Do-do-do-do do-do-do path-Girl. Do-do-do. Yeah, do-do-do. Do-do-do.
Yeah, well, well. You are just too freaking hyper for this early in the morning time. I feel good. I got a little bit in there, not in kindergarten.
You're commitin to lying, typically picking up the base a little bit. Eventually first off foremost. I don't even wanna say could creepy was asking about it? And we're all concerned that you followed through on your commitment.
And you know what I'm talking about, don't you? Yes, I do know what you're talking about. No frayed, you're going to be disappointed. Oh, wow.
I know. But it was out of my control because my body decided to take a downturn on me, which is not okay. All right. All right.
All right. Well, in the time that it takes to start the show, you better come in with some goddamn good news, because if you didn't get anal working for you after all of this, everyone was behind you on everyone was behind you. It's the arrows behind you, except Don is apparently. All right.
Let's start a show. One, two, three, four. Do you feel your six-loppies? Quiet.
Quiet. Scared that your desires by me, straight. Quiet. Come and join our candy world and play the Birdie Bocchai.
Hello and welcome to perverted podcast, the show where we explore the adventures of the Kiki lifestyle, sex, and the human mind. We're recording on Zencaster. And if anybody needs me, I'll be in my coffin over there dying of slow, but sexy death. I'm Patrick.
And how do I work in improv with a partner that's half dead? How do I change the story? What's going on here? I don't know.
Are you into necrophilia? Is that one of your kings? Surprisingly, as you know, I was part of the necrophilia enthusiast society for so many years. And now I'm ready to hear your new ventures into necrophilia for yourself.
Now you say yes and. Yes. And so if I play with myself when I'm half dead, is that technically necrophilia? It just depends on how you lay.
If you, I mean, you could put a, well, okay, now we're getting into sort of choking, hanging dark territory. But notice how I tried to use some of my cool improv techniques to, yeah, that's what I did because now I'm a, I've graduated. You're a ground. Oh, yeah.
I graduated improv workshop A, which is, yeah, that's the first six sessions of that. The first of, I don't know, five years worth. So not necessarily far into groundlings. And remember, I am not a groundling.
I am a student at the groundlings. Oh, but, but, but spill. I'm curious to see what if they experience, I mean, like you said, you're not one of the upper echelon of the groundlings, but you're at least getting foot in the door and you're into school. And so I'm curious to see if the expectation lived up to what it actually was.
Well, for those of you that are just checking in, welcome new potential zombies zits and zombie apocalypse. A pothatch. By the way, this is what happens every improv class. You suck and you are going to suck for a long, long time.
Improv is very different. PP zits, zams and zombies. Hello there. If you have listened to 20 or more episodes of perverted podcast, you become a zombie in training, which is a zit.
If you've listened to 50 or more episodes of perverted podcast, you are a PP zombie. And if you have listened to all 432 episodes and don't doubt the numerous amounts of perverted podcast, zombie apocalypse masters that we have out there, you just have to tolerate this shit for an hour every couple of weeks. And and continue your commitment every couple of weeks and another one on. So you really like pain and that's, you know, we provide it.
We provide it. So let's, I mean, we can go into groundlings and it was, it was fun. It was exciting. Um, it was not fun.
It was horrible. There was suicidal ideation constantly. And because it's the type of comedy, you know, I've been doing comedy for 40 years. Obviously you wouldn't know that by listening to the show.
But, uh, because I'm not very funny, but I haven't doing it a long time and I write songs and I do things and there's a lot of comedy I can do improv is none of that. It's like the violin of comedy where there's no transit. Like you can know how to play guitar. You'll kind of be able to pick up other instruments and do good at, you know, other instruments, but violin in music, there's no transferring units.
You're just going to suck until it's great. And that's what improv is to comedy because everything is in the moment. There's no preparation. You have a bunch of rules in your head that you have to internalize immediately.
Like one of our scenes we did, and I know I'm talking about grandlings now and not your vagina, but fuck it. Like here's what here's here's improv. Okay, guys, pick a pick a time of the day for them. So it's me and my partner up there.
We don't know each other. No, nothing, nothing. And someone says 11 11. The teacher says AM or PM.
And someone says PM and the teacher says, okay, go. So, gosh, that's a nice way. Now create your scene. So I'm like, I just start mopping as if I'm a janitor and at 11 PM, it's now closing time.
So this is when the janitors have their thing and then my partner is doing something else. And I got to figure out what the fuck they're doing and do I push what my whoever starts is the one that kind of sets the pace for where we are. And then it's who you know, so for somebody with a brain like mine, as we all know is very chaotic in whatever it is devastatingly overwhelming and difficult. And you have good moments and bad moments and class one, not fun.
No, God, I can imagine. But awesome at the same time. So, so I'll talk more about that later. But because I'd like to get to your vagina, you didn't have the anal.
The anal did not work, which is fine. It doesn't work out all the time. Yes. Yes.
But what about the vagina? The vagina to get some loving last Sunday. It was basically like I had gone and worked out in the yard and I was absolutely exhausted. That was one of the nights we had talked to the phone.
And then after I got the phone, I was kind of laying in bed. I'm like, well, I'm here anyway. I'm like, hey, God, I just want to come fuck me in. I get it.
See, fuck me in. I don't even know if I've heard that before. Yeah. That's I'll do that every once in a while.
Like if I'm laying in bed and watching TV and he's in the other room, watching something else, I'll kind of like text it and I'm like, hey, want to come fuck me in? I like it. I think that's a solid joke. I don't know if it's yours, but it's solid.
It's very, very solid. But just some nice, very, very light, you know, because he knew I was in a world of hurt. But I was just basically like, I'm horny. I can't move much, but please just take care of my needs.
And then shoot your load in me like I'm a fuck doll and put a towel under my ass. Like a fuck doll. Yeah, put a towel under my ass so I can drain and fall asleep and then throw it on ceremoniously, ungloriously under the floor. He's a very, he's a very attentive guy where as soon as he's done with his load, and he gives me a minute to kind of like settle like we have boxed the tissues on both sides of our bed.
So it's just basically like, you know, stuff, stuff, stuff. There you go. So you have all sorts of snippets the next day. Just you're just constantly pulling out little pieces of fucking tissue.
I call him snippets. That's snippets are the little piece of like, you know, because women wipe, you know, and so little teeny bits of toilet paper tear off and you know, you have those little snippets, I call them little snippets of toilet paper. Now the next time I go my bathroom and there's a little tiny piece of it, I'm going to say, oh, look at this. I think Nick and place are described them as cockroach joints because they roll up.
All right. When they roll up and it's like, oh, look, it's just like a little cockroach doobie, you know. And it's like shit happens. Like it doesn't bother.
I'm, of course, if you're a dude and you go down there, you're like, sniff it, sniff it, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick, flick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, wait, okay, it's maybe absorb some flavors, but you know, it's, it's the, it's the, it's your vagina, it's your volum. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have a thing about things being clean. So there's times I've turned on us away.
I'm like, he'll like roll over in the middle of the night and start feeling my boobs and grabbing my crotch. I'm like, push the whole button. I'm like, give me two seconds to go to the bathroom and clean up. I mean, I know.
No, I get it. And it will, it all depends on what you're going to do because the penis has no nose. The penis has no eyes and the penis does not care. The penis cares not.
It only, it is, it is a sensation only instrument. That is it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, no, but I just, I just got a visual in my head of like a penis, kind of like sniffing at the edge of a giant. No, bitch.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to use my limb, my appendage to press 911 on the phone, bitch, because you, you need to see a doctor. No, the penis does not ever do that. So if there's, it depends on what you're going to do. So it's like, I'm super, and I talk to creepy about this.
I'm super heavy on smells and stuff like that. So of course, if I'm going to go down on somebody, it's like, you want to make sure they haven't just come from the jam or 16 days of fucking hiking, you know, it's shower and clean. If there's going to be oral involved in it, I'm the same way. I don't like people going, and I used to have partners that are like, I don't care.
And I'm like, well, that's you, but it's my dick and I care just plenty, because it's going to be in my head. Um, but if you're just fucking in the middle of the night, I'm like, that's what baby wipes are for. You just have those for after. That's the thing.
You get a baby wipe. But still, I'll, I'll literally just jump up to the bathroom, you know, little soap water, clip, clip, clip, clip. Okay, let's continue, you know. Yeah, it's not hard to do.
It's not hard to do, but I'm glad that you are a fistidious about your badge and that, you know, but snippets aren't a big deal. It's just toilet paper. It's just, it's just toilet paper or paper towel, you know, or whatever the fuck. I mean, if you start seeing like strands of like cloth or something like that, you're like, okay, you know, maybe you stuffed a little too much, you know, or if you're feeling inside, which by the way, can happen and has happened and has happened once to me, you know, because a woman changes her tampon, you know, how many times in a period on a heavy day, how many times do you change a tampon on a heavy day, six, eight times?
I have not had a period in like 12 years. Thank you, Marina, IUD, but when you did, when I did, uh, I probably changed at least five, six times. Five six. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I really never, it was more for just the, if you're not careful as a woman, and you pee, they can absorb some urine and then it's like, yeah. Um, but, uh, because those strings hang down, those strings are absorbent, but, uh, yeah, it's, yeah, five, six times. And I never mind the fact of, you know, you have to worry about the health risks of like talk to shots syndrome and all that.
I don't know why. I mean, I think it goes back when I was in high school, like, there was one time like I realized that I had smelled down there. And I ever since like, like we were going someplace and we were in a car and somebody like, like, audibly said, like, what's that smell? And I'm like, Oh my God, that smells me.
