43. From the Shadows to the Light – My Journey Out of Porn Prison

In this episode, I sat down with counselor Jeanie Hosken to share the story I once swore I'd never tell.“I was first exposed to porn when I was 10 years old… and I knew right away this wasn’t what I should be doing. I felt a lot of shame doing it.”What started as curiosity quickly became a secret life. For years, I didn’t think it was affecting me, until it destroyed my marriage. I lied. I gaslit. I broke the heart of someone I loved. And even though I was a believer, I kept it all in the dark.“I just gave it all up to God and said, ‘Please save me.’”From calling the hotline in the depths of my breakdown, to journaling through tears in the Colorado mountains, to shooting my first elk beside my Dad… this is the journey of how I went from porn prison to purpose.We unpack:* How early exposure and silence planted seeds of addiction* The deep tie between porn, pain, and generational wounds* My relapse after nearly two years of sobriety and why keeping it a secret destroyed more than the act itself* Why white-knuckling doesn’t work, but grace does* What changed when I started asking not “how do I stop?” but “who do I want to become?”“I never really had a strategy until I was about 30, which is wild to think about.”We talk EMDR, accountability software, my daily FASTT check-ins with my little brother, and what it means to rebuild your identity in Christ after you’ve burned your old one to the ground.“I call it porn prison, just this brutal cycle of pain and shame. But the truth is, the door was never locked. I just didn’t know how to walk out.”This isn’t just a story of sobriety. It’s a story of redemption. Of faith. Of legacy. Of getting up from the ashes with something worth building.If you’re struggling, or you know someone who is, I hope this episode makes space for honesty, healing, and hope.“You’re not unlovable. You’re not beyond saving. And your story’s not over.”🎙️ About My Guest: Jeanie HoskenJeanie Hosken is a seasoned counselor and the founder of Restoration Center. With nearly 40 years of experience as a Registered Dietitian and personal trainer, and 30 years as a counselor, Jeanie offers an integrated approach to healing that addresses the body, mind, and spirit. She holds a Master’s in Divinity from the Global Awakening Theological Seminary and is passionate about helping individuals live abundant lives physically, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Jeanie's own life experiences including moving 15 times, facing unemployment, and living in an Airstream travel trailer have equipped her to relate deeply to her clients' struggles. Learn more about her work at restorationcenter.life and her writings at restorationcenter.substack.com. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pornfreemillennial.substack.com/subscribe