EPISODE · Jul 6, 2026 · 1H 2M
449: Torn: A Book Written to Help Your Devout Loved One Understand You
from Latter Day Struggles · host Valerie Hamaker
Send us a Positive Review!Series Title: Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them [Part 1 of 3]In this three part series, Valerie is joined by Jeff Strong- friend, colleague, and author of the best-selling book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them. In this opening episode, Jeff shares his personal experience as an LDS bishop and father at a crisis point in time when his missionary son disclosed that he was coming home and leaving the LDS church. In this moment, Jeff felt that everything was falling apart & in his own valley of the shadow, he could not meet his son where he was in his own valley of the shadow. The following 13 years comprising hundreds of interviews with disaffiliating Latter-day Saints & heartfelt soul-searching about the true meaning of faith culminates in this book: a Love Letter to the Devout Latter-day Saint who has a loved one who has left the faith. Please listen to this series & consider reading than then gifting Jeff's book to one of your loved ones who does not understand your spiritual journey. Together we can heal our community and build bridges of understanding & belonging. no matter where we are on the spectrum of faith.Jeff's book Torn linked HERE.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Introductions02:07 Why Jeff Wrote Torn02:56 Faith Crisis Sparks Research06:16 Years of Writing and Rewrites07:32 Who the Book Is For11:07 Upstream vs Downstream Trauma13:48 A Devout Reader’s Reaction17:06 Mixed Faith Marriage Pain Point20:24 Disaffiliation Numbers and Studies28:36 Counter Narratives on Growth29:52 Growth vs Activity Metrics32:07 Convert Baptisms and Disaffiliation33:04 Two Truths in Church Life35:59 Four Waves Overview38:11 Why Waves Feel Sequential40:50 Upstream vs Downstream Pushback43:54 Stages of Faith Transition47:37 Belonging Over Belief51:31 Success Stories of Inclusion55:58 Bar Mitzvah Closing Story58:27 Wrap Up and Next EpisodeSupport the showStories of Healing: Live Event July 30th in SLCSupport the showListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Annual Access $89Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsGift a ScholarshipDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website
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Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them [Part 1 of 3] In this three part series, Valerie is joined by Jeff Strong- friend, colleague, and author of the best-selling book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them. In this opening episode, Jeff shares his personal experience as an LDS bishop and father at a crisis point in time when his missionary son disclosed that he was ...
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449: Torn: A Book Written to Help Your Devout Loved One Understand You
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