And I'm like, from ever since then, it's been like, I don't care. Just like, I can bleach it if I have to. Right. Which, I mean, you can't get away from because, you know, during the period, like 98% of all women have a stronger sense, you know, because it's the period.
And well, and it's just the, the medical person, I mean, now knows that you can be fistedies about cleaning down there. But if your pH is off, if you have an infection that you don't know going around, whatever, you know, talking about, you know, one wonderful topic we're talking about on a show about sex and performance. Well, guess what? You know, having, you know, would you rather not have this conversation now with us who people you don't give a fuck about?
Or would you rather all of a sudden be in the car and be like, Oh, shit. And you're like on a new date or, you know, it wouldn't be better for us to just have this out here and talk about things and, you know, this is where we do it. Nothing to be ashamed of. No, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
You know, and like you said, there are people that are like, Oh, my God, it's sweaty. It's thinking I love it. More power to you. Enjoy that.
That's not me. That's not my thing. Your case, that's my thing. But what I was getting to was if you've ever lost it, have you ever forgotten one and put in another tampon thinking you took the one tampon out?
Um, no, but I did put one in and then went to go get Frisky with one. It was like the tail end of my period where it just basically like, what is put in just in case? And I forgot and I started to get Frisky with my then first fiancee on say many, many like back in high school and I like he started trying to get in there and he's like, uh, why isn't it going in? Oh, I'm extra dry.
And then I realized, Oh, shit. I'm like, I'm going to go. Pull a firecracker there, bro. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm going to pop that one out. Ooh, the mouth. Grab the mouth by the tail.
Basically. Oh, you have to make that sound when it comes out. You're pulling it by the tail. It would make it squeak.
No, no, that's just me. I enjoy humor in the bedroom, by the way. So that doesn't bother still to this day. One of the greatest moments in perverted podcast history, like when Dell was on, I don't remember Dell.
Oh my God. That was years ago. And Dell was like saying something and he kind of made a snarky joke to Mew about her tampon or something and whatever. And she literally on the show pulled out her tampon and hooked it across the room and hit him with it.
One of the greatest moments to this day. He was a badass. I love her. Oh my God.
She's a pathologist now. So she cuts up bodies every day. You got you got you got to pathologists. That's that's it makes me happy.
Well, I'm glad we could talk. So anyway, back to the thing. If it does get stuck inside of you, you do really want to be on check because you don't want to have that say inside because it can get infected. And it's a lot of bacteria, but I have gone fingering someone and I'm like, what the fuck is that?
And it felt like gauze or something like that. And it literally it was years and years ago and it just kind of didn't occur to me. And so afterwards, like I'm like, Oh my gosh. And I didn't tell her.
And if you feel something in there, because it can happen, you know, you put in five or six of those and you a day, you know, it's just like, you know, maybe you put one in or maybe it goes in or it slips in and you just don't, you know, you don't think about it. It can happen. So if you're fishing around in there, you're playing and you feel something there, just say, what is what is this? And then don't make a deal about it.
I have a question for you. Sure. I have a hand point in my ass right now. Well, hey, you know, I've been more power to you.
Have you ever played with a woman who's had like a menstrual cup? You know, those little discs they put over the Oh, yeah, yeah. I've the cervix. I played with women that use them and and some women swear by them, you know, that it works really, really well.
And there's a learning curve. I love this is the period show now. Because I'm a dude and you haven't had a period in a long time. So we're experts, but it's a little bit of a learning curve to get the cup in and to get it kind of where it sits.
But I know I had a few partners for a while that they really swore by it. And I think a Biscot Mu into it and they were using it. So it was just a matter of let me take this out and then rinse it off. And then, you know, we'll put down the towel because obviously if you're on your period, you put down the towel and you can still fuck and rinse in the shower afterwards.
And you know, but the cups apparently work really well, but there is a if you don't put it in right. If you were to fuck somebody with, have you ever fucked somebody with one? Oh, no, no, they're pretty much new to take it out. OK, I'm just wondering if you could actually feel it, you know, or if I'm sure you feel the texture of it.
But but once again, you're when you're dicks in there, it's not, I mean, some are more sensitive than others, I guess, but it's not like it's like, OK, you know, I'm in the circumference of the vaginal cavity going down to the C5 sense of fat. I am now approaching the cervix. Apparently the cervix is pink and healthy and feeling around. No, but I mean, like, you're in one.
I could feel when a guy hits my cervix and it's a very jarring sensation. And like, yeah, and I'm sure the guy in the other end could be like, hey, I just bumped into something. Ow, what's punching the tip of my dick? Ow, stop that.
It's supposed to be warm and happy unicorns in there. Some chicks like it though. So there's a there's a small percentage of them at the heart. Are you bang that cervix?
And then there's some that'll literally just get nauseous and end of play. And that's what we talk about in potato mayhem. Let's get to a topic. And now for another exciting topic on perverted podcast.
Yes. OK, this one's going to be fun because it's it's a real thing. This is this is a relationship thing and it's something that happens often. And it can really, really, really throw you for a loop.
And this is somebody the poster is observing this. And it's making them kind of reflect on their own relationship. So it's like a telephone, this person, that person, but the point is still there. So hard limits, you don't realize you have Zophret it.
So yesterday, someone posted here about her Dom sleep depriving her as like that's part of their ritual protocol, whatever. And she had to be at work in the morning. So she went to sleep anyway and was stressing because she was going to be punished for it. So sleep deprivation as some sort of training protocol, what?
Who knows what the fuck that is? It's kind of a new one for me. And it could be pretty shady, actually, a little bit of a flag for me, depending on how long they've been in a relationship. If you're starting to sleep to drive someone, this is part of brainwashing.
But it could also be some other whatever. But we don't know. We're reading. My Dom now we're back to the poster who saw this post.
My Dom is also my husband of 30 years. So I realize it's an unlikely problem for me. But it got me thinking nonetheless, I'm wondering now about things that would be a hard limit for me that I would never fucking think to list. For example, it would never have occurred to me to tell someone sleep deprivation is off the table.
And now I'm just sort of going over possibilities. She starts going like, what else could be? Yeah, it could be a limit. You know, that's beyond the normal standard checklist.
You know, don't cut off my arm. Don't cut off my hair or whatever your personal limits are. And now we're getting to the question where she's considering how would you deal with something like that in the moment? Being completely honest, it's easy to sit here, reading someone's post like we are and seeing how totally out of line something was after they've related as a complete story.
Like, oh, it's obviously he's brainwashing her. This is bad. Like I said before, but it may not be that, but it might, but it may not. It could be actually something very positive.
And, you know, she's not working. You know, she's, you know, maybe, you know, she has problems getting to sleep on time and who fucking knows what stuff it could be training. I'm also remembering some dramas a few years back where a sub returned her collar because she didn't like something her dog told her to do. It wasn't my business.
So at the time I just took it at face value and went about my life. Now I'm wondering if she was really some unreasonable brat like she was being portrayed or that the request was like what I'm asking now. Maybe this came out of the left field and she wasn't ready for it. So my question is, and I'll just end it here, how does it work when something is suddenly placed in front of you and you never agreed to it nor explicitly listed it as a limit, which is something that doesn't happen frequently, but it does happen in these dominant submissive dynamics, especially when they're 24 seven.
And especially when things are kind of created as you go, you know, usually a people and I'll say this before I let you start. Usually when a dominant is a very experienced dominant, they've kind of already learned all these pitfalls and a lot of the things they're going to do aren't going to be sprung on you. They're going to be handled in negotiation if this is a positive forward thinking dominant. So but when people are new and they're trying things out, you know, they have a basic negotiation and then all of a sudden, c'mam, now you're in this dynamic and it's like, well, why aren't you obeying me?
So how do we deal with the shit just dropping on the table after a few years? Go. It is it is it is absolutely impossible to negotiate every single limit you have, whether it be a hard limit or a soft limit. You can't think of everything when you're negotiating with somebody, you know, this is, you know, goes back to the people that we've laughed over the years when, you know, you're trying to pick a plane, a dungeon, and you know, you know, Dom walks up the submissive and says, I have no limits and the Dom can go really?
Then I'm going to cut all your hair off and piss on your face and set you on fire. Oh, look, you have a surprise. You have a surprise surprise. Um, you know, when people are negotiating limits, it needs to be the app to me.
It needs to be the abs loops of like, you know, some people, no anal, some people, if they're no kissing or no, no whips, whatever it is. There are certain things that immediately in your head, you're like, nope, never doing it. Never going to do it. Don't try talking and sure.
And then there's obviously that, well, I'm interested in it. Let's play around with that a little bit and I'll decide later, but everything else in between, you know, you're going to have to basically throw up a safe board and say, Hey, you know, we never negotiated no face slapping, but you just slapping the face and I don't like that. Or even discussion afterwards. You can't safeguard against every scenario.
And it's just, even if you agree that you're going to be in 24 seven dynamic, you know, you're going to throw up a safe board and say, Hey, I know we never talked about this, but let's keep this up with table for now. You know, it's, it's even good to practice in real life of your relationship with somebody. There are times I had to do this to my mom on Thursday night, you know, vanilla, right. And it's just like I had stuff going on the house and like I'm supposed to call my mom Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday at nine at nine, nine PM, no matter what she called.
And I basically said, I am having a shit test at night. I don't want to talk about it. Everything's fine with me and Donnis. Everything else is fine.
There's shit going on. I can't talk. I'll talk to you on Sunday. She's like, but no.
I threw up my boundary and I said, not talking to you now. Bye. You can throw up that boundary. And it's just it's obviously great to talk about it after the scene and say, Hey, we never talked about this, but we need to talk about it now.
And if there's going to be any fucking dominance, you're going to go, well, you didn't tell me that was your limit. Fuck off. Right. It doesn't always work.
And it really depends on kind of what it is. You know, and it depends. I mean, there's a certain amount like you were talking about there's this is called risk aware consensual kink because the risks are that you don't always know what's going to happen no matter how much you prepare. And, and so stuff may come up and it is a creative type of sexuality and sensuality or whatever you want to call it.
It's a, there's a lot of new stuff happening because we're trying to keep things interesting and create new things or we're trying to achieve new goals or the dominant is trying to push the submissive into new directions that they think would be good for them or help them. You know, so there's always going to be this creative element of trying things. And sometimes just like the tampon that we talked about earlier, you know, sometimes you don't always remember all the basics. Okay, let's sit down at a table meeting and, you know, let's, let's talk through this.
I'm going to try this. You know, sometimes it's just like, Oh, I'm going to do get excited and you're like, Oh, I think this is going to help. And I think they're in a good headspace today. And I've, I've seen them over these last, you know, however long we've been together.
And I think it's going to go, okay, I'm just going to do this, you know, and start this or make this request. You know, that's all stuff that happens. Usually best case scenario, if you have a new idea, mid relationship of what you want from your submissive or as a submissive, something that you're very curious about or feel that isn't working for you, you're supposed to be able to talk about that. You're supposed to be able to call a time out and say, that's what to say for it is.
But and that's in the moment. But even if it's something where you're starting to discover we've been doing this thing and at first it seemed kind of cool, but now it just seems, it seems very negative for me. And it's just not working. That's where a table meeting comes.
That's when you have these table meetings. And I'm not going to get into these absolute relationships where it's like the Dom says, you're going to do everything I say no matter what I say or you're out. If you are, if that's the type of dynamic that you want, then none of this matters. What we're saying, but none of it matters.
You're either you're either interact. No, it doesn't. In that in that dynamic, you get what you have agreed to. We are talking about a relationship where there is give and take and it is not an absolute situation.
You are dealing with a human and they understand that you're a human because path or there are relationships out there where the submissive wants no control, whether they like it or not. And they are just going to go in and do it until they get sick of it and then leave. And there is no negotiation and there is no safe word and there is those relationships do exist and some people have very successful relationships in that because that's what both people want. But we're talking about the majority of people in kinky dynamics and power exchange dynamics where there is more of a human interaction and element to where if something's not going right, you talk about it, you sit down at the table and a table meeting is basically where you sit down and the dynamic disappears and you are two people talking and you say, this isn't working for me or I want to do this.
How do you feel about this as a person? And then you're able to interact and really explore that without feeling the need to be in the character of your dynamic. Does that make sense? Right.
Right. No, but what I was thinking about is I've known a few people who've been in a master slave relationship where as part of their negotiations, yes, the master has complete control over that slave 24 seven, no matter what we do. However, the ones that I've known who have done it responsibly have always had an outside party that both the dominant or the master of the slave could go to and say, Hey, there's something we need to negotiate about our dynamic. And that's when the two of them will come together with that third party and go, so the slave doesn't want to do this anymore.
And it's kind of like renegotiating it outside of the perimeter. Like an actual mediator kind of. Yeah, people have done that. I mean, that's not that's kind of not normal.
I mean, first, I mean, it's safe, you know, and 99% of the time they're not using it, but in that 1% of the time where, you know, let's say that person's like, I want to do edge play scalpel play. And then like all of a sudden, this person's getting stars all over their body and they're concerned about their well being in the future. And then I'd be like, Hey, you know, you know, I know I told you scalpel plays, okay, but you know, can we do it on someplace where it's not visible? You know, I mean, whatever, whatever the situation is there, there, there sometimes is a safety valve, even if they choose not to use it, just to have an outside person, you know, if there was some really bad concern.
But I know you can check your ego with that, you know, if you're the dominant and you can do it. I mean, once again, nobody's perfect, you know, so, you know, these are all, and I want the listeners to understand that there are a lot of ways to approach something like this. And ultimately, I think we're always going to default back to you deserve to have your feelings and you deserve to have whatever limits you choose to have. If there are consequences to that, and by consequences, I don't mean negative.
I just mean this is the reaction. If it's not a match, it's not a match. And if the Dom says, I want to do this and you say, I don't want to do this, and you can't come to and it's really important to the dominant to do it that way. Or it's really important for you to not do that.
That is absolutely okay. You're now at an impasse and you either find a compromise or you end the dynamic. And that's okay too, because not everyone is perfect for everyone. And even though you've done all this work and you spent these years together, take the wins that you take and understand that sometimes things change mid relationship and our desires, either as the submissive or the dominant, are going to change and things are going to come up.
There are people that are going to change their sexuality or, you know, the people are going to transition to another gender in mid-relate. And these things occur now, then of course, and I'll talk about the prep in a sec. Well, I'll talk about it now. If you, the more you negotiate, the more you talk about things upfront, obviously the more information you have, but you don't always know that upfront.
If you don't know that you have really want to be a woman and you're a man, and you don't know that. And that comes up five years into the relationship. That's going to be a very difficult thing because that's going to end most relationships, 90% of the time. Some people are, you know, they flow with it and they make it work, but other people are like, well, I didn't know, you know, I didn't know.
And it and whether it's that or it's you have some, like I know a relationship where he kind of didn't tell her that he was into age play, like really strongly. And she went through and then years into the relationship. All of a sudden, he's like, yeah, this is actually, more of a thing than I, than I had said. And I thought I could just kind of push it down.
And now they have to deal with this and they did. They dealt with it very well and I won't go into details, but we know the people. Um, but it worked out very well, but it was a big possibility that that would have ended the relationship. And it's not a bummer.
I mean, it's a bummer if the relationship ends, but it does happen. So you can't, because people change and things change and desires change. And in the moment, you have to just say, I'm in this moment now. Is there enough good in the relationship that's worth working with this?
Or is this something that's like, wow, they really want this thing that I really don't want and we're either going to have to find a compromise or that's the end of it. Right. Yeah, it's, it's, you can't, but with something like that. I mean, people grow people change.
I mean, the person you were with five years ago is not the person you were with now. And it's just, it goes back to, you can't think of everything in a dynamic. And if you're not willing to stop and talk about it, if you're not willing to grow and change with it. And yeah, it sucks.
Sometimes where it may get to a point where you're five years in and you're like, this is not what I wanted and you may have to walk away. Yeah. But, and that part sucks. But if you, if you're a willing and communicating partner and you're willing to, you know, this is not that, you know, we've told people for years that this is something that negotiate, communicate, all of that.
Communications always going to be key in this. And if you got a partner or that's going to go, nope, I'm doing it. I'm doing it because you didn't tell me you had a limit. Sorry.
I'm done with you then. Yeah. You know, it's, you know, I said it before, you can't think of every single thing that in a scene, you know, it could even be something where I got triggered by smell once. How the hell am I going to think about?
Well, yeah, you can't put any weird perfumes on a pillow because that might trigger me. I never left field and never would have came in my head to basically go, no, you can't do this. Right. You can't, you can't, you can't think of everything in real life.
What about kink wife? You know, sometimes that tampon just, you know, hides, just hides in there. You're snare. Sometimes you just forget you put it in there and you're like, what is oh, and then all of a sudden your partner's got to yank the mouse's tail and you're like, oh shit.
Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet. We got to deal with this. I'm so glad I don't wear tampons anymore because then every time I pull one out, I'll be thinking and going, Oh, the ladies that listen, you're welcome. These fire cracks in that mouse play.
You could you could say that mouse play. You could you could that's your pet play. Oh, I keep a mouse in my vagina. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, but what if one of them is a mouth?
What if one of them is a cat and like, Oh, that'd be an interesting scene. Put a tampon in and you start batting the string around like. Oh, yes. Let's go to the weird world.
I love it. Oh, come on. It's my burning podcast. That's what we're doing here.
That's what we're doing. Well, I mean, I hope we impressed upon our lovely listeners that things get messy and you just have to talk about it. And if you know, don't be afraid. I mean, you can be afraid, but if you go into a relationship and you know, you have a lot of secrets that are very passionate to you and you enter into a committed relationship without telling your partner what's going to probably come down the road, then that's a party fell.
That's a party fell. You really, I know you want to impress somebody and you feel they may not like this part of you, but if it's really, it's like with kink, with your, you know, your sexuality, with any of those things, don't lie to yourself because it's going to come out eventually, if it's something that's really strong in you, and that's going to really go bad if you're five, six years into a relationship and you're like, by the way, this is super important to me and it's just going to make it really messy. So well, even going back to the original idea real quick about like, it sounds like this poster was spiraling about. I think about this.
I don't think about that. Don't spiral. Please, you know, just just throw a hand and go, Hey, I'm spiraling. Could we, you know, talk, please?
Thank you. I like it. I like a great topic, though, and it is something that you're going to deal with in every relationship and not even as you've discovered, not even with kink in your entire life and the more that you just try to be present with your partner, see the good in each other and have that contact and communication. You know, it's going to work out how it works out, but you deserve your limits and you deserve to speak up for yourself.
Uncle Creepy lurks around your bedroom, one serving his clutch. He penetrates the places where your mama said that good girls shouldn't touch. Do you think your butthole is quite late? This fucking podcast.
Why can't this shit just work when we press play? Fucking podcast. Good line. Good line.
Bravo. Yes. God damn. I wish people would understand how much we suffer for this.
This is literally this has just been 40 minutes of fucking crazy. Just a hammer on the fucking shit. Why is everything I do so fucking committed. That's just going to nine years.
Nine fucking years. It'll be worth it at the end. This is a close fucking thing, but we're here. We did here.
It seems to be working. We're on. Oh my God. Thank you so much for sticking with this, Uncle Creepy, because because let me tell you something, if anything in this world lacks hygiene, it's fucking Zencaster.
Yeah. Anything that's called foreshadowing, by the way. Oh, yeah. Little foreshadowing, but enough of our woes.
We are here. Oh, oh, yeah. You on your game today. Dude, I brought it.
I'm bringing I'm freshly drained. I am quite prepared for today. I spent the night at spikes last night. Oh, yeah.
She's been gone a while. So she really she brought her a game and she was frisky. She yeah, we played video games for four and a half hours. And she's like, you know what?
We're going to bang and I was like, yeah, I'm fucking yes. Let's go. And then we did. And then you did.
You know the fucked up part of me as a dude as an old school fucking dude. I'm like, what game were you playing? Actually, it was a quite fun game called Kingdom to Crowns. Basically what you do.
I don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to get back to the fucking game. Was there anal? What's not working on it?
She's you know, here's the problem, boogie. And I want to I'm going to switch back into the woes again, because I know you don't know this, but I have a giant hog. And when women see this, they're like, that's not going in my ass. I only had one woman who's like, I want that in my ass, but it is the bane of my existence.
And sort of like, absolutely not. So it's really a horrible problem to have. It's the worst. It's the worst.
It's not it's not a big congratulations on Big Hog. Thank you. And and but yeah, there are, you know, for the guys that that we all dream of having the big hog. And you don't understand that there are definitely some women that are a pro big hog that are like super big hog.
But depending on the bigness of the hog, it just can't fit in the pen. No, they don't. It's just doesn't go in the shoot, you know, you know, when they're running down that shoot, the fucking cook that sausage. You know, I'm just trying to find more.
More euphemisms. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those called euphemisms are metaphors.
I don't care. Boogie. Yeah, what do you care? You got a big dick.
Fuck off. It's not big. It's enough. It's big enough.
Yeah, that's the that's the important thing that we have. Well, goddamn it. Good on no under checks like you. I never figure out what it was.
I was funny. Yeah, I make a laugh and they're like, Oh, dear God, what is that? Cute or anything. He's not like me.
My mom says I'm handsome. That's sweet. My mom never said that. But she's dead.
Thank God. If there was a God to thank, I would thank God. But that's not what's important right now. What's important is your big hog went into a spot.
And and everyone was happy and there was joy. It was joy. I clapped. I clapped several times.
Did you come by having sex? Because I've done that before. Like I retired. Have you ever just done a total?
No, not that bad, but I've gotten to the point where I'm just like, Jesus, what did you just do to me? Oh, and then you just give us some battering when you're on your back and you're sweating. You're like, very good. Very good job.
It's quite excellent. Good. You may now bathe yourself. You've so you had some instance in a festival or something.
You were. Oh, yes. So we went to Galaxy con a while back. Okay.
Two weeks ago, end of July somewhere around there. And gals cons like Comic Con for those who don't know on the East Coast. It's a smaller, not as big, but it's fun because, you know, we get tickets, you know, we get special passes and stuff. So we could do all the shit without worrying about much, especially money.
And, you know, I know Pat girl talked about it, but we saw weird out, which was another benefit of being in the car. That was pretty cool. And I know she talked about that too. So that was funny because I was like, yeah, I was like, we're going to the same show and then she's like, no, fuck bag.
We're going to one of two different cities. So what was there? So was there lots of hot chicks? Yeah.
So a lot of things are different about East and West Coast. The East Coast does have very hot women. And and hot dudes do. I'll admit it because I was there.
And the temperature in that fucking city was triple digits. I think it was like the lowest it got during the daytime was 96 to god damn greased. And the thing about the difference between East and West Coast is the East Coast has this thing called fucking humidity. And it's basically just hot water lingering in the air and it's six to your body and you cannot go back.
Yes. So with that, the sense that we're in the Comic Con thoroughfare were interesting. And I mentioned this, but some part of me just was like, what the fuck is that? That is intoxicating.
I need that. What is this sent? And I just started like fucking searching and like, I caught myself and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Like you're off the chain and like, you know, like when you get like a pre boner, right?
And like everything's like, what's going on? What are we doing? You know, and I'm staring at my penis and it's like, what is it? What do you smell?
What do you what is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?
Let's go get it. It's taking an injury. Well, that's that's very awkward. I mean, it's a big beach.
Yeah. And it's all right. Yeah. And so I get it.
Sorry. Yeah. It'll work. See, the sense that some women put off, I guess, the pheromones or whatnot, just hit the right angle.
And I was just there in the zone, like, I need to find this. I need to fucking, I don't know what it is. But you know, a lot of the the costumes and the cosplays and stuff were super hot. There's a lot of great enemies that are out with like hot wolf chicks and like sexy demons and all this other shit.
And they're just wandering around looking super hot and everybody's like having fun and everything. So it was super high. But the the scent thing was well, I mean, this kind of segues exactly into our topic today that we're on since and disasters and things going well. And so because it's interesting that you talked about that arousal with sense because there are a lot of people who are very aroused by sense who like things to be dirty and sweaty and hot and even funky.
