#45 - Oksana Doesn't Do Silver

This is the two girls talking podcast. It's not even where you're supposed to say. Hi, Amanda. Hi, Abigail.

How are you? I'm doing pretty good. I'm having some wine that's actually, like, pretty good for the price. Tell me all about this $2 wine.

So it was $7? Is that like a Slytherin $7? I don't remember how much it costs. Was that like in snake language?

Am I somehow able to understand it? Yes. It looks like it's wine from Target. Yeah, so the label is the Naked Grape, which is a budget label.

That's why I said it was pretty good. But the price wasn't like $2 or anything. But this is their mall back, which I never had before. So the Naked Grape mall back is good.

I like it. And because I'm having it, I feel good about the world. Because I like to smoke it. I hate the wine.

Yeah, a lot of people do. In fact, here's a story for you. So several friends of mine are newly pregnant. Some of them so newly pregnant, they haven't announced it yet.

And it's not me, by the way. Is it Kate? Is Kate pregnant? No, Kate's not pregnant.

Maybe she is. I don't know. I don't think so. She's not one of the people you're at.

No, she's not one of the people that I'm talking about. So every day I want to ask her, hey, Kate, are you pregnant yet? Eh, eh, eh. But she has not communicated it any way that she's trying to get pregnant.

So I feel like I can't, like, I mean, in general, it's an inappropriate question to ask. But it's especially inappropriate if no one has stated the intention. So I'm just going to put an author on the podcast. Oh, God, rude.

So these other friends of mine who are pregnant had mentioned it sometime in the past six months that they were going to start trying or something like that. So I remember that, of course. And I was at various different gatherings with them in recent times. And both of them refused wine, which I instantly knew that meant that they were pregnant, essentially.

And asked both of them very rudely. I was like, so, any luck with your project, essentially? And they were like, don't look at me. And I was like, ah-ha, yes.

Which is like, here's the thing. Amanda, if I were secretly pregnant, which, I mean, is a confusing world to imagine anyway, but let's say you and I are like meeting up in person, which we don't do very often. And I'm secretly pregnant. Mm-hmm.

And I would like to maintain that secret. Uh-huh. Obviously, I think I would have already told you. Right, so you can see where I'm going with this as well.

Yeah, exactly. I would order a drink. Yes, and then not drink it. Yeah, uh-huh.

Because I would be like, I would be like, when I get some hot tea, and also like a shot of whiskey or whatever. And I could be like, I have a cold or whatever. Like, I would be so easy to craft a story and have a fake drink and whatever. It'd be so easy.

And here's the thing. I was like, of course, I would know. Put yourself a glass of wine, put yourself a glass of wine, and just hold it. No one is going to watch you drink it.

No one is going to be like, whoa, you didn't finish your wine. It's not going to cross anyone's mind. Especially on a group setting. Especially on a group setting.

If it's one on one, you know I'm going to catch anyone doing anything. Sure. But like, anything weird. Yeah, anything weird.

I'll be like, well, especially if I want to one of my close friends. Sure. Because I will definitely be drunk. I'll be like, why are you drunk?

Why are you still on your first drink? More tender. But a group setting? No, totally.

Scared. Yeah, so I wanted to write a medium post, literally like, how to hide your pregnancy from everyone you know, you fucking alcoholics, my friends. Also, I was like, whoa, that's pretty crazy that I can instantly tell who's pregnant from anybody being like, none for me, thanks. Because they're, you know, loving alcohol.

Right. But yeah, I just like, if you love alcohol, like I do, you understand that people know it. And you talk about it in a way that normalizes it. So no, like I talk about it all the time so that people don't think that I am like unaware of how much I drink.

Or like, more specifically, how much I drink in order to have a conversation with another person. Yeah. So anyway, I've been mulling over like, how to hide your pregnancy for a good six months from now. I keep coming up with such good lies in my head.

Oh yeah, no. Because that's all my brain ever does. My brain is always like, what lies can I come up with? I know.

It really bothers me sometimes when I think about it, about what a good liar I can be when I really want to. And it's a problem, I feel, to be so deceptive. Well, in like a few discussions. Speaking of deception, I have a topic for you, which I don't know if we talked about it if we have.

Let me know. Tanya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan, thoughts go. There was some drama when we were children. Yes.

So I feel like having like a obsession about it or significant interest in an old rivalry is a bit of like a gross hipster thing to do. Because unless you can like, unless you were active in it at the time. OK. I ask this because there's a new movie coming out that everyone is really excited about called I, Tanya.

Is it a Docker of Nondock? No. OK. It's Margot Robbie, please.

Tanya Harding and it. I've heard of that person. Yeah, she was Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad. She was in Wolf of Wall Street.

She was a very popular, very, oh, she was in Whiskey Tango Fox. She's a very popular, very beautiful Australian. Oh, Whiskey Tango, Fango, Socks, Front. It's one of the movies that came out in the last five years and I was like, oh, this seems interesting.

Tina Fey was in it. Yes, she was. And Jacob Clifton really liked it without thinking he was going to like it. So just a little, every time I think about that movie, I think about how Jacob liked it.

And he didn't think he was going to like it. So yes. Well, so I was very excited because one time, I mean, I, again, was very, I wouldn't all happen. So I don't really have any memories of it at the time.

But I sort of remember them talking about it. And I remember being tertially. I don't know what the word is, tertially interested, because I really like figure skating and because we did figure skating when we were little. I was not very good and no one paid for me to become better.

That is basically how I think about everything in my childhood. Yep. I learned how to skate forward pretty fast, like in circles. But I was not like.

Listen to your like, listen to your pride and your child like skills as though, as though the Olympics were stolen from you. I would, the way I picked up going forward, I mean, if only, if only. Well, one of our good friends or my sister's good friends was like practiced every day and went to competitions and was like a fancy ice-skater girl. And so, you know, everybody had the dream.

Yeah, no, I had a friend in seventh grade who like went to the Olympics. Right. And then by the way, never like didn't see her for like seven or eight years. And then she went to Biola.

Oh, weird. Which is super weird because I didn't know anyone at Biola at all because I came from a faraway land. Yeah. And she was there.

That's really weird. Yeah. And she was still skating. Good for her.

Yeah. So we went, we went ice skating a lot, probably like once a month in general, maybe once every other month just in life. But yeah, lessons were short lived, I will say. Anyway, so I was sort of sure, surely, I don't know why I keep choosing that word because I can't say it, but sort of remotely interested in the situation.

I saw the ESPN 30 for 30 about the whole squabble and learned everything you ever want to know because those documentaries are extremely detailed. And then this movie was coming out, everybody was very excited. And I think they really faithfully recreate all of it, except that I still firmly believe that Amy Adams is the only person that looks like Tanya Harding. No one else looks like Tanya Harding.

And so it's, and Michelle Monahan should have been Nancy Kerrigan. And I just don't understand how anyone could think there's any other casting possibilities, except for the fact that both of them are too old technically to be the ages that people were at the time, which is like 22. I'm glad to see that we're continuing to kick slicks into the next episode. I told you.

I told you that all three of my topics had to do with movies. Can I tell you something about ice skating? Sure, please. The Olympics and ice skating obsession was a large part of my childhood.

And I remember. So yes, what's her name? So I mean, I loved Kristi Yamaguchi. She's a California local.

That's right. We've we've driven you and I have driven past her skating rink. Yes. And then Kristi Yamaguchi skating rink.

Yes. Well, and that's where my friend Bonnie from the, you know, meta, sorry, gonna buy a list that she was at that same rink. But there was another girl who was very good, but she was from another cut. She was from somewhere.

I'm like, no, it was like Katrina, Katrina to it. Is that a thing? Oh, maybe. Let me look.

Look up who look up. Can you look up those Olympics? It'd be like 1992, somewhere. 94 Lila Hammer was the.

Yes, there we go. So who look up like the top skaters from 94 Lila Hammer? Let's deep dive into my past. My sister Jane is named after, um, is named after the figure skaters Jane Torville or Torval and Dean.

I don't know. Jane Dean maybe. Like the seventies or something. Something like that.

Oxana Bayoule won the gold medal. That year? Yeah. Where?

Let me see who duet is. Katarina Witt. Yes, you're right. German.

She was at 94. Do you want me to send you the YouTube video of her skating? No. I don't want to watch it.

I'll tell you what happens during it. Oh, it won't load, of course. So anyway, this is a little. Oh, it's Jennifer Garner, Hawking Capital One at me.

She does. She hawks so good that girl. She is all about that scam money and I'm into it. She's using her special mom voice.

I love her mom voice. Sexy, smart, Jennifer Garner. Hands down. I feel like I can't make that joke because it's called back to another episode.

It is. I really want to watch this video now. So I'm just wondering what I'm doing instead of watching it. I'm dragging the cursor along the timeline.

To get a total of for you? No, just so I can see the screenshots of what happens at every second. So it's kind of like watching it, but it's without actually having to watch it. So it's just going really fast.

She's doing great. I mean, it's four already. Yep. It looks like she almost fell.

I mean, she did great. Look at her. So at the playground at school during recess, we would play pretend. And this is like how I remember all of elementary school is like always playing pretend on the playground at recess and it buried what you would play pretend.

But you would like basically, it was basically reenactment of something from real life or something from movie. So we did a lot of like Disney movies. There was a ton of Beauty and the Beast, which I always felt a little like Beauty and the Beast wasn't like, so for some reason didn't speak to my heart the way other people. So I was a little bit on the outside.

I don't, I'm not sure if it's like, I hadn't seen it. I'm not sure. There was a ton of Beauty and the Beast, but Olympics was like my jam. I was like, let's play pretend Olympics.

So we did a ton of ice skating pretend Olympics and we would all decide who got to be witch girl. And then we would just like, so the playground was in like, like, like the, it had like cedar bark chips, right? Like that was like, you know, so if you fall off, you fall into the bark chips. So that was our skating rink.

So we would like mine just skating all the way around. Yeah. And I always wanted to be cattering into it. Well, it's just cattering a wit.

You're hero. Not to it. Not to it at all. You would like some facts about your hero?

Katarina Witt. Sure. She went to Olympic gold medals first in 1984 and then in 1988 at Calgary. She did not win a little hammer because she was an old lady.

She was probably at least almost 30 at that point. Way too old to be doing anything like that. Well, yeah, that was her third Olympics. Mm hmm.

She had a cameo in Jerry Maguire. Now I'm listening. Tell me more. Yeah, because she was so hot right then.

Oh, she came in seventh in the 94 Olympics. Oh, yikes. Yeah. So how it is where like NBC chooses like three people they're going to tell you about and like everyone else doesn't matter no matter like even if they get third place.

Sure. They're like we didn't put the package together for this. So exactly. They're like other research indicated else wise.

So good like everyone. So she and Sonia Henny are the only two skaters to win six consecutive gold medals at the European like version of the next actually. The regular the real thing. So she's like one of the most accomplished skaters in all of history because of that.

That's my girl. Yeah. I wonder why I liked her. You know what I remember.

I remember like it's very beautiful. I remember liking her name. Oh, Katarina. Yeah.

Katarina Witt. I was always changing my name like wanting new. Looks like she has. Oh, I bet you were.

Hannah was a big one for a while. Really? Yeah. And then Christine.

Like I would like to be all the time and say my name was different. Actually, I did that in high school. We picked new names. We were Abigail and Maria.

I didn't know you used my name. I did. But that was before I knew you. I know, but still you never told me.

I forgot all about it until just now we're talking about making up fake names. I don't know why we did that. I think it was at Starbucks or something we thought we were very clever. It's fun.

And then I asked her for Monica. It is. I made her be Kristin, and I was Kristian, and we told everyone we were twins. Oh, my God.

We traveled with her grandparents. So I met her when I was very young, like five years old, I think. Cause her grandparents looked across the street from me. And they were like, you were the same age as our granddaughter.

We want you to be friends with her. So she has more reasons to visit us. And it worked. It totally worked.

Like we were like, we were best friends for a very long time. We hung out all the time. Like every time she could visit, I would hang out. And her grandparents took me on so many trips and like took me to so many cool things.

grandparents were like always live far away and like I wasn't close to them so it really was like a really like cool grandparent experience and like I loved it it was just I mean we had so I called her grandma three and she had like we had scrapbooks and there was a scrapbooking room at their house and she would get pictures printed from all of our adventures and then like once a month was like scrapbooking time and like we'd go into scrapbooking room and she would have all the pictures from our adventures and we'd like sit there with our scrapbooks and like put them all in and like write our stories and of course I'd be like excuse me while I write like three pages on our trip to Marshall fields for Christmas this is like so sweet sad of course and well and she like so and I would send her thank you notes right because my parents were like they're gonna thank you know so they always had me right thank you notes and then Grandma three would always save the thank you notes for me to put into scrapbook so like it's very sweet yeah and they like and they like get more and more formal as I like it more like a show moe where I'm just like sure I'm like I learned how to like it's that great I learned how to write a letter at school so now I'm like typing it up doing a thing and like using like sir and madam you know so yes and then at my high school graduation Grandma three was like here is like she gave me my scrapbook she was hanging on to that because you know children can't trust it but anything and we would just make them at her house and then she like gave it to me and so I actually have it like of course I've saved yeah of course no something like you could never get rid of that that's like it's like so perfect but anyway how did I start talking about them Veronica what was I say oh but at one point I don't know what yeah so like Veronica and I like for 20 years like they're 15 years like spent a lot of time together and I like a rope to her into this twin fantasy that I've always had because as you might have heard I'm obsessed with twins yeah we were in like second grade and I was like we're twins now sorry about your past identity you're my twin sister Kristen because Grand 3 would get us matching clothes so I was like oh my god I was like I was like it's all happening so Grandma 3 also wanted twins no Grandma 3 was like it's so cute my granddaughters are matching you know like a grandma and I was like granddaughters yes also we're twins now also and like Veronica's also we have matching names because our parents are psychopaths well so Veronica's last name was different than Grandma 3's last name because of like you know how sometimes whatever yeah and my last name is obviously different because I was related to none of them and so I would be kind of a thing yeah I was like so I made up I was like I made up our first names Kristen and Christine and then we use Grandma 3's last name and I would sign us up first up with their address in those names and like one time I remember we would go to like they had a lake house from Wisconsin which is like what everyone does in Chicago and we would go to Lake House for like two weeks in the summer and I remember one time we like got M&M's at the you know like gas station or whatever was a big deal you know going in and getting a tree in the gas station and there was a peanut M&M that didn't have peanut in it I called the number on the package this is who I was as a fourth grader just you know obviously oh no I literally someone was like complaining about something they ate the other day and I was like well you can contact the company and let them know about it and they were like well who has time to do that and I was like well just tell me what you're complaining is all right in for you I don't care I love contacting companies about horseshit like oh this cheeto isn't shaped correctly yeah so I called the number I was like can I use the phone to call and so I like made a call like a grown up I called the number and it was like this lovely person at the M&M hotline and I was like it's a wrench for you and I'm so sorry you had to suffer through eating M&M that didn't have a peanut and it's not what you purchased we're gonna try and do better and I'm gonna burn the factory down and start over now so I explained what had happened and she was like we will get some gift certificates in the mail to you right away I know and she sent them and I remember at the time the bag of peanuts I cost like 69 cents right P&M names yep maybe even less I had her send them to you know Kristen and Christine we each we each got them she was like what's your sister's name all you know so nice I'll get you new packages and like that was the first time I suffered ever affected by this industry wide breakdown of our system will be issued every twin who had to eat any of this drivel will be given new candy immediately and that was the first time I'd use like the names and addresses and like an official setting like on record were you concerned at all that I was like I felt like I was getting away with a lie which like always made me on the one hand like hi as fuck hi as fuck and also like oh shit is this how we're gonna get in trouble but no we didn't get in trouble we got free like we got oh this is why I mentioned the price the coupon we got was for like a dollar each and I was like oh we can get three bags with these coupons anyway from that point forward I was like signing us up for like every like sweepstakes like I was like these are names this is our address and everyone else in the family was like a little hesitant but also you know loved me for who I was a weird girl do what she wants you know not the psycho child from next door is trying to steal our identities do what she wants she's perfectly harvest probably but yeah that was that was stripped down every week I read a web round of a lot of things including like corporate responsibility when it comes to packaging and production of M&M's chill fourth graders trying to steal the identities and it's like what is that single white female that are family every time I get a bag of peanut M&M's the best candy anytime I get a bag and I get a bit of M&M without the peanut in it I'm like oh I bet I could call and I could still get a coupon Kristi and three won't stand for this the other topic I had for you so I went to go see this movie that's amazing and it was set in maybe one of the greatest time periods of all which was 1984 little hammer no it was the movie called Lady Bird and it was set in Sacramento in 2002 2003 and it's the year I moved to California or back to California yes and I think you would really like it it's a coming of age story and it's directed by Greta Gerwig it's amazing it's so great and there's like really significant moments with Dave Matthews band songs etcetera need I say more so 2002 I love it no it's perfect like the soundtrack the vibes the clothes all the cars all of it is really good I catch this flick it just came out in theaters and it had the highest per theater average of any film directed by a woman ever essentially thirty thousand dollars dollars per theater yeah the highest average which is like all the ladies are getting out there or I mean everybody's getting out there yeah for this movie but anyway so it got me thinking and I was like man I love this time period so much like they go see an emo band like play at a little coffee shop or something and I was like that's what I was doing then you know like it was it was great it's like the movies we imagine we're making yes exactly dude that was how I felt about it I was like she's making a movie about my high school years it's perfect yeah I have a bad habit which I'm sure like you resonate with entirely like even when I was at the Hoover Dam today I was like in my memoir like what I like I'll like I'll barely write about the Hoover Dam right like but it'll be like because it reminded me of like like the field trip to the you know Edison plant in on like Michigan that I went to my field trip in the fourth grade and it reminds me of this thing that happened right on the other side because the time zone changed blah blah blah and I like sit there and I'm like like taking in the view and like thinking about like how it's just gonna pull everything together in my memoir yeah when you say bad habit do you mean only activity is daily life is constructing everything you're experiencing into part of the timeline you're like I don't know is like the beginning part or is this like the middle part into content that everyone will love and consume oh yeah like every moment of my life is essentially just fodder for great art yet to be created as you know and also everyone else I know's life by the way I was hanging out with three people the other day who I never met before which is you know quite a lot for me and also I was totally sober so you know I was like I was like I can do the thing I can do the thing but there was also a dog there which was like very helpful yeah I was like I was like Max and I we have a special bond and I need to just hang out with the dog yeah and Max was like very very very friendly which I you know was excited about and his owners kept like kind of apologizing and being like at one point they were like sorry Max's in attention like Max like could never get enough attention like he's obsessed with attention so like he's never gonna stop like coming up to you now that he like knows you're gonna give him attention I was like I was like oh Max I totally get you mm-hmm and one of the people in the group was like surprised by that it was like really and she definitely is like the sort of person that like wants to have like long-view conversations like you and then she like repeated this statement as if like she was like you like want attention all the time you're like what's the point of being alive I'm confused what are you saying exactly no one asks me to like prove it like yes I don't know why I would say I'd be like I'm like well I'm doing part of my stand-up routine to make people like me so did that joke not land I'm confused like talking to a dog because it's an easy audience because the dog will give me the attention I need without having to be vulnerable with other people like do I need to break down to you the ways in which I need validation from anything with a heartbeat anyway go on I don't even know if I was talking great what's happening you were talking about lady though you said it was coming a page coming a page let me talk about my age let me talk about my life settle down it's time for my memoir right so anyway so I was gonna ask you if you could set a movie of your life any year for your memoir memoir movie what year would you want to have or like what year in general would you like to see in a movie that maybe you don't feel like you see very often or what you feel like is a good year yeah no I'm a terrible co-host of chicks licks because you like talk about like what era would you want to movie set in and that's like the first time I've even thought about that thing ever like I don't sit around thinking about it I'm like I do think like when I watch a movie when I watch a movie and I see it in a certain era I'm like oh it is like it is great to watch this era but when I think about my own story I don't think about it setting up a particular like thing which is why I love the movie a lot like love with Ashton Kutcher because there's so many areas to enjoy them all so that's how mine would be I would it would be it would be like it would totally get it yes no we would get 94 little hammer we would get you know Eminem phone call of Upper Lake Michigan we get we get so like hardcore like no the Eminem phone call was probably like 95 like I was still pretty young but we can get close to the little hammer world we were all living in we could get like 2001 where I'm like at life fest the Christian music festival in Wisconsin can't believe we've never talked about Christian music festivals because they were such a huge part of high school life will death definitely in my memoir movie docu whatever it is that we're making about my life I'm into it I'm on board where do I sign I feel like we should save it for another conversation because I feel like there's so much we could talk about like weird Christian stuff and that's why sure sure sure yeah no yeah we can talk about that another time but yeah I can't pick like a certain year no it would be all over it'd be like it'd be like and I don't know what the thread would be that would tie it together yeah I guess I maybe threw it off by saying like your story I was just so I was just so I was just so I was just so delighted to see a movie set in that time period and I hadn't really thought about that you know and you have I feel like you probably would think about it so much no no I mean it it's really hard for me to decide what's interesting about that time sometimes and so I was telling Bethany weird in a story the other day and she was like this is insane you have to talk about like you're basically being 15 years old like the story is so crazy like you should be right about this and I was like oh this is just like one normal thing that happened in a chain of many normal things to her it was like such an interesting story and so it's hard for me to tell like what's interesting sometimes I mean you're a good storyteller that's like a that's like a widely held belief oh my one saying like you've like I feel like Oxana Bayoule at the 1994 little hammer Olympics doing free skate right now skating in that gold medal just skating like slice like people like I don't I don't know if anyone says anything as like dramatic as Bethany giving a crown which is like the ultimate gold medal truly I think in general people will like tell me like oh like you have such good stories or like that sort of thing and I'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like the way I'm telling them I think most people in their memories have really interesting things but they just don't like vomit them on to other people in the dramatic way that like say you or I might or how I might like try to tie together like the field trip I took to Edison Plaraplet when I was a third-grade to the Hoover Dan to like my breakup to whatever like you know sure like a true memoirist Mike if you will dude I'm dude and Lamont I'm coming for you seriously bird by fucking bird bitch bear that's barely a deep cut that doesn't even deserve to be said but anyway insert a joke about like traveling mercies and traveling I can't so I won't somewhere in there is like a joke but who has the time to craft it I'm too lazy yeah for sure I will say that the story I told Bethany was about staying home all weekend listening to the radio and realizing that it was playing in four-hour like segments you were like breaking another radio you were like now it's time for me to take over the radio well no I was like let me make the perfect mixtape based on what's playing on the radio this weekend so I listened for the first four hours to get the order down and then I would start recording and I would get every song in the order I wanted over the course of the next two days based on what the you know I could tell when something was coming up or whatever so I would call that like OCD friendless obsession with mixtape making maybe and not quite the charming story that Bethany found it to be she was like my god the way our lives were before technology and you were like actually at that time CD players and apps are existed I just was in a different world well I told her about Napster and I was like it would take 30 minutes to download a song so I'd be really certain about what songs I wanted to download over the modem and so she was like oh man I totally forgot about like she's like or I just didn't know about stuff like that at the time you know and or that wasn't her experience anyway and so I was like yeah so I had like research and look up lyrics and decide like what song of this artist I was gonna get and if I could only pick one then it would take my entire idea of the whole artist because I was like oh I don't know I didn't like that song very much but I couldn't chant taking an entire half-hour download a second song without that same artist so I had a very bizarre Napster playlist did I ever tell you something cool about my parents is like when we got Napster first of all they were in charge of it they chose all the songs etc I don't know I had my CCMCDs I wasn't like looking for new music but they would like download songs that they liked in their day but they also downloaded SNL clips that's so funny like in stand-up bets from like the 80s that they like remembered and were like oh this funny bit about blah blah blah and so like that's how I like first-time comedy was from Napster that's very funny cool story about my parents end cool story Christine do you have a joke life moment I do I have a sad joke life moment what is it tell me well I got in a car accident a collision where both cars were moving I appreciate your faint that sympathy I mean I know it's real sympathy but you already heard about it let's be I did hear about it when it happened the moment it happened maybe during it happened no oh yeah no I texted you why texted you after I called on one calling I was the first thing I did and then I texted you because I knew you were the person that was like on your phone and would like if I texted like I was in an accident but I'm okay you would like receive that information and not feel freaked out I mean you feel like you wouldn't like panic or anything because you would trust the delivery yeah I just want to make sure you had everything you needed so for me it was like a question of resources I was like okay what what you like is a resource that I often use you for in my panic moments because sure everyone is terrible at computers but you are like you know second chair Wow hey second chair in a symphony is not bad yeah it's still second it's still a silver metal okay Arcana doesn't do silver so um so yeah I like this woman appeared on nowhere like she cut across traffic to make like a risky term and yeah sure enough did not pay off no she like 50 she flew in front of me I slid on my brakes it was awful everyone's okay my truck is mostly fine because turns out trucks are beasts and it's a great thing to drive on the road because you're be fine and everyone else is hard will turn into rubble which is what her car was yes which I felt so sad for her I was just like oh oh and I think I texted you don't get in an accident because your car would turn into rubble she wasn't like upset with you right thing right no she wasn't upset with me she was upset but not like she was sad she was like crying and you know yeah and I comforted her and we were like oh like she was in I mean in her defense like she like there were cars that waved her through telling her it was okay to make the left turn anyway she was like she was like I knew I shouldn't have left the house today like oh Jesus yeah yeah it was hard it was hard for all of us well I'm sorry how was that a joke life moment well I mean you know in and of itself that's not actually a joke like so like the cop comes and you need like your license your registration and your insurance so I joke like mom it would be I don't have any of those well yeah so I was like let's see if you have passed Abigail was doing anyone any favors probably not I found the registration whoa which expires at the end of this month and I haven't renewed yet so thank God for that here's open and then my license my license is current but the actual current license is missing so I have my backup license from like before I changed my address sure which thankfully I handed over it was asking questions I think he look I think he can look at my number my license they do and they do he probably didn't even look at the date on the license itself or whatever and then insurance I had nothing on but like pulled up a PDF on my computer in like ten seconds and again he didn't have any like he wasn't any like he wasn't suspicious or weird or like making fun of me like the Hoover PD so I I provide all the paperwork blah blah he's gone for like forever on his little bike doing whatever he has me filled a clipboard with my statement it is like the most drawn out thing I'm like glad that he is there to manage the sad other driver because I have a limit yeah yeah and then he like hands me back all of my stuff and then two minutes passes and I don't know where my driver's license is and the last time I saw it was in his little fist when he handed me the stack of my three three pieces there was like my two pieces of paper I gave him the accident report that he spit out of his little like credit card machine and my driver's license like he handed it all to me in a little fist with like the credit with my driver's license on top with my like shitty den grained looking back at me I took it from him I have those three pieces of paper I have not seen my license so far I've heard about his little bike his little credit card machine his little fist and his little stack of papers how large was this person interacting with you I mean he was a normal looking pop but I try to describe minimalist terms as much as possible sure maximize women minimalize men not words I'm doing my part for the reveille reverer revolution hey resistance something so yeah I lost my driver's license in an accident at a scene of the crime good I hope that he uses it for whatever he's playing to use this white girl license for no I don't think he has it we had a joke about it when he was like how I don't lose this and I have a memory which we all know memories are fake but I have a memory of like a bit on that top of the stack he had it came to me well it's kind of just to fall in down around the chair or something yeah but do you know how many times I've like flashlight like digging looking for my own shitty den grained underneath there in a way are we all looking for our own shitty and green down there exactly so yeah I'll be traveling to needles California to get a replacement which is the DMV that's on the border of California and Arizona because you know I didn't license or to get a rental car for a trip I'm taking in two weeks so my joke life moment which is vaguely similar would be that I went really early to a store to go get something maybe a week or two ago and I came out I was the only car parked on the street because it's pretty early but it's an area with really expensive meters like four dollars an hour meters yes so I had parked for like 30 minutes and I knew I came out in less time but of course I see a bicycle cop rolling up to the front of my car and I zoom over there and start like trying to open the car door to I don't know drive away before he talks to me and he's like hey so what's up with the what's up with your stickers and I'm like oh yeah and I'm like oh so here's the story it's kind of long and his eyes are like no please don't do this please and I was like so basically like I paid for the new ones last year and then they went to my old address they didn't come and then like they got lost or whatever so I've been mean to replace them but I know that my registration date is like in the next month or so so I was just like well I'll just wait for that but it's paid and you can look it up and see that it's paid okay is that a true story yeah okay it went to I think Jenny's house and I never thought that you're like but you're like it's paid I just don't have the stickers which I was like that should matter because the same thing with the license I was like if you lose your license you're not like I get the wrong and I'll resist telling my own three versions of the story but yes if it's paid it doesn't matter that's essentially what I said over and over to the point where he said like should I arrest you so yeah or he said do you want to get arrested which was different so I don't think I ever see you mad like that in person mad enough that a cop would feel so intimidated he was he was laughing but we're both okay and talking louder and louder I would say and both of us were getting more aggressive and I so okay so I said you know oh you can look it up it's paid or whatever and he said well that doesn't really matter if it's more than six months out of date they can impound your car and I said it's not out of date it's paid well I said that's what I said I said well it's paid though if you look it up you can see that it's paid so that that's not fair that shouldn't matter and he said well I'm just letting you know and I said right but can we talk about fairness for a second again it shouldn't matter because I said I didn't do anything wrong and it's paid so it's fine and he said no that's not how it works you have to have the stickers otherwise you're in arrears or whatever and I was like can we talk about I said literally well how about I said that's not fair and he said I'm not trying to talk about fairness here and I said but can you at least admit that my point is correct that I am not in the wrong here and I said before he even looked it up he didn't look up anything the entire time he's a bicycle cop like he was just talking to me the whole time he had pulled out a thing and he's like well that's what it was so before I said the thing about fairness he said well I'm not gonna give you a ticket and I said well you shouldn't give me a ticket anyway because I didn't do anything wrong because if you look it up it's paid he said that's not the law the law says that you have to have the sticker and I said but that's not just and I started and he's like hey I'm not here to talk about justice I was like but can you admit that that is a completely unjust insane situation that would require you to have a sticker even though you haven't like and I was like think I mean to be fair his job title law enforcer yeah is it oh is officially not supposed to decide justice because like in a bigger picture we don't want them deciding justice moment by moment I get it and he said and he put both his hands up and he was kind of laughing but he was like do I need to arrest you like what's going on essentially and I was like you're like I'm leaving this conversation's over right I was like no we're all good here except that I think like I again I didn't and he's like literally it takes he's like it's five dollars to get it replaced like just go to the DMV and get it replaced or like you know whatever and I was like well thank you for the information I appreciate it officer I'll be leaving now and he was like all right just get it taken care of he's like you don't want to get your car impounded over something dumb like that and I was like it's been years I think good well and here's the thing not to like you know step on his toes but it they won't impound you if your registration is current if you're missing the stickers you get a fix it ticket you don't get impounded well now that I'm all enraged I feel like that is the episode we went we had some highs a little hammer we had your eyes in registration stickers you know we had a triple axle and then we had a falling on our ass it was a mixed we had a failed sau kau if you know what I mean it was it was not a clean skate I would not call that a clean skate technically or visually anyway people can find us at two girls talking dot club which is our website address Abigail two girls talking club website keywords for you to search and you can join our Facebook group we've got merch we've got palm readings we've got insider secrets about the people you know and how they are spying on you so be careful I know who they are what else we have dogs they can see both into the past and the future if you want us to ask them a question let us know right then a group we will report back on their findings as we see validation from them because we need constant validation yeah bye brand new online travel site that you need to visit before planning your next vacation www.blueskybacations.net you'll find great rates for any type of travel or vacation you have in mind sign up for their email list for exclusive offers and discounts they have extremely competitive prices and well informed travel advice experience tranquility under a blue sky with www.blueskybacations.net