I first saw that comic come back where she was like, I'm upset right now and I was like, well, fuck.
Yeah, we're good. So I think that's actually good. A good segue into this topic because here's a situation where somebody said stupid shit and didn't clean it up afterwards. Yeah, the communication is bad and it was used to spare somebody's ego or their own insecurities.
And so, so actually pretty good segue, pretty good segue. So we saw a situation where this was done relatively well considering the situation. And let's go into this one where we're going to roll our eyes and understand. I understand as a dude that there's insecurity here, a lot of insecurity.
But man, it's going to come off really dumb. This is way dumber. I don't know if this is, I don't want to know anything. But I'm assuming that what this guy said to this chick might even be dumber than what you said despite.
Let's try. Boyfriend made me feel bad for being a tall girl and submissive. Yeah. Here we go, kids.
He said that it would fit me more if I was a bad girl because I'm taller. She's five, seven, by the way, is tall now. Okay. By the way, funny was five, seven.
I think my face looks more dominant and my attitude more feisty because she's taller. I asked him if that was more fitting, if it was more fitting for a shorter girl to be submissive. And he said, yes, I don't like the fact that I'm viewed as more dominant because of my height, which I can't control. I'm very much into feminine cute stuff and 90% submissive.
And it makes me feel like it's all performative when I'm not viewed as how I feel. Oh, oh, it's getting good. Let's just keep going. Okay.
My boyfriend didn't mean this in a bad way. That's her justifying him, by the way. Very, very nice of you, very kind, but very unnecessary because he told me he likes when I'm dominant too. There is now the cue of all of this.
This is for a shadow. But obviously him as a Dom, I feel he would prefer a submissive girl that he doesn't fully view and he doesn't fully view me as that. I feel like I, if I was shorter, he would take my role more serious and like it more. I don't feel comfortable being a sub when he doesn't even view me as one totally.
He doesn't get it because he's 6'2. The guy's fucking 6'2. She's 5'7. And a Dom which fits perfectly, perfectly stereotypically.
And even though I'm not super tall, I feel I'm at a disadvantage compared to other girls. And it gives me crazy body dysmorphia. So this is fucking where they're heading out. That she's too tall to be a submissive.
Okay. I thought that if I got a taller guy, I would be seen as submissive as I want to because I'm not a submissive. As I want to because I've had this issue before with sub guys that wanted me to be short. So it gets a little confusing here.
But it feels like I can't escape it. And being a sub is part of my persona, but I feel like I can't enjoy it anymore. With him, she didn't put that. I'm just adding that.
She can't sew. So she's not submissive because she's too tall for the 6'2 guy. Great. But she's not dominant because she's 5'7.
No, no, no, no. He says he likes it when she's dominant too. Okay. But so he is a switch.
Right? And so is she. And can't deal with the fact that he's a switch. So he I I've read this four different times and every time I get angry and understanding at the same time.
What is your take on this? I personally I so okay. So she wants to be submissive to him at sometimes. Sure.
Sometimes he wants her to be dominant. Sometimes. Right. Right.
And because he thinks that because she's taller than most women, I guess that she can't be dominant. No, no, she can't be submissive because she's. Too tall. Too tall.
I think he's not a dominant at all. I don't think he wants to be a dominant at all. I think he wants to bottom and he's trying to bully her into not believing that she's a submissive. So she will take on the role of dominating him and he doesn't know how to deal with it.
He wants a big titty golf mommy. Yeah. So he wants to say that you're not really submissive. So you should probably just dominate me because this isn't going to work with you as a submissive because you're fucking short and he can't deal with being able to just say I just want to be submissive because maybe he feels emasculated by being a submissive all the time.
But that's probably what he really wants because why on why on fucking earth would you ever throw this shit at someone which is complete like like dude. Do you have anything more before I start fucking rambling? So I'm thinking that there needs like complete opposite of what happened to me. There needs to be or it needs to be the exact same as me.
There needs to be some sit down adult equal level playing field partner talk. Right. And they need to hash this out. Like what do you want from this relationship?
Do you want me to always be submissive? We'll do that. Do you want me to sometimes dominate you? We need to do that.
And just turn around this issue and you know and throw it out some like oh you're not dominant or you're not submissive. You're too tall. And five foot seven. That's that's not that tall to be honest right everybody's smaller than me.
You're six two. Yeah. Like it's very rare to find somebody taller than me and when I do I'm kind of mad but at the same time I feel like this needs some serious communication. There's something that we're missing from this conversation that she either he teased her a little bit and she took it you know she took it to heart and hit one of her you know her triggers and and she doesn't have the ability to get that communication out there.
And it's kind of let it stew and build and build and build and now here we are. Yeah I mean but in there I mean she says she actually I mean you could say maybe he's making a joke and once again as we're dumb guys we make dumb jokes we just talked about that. So but he doubled down on it because she specifically did ask him do you feel that I'm not submissive because of that and he said yes so now he's actually this isn't like a oh wow I heard her feelings this is like still manipulation and kind of gaslighting because he obviously wants something that's not her and he has no problem fucking telling her that. Yeah like and he's not even being I don't even think he's being clear with what he actually wants.
My guess certainly doesn't sound like it because why on earth because first off this is this is a role play. This dominant submission is a role play and we've talked about this recently on other shows that this is not nature dominance and submission where you fight to the death and whoever loses or taps out is the submissive. Yeah. Who are choosing this dynamic.
So that's why you can have a five foot two female dominant who weighs a hundred pounds completely and effectively dominate a three hundred pounds six foot five man. Yeah and have a great I know tons tons of female dominant who are a teeny but that's not what this is about. It's about the power exchange it's about taking that control but somebody has to give up the control that's the submission that we do in this lifestyle. So the size doesn't matter because at any point you know like even me being a big guy or you being a big guy you know there's people that you top that may be way a hundred pounds they can still punch you in the throat they can still pick up a weapon and stab you with it they are volunteering to submit to you.
Size and strength do not matter for a fucking tidbit. So the idea that you're going to say oh you're you're too big to be a submissive is a complete ignorance of what this lifestyle is even about what this play is even about. And I'm seeing like her talking about bodies Morpheus and I think that something like that should also be addressed to before any of this happens because you're leading you're heading down a path of you know different feelings on different things and when you try to you know have a conversation like that that set somebody off you're obviously not paying attention to their feelings and it just seems like there needs to be some serious serious sit down and talking with this situation. Yeah this I mean to me this this if he doesn't make an about face on this if he doesn't actually admit what his issue is or if he doesn't acknowledge her feelings in that situation where you know this is somebody who hasn't securities about their height at five seven or their size or whatever that you're not paying attention to your partner's needs you're not paying attention to what makes them tick and you're you're just steam rolling over issues and possibly just because you have your own selfish desires it just sounds manipulative it does it just ultimately sounds very manipulative and like I said I don't know his side of the story I don't know if it's just dumb guy stuff but I know that's a crazy fucking thing to say to somebody.
Yeah and then double down on it right after yeah brought it up yeah that's a sound it just sounds like what. Yeah well deciphering what she was trying to say at first really made it confusing but now trying to understand you know where she's coming from it just seems a little a little bit like we're missing some of it but with what we've got I think that she needs to talk about straight up face to face with him and he needs to recognize that you know if he's if he you know we've got his way in like oh I'm a dominant dominant Domitom and you're my submissive and it's like just kidding I don't want that I need you to top me mommy you know that. Yeah yeah yeah. That happens a lot.
Yeah it does happen a lot and and there's and there's or the other thing that does happen is there are dominance that come in and then discover that they don't connect with what they thought or their fantasy of the dominance was and they find that they really do like giving up that power and control. And and there's obviously been tons of slaves and submissives that came in at the bottom and then discovered that they don't really want to submit that they really want to be a top it's actually it's very normal and that's why a lot of people become switches by the way a lot of people come in and they think I'm a bottom or I'm a top and then they find that with the right person under the right circumstance that they do feel a connection to one or the other sides of the slash. But and that's normal but I mean you can't I know this is an audio format but I'm pointing at myself here right and it was the same way with me like I came in I'm like I'm very very dominant you know I'm the I'm the quote unquote you know but guy in charge. And this is how it goes and forcing myself into that peg just fucked up relationship after relationship.
And it wasn't until I you know understood that I was more of a service dominant you know what they call them what they call them now soft soft arms or whatever. I don't know 500 terms. Yes 500 terms but it took being honest with myself and being able to be like oh maybe I don't fit in this peg completely maybe I can fit in this other peg over here. You know maybe somebody could peg me and that's just.
I was waiting for it I'm glad it came out. Yeah me too otherwise I had to go to the doctors. So yeah it's it's just a matter of being honest with yourself at the same time maybe she's got to understand that you know if she wants to do any topping you know then or you know any of that domination stuff with them that they need to talk it out and be very very specific about it if they're going to dip their toes in and try this out because it sounds like it's already on a rocket start. Yeah it's okay to make that switch it's okay to discover who you are what is not okay is if you feel insecure about that to somehow try to manipulate your partner.
So you can avoid just saying I actually just want to be this or actually I don't feel this way anymore or I've changed yeah yeah that's definitely that you know what she needs. You know what she needs right. She needs well that could be that could definitely be I think she needs a spike advocate. Spike advocate you know I wonder if I could like pimp her out as a kind of communications like ambassador ambassador because she will tell it is like I have never experienced this even with my even with my wife with Mina it she communicates a lot.
She communicates a lot. She tells me exactly how her feelings are but she's very specific and she's very forthcoming with it. But with Spike it's the whole gamut you you are going to know what she's thinking and you're going to know it right fucking now and it's it's a lot of fun for me to try and keep up. Yeah.
And I think that if we can figure out a way to be like okay Spike go go get her. Tell her you know figure out her shit and then tell him and then that can bridge the gap and it could be like a spike based UN where different people are just the interpreter. Yeah. I've done that with people before I mean that's that's actually you know what I don't think we talked about that in a while.
There's nothing wrong with having people go to therapy you know marriage therapy or whatever relationship therapy all the time and then there's a mediator that sits there. There's nothing wrong you know as long as you don't pretend to be a therapist if you're not a therapist. There's nothing wrong I sat in negotiations with other people before I've I have been the person to sit in the room to just have that person there that can be like hey I'm just here I care about both of you and I just want to make sure that you guys are each hearing each other's feelings. There's nothing wrong with that.
I don't think there would be anything wrong with people pay big money for that. Obviously if you have an experienced therapist that's not full of shit then it's a little better but hey if you can't afford it if it's not accessible we've done a lot it's surely a negotiation. I've had people sit in mentors and stuff like that people that were under protection. I've had people sit in the negotiations with me and I was the dominant and the submissive was kind of new and learning how to negotiate and they brought in more than once surely more than once where the person says hey she's new I'm going to come in and sit and make sure that she covers all her bases in the negotiation with me.
I'm like okay yeah you know just have a seat you know yeah it's a it's a it's a interesting road to travel though with negotiations and stuff because sure you just I feel even with new people you know gets me sometimes where it's like and I'm you know me being who I am I'm like is this person trying to change the outcome is there a manipulation involved you know and I get it all stuck in my head so but I never had that happen open. I think I think it's been a good communication segment this half hour with you. Yeah and and see in ways that it can work and see see ways where it can go bad and it can get worse so hopefully these two can figure it out and and he can pull an uncle creepy and go yeah that was probably a pretty dumb thing to say as you have body issues and and then feel bad and or just say I this is what I want it's okay to change who you are it's just not okay to fuck with someone's head because you don't want to feel insecure or feel the you know like you were wrong or something. It's just not worth it.
No it's in a long run it's going to blow up in your face yeah and and the pain it's kind of like pulling a tooth man you can leave that sore infected tooth in your head for years and years which I did as a homeless person and or you can just go and have it ripped out and then it doesn't hurt anymore. You know go pull the fucking tooth on these conversations get it out because it may hurt but it's worth it. It's just it's going to lead to a better relationship and once that pain is gone and that recovery is taking place then you actually have more respect because now you've done something together where you have evidence in your relationship that oh well you're going to be able to do it. And then you have this relationship that oh we can actually fix things.
Yeah we can actually do this so if another thing comes out or something bigger comes out of left field and fucks with you in your relationship you now have some evidence to go okay this is crazy let's take a minute to reset and then understand we do have the evidence that we know how to talk through this and we know how to work together through this that actually builds it more intimacy. Yeah and it makes it so that you know that you can be safe with your partner to bring things up it makes you feel safe and knowing that if something bigger does come up that you can handle this. Right. And it makes it so much more hotter and funder to know that you know you can do something you know scary and dangerous and come out ahead and get head.
Yeah see get head get pegged hard anal all of the things that uncomfortableness opens up the valley. Yeah and then the sun comes through the weeds. And the Virgin. And the Virgin and the birds chirping anal sex is abundant.
Abundant. That's kind of an anal sex. Abundant anal. Abundant anal.
That's the name of my new band by the way. Oh fuck yeah dude. It's an indie rock band right. Totally indie rock female singer Abundant anal.
Oh nice. Add it to the nine other bands I don't have a singer for. Why not? Oh dear god.
Creepy. Yeah. We went in different directions but I think a very spirited conversation and I'm very glad that you came in and thank you very much for being honest about your faux pas. Yeah about my stupid mouth.
And then thank you to Spike for being Spike and bringing home the communication and lessons learned for all. Indeed. I'm blowing everyone's like what is going on. Oh hello.
Donneson is under sitting living in the next door. I think you're going to see a sunflower. What do you mean? And as usual.
Did you win something? We will. You know why we will because we're woo at the end of a show and that is the end of the show. 429.
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Lots of good topics and we'll see you guys on the next one. Boop boop.