And it goes all the way, you know, it goes all the way from like, God damn to just like that little bit of a musky scent when it's like kind of erotic and you smell someone's pussy. You know, and it's just like, you know, or even just that like, just slight after period kind of sense, you know, or like a natural pheromones. Like, yeah, like a natural kind of thing. And I mean, I have it too, because we all have it, you know, because like, you know, the partners will come up and be like, oh, you smell menly.
Oh, that's just like, oh, yeah, that's just me not washing my ass. See, I am the exact opposite of all of this. Oh. And that's what's going to make this sick.
I do not like any smells. I don't like body fluids. I fucking hate all of it. I'm a shower clean robot.
I, I get, but I, I'm a hypersensitive smell with the amount of the battery you do. Everything is amped to the umpteenth level. So when people like in the middle of sex and stuff like that, those are natural, you know, that's whatever. But yeah, I'm not sticking my nose in the ass going woof.
Oh, yeah. Fuck. I'm a woof, woof boy, you know. Um, so, but I understand that my case is because there's so much sensitivity.
All smells fuck with me. Okay. And sounds and lights and everything. I'm just hyper fucking.
I'm just sensitive to all stimulation, you know, okay. So, uh, but this post that we're going to jump into, I think might go a little bit into the extreme and open some good discussion for this said topic, submissive piss in my bathtub. Wonderful. So a young couple, I female, uh, I guess the dub, the, the dub, the dom.
And, uh, you know, with her young submissive male, uh, the male comes over for a play date. I hadn't played with this sub before, but we had been talking for a bit and we were both fairly excited to play. When I met him downstairs, the first thing I noticed was sort of a sweaty smell like he'd been working out and just kind of sat in it, whatever, not the biggest deal, except when we got to my apartment, there was this sort of aura of funk around him, which right there, my fucking all of my four heads are cringing and stuff. I went on with the play, go champion.
Went on with the play. Bad idea. You're going to hear a lot of these conundrums in this, from this, from this topic. He was blindfolded.
I pulled off his brief stain. No, just one big one. This is a big shit stain right there in his tidy whities. Yeah.
I was in genuine shock and disgust, which is normal. Sure. Does that, I think it's an over action, but I kept playing champion. Still, okay.
We're still going. Still going. Okay. Okay.
He ends up spending the night, something we had talked about. I wake up around six and he's already dressed and putting on his shoes so he can leave her work. We exchange goodbyes. I go back to bed, wake up later in the day, probably use the bathroom twice before noticing the smell and then a yellow splatter on the edge of my tub and a bigger splatter pool of yellow in the actual bathtub.
After losing my mind and finding it again. I shoot him a text and asked him if he pissed in my tub and he says, yeah, you sorry, didn't want to wake me up with the sound of flushing the toilet. It's been a few days, but I'm still in shock. The piss wouldn't even be that bad if there hadn't been other signs of general lack of good hygiene.
I feel this constitutes not playing with him anymore, but the play itself wasn't bad. Okay. I'm just in a loss in general and want to know what others think or what they would do in my position. Yeah.
Well, I know yours. I mean, I have a different position. Now, now I have my position, which is pretty fucking absolute, but I have to look at this from people that are normal, that have normal senses of smell in normal, whatever, and that she likes the guy. Obviously thinking skills.
Yeah. So this objective. Thank you. This is objective critical thinking skills.
So I will let you venture into fucking man raised by wolves fucking topic. Yeah. So I've had this problem with my first partner. She was a stinky girl.
And I was not very up to snuff with what a normal smell was. Right. I learned later that that wasn't what a normal smell was normal smell was not to put anything on blast. She's an ex-wife and a fucking eater, but she's had some hygiene issues.
Yeah. And it turned me off. There was a lot of times where I'm like, I can't, I can't do this unless you're ready to shower. And she hated me for it, but whatever.
In this situation, I want to applaud her for the, for the, the go get them attitude right and sticking with it. But I think maybe there should be an. I also wanted to add that she is younger. Right.
Since 19 and seven is 21. So she might not also be up to realizing what is a. What's acceptable and what not? Yeah.
Yeah, not even acceptable. But I mean, she seems pretty on top of the fact that what she did smell was kind of disgusting, but she just pushed through it. Yeah. And you know, it's, it's not a bad thing to self advocate and say, Hey, you were working out cool.
Let's, we're going to get hot and heavy. I want you to be at a base level, you know, go rinse off. Use my shower. And, and I think that's, that's step one.
Right. Step two, pissing in the tub. I got to say, do it. I do it.
I piss in my shower all the time, especially when it's like late at night. And I don't want to turn on the light to aim, you know, and I don't want to fucking piss all over my toilet. Really? Oh, yeah, dude.
Dude, it's good times. I've eaten the shower since forever and just. But here's the thing. I run the water.