455: Unsupportive Midwife with Traumatic Experience Leading to a Hospital Transfer and Peaceful Birth with Lillie Cooke (DIAH Classic)

Is one way to birth “better” than another? Sometimes there are misconceptions and unhealthy conversations floating about in the birth community around natural vs. medicated birth or hospital vs. home. That one is better than the other or there’s a sense of superiority or higher moral code to choose one over the other. And competition comes in as a factor, like there is something to prove or defy. This topic is relevant for the conversation we have today with Lillie Cooke, sharing her birth story with us. Lillie and her husband Josh planned for a home birth with their first child, son Judah. Along the way towards planning for the birth, Lillie noticed little things that indicated she wasn’t really connecting deeply with her midwife. There was also a big fear of going to the hospital, seeking to avoid that at all costs. This fear stemmed from, as Lillie put it “hearing terrible hospital stories and only fairy tale home birth stories from the homebirth community.” Labor began at 40 weeks and 6 days. After laboring for 4 days, things started to feel chaotic and the midwife’s hands-off approach wasn’t very helpful for what Lillie needed. Lillie made the choice to transfer because of pain and exhaustion. What helped make the transfer a less fearful event was the great experience she had with the staff there. They were respectful and she felt empowered, calm and peaceful.  Some words from Lillie: “I ended up having so much better care and such a peaceful birth. The OB was more of a midwife than my own midwife! We ended up with a peaceful vaginal delivery. She also didn’t check on me until 3 weeks after my birth. After I just felt abandoned and not welcome in the home birth community. I felt the one in our area was not very inclusive to all births and made it feel like you didn’t have a good enough or “superior” birth if it wasn’t at home. My experience woke me up from the tunnel vision I had before from being in that community and showed me that none of that was true. That’s why I love this podcast because it is the only homebirth podcast that is inclusive with ALL births and shows the pros AND cons of homebirth. I want to share my story to other first time mamas so they have a better perspective and know there is no superior way or place to birth despite what people promote. And there are good stories and traumatic stories at home just like at the hospital. But no one lets people come on and talk about that with home births and that’s a shame. Everyone’s experience is so powerful. Birth is so powerful. I've learned a lot from my first birth and would just love to share my story and my thoughts surrounding it.”  And - Lillie is currently pregnant with her second child. What birth plan are they creating? Listen in to find out! Topics we cover in this episode: Business of Being Born, Ina May Gaskin, relationship with your midwife, choosing a care provider that’s best for you, Miles Circuit, hospital transfer, epidural Links From The Episode: The Miles Circuit: http://www.milescircuit.com/ Offers From Our Awesome Partners: Needed: https://bit.ly/2DuMBxP - use code DIAH to get 20% off your order Splash Blanket: https://bit.ly/3JPe1g0 - use code DIAH for 10% off your order Esembly: https://bit.ly/3eanCSz - use code DIH20 to get 20% off your order More From Doing It At Home: Send us your birth story: https://bit.ly/3jOjCKl Doing It At Home book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3vJcPmU DIAH Website: https://www.diahpodcast.com/ DIAH Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doingitathome/ DIAH YouTube: https://bit.ly/3pzuzQC DIAH Merch: www.diahpodcast.com/merch Give Back to DIAH: https://bit.ly/3qgm4r9 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices