45: Trust in Discovery

Sometimes there are moments in our lives that force us to redefine ourselves. A concrete wall can -- at times -- pop up just as we are joyfully walking down our heroic journeys. And man....can this be frustrating or what? Today I’m thinking about Redefining You and would like to share three tips to help you define yourself.  Today’s mantra: “Trust in discovery. Be open to where your feet will land next."  Whenever a concrete wall pops up in our lives, look carefully at the wall. If you look close, there's often a little arrow sketched into the wall pointing us in another (and often times more beautiful) direction.  Or a beautiful new person meets you at the wall and takes you down a new path for a short time. Or sometimes you can pull out your waist belt grappling hook and haul yourself over that wall if it’s not too high (childhood Batman fantasy anyone?). But when you can’t climb that wall, here are three tips to become aware of your new direction. 1. Stop Carrying So Much Tim O’Brien has a beautiful book called The Things They Carried. It’s a brilliant look into what the soldiers in the Vietnam War carried with them both physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Many of the story’s characters struggled to move forward in their lives until they learned to stop carrying so much.  The art of letting go is not easy. I stink at it.  As much as I pride myself on being a minimalist, I struggle to let go of things. I have gadgets, clothes, and other material things that I don’t need, but can’t for some reason donate to charity or recycle. I have childhood memories that still challenge my daily positive outlook in life. It’s so hard to let go of these things, but by doing so they allow us to move forward in life.  I recently met a yogini who after a terrible breakup of a long-term relationship, moved from California to Costa Rica and unplugged herself from the digital world ten years ago: no tv, no internet. She told me how much she added to her life when she subtracted the things that didn’t matter.  Open   I’m in the midst of redefining myself right now and honestly don’t have a clear plan of where this all will lead to. But I know that I need to keep exploring. Almost all of the extraordinary people I’ve interviewed in my work have had this type of open mind when they choose to stride down their own heroic path.  Joseph Campbell reminds us of following our bliss on our own individual paths: “When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else.” So I’m trusting in this openness.  Ten years ago I entered into the teaching profession because I wanted to transform education and redesign the high school learning experience. I struck a concrete wall and am burnt out on trying to transform education. So I moved on and shifted instead of continuing to walk into a concrete wall. Because, well, continuing to walk into a concrete wall hurts.  Five years ago I was on track for Team USA (and perhaps Olympic qualifying) in triathlon. Injuries and the unnecessary stress it put on ability to be a loving family member and husband forced me to redefine myself.  Concrete wall. Four years ago, my wife and I started our harrowing journey into persevering through chronic Lyme Disease that took my wife from running marathons to a wheelchair in just a few months.  Concrete wall.  My wife had to quit teaching because her body wouldn't allow her to do so. She redefined herself by writing her first YA fantasy novel and launching a boutique gemstone jewelry line that uses the healing properties of gemstones. (yes, I know...I'm a lucky guy ;) Three years ago, I launched my writing career and started interviewing some of the greatest minds of our time.  Since launching Your Life on Purpose two months ago, I’ve had over one hundred people reach out to via email to share their love and appreciation. Over 50,000 people have tuned in.  And when I took The Purpose Manifesto message to my writing, my writing career has sky-rocketed. Over 10,000 people have read my recent articles on Elephant Journal.  Anne Lamott said, “Don’t look at your feet to see if you’re doing it right. Just dance.” And so, I’m putting on my dancing shoes.  You with me? Words...Words...Words   We’re a social species. On my LinkedIn profile, I use to have “Storytelling Animal” as my job title. In other words, I was calling myself “human.” But, I think only a few people got the joke.  After landing an interview at Apple headquarters in 2014, Apple flew me to Cupertino to sit down with the executive team.  One of the many incredible executives there told me that he didn’t quite get “Storytelling Animal”. It sort of made me come off as an arrogant marketing guy who is such an animal at spreading a message. Whoops. We are a storytelling species. If you were to tap into your primal roots, you’d remember the days of sitting around the fire and sharing stories.  But that doesn’t mean we’re good at communicating effectively.  Sometimes our message can get so easily constipated and misinterpreted. Like the caveman, I sometimes grunt when I need to learn to use the correct words.  That’s why I love languages. If I had one superpower in the world, it would be to be able to speak every language in the world (or universe). Discovering new words and developing deeper semantics allow us to create new realms of understanding and create new language, especially because our realities are constructed (says the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis) by the words we use to construct our reality.  New words -- new language --  can help us see the arrow that's scribbled on the concrete wall. It can even bridge new relationships and connect you to your tribe of people that will help you live extraordinary.   I’d love to hear from you and learn from your thoughts.