44. Dating to People Please: Why it Hurts Even if You Didn’t Like Them

Episode 44Welcome to the Healing Pod! It was really a struggle behind the scenes for us to actually get this one together. So we just literally picked a reddit story and decided to talk off of that. It’s getting us back into the flow at least, promise for next one we will be a little more present!The story is simple. A girl falls for guys she doesn’t like hoping for the fairy tale to just be handed to her and surprise! It ends in heart break despite the protections in place.We dig into some of the people pleasing, attachment patterns, pity relationships, and avoidant tendencies that go into trying to make a fairy tale movie out of half a script. It’s a little more rambling and looser, but we go through what we notice and some ideas of what’s behind it and how to take another step from that point. Bonus moments of talking about open relationships, Disney princesses, and Jess’s poor rooster having a bad day.Comp-het is Compulsory Heterosexuality in case anyone wondered. It’s where the assumption is that you’re straight so you just lean into it and don’t quite realize that the lack of response you have is due to a lack of orientation and not to some flaw or lack of effort. Spoiler alert: No one is good at dating in high school. It’s practice, we know nothing, we are learning. It’s supposed to be messy. I still don’t like grilled cheese. But I do love my wife. Please do come to couple’s therapy to build skills when you notice there’s an issue, not as a last ditch attempt when someone is checked out. You need to still have grace for each other and want things to get better. If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in the podcast, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6As always, thank you to the wonderful Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. And thank you to Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod